The Life and Work You Were Born to Do

0:01 This program is designed to provide general information with regards to the subject matters covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services. Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

0:44 Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Vance Welcome to the show. Thank you for handing me. Hey, I'm excited to have you here. I think this will be an interest conversation. I know that you're very focused on business, and that's your main approach, and yet what I have found so often is the two intermingle, business and personal intermingle. I'd love for you to kind of share your background, who you are and a little bit about that. So my name is doctor Vani's Cooper, born and raised in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'm a leadership development consulting My background is primarily from healthcare. I've been in the healthcare industry for about fifteen years. My experience in healthcare has them from long term care services, also in patient mental health services, so I've worked on psyching in it for the last ten years as well.

1:45 And outside of my healthcare work. I do leadership development workshops and trainings and seminars. My goal is to help people individuals unlock unrealized leadership, pertain, joke within themselves in an authentic way. So that's just a little bit about me and some of the things that that I have going on it and what I do. Okay, So as you talk about health care and are are you as psych psch. No, So I'm actually so. My my PhD in corporate leadership, So my PhD is actually not in healthcare. So my my responsibilities so I do admissions and business development. So a lot of my experience has been an intake as an admissions director for long term care facilities, so admitting patients, you're viewing, clinical making sure that the insurances are network, making sure everything is lined up for the for the patients, to screening patients coming from so the hospital, I work for it.

2:54 As we have an older adult and adult behavioral health. We take voluntary involuntary admissions as well. If you can imagine it, I've seen it when it comes to emitting. Patients and so yeah, so we do, so I do. I'm responsible for managing our admissions process, making sure that the patients meet criteria, verify, I know, the insurances, making sure everybody's authorized, and then also making sure that the community is aware of our behavioral health services. So that's really my response to my what my healthcare career looks like. I imagine though, that you lean a lot of information because you're not.

3:35 Just absolutely absolutely it's it's been as I always joke around with a lot of my friends and say that mental health is one of those medical specialties where you can see you see so many unique cases where there's truly one of one, like you'll see the case one time, you'll never see anything like. It ever again. Well, and you know, one of the things you comment about in your in your bio that you shad to me is and let me see if I can read it here because I like it. You're helping them unlock their unrealized leadership potential within themselves without compromising authenticity. And when I read that, what really hit me is so often, and I've seen this in reality here. So often we have someone who is an individual, and yet when they get into a business situation, a leadership situation, all of a sudden, they become a different person. And I've observed that very personally with people that either I've known or one of my brothers has known. My brother's saying, oh, they are so wonderful, they're so kind, they have this great sense of humor, and all of a sudden you watch them talk and their background as a lawyer, and all of a sudden, they are just stern and they're talking and you don't see any of that real personality.

4:55 And you find that that's the case with people, not only in leadership and business, but in general. No very much. So, I am a firm believer that you should never be compromising who you are. I think that there are definitely situations where you're natural wiring. I mean, we all have an unnatural way that we're wired and uniquely wired and so I do think that there are going to be situations and circumstances where you have to adapt to your environment, which is that's perfectly normal. But whenever you find yourself in a situation where you have to adapt for too long, it's almost always going to become overwhelming.

5:37 For some people it might take a year, some people it might take you know, a couple of minutes, a couple of hour, ten years, but at some point it's going to become a little overwhelming and you're going to start overcompensating. Well. And how often do you see someone living in life that's not really there? They're they're living in life the society says they need to be or all of the other or backgrounds that It can be family, it can be religion, it can be all those types of things. School, this is who you should be. And you see people living a life that is not really theirs. No, all the time, I mean all the time. You see people where. People have a tendency to do the things that they think they can get or that they know that they can get. So if they see somebody else achieving or working on in a specific area, they say, hey, this person has success.

