Dec. 23, 2024

The Power of Personality

The Power of Personality

Part of truly becoming who you are and meant to be is to understand your personality and values. There are many evaluations out there that say they are valid but often miss the mark relative to accuracy.
Welcome Eric Gee. Eric has very thoughtfully...

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Part of truly becoming who you are and meant to be is to understand your personality and values. There are many evaluations out there that say they are valid but often miss the mark relative to accuracy.
Welcome Eric Gee. Eric has very thoughtfully through tremendous research developed a personality profile which really identifies who you are and the values that are yours, not the values that society places upon you.
https://www.projectyoutopia.com/university

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Thanzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Eric, Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me.

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Doug Hey, I'm really excited about this conversation. It's fascinating

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to me when we start talking about personalities and how

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understanding that can have such an effect in people's lives.

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But what I'd love for you, you know, your background

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has nothing to do with personalities, and so I'd love

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for you to share with the audience kind of who

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you are and you know what you actually do. And

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then how on earth did you get involved with looking

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at personalities and writing the book?

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You know, it's interesting because the way I got involved

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with personality types is more of an on a personal level,

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Like it was something I always felt kind of weird

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when I was younger. I know, weird in a bad way,

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but different, right, And so when you feel a little

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different than you kind of try to figure out why.

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And so I studied it on a personal level. On

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a professional level, I started my own education company, and

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then I started to see that there were ways where

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I could use the personality typing to teach my teachers

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how to understand their own bias better, so that they

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can start understanding their students and understanding like how they

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might have a different value system than the students their

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teaching and not to necessarily push that value system on

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their students, right, And so I integrated for a decade

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into my own education company, and that's where I did

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the research for the book. And yeah, I started writing

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the book, and that's I was able to publish that

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this year.

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So the education company, what is that exactly, and what

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do you do you know.

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It was basically tutoring in the home. So we provided

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in home tutoring for about one thousand students a year.

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Mainly it was students who were of need, generally in

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the local school districts. We worked with maybe forty or

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fifty school districts a year in the southern California area,

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and it would be one on one tutoring, So my

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teachers would have no excuse in terms of being able

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to adjust the lesson for each individual student. Right. It

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wasn't like they were teaching a whole classroom of kids,

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And for me, it was more or less a way

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of connecting with the students. So it's not just about, oh,

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teaching them math or English or English language arts, right,

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It's about teaching them how to like grow as an individual,

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because all these students had separate issues that were not

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necessarily academic, right.

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Right. Oh, that's wonderful, And obviously you've incorporated the personality

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part of it. So your book. Talk a little bit

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about your book. What's the name of it and why

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write it? You know.

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The funny thing is that this might be a longer

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story than it needs to view, but I did I

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actually went back to screenwriting after I started my education company,

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and I kind of stopped doing that because I wanted

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to try something different, even though screenwriting was my academic background.

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And I was writing these pilots and I go to

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bars after writing with my friends and we started talking

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about personality types, right, and I was like, oh, well,

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you know, like I used to own an education company

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and I had my own personality typing methodology. And it

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just started a conversation where people are like, hey, instead

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of writing scripts, you should really write a book on that,

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and I was like, no, no, I'm just going to

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keep writing my pilots. And one of my friends actually

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put the personality types in the show she was working on,

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and then at that point I was like, okay, well,

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I guess if you're gonna put in your show and

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it seems palatable for a public audience, then maybe I

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should write a book on it. And it took me

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a few months and that's when I came out with it.

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And it's basically my own personality typing methodology. It's called

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the Power of Personality, and by reading it, it should

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teach people how to type the people around them, including themselves.

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All right, And you know, My introduction to personality was

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when I was living in Boise. Actually, I was part

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of a networking group and they invited a fellow to

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come in and he talked about personalities and I was

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just fascinated by it. And at the time, I had

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two well, I had you know, four children, but two

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of my boys were not getting along. They were in

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high school a couple of years apart, and they were

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not getting along, and so I thought, you know, I

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wonder if this would help, and so I actually had

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him work with both my boys and it was amazing

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the change that took place. And even today, where they're

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in their thirties, it's interesting to see how they have

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used that in their lives, in choosing their careers and

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all of those type of things. So I'd love for

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you to talk a little bit about what's the important

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We're going to talk about your methodology in a bit,

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but why is understanding personality so important?

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I think it's because our personalities really dictate some of

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our core values of what we want right. And I

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think sometimes there is a tendency for the majority of

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people because a majority of people kind of fit into

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a certain personality category, and there is a tendency for

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them to kind of push that value system on the

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other the minority of people, right, And I think you know,

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you have kids who grow up and thinking, oh, I

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should value these things, even though I actually value these things,

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and then it's that push and pull, right, And if

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you start trying to pursue things that you don't really

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match with your own values, then that's only going to

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lead to unhappiness, right, And it's also only going to

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lead to personal conflict. I think when we understand our

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personality type, we get a core idea of who we are.

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It's like kind of like developing an anchor. And once

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you have that anchor, then you're kind of like safer

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to kind of explore the different people around you. But

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I think there's a danger when you don't truly understand

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yourself to like kind of try to assimilate into places

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that don't really fit you.

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Well, I'm even understanding others. And that was the that

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was the challenge with my boys, is one was a

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specific personality, the other one was kind of the opposite.

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And so, you know, one tended to take things very

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very specially and emotionally and the other one just wow.

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And so it was really interesting to see how that worked,

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but to see them understand that and make that change.

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So let's talk about your methodology. Let's talk about the personality.

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How did you come up with that? Because, as you know,

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there are so many different types of personality profiling, and

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quite frankly, as I listened to this, you know, first fill,

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I thought, wow, this is really great, and then as

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I got involved in some others, I realized, you know,

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some of these and it was kind of at the

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time something really big to have that personality profile, and

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some of them just sucked. They just did not make sense, right.

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They tend to be very I find that they tend

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to sometimes overcomplicate things and try to make it more

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like based on terminology or like too specific, and then

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you just get into the weeds right where you're just like, oh,

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this is just an exercise and intellectual theorizing versus actual

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practical Like I see people like this, I see patterns

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of behavior, I see these things working and kind of

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adjusting from that. But yeah, mine came about based on

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goals and desires, right. I think a lot of them

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tend to focus on traits that we see on the outside.

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But for me, it was more like working with students.

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I tend to see like two kids could go for

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the same things and appear similar on the outside, but

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when you ask them certain questions, their desire is different.

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Like you can have I Obwaus say, like you can

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have four writers who love to write and are really

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into writing, but write for totally different reasons. The reasons

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why Tolstoi might write a novel might be different or not.

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Might They're very different than the reasons why Hemingway right

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write a novel. And in talking to them, you're going

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to say, oh, Okay, they're very different people, even though

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on the outside they're doing the same things and actually

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might appear very similar, but at their core they have

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a different desire. And I think that's what kind of

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pushes people into certain categories or certain groups versus just

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kind of like whether someone is more talkative or whether

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someone's more organized. I think those are important, but I

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think there's a deeper meaning to what we.

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Do right right, So what is the challenge with some

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of these profiling programs? For instance, I'm familiar with one.

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As I moved over to Utah, there was one that

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was so popular and I don't even remember the name

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of it, but I know it was just yell. It

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was red, yellow, blue, and white. M those were the colors.

