Take Control of Your Body and Mind and Thrive

0:01 At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better, It's about what you've given back Thanzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Martin, Welcome to the show. Well a doctor, Doug, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be with you. Well, I'm really pleased, really pleased to have you. This just sounds like a really interesting concept that you've developed. So, you know, I always ask this at the first of my podcasts, this question what brought you to the point Number one that you wrote this book, but number two that you got to the point where you felt like you could and the things that you're focused on, because there's not to be some aha moment or something that happened that you to move in this direction. Right, absolutely, and thank you for that's a great question. Thank you so much. So i'd have to go back to two thousand and eight and tell a little bit of my backstory so that it explains how I got to this point, to the white book and do what I did. And in two thousand and eight, my wife and I were working on a project for five years to build a multimillion dollar health club and tennis center in New Jersey by the Jersey Shore. And it took us five years because anybody that's a businessman knows you never know what's going to catch you

1:33 in the middle. You know, you go, you find the land, then you have to negotiate for the land, then you have to find an architect and engineers, and then you know, before that, even I started with a feasibility study, it doesn't make sense to do this and all that. And then you have to go to the town and say, okay, look what we're looking to do here, and now this looks good. This change this, changed that. And then they go, oh, by the way, you need to do civil engineering. See the what the parking is going to be in your place, you have enough, what the traffic impact will be and all that. So each one of these added time to the project. And the whole time I'm funding it, I have investors and borrowing money to the tune of over three and a half million dollars, right, and if it was in the summer of two thousand and six or two thousand and seven, anytime in those two couple of years before, and then going to the bank was the easiest thing because they were lending money like it was giving out a glass of water. And that was during the you know, the real estate boom where everybody was able to refinance their house and then go back six months later and refinance again because they kept on moving that. You know, the subprime loans were just such that they're like, yeah, we're lending for anything on anybody, for whatever. So I did that and that was part of what I did to raise the money. But here we are, it's the summer of two thousand and eight. I go back to the bank. I'm like, okay, we've gotten all the approvals from the state and the city. We're ready to go. Go. Yeah, we're not lending right now, Like what are you talking about the last two years?

3:04 You know, three years, whatever it was. You couldn't wait for me to get the approvals, and here you're telling me you're not lending anymore. You know, well things have changed. We're not lending as quickly as we were. Before. Little did I know the storm that was on the on the horizon. A month later, Bernie made off the subprime loans. Everything that the financial world crashes at like a heart, like a house of cards. And where am I. I'm the joker card on the bottom of this crash deck of cards. And I'm not laughing because I've lost everything, absolutely everything. Many business people will tell you you've got to be a risk, You've got to take risks, and they should be as calculated and as you can be. And I felt like I was taking calculated, educated risks, not knowing what was going on in the background with all these you know, the financial end, and just like that, I lost everything. I stopped paying my mortgage, stopped paying my car payments. A few months later, my son tells me, Dad, look outside, they were towing away my BMW. Never had that happen to me before. That was a new thing.

4:15 And I run up to the car. I'm like, please stop. They like nope, I haven't paid. I go, well, can I take the things out of the car? No? Sorry, and they drive away. And about a year later the house was foreclosed on. However, because I lived in New Jersey, there was so many foreclosures that it took them years before they finally acted on the foreclosure, so the house was lived in for a bunch of years later. You know, as this was going on, so you can imagine, doctor Doug, that I went into a major depression, you know, and I you know, and you know, I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I didn't know how I was paying bills. I barely got a a that end job paying me next to nothing, and my wife went to work for the first time in her life. And this is how I was for about a year. And during that time, I went on medication, I was going to therapy, I was going to coaching, and I realized after about a year that this depression was situational depression and it wasn't physiological. So I stopped taking that medication and I decided, Okay, now I got to figure out what am I going to really do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be in these dead end jobs that are gonna take me nowhere, and I need to figure something out. But by this time, I'm in my late forties, approaching fifty years old, and you know, this is still in the wake of everything that happened. So hiring wasn't that easy, getting jobs

