Words That Become Wealth

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0:44 Denzel Washington, welcome to inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Aurora, welcome to the show. That's great to be on the show with you, and I look forward to helping the audience turn their words into wealth. Well, and I'm looking for and you know, as we talk about wealth, I think you know so much. So much of the time we talk about success, wealth and so forth, and we're always thinking monetarily when we don't. That's a mistake. Yeah, when we don't realize. That, you know what, it's life, and yeah, monetary can be a part of it. But you know, here in Thailand, I see people who are what we would consider in the US so totally poor and homeless that they're not homeless, but you know they're on the streets and yet they're happy.

1:32 They have that sense of enjoying their lives. So anyway, we'll get into that. But you know, you have a fascinating background, So I'd love for you to just take a short while and kind of share with the audience who you are. I talk a little bit about the books that you've written, and it will get into it a little bit more. But I agree with you both the wealth. To me, wealth is freedom of richness, of relationships. It's health, it's making a difference, it's all kinds of things. Live in Indonesia for a year and I had this similar experience to what you're just recounting. There. The people hadn't got two nickels to rup together, but they were joyful and you know, they had good connections, and that is a kind of a wealth. So my background is as a film and television executive producer and award writing screenwriter, and I am a serial entrepreneur. I've launched a bunch of different businesses and I've written ten books, including my most recent nonfiction book, Turn Wort into Wealth.

2:28 I like to write books that make a difference, that can help people solve problems. But I also write books that will entertain people. So I've written three so far fantasy books for young adults, so they're kind of fun, The Magic Mystery and the Multiverse series of books, which I got on the pile. Here here's one of them. Oh great. And I just love helping people communicate more clearly and effectively, and that includes how you talk to yourself, how you talk to the people in your life, how you talk to your team, and how you communicate what you're up to so that you can enroll other people in your vision. Well, and I love that. And you know, you talk about words, and I think that that is so important. Why do the words that we use not only in communicating with others but with ourselves matter so much.

3:17 I'm glad that you asked that. Most people don't start with that question, but I think it's so important because most people, most people imagine that words don't really matter, but actually words turn into matter, and your brain cannot really tell the difference between something that you believe and repeat to yourself multiple times and something that actually is true. And so we create, we become what we think we are. You know, thoughts are just habits of ways of thinking. So many people, you know, have a habit of thinking I'm not good enough, or I'm too old, or I'm too young, or I'm too female, or I'm too short or I'm too tall, whatever the case may be. And it's it's really important to choose, in my view, to choose to overwrite that negative programming with gratitude. Gratitude is the simplest thing that we can all access and honestly, every day above ground is a day to be grateful for. Yes, there are challenges, Yes there are things that you might want to improve about your life or your business or your relationships, and yet your life you're breathing. So I think I start every day with gratitude and every day with gratitude, and that really helps me stay centered well.

4:31 And you know, as we talk about words, what comes to my mind immediately is we're talking, so we're talking about words. Do I talk to myself much out loud, not a lot. Maybe when I'm meditating, doing my walking meditation, I may have a few mantras I say, but out. Loud, but I don't do that. And yet, as we talk about words, and you talk about people talking to themselves, what are you really saying here? And how do they do that? Well? I think a lot of people use the word thinking quite loosely and indiscriminately. So I would like to draw the distinction between ruminating or automatic negative thoughts and actually being on the cusp of making a decision. When you're actually analyzing the pros and cons and you're on the cusp or on the verge of making a choice, that is thinking. But most people are not doing that most of the time. Most of the time they're rehashing yesterday with regret or they're looking forward to tomorrow with anxiety.

5:32 And the only point of power is the present moment. But many times we scatter our energy. We have forty percent of our energy ruminating about the past, all the shuta kutawudas, all the people who wronged us, all the mistakes that we made, and another forty percent of our energy anxious about the future. When are we going to die. Do we have enough in our retirement savings account? Maybe we should move to Thailand? And that only leaves like a sliver of us twenty percent of us in the right here right now. Of course I'm not the only person to say that, but it is something that I do my best to pay attention to, to be present, the present moment is our only point of power. And also just to catch myself, like when I think it's too late, or I'm too old, or I need a bigger team, or any kind of negative thought, I just catch myself and I ask, is that true? So you know, this is something very helpful to do, like catch and dispute, argue with those negative thoughts and instead shift if you can, to gratitude and to the truth.

