June 23, 2026

The Life That Looks Perfect But Feels Empty — A Conversation with Catherine Crestani

The Life That Looks Perfect But Feels Empty — A Conversation with Catherine Crestani
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You can have the house, the business, the résumé, and still cry in the shower every morning. Catherine Crestani shares her honest journey back to herself, and why true success feels less like achievement and more like peace. Https://willowhealing.org

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,

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professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to.

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Do the same.

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Catherine, welcome to the show.

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Thank you for having me. Doctor Doug. I'm exciting to

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see where we go today.

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Well, I'm looking forward to it.

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And you know, obviously I'm from the US because of

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my accent, and where are you from because of your accent.

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Well, I'm from just south of Sydney in Australia, so

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I can have some Australian twang today.

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Oh what I love it. I love it.

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So what I'd love for you to do is kind

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of share with the audience. What I find really interesting, Catherine,

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is that the background behind what brings an individual to

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the point that they've written a book or they've got

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their podcast or what they're doing, and I usually find

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that there's.

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Some background beneath the reason why.

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So I'd love for you to kind of share who

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you are and a little bit of your background and

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what brought you to this point of doing what you're doing.

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What an evolution that has been, it's still going, still evoving,

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But I guess who I am now. My current title,

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if you will, is that I describe myself as an authority,

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guide and a writer and speaker, conscious leadership and human potential.

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And that's basically a really fancy way of saying I

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lead people back to themselves because so often we get

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lost in what everyone else expects, the verse for society expects,

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averse culture of family, all those things that we actually

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forget to follow what makes us excited and what brings

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us joy, so we actually want to wake up in

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the morning instead of hitting the snooze button ten twenty

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times and trying to avoid the day. So my background

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is this a speech language pathologist. So I did that

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for nearly twenty years, working with children with high needs,

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especially autism, spectrum disorder, and neurodivergent backgrounds, and I just

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never felt fulfilled. I was incredibly good at my job,

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and part of it is because I'm very intuitive, So

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I could create this beautiful calm atmosphere for those the

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kids that came into my space, but I could keep

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saying there was something more I was meant to be doing.

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And even then I never just was like put on

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my speech therapist's role. I also did so many other things.

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So I would go learn from all these different people

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from like allied health professionals, I would go learn from doctors,

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I would go I was constantly looking for the next

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thing to make me feel fulfilled or to help me,

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what I thought, bring that, you know, my life to

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the next level. And as I continue to step into that.

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You know, my first business that I had as a

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business partnership, I built that to seven figures with my

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business partner, which is pretty impressive, and we went from

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this tiny practice to I think eight full time speech

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therapists just speech therapists, which is unheard of back then

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less so now. But things have shifted and I did

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that through seeing gaps in the market. And what I

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didn't know is my gut instincts were really strong at

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leading to me to where I needed to be. So

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once that's kind of dissolved, in the background, I've been

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building out my own business and my own company, which

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I built that up to a six figure business. The

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problem was I made it all around revolve around me,

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so I was constantly on call. Like anything went wrong,

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everyone called me. I never got to have holidays because

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if I went away, everyone would still call me with

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all their problems and I had to answer the phone

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because there was no one else to call. So you

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can only stress your nervous system for that long before

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you end up in burnout, a dream or fatigue, chronic stress.

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I say, I worked twenty four seven because I had

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such bad insomnia. I'd wake up in the middle of

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the night and just go send all my delayed emails,

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you know, on my to do list, to get those done.

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And there was just this really deep yearning that something

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missing in my life, and my husband was actually urging

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me to sell the company. He's like, is it not

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making you happy? But I couldn't see another way out.

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And I was working with my nature path at the time,

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and he said to me, if you could do anything

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in the world, would it be And the unfiltered answers

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were like, I was, I would write, but I didn't

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know what that would look like. Then this was like

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maybe five six years ago. It just came out, you know.

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I was like, oh, okay, and he goes, we'll go

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do that and I was like, but how do I

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do that? But it was enough to plant that seed

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right and then just see how that ended up evolving.

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And then from working with him because I went to

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him every week by this point because I was maintaining

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my health. He was the only thing that kept me,

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I think, out of hospital and from having a collapsing

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in exhaustion because I was constantly having all these supplements

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and everything. But from doing that, I realized that I

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needed to sell my company because when I went through

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kind of coming more into my spiritual gifts and that

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sort of reawakening component, I realized that there was something

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bigger I was meant to be doing, and it wasn't

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the job I was doing, so First of all, I

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had to sell my company, and my company actually fell

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apart before I came to that point because it took

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me a while. So in and this I can't make up,

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doctor Doug, So are you ready? So in the space

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of a week, I had three staff resign. By this point,

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I concluded I needed to start stepping back. I just

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wanted to be more of a manager. I was taking

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on too much. My health wasn't okay, and so to

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have three staff resign in a week for various different

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reasons was kind of a kick in the backside. And

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I actually broke down on the floor and I was rocking,

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and I was like, I can't do this. And my

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husband and my son were both like, it's okay, you

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can get up, and I'm like.

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I don't want it.

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It's just too hot. I don't want to full on breakdown.

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So then I did get back up. Obviously I'm here.

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I got back up, and then I was like, all right,

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I'll just have to find some staff. I'll figure it out.

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I've done it before, I can do it again. A

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month later, another three staff resigned in a week, and

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I still hadn't replaced the first three, and by this point,

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I was incredibly angry. I was so angry. I just

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wanted to I did. I went and yelled at this

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place I meditate, I just want and yelled and like,

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what do you.

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One from me?

