Oct. 14, 2024

The 2/10 Rule of Effective Communication

The 2/10 Rule of Effective Communication

Adaptive Conversational Blueprint. A blueprint on how to manage a true conversation. So often we are controlled in our communication because of conditioning and perception.
Jake Stahl has worked with professionals and others to improve their...

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Adaptive Conversational Blueprint. A blueprint on how to manage a true conversation. So often we are controlled in our communication because of conditioning and perception.
Jake Stahl has worked with professionals and others to improve their communication to help them deal with their perception and conditioning that can affect relationships. He has developed the 2/10 rule of effective communication.
Parents, worth listening to gain insight into how we communicate with our children.

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any

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suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Jake Starle, Welcome to the show.

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Oh thank you for having me. This is a real honor.

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Hey, I really appreciate this.

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I think that you're going to have some tremendous insights

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that you can share with the audience today. I'd love

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for you to kind of share the audience who you are,

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your background, and how you got to this point of

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approaching life in the way that you are sure.

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I have thirty years in training and development. I've done

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it all over the world, six countries, somewhere around ten

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thousand people. But it all started in sales. I sold

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for four different companies. I was number one in three

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of the four companies, still a little upset about the

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fourth company. But at one point I was asked to

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do training, and honestly, to make a long story short,

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it kind of took off from there. I got into

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e learning. I won multiple international awards for instructional design,

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and when the corporate life kind of came to an end, involuntarily,

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I decided to go off and branch off on my own.

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So I became a consultant and then a fractional chief

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learning officer. My specialty is looking at the psychology of

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decision making and how that affects a person's want and

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desire to have a product. I have a degree in

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psychology with certifications in neuro linguistic programming, and I've been

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on my own for eleven years now and things are

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just fantastic. I have both corporate and individual clients which

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I coach pretty much daily.

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Oh wonderful. And when you talk about decision making. What

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does that mean helping people with they're decision making?

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Well, we all make decisions based on conditioning, at least

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for the most part. And the best example I can

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give you is you see your cell phone light up

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and it's that person that just talks your ear off

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and you look at the phone and you go, I

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just don't have time for you today, so you don't answer.

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But that condition response is based on past decisions you've

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made with them to talk with them and listen, et cetera.

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And we have a lot of those, right I say,

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how are you fine? Thanks? How are you?

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I love you? Oh?

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I love you too. Can I help you with something? Nope?

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Just looking. So the customer goes through a condition response,

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and it's only once we break them out of that

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conditioning when we interrupt it, that we can have a

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true valuable conversation. And honestly, this applies to your significant other, parent, children.

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We're all conditioned.

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Yeah, and let's talk about that. And I know your

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main focus is business, which is really amazing. Excuse me,

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But what I have found, is I've worked with small businesses,

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is that you can't really separate the two. The reality

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is whatever principles you're teaching in business in some way

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really affects life, and particularly when we talk about communication,

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when we talk about perception and so forth. So let's

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get into that a little bit. Let's talk about conditioning

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and perception, because I think that those are two separate

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things and yet similar any ways, So let's talk about

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perception a little bit. What's your thoughts about perception and

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how does that.

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Affect our communication?

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Well, I always like to think of perception as how

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we expect things to go. And I think we've all

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had that day or night where we have that expectation

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in our head of we're going to go out to

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dinner and it's going to be great, and we're going

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to come home and relax, But then a flat tire happens.

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Maybe the restaurant food wasn't that great. So we have

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a perception that we're going into But when that perceptions interrupted,

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it tends to significantly alter the way we view things.

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So all of our perceptions change. That we age right,

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we get biases, we get prejudices. Is all of that

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is about perception. But the first step a customer takes,

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or a perspective partner takes, or a child takes is

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how do they think you're going to be when they

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communicate with you? And that has a dramatic effect on

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the outcome. If I'm a salesperson and I start my

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conversation with high how are you, perception changes great? This

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is a sales call. This is going to be a

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waste of my time. So perception shifts, and so us

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understanding how we're perceived by another person can radically change

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our communication method and even verbiage to help them either

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will fill their perception or change it.

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So let's talk about parenting for a minute, because you

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brought that in.

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I've got your kid, that's not your expertise, but I'll

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bet it is if you've got four.

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Kids of me too, So you know, let's talk about that.

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Because our children are growing up in an entirely different

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world than we grew up in and they get so

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much influenced by social media, by school, by religion, by

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society in general, and so their perception, I would suspect,

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becomes much different than the perception that we had as

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children growing up. So as a parent, as a parent,

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how do we really develop that open, transparent communication with

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them in a way that we can understand what their

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perception is be willing to accept their perception and not

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judge it. And yet at the same time, if we

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feel like that perception is going to lead them along

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the wrong path, how do we help to modify that

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in a way that's not challenging to them or making

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them feel like they're stupid or not doing well.

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Yeah, and I think that's a really big question. So

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maybe if we can unpack that on a smaller scale,

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I think part of the perception issue is we want

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to give kids a sheltered environment and we want to

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not show them some of the stuff in life that

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may not be as great. I know parents who don't

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like to argue in front of their kids, and that's fine.

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I'm not criticizing that, but that's a great perception issue. Then,

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so then that child perceives relationships as always good, and

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then when they get into one where an argument occurs,

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how are they going to perceive that? And I don't

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know the answer, but I have my suspicions. And the

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same thing with social media. We look at social media

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and most people put out their victories. Right here's my

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latest vacation. I just graduated with an MBA. I look

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at how the cool new car I bought. And so

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the kids get this perception and that, wow, my life

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looks nothing like that, So why isn't it like that?

