June 9, 2026

Wired That Way: Discovering Who You Were Made to Be with Marita Littauer

Wired That Way: Discovering Who You Were Made to Be with Marita Littauer
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Author Marita Littauer joins Dr. Doug to explore why understanding your innate personality — not who you were told to be — transforms your relationships, career, and communication. A quiet, practical conversation about coming home to yourself through 60 years of wisdom. https://thepersonalities.com

Inspire Vision Podcast is broadcast on K4HD Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any

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suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, Welcome.

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To inspire Vision.

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Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others

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and to inspire you.

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To do the same.

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Marita walk in to the show.

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Thank you, Doug. It's a treat to be with you today.

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Oh. I'm really excited.

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You know, this area of personalities has been one of

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my favorite things. I got involved in it years ago

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with my children, and so I think it's going to

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be really fun to talk about this. But what I'd

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like for you to do is kind of share with

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the audience, who you are and what brought you.

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To this point in your life. Talk a little bit

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about the books you've written.

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Sure, my name is Marita Litt Tower, and I'm the

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author of twenty books, and Wired that Way is my

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best selling book, and it's been it's been published for

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twenty years, and for that whole twenty years it has

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remained selling, remained relevant. And about September October of twenty

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twenty five, I realized that twenty twenty six was the

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anniversary year of the publication of my book. And I

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had really not focused on that and hadn't realized that it

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had been so long. And so because of that, I thought, well,

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you know, this is a milestone worthy of celebrating. And

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so I have reached doubt to folks such as yourself

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to be able to talk about my book in hopes

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of giving it perhaps even an enhanced life, as you

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might say, and it's in its senior years, but I

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became go ahead. No, No, I've been involved with this

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topic for nearly sixty years, since I was nine years old.

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My mother first became aware of the general topic of personalities.

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And you mentioned you've been involved in it a long time.

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And you know, it's not a brand new topic for sure.

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In fact, it's more than two thousand years old in

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its origins. As Hippocrates, one of the great Greek thinkers,

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observed that people were different, and understanding that people were different,

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he tried to figure out why, and he concluded, with

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the limited medical and scientific knowledge that was available in

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the day, he concluded that what made people different is

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that they had different fluids in their body. Now, since then,

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we've actually we used to pooh pooh that whole idea,

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but since the DNA discoveries, we've realized he was actually

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probably more right than we ever gave him credit for only,

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rather than bodily fluids, it's DNA. And so my mother

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read a book when I was nine years old written

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by Tim Lahay called The Spirit Controlled Temperament, And as

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she read that book, it was life changing for her.

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Because she and my father have opposite personalities, which is

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very often the case in marriage, and because of their

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opposite personalities and the type of personality they each have,

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my mother was made to feel that who she was

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was wrong. And as she read this book for the

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first time, it opened her eyes to the idea that

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no she was this is who she was made to be,

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and my father began to read the book with her,

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and as is typical of my mother's type of personality,

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she began to talk to everyone around her about this discovery.

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And before long, my parents were having couples in their

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house for really a small group study. And this was

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I'm sixty seven and i was nine years old at

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the time, so this is nearly sixty years ago that

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this happened. This was this epiphany took place for my parents.

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And this was long before there were book clubs and

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study groups and before churches had small groups in people's homes.

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They were really kind of ahead of their times and

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that and one day during the time, my parents were

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leading this group in their home, and you know, they

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didn't really know anything more than reading one chapter ahead

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of the rest of the group. But one night, my

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father had a vision, really and he stayed up, laid

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into the night, and he created this personality profile that

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we now have available. We've been selling this personality profile

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really for almost sixty years. Originally it was typewritten, mimeograph

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and staple together, and obviously it's it's been enhanced over

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the years and we now have an electronic version of

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it as well. But in my mother's heyday, we sold

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hundreds of thousands of these personality profiles a year. I

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still sell thousands of them a month between the paper

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copy and the online version. So I'm very steeped in

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this topic and love to talk about it.

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Well, and you know, what's interesting and then you know,

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my kids started when they were teenagers. That's when we

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got into it. But what's interesting is there's a number

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of different profiles out there, personality profiles, well, assessments, yeah, yes,

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and it all depends.

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You know.

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It's interesting is that, as I've looked at this over

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the years, is fascinating how it can be applied in

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so many different ways. You know, you mentioned the fact

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that a lot of people end up getting attracted and

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marrying a partner who's opposite personality, which initially, you know,

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they're looking for something that they're missing, and then all

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of a sudden, once they've got it, they don't like

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it anymore.

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Yeah, that turns into attack.

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Yeah, because of the lack of communication understanding. But in fact,

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I just I'm just working with the young man right now.

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His grandmother called me and I had done one for

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her years ago, and she says, you know, he's trying

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to figure out what to do with his life.

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And so we're doing that.

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So you get into this whole concept of what for

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the younger people, you know, what direction do you want

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to go?

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I don't know how.

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Many of these young people have gotten into a job

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and after a few years or a number of years,

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they hate it. They hate it and they don't understand

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why or they're not successful in it, and they don't

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understand that that may have something to do with other

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influences in their life and in their personality that they

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don't understand. And so I find it to be fascinating.

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As you've used it, have you found that there's a

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general reason why people reach out to you for those

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personality tests?

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You know, it's interesting. I've got one church in particular,

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just recently that reached out to me and they've been

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buying personality profiles from me for years, and they every

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couple that gets married in their church, they have them

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go through pre marital counseling, and as a part of

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that premaral counseling, they have them take the personality profile.

