June 16, 2025

You Need a Fool in Your Life, But Not the Kind You Think

You Need a Fool in Your Life, But Not the Kind You Think
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Former trial attorney turned executive coach, Paul Glover, shares his journey from success to downfall, and the powerful lessons in transformation, leadership, and self-awareness he gained along the way. Discover why having a “fool” in your life is essential, and how to uncover blind spots, and the real path to lasting change.

Inspire Vision Podcast is broadcast on K4HD Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Inspire Vision Podcast TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Welshon, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to see.

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Paul Welcome to the show.

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Thank you, doctor Doug. I appreciate being here.

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Well, I'm looking forward to this. You know, I had

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a chance to listen to your ted X talk and

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it was really fascinating and you obviously went into some

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interesting topics. But what I'd love for you to do

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is share with the audience kind of your background and

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I know that will bring up the whole story to

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a little degree, and then we'll get into that maybe

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a little bit further. But if you could do that,

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I know you do a lot of different things, and

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if you could share with the audience what was your

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journey that brought you to this point, I think that

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would be interesting.

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Absolutely well. For thirty years, I was a practicing federal

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trial attorney in the city of Chicago, practicing labor and

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employment law. I took a detour. I became a convicted felon,

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spent five and a half years in a federal prison,

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got out, and because I could no longer practice law,

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I decided I was going to take my life experiences,

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including the concept of surviving, of failure and recovering, and

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turning it into a coaching platform. I've been an executive

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coach since two thousand and one. I now have a

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national coaching practice. My largest client's billion dollar privately held company.

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That's my trajectory. In about thirty seconds, it covers seventy years.

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Okay, So as you work with these large companies, what's

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your main focus with them or is it kind of

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in general? I know when I was working with very

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small companies as a consultant. I was finding that I'm

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really focusing on the organizational aspects of it and kind

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of going through a whole process of marketing and all

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of that type of thing. What's your focus with those companies?

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Well, I bill myself as the NOBS workplace performance coach.

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I work with the executive suite, and it's all about

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improving leadership of the leaders. I actually my tagline is

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challenging the best to become better, and I work exclusively

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in taking those leadership skill sets and making them much better.

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That's it in a nutshell. I wish it was more complicated,

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but it's not. I take my experience plus the experience

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of being a coach now for thirty years, and I

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turned that into some valuable actionable input.

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Okay, And you know what I find fascinating as I

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worked with individuals, and like I say, not to the

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degree that you do by any stretch of the imagination,

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but while I was doing that, what I found was

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there so often that whatever skills you were teaching business

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wise were literally skills that they needed in their own lives.

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Because each one of us really needs to be a

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leader in our own life. Is that not true?

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Oh? Absolutely? The concept of trying to By the way,

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this is a new concept. I absolutely agree with you.

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But leadership prior to the pandemic, especially was compartmentalized. You

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left your personal life at home. Leaders did not like

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the concept of sharing. They didn't want to be vulnerable,

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they didn't want to be authentic. They felt that that

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made them look weak and ineffective. The pandemic changed that

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people stopped being willing to accept this division of your

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one thing outside of work and you're another thing at work.

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You're not. You're a holistic person. You bring that bagage

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wherever it may be to the workplace, but you also

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take it home with you. So yeah, you're actually you're

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spot on with us. My context of coaching is about

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their life, not just about their work.

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Okay. And you know, I listened to your ted X talk,

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as I mentioned, and and you talk about the fact

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that everybody needs a fool in their life. And we're

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going to get into that, Okay, but that's going to

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be maybe near the end of what we're going to

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talk about today, because one of the things I want

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to talk to you about, because you had mentioned them,

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is these blind spots that we have and briggers that

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activate them. I in fact, I found a quote that

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I found interesting and I want to share it with

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you with the audience because I think it's pertinent to

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what we're going to talk about. Is from Carljng and

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what he says is, until you make the unconscious conscious,

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it will direct your life and you will call it

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fate and yeah, spot on. And what I find is

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that so often we don't realize that our literal experience

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in life is a result of that unconscious subconscious, those

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those triggers, those blind spots as you refer to them.

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And so I'm going to ask you a very transparent question.

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You were You were an attorney in Chicago. By the way,

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I grew up in Chicago, so I love Chicago. But

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you were an attorney in Chicago you ended up going

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to prison.

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Why? Ego?

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Ego?

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Yes, and let me tell you that ego was my

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blind spot. I think it is the blind spot for many.

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And yes, my ego led me to believe that I

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was tell you I was, I was the smartest guy

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in the room. There was never any room that I

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was in that I didn't truly believe that I was

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extraordinarily successful as an attorney and a smart guy, but

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stupid when it comes to relationships. And because of that

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ego and the desire to belong. I came from a

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broken home and I strived to find stability in my life,

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but I also needed acceptance. I always felt like I

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was an outcast. I was a loaner. I did not

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join groups, and the clientele that I represented was morally reprehensible. However,

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I was fascinated by them, and they really wanted me

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to join their group, because having a smart lawyer to

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defend you when you commit a crime is a plus.

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And I wanted that group. I wanted to belong and

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they gave me the opportunity. But there's initiation fee to

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belong to any group, and that initiation fee was obviously

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to commit those morally reprehensible tasks, the things that you did,

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and I did that with I did that willfully. I

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don't I make no bumps about it. I absolutely deserve

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to go to prison. However, so those two blind spots

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for me, the ego and the need to belong, allowed

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me to be triggered by the way people recognize your

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blind spots even though you don't.

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And then if they're not good. They'll take advantage of them.

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Absolutely, they'll manipulate you by pressing triggering those blind spots.