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And I think that shifts their perception. You know, we've

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read over the past twenty years depression has become greater

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and greater, and I think that's because their perception of

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how other people's lives are has changed pretty dramatically. You know,

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when you and I grew up, we went to each

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other's houses all the time, so we saw arguments, we

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saw if their house was messy, and so we got

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an expectation, Hey, our lives are different, but that's who

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they are and it's not perfect. And I'm who I

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am and I'm not perfect. But I think we need

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to show our kids what we want them to be

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able to adapt to. Later on, Bill Gates gave an

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amazing address to a group of graduates back in the eighties,

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and he said, people are so concerned with what going

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on with other people when and then they try and

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give this trophy for everything that happens, but that doesn't

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mirror real life at all. So when you get out

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in the real world and you don't get that trophy,

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what's your perception of yourself and the world going to be?

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And I'm no expert, but I can't help but think

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he has a point.

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Well, and then when you talk about conditioning, how does

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how does conditioning and what is conditioning and how does

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that affect an individual's perception?

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Well, there was a psychologist out that just died, I

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believe in the nineties. His name was BF Skinner and

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his main thesis was free will is an illusion. We're

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all just one big ball of preconceived notions or pre

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condition notions that we go through based on previous decisions.

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So conditioning, I think, was a survival instinct. I see

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a bear, I run, gun shoots, it's bad, knife sharp,

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don't touch stove hot, stay back. So we're condition with

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certain things to just know how we should react without

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making a conscious decision. The part where it gets hard

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is when that starts to seep into real life. And

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I'll give you a great example. I was on vacation

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last week and somebody said to me, have a great vacation.

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I said, you too. Condition response, Yeah, didn't think about it,

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didn't give any thought to it. And this can harm us.

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I think in a lot of ways. Especially in business.

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I have a personal pet peeve about the question how

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are you? Nobody really cares unless you're super close to them,

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and it's become a substitute non conversational.

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Greeting instead of just tallow.

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Or hey, I was looking forward to our talk today.

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Thanks for taking the time, you know, just anything, but

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how are you? Which is going to get the condition response? Fine, thanks,

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how are you fine?

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Yeah?

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Yeah, that's true.

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Well, and when we talk about conditioning, you're talking about

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some service surface level conditioning that goes on.

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Yeah, let's talk about some of the deep, deep, deep

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conditioning I.

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Would call them imprinting that occurs not only from our

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DNA memory, which I found is very valid, but also

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from our childhood, from our parents, from our family, from

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our religion, from our school, from all of those things

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that can literally condition us in a way. How does

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that affect our perception of life based on that conditioning?

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I think the scariest part of that is a lot

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of times it's unconscious, you know, in neuro linguistic program

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and we call that anchoring. You're anchored to a certain

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thought based on a certain stimulus. And I think the

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hard part to answer this question is a lot of

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times we're unconscious of it. You know, somebody says they're

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scared of Well, you're not born with that. So what

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took place or what perception took place that conditioned you

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that all snakes are bad? They're all slimy? I think

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the scary part is we don't know how that happens.

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And some of it's gradual. Right. We may have love

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driving on the highway when we first started to drive,

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and without an accident or a traffic violation, we may

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hate driving on the highway twenty years later. It's an imprint,

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it's anchored by something, but a lot of times we

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don't know what. And I think that's what makes coaching

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and counseling so important, is to help us get in

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touch with what made us feel the way we feel today.

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And I'm certainly no doctor qualified to talk about this.

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But.

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Well, and if you've used ENLP, you certainly are aware

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of how many of.

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Those imprints are subconscious.

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So talk a little bit about NLP because I think

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that's important for people to understand. Many people go to

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a psychologists to go through you know, talk therapy, all

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of that type of thing. Some people do all sorts

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of different things. I have found that NLP has such

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a positive ability to help someone to really recognize some

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of those limiting beliefs that are subconscious and basically reframing

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them to a way that they're no longer triggering them,

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they're no longer affecting them and their perception the way

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that it is. So, can you share a little bit

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about what NLP is and the process if you're taking

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someone through a NLP process, how does that work?

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Yeah, the NLP to me is rather brilliant because the

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first part of NLP training is getting you hyper aware

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of the people that you're talking to that we all

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have certain things we do inherently. It's just kind of

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baked in us at our rep till your level, I

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guess you'd say. And it starts with getting you to

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recognize that. So, do they speak in a modality? In

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other words, do they use a lot of visual references

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or auditory references or kinesthetic references? And NLP even looks

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at eye movement. So if your eyes go to the

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upper right or upper left, you're accessing visual memory. If

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you're looking to the left or right, you're accessing auditory memory.

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And once you become hyper aware of how other people

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think and how to communicate with them. NLP teaches you

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to dig deep inside yourself. So think of something that

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you do that you don't like. Let's say it's snacking

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on the sofa at night. N LP teaches you to

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step outside and look at it almost from a third

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party perspective. Can you look at it from another person's

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point of view and understand what's taking place and what

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triggers it, what's anchored you to have your snacks on

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the sofa at night. I will tell you I have

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a bunch of NLP clients that I work with one

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on one to help them get by things where they're stuck.

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But the most impressive thing to me was going through

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the training myself. I think it should be required in

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high school. I dug so deep into me on certain

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things and discovered a lot of things that were incredible.

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But NLP has a way of digging into decisions or

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anchors that you have and teaches you how to either

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a strengthen them or b let them go. And that's

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a dramatic oversimplification, but I think that's a good summary.

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Well, and do you have any stories that you can share?

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I know that for me.

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I had one client that I took through a process,

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an NLP process, and it was interesting because he was

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he was making decisions. He came to me, he says,

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Dougie says, I'm just not making good decisions. I don't

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understand why. But here I'm ready to go with this,

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and all of a sudden, I'm making a stupid decision

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and I'm going, okay, so let's get together. So we

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spent literally an hour and a half together and went

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through a whole process of trying to get back to

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what was causing that, and we ultimately got back to

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an experience he had as a child in school, wow,

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in a classroom where a teacher literally basically said you're stupid.