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And I just had this church just reach out to

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me within the last few weeks and saying, you know,

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not everybody that comes for to get married in our

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church is local, and so we're wondering, do you have

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an electronic version of this that we can have them take,

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And of course I do, so that was I was

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excited to share that with him, But as I talked

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to him, he told me about how how important it

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is that they understand this in marriage, So I mean,

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I certainly know that's one. I've got a medical practice

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in the Dallas, Texas area, and they buy hundreds of

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personality profiles from me, and every new hire takes the

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personality profile and it helps them interact with their staff,

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and so they're used in businesses and churches, in schools.

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I've right now got an email I just sent out

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in response to an inquiry from a junior college in

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California wanting information on bulk purchase. So there's just three

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really different groups that are using this personality profile. But

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it all gets down to the bottom line of relationship

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improvement and self understanding. I probably should have said self

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understanding first and then relationship improvement.

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So I'm curious as you do that, do you do

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you go over that with them, or does the pastor

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if it's in the church, go over it with them,

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or do you just send them a report and they

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kind of go over it themselves.

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How does that work?

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Well?

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I do not I do not do any coaching personality coaching.

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I do have some people that I have trained and

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certified do do personality coaching, some with different emphasis than others.

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So I don't personally interact with the people taking the

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profile much unless they somehow rEFInd me and have a question.

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But the paper version that I'm holding here, and I'm

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sure you've got people who'll be watching and some who

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will be listening to this podcast, but it has some

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supplemental charts and materials with it which were not a

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part of what my father created sixty years ago. As

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I said, it's been enhanced over the years, and the

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paper copy is now a sixteen page full color product,

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and it includes word definitions which are really helpful, and

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charts of strengths and weaknesses and so forth. And on

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the electronic version, those word definitions come right up with

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the words. On the paper version, you're kind of flipped

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back and forth, and it's kind of a little awkward.

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But the online version has that, and then at the end,

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as soon as you finish it, a bar grapht pops

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up with your results, and then it has links for

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more information, and that information takes you to essentially the

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same information that's in the paper copy.

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So is this based you said that your dad kind

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of your father originally actually originated? Is so how close

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is it? How close is it to the disc profile

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or some of these other profiles that are out there?

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The actual test portion and I know we don't like

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to use that word, but the actual test portion is

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I don't think anything like the disc profile. But as

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far as the four basic personality types, there is a

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very obvious overlap. Though my parents originally learned it through

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Tim Lahay's work, and his work used the original Greek

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terms to define the four personality types. And so my

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mother's book, my mother's best selling book is called Personality Plus,

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and she's no longer alive, but Personality Plus has sold

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millions and millions of copies and have been translated into

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I've lost count frankly of how many languages, but more

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than twenty five languages. So it's a book that's used

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around the world. And so her book personality. Plus I'm

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doing this because it's right up there behind me on

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the shelf. But her book uses the Greek words which

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are sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic. So her book uses

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those original Greek words because I grew up with this.

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When my mother would be speaking somewhere and I was

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a young teen, she would take me to her speaking

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engagements with her, and by this time she had quite

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a reputation for this topic and was being invited to

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speak all over and so she would take me with her,

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and I would be in the back of the room

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and I would be selling the little mimiographed staple together

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personality profiles, and I would be selling cassettes because that's

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what it was back in the day, you know, and

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then we evolved to CDs. But I'd be selling the cassettes,

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and as I was in the back of the room,

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I received the questions that people had. And so in

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my book wired that way, I believe I have. I

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believe it's a more thorough book than hers is. Hers

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is sold much better than mine, but she's done a

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lot more speaking on it than I have. But what

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I've tried to do is kind of answer the questions

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that people had. So I've added to those Greek words.

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I use modern day adjectives to go with each Greek word,

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because most people would say, well, you know, it's Greek

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to me, those words don't mean anything to people, and

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so I use popular, sanguine, powerful, choleric, perfect, melancholy, and peaceful, phlegmatic.

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And as you saw in the personality profile that I

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kind of waved around, We've also added colors to it.

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And I tell people, especially when I'm speaking, and perhaps

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people are familiar with disc or perhaps people are familiar

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with Myers Briggs, or perhaps I know. I don't try

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to say, well, this is that those are not valid

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or you know, anything like that. I just say, you

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know what, if you're familiar with a different system, just

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translate as we go along, because this is not about labels.

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It doesn't matter what term, whether you use the color,

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whether you use the Greek word, whether you use the adjective.

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This is about relationships.

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And yeah, let me ask you a question. One of

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the things that attract and I was introduced to it

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by a fellow up in Boise, Idaho, which which was

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amazing to me how he had put this together But

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one of the things that I have noticed, and that's

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probably what initially influenced me, is that you know, we

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have different types of behavior in our lives. We have

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that true innate behavior of who we are, we have

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a social behavior this is who I need to be,

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and then we obviously combine those together and this is

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who I am as we are out in public and

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so forth, or in families. But what I found interesting

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is that many of these tests tend to measure social

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rather than innate. And how did your father and as

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you've worked on this also, how did you work this

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out to where as people read this they recognize that

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it's not as they've answered, because a lot of times

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when they're taking the questions, answering the questions, it can

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come from their social.

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Personality rather than they're innate.

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How have you been able to work that out so

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that what they're getting truly is that true, genuine, innate personality.

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Well, obviously I can't guarantee that for anyone, because as

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you've brought up, it depends on how they answer it.

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But if you read the instructions, and you and I

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both know there are certain personality types that are never

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going to read the instructions. So, for example, I mentioned

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the church group I dealt with just very recently. I

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said to him, Okay, there's a couple things you have

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to emphasize with people. Number one is that got to

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read the directions, and the directions tell you clearly that

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you're to look at what is your most natural self.