6:29 Well, and two questions they're going to have. Number one, what's happening when people underestimate the power of words? Number one? And I'm doing this so I don't forget here. But number two. I used to do this in. My dental practice and just drive my assistance crazy because I'd asked two, three or four questions. At the same time. But the other thing is, you know we talk about that self talk. How often do we discover that the self talk isn't even conscious, and that it's really the only way that we recognize maybe that there's even self talk is something happens and all of a sudden, these emotions rise that we had no idea even existed within us.

7:12 So let's talk about both. But first of all, what happens when people underestimate the importance of their words? And then let's talk about that self talk that they're not even consciously aware of. Well, I want to give a shout out to Louise Hay because she changed my life with her book, You Can Heal Your Life. And until I read the book You Can Heal Your Life, I had zero understanding that thoughts are things, that thoughts become reality. And I read that book just after my husband died suddenly. I was thirty one years old, we had a four year old son, and my thirty three year old husband dropped dead completely unexpected. So, as you might imagine, I was having a lot of negative thoughts like I can't do this, this is wrong.

7:54 God hates me, I can't be a single mom, like I hate the word widow. Going to manage? I won't be able to, you know, take care of my son, I won't be able to take care of myself. Why did this happen? And reading that book by Louise Hay, which is still I think very helpful even today. She's passed on now, but her book is great, and she's got recordings on YouTube which are great, which shows the power of words, because after somebody's passed on. She pointed out that in her experience thoughts or things, and that we attract and create what we habitually think. And that was a real wake up call for me. That was like a bucket of ice water, because I'm like, whoa, If my thoughts are like horses, they are totally out of control and they're definitely going the wrong way. And so I began, many years ago. I began to interrupt those negative thoughts and to choose more empowering thoughts. At first, I did it for my son, not because I didn't really care if I was alive or dead, but I certainly was the only existing alive I hearn from my son, so I had to take care of him. So first I did it for him, and that's okay, here's whatever you can. And now I've developed that into just a daily habit of gratitude in the morning, gratitude in the evening.

9:10 I'm not saying my thoughts are perfect, but I do. I do appreciate myself at the end of the day. I'm like, you did a good job there. You did something difficult and you communicated fearlessly, or you've communicated as best you coulde So good for you. And I think if we don't understand that thoughts are things, then we are tragically sabotaging our health, potentially calling forth disasters. I like a course of Miracles. Perhaps you've read it, so there's a fundamental choice. You can either choose grievances or miracles. And I'm like, I think I'll go for the miracles. Yeah. Well, and you know it's interesting here. You are a film producer, okay, And I remember I wrote a blog once and I came up with this because someone else had mentioned it to me.

9:58 It was not original, but I was. Talking about the movies of our life and how often we are the author and the writer of our movie, and we are the ones that have created that story within our lives. How does that happen and how early does that begin? And how real is that? And what is causing those stories that may not necessarily be truly who we are. Well, I love that you've put it forth in the movie context, because it is very easy to cast yourself in the role of victim. But on the other hand, a hero's story has the same plot points. It's just the hero doesn't give up, so you know, a hero needs challenges and obstacles. There would be no you know, triumphant story of Saint George and the Dragon without the dragon.

10:49 I mean, if Saint George went out, he walked in with a sunny day, there was no problems and many kissed the princess like that's a very boring story, but no confronting the dragon. So I invite people who may be having some difficult times, think of yourself as a hero. What would a hero do? A hero's life is not absent of challenges, it's just you don't give up. Well, and you know, you talked about victimization, and I think so many people, without even realizing it, are living as a victim. And again, I want to go back to the original aspect of how do these stories get created? And I think that you know, for a lot of people this subconscious stories that have been created and as you say, and I appreciate the fact that you said, we literally attract from that subconscious story our life and our life experiences and our perception of our life. How do those things get created? Because I think it's important for people to understand that they can start to express gratitude, as you say, if they understand that that story that they have written was not really written by them. To some degree, it was because of their perception and so forth as a child.