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You know, like this is so frustrating to do. Anyway,

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I accidentally took that out on a staff member too,

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and I did was accountable for that and when I

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owned that. But then a month later, so this is

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three up across three months. Another three staff resigned in

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a week. And by this point I went, you know what,

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these people aren't meant to be in my life anymore,

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and I am not meant to be running this company anymore.

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And as soon as I had that realization, it's like

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this big weight just lifted off me. And then I

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made the decision, I'll either find a buyer or I'm

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shutting the doors. That's the point I was at, And

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the universe did send me a buyer, and I ended

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up working for him, and that was beautiful. At the

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same time, I kept staying in that position even after

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I had to, like I was able to go because

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my contractor kind of ended. I stayed in there because

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I was afraid of whether money would come from if

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I left, and by staying I physically started to go numb.

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So I lost feeling in myky I lost feeling up

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to the like I lost feeling it half my face.

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It was all just tingling and numbed. And everyone I

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went to I have a beautiful team of allied, like

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different practitioners from Cairo, you know, metaphysical, all these sorts

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of things. And it would shift for a few days

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and it would come back. And then finally I met

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with this couple and they went, Catherine, you already know

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that unless you address the underlying cause, this numbness is

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going to keep coming back. And I was like, oh

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my goodness, I'm numbing myself to go to work. You

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know that that's the point. And I was showing up

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in my system, which had been stressed for so long already,

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and so I was numbing myself. And so I was

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meditating with my coach at the time and he's like,

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if your heart could tell you one thing, what would

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it be? And this non negotiable quit came up. I

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had to quit my job. And I knew that that

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was my final warning or my health was going to

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tip over and be a lot harder to pull back,

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and so I did. I had no plan, and my

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husband had to go back to work because I'm like,

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I'm done, you need to go back to he was

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stay at home dad. I'm like, you need to go

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back to work. I'm going to be stay at home mom.

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And the first day I was stay at home mum,

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all of my symptoms disappeared, every single one. And then

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that was when I really had time to start unpacking.

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What did I truly want in the meantime, you know,

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I was. I started my podcast because I knew I

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wanted to get over my fear of speaking my truth.

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That was the thing. I was like, I need to

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show up. I need to share all these gifts I've got,

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and I also want to learn from other people. So

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that's why I started my podcast, which then evolved into

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a massive connection network which I never imagined. And sometimes

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I still get guests in front of me and I go, wow,

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I can't believe I'm interviewing this author of this book

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that I love, you know, or however it shows up

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like that. But through that too, you know, I started

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to write. So I started to write. I hadn't I

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had this dream of my book that I wrote and

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just publish. And I had this dream and I just

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was like, I need to turn this into a book.

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So for fifteen minutes a day, I just created this

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commitment practice to myself where I just wrote and I

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just no matter what. And it got to such a

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good habit that if I went to bed and have

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forgotten to written write my fifteen minutes that day, I

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would wake up and need to write. And you know,

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it was through all of that that I became who

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I am. And I share this with people and I

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support people, especially women, to say that they can have

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it all. Like my favorite expression is you can't have

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the cake and eat it too, And I said, but

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why not? Why can't you have the cake and eat

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it too and have everything that you want in your life?

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We are so limited and conditioned, and that's how I

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came to where I am today.

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Well, and I love that you know and that story,

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and thank you for sharing that. I mean, you know,

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there's a lot of personal stuff in there, but you know,

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I think one of the reasons I was so interested

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in having you on the podcast is something that you

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said that we need to come home to ourselves. And

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actually just a few months ago, I was, you know,

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I was thinking, I've got to do something more. I

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had interviewed someone and they were talking about, you know,

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what kind of legacy are you leaving and so on

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and so forth, and you know, I love the podcast.

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I'm retired. Uh, But then I thought, you know, I've

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got to do something more. And it hit me that

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and it's such a correlation with what you just have

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said and what you're doing, because I ended up starting

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a whole thing that I'm just trying to develop right

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now called doctor Doug Reflex a quiet return. And the

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whole point is that, you know, so often we just focus, focus,

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focus on changing, and when really it just means and

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as you said, you sit back, you may meditate, and

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all of a sudden just quietly come back to who

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you are. So what you're talking about there, I think

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is so fantastic. And you know what I find interesting

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is what is it that causes us to go in

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a certain direction? You know, for you, you you ended up

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building this incredible business, a couple of businesses and so forth,

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what was the motivation behind that? And ultimately, as you've

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done this whole self introspection, what was it that was missing?

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What were the values, What were the motivators? What were

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they that ultimately you realize that brought you to doing

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what you're doing now.

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I feel like a big piece of that puzzle was

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actually believing in my own self worth. So it was truly,

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you know, oh, if I if I can build my

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own business, and it will like I look successful on

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paper to other people, and if I you know, and

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even I was married before my husband now, and so

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many people would say to me, you have the perfect life,

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when inside I was numb and not okay, you know,

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I was so depressed. I cry in the shower every morning,

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you know, But this is what on the outside. It

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was that constant me of that status. And it's like, oh,

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you know, because we're taught success is the material checklist, right,

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Oh yeah, we've got the house, we've got the cars,

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we've got the two point five kids, we've got the animals,

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we've got the business. You know, we have our holidays.

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But what's exciting about that? Like, once you achieve all that,

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what's the feeling that's left? And I feel that that's

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what a lot of people miss. So for me, my

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feeling of success is actually being at peace. It's been

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in that stillness, like you said, meditating the calmp But

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I don't have to meditate to do that. I can

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just sit there and find the gratitude in my life

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in the moment, and that is enough to bring me.