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If you and it says clearly in the instructions, if

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you took a class to learn it, or you read

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a book to learn it, that is not your natural personality.

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That maybe how you're functioning today, but that is not

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who you are naturally. And I like to use an

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example for myself. I'm the I'm about fifty to fifty

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combination of the popular segment, which is the fun loving,

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the outgoing, the loud extrovert, and the powerful choleric, which

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is the strong, driven, goal oriented kind of person. I'm

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about fifty to fifty of those two are. Depending on

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what role I'm in, I may appear more one than another,

283
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but I'm about fifty to fifty. I have had people

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tell me that I am the most organized person they

285
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have ever met. And to those people, I say, well,

286
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you have led a very sheltered life then, because I

287
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am not naturally organized, but you know, you expected me

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to be here at a certain time to talk to you,

289
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and that's a part of my life. So I've had

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to learn to show up. Now, I hate to tell

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you I missed an interview earlier today. I totally did

292
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not have it on my calendar, and I totally missed it. Now,

293
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I didn't miss you, but I did miss a different

294
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one today and on Friday. I sadly, and I've been

295
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really good about this with these interviews, but on Friday

296
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I missed another one. Now, fortunately the podcast host missed

297
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it also, so she was not troubled by the fact

298
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that I missed it. But I'm all ready for this

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interview on Friday. I've got my hair done, I've got

300
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on the cute clothes, I got my little lights and

301
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my microphone and the whole thing on, and my phone

302
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rings and I don't normally answer my phone if it's

303
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not a number I recognize, but it's from Florida and

304
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I answered it, and this woman on the line says, Hi,

305
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this is Carol from w whatever whatever. Are you ready

306
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for your interview? And I go ready for my interview,

307
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and I'm thinking I'm having a podcast, and I said,

308
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is this live? And she said, yes, We're on in

309
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three minutes. And I'm like, oh, Drett, you know I've

310
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told I didn't have it on my calendar, and fortunately

311
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I answered the phone. So my point is, can tell

312
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I'm not naturally organized. Yes, I've worked really, really hard

313
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to keep a calendar and keep this stuff. So the

314
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reality is I am pretty organized. But I say, is

315
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it natural to me?

316
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New?

317
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And I don't think that's just something important for people

318
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to understand. Is two things that have come to my

319
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mind that I want to just mention briefly. Is one,

320
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and I appreciate what you talked about about how they

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need to answer those questions from that truly genuine innateness

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of who they are.

323
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And we do encourage them if they're not sure to

324
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check with friends and family.

325
00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:02.559
Yeah, because what happens a lot of times people will

326
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take these tests and so often they will not get

327
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because those instructions aren't.

328
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There or it's not been organized in a way that

329
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that happens, and they end up with a well social personality.

330
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I did this. I'm not going to mention the name

331
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of the.

332
00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:22.079
Gentleman who is extremely popular and uses the disc test.

333
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And as I was doing that, and I love to research,

334
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and so the one that I use is based on

335
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disc but it is really expanded, probably similar to getting

336
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the same type of information you get. And so as

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I've done that, then I said, you know what, I'm

338
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just going to check. So I'm going to take this

339
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test online that it's available for free. I did, and

340
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sure enough, it was my social personality and I knew

341
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how to answer the questions, but it was not my

342
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social personality. And I thought to myself, how many times

343
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are people being misled when they're taking these tests when

344
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they don't really that they need to really really make

345
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sure that what evaluation they're taking, And I prefer evaluation

346
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and tests as they're taking that evaluation, that they make

347
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sure that it's one that is extremely credible. And number two,

348
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they should be looking at responses that come and talk

349
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about that and they personality, that outward personality and ultimately

350
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that conscious personality.

351
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Well that brings me the second thing I wanted to

352
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bring up an answer to your question. The first one

353
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is you have to take it from or naturally, not

354
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something you've learned, not something your boss wanted you to do,

355
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not something your parents wanted you to do, but who

356
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you are naturally. The second thing is, that's why in

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our profile the word definitions are so important and in

358
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the electronic version. In the paper version, you have a

359
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list of words and you check one across each row,

360
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and then you flip back and forth to get the

361
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word definitions. But the word definitions are really essential because

362
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they help you understand that word in its place. And

363
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in the electronic version of our profile, which is four dollars,

364
00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:17.759
not free, close to free, but it's four dollars. And

365
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in the electronic version, the word definitions are right with

366
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the word, so you don't have the technology of the

367
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electronics allows that or the paper version doesn't really allow

368
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that easily, and that helps you put in place. For example,

369
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I'm just grabbing one. I'm just looking at one here,

370
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just at random. This is word choice number thirty seven.

371
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In our profile, there's forty words the top twenty our

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straints in the bottom twenty are weaknesses. So I'm just

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looking at word choice number thirty seven. It says loaner

374
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than the definition is, requires a lot of private time,

375
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and tends to avoid other people, board over others, does

376
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and hesitate to let others know that he or she

377
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is right or is in control. Lazy evaluates work or

378
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activity in terms of how much energy it will take.

379
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The fourth one is loud has a laugh or voice

380
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:15.839
that can be heard above others in the room. Well,

381
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and that's you can see how those word definitions really

382
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help you select the correct word. And I just picked

383
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one at random there.

384
00:21:24.039 --> 00:21:25.039
Yeah, but that's great.