5:47 wasn't that easy? And starting something without with no money was you know, basically for the most part out of the question starting a real business like I had done most of my life. So once I started to come out of the shadow that I was under for this year, said Okay, what do I want to do? And I thought about it, and I realized most of my life I was involved in community events. I was a community leader in so many of our organizations. And as a leader, people would come in and say, Mark, and I can't do what you're doing, and I'd say, but I don't want you to do what I'm doing. I want you to give me your talents, give me what you're good at. Well, I don't know what I'm good at. And I would talk to them about it and help them find what their potential was. I realized that I was coaching them, so I realized, oh, that might be something interesting. Let me look into coaching. And I went down the road to look into all these different coaching programs and I found a great one that happened to be The headquarters was about five miles away from my home. They have locations where they do the coaching training all over the world, and their headquarters was located in New Jersey, five miles away from where I was. So I went in there and I spoke to the head of the financial department, the CFO. I said, listen, I really like to come to your coaching program, but I can't afford it, and I know that if I go to get financing, I won't get it because my credit is screwed up.

7:12 I said, but if I'll make you a deal. Let's come up with a number that I can pay you every month, and I'll pay you every month. He said, you got a deal, but I'll make you. But one part of the deal is you don't get your certification until you pay off the debt. I said, that's fair. It's only you know. That's the way it should be. And I started took He believed in me, and I appreciate that. So now it's about two or three months before the coach training was going to start, and it's my twenty fourth wedding anniversary and Doug, doctor, Doug, you know what my wife gave me for an anniversary present. I can't even imagine. She said, I want a divorce. Oh wow. So I was like, why does everything keep happening to me? I feel like I'm getting banged down. Every time I get up, I get knocked down again. And I really thought I might.

8:03 You could imagine my emotions were all over the place, even though I knew it was coming, but I never really thought it would actually happen. I figured I can save it someway. But it was the truth and uh but and the old me probably at that moment, I had to decide, am I going to still go forward with this coaching? What am I going to do? How am I going to go forward? And I said, you know what, I think this is God telling me that you got to do this, and really, looking back now, I think it was. And he said he was saying to me, oh, you want to go for coaching, Well, why don't you figure yourself out as you go through this so that you can help yourself and then help others. So it was about two weeks before coach training and they sent us an email with a bunch of books to read. They said, read a couple of these books to get prepared to come, and one of them was The Four Agreements by Doctor by Don Miguel Luise. You know that book. Oh yes, In fact, I've read the fifth Agreement too, Yeah, MeToo. And when I read this second agreement, which is don't take anything personally, I felt like he was telling me a secret that the whole world had been telling me up until that point, but I wasn't ready to hear it until then. So it's that basic. The master will appear when the student is ready, and I was ready. I was down, I was every I was like okay.

9:20 And I realized that I was always taking things personally, and going through coach training, I started to unravel the things that were holding me back, and one of them was is that I was a people pleaser. Now, most people will tell you I'm not a people pleaser. I just like to make everybody happy. But when you go deeper, they realize that really what they are doing is they're putting everybody else first in them last. And that's who I was. And with that came some other things that I took things personally that I already figured out that I was a control freak, that I needed to have the recognition when I was doing a good job because I was a people please I was like Marian, you're doing great, fantastic, And when all those things weren't falling into the place, I would lose it.

10:07 I would you know, I would have I would freak out, I would lose my temper to the point that I was like a I would react to everything like a nuclear reactor and I'd leave all out, all over the place. And I realized, thank God that I think that God put me in a position to go through coach training while I was going through my divorce because I was at the lowest point in my life and I had to figure out how to get out of here, and going through coaching made me understand who I was up until that point and who I wanted to be going forward. Wow. And you know what, you know what gets so interesting when you talk about that is, you know, we talk about our emotions and how they literally can control our lives. And oftentimes we look at what we're experiencing in our life and we think, you know, it's that person's folder, that person's falder, you know, God's not watching over me or whatever, and we never realize that our experiences are completely based on our emotions, which creates our perception of life. And as we react rather than have control over our behavior and our actions, it just continues to create the same issues.

