Treasure Map to Joy

0:01 This program is designed to provide general information with regards to the subject matters covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

0:44 Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Stacy, Welcome to the show. Thank you, Doctor Doug. So good to be here. Hey, it's great to have you here. Uh, looking forward to this. You know what I find interesting is everyone that I've ever interviewed always has a particular approach to what they're doing. And what I have found is for some people one does not work, but another one does. And so I'm really looking forward for you sharing what your approach is and how does help people and how it's helped you. I'd love for you to share with the audience who you are and what is that awe moment or gradual moment that caused you to get to the point where you are today and the way that you're wanting to help people.

1:36 Yes. Absolutely, my name is Stacy Schifflet. I am the founder and CEO of a company called Modern Consciousness. And yeah, let's see the idea for this company and the name and my theory of modern consciousness and all of that was gifted to me in meditation and the catalyst for a lot of my personal change. I'm kind of known as the Queen of reinvention. I've reinvented myself many many times. I tend to just naturally do it about every decade. And we'll talk about that a little bit later. But I had my twenty eight year marriage imploded, and that was in twenty twelve, which really it disrupted my life.

2:24 I guess is is the best way, but that the most concise way, And yeah, I you know, I did all the things that I thought I should be doing to recover from that and to set myself up in a new home and so on and so forth. And I discovered about two years in that although things really appeared good from the outside, they weren't on the inside. Right. I was still very angry. I had a lot of resentment. I had adopted some habits that probably were not the healthiest. Right. I was single and out and party and having fun, and I had some great friends and we had some great times. But I really couldn't see my future, right.

3:11 I couldn't see where it was going. I had a construction company at the time, and yeah, that company really afforded me the opportunity and the luxury. I truly was an owner and not an operator. It generated a good income, and it truly afforded me the opportunity to dive very very deeply into personal development. And I remember the first person's office I walked into that was, you know, a theta healer and a personal development coach. He's like, why are you here, and I said, well, because I'm tired of being angry. Right. I think often when we get tired of our own stuff, you know, we make a change.

3:58 And so that was the star of that journey, which now has been over a decade. And you know, I spent two years as a Tony Rabbit, Robin's platinum partner, traveling the world. I've studied all sorts of modalities from energy healing to neural linguistic programming, you know, you name it. I've invested a lot of money and a lot of time and all of that. But that's that's how it started. Wow. Wow. And and you're writing a book or you've written a book, you've got one coming out? Yes, I have, Gosh, I think I have four compilation books that I've done so far, but I'm I'm finally biting off a solo book and it is okay, yeah, Treasure Mount to Joy. And I actually do have a book coming out, oh probably in about another thirty days.

4:49 I think they've gone to print now, and that is a compilation book. I guess this will make five compilation books. And that one is Mindset Matters with Jack Canfield. Oh great, great, great, great. Well, you know, and it's fascinating how those experiences. You know, some people have those experiences and they become victims, and they find them their lives just victims, and they always make choices that prove to themselves that they're victims. Obviously, what you did was decide I'm not going to be a victim of this. And obviously with all of the studies that you've done, you come to a different field. So as you think about that, what is modern consciousness?

5:34 You know, modern consciousness to me really is living life with intention, you know, it truly is getting to know yourself. It is stepping out of what I call the aspect I call automaton two point zero. Right, it's when we're on autopilot and the momentum of our lives is really being driven by the act activities that are already in play. Oftentimes we're still executing against decisions we made decades ago, and we're really not taught, at least I wasn't, uh, you know, really not taught to sit and contemplate and reevaluate our lives in a holistic manner. As we proceed through life, right, we we keep chasing things that we think will make us happy, and we think they'll make us happy because we've been taught that that is, you know that that level of success or whatever it is you know will will make us happy, whether it's if you have six children or a career or you know, whatever it is, and all of that is, it's it's natural.