385
00:21:25.079 --> 00:21:29.319
Now, let's get off of that topic because let's talk

386
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:33.880
about talk Oh, I know, let's talk about the value

387
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of personalities. So let's start out with let's start out

388
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with I want to start out with the young people,

389
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because there's you know, that seems to be more of

390
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a focus that has come wrong. How does a personality

391
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evaluation like that help a young person from the standpoint

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of number one, choosing the direction of their life as

393
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far as the profession goes.

394
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Number two, choosing someone.

395
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Who would become ultimately a partner, spouse type of thing.

396
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:10.799
I think those number three even choosing the friends that

397
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you hang around with, that you surround yourself with. So

398
00:22:14.279 --> 00:22:17.799
those are three things for a young person, an ager

399
00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:21.880
that's getting into their twenties. What do you see the

400
00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:24.559
value of a personality test does for them?

401
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:28.839
Well, as you mentioned, it's essential in helping you in

402
00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:32.880
a career path, because while we may be able to

403
00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:36.319
do a task, it's not something that's an eighty natural

404
00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:39.440
to us. We can learn it as intelligent human beings.

405
00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:42.720
We can learn it that we're always going to be

406
00:22:42.799 --> 00:22:47.200
happier and more comfortable and more energized in work that

407
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:52.079
is natural for us, that is easy for us. For example,

408
00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:54.720
this is a silly thing. But just today a girlfriend

409
00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:56.839
came over and I said, and we went outside and

410
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had a glass of wine and I said, oh, I'm

411
00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:00.160
so glad you're here. I said, I have been. I

412
00:23:00.519 --> 00:23:04.599
feel exhausted. I said, I've been working all afternoon in

413
00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:08.119
an area that is not my strength. And she said money.

414
00:23:08.519 --> 00:23:11.559
I said, yes, money. And my husband is a CPA

415
00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:14.680
and he tells me dates, times and numbers are not

416
00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:17.200
my friends. And it was a silly thing. I was

417
00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:19.759
trying to work out what someone was going to charge

418
00:23:19.799 --> 00:23:22.680
to bartend at an event that I'm in charge of,

419
00:23:22.759 --> 00:23:25.960
and and it was it was just outside of you know,

420
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.680
it's just hard for me. And yes, I figured it out.

421
00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:30.759
I added it all up and I made I made

422
00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:33.799
a decision based on it. But it was something that

423
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:36.519
isn't natural for me, and as a result, I just

424
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:42.240
felt exhausted from this little exercise. I mean, I can

425
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:44.519
I can balance the check withok boll. I mean I

426
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:47.319
haven't done that in years, but I did learn back

427
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:50.720
in the day. I haven't balanced checkbook ages. But you know,

428
00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:53.759
I can learn to do money. I can learn to

429
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:57.519
be organized. I can learn these things, and you need

430
00:23:57.559 --> 00:24:00.759
those skills in life. They're important skills. But if I

431
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:03.160
was in a job like that, I mean, my husband,

432
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:08.160
who's a CPA, which suits his personality perfectly. He's the peaceful, phlegmatic,

433
00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:11.640
the low key background kind of person, and he's the

434
00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:15.240
perfect melancholy, which is the numbers person. And in his

435
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:19.079
practice he never sees the customers. The guy that he

436
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:23.240
works with sees the customers. And my husband does the work.

437
00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:26.480
He sits in a windowless office on the computer every day.

438
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:31.000
Would make me absolutely crazy, man, but he's it's what

439
00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:33.960
I can't say he loves it, but it's what he

440
00:24:34.039 --> 00:24:35.400
naturally does well.

441
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:37.319
And you know what's interesting is I was getting my

442
00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:41.759
certification in behavioral analysis. One of the case studies that

443
00:24:41.799 --> 00:24:46.359
I found fascinating was that a company had literally interviewed

444
00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:50.839
and hired two individuals for sales, and as they did that,

445
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:54.240
they found that one person over, you know, after a

446
00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:57.319
year or so, one person was just killing it and

447
00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:02.960
the other person was just bailing desperately. And they finally said, okay,

448
00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:04.559
we've got to figure this out. So they brought in

449
00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:07.720
the tests, you know, they run in the analysis, and it

450
00:25:07.799 --> 00:25:11.720
turns out that although they had similar personalities from the

451
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:15.359
standpoint of left brain, right brain, extrovert introvert type of thing,

452
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:19.440
there was a motivation. There was a motivator within the

453
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:23.319
one that their focus was economic. There was the other

454
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:27.839
one whose focus was arts. So it goes beyond just

455
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:31.680
that initial personality of what, you know, what's your way

456
00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:34.759
of thinking and so forth? Is that motivation too? And

457
00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:37.240
so the one that was in there with a focus

458
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:41.279
on arts wasn't being successful because his motivation wasn't economics.

459
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:44.960
And that fascinated me to realize that, you know what,

460
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:48.119
we need to go so far beyond. And I can't

461
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.240
tell you how many times I hear people talk about

462
00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:52.880
the fact that they hate their job. They hate their job,

463
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:57.519
and yet had they done this at a young age,

464
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:01.160
it would have given them such a wonderful full different

465
00:26:01.240 --> 00:26:04.640
direction as far as you know, and there's a number

466
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:07.759
of different you know, for your husband, there was a

467
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:10.319
number of things based on that personality that he could

468
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:14.599
have done. He chose to become what he did. My son,

469
00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:18.440
one of my son number three, went to school to

470
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:22.079
become a CPA. He went to school, he did evaluation

471
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:24.480
in California for you know, the summer he did that

472
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:28.359
whole internship and he came back and he's going, Dad,

473
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:32.799
I hate it, and yeah, and we looked at his

474
00:26:32.920 --> 00:26:37.880
personality evil and I'm going, so, what does this tell you?