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That piece exactly. Yeah, and yeah, I.

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Was gonna say. And sometimes when it's so aligned, you

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just have those beautiful tears of alignment and gratitude where

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you realize, Wow, everything that I've worked for, everything I

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was trying to pull together, is truly working out, and

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you just get these tears appear. I just that your

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soul almost leaking through, saying yes, this is what it's

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meant to feel like.

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Well, and again, you know, as I listened to different

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podcasts or you know, on social media and watching some things,

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every once in a while, someone says a word or

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a sentence that really hits me. And just the other

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day someone was talking about how people and this day

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it was more of a religious one, and they were

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talking about how people in their faith tend to pretend

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and he talked about how their studies have shown that

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that creates such stress. And what that reminded me of

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is here you are, you're talking about really pretending to

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be someone that you genuinely truly were not and the

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result of that was stress and health issues and all

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of that. And I think it's so important for us all.

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I've experienced it too. I think it's so important for

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us all to realize that if we're experiencing poor health

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and we can't figure out why, we really need to

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look at what life are we living and is that

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really mine or is that someone else's.

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That has taught me that this is how I have

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to live.

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Yeah, and also to have the courage to inquire and

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then take the steps to step out of it. You know,

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it wasn't easy, Like I say, my first marriage breakdown,

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it was. It was okay to a point, you know,

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but at the same time, I still had to have

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the courage to blow up my life essentially because it

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was I had to sort out. I didn't even know

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if I'd had a house at the end of it,

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or a business or whatever, you know. But I had

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to do it, and I knew I had to do

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it to honor myself. And then even you know, quitting

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my job. It takes courage, and courage, isn't people believe

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that courage is the skill we're born with. But it's not.

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It's something you have to develop and you do it

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by taking a little bit of risks each day. And

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I always say to people, you know, what's the worst

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that could happen? You know, you go ask someone to

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be a guest on your podcast and they say no,

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So what they say no? Move on? You know. It's

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just you know, put yourself out there and see what happens.

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You know. And I love that Wayne Gretzky quote you

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miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take,

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because if you don't try, how do you even know

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it's a possibility. And a lot of the clients I

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work with, that's a big thing that it comes back to.

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It's like why not why not, you know, start your

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art business, or why not make that jewelry or why

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not you know, create something that brings you joy and

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you do it for you. And even when I was

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writing this book, it was for me. I needed to

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get this story out. I wasn't thinking of how it

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would cause the impact. And people say that that's selfish,

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but that is a condition in itself. It's actually been

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My old coach called itself full, you know, because you're

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filling up your cup and then everyone else can have

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the leftovers.

334
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Well, and you know, you bring all that that is

335
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an interesting something because you know, I've just been studying

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selfishness and how that literally, you know, selfishness, and it

337
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correlates with ego and all those types of things. And

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I recall a statement that was made that if we

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truly want to gain a consciousness and insight of past, present,

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and future whatever, we need to annihilate that selfishness in

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our lives. And that's what you're talking about here. And

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you know what I find interesting. Everything we're talking about

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has just a general focus on individuals to truly return

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to who they are. But it seems like you've kind

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of started to focus on relationships.

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Why because the universe sent them to me, don't to douge.

347
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So I was.

348
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Adamant, you know, about two months ago, three months ago,

349
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when I started writing this book, I didn't expect it

350
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to have delays that it had in it, because you know,

351
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when you're writing from that aligned place, it ends up

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being like a little bit of a reflection of your life.

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But at the same time, it went so deep into

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how from loneliness we make these decisions that aren't aligned

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or from desperation. So then I'm getting a flood of

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these clients because like attracts, like it's a universal law, right,

357
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So I'm getting this flood of clients who are taking

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on clients even though their gut said no, they took

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them on anyway because they wanted and we needed the money.

360
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I was like, but they're always the most disastrous, and

361
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I know this from building businesses, right, you don't say

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no to those clients. If you get that gut feeling

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that they're going to be trouble, they probably are going

364
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to be trouble. Right. But then all these people, especially men,

365
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started to call me, going, hey, is my marriage okay?

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Because I do have like psychic gifts where I can,

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you know, intuitively tune into different situations. But the biggest

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thing that kept coming up is like, have you had

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a conversation? Have you actually expressed what you desire and

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what you choose to have? And have they as well?

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And so often we forget to have those conversations where

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you you know, because so often, especially in relationships, we

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don't enter them with an image of the end, right,

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we don't on our wedding day. Imagine getting divorced in

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five years. You know, that's not what happens. You know,

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we create this beautiful dream and vision of how our

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life will look. And what I found is a lot

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of people get stuck in the old dream and don't

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adapt because life changes, all your goals change, or your

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value shift a little bit because you've grown as a person,

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or they get stuck in this false reality that they create.

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So it's like they've created this whole story in their

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head about what their partner feels or things without even

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having a conversation with them. So this is how it

385
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came in.

386
00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:58.039
Yeah, yeah, oh wow. Fascinating. And you talk about loneliness.

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I did a whole potat asked with someone talking about

388
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the concept of loneliness versus solitude and how there's such

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a difference.

390
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You know, if we are alone in.

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Solitude where we're able to just consider, be curious, and

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just be who we are, versus that sense of loneliness

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where we want something and we're lonely because we're not

394
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finding it. Talk a little bit about loneliness and how

395
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that's affecting relationships and how does that come about in

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a relationship.