6:47 Right. We're born into this world helpless, so it's it's it has to be that way, right. We have to have people care for us and bring us up, and then we're put into institutions, whether they're are you know, we're raised in a church or school, and you know, we have to be molded and shaped because we come into this world completely helpless. And I think it's just a natural transition of things, right. And at some point I find that a lot of people that little voice in their heads starts, you know, saying, gosh, there's got to be more to life than this, right, There just must be more than this, because we're running ourselves ragged trying to keep up with what. I don't really know because you know, we haven't sat and really reevaluated it and thought about what is it that we want in this season of our life? Right, because the seasons of life change.

7:47 Well, that's true. We have multiple lives in this life, don't we. Yes, Oh, gosh, I've lived Mini. I've lived Mini. Yes, you know, I laugh about that. It was interesting. I've spent a lot of time in Thailand and and as I've been there. I've you know, obviously loved to study different religions and so forth. And one of the things I found was that there was an individual that took the original Buddhist teachings and really explained those in an English way. And one of the things I found fascinating is that, you know, he says, you know, Buddha talks about multiple lives, and everyone talks about multiple lives, says, but what he's really talking about is multiple lives within this life, how we can literally change and create a new life for ourselves. And I thought that was fascinating because you know, I've never heard that before.

8:39 You know, I've never heard it put that way. I have often said I feel like I've lived multiple lives in this life. But I have chills running through my body as you say that, and you know it's true. I mean, I've done so many different things, right. I started out as a as a cocktail waitress and a bartender, and you know, was waiting table bulls and I was making good money, I thought, so I quit college, right, you know, and sort of stumbled into the it world trying to get a job. It was a friend of my mother's from church that actually, you know, welcomed me into her office, a small woman owned contractor government contractor, and she was a very small company. I had studied a little bit about computers when I was in college, but I didn't really know. But I just learned and learned quickly and just soaked it up. And as she lost people, I kept growing. And within a year of starting in a completely new career in a completely new area.

9:46 I actually this is going to date me, but I installed and supported the installation of the first IBM PC XTS desktop computers at the Department of Health and Human Services, and I did all of the user training, I did all of the you know, help them with all of the applications as far as how to transition their job to use them. I didn't do the technical pieces right. And that was within a year, within a with a complete career change. Well, and you know, it's fascinating. The one thing that comes to my mind is as I've observed people who, for instance, in your case, you know, you were doing well with your construction company, which gave you the ability, which was a real blessing, to be able to go out and start researching more. And it's fascinating how I think there are many people that say, well, I don't have a college education, so you know, I need to have that in order to be successful, And yet those that have had college educations or partial college educations. I can't tell you how many of our leaders right now in personal development were chiropractors who quit their chiropractic practice and started doing the same type of studying that you're doing and following different you know, gurus and now have done an entirely different thing and are making an entirely different type of difference in people's lives. And that's what

11:16 you did. And I think it's important for people to understand that. You know, what all you have to do is be curious, and ultimately with curiosity, and if you're willing to really look into whatever his industry you you can find yourself as successful as you choose to be. You know, I agree with that one hundred percent. And I often say our own personal development even when we look within, you know, I use the word curious a lot. It's with open curiosity and it's mindset and it's belief. Right, So I believed that I could do well at that first office job, right, And I did, and I actually that career took a number of course changes for me, and I ended up in federal government acquisition. We had software that automated all of those processes, and I ended up just by chance, really as a subject matter expert in that field because I stayed with it and I did well with it, and that culminated talk about you really can do anything. That culminated for me in doing an acquisition of a fifty million dollar software company without investing a penny. I literally just woke up one day and said I need to buy this company. I didn't know how. I have goosebumps again as I'm telling you that, I just knew it was meant to be and I did it. You know, I pulled in an associated mind that had things that I did not like. He had

12:47 an MBA and you know, I had no college degree, and we did it. It took nine months, and we had a lot of opposition, but it that way. People thought we were absolutely crazy. He many many times he was like, we're never going to be able to do this, and I said, We're doing it. And we did it. Wow wow, And you know, and that brings up the point of how can we literally change our lives, create a new life for ourselves. And I think so many times people create new life sure themselves and find that. You know, it was the statement you better be careful what you wish for because you may get it. And so what what makes me curious is as you were talking about things, you talk first of all about how in a meditative state, a very important message came to you.