6:30 I want to do that, and so they try to do it. And just because it's worked for somebody doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to work for you. Because everybody's unique. We all have our own special talents, and that just might not be your talent. You might be adapted to a situation where it's not. You're not operating in your natural gifts. So it's dependent upon ourselves and it's our responsibilities to really be able to figure out what our leadership gift is so that we're not focused on trying to chase somebody else's gift or somebody else's dream. And when someone is just really living someone else's life or what they think they should be, how often do you see that or have you observed that that can create some psychological as well as emotional issues for them where they're they're experiencing depression and they don't know why are those type of things? Have you observed that at all?

7:31 Absolutely? I see it all the time, especially working in the mental health space, though of course I do want to disclaim I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychiatrist, But being that I work with these professionals on a day to day basis and I'm around so many patients that are dealing with challenges. You see it all the time where people have it could be something that it could be a various experience that they've had. Sometimes it could be something that they might have seen their friends do. Something they might have seen their you know, family member, they might have seen them have some success in and the minute they can't figure out who they are, what their purpose is, and it really can have it really can weigh down on a person. And sometimes when you don't when you have it going through that self discovery process as I like to call it, because that's really what leadership is, as a self discovery process. If you haven't done that, it really can put you in a situation where you really don't know what you're supposed to be doing. And when you when you don't really have a purpose, when you think that life or what you're going through, you know, you're feeling worthless or you're feeling helpless.

8:46 It can lead to depression, It can lead to anxiety, it can lead to other physical health conditions that really have a detrimental effect. On you well. And you know, I've really been focusing on the sole concept a bit. In fact, I'm starting a whole new little program for social media called doctor Doug reflects a quiet Return. And the whole point is that so often we don't realize who we are. I mean, you know, you can even get in the theologically a little bit about that, but who we are has been so hidden from us, I think in many cases to the point that we have the guilt, we have the shame, we have all of that and don't recognize who we are.

9:29 How do you help someone in leadership? But also, as I say, because I used to do some small business consulting, there's no question that helping someone in a leadership situation helps them in their own life, also in a personal situation. And how do you help someone in your experience to discover who they really are and recognize that divinity within them, the goodness within them, the fact that yes, they are good, good individuals. Well, I think that it all starts with that vision, that big, big vision. And I think that quite frankly, most people never really sit down and take the time to really figure out what that big vision that they have for their lives is. And so when you don't have that vision, and when we're saying vision, when I talk about sight. We're talking about that that big vision, that that thing that you can't really see, that thing that you're supposed to do, that that that purpose.

10:31 And so if you don't. Have a big vision that you're that you're working towards, it really it's almost like you're moving through life focus on what you think you can get or what you know you can get. It's there's there's no there's no real purpose, there's no real meaning, and so you really want to be able to find figure out what that deeper meaning is and what that big vision is for your life, because, like you said, everybody a vision was instilled in every single person on this planet. And usually it'll take some sort of either some experience, some sort of outside catalyst to really kind of be able to bring that out, bring that vision out of us. But the key is to, by any means necessary, you have to figure out what that day vision is for your life, because it's that vision that they those things that you're working towards.

11:28 That's how you're be able to that's how you're going. To be able to establish the goals and the things that you're working towards, so you can really find meaning and purpose in life. And how does someone find that vision? I mean, you know, it's one thing to talk about that and we can do that all of the time, but how does someone who is struggling and is finding that they're not happy? And that's probably one of the first keys of awareness that you know, what, this is not the life I want. How do they go about in your experience discovering that vision so that at least that's the first step. Now they have the vision, and then from there there's other processes. I think the first step is really you have to do a self assessment. You have to really understand your natural wiring. That's how you really figure out who you are and why you're here. You have to really and it's really it's hard work. Like it's it's tough work because sometimes it could take you a couple months a couple of years before you really are kind of you know, as you get to really know yourself. But I think that the key is really doing some sort of a self assessment.

12:39 So there's a number of different tools out here. Like I know, I use a tool called the flight assessment, which is a disk based tool. Get the disk assessment you. Have like Meyer's bridge, you have other other types of assessments and things like that, and these assessments aren't necessarily mean to tell you who you are, but I like to say that these are our tools to be able to help you with that self discovery process so that you really can look in and learn more about yourself. Because as you learn about yourself, you're able to learn how you're different from other people. Because we're all we're all wired differently. It's not to say that nobody's it's there's no right or wrong way to be wired. It's just preferences and perspectives.