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And you know I looked at him, I go, Okay,

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the red pretty close, the yellow is pretty close, you know,

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the grange pretty close, but the white doesn't even come

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close to anybody. So what is the challenge that you

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have found and why did you end up developing your own?

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Well, one of the challenges, I mean, I will say

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that it's I laughed because there were four specific colors,

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right that you gave, and I write about that in

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the book. My system also uses kind of a set

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of four, and then it has like four personality types

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within that four, making sixteen different personality types.

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Right.

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But I write about there's a whole chapter based on

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the fact that archetypally, you know, whether it was Plato

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or Aristotle or you know, Hippocrates, we have a tendency

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to split things up into four, right, and with just

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different designations within those four groupings. But I saw that

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pattern of four kind of like the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

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You know, when you think of things like and each

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one fits a certain kind of category. I think one

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of the difficulties I found though, is that, like you

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were finding with the colors, they do tend to focus

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it's the methodology and the diagnostic process, right. I feel

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like that's the thing, Like you can you know if

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you if the diagnostic problem or diagnostic methodology is wrong

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or flawed, then it doesn't really matter the prescriptive measures, right.

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And I feel like a lot of these books have

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prescriptive measures. Then, like let's say ninety nine percent of

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the book are these prescriptions, and the one percent that

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they have in the beginning is like a test that

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you take, right, You take like, I don't know, fifty

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question test and then then you know, then you read

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about yourself. Right, but one of the questions are wrong.

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So the way I wrote the book and why I

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came up with my methodology was in a way I

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was trying to teach people how to be the test

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because I feel like that diagnostic part is way more

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important than the prescriptive part, even though the prescriptive part

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is where everyone wants to get to you. Right, They're like, no,

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don't tell me how to do it. Tell me what

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I am so I can figure out what I'm going

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to do with it. You know, I'm like, well, let's

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take some time to figure out why we are the

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you know, why we are the way we are, and

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that might be more helpful.

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Yeah, and you know, and as you mentioned earlier, there's

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so much that gets involved in that because you know,

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as you look at these personality types and as you say,

225
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literally sixteen not four sixteen, because you have the crossovers,

226
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but also you get into the values, you get into

227
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the purposes, you get into all of those things that

228
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can literally change an individual. So to try to pinpoint

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00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:39.080
them into one specific one of four different personality types

230
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can become very dangerous because that's not who they really are.

231
00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:47.519
Right, And the benefit of doing so the four within

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the four is that at least the very least of

233
00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.480
year within I call them packs, right, because my animal

234
00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:55.600
or my methodology uses animal personality types just because it's

235
00:11:55.679 --> 00:11:58.000
very easy to remember. Okay, you know, like like right,

236
00:11:58.000 --> 00:11:59.600
if you call someone a fox, I think we all

237
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know what the fox is like, right, I mean, even

238
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in like archetyphally and movies and shows, we know who

239
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acts like a fox. But if you're within this particular pack,

240
00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:12.279
then you are going to be similar to people within

241
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that pack because you're going to have the same core value,

242
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but how you go about achieving that value is going

243
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to differ based on the various personalities within that pack.

244
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And I think I started to find that out working

245
00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:27.600
with students, right where you're like, oh, yeah, these students

246
00:12:27.639 --> 00:12:30.559
are similar to each other, but they're different in a

247
00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:33.279
certain way, and that difference makes all the difference in

248
00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:37.600
terms of how to best utilize their skills and strengths. Right.

249
00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:41.360
Well, And you know, I find I'm fassionated about the

250
00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:43.639
fact that you work with students and so forth, and

251
00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:47.159
you know, I think that there's some real keys there

252
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:51.159
that most teachers really do not apply, understand or any

253
00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:55.799
of that. But have you found that based on looking

254
00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:58.080
at the personalitays of the kids that you've worked with,

255
00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.960
which all seem to have some very specific issues, did

256
00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:06.720
you find that they fit into a specific personality profiling

257
00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:09.399
or were they all over the board?

258
00:13:10.279 --> 00:13:13.679
You know? So it was It's interesting because me personally,

259
00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:15.720
I work with a sad amount of students, right, but

260
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as a company, we worked with like a thousand a year, right,

261
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.240
So in that thousand, it generally fit a certain percentage,

262
00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:24.320
like where there be half the students are going to

263
00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:26.159
be like this, and then a third are going to

264
00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:28.559
be like this, and then you have certain minority packs

265
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that will act a certain way. I noticed, like individually.

266
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I hate to say this, but I probably work best

267
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:39.360
and I'm most effective with specific personalities generally based on

268
00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:42.879
my own personality, right I exactly you know, like yeah,

269
00:13:42.919 --> 00:13:46.000
Like it's generally the personalities where I'm within that pack.

270
00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:48.759
So students who so I'll just say that, I call

271
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them the Shawmans, and there tend to be seekers of

272
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:54.440
self knowledge, right, which can be pretty difficult as a kid,

273
00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:57.200
because if you seek your own self knowledge but are

274
00:13:57.240 --> 00:13:58.840
constantly being told this is what you should do. Do

275
00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:02.039
your homework, be responsible, be organized, and that might not

276
00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:05.399
necessarily fit you. That can cause a lot of internal struggle.

277
00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.919
And I think growing up, I also shared that internal struggle.

278
00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.120
So working with students like that was a lot easier

279
00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:12.480
for me, right because I can go like, no, I

280
00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:15.600
know how you're feeling, but I'm a more confident version

281
00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:19.440
of themselves, right I should be. I'm older and supposedly wiser,

282
00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:22.080
and so I do tend to work better with those students.

283
00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:25.720
But I would say that knowing about the personalities, I

284
00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:27.919
will change up based on what I know. So I

285
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:32.399
know certain other personalities work better with maybe a I

286
00:14:32.399 --> 00:14:35.240
don't say the whip approach, but certain personalities work better

287
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:37.480
if you're harder on them because they don't take they

288
00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:40.000
don't take offense. They don't they're not super sensitive. They

289
00:14:40.039 --> 00:14:41.759
will try to get away with that ever they can

290
00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:43.679
get away with. So for them, you got to be

291
00:14:43.720 --> 00:14:45.320
hard on them because they'll just adjust.

292
00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:45.519
Right.

293
00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:47.200
They're like, Okay, he's not letting me get away of this,

294
00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:49.480
so I won't do that. But he's letting me get

295
00:14:49.480 --> 00:14:51.600
away with this, so I will do that, you know.

296
00:14:51.639 --> 00:14:53.600
And it just depends from kid to kid.

297
00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.000
Right, And so the other thing that comes to my

298
00:14:57.120 --> 00:15:01.320
mind is we've got the personality, but we also have

299
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.039
the learning style. And the reason I'm bringing this up

300
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.120
because I know there's going to be some parents listening

301
00:15:06.200 --> 00:15:08.399
to this. And one of the things that I really

302
00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:13.080
believe is most of the time, within our educational system

303
00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:16.759
in the United States, they only teach to one learning style.

304
00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.240
And that's why you have so many students that struggle

305
00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:23.759
and then get medicated because the teachers and everybody else

306
00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.159
doesn't understand that, you know what, it's not the kid,

307
00:15:26.360 --> 00:15:28.879
it's the teacher and the style that they're teaching.

308
00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:33.080
Right. One of my favorite quotes actually is from Baldwin

309
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:35.600
where I'm paraphrasing where he says, the irony of education

310
00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:38.480
is the one the more we become educated, the more

311
00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:40.919
we start to question the system that we were educated in.