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Okay, So one of the things that I've observed in

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myself as well as others, and as we've talked on

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these podcasts for years now about this topic, is fascinating

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that we literally create our life, We literally create our experiences,

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and oftentimes we don't realize initially at least that those

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experiences are a result of those limiting beliefs that we

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have a subconscious type of things. Oftentimes it's not even conscious.

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Oftentimes it's actually built in our DNA, and we don't

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realize that the epigenetics of that is causing us to

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do certain things. But my question for you, and you

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had mentioned a little bit of it, but let's let's

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do a deep dive, because I think for the audience

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it would be really fascinating for them to understand what

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you discovered in a deep way about your previous life

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as a child and your subconscious imprints, and you call

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them blind spots that triggered you to do the things

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that you did that ultimately now you are very sorry

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that you did, and obviously you have changed your life

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but what were those things talked about needing to be accepted?

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Were there others that you wanted to be a part

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of a group? What was it that actually literally caused

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you to make those decisions and at the time feel

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like it was okay.

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Well, first, just you're correct about these mind spots are

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with us from birth. They they're there. We don't see them,

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but we also can't get rid of them. It does

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not matter how hard we try, they continue to exist.

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It is our ability to recognize them and exert control.

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So at the time, because first overconfident, very successful, ego

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driven one and more, by the way, trial trial lawyers

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are adrenaline junkies. You know you're not a trial lawyer

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if you don't enjoy the high and I did. My

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problem was between trials when I wasn't actually in front

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of the jury and in court in front of the

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jumb engaged in that verbal combat with a worthy opponent.

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I was bored. I didn't like that, and I saw it.

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I sought out adrenaline inducing opportunities. And by the way,

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this group that I speak of, my client base, offered

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me that they offered me acceptance, They offered me the

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adrenaline high. They offered me the ego stroking that I craved.

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I needed to be told that I was good. I

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needed to be told I was exceptional. This came from again,

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I go back to my childhood. A broken home leaves

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that indelible impact on you. You never feel like you're

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completely first, You feel like you may have caused it.

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You don't know why adults do what they do as

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a kid, so you make those assumptions. And I assumed

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that it was something that I did. I never found

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that out, obviously because it wasn't true. But it didn't

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mean I didn't believe it. I did believe it. And

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because of that, I was always offering from imposter syndrome.

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Even though I would tell you I was the smartest

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guy in the room, I was never sure that that

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level of doubt continues to permeate every action that I took.

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So I craved that. I craved all of the stuff

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that I got from people who realized my blind spots

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and decided to take advantage of them.

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Well, and you know that's true, and unfortunately you know

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whether it's people. And like I said, I grew up

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in Chicago, so I get what you're talking about. But

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you know, people that are not necessarily good will obviously

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identify those type of things and take advantage of those.

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There are others that will take advantage of situations that

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will empower them. For instance, when you get into abuse,

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whether it's physical or mental or emotional, whatever that happens

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to be. So often people find themselves continually in those

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same relationships because they've never been able to figure out

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internally and subconsciously what they were, what was really going on,

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what was causing that type of thing. Now I want

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to disagree with you on one thing, and okay, and

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it may be worth thinking the same thing, and there

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is no disagreement. But my belief system, and as I've

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studied it, what I find is that there literally is

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a way to change neural pathways. So do we ever

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totally overcome those imprints and get them wipe from a memory.

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Absolutely not. But I believe that as we consciously, with

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a mindset and emotional intelligence, start to observe what's going

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on and literally allow ourselves to recognize reframe those because

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as you say, it's really perception from childhood all the time,

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or at least a lot of the time, and be

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able to change the neural pathways to where you don't

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totally eliminate the neural pathways, but you've moved to the side,

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to the point that if you were really in a

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conscious situation, when those emotions start to come up, you

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immediately moved them to the side because you're now more

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conscious and you've created a stronger nearrow pathway. What are

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your thoughts.

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No, first, I don't disagree with you at all. I

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think that for most of us it is extraordinarily difficult

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for us to do that on our own. That's why

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we'll talk about the concept of the pool. That's my crunching.

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But let me tell you that the seminal event that

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allowed me the opportunity to do exactly what you say

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was going to prison. If I had not gone to

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prison first, I wouldn't have survived. I would have been

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dead long ago. That experience forced me to understand these

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blind spots, and with the help of a support system,

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I did exactly what you said. I started to change

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the way I looked at my life and how I behaved,

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but only under that amount of direct It took me

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going to prison. And let me tell you how wrong

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we embedded these are I stood in front of a

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judge who was getting ready to sentence me to seven

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years of incarceration and two things. First, I had practiced

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in front of this judge, and the judge said, as

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he prepared the sentence me, you're one of the few

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people that I wish I could give more time to,

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but he couldn't under the sentencing guidelines. And he offered

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me an opportunity. He said, I'm going to reduce your

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sentence by twenty percent if you do only two things. First,

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I'd already been found guilty. It was my second trial.

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I'd been found guilty in the second trial. I was

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going to go to prison. Yeah, there was no way

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around this. He said, you must accept responsibility for what

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you did, and you must agree to cooperate with the

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prosecuting attorney to concerning those people that committed the crimes

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with you. Now, listen, is a no brainer, isn't it?

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A twenty percent reduction in prison time? Lets me go

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home a year year and a half early. And I

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said no, and.

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You probably would have been killed in prison. Maybe let's

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be honest.

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By the way, I have to admit I had an

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insurance package that we don't need to talk about that.

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I don't think that would have happened. Second, you could

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be very selective about information. But the reality was that

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I didn't do that out of fear, I tell you truthfully.