13:24 And so if the key is really being able to go through that self discovery like that, that self assessment process to really be able to figure out what, hey, what's my strengths, what are my limitations? Who do I work with? Am I introverted? Am I extroverted? Do I like work? Am I more comfortable working with people? Am I more comfortable on working behind the scenes and touching more? And so on the processes as it comes to things. So the key is really doing going through that self assessment process to really figure out who you are. And that's the way you're able to figure out what your natural gifts are in what's how you're able to work in a meaningful, in an authentic manner?

14:07 Well, and I love that. I happen to be a certified behavioral analysts also, and I use something called people keys, and you probably heard of that because when we talk about the disc there's some very shallow disc personality tests, and I think the audience needs to understand that if you really want to get into what you were talking about, when you get into a purpose, how do you want to be communicated with all of those type of things and what are your values? It gets into something like you're using or what I've used in the past. And it's interesting because as you do that, and I think it's important to work with someone to just review that as you're doing that, because that starts you to think wow, you know. In fact, I remember I remember in one case a study that I was looking at, excuse me, where they had two salespeople that they hadired and one was just both of them interviews were incredible, that one was just killing it and the other one was really struggling, and they couldn't figure out what was going on. Finally they brought in the assessment and what they discovered was the one that was killing it had a value and important value of economics, and the one that was not killing it. One of their important values was art was that type of thing, and so he was really more focused on maybe that right brain creativity type of thing, whereas the other one was left brain. You know, I'm

15:38 going to get this done, and I think that people don't realize that. You know, it isn't a perfect evaluation. And that's why I think being able to talk to someone such as yourself go through that and you know, how do you feel about that? Does that feel right? Does not? But beginning to understand who as you say, who they really are, I think what a key that is, and most people don't do that. Now you are one hundred percent right about that. The biggest key is having somebody that you're working with that's able to guide you through that process, because you're not really able to if you're if you're just taking an assessment and you don't have anybody that's going to be kind of walking you through it and asking you the questions that need to be asked, it's almost like you're just you could just toss it to the side.

16:31 It's just another meaningless assessment that you just that's that you just you know, you take, you don't really implement or utilize it. And when you when you have somebody that's kind of handy or holding your hand and walking you through that process of self discovery, that's really the key and really where the transformation takes place. It's not in really in doing it on. Your own well, and you know that's where fear comes in. It was really interesting. I know, I was working with a small company and one individual that was kind of overseeing things. I said, you know what, they were really struggling with interaction with their employees and so forth. I said, we need to do this assessment. So we did it with the one individual, and I said, all right, now we need to do it with the owner. We need to do it with the boss, the CEO. They refused.

17:22 And it was curious to me that sometimes if people find themselves not willing to do something like that, there's something going on subconsciously that really they have this fear of discovering who they really are or accepting responsibility for their behavior and who they are. You are one hundred percent correct, is I always say that a lot of times the primary reason it most people, and I mean I can argue most people don't want to go through a self assessment is because of these acting what you said, They might be scared of what they uncover about themselves. And sometimes when you're going through that self discovery process, you might uncover that you're operating in a certain way because of something that it could be.

18:15 It could be some. Traumatic experience that you had as a child, and that whole experience just has wired the way you you operate and handle, you know, handle your relationships, whether that's professionally or personally, things of that nature. And so sometimes a coaching session could end up you what you need and to go to hire a therapist separately, because you might uncover some things about yourself that you really were kind of avoiding and running away from. So I think you're spot on with that well. And you know, as you start to work with people, and as you're working with people to help them to become truly their authentic self, do you find that there's even and another element there of change that becomes another obstacle that they need to overcome, a challenge that they face as far as a fear of change.