13:43 And I'd love to talk about that a little bit more. Sure, Sure, what would you like to know about it? What happened? You know? It's it's it's uh. That came through for me after a trip for India. Uh to India really that I went to with Tony Robbinson. It was a spiritual trip and I also did a mission trip there with an organization called FREEO Girl that works with human trafficking victims. And wow, what an eye opener that is. Right. One way to open your mind and to appreciate and have gratitude for the things you have and to have compassion for other people is to expand your worldview to see what others in the world experience. That was. That was such a profound, profound trip for me, and I can talk to you more about that if you want.

14:43 But you know, I I this idea came in, as they do for me. I will, I will get the words, I'll get an instruction. And it was like, you know, you need to start this company. And I'm like, what is this modern consciousness? I have no idea. I felt compelled to start writing the information that I was receiving, and that included aspects of modern consciousness, which are automaton two point zero and then we move into an awakening soul and you know, illuminated adept and transformer and it's nonlinear.

15:23 You know, all this all this information. So I started capturing it and it was a very interesting concept. And then I was like, okay, let me start researching this field. And so I did you know, I'm I'm an analyst by heart. So I started, you know, researching the personal development field and coaching and you know, like companies and who I might like to model and and you know, I was sort of told some of those things, and I resisted it. I resisted it for probably two years really, and I kept arguing with spirit or I would say, I am not your girl. I'm not your girl, right, I'm you know, sixty years old or what I'm sixty seven now, so I was in my you know, mid sixties, and you know, I'm like, oh my god, I don't I don't know that I want to start another company.

16:19 I don't. I don't know that I want to do this. I don't know that I can do this. Right. So I had a lot of internal resistance. And I'll tell you something about resistance, and that is the opposite of that which is surrender. So I was here in my home one day, and this was probably a couple of years ago, maybe a little bit more, and the idea consumed me and it would not leave me alone. So it was something I was doing all the time, right, I would write and get information and try to assemble it and you know, listen to what I was hearing and make sense of it, and you know, so that body of work and beliefs of began to grow. So I finally was meditating here one day and I said, I for cried out loud. I have some of the most interesting conversations with you know, with whoever's up there. Right, Oh, you're not going to leave me alone, tell me what to do, right, just you're not leaving me alone. The idea literally would not release me. And so I got one word, which was right, and I said, okay, all right, you've told me to write before. But I surrendered, And I literally said, I surrender. I will write. I don't know what I'm writing for or two I've been writing, but I'll write some more. And within an hour of me surrendering to accept this mission. I guess it still sounds crazy, but I got a text message from a

17:50 friend of mine that said, Hey, I've got a friend that's a publisher in Canada and she's doing a compilation book with Les Brown. Would you like to be on the project. I'll introduce you. So at that point I kind of rolled my eyes up to the sky and said, well, that's kind of cute, right, very funny. Obviously I joined the project. I could not say no. And it was that chapter really released in me what I thought would be a book about my recovery from my divorce. And it was during the time of writing that chapter that I realized that I could launch a company in conjunction with the launch of the book. So that's what I did.

18:34 That's what you did. So here's the question, is you work with people, And we were referring to this a little bit earlier. When you work with people and you're helping them to quote create a new life, because obviously the life that they have, that we've all created to a large degree, has to do, as you say, with our upbringing, with the religion, with the school, with the parents, with the family, with the society, all of that. When you're working with people, how do you help them to get to the point where they really understand what their genuine internal values are rather than what they've been told they should be. Okay, how do you help them to get to the point where they can identify what those values are so that they can start to align their new life with those values, so that you know, as we said, you know, be careful what you wish for because you might get it. Well, this time, what they wish for they actually love because they got it well.