312
00:15:41.480 --> 00:15:41.639
Right.

313
00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:44.320
And I feel like with my as it pertains to

314
00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:47.360
the personality typing methodology, it's like I have four packs

315
00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:50.120
and one of those packs makes about half the population.

316
00:15:50.679 --> 00:15:53.759
And guess what, that's the type of population that also

317
00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:57.879
tends to become teachers, and specifically elementary and grade school teachers.

318
00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:01.840
And when you think about it, like they prioritize safety

319
00:16:01.879 --> 00:16:03.919
and security, right, So they're telling kids, Okay, this is

320
00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:06.559
how you learn. You'd learned by the safe, cautious approach,

321
00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:09.440
like write down your homework assignment every day, make sure

322
00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.240
you have everything planned out, make sure you have a

323
00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:13.960
set structure. There's a certain way to do things. How

324
00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:15.879
do we know that it works because it was done

325
00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:18.399
ten years ago, twenty years ago, thirty years ago. And

326
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:20.360
we're just going to keep doing that because it's proven

327
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:22.399
to be correct. And you should do that too, because

328
00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:24.840
that's the safe approach. And I do think it works

329
00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:28.720
with half the population, like a kindergarten class. Half the kids.

330
00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:31.360
Anyone who's talk kindergarten knows half the kids will listen

331
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:33.120
to the rules as you tell them. But then you

332
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:34.679
have about a third of the class that's just running

333
00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:37.639
around and grabbing things and throwing things around. And I

334
00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:41.799
think that third it's very easy to see that that

335
00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:45.720
particular style teaching in our education system doesn't work specifically

336
00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:46.159
for them.

337
00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:49.919
All right, let's talk about your methodology, so weit and

338
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:52.360
get more into specifics on this. So what is your

339
00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:55.879
methodology and how do you identify the different personalities?

340
00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:58.679
So the simplest way I can say it is there's

341
00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:02.039
four packs, and within each pack they have one core value.

342
00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:04.640
And yes we can all value, we can all value everything,

343
00:17:04.680 --> 00:17:07.880
but it's really what we prioritize, right, So the gatherers

344
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:10.359
they're the largest pack and they make about half the

345
00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:14.680
population that I found, and they prioritize safety and security.

346
00:17:14.920 --> 00:17:17.799
So when you think of like the way our society

347
00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:20.640
is structured, I mean the gatherers are the backbone of society.

348
00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:24.880
They're organized, their structures, they're detailed, they're responsible, they're dutiful,

349
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:27.519
they follow the rules, do what they're told and enforce

350
00:17:27.559 --> 00:17:31.000
the rules and maintain order. There's a third of the

351
00:17:31.039 --> 00:17:34.039
population that are called the hunters. And like any good hunter,

352
00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:38.200
they explore. They are really good with tools, They're very physical.

353
00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.599
They tend to learn as students, they tend to learn

354
00:17:40.920 --> 00:17:44.559
based on visceral like grabbing things and moving things around

355
00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:46.960
and like kind of like seeing what works and what doesn't.

356
00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:51.160
Because their core value is excitement, like visceral excitement. They're

357
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:52.599
the type who wants they go on a roller coaster

358
00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:54.799
because they feel like going on the roller coaster is

359
00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:56.519
going to make them feel like they're going to die,

360
00:17:56.799 --> 00:17:59.400
and that's exciting to them. Right The risk whereas you

361
00:17:59.400 --> 00:18:01.079
talk to Gather, and the gather is like, why would

362
00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:02.599
you ever want to feel like you're going to die?

363
00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:04.839
That's the last thing I want to feel like. And

364
00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:08.559
you notice that's already a conflict right there, right, you know,

365
00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:11.480
that's the typical Bert Earning kind of conflict where you

366
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.279
got like the organized, structured, responsible person versus the spontaneous,

367
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:19.119
flexible you know, uh way of the rural the kind

368
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:22.799
of person. And then you have the two minority packs

369
00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:25.759
that make up maybe eight percent of the population each

370
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:28.920
and one is the Shaman pack which I mentioned before,

371
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:32.359
and they focus on self knowledge. And then the other pack,

372
00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:34.880
which is also eight percent, I call them the smiths,

373
00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:38.440
and they focus on information. So you know, you can

374
00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:41.119
see they're very different value systems that each one has.

375
00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:42.960
And as we're working, or at least I was when

376
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.480
I was working with kids, I could see that each

377
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:47.680
one is going to respond to stimuli differently, and so

378
00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:50.000
the key is not trying to make them adjust to

379
00:18:50.519 --> 00:18:53.480
you know, the teachers response, but to make this to

380
00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:54.720
adjust to what they need.

381
00:18:54.839 --> 00:18:59.319
Right. Do you find do you find that those you know,

382
00:18:59.400 --> 00:19:02.240
those sex that you talk about the animals? Do you

383
00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:06.160
find the groups? Do you find that they kind of

384
00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:12.000
correlate with some of the more well known personality systems

385
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:16.480
when you talk about you know, the red, the yellow,

386
00:19:16.599 --> 00:19:20.359
the blue, the green type of thing. Do they fit

387
00:19:20.440 --> 00:19:21.759
into that profiling?

388
00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:25.519
They tend to Like when I look at the whenever

389
00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:28.000
I see anything with thores, I almost that's like my

390
00:19:28.359 --> 00:19:30.160
you know, the sirens go up and I'm like, oh,

391
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:32.119
I wonder how it's gonna fit. And you can kind

392
00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:34.480
of like archetypally see oh yeah, these seem to be

393
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.680
like the gatherers and these seem to be like the Smiths,

394
00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:40.400
and it tends to like I think I'm in agreement

395
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:43.880
with a lot of the results of where personality types

396
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:47.559
or like those structures tend to go. I'm probably my

397
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:50.279
methodology differs in how to get there, like how do

398
00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:53.279
you because I often find that people mistype themselves when

399
00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:55.240
they take tests, and they hate that. Like someone say, oh,

400
00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:57.839
I'm like, you know, the most popular one is the MBTI, right,

401
00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:01.119
So someone will say I'm an IF and then I'll

402
00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:02.880
be like, oh, no, you're not that, and then they

403
00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:04.200
get mad, They're like, wait, you're talking of trying to

404
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:05.839
tell me what I am. I'm like, well, I mean

405
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.359
I don't think you are. And then I explain and

406
00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:10.119
they're like, oh well, and I just asked them one

407
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.519
simple question like were you a good student? And then

408
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.759
based on the response, I'm like, yeah, see your response

409
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:18.319
is telling me nfs don't say that, and then I'll

410
00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:21.039
and then they start seeing patterns, and oftentimes they will

411
00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:25.440
agree when I say that they're mistyped and I retype them.

412
00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:27.720
But really it's more or less how like you know,

413
00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:30.160
we don't often know ourselves right because we're not often

414
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:32.839
comparing ourselves to other people. We just see ourselves, right,

415
00:20:32.920 --> 00:20:35.519
So I think that's what I'm there for. We're to say, like, look, no,

416
00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:37.720
in comparison to this person, you're very different, you know.

417
00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:42.039
Okay, so you're using letters right now to identify what

418
00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:46.359
what does that personality profile? Which particular one is that called?