397
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Often there's like there's two parts kind of it because

398
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sometimes it's easier. So if you feel lonely, you can

399
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feel lonely, be certain, and be surrounded by people because

400
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people can actually see who you really are. And I

401
00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:47.319
guess the flip side of that is instead of facing

402
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ourselves and having a good look in the mirror, we

403
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distract ourselves and run away. And that's often what loneliness

404
00:20:53.799 --> 00:20:57.039
can bring to the surface, are those insecurities and those

405
00:20:57.119 --> 00:21:01.440
vulnerabilities because instead of looking at the mirror and embracing

406
00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:03.559
the darkness, you know, for me, I had to do

407
00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:06.519
a lot of work on my self sabotage. She shows up,

408
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:09.200
she likes to throw in the towel just before I'm

409
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done with something. We had to have a conversation and

410
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:15.079
she's in the backseat now she's not allowed to drive anymore,

411
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you know. And for me, like even self worth, like

412
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I had to really come down to actually I believe

413
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.640
I am worthy, whether you expect it, like accept me

414
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.079
or not. But it came through those moments of loneliness

415
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where I'm like, why can't I find people I connect with,

416
00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:32.240
or why can't I find my soul tribe, or why

417
00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:36.680
can't I find the right person? My husband now we

418
00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:39.079
were looking for each other. We just found each other

419
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because we were in good spaces where we were truly

420
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:44.599
honoring ourselves in that moment, and that is a stronger

421
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foundation for a relationship than when I married my ex,

422
00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:49.559
which was we were young and dumb. I like to say,

423
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but you know, you just don't know any better. But

424
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so often people just you Loneliness scares people because it

425
00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.759
means they have to face themselves, so they'll use just

426
00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:03.119
actions to get them out of that, or they think

427
00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:05.799
that they have to live to other people's expectations of

428
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:09.240
what their life should look like. So instead of being

429
00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:12.799
okay being single, your your mom might be their nagging

430
00:22:12.839 --> 00:22:15.240
you're saying, are you're thirty now you should be married

431
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.319
and having kids, or you know, it might be oh,

432
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.880
you know, she's like really old, so she's not going

433
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to find a partner. Where actually you're quite happy being alone,

434
00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:27.920
Like you said in Solitude, you were enjoying your life.

435
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:30.079
You're loving it, and then all of a sudden, this

436
00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:32.559
loneliness feeling kind of comes up because you feel like

437
00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:35.440
you're letting other people down, or you feel like you're

438
00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:39.720
not meeting your potential you and then people use technology

439
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:42.480
to distract them to. You know, it's so often I

440
00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:45.200
go out now and you'll go to a restaurant to

441
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:48.839
have dinner and people are there, like with the family

442
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:51.440
or with a partner of significant other, and they're both

443
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:54.839
on their phones instead of having a conversation with each other,

444
00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:59.000
you know, instead of facing and having those difficult conversations,

445
00:22:59.079 --> 00:23:02.119
they're choosing almost be alone by being in their phone,

446
00:23:02.279 --> 00:23:04.839
even though we're there with other people. So this is

447
00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:07.839
this weird shift I'm kind of seeing in technology where

448
00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.359
it's become an avoidant behavior. So a lot of people

449
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:14.119
use that to avoid the loneliness in the first place.

450
00:23:14.599 --> 00:23:18.160
Well, and emotional safety. You talk a little bit about

451
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:21.799
emotional safety and what is it and kind of describe

452
00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:24.200
that and how do people fall into that trap of

453
00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:28.680
being safe emotionally and then what does that do to

454
00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:30.720
their overall experience of life.

455
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:34.440
Our ego, if you will, once to keep this safe.

456
00:23:34.920 --> 00:23:37.279
You know, it just has this program. It wants to

457
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:40.359
keep us safe. So when we start to step outside

458
00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:43.720
our comfort zone, all the voices start to rear up.

459
00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:46.640
And I always say, from being going through that sleep

460
00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:50.880
deprived mum stage, don't make decisions when you've worked on

461
00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:53.599
like two three hours of broken sleep. You know that

462
00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:56.440
is not going to help your emotional state because that

463
00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:58.799
is when that voice in your head rears its, you know,

464
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:02.319
raise its voice is like, oh, she's tired, now, let's

465
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get our hooks in and keep her where she is,

466
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:07.759
you know, like keep us safe. It's not a bad thing.

467
00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:11.559
But at the same time, if you always stay the

468
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:14.640
same and you always choose the comfortable and easy route

469
00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:18.240
and it feels more emotionally stable, you're never going to grow.

470
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:21.960
And our soul is here to expand and grow and learn.

471
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.920
And like you said when you were questioning the legacy, right,

472
00:24:25.240 --> 00:24:27.640
what legacy am I leaving? What am I actually choosing?

473
00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:30.920
Because you're yearning for something bigger, because we're meant to

474
00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:34.079
be connected with others, where like we have a natural

475
00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:37.400
social instinct. But at the same time, if you're choosing

476
00:24:37.480 --> 00:24:40.680
to stay in that emotional safety zone, a little bit

477
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.279
of stress is okay. The stress I went through is

478
00:24:43.319 --> 00:24:45.920
not okay, But a little bit of stress is okay

479
00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:50.640
because it's just extending you that little bit further and

480
00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:54.200
allowing you to step and grow it. And the reason

481
00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.039
it feels uncomfortable is because it's new. We don't know

482
00:24:57.039 --> 00:24:59.640
what to expect on the other side, you know. And

483
00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:03.440
and so instead of letting your emotions always dictate the way,

484
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:06.039
you kind of have to have a pause and check in.