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Put him into the back of the room.

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And so created this concept of him that he's stupid,

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he can't make right decisions, and therefore, because of that,

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he kept making incorrect decisions. And so as we were

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able to literally rephrase that and really look at it

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from the perspective, and this is where you get into

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the perception of all right, you know, your perception initially

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was I'm stupid, But what's the real reality of what's

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going on there? And we talked about the fact that

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no teacher, if they have a healthy mental stability themselves,

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is ever going to do.

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That to a child.

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And so we talked about the fact that it's all

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about the teacher, not about you.

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Once you went through.

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That and then we came forward in a positive way,

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his life changed. It totally changed.

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And I'd love for you to share one of you know,

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maybe a speri experience you've had with someone and how

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that has helped them.

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Yeah, I'm married for a second time and I was

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very fortunate to get two new daughters out of the

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relationship and I love them just to death. And one

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of them was having troubles with a breakup. The gentleman

298
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was not very nice to her. I felt kept her

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on like a mental umbilical cord that you're depending on

300
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me and my decisions are what goes. So she and

301
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I had literally an hour session, not unlike yours, and

302
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when we talked about why she felt that way, I

303
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asked her, how old are you right now? That emotion

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that you're coming from, Where is it coming from? What

305
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age are you when you're having this emotion? And sorry,

306
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this choked me up a little bit. She said, I'm fifteen.

307
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I can see it as clear as day. And she

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led me through an experience with someone that she had

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that made her feel as though if a relationship went bad,

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it was all her fault. And we talked it out

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and we kind of cleared it. We did the five

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or six whys of okay, so why is that?

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So?

314
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Why is that? And we got down to one single

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experience that she had with a grown up male when

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she was fifteen that led to her feeling this way,

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and once we cleared that, it was amazing. She's now

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she has left that relationship. He's in a much healthier

319
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one with a guy who treats her like gold, which

320
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is great. But I think to your point, with your client,

321
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who obviously was much younger in his feeling, we can

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sometimes get back to that root cause and change it well,

323
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absolutely and just and just understanding it. I know that

324
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when I went through one of those processes, and I

325
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think we all have.

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This I'm not good enough kind of mentality subconscious, you know.

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And as I went through that, and we went we

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went a little bit beyond NLP on that and I

329
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literally got back to being.

330
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In the womb, oh wow, and hearing my mom. At least.

331
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This is what I came up with, is I went

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through the process, you know, hearing my mom yell at

333
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my dad saying you're no good.

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And I have found that I really identify with my dad.

335
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I just have my whole life.

336
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And so I when I finally realized that, and it's like,

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holy cow, that came from way back when. That's just

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amazing to me. How that changes our perception. And as

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you work with people, how do you explain to them that?

340
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And I believe this is true, that they're conditioning.

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Creates their perception, and their perception creates their life, and

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they're thus they always will attract what their perception is.

343
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Yeah, and I'll be honest with you, I don't have

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one hundred percent success convincing people of that. There are

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some people that I think are so set in that

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and I think it largely depends on age that they

347
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can't be brought around, or at least I haven't been

348
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successful in bringing some people around. But the people I

349
00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:57.039
have been successful with, it's more of a thought process

350
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of asking questions versus telling them. So I asked them,

351
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how do you perceive this person? How do you perceive

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this situation, and we go through the process. I'm like,

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if I ask you, how are you, what's your response?

354
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And if a child says I love you, what's your response?

355
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So we go through how conditioning is around all the

356
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time in your life. You can't help it. It's you're

357
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a product of your environment. And a lot of the

358
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times it's just putting them through experiences. One of my

359
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:31.359
favorites is to teach them how perception. They can see

360
00:21:31.400 --> 00:21:33.880
it every day. If you've ever traveled to a hotel.

361
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About fifty years ago, management of a major hotel group

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was having trouble with a big problem in their hotels.

363
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Customers were complaining about how slow the elevators were, and

364
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so they went through all these plans, how do we

365
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build new elevators, how we get into the floor is quicker?

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And a maid of all people at a hotel meeting said,

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why don't we put mirrors outside the elevator doors. People

368
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will be busy primping themselves and their perception of time

369
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will go faster. Now, you can't find a hotel anywhere

370
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that doesn't have mirrors outside the elevators. So perception is

371
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so powerful and we see it every day. But I

372
00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:24.039
just don't think we're conscious of it enough to recognize

373
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the power all the time.

374
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Well, and as we're communicating with people, and really if

375
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we're taking the role and wanting to really make sure

376
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that that communication is a healthy one for both parties,

377
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:43.039
how do we make sure that we understand because you know, words,

378
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.440
verbal language, body language, you know, all of that is

379
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.759
part of communication. How how do we help that other

380
00:22:50.839 --> 00:22:57.799
individual to perceive appropriately what we're trying to say? Because,

381
00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:00.240
as you and I both know, you can say a

382
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:04.000
few words and someone's perception of that is going to

383
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:09.720
be entirely different, almost entirely opposite of what you were meaning. So,

384
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:13.680
from a standpoint of teaching communication, how do we help

385
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:18.000
people to take responsibility to make sure that that communication

386
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:21.319
is going in a way that the other party truly

387
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:26.359
is understanding and prestige what we're trying to really communicate.