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I did it out of the the need to still

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be a part of this group that would have that

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could cut me loose in a heartbeat. Right, there is

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no honor among thieves. And if you think that someone

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is going to support you when you get in trouble,

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you're wrong. They run away from you. But that's how

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strongly embedded my needs were, my blind spots were. It

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took going to prison, and it took two years of

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incarceration before I started to understand the need to do

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exactly what you said, reframe my life and start to

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have this this opportunity to see it differently but also

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to behave differently based on this different perception.

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Well, and you know, you talk about something fascinating. So

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this is nothing I thought we were going to talk about.

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But let's talk about prison for a minute, because you know,

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so often people come out of prison as convicted whatever,

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and they have a real struggle in their lives to

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be able to you know, generate income, to be able

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to get a decent job and so forth. Obviously that

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didn't happen to you. But my question is this, and

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I think it may be important for the audience to

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understand if this is what happened in prison, did they

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offer you some coaching, Did they offer you anything for

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you to be able to finally get into where you

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were able to analyze what was going on as you

283
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were talking about or was that all on your own

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by just reading and doing those things.

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The prison is not about rehabilitation, it's warehousing. No, they

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don't offer any opportunities to change your life. Prison. It's

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just not what it's The system is not structured that way.

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So no, I did this on my own, and I'll

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tell you. I'll tell you this seminal moment. I spent

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the first two years of incarceration engaged in revenge fantasy.

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I was going to get even with everyone who put

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me in prison. I accepted no responsibility for having myself,

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destroying my life, leaving my family destitute, and spending five

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and a half years, at age fifty in prison. The

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thing that the thing that happened was at the end

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of year two men that I had seen in prison

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when I got there, started and got and been released

298
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started to come back, and that shocked me, and I

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suddenly realized that if I did not put in the

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effort to change who I was and how I behaved,

301
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how I thought that I was going to be a

302
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career criminal, that was going to be made. I was

303
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going to lose my family and continue to get out,

304
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commit the same crimes, maybe the different fashion, and returned

305
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to prison. That shock started me on this transformation journey.

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But no, prison doesn't do any of that for you.

307
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I'll let me relate to anecdotes. Because I was never

308
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of service. It was never a part of my life

309
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to be of service to anyone except myself. Until I

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went to prison and my wife and I reached a compact.

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I had asked her to become my fool, the person

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who would help me transform, and she said no. She said,

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I know you, I love you, but I know that

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if I say something you need to change or that

315
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you're wrong, We're going to end up in a debate.

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She said, I'm not going to drive five and a

317
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half hours one weekend a month to spend two days

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with you and fight, so I'm not interested. Shocked me.

319
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I was like, oh my god, it's a person who

320
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loves me the most, and they're not going to help me.

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I said that I need to do this, and she said,

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so she loved. Thirty days later, she comes back and

323
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we had this discussion and I said, okay, let's talk

324
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about how we can make this work, because I have

325
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to do this. If I can't do this, I can't

326
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do it on my own. And she said, all right,

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I'll tell you what the rules are. She said, every month,

328
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the last hour of our visit, I'm going to give

329
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you three things you need to work on, and when

330
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I come back a month later, you better tell me

331
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what you've done to work on them. She said. The

332
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first time you don't do that, I'm done so with

333
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that force, and I mean it killed me to hear that,

334
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because at the end of every visiting session for four

335
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four years after that, the last half hour she would,

336
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by the way, she never she never lacked for things

337
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to tell me I needed to change.

338
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So I can't.

339
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Imagine, oh, yeah, I I destroyed her life. I mean, seriously,

340
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if the fact that she stayed with me is crazy,

341
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she and she would give me the three things, and

342
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all I could say was.

343
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Thank you, Yeah, let me let me ask you this

344
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question because you know, you talk in general about after

345
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two years you decided you needed to really do that.

346
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What caused the AHA moments for you to suddenly sit

347
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back and say, you know what, I've got to change

348
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or my life will never change and I'll be back

349
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here again in a number of years. What was that

350
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AHA moment for you? Because what I find so often

351
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is people go through lives and many of them never

352
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have an AHA moment. They just continue on and continue on,

353
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whereas other people something happens that gives them that AHA

354
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moment that says, you know it, I've got to do

355
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this introspective work. What was it for you?

356
00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:34.920
First, I'm going to disagree with you. Everybody has an

357
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AHA moment, you just choose to ignore.

358
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It, right, Okay, you're right, you're right.

359
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:43.960
Well yeah and so so yeah, and again. I saw

360
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guys start to come back to prison, and it just

361
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was it was like, oh my god, that was it.

362
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That was the lightning bolt that shocked me up. Until

363
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that time, it had never occurred to me that people

364
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would ever come back. Don't you learn your lesson? So

365
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at that point I realized that I was not learning

366
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my lesson. That I was exactly like them. And again

367
00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:08.839
self esteem came into this because I was in prison

368
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thinking I'm an educated guy, I've got the every opportunity

369
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when I get out, And then I certainly realized probably not.

370
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If I'm not different, life will not be different from me.

371
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Why would it be. This was just an interlude. If

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I didn't do something about it, it would just be

373
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a repeat. So that was it, And you know, I

374
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wish I could tell you that was a specific thing,

375
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but it just was suddenly realizing and being shocked by

376
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the fact that people would come back to this place

377
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that I was find so hard to get out of.