485
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.200
So I always say to my clients and people I

486
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:11.079
talk to, like, what does your heart want? Then check

487
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.720
in with your gut, see if it feels safe, you know,

488
00:25:13.799 --> 00:25:16.079
and it's not just take a little step, you know,

489
00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:18.559
just see what that feels like. Try that on, and

490
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.400
then another little step and another little step, and then

491
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:23.839
we check in with our head, because our head will

492
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:26.160
try and override that because it just wants to stay

493
00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:29.200
the same. And this is why NLP and practices like

494
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:33.519
that are so important to have, because sometimes we do

495
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:36.839
need to counteract those voices in our head and just

496
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:39.400
find a way to acknowledge them so they don't end

497
00:25:39.480 --> 00:25:42.400
up keeping us small and keeping us in this little

498
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:46.519
emotional safety nepp because we're not able to experience the

499
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:49.799
wealth of emotions that this life can then delve up

500
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:50.200
to us.

501
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:54.039
Well, and you know, it comes to my mind, you know,

502
00:25:54.119 --> 00:25:56.200
as we talk about all of this. You know, you

503
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:58.720
obviously have people that are reaching out to you and

504
00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.680
so forth. But I also noticed that many people and

505
00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:06.599
I've experienced this in my own life personally. But oftentimes

506
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:10.359
we just are going through life and something doesn't feel right,

507
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:15.319
but we cannot figure it out, and hence the stress

508
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:18.279
and that type of thing. How do you what do

509
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:21.759
you find would be the initial if someone is just

510
00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:26.799
feeling not comfortable with their life? What is the first

511
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:29.279
thing that they really need to focus on?

512
00:26:29.720 --> 00:26:30.240
Number one?

513
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:32.880
Is it just get rid of the fear of focusing,

514
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:36.920
you know, become aware that hey, you know what, this

515
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:40.599
is not what I want? And then gaining some clarity.

516
00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:43.599
How have you found you help someone to gain some

517
00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:50.480
clarity about the foundational causes of that emotional stress and

518
00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:53.559
that pretense that they're experiencing in their life.

519
00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:56.880
Well, it really depends on the person, if I'm honest,

520
00:26:56.920 --> 00:26:59.640
doctor Doug. But a lot of the majority of people

521
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:03.480
forgotten how to dream. They've forgotten how to allow themselves

522
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:06.079
to be in a situation other when than where they are.

523
00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:09.680
And sometimes, you know, we have to tap into that

524
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:13.599
childlike wonder and awe and go, Okay, if I could

525
00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:17.079
have anything in the world, what would that look like?

526
00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:19.359
Or if I could do anything in the world, what

527
00:27:19.400 --> 00:27:22.640
would that look like? And it's amazing how quickly that comes,

528
00:27:22.759 --> 00:27:25.920
but sometimes people can't because their nervous system is so

529
00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:29.839
shut down and they're in that flight freeze situation. They

530
00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:33.440
can't allow themselves even to imagine. So often then we

531
00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:36.279
have to unpack and stabilize the nervous system to a

532
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.319
point that they can then step back into imagining something.

533
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:42.599
And sometimes the idea of like a ten year plan

534
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.680
that is overwhelming system as it is, so let's step

535
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:47.480
it back to make it comfortable. Like I was saying

536
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:50.720
before those little steps, Okay, what if in a month's

537
00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:53.480
time you could change something? What would that feel like?

538
00:27:53.640 --> 00:27:56.160
You know, we're in three months time and six months time,

539
00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:58.559
what would that look like? And then we can start

540
00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:01.240
to pull it out from there. And sometimes that can

541
00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:04.400
be a beautiful way to do that. But sometimes people

542
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:06.880
just need a dose of reality. I know that sounds

543
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:09.039
really weird, but sometimes people just need tough love.

544
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.440
They need well right.

545
00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:14.119
And they need it just reflected back to them. And

546
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:17.000
I'm like, Okay, you've just said to me you're ready

547
00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:19.319
to leave your marriage because of X, Y and Z,

548
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:22.440
but you're telling me that you're still hoping for a change.

549
00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:25.960
How long has that been for twenty years? Do you

550
00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:29.160
think it's going to change. No, so why are you

551
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:32.319
hoping for one? And then it's like, oh my goodness,

552
00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:34.640
why am I hoping for a change? You know, And

553
00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:37.519
it's not always me encouraged them to step out of

554
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.279
their relationship, but sometimes that's what you have to do

555
00:28:40.359 --> 00:28:42.279
as well. It just depends what it is.

556
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:45.160
Well and interestingly enough, you know, as I've talked to

557
00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:48.720
a number of different coaches about relationships, one of the

558
00:28:48.759 --> 00:28:51.359
interesting things I've found, and you kind of brought this

559
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:55.759
to mind, is that when an individual is ready to

560
00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:58.119
leave and you can sit.

561
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:00.960
With them and say, you know what, let's work on you.

562
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:04.319
Let's work on you, let's work on your communication skills,

563
00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:07.720
let's work on you, they find that as they truly

564
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:12.519
become who they are, all of a sudden, sometimes they

565
00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:16.200
see the change in their spouse or their partner and

566
00:29:16.359 --> 00:29:20.680
things come around to where it's really nice. But you're right,

567
00:29:20.759 --> 00:29:24.000
there are times where the situation is such that it

568
00:29:24.599 --> 00:29:28.480
takes two It takes two people for that unity to

569
00:29:28.599 --> 00:29:32.319
come together and for both of them willing to really

570
00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:35.720
look inside and what is it that I need to

571
00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:39.400
personally change. I love how you talked about NLP because

572
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:40.920
you know what I think.

573
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:43.680
As I was working with small businesses.