388
00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:31.359
I would say that one of the things I've done,

389
00:23:31.400 --> 00:23:33.440
and maybe this will be helpful, is I created something

390
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:36.200
are called the two ten roll. When I'm working with

391
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:40.799
a client, every two minutes I check in. Does that

392
00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:44.519
make sense? How does that apply to you? Do you

393
00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:47.160
have any opinion on that? So every two minutes I'm

394
00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:50.519
creating an interaction or a kind of an opening a

395
00:23:50.599 --> 00:23:56.000
door for them to walk in or object or say no, Jake,

396
00:23:56.039 --> 00:23:57.039
you don't have that right.

397
00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:58.079
This is what I meant.

398
00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:01.920
And then every ten minus minutes I open up the

399
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:06.160
doors completely. Hey listen, I babbled. Now for ten minutes,

400
00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:09.880
we've gone through a lot of stuff. What questions do

401
00:24:09.920 --> 00:24:15.119
you have? So I can re solidify that foundation. But

402
00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:18.839
I base this rule on a premise I found out

403
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:21.599
about twenty five years ago that fascinated me, and I

404
00:24:21.640 --> 00:24:24.480
found this to be true. I read somewhere that for

405
00:24:24.519 --> 00:24:28.359
every ten minutes you talk, you generate two minutes worth

406
00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:31.799
the question in the other person's head. Now think about

407
00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:35.880
how staggering that is. If it's true, every ten minutes

408
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:40.119
you're generating two minutes worth the questions. So my theory was,

409
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.039
if I can turn that on its head and check

410
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.319
in every two minutes, and then every ten minutes open

411
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:49.880
the floor for a question, I believe it makes things

412
00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:53.200
much clearer, and it shows an openness between the two

413
00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:57.440
of you and hopefully a safe environment. Is that the

414
00:24:57.480 --> 00:24:59.680
answer for everybody. I'm sure it's not, but it has

415
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:01.559
worked very well for me and my clients.

416
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:05.960
Well, any examples you can share, whether it be in

417
00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:10.079
business or individual where that has helped the communication.

418
00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:14.519
Yeah. I do active training and developments, So I will

419
00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:19.920
train companies on how to sell, I'll train CEOs on

420
00:25:20.039 --> 00:25:23.839
how to negotiate with their vcs. But what I did

421
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:26.279
was I taught a training organization how to do this.

422
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:29.960
So instead of just having their trainers download for an hour,

423
00:25:30.839 --> 00:25:34.680
I taught them how to every two minutes check in

424
00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:39.000
with an audience member. Anybody does that make sense? Am

425
00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:41.319
I going too fast? How does that apply to you?

426
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:44.240
Come up with questions where you can check in, and

427
00:25:44.279 --> 00:25:48.400
then every ten minutes summarize. And what they found was

428
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:51.000
a couple of things. First of all was the audience

429
00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:54.200
became more of a community. Everybody saw that it was

430
00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:56.799
okay to talk, it was okay to verbalize, so they

431
00:25:56.920 --> 00:26:00.960
got more participation. The second thing they found was people

432
00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:05.440
retained messaging easier because as you and I both know,

433
00:26:05.559 --> 00:26:09.200
the human brain is designed to assimilate in chunks, not

434
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:15.200
in long stretches of verbage or information. They also recreated

435
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:20.200
their PowerPoint slides so that was chunked out and allowed

436
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:23.440
for those two minute interjections, And they found not only

437
00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:26.920
did their class feedback up, but the proficiency of the

438
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:30.759
people leaving the classes was a lot better. Most importantly,

439
00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:33.160
they didn't require Q and A at the end of class.

440
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:35.839
Most of the time they'd say, Okay, what questions do

441
00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:38.839
you have at the end and everybody's I'm good, this was.

442
00:26:38.839 --> 00:26:43.799
Great, wow, wow, And you know that's that's so amazing

443
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:48.400
as you think about it, to ask questions and to

444
00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:52.039
get that kind of response back, which means you you know,

445
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:54.920
I know in marketing often so oftentimes, and I think

446
00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:57.160
this is one of the biggest challenges of small businesses.

447
00:26:57.160 --> 00:26:59.319
They go, oh, I got a great product, so they.

448
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:01.680
Spend the money, they do everything, they've got it ready

449
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:05.960
to roll, and nobody buys, and they go, what's going on?

450
00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:10.559
And I tell them, you know, your very first step is.

451
00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:15.160
To start asking questions, start doing some surveys.

452
00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:17.519
What does it not people need?

453
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:19.759
Because we think, okay, they need this, they need that,

454
00:27:20.200 --> 00:27:23.160
But what is it that they want? And as you're

455
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:26.240
explaining that to me, what it tells me is that

456
00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:29.240
as you're doing that with the two ten rule, that

457
00:27:29.319 --> 00:27:34.039
you're literally allowing the other person in some respects to

458
00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:38.480
maybe even share what you want so as you're moving

459
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:42.759
forward into communication, whether it's business or even personal, and

460
00:27:42.839 --> 00:27:45.680
you discover that what they want is a little bit

461
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:48.680
different than what you're trying to push, you literally can

462
00:27:48.839 --> 00:27:53.720
change that approach if in fact, your true desire is

463
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:56.000
to help that other person to succeed.

464
00:27:57.799 --> 00:27:59.519
And that is a big part of it, right, You

465
00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:04.519
need to have a sincerity level about listening and adapting

466
00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:05.039
as you go.

467
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.880
Yes, and so let's talk about relationships, because I know

468
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:13.559
that you have mentioned that communication and relationships. Let's talk

469
00:28:13.559 --> 00:28:17.680
a little bit about your experience with that and what

470
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:22.640
your thoughts are about how important communication is in keeping

471
00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:26.319
good relationships or getting out of relationships that are not

472
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:27.079
healthy for you.