378
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:44.720
It just realization, you know, and and I wish again

379
00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:47.720
nothing else. The interesting thing was when I talked to

380
00:21:47.799 --> 00:21:50.759
my wife, that was that was That was actually when

381
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you want the aha moment when she said she was

382
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not going to help me. That you're a spot on. Yes,

383
00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:02.160
The aha moment was not this realization about what I

384
00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:04.880
needed to do. It was the realization that the person

385
00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:07.279
who loved me the most was not going to help

386
00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:10.240
me to do it. And that was the turning.

387
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Point because of who you were as far as she

388
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understood up to that point. Absolutely, yeah, which I find me.

389
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You know.

390
00:22:18.119 --> 00:22:21.759
So you talk about fool, and you defined it very

391
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:23.720
well in your ted X talk. But I like for

392
00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:26.039
you now, because we're going to talk about this, you

393
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:27.839
say you need a fool in your life, talk a

394
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:31.240
little bit about the background of that, because most people,

395
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:32.640
I'm sure are not going to get it.

396
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:36.920
Nobody gives it. Let's that's why I was a But

397
00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:39.920
I started trying to pitch this Beepore are like, You've

398
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:42.039
got to change the title. It's not no one's going

399
00:22:42.119 --> 00:22:47.000
to understand any No, I'm I'm a reader. But in prison,

400
00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:49.720
I was a voracious reader. Right, there's so much time,

401
00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:55.119
and I read about the concept of the medieval king

402
00:22:55.640 --> 00:22:59.119
who was appointed by God, and the concept of the

403
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:03.880
fool that was the counterbalance to infallibility. The deal was

404
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.079
that the king, because he was appointed by God, was infallible.

405
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:11.519
Anyone who challenged the king his behavior, his actions committed

406
00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:16.599
committed treason and would have their head cut off. However,

407
00:23:16.680 --> 00:23:19.759
the exception to that was the fool. Now, when we

408
00:23:19.799 --> 00:23:22.359
see the fool in a picture or in a movie,

409
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:25.200
we look at him as an entertainer sitting at the

410
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:27.599
foot of the throne. They're dressed up in that weird garb.

411
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:30.720
They jump up and they sing a song, they tell

412
00:23:30.759 --> 00:23:33.480
a joke. That wasn't the function of the fool. The

413
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:36.000
function of the fool was because they were viewed as

414
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:40.680
being crazy, they had the psychological safety to tell the

415
00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:44.079
king they were wrong. So the fool actually was a

416
00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:48.319
trusted advisor to the king, which was that counterbalance to

417
00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:52.079
absolute power. I loved that concept. I read it and

418
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:58.119
I said, you know, first I said, ego, I'm the king, right,

419
00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:01.319
I didn't say I was. I said, I'm the king.

420
00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:05.319
I need to find the fool, all right. So the

421
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:09.839
concept was at was backwards at the beginning. But as

422
00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:12.920
I worked my way through this concept with my wife,

423
00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:17.119
who was my fool, became my fool and gave me

424
00:24:17.319 --> 00:24:21.519
the gift of truth. And I look at coaching as

425
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:26.119
a calling because of my experience. I bought that with

426
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:31.160
me and I developed a coaching process based on my

427
00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:35.799
being a leader's fool. So many leaders live in echo chambers.

428
00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:39.559
They only hear how good they are. The psychological safety

429
00:24:39.640 --> 00:24:42.559
we talk about it a lot, right, the safety and

430
00:24:42.599 --> 00:24:46.039
the freedom to tell someone the truth. Well, we love

431
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:49.599
to think that that exists in our organizations, but it doesn't.

432
00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:54.119
People are afraid to tell leaders the truth they know

433
00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:56.960
something bad will happen to them, or they're afraid of will.

434
00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:00.880
So as an independent contractor a coach, I said, well,

435
00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:05.880
that's my job. I will tell leaders the truth. And

436
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:09.359
that's been the basis for coaching. So that's the process

437
00:25:09.400 --> 00:25:12.319
and the concept of the pool. And I believe my

438
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:15.519
Ted Talks says it, everyone needs a pool in their life.

439
00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:18.279
If you don't have someone to tell you the truth

440
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:22.200
about you, you will never be able to overcome those

441
00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:26.599
blind spots, even recognize them, avoid those triggers and start

442
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:28.799
to reach your full potential as a human being.

443
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:32.440
Well, and you know, I believe that's true. And whether

444
00:25:32.519 --> 00:25:36.839
we call them coaches or you know, if the psychologists

445
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:39.160
or whatever you want to call them, or you know,

446
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:44.759
your personal full But here's my question. Obviously, quite frankly,

447
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:47.680
you were very fortunate that your wife, ultimately, when she

448
00:25:47.799 --> 00:25:51.599
decided to do that, had the ability to do that.

449
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:55.359
I've worked with some people just kind of more as

450
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:58.599
a friend than anything else, and I know sometimes that's

451
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:01.720
where you get your fools. But as I've worked with

452
00:26:01.799 --> 00:26:04.200
a few people, and one that comes to my mind

453
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:10.039
particularly they also have other friends that literally, in my opinion,

454
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:14.599
in my professional opinion, are leading them the wrong way

455
00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:20.480
and are supporting them in their idiocy and not really

456
00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:23.000
and in their ego and all of those type of things,

457
00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:26.839
rather than telling them the truth, maybe because they don't

458
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:29.799
know the truth, or number two, because they don't really

459
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:33.119
have the courage to tell the truth because they're afraid

460
00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:36.279
that it might ruin the friendship or whatever. So as

461
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:39.640
you talk about finding that fool in your life, how

462
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:42.559
important is it and what guidelines do you need to

463
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:45.200
use in order to make sure that whoever that is,

464
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:48.240
that's your fool, that's your coach that's there to help you,

465
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:51.559
is really doing it in an appropriate way.