419
00:20:46.440 --> 00:20:48.480
Oh I'm sorry so I said if because that's the

420
00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.839
MBTI version and that's what people know. But in the

421
00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:55.240
NFP for me is called the humpback whale. And the

422
00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.240
way I describe it is, you know, the humpback whale

423
00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:00.440
is the daydreamer. They're like the at their worst there martyr.

424
00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.599
They're the sacrificial lamb, you know, they're very like they're

425
00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:06.160
the Luke Skywalker Harry Potter type. They tend to be

426
00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:08.880
very self sacrificing and they take a lot of things

427
00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:13.480
upon themselves. They're the person who is very spiritual. They

428
00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:15.599
tend to be connected with nature and all those kinds

429
00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:17.039
of things. So like, for me, it's more of a

430
00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:21.559
holistic approach where I just based on patterns of behavior

431
00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:23.960
that I've seen and since you know, used to have

432
00:21:24.039 --> 00:21:26.279
a thousand kids a year, so you know, over a

433
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:29.079
decade of owning that education company. That's a lot of

434
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:32.559
people that we type, and that's including the parents too.

435
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:35.160
I'd often have my tutors try to type the parents

436
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:38.319
and give information back, so at least, at the very least,

437
00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:41.839
I could take the information that my tutors collected and

438
00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:44.119
I could help them try to type the parents, and

439
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:46.279
that way they can kind of see the conflict between

440
00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:47.359
parent and suit it right.

441
00:21:47.720 --> 00:21:52.519
Yeah, And you know, some of the well known people

442
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:55.119
out there that are really promoting a lot of this

443
00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:59.519
self development and so forth use the disc that's the

444
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:04.119
is Tony Robbins does, and there are some others that

445
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:07.799
I won't name, and they actually don't call it that,

446
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:12.400
but the reality is that's what it is. What are

447
00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:14.480
your thoughts on that one, because that's the one I'm

448
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:19.279
familiar with in a certain way. So how do you

449
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.279
compare what you're talking about to that? Are you familiar

450
00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:23.000
with that one?

451
00:22:23.559 --> 00:22:26.559
I am? And it's interesting because that also has like

452
00:22:26.599 --> 00:22:30.000
a four letter dichotomy, right, and it's either this or that, right,

453
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:33.480
And I feel like we're all like everyone's kind of

454
00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:36.240
on the same page, and we sometimes differ just on

455
00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.200
how we get there, right, what's the approach and how

456
00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:41.160
do we diagnose like, you know, like is it this

457
00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:43.079
or that? Or extroverted or introverted?

458
00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:43.359
You know?

459
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.319
And I do like that. I think it's more probably

460
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:52.880
externally based than necessarily internally based. My approach tends to

461
00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:54.559
be more and that's a lot more guessing. I guess

462
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:56.680
you have to try to guess what's inside someone versus

463
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.759
what you see on the outside. So I get like

464
00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:02.319
either more appealing because they're much more observational. And I

465
00:23:02.359 --> 00:23:04.880
think we can observe behavior and then try to interpret

466
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:07.039
that behavior how we will.

467
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:11.599
And the one that I use actually uses that disc

468
00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:15.960
but it brings in it does the same thing you do.

469
00:23:16.039 --> 00:23:18.880
So it brings in the fact that there's sixteen personalities

470
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:23.880
number one and number two. It does the very same

471
00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:27.880
thing you're doing, which is getting into the values, getting

472
00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:31.480
into all of those type of things. And that's okay,

473
00:23:31.559 --> 00:23:33.960
So let's get back into what you're doing and what

474
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:36.920
you're talking about. You talked a little bit about the

475
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:39.039
and I did too, and I brought it up. You know,

476
00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:42.000
you have your extroverts, your introverts, your right brain, your

477
00:23:42.039 --> 00:23:44.720
left brain. How does yours fit into that or do

478
00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:47.359
you kind of deny all of that and go a

479
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:48.039
different direction.

480
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.960
Oh, I definitely wouldn't deny that. Obviously, extraversion and introversion

481
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:54.680
have been around for quite a long time. I mean

482
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:57.119
young white a long time, meaning like one hundred right,

483
00:23:57.119 --> 00:23:59.720
one hundred years, hundred and twenty years. Maybe I do

484
00:23:59.799 --> 00:24:01.559
think that, And in the book I write about that,

485
00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:04.839
I do think extraversion introversion got very popular because I

486
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:08.480
think that dichotomy works really well with a certain pack.

487
00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:11.359
So gatherers make up about half the population, right, and

488
00:24:11.400 --> 00:24:14.839
they're also the most likely to volunteer for studies because

489
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:17.559
they're all about doing their civic duty and their community minded.

490
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:19.839
So they're definitely like, oh, yeah, I want to help people,

491
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:23.200
Yeah study me, you know. And so I do think

492
00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:26.240
their value system and the way they respond to things

493
00:24:26.519 --> 00:24:31.319
definitely gets permeated throughout society more than other types. And

494
00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:35.599
I think with gatherers that idea of gaining energy from

495
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:38.599
being around a lot of people versus gaining energy from

496
00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:41.640
being by yourself is absolutely pretty applicable. But I do

497
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:45.559
think that there are other types that does not necessarily apply.

498
00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:49.119
And one I always say is like the Smiths. Smiths

499
00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:52.799
tend to focus on information, right, So with those that

500
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:57.240
like to separate an extroverted version versus an introverted version

501
00:24:57.240 --> 00:24:59.519
of a smith. It doesn't really have to do what

502
00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:02.720
we normal think of as extraversion introversion, whether where they

503
00:25:02.759 --> 00:25:05.160
get their energy from. It's more so how do they

504
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:09.880
process information, because once again, the smiths seek information. So

505
00:25:10.759 --> 00:25:12.799
I have two specific types that I always mentioned in

506
00:25:12.839 --> 00:25:16.000
this example, the chimpanzee and the owl. They're both smiths.

507
00:25:16.039 --> 00:25:20.640
They both seek information. One is extroverted and one is introverted.

508
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:24.680
And yet the difference between them is that the extroverted

509
00:25:24.839 --> 00:25:29.880
smith or the chimpanzee processes information by experimentation. They experiment

510
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:32.759
on things or on people, and they build models, and

511
00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:34.799
then they see whether that model works or not, and

512
00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:36.880
if it doesn't, then they change it up. Whether the

513
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:40.400
owl is more theoretical, they think about like, oh, like

514
00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:43.839
everything's calculated in their mind. They're much more observant. And

515
00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:47.119
I think those two things are very different than how

516
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:49.799
we might define extraversion introversion. Sorry, that was a really

517
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:51.759
wonky explanation.

518
00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:52.920
Okay, And how would you put them as far as

519
00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:53.880
right brain left brain?

520
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:57.319
Oh, right brain, left brain. That's an interesting right brain

521
00:25:57.400 --> 00:25:59.880
left brain is It's tricky, right, because they always say

522
00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:02.279
that Einstein what made him so brilliant was that his

523
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:05.079
what was that the corpus calism was larger. That was

524
00:26:05.079 --> 00:26:06.559
the only thing that was different about his brain. I

525
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:08.880
think his brain was only slightly bigger than the average brain.

526
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:12.160
But they said, is corpus calisim was in large and

527
00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:14.720
that's the one that bridges the gap between the two. Yes,

528
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:17.720
And you know, I don't. Haven't you done many studies

529
00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:20.359
in left brain right brain? Aside from knowing that the

530
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:22.640
genius of Einstein was that he was able to bridge

531
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:25.920
the gap between what we think of right right.