475
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:42.799
You have no no reading on that personality that would

476
00:26:42.839 --> 00:26:45.599
want you to be a CPA. So he went into sales,

477
00:26:45.799 --> 00:26:50.880
extremely successful, and so it was just it was fascinating

478
00:26:50.920 --> 00:26:53.839
to me to see how that happened. So for young people,

479
00:26:54.119 --> 00:26:57.000
number one, you know, if you're going to choose a career,

480
00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:00.240
for heaven's sake, get want to get a personality you've

481
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:04.359
al done so that you really can understand the direction

482
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:05.759
that you want to go.

483
00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:09.279
Number two, as you're choosing a partner.

484
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:12.240
But how does that help, because you know, you talked

485
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:16.359
about we tend to choose the oppices though, guess what

486
00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:19.599
we sometimes choose similar.

487
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:22.440
And that creates as many problems as it doesn't create

488
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:24.240
it does.

489
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:26.799
And I'll tell you as I speak on this topic,

490
00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:29.799
which I've done all over the country, and I normally

491
00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:32.720
am speaking to women's groups, so people who come up

492
00:27:32.759 --> 00:27:34.839
and talk to me are going to be women. And

493
00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:37.000
the women will come up to me and they'll say,

494
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:39.440
you know, I've listened to everything you've said, and I

495
00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:42.759
know you said you usually marry someone who's opposite from us,

496
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.720
but they'll say, I really think my husband and I

497
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:49.440
are the same personality or you know, pretty close. And

498
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.319
I'll say, well, is this a second or third marriage

499
00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:57.279
for either one of you? And almost always it is yes.

500
00:27:57.880 --> 00:27:59.960
And the reason for that is, I think is fairly

501
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:02.839
obvious because you're as tuned into this as I am.

502
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:06.400
But for our listeners that I usually the reason you're

503
00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:08.279
in a second or a third marriage is because the

504
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:11.079
first or second one didn't work. Occasionally it's it is

505
00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:14.079
due to death, but more often than not, it's because

506
00:28:14.119 --> 00:28:16.680
the first one didn't work. And the first one you

507
00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:19.440
usually married someone who was opposite from you, because that's

508
00:28:19.480 --> 00:28:24.160
what we naturally do. And then because that one didn't work,

509
00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:26.599
you make one of two choices but the result is

510
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:29.279
the same. You either say he was like this, and

511
00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:32.119
so I don't want to marry anyone like that, and

512
00:28:32.200 --> 00:28:35.359
so you go seek someone who's opposite, or you say

513
00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:38.079
he was so opposite for me it didn't work, so

514
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:41.480
I'm going to seek someone who's more like me, And

515
00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:44.880
so the end result really comes out to be the same.

516
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:48.680
But if you do that, when you have a couple

517
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.200
where each are really fairly close, they really honestly have

518
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:56.839
to hire out. Perhaps they're accounting, or perhaps their house

519
00:28:56.920 --> 00:29:00.599
cleaning or you know, things like that, they have to

520
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:03.000
hire out because between the two of them, they don't

521
00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:06.000
naturally have that skill set well.

522
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:09.279
And you know what's interesting about that, and I have

523
00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:13.640
signs that have done both. What's interesting about that is,

524
00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:17.000
in my mind, it doesn't make a difference. It really

525
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.480
doesn't make a difference whether you choose someone opposite or

526
00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:24.160
someone similar. What makes a difference is recognizing what that

527
00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:28.720
is and then learning how to communicate. So as you

528
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:33.039
talk about these different personalities, how and the evaluations that

529
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:38.079
come out, how does how does the communication come into effect?

530
00:29:38.279 --> 00:29:42.960
And what do these evaluations help someone to understand relative

531
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:48.799
to improving a communication with their partner with their spouse,

532
00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:52.599
or even in a job in the workplace.

533
00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:55.839
Well, this is a multi layered question you've given me.

534
00:29:56.200 --> 00:29:56.960
I do that.

535
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:01.680
We could talk all night, and I love that. But

536
00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:05.319
you know, talking about communication, I just have a perfect,

537
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:08.279
wonderful example from my own marriage. And I am in

538
00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:11.240
a second marriage. And despite the fact that I mentally

539
00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:13.599
decided I was going to not marry someone who is

540
00:30:13.640 --> 00:30:17.200
opposite for me, both times, actually I married a melancholy

541
00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:20.359
Both times I married someone who's opposite for me. Because

542
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:23.759
while I mentally set out in a certain direction, you know,

543
00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:27.279
our hearts do what our hearts want to do, regardless

544
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:30.559
of what we think we're in control of. And both

545
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:33.200
times I fell in love with someone who's a perfect

546
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:37.039
melancholy personality. So but my husband, as I said, he's

547
00:30:37.079 --> 00:30:41.200
about fifty percent the peaceful, phlegmatic and about fifty percent

548
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:45.720
the perfect melancholy. And on that chart that those those

549
00:30:45.960 --> 00:30:49.359
are the bottom colors, the green and the blue, and

550
00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:52.440
they're on the bottom because and they're also you'll notice

551
00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:57.839
colors because these two are the introverts. These two are

552
00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:01.200
the low key personalities. The two on the top you'll

553
00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:05.559
notice they are hot colors because these two are the

554
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:10.119
high strung, extrovert kind of personalities. But my husband is

555
00:31:10.119 --> 00:31:14.119
a peaceful, phlegmatic and as such, talking about communication, that

556
00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:17.759
personality type doesn't like to feel cornered. And so I

557
00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:20.920
have learned, as silly as as it is, my husband

558
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:22.920
can be in the next room and I will send

559
00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:26.920
him a text because by sending him a text, it