466
00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:53.400
First, it is difficult.

467
00:26:55.160 --> 00:26:58.359
Most people don't want to Most people don't want to

468
00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:01.799
be a pool. By the way, is an uncomfortable position

469
00:27:01.880 --> 00:27:04.240
to give the gift of truth because the person that

470
00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:07.279
you're giving it to is going to be resistant to it.

471
00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:10.920
So the first thing that I tell everyone is you

472
00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:13.839
need to find someone who cares more about you than

473
00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:19.599
they do themselves. If if that's the groundwork, then that works.

474
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:22.839
They also have to be wise enough to know how

475
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:26.079
to communicate with you in a way that doesn't create

476
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:30.079
additional resistance. There's built in defensiveness when someone tells us

477
00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:33.119
we're wrong, So they've got to want to do that.

478
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:35.359
But they have to care enough about you to be

479
00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:41.359
willing to do this hard thing. That's why doing it

480
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:45.920
with friends extraordinarily difficult. I believe why the friendship is

481
00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:49.200
at risk. If you tell someone something they don't want

482
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:52.640
to hear, may very well damage the friendship. That's why

483
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:55.799
I look at coaches and I look at mentors as

484
00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:59.480
the place to go to find that person who cares

485
00:27:59.640 --> 00:28:04.039
enough about you but also cares enough to tell you

486
00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:08.640
the truth. That's too different caring. And by the way,

487
00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:11.480
you mentioned something, why don't people want to do this first?

488
00:28:11.640 --> 00:28:15.440
They may in the business world, people don't want to

489
00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:19.400
be your fool because they're after something from you that.

490
00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:22.160
They don't want you to be different. They want you

491
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:25.279
to stay the same. So yeah, and they'll feed that

492
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:28.200
ego and develop that echo chamber, so you have no

493
00:28:28.359 --> 00:28:32.000
desire to do anything other than listen to them tell

494
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:34.960
you how great you are. So that's why coaches and

495
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.640
why mentors have so much value in the leadership process. Also,

496
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:42.880
I love peer groups. I think the peer groups provide

497
00:28:42.920 --> 00:28:47.200
an opportunity, if they're appropriately put together, to have that

498
00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:51.680
psychological safety to tell someone the truth about a situation.

499
00:28:52.039 --> 00:28:54.960
But that requires a lot of honesty in a group setting.

500
00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:58.720
So there's a limitation to that. So back to the coaching,

501
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:01.200
I look at coaching as okay.

502
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:04.039
So so so here here's the other question. I have

503
00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:08.079
you know, the whole concept that you you are the

504
00:29:08.119 --> 00:29:11.680
average of the five people that you surround yourself with.

505
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:15.920
And again, as you're looking about talking to coaches, and

506
00:29:16.440 --> 00:29:19.680
believe me, I I understand how this works because I've

507
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.559
seen a lot of coaches that I'm going, oh my goodness, okay,

508
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:27.839
And so how do you how do you determine that

509
00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:30.559
that individual? Do you need to look at their lives

510
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.160
and because if they're if they're in the same boat

511
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:36.759
you are, then you know and quite frankly, a lot

512
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:39.799
of the times our friends are in the same boat

513
00:29:39.880 --> 00:29:42.359
we are, and they are the worst people to be

514
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:46.480
our fool and if they are that, they are we're

515
00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:50.640
very foolish. So so what what do you do? How

516
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.960
do you how do you determine someone is going to

517
00:29:54.119 --> 00:29:58.119
really be a good mentor a good coach for you?

518
00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:02.759
Are are there some red flags versus green flags that

519
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:05.359
you can share with the audience as they think about

520
00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:08.680
maybe doing this for themselves and finding someone that they

521
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.839
can ask about and question in order to really make

522
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.759
sure that they're getting someone a value, or as they

523
00:30:15.799 --> 00:30:19.640
start the process, are there some red flags that might

524
00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:22.240
come up that they can say, you know what, I

525
00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:23.839
don't think this is the right fool for me.

526
00:30:24.359 --> 00:30:27.119
Well, first I tell everyone I'm not a life coach,

527
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:31.160
and so I'll tell you the basis for my coaching

528
00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:35.400
is a client of mind gave me a testimonial. He said,

529
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:38.599
Paul is a shirpum. He will get you to the mountaintop,

530
00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:41.799
but he will not carry your pack. And to me,

531
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:44.920
that's what you're looking for in a coach. If you

532
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:48.200
want a coach to carry your pack and they agree

533
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:50.880
to do it, that's not the person that will help

534
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:54.200
you for transformation. So when you look at someone, they

535
00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:58.240
have to be hard enough to tell you what's wrong,

536
00:30:58.359 --> 00:31:00.960
to give you the gift of truth, then help you

537
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:04.359
create that action plan, whatever that may be. It's got

538
00:31:04.599 --> 00:31:08.319
to me that the concept of helping someone change is

539
00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:11.119
you can't just talk about it. You actually have to

540
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:14.279
put together a plan. So they can do it, and

541
00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:18.119
then you become their accountability buddy. Your obligation is to

542
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:20.480
make sure that when they say they're going to do something,

543
00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:23.200
they do it. And if they don't, then you have

544
00:31:23.319 --> 00:31:28.079
that serious conversation about is this process working? And am

545
00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:30.119
I the person for you if it's not?

546
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:34.319
And how important? How important is it you talk about

547
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.720
making that plan? How important is it for the individual

548
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:40.640
to make the plan rather than the coach.

549
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:44.319
Absolutely, I can't. I can't tell you what you want?