12:05 But more importantly, it was written externally by your religion, by your school, by your teachers, by your family, whatever that happens to be, by society. How do people recognize what that is and begin to understand that that's not a true story. Well, it's very interesting that you bring that up, because I think that one of the fun things about helping people with their books is many times that get to go through their life and look for the gold in various different experiences and go that was a muddy experience that to wash off the mud, Oh there was a gold in there, there was a diamond, or there was some silver, and kind of reclaim their life. But one of the questions I love to ask my clients is if they are expressing a limiting belief or painful thought, like when did you first have that thought? And many times they're complaining or in grief about something that happened a year ago. But then when I ask when did you first have that thought? They suddenly go back through their life and they're like, well, actually, when I was ten, Well what happened when you were ten that evoked that kind of emotional response that you're now having again at forty five? Oh well my mother said this, and so then we can unravel it and go okay, So that painful thought isn't even yours. It was given to you by your mother when you were ten, and you're still holding onto it. Would you like to let go of it?

13:30 Now? Does it serve you? Would there be a more empowering thought? And so it's useful to go slowly when you have painful thoughts of limiting beliefs, and go, well, when did I first have this thought? Is this thought really about the thing that just happened? Or is that just a pattern that I keep attracting because I've held onto this energy or this thought or this belief since I was ten. And then the other thought I really like to challenge my clients with is is that even your thought or even your mother's thought, or did you just absorb that like as if you were a radio receiver from the collective unconscience, from the society, from I don't know what you watched on TV or you heard on radio? Is it really your thought or having you just not had any armor on and you were like a sponge and absorbed it, right, And I think it's worthwhile going slowly when you have limiting beliefs or painful thoughts such as I'm too old, it's too late, this is a problem, nobody ever loves me. I'll never succeed any one of those kind of things, and just go, well, whose thought is that? Is it even yours? And if it's not yours, let's release it well?

14:40 And I love that, you know. It reminds me of a personal story. I had a friend and a client who I had worked with, and he was a good friend and he called me one day and he says, you know, Doug, he says, I need to talk because I keep making these stupid decisions. And he says I can't. And I know that you know you can help me with this, but I can't figure it out, So we went back. We did the NLP going back into his childhood and discovered a moment in time in school when his teacher did something and I think this was maybe third fourth fifth grade, where his teacher did something that put him on the path of thinking that he was not good, that he was not good.

15:24 Enough, and so forth. And by reframing that for him, and this took about an hour and a half to get there, But when it was all said and done, he came out of that and I watched him start. To make amazing new decisions. He changed he was in the company that he was part on, but he changed his responsibilities, and all of a sudden, he watched his income grow dramatically as well as his family life becomes so much better. What do you have any stories that you could share with the audience about something like that? You know, I have a variety of stories along that line. I think you and I are quite akin in the way that we coach people. I like that you use NLP.

16:07 I use similar like cognitive behavioral therapy, which I wrote about in my book Grief Relief in thirty Minutes. One of the most striking examples that I could share is one of my clients came to my event. When I was helping people through grief, I founded the Grief Coach Academy, which is now being run by somebody else. Anyway, she was traumatized by this recurring nightmare. She couldn't sleep. She would wake up drenched and sweat. She'd wake up and just again and again seeing her husband die, died in a correct and this was really robbing her life because she couldn't sleep. And you know, Numberinkia, happiness is a good night's sleep, and she was revisiting it, revisiting it.

16:47 And what we did at the event is just helped her. Instead of stopping at the most horrific, blood spurting moment, continue the dream, continue the vivid imagination, a waking dream through coaching, so to speak. And then she was able to just imagine him leaving his body peacefully going, you know, her belief system to heaven and she was able to see him, you know, with the archangels with Jesus. I forget exactly what her details were, it doesn't matter, but that shifted her so profoundly because instead of stopping it, we always stop at the worst moment, she was able to have a vivid experience that was much more peaceful, and you know, it was a several day event. She reported that she slept through the night the following night.

17:38 So it's so amazing how something can keep somebody completely stuck for months or even decades. I've had people that I worked with who had the same thing keeping them stuck for twenty years, and in one coaching session, by reframing it using cognitive behavioral therapy or NP or other techniques, it just lifts and it's gone. And when they're able to live more completely into their full divine potential. Well, and you know what's interesting, what we talk about so much has been viewed as kind of woo woo, yeah, blah blah blah type of stuff. But there's a neuroscientific aspect to this, and I'd love for you to talk a little bit about neuroscience and what this does to our lives, to our stress levels, to all of those types of things when we allow this to happen. And the other thing that you brought up, and I think so often we don't even know sometimes where it comes from.