19:34 You know. It's interesting to use the word values because I believe that when we become so out of alignment with our values, are deeply held values, and we sort of lose track of those along the way, right, They're always there, but we lose track of them a little bit, and our deepest desires, you know, when the further away that we get from those and we have clues throughout our life that tells us that I think that that's when we go into crisis or when you know, when we have a lot of anxiety or unhappiness. I start all my clients with a whole life assessment. I mean we really everybody's seen a wheel of life probably that's done any personal development work, and it's a five minute exercise, and you know, the object is if any portion of that wheel, you know is out of balance in your life, is like this. But I go much much deeper into that and really look at every component of your life right, your your financial, your relationships, your family, your job, you know whatever. There's a whole number of life domains there, and I look at those and really ask people, you know, when when's the last time that that you perhaps have stopped and really looked at all of those things in great detail and meditated them and thought about them and journaled about it and really dug deep to reveal what

21:07 was going on in that area of your life. And the other thing that I do is, you know, people tend to know what's irritating them, but they lose track of what's going really well, right, what's irritating us and aggravating us seems to outweigh all the goods. So I really look at the good as well, and I think that that's important. And so that's kind of the foundation for the work, is really taking a good look at what's going on. And then we move to those life domains and we start looking at aspirations. What would you like to be doing in that area of your life? And I look at it not just in terms of activities, but how do you want to feel about it? Right, we lose track of how do we really want to feel about something? So we delve into that and then the next piece of my process I call architect the bridge.

22:03 So we start to look at all of that. Now, I'm one thing that has served me really well throughout all my different careers is you know, I can kind of see a big picture and I can see the details, and I can see patterns very very quickly, and it has served me really well. So we start looking at patterns, because if something showing up in one area of your life, it's showing up somewhere else. It probably just looks different and it's disguised. So we start looking at those patterns and then you know, we create a bridge, We architect a bridge to move you in a practical and efficient and effective way toward your aspirations. And if we find patterns in there, which we always do, we can choose a pattern to work on and bring your awareness up on that and realign your life with the way you would rather that pattern be working and make it work for you instead of against you, to move you in the direction that you want to go in.

23:10 How many times when you're doing that, and where you start to observe patterns, because we all have patterns in our lives, right and oftentimes those patterns are not really doing this well. In other words, sometimes these patterns are really causing us grief and we're not really happy with the outcome, and so on and so forth. And as you do that, if do you often come up against a situation where you realize that that pattern was based on a quote purpose or value or whatever that happens to be belief, and that it goes the very pattern that is causing negativity in their life is actually something that came as a child or as growing up, And how do they recognize that that pattern has to be changed and that belief that they've been living with for their entire life may not be the correct belief for their life.

24:10 Yeah, it's you know, it almost it is almost always tied to a belief or some sort of self sabotaging behavior, right, And I think that once we begin to realize, you know, when I work with my clients and once they really begin to realize the impact of it, Yeah, it's helpful to know where it originated from, and we can do some work on that, but it's not actually necessary in every case. Right, Let's take let me see, let's take a client that you know, a woman that's an entrepreneur and she has a small business and gosh, you know, she's just not achieving what she wants to achieve. And this is this is an examp I'll give you. And you know, she can't hire anybody, she doesn't have enough money to hire anybody, and and you know, she's just got too much to do, and you know, she's just drowning.

25:12 And when you really start looking at that, you know, what are you contributing to that? You know, that's a really important question to ask, and that's how we get down to some of that. So in her case, she's not hiring anybody because she has trust issues, right, she doesn't trust that anybody. She's a perfectionist. Actually, she has a self Cytodoget behavior. She's a perfectionist. Nobody can do it as well as she can do it. Right. Well, you can't grow your business with that belief, right, you just can't. So sometimes it's just the practical reality in there, right, and the money issue. You know, her money issue. She's very frustrated. So she was spending a lot of money on luxury items, you know, so don't do that for a little bit, right, Let's let's not spend some of that money, and let's try to hire someone for you part time and communicate with them and nurture that relationship so that you do create a valued and trustworthy employee. And it can be done. I've had many over my different careers, So you know, do we need to really figure out where it comes from? Sometimes they will figure that out, right, it's you know, whether they got yelled at as a child for you know, they had to have straight a's.