532
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:30.279
All right? And so as you as you talk about that,

533
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.400
you know, you talk about the monkey, you talk about

534
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:36.240
the awl. Where would you put them extrovert, introvert? Right brain,

535
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:37.079
left brain.

536
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:41.759
So the owl would technically be introverted and the chimpanzee

537
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:44.359
would be extroverted. But the I like to use a

538
00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:46.519
lot of pop culture because people know it. So the

539
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:49.680
difference I give is Tony Stark or Iron Man is

540
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:53.599
a chimpanzee. Bruce Banner who plays you know who it

541
00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:55.319
turns out to be the Incredible Hulk, he would be

542
00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:58.119
an owl. And anyone who's ever seen those movies and

543
00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:00.640
the shows knows that those two get along very very well.

544
00:27:00.680 --> 00:27:03.160
They speak the same language, they know they obviously they're

545
00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:07.359
science based, right, they're both scientists. And you see Tony Stark,

546
00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:10.000
and you see he's talkative. But I don't think he

547
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:14.759
would fit into the normal description of extraversion because at

548
00:27:14.759 --> 00:27:16.160
the end of the day, he doesn't want to be

549
00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:17.880
around people. Where does he want to be most fault,

550
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:20.079
He wants to be in his lab by himself, experimenting

551
00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:23.359
and building things. And I think that's how I differ

552
00:27:23.400 --> 00:27:25.960
from the normal approach, is that, yeah, like I think

553
00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:29.200
focusing on where values take us and what pack they

554
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:32.440
put us in, then that's what determines really what we are,

555
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:34.319
because it's all contextual, right. Because I've had a lot

556
00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:37.200
of people say, well, I'm extroverted in this situation, but

557
00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:40.519
I'm introverted in this situation. I'm like, yeah, because really

558
00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.119
where we put our energy is based on our values

559
00:27:43.160 --> 00:27:44.680
and that's all context right.

560
00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:48.039
So here's another question for you. And I don't know

561
00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:51.319
if you get into this, because as I look at it,

562
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:55.559
and as I originally started learning about this, one of

563
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:58.240
the key factors that I found so valuable was that

564
00:27:58.279 --> 00:28:03.240
there were literally three per personality types, and is not

565
00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:05.440
to do with the you know what we've been talking

566
00:28:05.480 --> 00:28:08.799
about that. It has to do with that innate personality,

567
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:12.079
the personality that we think we need to be, which

568
00:28:12.079 --> 00:28:16.640
would be the social personality, and then the conscious personality

569
00:28:16.680 --> 00:28:19.880
who we really choose to be. Do you get into

570
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:20.519
that at all?

571
00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.200
I do in terms I like that idea because I

572
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:27.279
do in terms of like how people grow, right, because

573
00:28:27.319 --> 00:28:29.240
people are always asking me can we change? Like can

574
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:31.920
our personality type change? And I'm like, well, I don't

575
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:32.880
think we change.

576
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:33.640
I think we can.

577
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:36.839
We grow and we either grow into better versions of

578
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.839
ourselves or worse versions of ourselves. And I think if

579
00:28:39.880 --> 00:28:42.599
we grow and we get further away from that core

580
00:28:42.759 --> 00:28:45.720
value of who we truly identify with and we start

581
00:28:45.839 --> 00:28:48.319
changing based on what you said, like what people are

582
00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:50.599
telling us what we should be, I think there's a

583
00:28:50.680 --> 00:28:53.440
danger to that. And I think the closer we grow

584
00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:57.319
into our true self and understanding ourselves will grow into

585
00:28:57.359 --> 00:29:00.240
a healthier version of ourselves. So in that regard, I yeah,

586
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.000
I do like the idea of like that we ask

587
00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:07.799
certain ways in different situations, and generally it's because of

588
00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:08.799
our growth path.

589
00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:12.319
Yes, and you know. I know that I talk a

590
00:29:12.359 --> 00:29:15.079
lot with people that I interview about the imposter syndrome,

591
00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:18.079
and I look at that from the perspective, at least

592
00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:21.400
with my definition that you know, you've got people that

593
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:25.519
behave in a certain way in a social situation because

594
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:29.319
they they are affected that this is how I have

595
00:29:29.400 --> 00:29:31.480
to be, this is how I have to be. Now

596
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:34.039
you take that, and then you take someone who really

597
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:37.839
has the confidence to be who they really are, and

598
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:40.640
they walk into a social situation and they say, you

599
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:43.759
know what, this is how I need to respond to

600
00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:47.039
these people because of who they are, and they consciously

601
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:50.000
do that rather than do it because they happen to

602
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.480
be in that victim mode. What are your thoughts on that?

603
00:29:54.440 --> 00:29:55.119
You know, it's funny.

604
00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:57.880
I also work a lot with students who are working

605
00:29:57.880 --> 00:30:01.240
on their college essays. Strangely enough, love it because when

606
00:30:01.240 --> 00:30:03.480
you work on your college essays, that's a great opportunity

607
00:30:03.559 --> 00:30:06.200
for me to coach them life lessons, right because you know,

608
00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:08.119
the college essays are always asking like who are you?

609
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.279
What do you love to do? And I'm going to

610
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:12.680
relate it back with every student, or not every student,

611
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:14.799
but most students I work with their first instinct is like,

612
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:17.480
what do they want to hear? What does the reader

613
00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:19.359
want to hear? What should I be to them? What

614
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:20.880
do I need to be? And I'm always like, no, no,

615
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:23.680
tell me what do you love? What do you really love?

616
00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:26.000
And they're always so afraid because they're like, no, no,

617
00:30:26.039 --> 00:30:27.200
I have to peer this way, I have to be

618
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:30.599
you say, I'm responsible and industrious and blah blah blah.

619
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:32.480
I'm like, do you think they really want to hear that? You?

620
00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:34.279
Don't you think they're going to believe you? They read

621
00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.519
like thousands or hundreds of thousands of these things a year, right,

622
00:30:37.599 --> 00:30:40.200
Like just be yourself, have the confidence to be yourself,

623
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:44.240
be truthful, like show that you're passionate and don't worry

624
00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:47.400
about what they think. And you know, ideally the students

625
00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:50.680
will listen, but it's after much like of me, like

626
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:53.200
not forcing that, but like preaching it to them. And

627
00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:55.279
I feel the same way is true with personality.

628
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:55.559
Right.

629
00:30:55.599 --> 00:30:58.200
I think we're so focused on like what people want,

630
00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:01.400
that we start to forget what we want. And I

631
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:04.519
think that's just one thing is more effective. I think

632
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:06.079
if you just be who you are, I think people

633
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:08.440
are gonna love that. And two it's better for your

634
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:09.839
happiness right overall?

635
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:13.960
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. So you know, before we started, we

636
00:31:13.960 --> 00:31:17.440
were joking a little bit, what is your personality type?