473
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:34.000
Well, speaking from experience of being a divorce dad, I

474
00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:36.519
can tell you a lot of the reasons for the

475
00:28:36.599 --> 00:28:41.799
divorce was my inability to listen probably as well as

476
00:28:41.799 --> 00:28:45.920
I could have and communicate as effectively as I could have.

477
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:49.599
And looking back on it, it's so easy to see

478
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.640
things in the rear view mirror. So I would say

479
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:56.680
the things that I've changed dramatically for my second marriage

480
00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:01.079
is I listen far more than I talk. I try

481
00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:05.000
to deliberately get more information on any topic that they're

482
00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:08.720
talking about. And I do this with all four of

483
00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:12.559
my kids as well. And what I found was that

484
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:18.720
the relationship with my own kids has evolved dramatically because

485
00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:22.759
they've started to look at me differently because I'm listening more.

486
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:27.319
And even in business, I do the same thing. I'd

487
00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:30.880
much rather hear about you than I would to talk

488
00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:34.720
about me. But here's where the magic happens. I thought

489
00:29:34.759 --> 00:29:36.599
when I did this with my kids and with my

490
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:40.680
current wife, I thought they would just take the reins

491
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:44.039
and go. They would just blab until I couldn't take

492
00:29:44.039 --> 00:29:48.319
it anymore. But instead, a miracle happened. After about ten

493
00:29:48.359 --> 00:29:51.759
minutes of talking about themselves, they come back and say, Wow,

494
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:53.640
I've done a lot of the talking, Dad, how are

495
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:59.440
things with you? So I found out, and I wish

496
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:01.440
I would have known this much earlier in life. I

497
00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:05.599
found out that much more I listened, the better the

498
00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:08.559
communication was both ways.

499
00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:13.359
Wow, you know, And you know, I would add one thing,

500
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:16.440
listen with understanding. And I think that you know, when

501
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:19.559
we talk about communication, I mean, there's so many elements

502
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:22.480
to that, but I think that one of the key

503
00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:27.440
elements that either create a negative situation or a positive

504
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:33.839
situation is the ability to really understand. And so you know,

505
00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:36.160
as you're talking to me and telling me about this,

506
00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:38.720
and I'm coming back and saying, well, you know what, Jake,

507
00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:41.079
I don't quite understand this. Can you explain this a

508
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:45.039
little bit more. All of a sudden, now this understanding,

509
00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:50.079
and now we have an equal perception. We're perceiving the

510
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:53.559
same thing because now I'm beginning to understand.

511
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:55.119
Where you're coming from and really understand that.

512
00:30:55.319 --> 00:30:58.440
So I think it's so important to be able to

513
00:30:59.480 --> 00:31:03.880
take the responsibility, whether were the Communicate tour or the

514
00:31:04.039 --> 00:31:10.680
Communicate tea, that we really asked those questions.

515
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:12.960
And you know what, just to build on that, because

516
00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:15.720
that's a great point to build on a little bit

517
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.559
more is to do a post mortem on a conversation.

518
00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:24.839
How was I during that conversation? And at night, can

519
00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:27.839
I look and say, hey, I wasn't perfect today, but

520
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.240
I learned a little bit more about me and I

521
00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:33.200
learned a lot about them, And then can you hit

522
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:36.279
the resets switch the next day. I think one of

523
00:31:36.279 --> 00:31:38.440
the best things I ever did, I started a number

524
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.880
of years ago, was to forgive yourself at the end

525
00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:44.480
of the day, Hey, listen, you weren't great conversing today,

526
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:47.799
didn't make a lot of friends, but it's okay. Tomorrow

527
00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:50.920
we can start again. Be more cognizant of what you're

528
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:55.119
doing and take responsibility for it. And that's a hard

529
00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:57.559
nut to crack sometimes.

530
00:31:57.240 --> 00:32:03.920
Well, it really is, and realizing that that communication can

531
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:09.519
be so important to being able to really have those relationships.

532
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:09.240
That you want.

533
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:14.559
Yeah, I get asked probably once a week by people

534
00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:16.680
I network with, so are you a good communicator? And

535
00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:19.960
my answer is always not really. I think I'm just

536
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:23.759
more cognizant of what I'm doing and I catch myself quicker,

537
00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:26.799
but I don't think it means I make any more

538
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:31.200
or less mistakes than most people. So I think cognition

539
00:32:31.400 --> 00:32:34.839
and to your point, understanding is a big piece of

540
00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:39.480
that puzzle that you never really master, but becoming aware

541
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:41.440
of it is certainly a step in the right direction.

542
00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:45.599
Well, and you mentioned something about ed'lpe, and I hadn't

543
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:48.759
thought about incorporating this part of it, that as you

544
00:32:48.839 --> 00:32:51.920
talk about people who are visual, who are auditory, who

545
00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:56.880
are catesthetic, and as we're communicating, how important is it

546
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:01.440
to understand how they choose to be communicated with and

547
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:04.799
how important is understanding just those three aspects.

548
00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:10.319
Well, I can only go by theory, and I think

549
00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:14.920
over time i've seen this actually be true. Is what's

550
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.119
the favorite topic of every one of us on the

551
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:19.160
planet without fail.

552
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:23.240
As well? Well? Oh ourselves, right, okay, right?

553
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:27.039
We don't like to talk about ourselves, and we tend

554
00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:31.640
to like people who are like us, so we tend

555
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:35.799
to get pulled towards them, or gravity brings us together.

556
00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:40.720
And the more I can make my speech similar to yours.