19:11 Yeah, I think that I think some people are scared of. Change, when in reality, there's there's there's almost you can almost guarantee that things are going to change. Some things are going to change for the goods. Sometimes it might change for the worst, but nonetheless things are constantly changing. So I do think that some people are a little more resistant to changing. And so when when you're resistant to change, it can lead to, you know, getting back to the distress and the depression and the over feeling overwhelmed. You really can't take a toll on you when you when you avoid doing that inner work. Well, and then you're working with someone and let's talk about this. I'd love to hear some specific experiences that you've had where you've worked with with someone obviously in business and again I think for the audience recognizing that whatever's going on in business from a personal level, it's the same with just you know, life in general. But what what stories can you share where you've worked with someone who is really struggling and lean as a leader and how on earth over a period of time where you help them able to help them to basically start to realize just besides the assessment, understand who they were and then start the process of making those changes, because that process itself isn't always easy.

20:38 Yeah, and starting the process of making those changes is really the hardest part. I always recommend that people take baby steps. So it really starts with looking at your routine. That's one of the things that that I always try to advise people to look at first. What are my what is my daily routine? You look like, how are my daily habits helping me to accomplish that big vision or helping me to accomplish those goals that I've set for myself. So I really think that things start with their routine. It's amazing how when people don't have a consistent routine that set them up for success. It's amazing how many people don't do that. So I think that that's something that's very important. I also think that it's very important that I think that something that's small but a lot of people don't do, is actually writing goals down and having them in a place where you can actually where you know you're going to look at them.

21:42 So whether for example, I'm in my desk right now, but if I look up, I have this basically this vision board of everything that I said that I want to accomplish over the course of this year. And I do that. That's such just an activity that I've done for the last couple of years. That's are and it was a couple of years ago. But I usually do it in January and I just map out the whole year from January to December and just what's my goals, what types of what types of problems am I going to be solving? I mean, people do I need to be speaking to? Those types of things are all on this on this board that I create. So I think that it's very important having something that you can visually see because when you can as as people were visual, we most of us.

22:30 Are a good portion of us are visual learners. Even when we try to say that we don't need to see it. But when you when you actually have these things written down on paper. But what I've really learned is that it makes it feel real. Whereas sometimes when we have an idea or we have a goal that oh it's in my head. When you write that goal down, there's something about putting that pen to paper and being able to have it something like something in your face. We're be able to see it. Not only does it make it feel real. It also makes you accountable to your goals as well, because it's something like, for example, like I mean, I just said I started in.

23:12 January, and I have a. Time basically a timeline going into December. And do I expect that. I don't know that I'm going to accomplish every single thing that I wrote down, but one thing for sure is that I'm working towards it. And so if you're not, really, if you don't have anything written down that you can work towards, it really makes it. It really has a way of making it a little bit less real in which and if it's not as real, it makes it a little bit more difficult for you to hold yourself accountable to you know, to actually accomplishing and putting a plan in place to accomplish that goal. Well, you know, we all talked about moving forward, you know, setting these goals moving forward. And one of the things that I found was that so often we don't realize how important it is to work backwards. And when I say that, you know, whether it's business and this is what I would do when I was working with smaller businesses, you know, what is what is it your ultimate goal?

24:12 What is it your ultimate vision or with the individual. What is it that you want out of life? You know? What is that? Yes? Now, what I want you to do is in vision that that's where you are. Now. I want you to go one step back. What's the thing that you need to do or to change in order for that to occur? And so they go, well, I probably need to do this or whatever. All right, now go one step back again, and keep going one step back, and all of a sudden it becomes really clear. And as you say, if you're writing those things down, all of a sudden you get back to the inner self and it's like, okay, wow, I've got these I have this belief system that's been imprinted on me by society or environment or even DNA. The is causing me to do these behaviors, which has caused me not to achieve my goal. And as we work backwards to that very in ourself, all of a sudden, here's where the change really takes place. And once you make that change, now you start to work forward. But now you have it in writing as far as what steps need to happen in order to achieve that goal or that life.