637
00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:22.759
My personality type? Yeah, I'm about I'm a baboon. I'm

638
00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:24.799
a babboon, and I know I'm just saying random animals

639
00:31:24.839 --> 00:31:26.880
and people are like, oh, I also say like, babboon

640
00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:28.839
is not a very appealing animal. So anyone who gets

641
00:31:28.839 --> 00:31:32.200
an animal, they don't like my aboot, my animal is

642
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:34.839
not appealing, right Like, Baboons are known for flashing their

643
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:38.440
butts at people. Okay, I don't do that, but a

644
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:41.720
baboon is a part of the shaman pack. So shaman's

645
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.440
seek self knowledge. Baboons they seek self knowledge in a

646
00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:47.920
way where they're a little bit more aggressive at seeking it,

647
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.480
and then once they find something they really believe in,

648
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:52.640
then they're a little bit preachy and they tend to

649
00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:56.839
preach and voice their opinions very actively. And that is

650
00:31:56.920 --> 00:31:58.240
kind of what I do. And of course we have

651
00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:01.440
a lot of our weaknesses as well. But yeah, I'm

652
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:04.039
a baboon and you know, my role I feel like

653
00:32:04.119 --> 00:32:07.039
in life is to voice, be a voice to like

654
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:09.720
certain ideas that I like.

655
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:15.680
So definitely extravertish obviously, Yeah, definitely extravertige and kind of

656
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:18.400
a combination to left burn right brain. Would you say,

657
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:22.599
I probably yeah, because I mean we're very abstract baboons.

658
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:24.680
And it's a good example too of you know when

659
00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:28.039
you say extra version, because you know, a peacock would

660
00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:31.759
be another example of it's of an extroverted personality type.

661
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:34.440
But they're part of the hunters, and hunters seek excitement, right,

662
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:38.400
So what would be fun for peacock being extroverted is

663
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:41.240
very different than what be fun for a baboon's version

664
00:32:41.240 --> 00:32:43.559
of extra version, right, Like a baboon can go up

665
00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:45.680
and be a preacher and preach or like give a

666
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:48.400
Ted talk on like recycling or something that they really

667
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:52.079
feel passionate about. That's a different type of extraversion than

668
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:55.279
the peacock's version, which is doing body shots in cabo

669
00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:56.839
on the you know, on the deck of a bar.

670
00:32:57.160 --> 00:32:59.680
You know, that's right, that's their version, and both we

671
00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:01.519
gonna be able to switch places. I'm not gonna do

672
00:33:01.559 --> 00:33:03.279
body shots and they're probably not gonna want to do

673
00:33:03.319 --> 00:33:06.799
a Ted talk, right, And that's that's the difference between us.

674
00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:08.920
You know, Okay, and you said you're gonna tell me

675
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.319
what type I am after we've had a chance to talk.

676
00:33:12.079 --> 00:33:14.039
Yeah, I mean, okay, yeah, I said I would guess.

677
00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:16.440
Yes, it's harder.

678
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:19.759
It's harder now, Like I I I said dolphin in

679
00:33:19.799 --> 00:33:22.440
the beginning, because I do know like you focus on

680
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:27.920
people learning and being educated and like about themselves, and

681
00:33:28.039 --> 00:33:30.519
but you also are pretty analytical and that kind of

682
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:34.680
ranges towards the Smith to me. But yeah, I'm just

683
00:33:34.680 --> 00:33:37.079
gonna go with dolphin, which would be an n f J.

684
00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:40.000
I don't know if you're familiar with your m b MBT.

685
00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:42.400
I'm not. I'm not familiar with that. I'm more familiar

686
00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:42.839
with disc.

687
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:46.359
So oh, okay, oh, I don't know what your disc

688
00:33:46.440 --> 00:33:49.319
type would be, to be honest, but yeah, you'd have

689
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:51.160
to take my test and figure out what animal you are,

690
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:52.319
and then I could guess and then.

691
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:57.200
Well, and it's interesting if we get an extra version

692
00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:04.400
in introversion, innately, I'm an introvert, and innately, if we

693
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:07.440
get into the right brain left brain, I am a

694
00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:11.719
left brain introvert. That's why I went into dentistry. Very

695
00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:14.400
focused on the small things and that type of thing,

696
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:21.320
very detail oriented, that type. But also I'm an extrovert.

697
00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:23.559
So if you were to look at my disc I'm

698
00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:25.159
a d.

699
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:26.320
I.

700
00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:30.239
In other words, I'm a d so I'm up there

701
00:34:30.239 --> 00:34:32.840
in the red and then I'm down there in the green.

702
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:38.480
But an extrovert. And here's the interesting thing. Would you

703
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:41.760
say that I'm an extrovert? No, because we're talking, I

704
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:43.880
can give you my opinion and so forth. But put

705
00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:47.199
me in a room where I don't know anybody. I'm

706
00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:49.239
not out there talking to people. I'm kind of just

707
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:52.480
sitting back and not doing anything. Get me into a

708
00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:55.840
room or into a situation like us where we're talking

709
00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.840
about things that are fascinating to both of us, and

710
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:00.079
I'll talk as much as you.

711
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:04.639
That's that's such a perfect example of why, Yeah, I don't.

712
00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:06.639
That's a perfect example of why I don't always love

713
00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:10.360
the extraversion versus introversion dichotomy, right, because you're both based

714
00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:13.079
on and you're so that's your the fact that you're

715
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:17.000
energized with ideas. That definitely is something that Shaman's and

716
00:35:17.079 --> 00:35:19.519
Smith's would have. Like, that's the thing where because they're

717
00:35:19.519 --> 00:35:22.000
abstract in nature, so they get excited when they talk

718
00:35:22.039 --> 00:35:24.599
about either their feelings or their ideas, and that's when

719
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:27.199
they can, that's when they blossom, right, But most of

720
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:30.440
life is tends to be more external, like the conversations

721
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:32.280
like oh what did you do yesterday? Oh, how did

722
00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:34.079
you like bali? And then people started talking about the

723
00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:36.800
restaurants they went to, and that excites a large percentage

724
00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:40.119
of people. But it might not necessarily get a a

725
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:42.119
smith or a shaman out of their shell. But once

726
00:35:42.119 --> 00:35:43.760
you start tomat ideas and they're like, oh no, let me,

727
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:45.639
let me, let me express myself a little more in

728
00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:49.519
this situation. But you did say you're red, So I

729
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:51.840
mean I would guess a smith, maybe a killer whale.

730
00:35:52.599 --> 00:35:53.920
Have you ever seen Game of Thrones?

731
00:35:54.679 --> 00:35:55.199
No?

732
00:35:55.199 --> 00:35:58.159
No, oh darn. I love to use fictional, but like

733
00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:01.760
I would guess like a killer whale or killer whales,

734
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:04.159
or maybe a chimpanzee. I know I'm saying like three things.

735
00:36:04.199 --> 00:36:07.199
That's like not necessarily fair, but I would guess a smith.

736
00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:10.719
Smith's love information, they love sharing ideas. They love to

737
00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:14.039
bounce ideas off of each other. The only difference between

738
00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:16.480
a chimpanzee and a killer whale is a killer whale

739
00:36:16.519 --> 00:36:19.679
is more of a CEO type. They're very dominant, domineering

740
00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:22.480
and kind of like, let's do this, where a chimpanzee

741
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:25.440
is more experimental. They're kind of like fun. They like

742
00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:28.239
to play practical jokes on people, and they like to

743
00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:30.480
figure out what people are by kind of like frauding

744
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:33.360
them and poking them, you know, like intellectually of course

745
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:35.960
not physically, but that would be my guess.