574
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:47.599
For a while as a business consultant, one of the

575
00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:50.640
questions I'd asked was, you know, where do you want

576
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.799
to be in your business? And I've kind of reversed

577
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:56.039
that now into where do you want to be in life?

578
00:29:56.480 --> 00:29:59.079
And so you talked about it, here's my dream, here's

579
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:01.440
where I want to be. All right, if you want

580
00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:05.519
to be there, what's the previous step that needs to

581
00:30:05.559 --> 00:30:08.759
be there? Well I boo boom boom boom boom. Okay,

582
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:12.160
well what's the previous step before that? And what's the

583
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:14.319
previous step before that? And all of a sudden you

584
00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:18.960
get back to that innate clarity of you know what,

585
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:22.279
there's something there that is motivating me that is not

586
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:25.920
what I want. And that's where NLP comes in so handy.

587
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:29.279
What have you found is you've used NLP in helping people?

588
00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:31.119
What does it do for them?

589
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:36.759
Sometimes it's about because in the metaphysical world, our thoughts

590
00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:40.400
project and pull into our field what we're thinking, and

591
00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:44.000
a lesson wouldn't realize this, right, Like just thinking that

592
00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:48.680
all the time is creating that reality around you. And

593
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:52.759
often our outside world is a reflection about inside world.

594
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.440
If you start to catch those thoughts, then it can

595
00:30:56.480 --> 00:30:59.319
be a really powerful way to start to change that

596
00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:03.880
inside world. Or even being curious, why am I thinking

597
00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:07.640
that I have actually done that from myself and start

598
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:09.680
to go okay, well why does that need to be?

599
00:31:09.880 --> 00:31:12.559
Why is that the program? Where does that come from?

600
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:15.640
Let me start to shift that. I even use something

601
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.960
even simpler and I just go cancel, cancel, cancel. When

602
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:20.519
it's a thought I don't want to think about, I

603
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:23.400
cancel it out. I'm like, no, not having that, and

604
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:25.559
that's enough to shift it. But I've done a lot

605
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:27.559
of work to get to that point, you know, But

606
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:29.799
if it comes back again, then I'm like, oh, okay,

607
00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:32.279
there's something deeper we have to go. So a lot

608
00:31:32.279 --> 00:31:35.000
of time where clients are used something called theater healing

609
00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:38.240
where we will go in and reprogram beliefs and we

610
00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:41.480
you do that through n OLP programming at the same time.

611
00:31:42.119 --> 00:31:45.599
But it's all about okay, well here's your belief what

612
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:48.599
would you like it to be? Instead? Oh, we can

613
00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:50.960
change it. It's like, yeah, you can change anything. Where

614
00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:53.960
the master creators of our universe, right like, we can

615
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:57.400
create everything that we want to and sometimes we forget

616
00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:01.279
we have this power. We truly do. You get everything

617
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:04.480
around us is our creation. We're creating it. So when

618
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:08.039
it comes back to working with clients, it's like, okay, well,

619
00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:10.640
how can we shift that? You know, where is it?

620
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:12.880
So sometimes I have to go deeper and we might

621
00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:15.079
do some inner child work, But a lot of the

622
00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:18.240
time it's about, all right, here's the thought process that

623
00:32:18.279 --> 00:32:21.240
you're having. What can we do to counteract that? And

624
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:23.799
what can we do to create a balance so that

625
00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:28.559
your nervous system isn't defaulting to the old negative programming

626
00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:31.599
all the time, all those thoughts that you're having about yourself.

627
00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:34.880
And the beauty is when I work with clients is

628
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:38.640
I just trust wherever I'm led, you know, I trust, Like, okay,

629
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.359
well we need to unpack this. This is deeper than

630
00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:44.000
just some NLP work. We have to go back to

631
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:46.559
the root cause or sometimes it's like, oh, let's just

632
00:32:46.599 --> 00:32:49.200
reprogram that, and they're like what, I'm like, Yeah, let's

633
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:51.440
just do it. Let's throw in some tapping, let's go

634
00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:53.400
for it. Let's see what that looks like on the

635
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:56.880
other side. And you know, a lot of the time, too,

636
00:32:57.480 --> 00:33:01.480
gratitude practice don't underestimate the our of gratitude, Like it's

637
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:04.799
so amazing how that can bring people back to themselves

638
00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:07.240
as well, especially when they're in that state where they

639
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:09.839
feel like nothing's going right in their life. It's like,

640
00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:12.200
all right, well, let's start to contrast that, what can

641
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:16.000
we be thankful for right now? And where in our

642
00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:19.359
life can we have forgiveness as well for ourselves because

643
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:22.240
often we are our own worst critic, right and we

644
00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:25.480
are out the one that pulls ourselves down more than

645
00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:26.319
those around us.

646
00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:30.319
So one of the things that has always fascinated me.

647
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:32.599
And when I had my dental practice, you know, people

648
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:35.519
would come in and this was just kind of a

649
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:38.480
side of what I did working on teeth. They'd come

650
00:33:38.519 --> 00:33:42.000
in out I've got headaches about major you know issues here,

651
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:45.200
And I said, so, what do you think the problem is?

652
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:48.599
And they say, well, I have TMJ and I'm going no,

653
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:53.599
you have two one here and one here temporal mandibular joint.

654
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:54.759
Now what's your problem?

655
00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:57.880
Well, I have headaches and okay, so let's get to

656
00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:02.319
the red cause. And I find is so often, you know,

657
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:08.639
we talk about reality versus perception, and particularly as a child,

658
00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:13.400
you know, their perception is what creates their beliefs and

659
00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:16.559
yet their perception and we find this one, we do

660
00:34:16.719 --> 00:34:19.880
NLP and go back and realize that, Okay, here's your perception,

661
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:24.079
but what was reality? What was really happening? Or what

662
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:27.360
could we assume was reality? I had I had a

663
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:30.119
client that I worked with that we did the NLP.