18:35 You know, I think about this concept religiously that you know, we're free to choose we have our agency, and I think to myselves, Yeah, but there's one caveat there because we also have d and a memory and we don't even know about that. And yet, from a neuroscientific standpoint, we could be having memories from our ancestors hundreds of years ago that have come up somehow and are facing our lives and without us becoming truly aware and learning how to manage that, it can it completely directs our lives. Yeah, exactly right, And have a little story to share about that. But piggybacking on what you're saying about neuroscience, your body doesn't perceive the difference between the thought and the reality. So if you are under threat, like a life threatening circumstance, your body will flood with cortisol. You'll you know, trigger fight, flight or freeze. All of these things are great if you actually need to run from a cybertooth tape tiger, but they're not good to live on a daily basis. They prematurely aid you. They can invite disease like heart attacks or cancer. It's not good to be living in fight or flight on an ongoing basis.

19:49 But I want to touch on you. We're talking about the DNA of memories, and I agree, I think they have I think we have memories in our bodies. We also think that stories are the way that humanity. The DNA of humanity I think is stories. Stories are how we capture the wisdom of humanity from generation to generation to generation. That's why, you know, the fairy tales are so like horrible because they're really warning us of like watch out, that could go badly, don't go there. But I want to share an incident I don't think I've ever talked about this on a podcast before. On the first anniversary of my husband's death. So my husband died in front of me, so that was traumatic and I had some PTSD. But what was shocking, surprising, completely unexpected was on the first anniversary of his death, it was like my body remembered that horrific experience and those very cells of my body were trembling with dread. It was my experience of it was it was the body remembering, not the mind, and it was very, very physical. So that was that wasting And I do appreciate the body has its own wisdom. The body and especially are you know people talk about having a gut feeling like your gut is your second brain. We do have a brain, so to speak, in our gut with our intuition.

21:16 Yeah. Yeah, And you know it's interesting. I think it was Carl Young that talked about that. I can't remember the exact words he uses, but the consciousness, the universal consciousnesses. Yeah, and you. Know that gets really way out there to some degree for some people. But the reality is that as you look. At that, and as he talked about it, I believe that there's this universal consciousness that we can tap into that we have no idea where it comes from. And so it goes into something that you've talked about before. I want to talk about clarity. Why is it so important? Because this is something that I. Find that I talked to a lot of people. This concept of awareness, this concept of inner clarity is it's so difficult for people, and yet it is in my mind, the key to start that path of personal transformation and the journey that they're really looking for in their life.

22:11 Talk a little bit about that. I love this. I think clarity is difficult for two reasons. One is we don't some of us don't want to get clear because we have this idea that if we get really clear, and we get very precise about what exactly we want, and then we fail, then we really have egg on our face. Whereas if we live in this kind of sloppy sort of I kind of sort of want it, then we can't fail. So I think the first obstacle to overcome with clarity is being willing to admit to yourself what you truly truly want, or like WAYN. Dyer said, what you really really really really want. And the cool thing is that what is it? I think I may have the numbers a little bit off, but only two percent of Americans write down their goals.

22:59 But of those two percent who do write down their goals, they're eighty percent more likely to achieve them. So once you have released the fog so to speak, that you're willingly putting around being clear, then lean into like, really, if you got clear and you wrote it down, like I write my goals down every morning, they're the same goals from Esby, but I want to remind myself, and that's because the neuroscience of it is, their reticular activating system is very goal oriented, and if we make it clear what we're aiming at, we're far more likely to get there. Whereas if we live in this kind of sloppy, vague, well you're not going to get anywhere because you haven't even said where you want to go. It's like if you're you know, if you're in a plane going from Los Angeles to New York, for example, the plane can be off course ninety seven percent of the time and still get there because course correct, course correct, course correct.

23:56 So I think it's really valuable to get clear and what you truly want. Then you're like me, write it down and just remind yourself and your bullet points every morning. Like a lot of people, eighty percent of people want to write a book, but how many actually start writing is a far smaller number. Right, Well, you fiel't start writing, you're probably not going to finish your book. Well, and you know, we'll talk about that because you mentioned journaling or you know, you journal each morning, and it's interesting to me that that really does make a difference. I struggle with that. I struggle with journaling, but I love to come up with these concepts of quote, writing a book and so forth. So the stories that we write for ourselves, I think become so important. And when we get back to neuroscience, you know, I think there's such a great fear among people that I can't change, you know, I just can't change.