746
00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:39.760
All right, So let's talk about relationships, and let's talk

747
00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:44.039
about the importance of understanding not only our own but

748
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:51.039
also our friends, you know, individual's wife, partner, whatever that

749
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:55.880
happens to be children, how do how do we determine

750
00:36:55.960 --> 00:37:01.559
and understand not only how we communicate but also how

751
00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:05.800
they want to be communicated too, so that if necessary,

752
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:08.199
we can change that. And I experienced that as a

753
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:12.159
father of four. I as I studied this to the

754
00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:15.639
point where I finally sat down with my kids and said, look, guys,

755
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:21.480
I'm I will offer my opinion instantaneously, and I need

756
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:25.800
you from now on to say, Dad, I either you know,

757
00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:28.519
do you want my opinion or do you want me

758
00:37:28.599 --> 00:37:33.079
to listen and shut up? You know? And and that's

759
00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:35.280
made a big difference, and they still laugh about it,

760
00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:38.760
but it's still very valuable. So as you talk about

761
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:43.440
your personality, profiling, and so forth. What's the importance of

762
00:37:43.559 --> 00:37:46.400
understanding both our own and the other people who are

763
00:37:46.400 --> 00:37:50.400
within that realm of true relationships?

764
00:37:51.159 --> 00:37:53.280
I mean, like you said right there, like I think,

765
00:37:53.559 --> 00:37:57.199
depending on our values, we're gonna take things differently, right, Like,

766
00:37:57.239 --> 00:37:58.760
It's something I a story I can tell from my

767
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:01.559
own life. I'm a'm on self. Knowledge is a big

768
00:38:01.559 --> 00:38:04.840
thing for me. It's like understand, like ethics, like understand.

769
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.440
I mean, in my mind, there's like a right way

770
00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.719
to do things, and I just want to feel like

771
00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:12.840
that I'm being heard and that I'll stand on principle.

772
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:16.000
So a little story of my father. I forgot it

773
00:38:16.039 --> 00:38:17.320
was I was really young and I was arguing with

774
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:19.480
my mom because it's probably something really dumb, like I

775
00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:21.599
wanted to wear a type of shoe to a party

776
00:38:21.639 --> 00:38:24.079
and she said it was inappropriate. My mother's a gatherer.

777
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:27.039
Gatherers focus are very focused on what is appropriate, what

778
00:38:27.079 --> 00:38:29.320
is inappropriate, right, And I get that. I'm not like

779
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:31.199
criticizing it, but as a kid, I was just like, no,

780
00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:33.880
that doesn't even make sense, blah blah blah. And my dad,

781
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:36.760
who's a smith, So I'm sewing three different animal types

782
00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:40.280
and three different packs. Here he's a chimpanzee, so we're

783
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:42.480
very similar in a lot of ways. So we're talking

784
00:38:42.519 --> 00:38:45.480
and I'm like, yeah, what mom says. It's like, she's

785
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:46.960
not letting me wear the shoes that I want to wear,

786
00:38:47.000 --> 00:38:49.199
and that's stupid. It doesn't even make sense. And he's like, Eric,

787
00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:54.000
you're totally right. It makes absolutely no logical sense. But

788
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:56.960
does it really matter. Just say that, you know, just

789
00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:58.519
do it because it's just going to be easier on

790
00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:00.880
both our lives, and just do it. Just do it,

791
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:04.440
and you know, make her happy. I was like, okay,

792
00:39:04.599 --> 00:39:06.639
I will do that because as long as you agree

793
00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:09.639
with me. It's funny because I didn't necessarily care about

794
00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:11.840
the actual thing, right, I was like, Okay, I'll wear

795
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:13.559
the shoes that she told me. It was more the

796
00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:15.519
principle of the thing, and he knew that and he

797
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:17.840
was being much more pragmatic about it. I was like, Okay,

798
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:20.199
as long as you understand that you agree with me

799
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:22.039
and you know that I'm right too, I will totally

800
00:39:22.039 --> 00:39:24.519
do that because it had and I think knowing what

801
00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:26.519
how your kids are can really show you how to

802
00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:29.000
almost ay manipulate them, but connect with them in a

803
00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:31.039
way where you're giving them what they need. And my

804
00:39:31.159 --> 00:39:34.000
dad knew exactly what I needed in that moment was

805
00:39:34.039 --> 00:39:36.360
to just know that I was right, you know, where

806
00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:39.159
other personality types might not want that. You know, they

807
00:39:39.159 --> 00:39:40.800
actually might want to wear those shoes, right, and you

808
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:42.920
might have to treat them a little differently, right. But

809
00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:44.719
I think that's a good example.

810
00:39:45.159 --> 00:39:47.360
So in your book, do you get into that part

811
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:51.159
of it of how we can begin to understand how

812
00:39:51.199 --> 00:39:53.880
to communicate with someone because that's how they need to

813
00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:56.840
be communicated with versus how we may choose to communicate

814
00:39:56.880 --> 00:39:58.320
based on our own personality.

815
00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:01.639
Yeah, the book is very specific in terms of each

816
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:05.519
individual animal personality type. Like it'll break it down and go, okay,

817
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:07.360
this is the difference between this one and this one

818
00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:10.159
is and it just goes down the methodology and as

819
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:12.280
you're reading it you'll start to ideally. I use a

820
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:16.480
lot of examples and personal anecdotes, you know, student you know,

821
00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:20.320
student anecdotes, fictional anecdotes to like, kind of so that

822
00:40:20.360 --> 00:40:22.159
people can start saying, oh, this is the difference between

823
00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:25.000
this type and this type. So clearly, if this type

824
00:40:25.079 --> 00:40:27.400
values this and this type values this, you're gonna have

825
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:29.280
to and you're this one. You got to like be

826
00:40:29.320 --> 00:40:32.559
able to like adjust to this one, right, Yeah, so

827
00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:34.800
it's pretty specific within each animal type.

828
00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:38.920
So interestingly, I as I said, you know, I've done

829
00:40:38.920 --> 00:40:42.039
this podcast for years and one of the fascinating things

830
00:40:42.159 --> 00:40:46.440
I've experienced as interviewing a lot of ladies, particularly who

831
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:52.280
have experienced abuse and who have been involved in codependent relationships,

832
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:55.639
and what I have found is the personality value, you know,

833
00:40:55.719 --> 00:40:59.440
the behavioral evaluations I use. I found that they for

834
00:40:59.679 --> 00:41:04.639
fit very often into a very specific modality. Do you

835
00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:08.480
find the same thing, particularly with people who have different

836
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:13.559
experiences and challenges, that they fit into a specific personality type.

837
00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:17.559
Yeah, you know, depending on the challenge. It generally like

838
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:21.440
every personality type has its flaws, right like, and you know,

839
00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:24.159
and generally our strengths are based on those flaws. And

840
00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:27.800
for that specific one where you know, abuse, especially in

841
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:31.280
a domestic situation, it tends to fit. Not to pick

842
00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:36.480
on them, but the gatherers have a tendency gathers trust, authority, trust, society, trust,

843
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:40.960
social traditions, and in instances like that, obviously, let's face it,

844
00:41:41.079 --> 00:41:45.239
historically women have been in a much more subservient role traditionally.

845
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:49.519
So when you do value traditional values such as that,

846
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:53.400
and a woman has that particular personality that tends to

847
00:41:53.400 --> 00:41:56.920
be more deferential, then they might find themselves in that situation.

848
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:00.360
That personality will find that in that situation quite a bit.