557
00:33:41.319 --> 00:33:43.839
So if you use all visual terms, if I can

558
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:46.680
relate back to you in visual terms, and if you

559
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:49.160
sit a certain way and I can sit a certain way,

560
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:51.200
and if I can look at your eye movements and

561
00:33:51.240 --> 00:33:54.000
I can tell whether you're recalling a memory or trying

562
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:58.720
to picture something, I can become more like you. And

563
00:33:58.759 --> 00:34:01.400
what winds up happening is that leads to more of

564
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:05.319
an open door. It leads to a trust. Right, everybody

565
00:34:05.400 --> 00:34:08.960
wants to talk to somebody they can trust. So if

566
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:12.159
I can build that trust quickly by understanding your modality,

567
00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:15.599
relating to it, and syncing into it, we can have

568
00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:16.599
a deeper connection.

569
00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:22.920
So as you do this, you get into doing any profiling.

570
00:34:23.039 --> 00:34:26.719
Behavioral profiling as far as personalities and.

571
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:31.199
Are they left brain, right brain extroverts, introverse? Do you

572
00:34:31.239 --> 00:34:34.159
get into that much at all? I don't.

573
00:34:34.280 --> 00:34:37.119
I love the theories. I love things like a kneogram

574
00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:41.559
and whole brain, and I love all of that. That's

575
00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:45.119
my nerd talk, that's nerd vana for me. But I

576
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:48.400
don't think I ever go back through beyond the basic

577
00:34:48.519 --> 00:34:52.360
modalities and just understanding them, because I think people tell

578
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:56.159
you who they are if you listen carefully enough. And

579
00:34:58.679 --> 00:35:02.239
I understand things like an and the whole brain, dominance

580
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:04.719
models and things like that have a lot of value.

581
00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:07.199
But I think if I get focused too much on that,

582
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.519
then I lose where we were in the conversation. So

583
00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:13.679
I stick to the basics and I rely on them

584
00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:15.079
to guide me through well.

585
00:35:15.079 --> 00:35:17.280
And I understand that. But as you're working with people

586
00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:19.239
for a while. For instance, I look at my kids.

587
00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:24.079
I've got one son that is absolutely left brain extrovert.

588
00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:27.000
That's just who he is, and that's kind of who

589
00:35:27.039 --> 00:35:31.519
I am too, with a little bit of introvers there analytical.

590
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:35.159
I've got a couple of other sons who are literally

591
00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:39.039
right brain and in fact, two of my boys, as

592
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:41.800
they were going up there about a year apart two

593
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:47.039
years apart, and they did not get along at all

594
00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:50.320
in high school. And so I have found a fellow

595
00:35:50.360 --> 00:35:53.239
that does some of that personality evaluation.

596
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:54.800
And so, you know what, I'm going to do this.

597
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:57.880
So I had them going together and go through a

598
00:35:57.960 --> 00:36:04.039
course with him. The ultimate result was that the right

599
00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:08.480
brain person understood that when the left brain person speaks,

600
00:36:09.159 --> 00:36:12.079
they're not speaking in a way that is comfortable for

601
00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:15.280
a right brain and the left brainer realized that, you

602
00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:17.880
know what, if I really want a friendship here, which

603
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:21.000
they both did, I've got to learn to communicate it

604
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:24.400
in a way that he's able to accept as well

605
00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:26.000
as the right brain needs.

606
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:28.559
To be able to communicate in a way that the

607
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:32.920
left accepts. And I think that that becomes really important.

608
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:36.960
How do you when you're not doing those evaluations or

609
00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:40.559
behavior analyzes and so forth, how do you help people

610
00:36:40.639 --> 00:36:44.760
to understand how to communicate in a way that is

611
00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:47.840
comfortable for the other individual to.

612
00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:49.440
Receive that communication.

613
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:53.559
I appreciate you clarifying, and I think I made some

614
00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:56.039
assunctions I couldn't have. I thought we were talking about

615
00:36:56.079 --> 00:37:00.320
initial relationships, but yes, as we get deeper, I really

616
00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:02.880
do enjoy doing that. One of my favorites is the

617
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:06.559
Hermann hulbrain dominance model, and that puts you into a

618
00:37:06.679 --> 00:37:09.320
learning style of blue, red, green, or yellow. And I've

619
00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:11.960
gotten my family so into it that we'll walk by

620
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:14.800
somebody and they'll talk to us and my door will.

621
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:15.679
Go, oh, he's blue.

622
00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:19.400
So we do get into that, and we do enjoy

623
00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:24.039
it immensely. Yeah, when I talk to clients about it,

624
00:37:24.199 --> 00:37:27.280
that's another hard concept I think for them to get

625
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:31.039
a hold of sometimes is that the way they communicate

626
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:36.639
isn't a universal method. But I do like the simpler models.

627
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:39.400
I've never done just purely right brain and left brain,

628
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:43.559
but I do love that the Herman brain dominance models.

629
00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:45.480
The one I've kind of come to rely on. Four

630
00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:51.320
basic colors, four basic styles. And what I don't normally

631
00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:54.440
do is get into something super deep that you're like

632
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:59.920
an LBDR Y three. I'm trying not to get too detailed.

633
00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:03.079
I can never understand that I actually use something called

634
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:06.239
the disc test, but oh yeah, I'm failiar with But

635
00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:10.000
it's actually a very heavy, more in depth one that

636
00:38:10.079 --> 00:38:13.039
gets into values and motivators as well as how do

637
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:15.480
you want to be communicated with? And and what I

638
00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:18.760
found I found with my own kids that because I

639
00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:21.639
tend to have opinions, and I tend to be analytical,

640
00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:24.239
and I tend to be strong willed, you know. I

641
00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:28.320
finally learned through sad experiences that I finally had to

642
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:31.719
stop and say, all right, do you want me to

643
00:38:31.800 --> 00:38:33.559
listen or do.

644
00:38:33.559 --> 00:38:37.400
You want my opinion? And that has been something that

645
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:39.719
has been something that's been so hard for me to do.