560
00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:31.440
allows him time to think about it and respond without

561
00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:36.559
feeling cornered, without feeling like I'm pressuring him. And it's

562
00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:42.160
it's a silly communication cue, but it really makes a

563
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:45.720
difference for him. Likewise, I have to learn when I

564
00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:48.319
when I do ask him something like I'll ask him

565
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.640
this is silly too, But a lot of this seems

566
00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:54.839
silly on the surface, but the understanding is what makes

567
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:57.839
the difference. I will ask him on the way to church,

568
00:31:58.359 --> 00:32:01.240
what would you like for dinner tonight, because of course

569
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:04.079
I'm thinking about I've got to make dinner tonight. I'm

570
00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:07.720
kind of calculating my plans for the day, and it

571
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:10.640
may include, as it does every other Sunday in my life,

572
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:13.519
that I'm going to play dominoes with my girlfriends, and

573
00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:15.920
I need on that day, I need to put dinner

574
00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:18.279
in the crock pot, so it's ready when I get home.

575
00:32:18.559 --> 00:32:20.400
So on the way to church, I want to know

576
00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:23.799
what would you like for dinner tonight? And he'll say,

577
00:32:24.279 --> 00:32:26.839
I haven't given dinner a thought, you know, And so

578
00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:29.200
he doesn't have a response for me. And if I

579
00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:33.359
don't understand his personality, I'm going to get frustrated with him,

580
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:36.000
And instead I kind of chuckle like, well, I just

581
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:38.880
thought i'd see if you had anything you'd been craving lately,

582
00:32:39.039 --> 00:32:44.240
or you know whatever. And so, really understanding your partner's

583
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:48.200
personality or your cowork or whatever it is allows you

584
00:32:48.759 --> 00:32:53.640
to adjust your expectations of them. As you review the

585
00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:58.279
strengths and the weaknesses that are natural to that person's personality,

586
00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:03.839
you then adjust expectations of them, and you can adjust

587
00:33:03.880 --> 00:33:08.039
your communication accordingly. And now I'm sorry I gave you

588
00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:10.000
such a long answer. I forgot what the second part

589
00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:11.759
of what you ask I said.

590
00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:17.640
But that's that's because you're that uh, that red. You

591
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:18.720
hear that red.

592
00:33:20.119 --> 00:33:20.599
Exactly.

593
00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:24.279
So so let me let me talk about something else

594
00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:27.200
for a minute. You know, as we talk about this,

595
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.480
every time you're looking to date someone, you can't send

596
00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:33.160
them over and say all right, I want you to

597
00:33:33.160 --> 00:33:38.039
take this personality test. But ultimately, as you start to

598
00:33:38.759 --> 00:33:40.799
find that there's if you can get rid of the

599
00:33:40.839 --> 00:33:42.640
red flags and you find that you know, there seems

600
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:46.319
to be a really compatibility there being there at what

601
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:51.960
point in time, then you can then bring these elements

602
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.920
into your relationship because I think, you know, it's interesting

603
00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:59.519
how one person will go such yourself, oh I love this,

604
00:34:00.039 --> 00:34:02.119
and another person will go, oh, that's a bunch of

605
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:05.680
you know, and I think, to me, that's a red

606
00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:09.039
flag right there, because for relationships, it seems to me

607
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:11.400
that you need to have someone that will go, okay,

608
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:13.840
you know what. Let's even though they may be opposite,

609
00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:16.440
let's look at this and let's see how do we

610
00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:21.760
develop our relationship to where we really understand, we respect,

611
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:25.559
we honor the other person's personality and the way that

612
00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:30.159
they communicate. And there's that other question is the communication.

613
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:33.119
Let's let's talk about that because you know, you get that.

614
00:34:33.800 --> 00:34:36.840
And I can't use your words because I don't understand

615
00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:37.920
the great words.

616
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:40.400
So let's use whatever words you want.

617
00:34:40.599 --> 00:34:42.679
You get that, right, you know you get that. D

618
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:45.079
I happen to be a DC.

619
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:50.679
Okay, So so my kids learned very quickly, and I

620
00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:55.000
had to literally understand that that give me some feedback, Say, Dad,

621
00:34:55.039 --> 00:34:57.800
do you come across so harsh sometimes? And I had

622
00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:01.480
to learn because most of my kids, it's one is

623
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:03.320
more on the day side, but the rest of them

624
00:35:03.320 --> 00:35:06.239
are over on the other side. And I realized I

625
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:09.599
needed to change the way that I communicated with them

626
00:35:10.199 --> 00:35:13.360
because what was important is how they want to be

627
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:17.280
communicated with. And you kind of mentioned this with your husband, Yeah,

628
00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:20.119
versus you know, make communicating with them the way I

629
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:23.719
want to And so it goes to that whole point.

630
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:24.800
Of their strengths.

631
00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:28.960
And then what I see is if it becomes overboard,

632
00:35:29.079 --> 00:35:31.000
it now becomes a weakness.

633
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:35.280
It does, and that's one of the principles we address specifically.

634
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:39.119
But what I want to specifically say now, except for

635
00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:42.760
I've just lost that I wanted to talk about communication.

636
00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:46.480
I had a very specific thing I want to tell you,

637
00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:49.840
and it was brilliant. I'm going to go, I may

638
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:52.239
this may be what I what you were asking, or

639
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:53.800
it may not be all want to hear. It just

640
00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:56.440
landed back in my brain. You pointed out that you

641
00:35:56.719 --> 00:36:00.639
change your communication style to communicate with your chill would

642
00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:04.119
do the same thing with a coworker or whatever. And

643
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:08.320
the key feature to that is have to care enough

644
00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:13.480
about that relationship to step outside of you are naturally

645
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:17.880
focus on who they are and then adjust your approach

646
00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:21.960
to them. And that takes maturity and it takes caring.