26:36 Or what have you. But you know, we're adults. So at some point, just let's let it go and let's not blame anybody for it. Let's just look at our behavior and what it's contributing to our lives, because that's really all we have control over. Well, And I know, as I was on your website, I noticed you advocate ef T, NLP, mindset, consciousness, all those types of things, and those are actually activities that I know many individuals who are mentoring or guiding used to help someone to really discover those beliefs that are not good for them, that are actually self sabotaging. So have you found any of those work well? Or do you find that you use a combination of all of those things as you're working with people?

27:28 You know, I kind of use a combination a lot of the Theta healing training. The Theta healing training that I did, and I have a number number of certifications, probably fifteen in that modality alone resulted in an enormous amount of healing within me, and I love the modality. It also took a few years. Yes, overnight doesn't work, does it necessarily? I think we can do it a little faster than that, right and tapping, I love EFT. Emotions definitely get stuck in our bodies and it is a great way to release it and if we storytell through tapping, that's actually an amazing practice. If the person, you know, a person learns to do that, it can't necessarily be me tapping them through that. But if I teach them how to do that and they can sit with it, your mind and your body will delve into that and it will start revealing the secrets to you. So you know, those modalities are really very very helpful.

28:44 Well they are, And as you talk about EFT, it fascinates me because you know, I've heard about it, I've tried it, but really don't know how to do it, okay, And I think a lot of people listen to that, and I know that there's tremendous science out there showing value and the validity of that. But how on earth does it work? And how do we learn to not only just tap, you know, wherever we're going to tap, but also what are the words we say to ourselves or what are the words that we're saying to the universe or whatever that is? How does that work? You know, some of it is a bit mysterious, isn't it.

29:25 You know? There you know there's a sequence and you know, we'll take something really simple, like if you know, if you're terrified of a dog, right, you know, you start tapping out and so you know dogs are scary. A dog bit me. You know, you go through the tapping and as you go through each phase of it, right, you just kind of keep repeating and you're releasing it. Right. It opens your subconscious up. My belief is that it does open your subcon just up, and you can go back and remember that time and tap through it and the words come to you, the words and the images will come to you just naturally. It's it's magically, it really is magic. But our subconscious knows everything right, it's back there and it's trying to protect us all the time.

30:26 So you know, I talk a lot of bringing the dogs up here again too. I talk a lot of everything's perspective, right, everything's perspective and what creates joy for us? Right? That my treasure map to joy. That's the outcome of the of the program that I do. Is it's unique to each of us. Right. So you can have a fluffy little dog with its tail wagging and giving you all sorts of positive signs, run up to two friends. One friend she loves dogs. You know, she'll bend down pettit, kiss it. You know she's it brings her joy. You know that dog brings her joy. The other friend may have been bitten by a child or as a child, and she's terrified of the dog. The situation is the same. We have a friendly dog wagging its tail that's not going to cause anybody any harm. The reactions are completely different because it's our world view. So that's why I think it's so important to really delve into those things and figure that out.

31:37 And if you're happy being afraid of dogs the rest of your life, go right ahead, work on something else. Right. If you don't want to be then you know you can take small steps in a direction to change it, and you know that analogy will work across the board. Right. Well, that's true, and I know you've talked about and you may be already have covered that, but I know again when I was on your website, I was looking at this four states of being? What are they? And you have you identified those? Because one of one of my beliefs is that we have been brought up so much to do you know, do this, do that, And particularly when you look at religion particularly, it's like you've got to do this, you got to do that, you got to do that, And there's a little focus on being, on becoming. And yet what really struck me is when I saw those words four states of being, What what are those? If you haven't already covered them, or let's cover them.

32:35 Yes, it really, you know, it really is being and you're you're right. We're taught to do right, We're taught to you know, do our homework, get good grades, you know, go to college, get you know, that's what we're taught to do. But we're not really taught to be with ourselves. So the first phase of that, and they're really I call them aspects. They're not sequential, they're not linear, because we can be in any of these aspects of modern consciousness at any time. One part of our life can be in one area and one part can be in another. So the automaton two point zero is it's really running without that part of your life. You know, part of your life is really running without any intentional conscious direction from you. It just is right, it's already in motion and you're being pulled along with it. And oftentimes that's when you know, we really begin to get dissatisfied. Right, we might be in a career that you know. I had a friend of mine years ago, she was an attorney and she worked and worked and worked and worked.