664
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:33.559
We went back. He was making terrible decisions, and we

665
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:38.239
went back to early childhood elementary school where his teacher

666
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:42.719
was particularly cruel. And as we went through that and

667
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:44.960
he realized, what has nothing to do with me not

668
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:47.480
being good enough, It had everything to do with that

669
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:52.000
personality and emotional state of that teacher. It changed his

670
00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:57.159
whole perception into reality, and it changed the decisions he

671
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:01.280
was making to being very successful. How do you help

672
00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:06.840
people to differentiate between reality and perception? I mean, we

673
00:35:06.920 --> 00:35:09.239
see this today. I see it, well, I don't know

674
00:35:09.239 --> 00:35:11.239
what's going on in Australia, but I see it in

675
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:15.440
the US. Oh my goodness, the perceptions that people have

676
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:20.199
versus the reality. How do you help people to move

677
00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:23.840
from perception to reality?

678
00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:24.800
A good question?

679
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:31.039
Uhh yeah, definitely. Well, you know my favorite is my

680
00:35:31.159 --> 00:35:33.880
clients that come to me and they're like, oh my goodness.

681
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:36.840
I'm talking to this person on social media and she

682
00:35:36.920 --> 00:35:40.639
hasn't responded to my message yet, but she's talking to

683
00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:44.199
everyone else. Will she respond to my message? And I'm like,

684
00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:47.000
I don't know why. And then the message that always

685
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.000
comes through from that person's from my intuition, will be

686
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:54.920
why do you care so much? Like why are you

687
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:58.679
putting all your energy into this perceived reality of what

688
00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:01.320
you think is happening. Some times it's easier to stay

689
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:04.519
in the dream than actually come back to reality, and

690
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:07.880
especially a lot of the times, people forget to mourn

691
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:11.320
the dream that that didn't happen, you know, they forget

692
00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:14.079
to grieve. You know, Okay, I built this house. I

693
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:15.760
was going to live here forever, and now I'm not.

694
00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:18.400
I need to grieve that dream I had to go

695
00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:22.159
through that, you know, I married somebody, And now they like,

696
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:25.519
we actually grew apart, we didn't grow together. I need

697
00:36:25.559 --> 00:36:27.840
to mourn that and allow the time and that. And

698
00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:30.119
then they forget to find the blessing in that too,

699
00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:32.880
So then they will also create the stories around how

700
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:35.880
bad that person was to justify their decision instead of

701
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:39.159
maybe you just weren't feeling that anymore. And that's okay.

702
00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:41.960
You know, why do you have to have the justification there?

703
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:44.360
You know, why do you have to have all these things?

704
00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:47.960
So often the perception is because they're still stuck in

705
00:36:48.039 --> 00:36:51.920
a reality that hasn't happened, or it's a reality they

706
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:55.440
created in such a way just from you know, might

707
00:36:55.440 --> 00:36:58.360
be technologies talking, or they just let their dreams not

708
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.440
be anchored into what right in front of them. So

709
00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:04.119
it's okay to dream and have their visions and everything,

710
00:37:04.199 --> 00:37:07.039
but if you actually haven't spoken to the other person,

711
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:12.079
then that's not really grounded in truth, is it. You know?

712
00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:14.599
And this is what I teach people. Sometimes we have

713
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:17.480
to come back to our truth as well, because our

714
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:20.000
version of the truth might be different to the next

715
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:22.519
persons and the next person's, But if it feels real

716
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:25.599
and right to you, then check in with what's going

717
00:37:25.639 --> 00:37:27.840
on around you. And like you said, sometimes it is

718
00:37:27.880 --> 00:37:31.960
that perception of oh, you know, my husband stopped talking

719
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:34.000
to me. It's like, well, did you ask him why?

720
00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:37.800
Oh no, okay, Well how about you be a little

721
00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:41.519
bit vulnerable and have that conversation. So sometimes it's about

722
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:44.119
teaching people it's okay to open your heart and be

723
00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:47.199
a bit more vulnerable and put up all the walls

724
00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:50.320
and assume the worst, because that is where our imagination

725
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:53.880
and our ego can often go on a galloping stampede,

726
00:37:54.440 --> 00:37:56.760
and sometimes we have to pull it back and go okay.

727
00:37:57.079 --> 00:37:57.239
You know.

728
00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:01.000
This is why sometimes anchoring and being presents really powerful,

729
00:38:01.159 --> 00:38:03.440
because when you're present in the moment and actually looking

730
00:38:03.480 --> 00:38:07.239
what's happening around you, you're not being judgmental from things

731
00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:09.840
that happened in the past. You're not getting anxious and

732
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:13.119
going into overwhelmed because you're worried about the future. But

733
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:16.920
practicing the part of being present can be enough to

734
00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:19.880
bring you back to oh, okay, now maybe things aren't

735
00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:22.760
as bad as I'm perceiving, or maybe you know, I

736
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:25.719
can have that conversation now because I've actually found a

737
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:28.480
moment where I can breathe and realize I am where

738
00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:30.679
I am. And I was on a panel the other

739
00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:33.280
way and someone said, be where your feet are, and

740
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:36.239
I was like, Oh, how powerful is that? Be where

741
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:41.159
your feta. Instead of getting lost in all the misconceptions

742
00:38:41.159 --> 00:38:43.880
that we can have in the perceptions we're creating, being

743
00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:45.960
where your feet are can bring you back to reality

744
00:38:46.119 --> 00:38:47.039
really really quickly.