25:25 Yeah, I mean you really reverse engineering is is That's really the key, Like I said, you really have to have that big vision, like if you're like if my favorite analogy is like if you are on a on a cruise ship and you see that horizon line where you don't see any lane, but you know at some point, as you continue to go further and further on the ship, that you're getting closer and closer to that to that that that land. So that's kind of what your vision is. You're you're it's something that you can't necessarily see in a moment, but you're constantly working towards it. So if you don't have something that you are constantly working towards in life, because I mean it's it's we we all have goals and then it's like you reach these milestones and then at you you might feel great for you know, a month or whatever, and then it's like, all right, now it's time to set a new goal. It's kind of like winning the super Bowl, where everybody's all everybody's all happy you win the super Bowl.

26:24 Great, we have a great week, go. To the parade, and then all right, it's like now all right, now it's time back get back to work. We at the draft. Now we got we got free agency that we we you know, it's it's kind of that that same thing where you you constantly need to have something that if you have a big vision, you constantly have something that you're working towards, where it's almost like you're it's never. Ending well and you know, as you're moving forward, as you're growing. I know that you talk a little bit about the importance of character, and as we talk about all of these different characteristics of who we are and who we choose to be can make such a difference.

27:08 And so often, you know, I don't know how often people actually sit back and observe their behavior and recognize that, you know, what, when nobody's looking, what is your character versus what is your character when everybody's looking, what have you found that to be? And again, any stories that you can share with your experience of someone who you have worked with who really was struggling and yet through various steps that you helped them with, overcame and became extremely successful in their business and their leadership and their life. Yeah, I mean, I'll speak too like character is just a matter of can people trust you? And so I think that contrary to popular belief. Especially in America, sometimes what you doing pridely it does have public implications. I mean, that's just the reality. As much as we try to act like it doesn't, it very much can. And so it's very important for us to really take time to really just kind of assess it and be just recognize the person that we want to be remembered for and just making sure that it's somebody. Just just making sure that we're people that others can trust and that others want to follow, because one thing about it is that when people trust you, once that trust is broken, it can be very very difficult to get that trust back.

28:37 And so I think it's very important that you have people that you know operating in good character because that's just the demonstration that you're worthy of being trusted. I can think of an example of one person I was working with. It was having some issues. Basically he was just. Struggling with with his team where he would get along with certain types of team members and then other types of team members. Couldn't stand his guts. And when we were working with each other and we really peel back the layers, what we were finding was that obviously you have people that we are more comfortable working with. But the people that he was more comfortable working with, it was showing and it was really all some he was subconsciously showing them more favoritism than the people that he wasn't as comfortable working with. And then there wasn't I mean, the comfortability was really as simple as you have some people that kind of you know, you have some people that are just straight shooters, where they just tell you like it is. They just and they just are very direct in the way and their approach, where you have other people that are kind of like, you know, walking on eggshells a little bit, a little bit more of a softer approach and kind of easy you into what they want to say.

30:00 And so when he was more. Comfortable with the people who would ease in, and so when people would straight shoot him shoot it to him straight as we say, he filled them. Type of way. But we really had to as I was having conversations with him and we're really feeling back the layers of these situations. It's really a matter. Of you just don't like the you just don't like their approach to give you the information. It's not that these people were like they weren't even really disrespecting you. They weren't staying in a way where it's like you like you, you. Know, slamming your name or trying to offend you.

30:42 Like none of that was happening. It really was. These are just people who happen to be a little bit more direct. They were very respectful. It's not even like I said, it's not even like they were getting disrespected or anything like that. So it's just really a matter of getting that. It all goes back to that self discovery process. And I mean I don't talk to anybody about things that I hadn't really done for myself because the reason I understand how important this self discovery process is is because of my own journey in terms of my self discovery and my self assessment process. Because I haven't always thought this way myself. It's not like it's not a case where I was born in this way.

31:24 You go through your everybody kind of goes through their own journey where you get to a point where you have to confront this this you know, if you're not satisfied with where you are in life, you have to look inward and to see what's going on. Because I mean, ultimately we are responsible for our own results. And nobody else is going to ever care more than us. So that's why it's it's very important that we as individuals go through that self discovery, that self assessment process. And there's a number of different tools that are out there. But you really want to go through that process in the preferences to have somebody walking.