24:49 And I mean, how many times have we heard that from someone that is experiencing something in a negative way and you just need to do this, And they go, I can't change. What's a neural scientific aspect of those neural pathways from your experience and understanding, where we literally can change those neural pathways from being negative to being positive. Well, I love this point. I think there is a major misconception people have about struggle. So for example, people say things quite commonly like Oprah thrived in spite of her difficult childhood. No, Oprah became successful because of her difficult Or David Goggins, you know, in spite of his poverty and the fact that he was dyslexic, he became super successful ultra athlete and bestselling author. No, not in spite because of And the neuroscience is this, when we struggle to overcome adversity at the edge of our capacity, that is when we're actually laying down mylin. So we're actually rewiring our brain, We're laying down mylin And it is struggle that lays down mylin. It's that aha moment also lays down mylin. You can change from like a billy goat trail that's that can send messages at two miles an hour to easily upgrading to two hundred or even two thousand miles an hour through struggle. So struggle

26:19 is not like you're completely overwhelmed and you're about to drown. Struggle is when you're playing tennis or golf against somebody who's like ten percent better than you. You know, they're not ten times better than you, but they're ten percent. You've got to pay attention. You're working to be at the top of your game. On the other hand, if you're playing with a child, you can phone. It in, right. So the struggle comes when we were intending to do our best and we're stretched like about four percent beyond our capacity. So we're not stretched the breaking, but we're stretched to do as best as we possibly can. So it could be playing tennis, it could be playing the piano, it could be writing, it could be speaking, it could be jogging. But when we confront our demons, or we confront our weakness, or we confront our lack of excellence, that's the path to mastery. People are not born masterful communicators like Oprah or like one hundred mile joggers like Goggins.

27:17 They get there by struggling. So I really want people to know that if you're struggling, celebrate it. You're actually rewiring your brain. You're literally rewiring your brain in a very wonderful and fantastic way. And you can do this at any age. And myelin is not like here today, gone tomorrow, like once you lay it down. It's more like a highway. You get to go from that billy goat trail that's dirt path to like a four lane highway or a six lane highway each way. So well, value of struggle. And you know you had mentioned gratitude, what comes to my mind, you know, beeting here in Thailand, obviously ninety percent of the people here are Buddhists, right, And so I've really enjoyed studying that a bit. And you know, he talks about suffering and how to overcome suffering, and I think about that and think, you know what, it isn't a matter of the fact that circumstances change. It's that as they follow that path that he talks about suffering.

28:16 Number one, they recognize that they're suffering. Number two And I think you hit that he doesn't talk about this. But when you look at that struggling, when you look at that suffering and recognize that this is teaching us something. And if we look at it from a standpoint of gratitude rather than victimization, suddenly, suddenly we are not struggling, We are not suffering, even though the same things are happening. But from a mindset standpoint, from a neurological standpoint, is like, yeah, and what can I learn from this? Oh? Yeah, this is hard, But what can I learn? And I think that's so important. For people to I agree, life is difficult, and when you accept that it is difficult, then there's less suffering because you don't take it like a personal attack because you're suffering. Everybody is suffering. Life is a challenge. But what are you going to do about it? How can you be your best self in spite of the fact that there is.

29:15 So as you're working with authors and you actually have a publishing company. Right, yeah, Same Page publishing. That's great. So as you work with authors, entrepreneurs, you're doing all that type of thing. Leaders, what are a couple of the subtle communication habits that you try to teach them that will make a difference in their business success. And in their life success. From your experience, I love this question. Okay, I want to share two things. One is the most common mistake is people believe that the message sent is the message received, and that is wrong. So no matter how carefully you communicate something, you have to check in and make sure that the message was actually received. And it helps to understand the neuroscience of communication, which I talk about at at length and my book turned words into wealth. So there's three steps to effective communication, and maybe I'll add a fourth if it's for a personal or personal relationship.

30:15 The first step is you have to have attention, so you can talk at length, but that doesn't mean you're communicating. If the other person is not paying any attention, no communication is happening. So the ancient reptilian brain is sorting through what do I want to pay attention to? What is worth paying attention to? Because attention is very finite and it's very expensive from a caloric or fat consumption point of view, So we basically pay attention to like zero point one percent of all the things we could pay attention to. So first you need to be sure that you have the other person's attention with a short, snappy message. That's basically what's in it for them? Why should they listen? So that's the crop brain, and that would be like the subject line of an email, or it would be the title of a book turnwards into wealth.