11:26 So, and I agree with you. Being able to do that introspective work makes such a difference. And it's amazing how for each of us that some point in life comes along where we finally get that awareness that says, you know what, I've got to dig deeper and figured this thing out. Yeah, yeah, it's true. And you know, I say it all the time. At your lowest points is when you're most introspective, because you're looking and say why am I here? And it's about what do you do about that? When you're at that point. One of the things I learned through going through coaching is that instead of saying why does everything keep happening to me? Because as you just mentioned, that's a way of blaming others for what's going on in my life. That's a way of me passing the bok and not taking any responsibility. Now, instead of saying things happen to me, I say things happened through me because it's up to me as to the end result. Well, you know, how how interesting is it to, as you say, take responsibility but also to recognize that when things are going well, you can take credit for that. But when things are not going well, you can easily blame everybody else to take credit for that too. And go, okay, you know what, I am creating this situation? Why right? Right? And you know, I think that becomes that becomes the definition of mindfulness and uh, you know consciousness. I think so. So

13:00 then the book, at what point in time did you decide to write the book and go ahead and let the audience know the name of the book. Sure, So the book is called Warrior to Warrior And for all those people out there, I'm from Brooklyn, Warrior with it all to warrior with an A, just so you know, my Brooklyn accent will easily screw that up. So yeah, so Worry to Warrior is actually my second book. So a few years after I graduated coaching te coach training, I had become a divorce recovery coach because I recognize how much coaching it helped me get through coach through my divorce. So I'm like, well, that makes sense for me to do that. And I came up with the system and all that, and I used the word recover as an acronym in there to do that.

13:54 And then one day somebody said to me, Martin, you should write a book about your life. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm not writing a book about my life. And then a week later somebody sent me an email. You know how you get on those email lists, Yeah, and one of them was, come see about learning about how to write a book at a weekend. All right, let me look into that. And I met with the woman who runs the program, and she's a fantastic woman. Her name is Donna Kozik, and we connected right away, and I said, look, I'm not writing my life. I'm I'm just not doing it. But I do have experiences of myself and some of my clients that I think would do a good job. She goes, so, then write about that, right about the seven steps to recover from the emotional step for emotional roller coaster that you went on, and how you don't have that roller coaster anymore. It's like, okay, great, And I wrote that book, and then you know, I continued coaching, but I was never really making any money on it. And one day I looked in the mirror. I was in another dead end job, and I was like, the heaviest ever was And I said, you gotta stop saying, you know, I'm eating wrong and it's okay, I'm not exercising, and it's okay, I'm doing all these things and it's okay. You know I was. I had changed from I can't exercise, I can't eat right to I choose not to At least I was doing that. But now it's start for me to choose to do the right things. And I started to eat better. At A friend of mine was on Facebook, a friend that I went to coaching school with,

15:28 and he said he put out a post. He said, look, guys, I lost a lot of weight doing a twenty five minute video at home. I'm like, oh, I think I can do that. I don't have to buy a gym membership and figure out how to get there and still go to work and all that. So I woke up a half hour forty five minutes earlier every morning, and I exercised, took my shower, and went to work, you know. And he said to me one important thing, he said, and Martin, I'm going to coach you through this. Even though then I thought like I can't afford even though I'm a coach, I couldn't afford to be coached. And now I realized I can't afford not to be coached, because I need that coaching, that mindset in my mind in my life to keep me going forward. But so I said, okay, great, I'm gonna do it for free, beautiful, And in nine months, I lost sixty five pounds and I was a new person.