550
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:47.680
Why why would I want to do that? I can

551
00:31:47.720 --> 00:31:50.640
tell you at some point if what you want has value,

552
00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:53.720
so we can have that discussion. And by the way,

553
00:31:53.799 --> 00:31:56.200
I don't believe the coaching is for the small things.

554
00:31:56.519 --> 00:32:00.480
If all you want someone to make you a better speaker,

555
00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:03.000
well you can find a speaking coach for that. But

556
00:32:03.359 --> 00:32:05.079
that's something that I don't look at as being a

557
00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:07.039
part of what I want to do. I want it

558
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:10.000
to be meaningful for myself. I want to feel some

559
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:14.039
satisfaction out of helping someone along their journey of transformation.

560
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.519
By the way, coaching, to me a leader is about legacy.

561
00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:20.640
You can't just coach for today. You should be coaching

562
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:24.200
for the legacy of this person. This requires that deeper

563
00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:28.799
introspection about who they are and what they're accomplishing, and

564
00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:31.799
that action plan has got to be moving them forward.

565
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:35.480
I find we do an awful lot of naval gazing gazing,

566
00:32:36.519 --> 00:32:39.559
and I don't see it as being beneficial. If you

567
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:43.200
enter into a coaching relationship, you've got to be willing

568
00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:46.039
to do the hard work, but the coach has also

569
00:32:46.119 --> 00:32:48.599
got to be willing to hold you accountable for doing

570
00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:51.599
the hard work. And that dynamic has got to be

571
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:56.160
there in every conversation. You have a conversation where nothing

572
00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:59.319
is happening, where you're not moving forward, where you're not

573
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:01.319
taking an action that's beneficial.

574
00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:03.680
Well, and how often do you find, as you're working

575
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:06.480
with these leaders that you make a suggestion, you tell

576
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:10.880
them the truth, and what's the percentage of them that say, oh,

577
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:13.880
okay versus you know you're full of it?

578
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:18.559
Well, first, eighty percent of the people that are referred

579
00:33:18.599 --> 00:33:21.720
to me don't do business with me. I don't. So

580
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:24.319
I've got a twenty percent of the people who referred

581
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:27.880
become clients. And I'm absolutely okay with that, because it

582
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:30.920
is hard work if you're going to transform people. And

583
00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:33.160
by the way, we've got ourselves caught up and how

584
00:33:33.200 --> 00:33:35.279
easy life is supposed to be. And if I say

585
00:33:35.319 --> 00:33:37.519
I want to do it, then that's like doing it. No,

586
00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.759
this is a hardcore thing. And I use my own

587
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:44.440
example of it took me four years after I had

588
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:47.000
decided that I needed to change to be able to

589
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:51.559
transform where I felt I was different. You said it rewiring.

590
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:54.960
Reframing had to take place, and it takes place slowly.

591
00:33:55.519 --> 00:34:00.559
Both success and failure rewires our brain. And therefore we've

592
00:34:00.599 --> 00:34:02.240
got to be aware of that. We've got to be

593
00:34:02.279 --> 00:34:05.039
able to take action so it doesn't derail us. So

594
00:34:05.480 --> 00:34:08.760
again it's a concept of first you got to feel it.

595
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:11.480
And I know that sounds that sounds like Nave unclazy.

596
00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:14.400
I think that I pretty quickly can find out I've

597
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:17.320
got a pretty good bullshit antenna, and so I can

598
00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:21.400
tell what somebody's prepared to do the hard work. And

599
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:23.760
I don't engage in the relationship until I feel it.

600
00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:26.000
That's certain, and if I don't feel it, I'm not

601
00:34:26.039 --> 00:34:28.599
going to do it. The same thing on the other side,

602
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:31.239
if you're looking for someone who is just going to

603
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:34.639
placate you and support your bad habits, they're all over

604
00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:36.440
the place. You don't need a coach for that. You

605
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:40.559
need to have someone who's serious about your transformation and

606
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:44.599
you have to be serious about it. It's a it's reciprocity.

607
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:47.679
Well, and that's so true. And like I say, I

608
00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:50.039
have one friend that I work with just because he's

609
00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:54.320
my friend, and every time we talk, I'm saying, look,

610
00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:57.280
this could ruin our friendship. Are you okay with that?

611
00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:01.480
It's like, yes, is it okay? So anyway, but you know,

612
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:03.679
you use the word failure, and I think that that's

613
00:35:03.719 --> 00:35:05.920
an area that I'd love to chat about real quick,

614
00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:11.000
because so often we, you know, we fail, and that

615
00:35:11.039 --> 00:35:14.480
brings about a sense of guilt, of shame, of all

616
00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:18.480
those type of things, and you know, and re emphasizes

617
00:35:18.519 --> 00:35:20.920
the imposter syndrome if we happen to have that, which

618
00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:23.719
for the audience means that you never really believe you're

619
00:35:23.719 --> 00:35:26.360
good enough and can be successful, even though it may

620
00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:29.480
appear that you are. So when we talk about failure,

621
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:34.599
how do we reframe that into something that is positive

622
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:38.800
that we can express gratitude for rather than the opposite.

623
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.840
Well, I you know, I I do courses on failure

624
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:47.039
because I tell people I'm a subject matter expert. I

625
00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:50.440
have absolutely failed to the degree that most people fortunately

626
00:35:50.519 --> 00:35:55.199
aren't going to. The recovery process from that is based

627
00:35:55.239 --> 00:36:00.920
on reframing failure as lessons to learn, because every failure

628
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:04.599
truly has a lesson to teach us. First, we have

629
00:36:04.679 --> 00:36:07.079
to accept the responsibility for it. That's one of the

630
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:10.159
big things. And the reason that it's a big thing

631
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:12.559
is most of the time when we fail, we're trying

632
00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:15.199
to escape it. We want to ignore it, we want

633
00:36:15.239 --> 00:36:18.000
to move on from it. We don't want to examine it.