647
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:24.320
If you order a hamburger from a kid at the

648
00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:28.599
fast food restaurant, you don't care enough about that relationship

649
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:33.320
to put that kind of effort into your communication. But

650
00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:37.320
in your family and in your co workers do or

651
00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:41.239
hopefully do care enough about that relationship. But that care

652
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:45.360
is a really central feature that a lot of people

653
00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:50.440
cannot get. They're so focused on what I want and

654
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:54.039
who I am and what I need that they can't

655
00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:58.280
step outside of who they are to figure out what

656
00:36:58.360 --> 00:37:01.119
those other people need and want to mention another thing

657
00:37:01.400 --> 00:37:04.000
you brought up about when in the relationship, can you

658
00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:07.400
discuss this, Well, it may be you may already be

659
00:37:07.480 --> 00:37:09.960
married to that person and you may want or maybe

660
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:12.599
they're working with you and you're having a tough time

661
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:14.440
at the moment with that person and you want to

662
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:17.039
go up to them and say, excuse me, I'm having

663
00:37:17.079 --> 00:37:20.039
a tough time with you. Could you take this personality profile,

664
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:23.079
chances are that's not going to go over well. But

665
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:25.719
I find and I have a chapter in my book

666
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:29.039
on this, that if you know what to look for,

667
00:37:29.079 --> 00:37:32.639
and I call this the visual clues, and the visual

668
00:37:32.679 --> 00:37:37.760
clues include clothing, they include voice, they include body language,

669
00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:41.360
they include personal space, how they keep their desks or

670
00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:46.280
their car. And because I find that often people and

671
00:37:46.760 --> 00:37:50.679
we touched on this earlier, but often people have what

672
00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:53.679
their parents wanted them to be. They have what their

673
00:37:53.719 --> 00:37:56.679
teachers wanted them to be, they have what their bosses

674
00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:59.639
wanted them to be, they have what their spouse wants

675
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:02.119
them to be. And I find that often by the

676
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:04.679
time you get into a workplace you get someone who's

677
00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:08.480
forty or fifty years old, they often have no idea

678
00:38:09.079 --> 00:38:13.559
they are because they've had so much input into them

679
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:16.840
that they're really and honestly a lot of people at

680
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:19.400
this point in life have what we used to kind

681
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:22.519
of call a mental breakdown. They kind of short circuit

682
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:26.960
because they're so confused. But if you know what to

683
00:38:27.079 --> 00:38:30.360
look for in a person, that body language, that voice,

684
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:34.079
that clothing, that personal space, I find that you can

685
00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:40.440
almost more accurately identify someone's personality type by observing those

686
00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:43.880
visual clues than having them take the profiles. You asked

687
00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:45.840
me in the beginning, you know, how do you get

688
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:49.199
that real result? And we answered that, But there are

689
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:52.480
some people who they just can't even go there because

690
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.440
they don't really know that. And the example I use

691
00:38:55.440 --> 00:38:57.920
when I'm speaking on that is if there's a few

692
00:38:57.960 --> 00:39:00.920
people gathered around the water cooler life, let's just say,

693
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:03.960
and one person says to the other, oh, you are

694
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:08.079
so put in whatever adjective you want, and that person says,

695
00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:12.639
I am not, and everybody around goes, oh, yes, you are.

696
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:16.840
And when i'd use that example in a speech, everybody

697
00:39:16.880 --> 00:39:20.440
in the audience nods. They all have seen that, whether

698
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:23.800
it's personal or they've observed it, so they get that

699
00:39:23.800 --> 00:39:27.000
that not everybody is really clear. By the time we

700
00:39:27.039 --> 00:39:29.679
get to be the adults that we're talking to, not

701
00:39:29.800 --> 00:39:33.639
everybody is really clear on who they are, but the

702
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:36.000
visual clues will give them away.

703
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:38.920
So and we don't have a lot of time, but

704
00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:43.320
real quick, what are some of the visions and let's

705
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.920
for people to understand this. Let's go with the you know,

706
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:49.559
the disc or however you want to do that, because

707
00:39:49.559 --> 00:39:51.519
those other words are difficult, like I said for me,

708
00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:56.199
But so the the extrovert right brain, the extrovert left brain,

709
00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:56.760
and so forth.

710
00:39:57.159 --> 00:39:59.760
What are some very quick clues. How do you know

711
00:39:59.800 --> 00:40:00.800
if someone is.

712
00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:04.719
An extrovert left brain, which is a strong personality.

713
00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:06.440
Well, that's going to be the person who is the

714
00:40:06.519 --> 00:40:10.000
natural boss of life. But the visual clues are going

715
00:40:10.079 --> 00:40:13.159
to be their body language. First off, when they walk

716
00:40:13.239 --> 00:40:18.679
into a room, they're very heavy footed. They're someone who

717
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:23.000
you know, for my personality, which is the other outgoing one,

718
00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:25.400
I will often go from point A to point B,

719
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:28.400
and if I ran into any people along the way,

720
00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:30.480
I get to point B and I'm like, why am

721
00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:32.880
I here? What did I come here for? And I

722
00:40:33.239 --> 00:40:36.199
was distracted by those other people? And I forget what

723
00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:40.360
I call the red or the powerful choleric personality. They don't.