16:22 I started to like myself again. I started to love myself. I built a lot of self confidence. I was eating right, I was reading the right things, and I was doing things. Now, I gotta tell you, doctor Doug, I'm ADHD, okay, which I found at in my fifties. That's what I was. I was wondering what it was. But anyway, could you imagine an ADHD guy meditating? Oh believe me. I have a few friends that are heavy ADHD. No. So here I am. Somebody tells me you should meditate, and here's an app so that you can do guided meditation. I'm like, okay. I'd sit there for the ten minute guided medization and my mind would be all over the place. When is this going to be over all? That would go through my head.

17:07 But one of these times I had this download of information that I was loving my life and everything that was going on in it, and I wanted to show other people how to do that because now I was also started to date again, and I was happy to be dating because I realized that before, when I was getting divorced, that I was afraid to date because I thought nobody would love me. And I realized that was because I didn't love myself, so why would anybody love me? Right? So here I am. And after that ten minutes of meditating, I wrote for two hours, and out of that came a an acronym for life, live incredibly full every day Lafi, live incredibly full every day, and for me, it means living a happy life and living a life of meaning. You could be happy with no meaning. Meaning is selfless, selfish, self love, self care.

18:07 But meaning is selfless. You know what are you doing for others? So if you have both of them, you get it. You're living incredibly full. And I was doing that by coaching, I was being I was having meaning, I was loving my life. My children and I were were beginning to build back our relationship after the divorce, and my ex wife and I now have to say these days we have a great relationship. But it took us some time. She's married again, and I'm married again, so it's all good. And I put together this whole life concept and came up with all these things, and I started coaching people around it. So I mentioned I got married again, and then twenty twenty happens, right, And what happened in twenty twenty The world shuts down like it never did before with COVID, And I'm going out every single day. I'm putting a mask on, I'm putting gloves on. And you know, of course, the kids are now her kids. I'm living with my new wife. Her kids are younger than my kids. So I'm living with my new wife and her kids, and they're all living in the house now, and she or working or doing school from the house. And she's working from the house. And I was always working from the house because I'm a coach. I can coach from anywhere.

19:15 I've been using zoom before twenty twenty, and one day I said to her about two months said, I said, let's go to Manhattan. Let's go to the city. Let's spend the Sunday in the city. Okay, great, We pile into the car and we go. And if you know anything about New York City, driving down any of the blocks can take you a long time. Well, this day I drove straight down Fifth Avenue without missing a traffic light, and I'm looking around that. I turned to my wife, I said, where is everybody? What is everybody so worried about? You can still go outside, You could put on your gloves, even masks, even gloves, whatever, stay six feet apart. What are they so worried about? And hit me that the last ten twelve years before that, going through the two thousand and eight crisis, go at financial crisis, going through my divorce, and then going through my weight journey and finding somebody had prepared me for anything. And I wasn't going to be worried about anything ever again because I would figure it out and my emotions. I was now in control of my emotions instead of before my emotions controlling me. So I got onto Facebook and I said, guys, I get it. I know why you're worried. I've been there. Let me show you how to go from being a warrior to a warrior. I had some fun with the words, and that's what became now me saying okay, I'm down here in twenty twenty, let me put together a coaching program that I can put online,

20:47 and as I'm doing it, I go I could turn this coaching program into a book and into a card deck, which I made as well. So I have a book Gold Worry the Warrior, a card deck Cold Worry the Warrior, and a course. Okay, and so let's define because as I was chatting with you before we got online, you know, you think about the word warrior and it brings up particularly politically now, it brings up all sorts of thoughts and emotions, battles and everything else. So why did you choose the name warrior? Right? That's a great question, Doug. And I picked it because to me, when a warrior is someone who goes through adversity and comes out the other side stronger. And to me, going through a divorce, going through whatever life hits you with and getting coming out stronger and saying I can beat whatever comes makes you a warrior. Now it's not the traditional warrior as you're thinking, but I changed. I just thoughted, you know, it sounded good warrior to warrior, so I would go with it and flow with it. That's great. Well, you know, and as you talk about some of these cons that you wrote in the book.