33:54 And worked, and they the firm she was in, abused her and abused her and abused her, and it was she was miserable for years, miserable, and it took forever what seemed like forever, for her to actually step out of that. And there was a bigger life crisis involved for her in that which caused her to finally step out. Right, So it impacts everything. So that's the automaton. Right when we think we don't have choices, we have to keep putting that foot in front of the other and just going down that path. We do always have choices.

34:35 So the next aspect I call is an awakening soul. And I think there is a push to get us into that aspect, and that is some level of dissatisfaction, some crisis, some anxiety, some happiness. We finally start listening to the voice in our heads it says, oh my god, what are you doing? There has to be more, and that put pushes us into the awakening soul. And that's really when we begin to explore and and learn and start to collect some knowledge and learn about things that we probably weren't taught before. You know, I learned a ton of things through that phase, right, So you know, meditation, I didn't know anything about meditation. You know, it's kind of dagone hard to be still, but then you you discover you know, I can remember I discovered that I could feel the energy moving around my body. Right, And we're not we're not really taught that, you know, at least in this culture and whatnot. So you know, so that's the awakening soul. And then in that aspect of modern consciousness, we begin to make some changes in our lives, right, and we begin to adopt some new behaviors that are healthier for us. And by healthier, I mean they're bringing us close are to our center of being and our values and our desires and where we want to be.

36:05 And we start to embody some of them, right. And when we start to embody some of them, I call that aspect the illuminated adept. And an illuminated adept continues this learning, right, And the thing that is so interesting about this, and I think this is probably why so many of us get into this this business. Once we start learning some of these secrets and we start feeling better. Doesn't everybody want to feel better? We want everybody to feel better. We want everybody to know this stuff, right, So then we transition it to what I call a transformer, And a transformer has transformed many, many things about themselves.

36:50 I'm a completely different person than I was a dozen years ago. And we also transform the lives of those around us. And whether that's you know, I think that it all begins within and it radiates outward from us into our communities, whatever that community is, whether it's a geographic community, whether it's being kind to your neighbors, whether you're you know, whatever, whatever it is, a nonprofit, whatever it is. And so that's the ultimate is that transformative Where do you find that once they can reach that transformative where they're really reaching out and touching the lives of others and so forth, that they start to really experience true joy?

37:36 And do they finally come to a realization of who they really are and the goodness that dwells within them? You know, I think we do. And it's you know, it's it's interesting because you know, I talk about treasure mount to joy, and of course not all moments are joyful. Right, we have a death in the family, we're going to grieve. You know, there's there are things that make us unhappy. But what we learned through this process is to still stay stay centered and honor those things as well. Right. So, if we stay centered and allow ourselves to process something such as grief, we understand it, we process it in a healthy way. We don't get stuck there. And that's that's the key thing. We don't get stuck, right, But we can honor those moments and reap the good from them and the lessons from them and acquire more Oh, the word, the word is just left my just left my head right now. Virtues, there's all I could think of as values. You know, we acquire more virtues along the way, and all of that just rolls into making us a happier, more joyful, centered, well balanced person.

39:03 So do you have other than yourself? Do you have an example of someone that you've worked with where they really were struggling so desperately and you were able to help them to get to the point that they're now really who they really are and enjoying life and experiencing that joy and piece. Yeah, you know, it's it's it's a process. It really is a process. And the most interesting thing about it is the universe never tires of giving us lessons. So true. So it really is adopting the mindset of continued learning and growth. Right. So that's that's what I see in people that I work with. Right, They they level some things out, they get they get portions of their life under control. They start to understand themselves better, how they relate to the world, and that makes them happier. Right.

40:00 Sometimes it's not even a big change that's necessary. I had actually have two things I'd like to share with you. I had a client who you know, had a great marriage and you know she still does, but he retired, and so that changes the dynamic, right, dynamic. A lot with co Why do you think we had so many divorces? You know, it's interesting. She was still working and loved loved her work, and she is still working, and they were starting to argue, and she was starting to dread going home, Right, she just was starting to dread going home because now, now get this, you're irritated to get home when you get home and someone is happy to see you and wants to spend time with you, right, So let's think about that. Let's talk about that for a minute. So, you know, and I'm a practical gal.