849
00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:02.840
In fact, Like I think the personality that I have

850
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.440
is called the bear. That's the example. They're the bear,

851
00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:07.960
and they're so loving, they're so loyal, they're so kind.

852
00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:11.400
Of course their flaws, they can be overly loyal, and

853
00:42:11.559 --> 00:42:13.960
obviously they're the most likely, like if you're a woman

854
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:17.519
in a domestic situation, to let their significant other abuse

855
00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:19.280
them and just say, oh, you know, but he really

856
00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:22.280
loves me, you know. And that's once again consistent with

857
00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:24.360
their type. Now, all the other types have different flaws,

858
00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:28.320
and we'll find themselves in different problem situations. But yeah,

859
00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:30.280
that would be a good example of like the bear.

860
00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:33.199
Well, and I love how you talked about the fact

861
00:42:33.199 --> 00:42:36.920
that those very strengths that we can determine based on that,

862
00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:40.679
if they go too far, can become weaknesses. You talk

863
00:42:40.719 --> 00:42:43.920
about you know, the red or the dee who is

864
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:48.480
very strong so forth. You know, if they don't check that,

865
00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:52.400
all of a sudden, they become overbearing and unkind and

866
00:42:52.599 --> 00:42:55.360
all of those type of things. And so do you

867
00:42:55.400 --> 00:42:58.519
talk about that in the book, about how those strengths

868
00:42:58.559 --> 00:43:02.960
of our personality and become weaknesses if we don't recognize

869
00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:04.639
that and control it.

870
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:09.199
Yes, there's actually a chapter called the dediant Roles, And

871
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:11.360
of course it's kind of said humorously because I want

872
00:43:11.400 --> 00:43:12.960
to look I try to look at everything in a

873
00:43:13.159 --> 00:43:15.559
humorous light, so make it a little bit easier to digest.

874
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:20.679
And each animal personality type has a flip side, which

875
00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:23.519
would be basically when they've gone wrong, right, because for

876
00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:26.119
every like let's say a stag. A stag is your

877
00:43:26.239 --> 00:43:30.880
typical gatherer. They're very organized, structured, confident, strong. My mom

878
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:33.199
was a stag. They are the school principal type. They

879
00:43:33.199 --> 00:43:35.920
are like the person who's been told their whole life

880
00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:38.599
that their values are right and they should share that

881
00:43:38.679 --> 00:43:42.480
and you know, maintain that order for everybody. That can

882
00:43:42.559 --> 00:43:44.360
lend itself to some problems, you know, if you're a

883
00:43:44.360 --> 00:43:46.760
little if you're not all there. And so their dediant

884
00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:49.519
role I call it the fascist because you can imagine

885
00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:51.719
like that, would you know, if you have that mentality,

886
00:43:51.719 --> 00:43:53.119
it can be very good in a lot of ways.

887
00:43:53.119 --> 00:43:56.239
But it can lead maybe to fascism versus other types

888
00:43:56.559 --> 00:44:00.440
that maybe be over consumptive. You know that I just

889
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:02.840
like be too laid back and just go with the

890
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:06.639
flow and their deviant roles called the tortured artist right

891
00:44:06.679 --> 00:44:09.159
because they just might like just consume way too much.

892
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:12.840
So I do have like every role for every personality

893
00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:14.280
type at their worst.

894
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:17.119
So how do people find your book and how do

895
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:20.559
people find you? Is particularly I would assume parents who

896
00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:25.079
really have a special concern about their children's learning could

897
00:44:25.079 --> 00:44:28.480
find your company. How do people find both?

898
00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:32.159
I got to remember my own websites. You can find

899
00:44:32.199 --> 00:44:36.280
me at a project utopia dot com and that's utopia

900
00:44:36.440 --> 00:44:39.199
you because I think you can find utopia within yourself

901
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:42.440
right and just cover because it'spelled like YouTube. So Project

902
00:44:42.519 --> 00:44:44.719
utopia dot com is my personal website where you can

903
00:44:44.719 --> 00:44:47.719
find my bio and you know, stuff about my life,

904
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:50.880
coaching and my book. You can find anywhere. What do

905
00:44:50.920 --> 00:44:52.559
they say anywhere you purchase books? If you want to

906
00:44:52.559 --> 00:44:54.920
give Jeff Bezis your money, find it on Amazon. But

907
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:57.199
if you don't, Barnes and Noble's a great way to

908
00:44:57.239 --> 00:44:59.519
purchase it or your local bookstore. Just order it from there.

909
00:45:00.199 --> 00:45:01.519
Great and is it inaudible?

910
00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:05.719
Also, unfortunately it is not inaudible. I've been asking my

911
00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:07.800
agent about that and saying, hey, can we put this

912
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:10.000
on audible And apparently I need to get the rights

913
00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:13.519
from my publisher to do it. So ideally I'll put

914
00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:15.599
it on audible within the next year or so.

915
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:17.119
Personally, I'll get with you.

916
00:45:18.199 --> 00:45:21.800
I love audible, oh had I've heard that request quite

917
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:22.079
a bit.

918
00:45:23.079 --> 00:45:28.119
So as we close, what would be that message that

919
00:45:28.199 --> 00:45:30.360
you'd really like to share with the audience.

920
00:45:32.039 --> 00:45:35.039
I would say, find your anchor first, Find who you are,

921
00:45:35.159 --> 00:45:37.400
find what you want, because that anchor is going to

922
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:39.440
keep you away from the storm of other or at

923
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:41.679
least keep you settled when the storm of other people's

924
00:45:41.719 --> 00:45:45.519
values and personalities come calling. And then once you have

925
00:45:45.559 --> 00:45:47.840
that anchor, then you kind of explore your own flaws

926
00:45:47.840 --> 00:45:50.480
and your own weaknesses through other people. But find it first,

927
00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:51.639
otherwise you'll lose yourself.

928
00:45:52.239 --> 00:45:54.159
Okay, And you know, I think that's so important and

929
00:45:54.199 --> 00:45:56.599
I appreciate what you're saying there. I think that to

930
00:45:56.800 --> 00:46:00.440
understand and to be aware of who we really are,

931
00:46:01.239 --> 00:46:03.880
and that goes into all sorts of issues. But to

932
00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:06.880
be able to do that and then take that and

933
00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:09.920
move forward with that, I think is so powerful. So

934
00:46:10.679 --> 00:46:14.320
what a blessing you are to the population out there

935
00:46:14.679 --> 00:46:17.039
that you've written the book, that you've gotten into this

936
00:46:17.159 --> 00:46:20.119
area which a lot of people don't get into the

937
00:46:20.119 --> 00:46:24.320
depth that you do, and particularly where you've included values

938
00:46:24.760 --> 00:46:27.360
and all of those type of things in relationship to

939
00:46:27.599 --> 00:46:31.840
quote personality I think is so accurate for people.

940
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:34.519
Well, thank you so much as are kind words, and

941
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:36.559
hopefully it'll make people laugh as well.

942
00:46:36.920 --> 00:46:40.519
Well hopefully, And folks go get that book. I guarantee

943
00:46:40.519 --> 00:46:43.639
you it will make a difference in your lives. And

944
00:46:44.159 --> 00:46:47.840
this is doctor Doug. Thanks for listening. Hope you'll listen

945
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:52.119
some more as we come into more type of podcasts.

946
00:46:52.559 --> 00:47:03.000
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