22:00 I know that I know that there's you know, the addition to that is seven steps to uncover the warrior within and live incredibly full every day. So let's talk about let's talk about some of the things you talk about in the book. What are some of those quote secrets that you learned that you share with people, as far as how do you how do you move forward in your life without anxiety? You know, it's interesting, as I mentioned to you, I'm in Thailand right now. I'll be heading back to the US soon. But as I'm here and as I've been curious about the culture and Buddhism and all of that type of things, it's fascinating to me that as I've been listening to you speak, I'm thinking, Wow, I was just reading this morning a little bit about you know, how there are certain things that we all suffer. How do we learn to recognize that we're suffering that awareness, and then how do we learn to start to dominate that? And and so when you started, you know, when I saw you're talking about how do we get to a point without that anxiety? I'd love for you to share with the audience some of those thoughts. How what's the power of a cycle of a's okay, cycle of as? So for me, the cycle of as takes the law of attraction to another level. Okay, so everybody out there thinks the law of attraction is you think of something and it attracts to you, right that it has an attraction. But here's the problem.

23:33 If you just think on that level, when it doesn't work, you're like, oh, the law of attraction doesn't work. Well of course, because there's more to it. That's the foundation. So I took the word, the three words that all started with the letter A, and created the cycle of ase. And why is it a cycle because once you're in it, it's kind of like a perpetual motion. So the first day is ask ask the universe for what you want, as God, ask whoever it is, for what you want. It could be as simple as I've just come up with an idea in my head. Maybe I'll do this. That's an ask. You're asking yourself this is a great idea, let me flesh it out. Then that leads to the second a act. It's okay to have to ask, But if you're just gonna sit around and wait for it to happen. It doesn't happen that way. You've got to act. You've got to do the steps to get what you want right, put a plan together, make this, make the make make the decisions, and do the work to get there. And that's where the third A comes in. And the third aay is attitude. Right, you have to have an attitude that you're not attached emotionally to the outcome, because when you do, you're giving off that of that emotion, that that vibe of lack. Oh, I have to have this. If I don't have it, world is going to follow out fall apart around me. Instead, you should have an attitude of I

25:04 don't care what happens. Of course I want it to work out, but I might hit bumps in the road of detours. And you know what, I look at it as people say, Oh, I ask God for things all the time, and he never answers because if he did answer, he said no, because that's not where you're supposed to be going. And by you getting these these roadblocks, it's the way of saying, it's the universe's way of saying, you need to make a course correction so that you can get what you want to what's supposed to be happening for you. So if you have that attitude of when things come up, it's just by way of having to figure out how to get around them or change direction, instead of getting down on yourself, getting down on the process that gets you through it.

25:48 So it's ask act and attitude. Well, and it's interesting, you know, I think about this a lot because you know, as we talk about faith, or as we talk about all of those type of things, and as you say, you know, here I'm praying, I'm praying, I'm praying, and I'm not getting it, and then they start to lose faith. But in my mind is I've contemplated this very deeply, is that we have to be prepared mentally, consciously, spiritually, whatever that happens to be. We need to be prepared to receive what we're asking for. And so many times we've never done the work, that internal work that you've been talking about to bring ourselves to the point that we're really truly ready to receive it. And I think sometimes you know, you say, well, you know, God say no. You know, maybe sometimes he's say no, but the reality is we're saying no. It's also true that we are saying no, and until you know, when our prayers aren't being answered quote, it may be time to look at who am I and why am I stopping this from happening? And as you said, what do I need to what do I need to do? And I even lack a better word, what do I need to become? So yeah, naturally will flow back and instead of looking for all the problems out there, when the problems come up,