31:02 You know what category we're in. That's appealing to the croc brain. And it doesn't matter what order you do this. And then the second step from a neuroscience point of view is social midbrain. And this is the step that many people miss. So human beings didn't survive through the millennia because we were faster or stronger, or had longer clause or sharper teeth. We survived because of other people. So we are very alert to who else thinks this is a good idea. What is the status of the person talking to me. This is why it's great to be an author because the root of the word authority is author and it changes the conversation if the person speaking is an authority, or if they come from an authority, or if other people think they're cool. So, for example, this book, it won the award for a Best Nonfiction book.

31:50 When it came out. My Fantasy Books won the Reader's Choice Award. So you can drop the mid brain. Who else thinks this is a good idea? Or who sent you our conversation right now now is mid brain? So you think I'm worth talking to and I think you're worth talking to. That checks midbrain. And then after you've done those two steps, then you can talk to the decision making part of the other person, the cerebral cortex. But this is a generalization, but it makes the point. Most people understand that our brain has a left and a right hemisphere. So let's imagine you're in the throne room and you're going to talk partly to the king and partly to the queen. And let's just say all people have all sides of the brain. But for making the point stick, you're going to be analytical and logical for the king and you're going to tell stories for the queen. So and then you need to rinse and repeat.

32:43 So you need to check in how you know, like how did that land? You want more information and you will see if the other person is leaning in, tell me more or they're glazed over, tell me less. And you want to fine tune your communication. And if you notice most ted talks are twenty minutes, that's because it's very expensive to really pay attention, and people can actually only pay attention for about twenty minutes. Most people are not paying attention, they're waiting to talk, which is different. So what stands out to you from the three steps of the neuroscience communicating with the croc brain, the mid brain, and then the cerebral cortex. And then you said, there's one more for oh yes. The other thing that is really good to do if it's a high stakes conversation is mirroring, so you can literally you know, you probably know this. The Native Indians used to have a talking stick and they would pass the talking stick, or you can use a pen or a pencil, and it would be like you say what you want to say, and then you pass it to the other person and they have to repeat and summarize what you have said to your satisfaction, not word for word, but that they've got the gist of it before they go on to add their points. And if you really slow communication down, this is super helpful if it's a high stakes argument, or if it's a husband and wife or even an employer and an employee, or a parent and a child, slow it down, check in did they understand what you said? Have you understood what they're saying?

34:14 Because so many people the argument escalates, but nobody's listening well. And you know what comes to my mind is, you know, I have a couple of brothers that are attorneys. But even now as we see what's going on in Minneapolis and some of those things. And what fascinates me. And I'm not going to make any political judgment here at all, so that's not what I'm trying to do here, But what fascinates me is you have people looking, for instance, the same video and coming up with entirely one hundred and eighty degree opposite perception of what happened. And I think so often we don't realize that as we are communicating with someone that we are also depending on the words we're using, the let the body language that we're using, their perception is going to be entirely or possibly entirely different of what we are saying than what we are really trying to say and communicate. And I think this concept of mirroring, how do you help people to understand in a very subtle way how to mirror so that they can make sure that the individual that they're talking to, whether it's in business, whether it's personal, truly understands what they're saying.

35:29 Yeah, the thing to do is to get curious. You can mirror back. You know, Doug, did I hear you say x y z. You don't have to agree with x y z, but you need to capture the gist. I need to capture the gist if we were doing this of what you had said, and by not allowing the other person to make their counterpoint until I've summarized it to your satisfaction, that works to keep to slow things down. So I really invite people who are having challenges with communication, or even if you're listening to the news, get curious. Oh, I wonder why that person sees it that way. You know, this doesn't seem to happen at universities anymore, but back in the day when I went to university, if you were in the debate club, you had to debate either side. You had to be able to take your opponent's point of view and argue it effectively.

36:23 And I think we have lost that talent to some effect, to some degree, But I think that if you can be curious how the other person is seeing it, and you can capture their point of view and understand that they can't really listen to you unless you've listened to them. So if you'd like to be heard, seek first to understand, as seven habits of highly effective people said, seek first to understand, and then beyond. Well, what do we do? I mean, obviously, you know, I believe it's just one person at a time, but as we look at the rhetoric that's going on, as we look at the anger and the disagreement. I mean, it's amazing at this point in time where someone who was a dear friend, all of a sudden you have different political thoughts and you're no longer friends.