634
00:36:18.360 --> 00:36:20.679
And by the way, I don't believe in embracing failure.

635
00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:23.239
I hate the concept of failure. I hate to fail,

636
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:28.320
but I understand its importance. And so when we understand

637
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.360
the importance and we reframe it as a lesson to learn,

638
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:35.639
we turn it into a positive. You know what Thomas

639
00:36:35.719 --> 00:36:38.639
Edison said, I haven't failed ten thousand times. I've just

640
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:41.679
found nine hundred nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine

641
00:36:41.719 --> 00:36:43.519
ways that it doesn't work.

642
00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:45.519
Does it work? Yeah, you can't.

643
00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:48.519
In Winston church yarll, success is stumbling from failure to

644
00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:53.360
failure and not losing your enthusiasm. That's truly where we're

645
00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:56.559
at with this First, you are going to fail. It

646
00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:59.920
is inevitable. I truly believe it's fifty percenter of our life.

647
00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:02.280
The question is are you going to do something with

648
00:37:02.360 --> 00:37:06.159
the experience. I did something with the experience. I tell

649
00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:09.039
every leader when you fail, it teaches you a couple

650
00:37:09.079 --> 00:37:11.000
of things. First, there is a lesson to laurn, so

651
00:37:11.159 --> 00:37:15.159
you don't do it again. Second, it teaches you humility

652
00:37:15.639 --> 00:37:21.360
and escaping hubris is a great thing for a successful person.

653
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:24.440
Otherwise it will cause you to It will cause you

654
00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:26.639
to fail harder than anything else.

655
00:37:27.079 --> 00:37:29.960
Okay, Yeah, And as you talk about the leaders, let's

656
00:37:29.960 --> 00:37:34.239
talk about individuals. We all experience failures in our lives.

657
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:37.960
And that's kind of the same concept, isn't it That

658
00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:41.880
if we after those failures and can sit back and say, Okay,

659
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:45.039
what am I going to learn from this and do

660
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:48.000
that with a sense of humility and a sense of

661
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:52.639
gratitude and allow the ego to be pushed aside, that

662
00:37:52.920 --> 00:37:56.239
then we start to learn, and therefore we start to

663
00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:57.960
not make those same mistakes.

664
00:37:58.239 --> 00:38:02.519
Well, and you're yes, and believe me when I talk

665
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:06.039
about my failure, not only did I fail as a professional,

666
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:08.199
I fail as a father. I fail as a husband.

667
00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:10.599
I mean, I just failed across There is nothing I

668
00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:14.000
didn't fail at in my life at that point in time.

669
00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:16.440
And yes, you do have to come out of that

670
00:38:16.519 --> 00:38:19.440
and go, okay, how about first, I'd have to be

671
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.800
willing to accept a different perspective, a different point of view,

672
00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:25.800
and I have to make sure that the person my wife,

673
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:31.400
had the psychological safety to do that. So you frame it,

674
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:35.159
You put together a structure that allows those conversations to

675
00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:39.079
take place, because without the feedback from the other people

676
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:42.159
that have been impacted by the failure, you're not going

677
00:38:42.199 --> 00:38:44.079
to be able to do something different, You're not going

678
00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:47.000
to learn the lesson. That feedback is so important, once again,

679
00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:52.199
the gift of truth. So no, it's your ability to say,

680
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:57.400
I accept responsibility for my part in this failure, whether

681
00:38:57.440 --> 00:39:00.920
it be personal or professional, and I am going to

682
00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:04.480
make sure that the people that I have impacted are

683
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:07.280
in the process of allowing me to learn the lesson.

684
00:39:07.639 --> 00:39:10.000
And that's wonderful. And you know what, I think you

685
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:13.079
hit a show on the head that communication to those

686
00:39:13.119 --> 00:39:15.639
that have been affected, the communication of being able to

687
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:19.519
honestly take responsibility and say, hey, you know, if you

688
00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:22.440
happen to have an argument with your spouse or whatever.

689
00:39:22.519 --> 00:39:24.760
It's like, Hey, you know, I learned this and I

690
00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:27.039
thought it was funny because when I was going through

691
00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:30.599
some coaching certifications, one of the comments that was made was,

692
00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:33.239
you know, this is something that if you ever get

693
00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:36.400
in an argument with your with your spouse, you should

694
00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:39.039
be able to say. But don't you dare ever say it,

695
00:39:39.119 --> 00:39:41.079
or you're going to really get in trouble. And that

696
00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:47.000
was honey, what emotion came up in your mind when

697
00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:53.559
this happened. But the point is is that if we

698
00:39:53.639 --> 00:39:56.719
do that for ourselves and say, you know what, I

699
00:39:56.840 --> 00:40:00.000
just got angry, but what caused that emotion to come up?

700
00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:03.000
And me what was that anger emotion and what triggered that?

701
00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:06.960
And if we take responsibility for that and to start

702
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:11.480
to communicate that, all of a sudden, those relationships change

703
00:40:11.880 --> 00:40:14.079
in a very positive way.