745
00:38:47.599 --> 00:38:51.239
Well, and you know, it's it's interesting you talk about

746
00:38:51.239 --> 00:38:56.000
communication and you talk about vulnerability, and you know, it's

747
00:38:56.000 --> 00:39:00.719
so interesting that we're so fearful of being vulnerable enough

748
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:04.800
to have a communication with individuals, whether it's our partner

749
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:07.800
or why or you know, our husband, whatever that happens

750
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:12.239
to be. And yet even that communication with ourselves, you know,

751
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:14.719
and as you've been talking, you're talking a lot about

752
00:39:14.719 --> 00:39:18.320
the communication that you have had with you and you know,

753
00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:21.440
and how that made such a difference. And I think

754
00:39:21.440 --> 00:39:24.159
it's so important that we recognize that, you know what,

755
00:39:24.400 --> 00:39:29.119
communication is so key? But communication, what are we telling ourselves?

756
00:39:29.679 --> 00:39:34.000
And is that true? And then why don't we allow

757
00:39:34.039 --> 00:39:38.199
ourselves to be vulnerable enough to communicate with those that

758
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:40.320
are important to us and say, hey, you know what,

759
00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:44.639
this is how I'm feeling, and I take and I

760
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:47.679
think this is a key. I take responsibility for this.

761
00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:51.960
So often we get into that communication and it's like, look, Catherine,

762
00:39:52.039 --> 00:39:54.199
this is how I'm feeling and it's all your fault.

763
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:57.880
And you know that that's not the way to communicate.

764
00:39:57.960 --> 00:40:00.360
But to be able to take responsibility and say, you

765
00:40:00.360 --> 00:40:03.599
know what, these are my feelings and it has nothing

766
00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:06.519
to do with anything other than me, and I recognize

767
00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:09.280
that I take responsibility for that. I think that opens

768
00:40:09.400 --> 00:40:13.599
up the ability for that vulnerability on the other individual

769
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:17.239
to be able to understand and not push back because

770
00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:19.800
they feel like they're being blamed for it.

771
00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:21.840
One hundred percent. And we have this kind of weird

772
00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:25.280
innate programming in us that we want to win. We

773
00:40:25.320 --> 00:40:28.119
want to win the conversation. Yes, we want to win

774
00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:30.719
the battle, but why not have a win win win?

775
00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:33.960
Why can't everybody win an exactly. I love what you said,

776
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:38.360
doctor Doug about being accountable for your own emotions and saying, yeah,

777
00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:42.519
this is how I feel when this happened. I felt

778
00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:45.480
this way because of X, Y, and Z without using

779
00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:47.800
the word you. And I learned this very early on.

780
00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:51.239
When you use the word you, you did this, you

781
00:40:51.480 --> 00:40:54.559
trigger correct the other person.

782
00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:59.480
That's right, they are already like I did what and

783
00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:02.159
their deference her up right, You've already shut down the

784
00:41:02.280 --> 00:41:05.199
ability to actively listen to because you went into the

785
00:41:05.239 --> 00:41:06.519
blaming kind of role.

786
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.920
So this is where exactly like you said, taking that

787
00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:13.960
radical responsibility for your emotions and for you because in

788
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.719
the end, the only thing we can control is ourselves.

789
00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:20.599
We can't control other people. You know, it's really about

790
00:41:20.639 --> 00:41:24.440
coming back to what can I do for me and

791
00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:27.039
what can I do to work on me to create

792
00:41:27.079 --> 00:41:28.559
a new reality around me.

793
00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:30.559
Well, and I love that.

794
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:33.400
I think that's kind of a final message that I

795
00:41:33.440 --> 00:41:36.639
would take for this podcast and for the audience today.

796
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:40.239
So how do people find you? And do you work

797
00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:45.039
internationally or strictly in Australia and how do people find

798
00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:45.519
your book?

799
00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.719
Yeah, thank you, doctor Doug. Now I work most of

800
00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:50.800
my clients are weekly in America, so.

801
00:41:52.679 --> 00:41:53.440
I wonder why.

802
00:41:56.719 --> 00:41:59.639
So you can hang out go to my website if

803
00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:02.599
you like, which is Willowhealing dot org, or you can

804
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:04.679
come find me on Instagram. I do hang out there

805
00:42:04.679 --> 00:42:08.320
a bit. Just my handles, Willow Healing sh and my book.

806
00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:10.920
You can get through my website if you'd like assigned copy,

807
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:14.280
go through there. Otherwise it's on Amazon, your favorite ebook

808
00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:18.000
reader and all those fun places. So and soon hopefully

809
00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:20.960
in more bookstores because that is my current goal at

810
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:21.440
the moment.

811
00:42:21.639 --> 00:42:25.280
So wonderful, Well, Katherine, thank you so much. This is

812
00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:28.119
this has been a wonderful conversation. I think we could

813
00:42:28.119 --> 00:42:31.440
go on for hours, but obviously we're not going to.

814
00:42:31.719 --> 00:42:34.360
So thank you so much. I appreciate you being on

815
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:38.280
the show, and more importantly, I appreciate that you're making

816
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:40.000
a difference in other people's lives.

817
00:42:40.199 --> 00:42:41.559
I think that becomes the key.

818
00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:44.480
Thank you, doctor Doug, and thank you for allowing me

819
00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:47.639
in your space. I truly appreciate the conversation too.

820
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:49.599
Thanks so much. Take care

821
00:42:57.079 --> 00:42:57.119
With