724
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:42.440
They're not like that. First off, when they go from

725
00:40:42.480 --> 00:40:44.199
point A to point B, they're not going to stop

726
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:46.440
and talk to people along the way because they're very

727
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:50.679
focused and so they have an intensity about them that

728
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:53.320
can be almost frightening to some people to.

729
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:56.559
Know we're going to go faster. So let's go over.

730
00:40:56.760 --> 00:40:58.840
Let's go over to who you are. So, because you're

731
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:00.480
a right extravert.

732
00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:03.920
For the yellow. Yellow is the loud voice, a lot

733
00:41:03.960 --> 00:41:07.960
of hand movement typically in women, flashier kind of clothes

734
00:41:08.039 --> 00:41:12.159
that's not a man's option, and a cluttered personal workspace.

735
00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:14.400
We're not naturally okay.

736
00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:16.079
So now let's go down to.

737
00:41:16.199 --> 00:41:18.400
The way the blue one, which is what I call

738
00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:22.320
the perfect melancholy, which is the perfectionist. They're going to

739
00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:28.000
wear more solid colors or classic styles. They don't use

740
00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:31.000
hand gestures much at all, and if they do, they're

741
00:41:31.079 --> 00:41:34.840
very small, precise and close to the body, and their

742
00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:37.400
personal space is always neat and tidy, and at the

743
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:40.360
end of the day they put everything away where it belongs.

744
00:41:40.639 --> 00:41:42.000
Okay, and then let's move over.

745
00:41:42.599 --> 00:41:44.760
Okay. The green is the peaceful, what I call the

746
00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:48.760
peaceful phlegmatic, and that person is going to clothing wise,

747
00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:54.239
were the most comfortable clothing that is appropriate for that occasion,

748
00:41:54.639 --> 00:41:58.000
and that'll vary depending on where they are, but comfort

749
00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:03.639
is a key factor to peaceful phlegmatic personality. They're going

750
00:42:03.679 --> 00:42:06.840
to remain in the background, being a little bit more timid.

751
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:09.239
They're not going to charge in like a bull in

752
00:42:09.320 --> 00:42:12.079
a china shop. They're the more reticent and they're the

753
00:42:12.079 --> 00:42:14.159
ones who if you say, would you like coffee or tea?

754
00:42:14.199 --> 00:42:16.400
They're going to say, I don't care, it doesn't matter

755
00:42:16.440 --> 00:42:17.480
whichever's easiest.

756
00:42:18.239 --> 00:42:21.400
Fantastic, you know, And it's so fascinating as you're in

757
00:42:21.400 --> 00:42:25.280
a group that you can identify that. And yet I

758
00:42:25.320 --> 00:42:28.599
think it's important for people to understand and you may,

759
00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:32.239
and you made this point much earlier, that you don't

760
00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:37.239
have to be stuck in that particular profile of personality

761
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:41.920
because you can always choose, based on circumstances, to move

762
00:42:41.960 --> 00:42:45.119
in another direction. And that has part to do with communication.

763
00:42:45.320 --> 00:42:48.320
So as you and I are communicating, you know, you're

764
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:51.519
on that left right brain side, I'm on that left

765
00:42:51.559 --> 00:42:56.320
brain side, and so we can learn to communicate in

766
00:42:56.360 --> 00:42:59.920
a way that works for both of us rather than not.

767
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:04.360
So as we close, what would be kind of a

768
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:07.119
final message that you'd like to share with the audience?

769
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:09.760
And yeah, a short one, okay.

770
00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:12.599
I like to base my entire teaching on this on

771
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:16.320
a specific Bible verse, which is Romans twelve eighteen, and

772
00:43:16.360 --> 00:43:20.559
it says, if possible, so far as it depends on you,

773
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:23.800
be at peace with all men. And I believe in

774
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:26.400
that verse it's telling us if possible, It's like I

775
00:43:26.440 --> 00:43:28.280
know you can't do this, but it's a goal. It's

776
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:31.000
something you should strive for, so far as it depends

777
00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:33.599
on you be at peace with all men. If it

778
00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:36.239
just said be at peace with all men, that's not

779
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:39.360
that's not something we can achieve because we can only

780
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:44.199
control ourselves. So this is a tool that allows us to,

781
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:47.119
as far as it depends on us, be at peace

782
00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:47.719
with all men.

783
00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:51.840
Wonderful. I love that, and thank you so much, Marita.

784
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:56.079
This has been a fascinating, fascinating topic, and it's one

785
00:43:56.159 --> 00:43:58.159
that we could go on for hours.

786
00:43:58.199 --> 00:44:01.079
I promise here we could go on for hours, and

787
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:03.880
I would just say to the audience, you know, we

788
00:44:03.960 --> 00:44:06.159
got into all sorts of talks, and because I have

789
00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:08.760
an analytical mind, we probably didn't get into some of

790
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:11.199
it that they would like to hear. But the point

791
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:14.039
is number one, go get this book. They can find

792
00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:15.920
it on Amazon, I would assume.

793
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:18.960
Yes, of course. And if Amazon are Kindle unlimited members

794
00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:19.760
can get it free.

795
00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:22.400
Oh great, And again, what's the name of the book.

796
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:27.480
It's Wired that way. Okay, it's wired that way, Marita

797
00:44:27.519 --> 00:44:31.320
lit Tower, and it's available on Amazon. Kindle unlimited members

798
00:44:31.320 --> 00:44:32.119
can get it free.

799
00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:35.559
Perfect well, folks, thanks so much for listening. I hope

800
00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:38.760
you've really enjoyed this. And Marita again, thank you so

801
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:42.199
much for your insights. I love it so anyway, this

802
00:44:42.280 --> 00:44:45.000
is doctor Doug saying Domas Day.