704
00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:18.639
Yes, you're yes, they do. And what you just said

705
00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:21.679
is absolutely true. And by the way, once again you

706
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:25.960
mentioned the trigger right. Whenever you overreact to something there's

707
00:40:25.960 --> 00:40:30.320
a reason. Rather than ignore the reason, explore the reason,

708
00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:32.360
find out what it was, and you can do that

709
00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:35.079
through someone else. You say, hey, I know how I

710
00:40:35.320 --> 00:40:40.079
just sounded to you. Tell me, let's discuss that. Let's

711
00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:43.800
have an exchange of why that happened, because I truly

712
00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:45.960
don't want to do it again. You see, we also

713
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:48.880
have to be willing to say I'm trying not to

714
00:40:48.960 --> 00:40:52.000
do this. You know how much graverification you get out

715
00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:54.480
of being angry with someone. You get to turn around

716
00:40:54.519 --> 00:40:56.519
and walk away and you just feel like, oh my god,

717
00:40:57.559 --> 00:40:59.639
that was a good thing. It's not a good thing.

718
00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:02.480
You ruined a relationship, right, And.

719
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:04.320
You know, one of the things that came up in

720
00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:09.159
one of my discussions was, you know how how keia

721
00:41:09.239 --> 00:41:13.760
would be to step outside of yourself and really, now

722
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:17.360
you're getting into that mindfulness, into that consciousness of stepping

723
00:41:17.400 --> 00:41:20.960
outside and said, okay, Doug, you know I'm over here

724
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:24.679
talking to me and saying why why did you get triggered?

725
00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:27.239
Was what was the trigger that did that? And if

726
00:41:27.239 --> 00:41:30.639
you can step outside of yourself without any emotion and

727
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:33.480
start to have that discussion with yourself, all of a sudden,

728
00:41:34.039 --> 00:41:37.679
you start to really gain insights into what's going on.

729
00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:41.760
And I think that's so important. So as we close today,

730
00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:44.760
can you believe that time has already gone by? I'm

731
00:41:44.760 --> 00:41:47.199
sitting here looking to the timer going, Oh, my goodness,

732
00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:50.079
But what would be a message that you'd like to

733
00:41:50.119 --> 00:41:51.079
share with the audience.

734
00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:54.280
Well, I think we've pretty much had the message throughout

735
00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:57.119
this conversation. You've been very good at making sure that

736
00:41:57.199 --> 00:42:02.079
I've been able to deliver my message. You're responsible for yourself.

737
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:05.480
Don't try to give that responsibility to someone else. We

738
00:42:05.559 --> 00:42:08.440
often do that. We want someone else to be responsible

739
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:11.280
for who we are, where we're going, the journey we're on.

740
00:42:11.679 --> 00:42:15.039
Don't do that, And you've mentioned it without saying the words.

741
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:18.840
Become self aware. Take the time to know yourself. This

742
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:21.960
is a difficult journey, but you can do this and

743
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:26.920
find someone that you trust and that cares about you

744
00:42:27.159 --> 00:42:30.000
so that you're able to have discussions like we're having

745
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:34.800
that will give you the information you need to transform.

746
00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:38.760
The concept of transformation is a lifelong journey. It's never

747
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:42.679
over if it's over your dead. So think about the

748
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:46.440
transformation that you want, think about the legacy you want

749
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:51.119
to leave, and start to structure your own path. Someone said,

750
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:54.159
if you think you know the path you're on, you're

751
00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:55.039
on the wrong path.

752
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:59.800
All right, Well that's insightful. Thank you for that. That

753
00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:02.199
was a great message. That is a great message. So

754
00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:06.519
how do people find you? Or maybe once more important,

755
00:43:06.599 --> 00:43:08.760
depending on what you'd like, how do people find your

756
00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:10.920
ted Talk? Which which do you think would be most

757
00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:12.280
important for the audience today?

758
00:43:12.519 --> 00:43:16.639
I would tell you to go to the ted talk seriously.

759
00:43:17.400 --> 00:43:21.559
The TEDx is where my message was given with as

760
00:43:21.639 --> 00:43:25.039
much emotion as I could muster, and it is it

761
00:43:25.159 --> 00:43:29.360
explains everything we talked about in a different perspective. And

762
00:43:29.400 --> 00:43:31.559
by the way, the last, the last remark of my

763
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:34.800
ted talk is if you don't think first. I believe

764
00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:37.039
that if you have a pool, you have to become

765
00:43:37.079 --> 00:43:40.000
a pool, and if you're not willing to do that,

766
00:43:40.119 --> 00:43:43.599
then you don't understand the value of having a fool.

767
00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:47.960
Yes, so yeah, I love that. So what do people

768
00:43:48.039 --> 00:43:50.039
google in order to find your ted Talk?

769
00:43:50.719 --> 00:43:56.360
Ball Glover, ted X and Paul Glover? What Ball Glover

770
00:43:56.679 --> 00:44:00.920
and his and tedxx All Glover will take you right

771
00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:02.199
to it? Great?

772
00:44:02.320 --> 00:44:05.719
All right, well, Paul, thank you. This has been fascinating.

773
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:09.119
Doctor Doug. I so much appreciate top for you to

774
00:44:09.159 --> 00:44:11.280
talk to you. It's been It's been invigorating. I love

775
00:44:11.320 --> 00:44:13.960
the conversation and I love the opportunity to be in

776
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:16.760
front of your audience. Everyone have a blessed day.

777
00:44:17.039 --> 00:44:19.719
Well, and thank you so much, and folks, thank you

778
00:44:19.719 --> 00:44:22.119
for listening. I hope you're getting some insights on this.

779
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:25.360
And like I said, I watched the Ted Talks. It's fascinating,

780
00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:30.079
So get there and watch his TEDx talk because I

781
00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:32.679
think it'll give you some great insights. So anyway, this

782
00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:36.000
is doctor Doug saying thank you so much and no

783
00:44:36.199 --> 00:44:37.880
mistay