37:11 You can't you can't talk. How do you help? What would you suggest? How do you help people to be able to have an honest communication without judgment and without that reactivity to where you're really seeking to understand? Okay, this is how you think. I don't agree. You know, we can agree to disagree, but eliminate that negative emotion that has created such anger and division within the country. Well, that's a bit more advanced. Is not actually what I do? Is the main thing. Because I help people publish books, I think what I mostly help people with is first get clear. What do you think? What do you feel? How has your life changed you? How is a difficult circumstance that seemed like nothing but nothing but suffering on the surface. How did that later help you become a kinder, more wise, more interesting, more compassionate person or did it so? I think before we wrangle with other people's opinions, it's great to take a stock of who are you, how did you get here, what do you really stand for, what do you care about? And is that a message that you'd like to share with the world. And if so, perhaps you want to write a book or launch a YouTube channel, or host a podcast or have a radio show if you feel it's important.

38:38 But even if you don't share it with other people, I think there's a lot of value in getting clear for yourself. In my experience, when I'm helping people, you know, turn their life story or the business story into a book, they change because they reclaim the orphaned parts of themselves and they have the opportunity to see that that horrible thing that happened to me, actually that kind of turned out to be a blessing in an unexpected way. And I hadn't really put two and two together until just this moment. And there's something very what's the word? You know? It helps you become more coherent as a human being when you look at the fragments of your past and you put together a coherent story.

39:20 Well, and you know, you talk about writing books, and we're getting close to the end here, but you know, what comes to my mind is so many people want to write a book because they want to make money. And you know, I went online and looked at your books and when I went on Amazon and guess what, I can download your three books for free. There you go. And in my mind, it's interesting people keep thinking, well, I got to write a book so I can make some money and so forth, when in reality, what you're saying, if I'm understanding correctly, is by being able to sit down contemplating writing and putting it on paper, regardless of what the end results is, that's something that helps them personally exactly.

40:04 It helps them step into a bigger role of a leader. Yeah. So, as I wrote about in turn words into wealth, there are seven different ways to make seven figures with the book, but none of them are selling books. That would be a way number eight, which has been done. People have made lots of money with books. But if people want to be a public speaker, or they want to simply step into a bigger leadership role, it can be helpful. It's in the same way that you know, I've got an MBA. You know, if you've got an MBA, or you've got the MD at the back of your name, or you used to be a dentist, so you've got what is that the DS yeah, at the back of your name. Like that doesn't produce income itself, but it opens the doors to a new layer, a new level of respect that then creates wealth and income as a speaker or as a trainer or for your business, etc.

40:53 So as we close, what would be a message that you'd like to share with the audience It can make an impact in their lives. Yeah, I would love people to know that you matter and your story matter. I have been deeply changed by people who were already passed on by the time I read their books, but they changed my life. And if you have a message to share, I think that it'd be a wonderful thing to write a book and leave it as part of your legacy, and if you'd like help with that, you can come visit us at Same page Publishing dot com. You know, I can't think of a bigger gift to give than a book that can have a decade or two decades of somebody's experience. And like you say, you can usually download it for free on Amazon or get it from the library for free, or at most you spend twenty dollars to get the book.

41:41 So it's a really great gift to give others. Well, and I think you've hit a sensitivity for me because I think about my children, my grandchildren and so forth, and you know what legacy have I left them? And you know, you've hit it on an interesting point that I haven't thought about writing a book for them in a legacy so that they truly understand what I believe, what I think. That could be so impactful. So I appreciate you saying that, Well. You're welcome. Well let me know when you write your book. Yeah, right, So how do people find you? How do they learn more about you? So they can come to the Same Page Publishing dot com and they can get some free resources there, they can see the successes of my clients, and then if they would like help writing a book or creating videos for a YouTube channel or anything to do with communication. Really, they can sign up for a free business breakthrough call at book Call Top Days and I'd be glad to have a chit chat.

42:36 Oh or thank you so much. This has been fascinating. I really appreciate it. And my timer just went off. Perfect timing, Doug. Yeah, yeah, perfect, perfect perfect. That was very interesting. So anyway, thanks so much. I really appreciate it, and folks, thanks for listening. I hope you've enjoyed it. This is doctor Doug saying, have a wonderful week and no mistay down with sir,