32:09 You through that process. Well, And you know, as you're talking, I'm smiling here because you know, I think about relationships and as you talk about you know, here's someone that's a straight shooter, and here's someone that wants a little softer even in personal relationships, you know, a marriage, whatever that happens to be. So often we tend to be attracted to our offices. So you have someone who's very much a straight shooter, loving that quietness, that person that's a little bit more gentle, and yet all of a sudden you get into life and your communication and what was most important to you now becomes the biggest challenge to you. And so how important do you think it is for someone to be able to say number one? And I think there's two elements here. One, Hey, communication, you know, vance you're talking to me and you tend to be that straight shooter, and you know, I tend to be a little bit more calm. Could when you talk to me understand that this is just who I am. So as you're talking to me, I appreciate your straight shootingness, but could you just kind of make it a little bit more gentle for me? And at the same time, on the other note, I need to realize that, all right, you're a straight shooter.

33:26 So when you do that, just sit back and go, Okay, this is just who he is. It has nothing to do with me. So how do people go about doing that in a way that they hit those two elements so that the communication really begins to flourish and all of a sudden you find a much better relationship in business as well as in life. No, And it's funny you say that, because as you say that, I'm smally because I think about So. I'm Mary. I've been married little two years now, and prior to my wife, I actually was in a long term relationship where we were we were actually engaged, and the engagement didn't work out, and after you know, we broke up, it wasn't really like kind of mutually decided that it wasn't that it didn't you know, we weren't when it continue a relationship, But after we broke up and I kind of go had that period of self assessment where it's like, you know, just trying to figure.

34:24 Out what work, where you know, where she went wrong, what I could have done better. As I was looking at the things that just kind of assessing the totality of the relationship with our recognize is that so I'm a person that's kind of like a soft like I have like a little softer approach, but I also recognized that she. Had a software approach. So in reality there were conversations that we should have been having that from time to time, we really were avoiding and it's like, well, she's not gonna bring it up, and she's probably like, he's not bringing it up, so it's fine, But in reality it wasn't, which ended up part of being part of the reason why we ended up breaking up. And so with my wife, it's the exact opposite where I have a softer like, kind of like a softer, slow walking type of approach, but she is a straight shooter and so me having that that really puts me in a situation where she holds me accountable.

35:32 It's the accountability piece is great. And then the other end of that is that given that she is a straight shooter, there's times in situations where she needs to soften her approach, and so me having a softer approach, she's able to recognize situations where she needs to be a little bit softer and maybe she needs to kind of exercise some restraint. And so it's like it's like a give and take, and so me having that accountability, I'm able to more so I'm more prepared to recognize, even outside of my relationship with my wife, other situations, whether that be personally or professional league, where I really do have to be have a more direct approach based on the result that I want to get, because sometimes when you don't have you have to be direct otherwise people are going to walk all over you.

36:29 And then, like I said, on the other end, there are situations where you might that softer approach is going to come into play because you being a straight shooter, you might end up offending somebody, or you might end up saying something that somebody maybe because of their perspective, it rubbed them the wrong way or they took it out of context in terms of a way that you didn't mean, but in reality, maybe you could have phrased it a little bit better or phrased it in a different way. So it's very important like that that give and take in that opposite those opposite ends. It's really even that's been beneficial for even myself and my relationship.

37:11 Well, and you know, as a parent, I've got four kids and we laugh about it now, we're all we have good relationships, but we talk about how I'm you know, as a parent, I was pretty much a straight shooter, and initially I didn't understand all of this stuff, and they would they sometimes felt really bad, really pushed really all of that. And as we talk and laugh about it now, we recognize that, hey, dad, that's just who you were, and that's who you are. And quite frankly, three of my children are more the soft approach and I just have one son that's a straight shooter. And so it was it was fun as we went through behavioral management together and recognize that, Okay, this is how we need to talk to each other and this is also who we are. But I think one of the key points, because we talked about personality evaluations and so forth, realizing that, you know what, just because you do that, that doesn't mean that's who you are stuck in Because it's so important to realize that, Hey, if I'm if I'm a straight shooter, I can learn to be more calm, I can learn to be more quiet, I can approach things in a different way. And I think as we recognize that our strengths can become weaknesses if we take it too far, our weaknesses can become strengths if we learn to develop that right.