646
00:38:40.239 --> 00:38:42.280
But as I've learned to do that and they laugh

647
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:44.880
about it now, but the reality is a lot of

648
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:47.079
times I'll say, no doubt, I really do want your opinion.

649
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:49.719
But I think if I had not asked that question

650
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.360
and offered my opinion before asking, it comes across entirely

651
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:56.920
different and they get a different perception of what I'm doing.

652
00:38:58.599 --> 00:39:00.440
I love that, And this is all part of that

653
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:03.480
self cognition thing, right, being aware of what you do

654
00:39:03.559 --> 00:39:06.199
and trying to change it. So I commend you for

655
00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:10.039
being brave and internalizing that and coming up with something

656
00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:12.920
that worked that may have been against your initial styles.

657
00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:14.559
So my hat's off to you.

658
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:19.440
Well, And how do we help people to become cognizant

659
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:25.679
and responsible for the way that they're communicating and understand

660
00:39:26.400 --> 00:39:29.760
when they're communicating in a way that is not positive

661
00:39:30.239 --> 00:39:33.320
versus understanding that they're communicating in a way that.

662
00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:34.519
Is actually positive.

663
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:36.960
How do we help people to understand that and to

664
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:40.239
take that responsibility.

665
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:43.000
In my opinion and from my experience coaching other people,

666
00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:46.599
is it's a long game. So when somebody learns to

667
00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:52.800
be let's say, abrasive or get offended easily, I don't

668
00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:55.360
think at least I even seen the evidence that there

669
00:39:55.400 --> 00:39:58.719
is an overnight cure for that. I think sometimes it's

670
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:00.559
first of all, you need to be aware when you're

671
00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:04.599
feeling that way, and then later on we'll look at

672
00:40:04.679 --> 00:40:06.639
how you respond. But for right now, I just want

673
00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:09.760
you to have the awareness. So here's a homework assignment

674
00:40:09.800 --> 00:40:12.920
until we talk next week, and then we'll talk about

675
00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:15.599
that awareness that you built up, and then we'll take

676
00:40:15.599 --> 00:40:18.920
the next step. But to me, plays like this are

677
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:22.280
a long game. It's not something that we can have

678
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:26.280
an overnight success with, and so when I try to

679
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:29.400
help clients, I chunk it out for them. I have

680
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:33.400
a daughter right now who's very hot headed, and we

681
00:40:33.639 --> 00:40:37.000
just had this exact conversation yesterday, and I'm asking her

682
00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:41.320
to think about a certain spot where she kind of

683
00:40:41.360 --> 00:40:44.559
goes over the edge and to documented for me, and

684
00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:46.880
next week we'll talk about it in a phone call.

685
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:50.159
But again going back to what we said before, being

686
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:53.880
self cognizant or self aware, to me, it is the

687
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:57.760
first step of the process, not unlike nanaa right at

688
00:40:57.840 --> 00:40:59.320
first admitting you have a problem.

689
00:40:59.760 --> 00:40:59.880
Right.

690
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:05.199
So, here we are on a podcast, and I am curious,

691
00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:09.000
what is your motivation to be on a podcast? Because

692
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:12.800
you're the person that I am interviewing. Obviously I don't

693
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:16.000
go on podcasts to speak myself. I'd love to be

694
00:41:16.039 --> 00:41:21.400
the person that interviews Why why are you wanting to

695
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:24.079
be on a podcast? And what is it that you're

696
00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:27.119
trying to accomplish through your podcasts.

697
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:31.519
That's a great question. I would say that part of

698
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:36.119
it is drive. I really would love to people to

699
00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:38.840
have people start to change the way they think about

700
00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:42.559
communicating with other people. I think we're making some rough

701
00:41:42.599 --> 00:41:46.679
decisions with AI coming out. We're starting to not think

702
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:49.079
at all about what we're putting out there. We'll let

703
00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:53.119
something generated for us. We're kind of losing our ability

704
00:41:53.199 --> 00:41:57.519
to critically think. And I'm not against AI. I love it,

705
00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:01.239
but I think in there we need to keep basic

706
00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:05.119
communication principles that I don't think we've mastered yet. And

707
00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:07.480
my hope is by coming on shows like this and

708
00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:12.960
talking about it, people will explore NLP, they'll explore personality profiles,

709
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:14.719
and they'll start to look at other people and go,

710
00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:18.000
maybe I could talk to you differently, and maybe I

711
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:21.480
could think about myself differently. And again, this is the

712
00:42:21.519 --> 00:42:24.119
long game. If we can touch one life at a

713
00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:27.639
time and get them to think differently, maybe they'll do

714
00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:32.440
that with somebody else. So I think it's in an

715
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:36.159
inherent hope that we can affect change in some small way.

716
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:38.159
Yes, and play it forward.

717
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:42.559
And as we do that, maybe ultimately in the years

718
00:42:42.599 --> 00:42:45.800
and I'm millillion years to come, we can see a change.

719
00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:49.000
In the overall culture of our world.

720
00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:51.840
And so let me flip that on you. Why do

721
00:42:51.880 --> 00:42:52.760
you do the hosting?

722
00:42:54.199 --> 00:42:55.480
You know, that's a good question.

723
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:01.559
It occurred back when my dad died. He died back

724
00:43:01.559 --> 00:43:06.960
in twenty ten, and he was an incredible classical voice

725
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:11.440
teacher and he was at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois,

726
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:14.440
and they did a concert for him. They did a

727
00:43:14.599 --> 00:43:18.559
memorial concert, and as his students came up and sang

728
00:43:18.719 --> 00:43:23.320
and then spoke, I walked out of there just amazed

729
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:28.079
because what I heard was, Yeah, Norman. He was a

730
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:31.000
great voice teacher, and they would laugh about what he

731
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:34.199
would do sometimes he didn't like going to the opera,

732
00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:36.400
but they say he'd go into when they were doing

733
00:43:36.440 --> 00:43:39.000
an opera. He'd sit in the front row to the

734
00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:42.960
side and just casually use his arms in his hands

735
00:43:43.480 --> 00:43:46.039
whatever to kind of be guiding them in the way

736
00:43:46.079 --> 00:43:48.639
that they were singing. And they would laugh about that.