40:58 I'm a real practical gal. So so she was absolutely delighted because we came up with a strategy. You know, set the expectation, you know, let him know, honey, it's Monday, it's my first day back at work this week. It's going to be a rough day. You know, what you could do for me? I would really love it if when I come home you could give me a half an hour to decompress, you know, change my clothes. Could you make dinner for us tonight? And tomorrow night we'll watch that movie you've you know, we'll get carried out and watch that movie that you've been wanting to see. So it changed, just that strategy of dealing with those circumstances changed it completely. Wow, So it's not always a big thing. I had a conversation with a woman a couple days ago. You know, talk to a lot of divorce women, and you know, she's, you know, oh my gosh, you know, I'm remembering happy times of our marriage. Why won't this just leave me alone? Why won't it go away?

42:08 I think she was married twenty five years and I just wanted to all go away. Well no, you know, I meant a lot of women that think that all of those years of their lives were wasted, and it's not wasted. It's fine to cherish the good memories. It's fine to appreciate the difficult times and how you grew through those, right, it might have taken a while, but to appreciate how you grew as a person through that. But it doesn't mean that we dismiss decades of our life because the marriage ended, and I gave her permission, and then she gave herself permission to cherish those memories.

42:58 And the thing that I pointed out to her, you know, she was already in another relationship and she said, you know, I just want to move on. And I said, honey, you've moved on. You have moved on. Right, you're divorced, you've been divorced for a few years, you're in another relationship. You love your relationship, and you're haunting yourself thinking that these good memories that you had in that period of your life are you know, they're troubling you. That I shouldn't trouble you. Don't let that trouble you, it doesn't impact the relationship you're in. Now, you've already you've already changed your life.

43:39 And so it really is it is a mindset, and then it's a mindset. But as you say, then you go in and approach certain circumstances with a different mindset. And as you do that, now you're taking control of your life. Is that a fair statement? Yes? I think so, because a lot of times we just don't know, right, Like she just really didn't. No. Her belief was that she just needed to put all that behind her. She didn't want to have a good memory. She didn't want to miss that part of her marriage at all. There was a lot of bad in that marriage, but she didn't want to miss the good. And we're such an either or society, right It's you know, we either release everything that had to do like in her instance, we either release and let it go and we're not ever going to think about that twenty five years of our life. You know, we either do that or oh my god, doesn't mean I'm still in love with him? Well, no, you know it can be both. We can I love.

44:37 That both And it's not either or, it's both, and. Yes, and that is so often the case, and we just don't know that. And sometimes we just need to give people permission like her example, right, give her permission that it's okay, you know, it's okay to cherish that moment. So as we come to a close, unfortunately, what would be a message that you'd like to share with the audience? Oh gosh. So one thing that I work with a lot is our emotional triggers, and emotional triggers really give us insight into our subconscious.

45:21 Right. Our subconscious is pretty much in the unconscious. It influences everything we do, but we're not aware of it most of the time. So I call emotional triggers a waypoint on the treasure map to joy. Right, So if you want to start getting into your head and figuring out what's going on, look at what's triggering you and then ask why why is that triggering me? And then just keep going a little bit deeper. There's actually, I guess I'm allowed to say this. There's actually a free resource on my website, charting your Treasure Map to Joy, that has a little workbook in it about your triggers, and that in and of itself is could be some really profound work.

46:04 Okay, so your website is modern Consciousness modernconsciousness dot com and they can go there and they can take that, they can look at that treasure map to Joy. Right. Absolutely, there's a few resources on there, and then you can you can find me everywhere from my website right, my social media, email, contact whatever. Perfect Stacy. Thanks so much. This has been a fascinating discussion. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you. I've enjoyed it as well, and folks, thanks for listening. I hope this is making a difference for you. Go to the website because there's so much value in what we're talking about today. Anyway, does doctor Doug saying, have a wonderful week and no mistay