38:36 And it just gets back to just recognizing those situations where you might have to adapt. So it's like, even we're talking about relationship my wife, she's a woman, I'm not going to talk to her in the same way that I talk to my friends because my friends maybe we are you know, maybe we're joking in having you know, maybe we're having a conversation about something, and I'm you know, you know how sometimes we have a tendency with our friends to kind of tread. The line of offense. Yeah, so I'm not going to Maybe it might be in an instance where it might be some slight offense on my friend where.

39:23 It's like we can just kind of brush it off as men where it's like. Hey, you know, I know he's joking, but I'm not going to necessarily have that same approach from my wife because I might say something in a joking manner, but she might take it in a different in a different way. But that's also that goes for many various relationships because we all have. Different perspectives, and so my perception. Of what might be funny might not be somebody else's perspective of the of what's funny. But what we have to do is just recognize that it doesn't It doesn't necessarily mean I'm right or that other person's wrong. It's just a difference in perspective. So and but the other part of that is that I'm just of the belief that you can't. I don't really believe you can tell somebody whether or not they should be offended, because again, we don't share the same perspective about everything as well, so I might not agree with it might be something that I don't find is a big deal. I think that's a separate subject. But it just all comes to put.

40:37 It comes comes into knowing who you are, and then the more you know who you are, the more. You're especially your strong relationships. You're able to identify what types of personalities you're dealing with, whether it's your children, whether it's your friends, whether it's your spouse. And then just really meet people where they are, because I think that that's the key. It's just understan the end in who you are, so you can meet people where they are well. And again, I think it goes to this whole concept of mindset, of awareness, of consciousness, and I think that's the key that people realize that, you know what, you just can't go through life unaware. You need to start to really think, you start to get some clarity. And as you do that, now you're on that step that we're talking about. So as we close, I'd like you to do two things. Number one, is there a message that you'd like to share with your audience? And then secondarily, how do people find you? And what are some of the things that if they go to your website are there there might be a value to them.

41:40 Well, I just the message that I want to leave for people is to figure out what that thing is that you were born to do. Figure out what you were born to do. The link Great Males Maru as a saying which is one of our favorite phrases. In your job is what you're paid to do, but your work is what you were born to do. And sometimes the two might be intertwined, sometimes they might be separately. But fulfillment is in you being able to figure out what you were born to do, all right. Yes, And for those who are interested in looking in looking me up, it's simphony w w dot Vance Scooper dot com. Ww dot Vance Scooper dot com.

42:24 That's where you can learn more about me if you want to have if you wanted to book a conversation, feel free to reach out to me via that channel. But that's really the easiest way to and then it's connected to my social media is and everything as well. So ww dot Vance Cooper dot com. And you mentioned do you have an ebook? Uh? What is that? Who would that be for? Yeah? So I have an ebook called Time for Success and U that is for anybody that is just looking for some simple strategies to be able to manage their time a little bit better. As as I said. Earlier in our conversation, I believe that one of the simplest fixes and easiest fixes that you can make is adjustments to your routine. And part of the reason that people feel so overwhelmed with routines and feel like they don't have enough time to accomplish things is because they had not looked at their daily habits. So that really just helps you. Just give you some practical steps to be able to look at your daily habits so you're able to develop a routine that really sets you up for success.

43:33 Fantastic vance. Thanks so much. I've really enjoyed this conversation. I did as well. Thank you very much for having. Me really appreciate your insights and folks, thanks for listening. I hope there's some value that you've gotten from this. Look forward to having you join us again soon. But there's a doctor Duck saying not mistake And