737
00:43:49.159 --> 00:43:52.599
But the reality is that the main story that hit

738
00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:55.960
me was a fellow that had to be at least

739
00:43:56.039 --> 00:43:57.599
twenty to thirty years younger.

740
00:43:57.320 --> 00:43:57.960
Than my dad.

741
00:43:58.360 --> 00:44:01.320
But they became good friends, and they used to play

742
00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:04.039
tennis together, and he used to laugh about how you

743
00:44:04.039 --> 00:44:07.280
know what, they'd always call it for the other person.

744
00:44:08.199 --> 00:44:10.280
And he says, every once in a while, and this

745
00:44:10.360 --> 00:44:12.360
is I think my dad was in the seventies. When

746
00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:15.920
he's talking about this particular issue. He says, every once

747
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:20.920
in a while, Norman beat me. And I and he.

748
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:23.599
Says, and I had to sit to myself what.

749
00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:26.920
Happened, he says, And I finally realized he willed me

750
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.960
off the court. Then he goes and tells a story

751
00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:34.360
about how he's over in Germany and he's he is

752
00:44:34.440 --> 00:44:39.000
actually auditioning for a top opera in Germany and going

753
00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:44.719
against their top tenor. And he tells the story and

754
00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:48.559
ultimately the basic result was that not only did he

755
00:44:48.599 --> 00:44:52.960
get that particular opera, he got the whole season. And

756
00:44:53.039 --> 00:44:55.119
he says, and he says, as I walked off that

757
00:44:55.320 --> 00:45:00.000
stage and thought to myself, how on earth? He said,

758
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.719
as I realized that Norman had taught me, and I

759
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:10.159
willed him off the stage. I willed the other singer

760
00:45:10.199 --> 00:45:13.679
off the stage fast. And so I found that that

761
00:45:14.119 --> 00:45:16.360
really affected me because the message was, you know, he

762
00:45:16.440 --> 00:45:20.079
gave us the will to win, to succeed, and then

763
00:45:20.519 --> 00:45:23.880
in addition, to live and to love. And they were

764
00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:27.360
literally saying those words, and I thought to myself, you

765
00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:31.039
know what, what I'm doing right now is not making

766
00:45:31.079 --> 00:45:34.440
a difference in people's lives. I want to do something

767
00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:36.760
that's going to make a difference in people's lives. And

768
00:45:37.159 --> 00:45:39.000
you know, I try to do all this and that

769
00:45:39.119 --> 00:45:41.199
and everything. And I finally realized, you know what, one

770
00:45:41.199 --> 00:45:43.440
way I can do this, and someone introduced this to me,

771
00:45:44.039 --> 00:45:44.480
I can.

772
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:45.719
Have a podcast.

773
00:45:46.039 --> 00:45:48.760
And I literally went from business tips and trends to

774
00:45:49.159 --> 00:45:52.320
making a difference in people's lives, inspire vision, and that's

775
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:53.159
why I'm doing it.

776
00:45:53.559 --> 00:45:55.719
I don't make any money on it, you know, It's

777
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:57.000
just something that I do.

778
00:45:57.159 --> 00:45:59.960
And every once in a while, every once in a while,

779
00:46:00.159 --> 00:46:02.480
I'll get a phone call or I'll get a message

780
00:46:02.719 --> 00:46:07.119
that says, thank you so much that podcast made such

781
00:46:07.119 --> 00:46:08.000
a difference.

782
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:08.199
In my life.

783
00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:13.840
And the reality is that I'm enjoying interviewing folks such

784
00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:17.239
as yourself because everybody has a different perspective, they have

785
00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:21.880
incredible insights, and there's going to be one person maybe

786
00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:28.559
that listens to this particular podcast and says, wow, you

787
00:46:28.599 --> 00:46:31.440
know what, I can make a change, and that's all

788
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:33.599
that really makes a difference as far as I'm concerned.

789
00:46:34.760 --> 00:46:38.559
See, you would make a great guest, I know. Yeah,

790
00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:42.039
great stories. That's fantastic, What a touching story. Thank you

791
00:46:42.079 --> 00:46:42.760
for sharing that.

792
00:46:43.079 --> 00:46:45.679
Oh you bet so. Anyway, that's why I'm doing it.

793
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:48.119
And we have come to the end.

794
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:54.039
And so we're gonna close. But Jake, thanks so much

795
00:46:54.119 --> 00:46:55.000
for being on the show.

796
00:46:55.039 --> 00:46:59.599
And I appreciate your insights and obviously, you know, your

797
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:03.079
life experiences have come into a point where you're now

798
00:47:03.199 --> 00:47:06.000
sharing that in your insights with other people, and I

799
00:47:06.039 --> 00:47:08.239
think it is making such a difference. I'm sure it

800
00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:10.920
doesn't the business world, and I'm sure it is with

801
00:47:11.039 --> 00:47:14.440
those personal people too, So thank you very much for

802
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:15.440
making a difference on.

803
00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:18.119
Other people's lives having me you bet.

804
00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:20.599
Thanks for listening, hope you enjoyed it. Look forward to

805
00:47:20.599 --> 00:47:24.480
having you join us again soon. This is doctor Doug saying, Noma,

806
00:47:24.559 --> 00:47:35.280
stay