27:21 I don't call them problems. They call them challenges. And then it is an opportunity. Yes, how do you take the challenge and turn it into an opportunity or a lesson or exactly we were too. We will all brainwashed it to thinking that failure is a bad thing, and it does have some negative too, But you could also say failure is another step in the learning process. Just like Edison said, when somebody asked them, you know you failed a thousand times making a light bulb, he said, no, I learned a thousand ways how not to make a light bulb. Well, and I think that's so important for people to understand because so often we're so affected by our emotions when we quote fail And yet you know, part of that mindset as part of that consciousness is to be able to look at those quote failures and as you say, recognize that. You know what if I look at that from a different perspective and allow it to teach me something? Because literally I created the failure, So what do I need to learn in order to change that? All of a sudden we begin that path of growth and awareness that is so important to create a better life for ourselves. Exactly exactly, I agree with you, And you know one of the things is understanding how your emotions are affecting you and building that emotional strength. And that's something that I had to learn. I had to learn the hard way because I

28:52 started to realize that the things that I thought were my default tendencies that could never change, change if I believe that I could change them. So I had to no longer become that nuclear reactor and learn how to become a responder, somebody who responds to things instead of react. So another thing that I did, and it's in my book, is I took the word life and made a sec another acronym. I have a bunch of life acronyms. I like the word and it reads so much to me. So I took it and I said, I call it the War is Life code method to build your emotional strength and rule your actions instead of your actions ruling you or your emotions ruling you. Right. So the first l is listen to your inner voice and acknowledge your emotions. So what does that mean. So you're angry, acknowledge that you're angry. It's okay to say I'm angry, and you know what I do in my book and on my cards as well as anybody that wants to go, they can go to my website and get a worksheet that helps with this and a chart. And the chart across the top has different kinds of emotions happy, sad, angry, depress, and then underneath each one of them is a list of feelings attached to those emotions, because I think there's a difference between emotions and feelings. So the first one is

30:23 elle listen to your voice and acknowledge your emotions. The second one is I identify the feelings that are attached to those emotions, Meaning you're angry, Well, what kind of angry are you? Are you enraged or are you just a little ticked off? So it's broken down into three categories. Strong medium in light right now, if you use the worksheets or you think about this when this is going on. First thing is your emotions start to subside. The feelings are still there, but what do you do with them? And you say, start to name them, identify them. And then the next step is find out why. Ask yourself questions, why am I feeling these emotions? Okay? And what can I do about it? And then say cross examine yourself like you're on trial. Why am I feeling is it?

31:21 Why is it hurting me? Is that person hurting me? Why is that person helping me? Whatever it is? And write it all down. The more you write it down, it helps to get through this emotional thing you're going through and figure out how to go forward. And the last one is engage in change and take action right go out there and do something about it. And you know, I can give you a perfect example of my own life because you know what as a coach, as an author, if you're not especially in these help books, if you're not putting yourself into the book and you're just writing things of walk talking to talk without walking the walk, why should anybody listened to me? And they really feel that you know.

32:02 That's what's interesting is you read different books. It's interesting how you can really identify the author when it really feels genuine versus someone that's just writing. Right. People have said, boy, you get vulnerable in this book, you get raw. I'm like, yeah, because how why would anybody listen to me otherwise? So here's the story of how I used life, that life acronym in my life. So a few years after my divorce, my son was getting married. I was living in New York. My ex was still living in our foreclosed house in New Jersey that you lived in for seven or eight years before they finally a second away, okay, And we were both struggling financially at the time. And my son is getting married, and I'm Jewish. I come from an Orthodox Jewish background, okay, a modern Orthodox and the such. And on Saturday before we have a tradition in my community, on the Saturday before the wedding, sometimes the boy will go up to the torah and the rabbis will you give him special blessings and stuff like that, and then afterwards sometimes there's a lunch for the family for the boy and the girl afterwards. So I thought we had decided not to do it.

33:15 My son comes home after the weekend before the wedding, and he says, Dad, I'm so sorry. Mommy made a lunch and invited my wife's, my bride's family and other people, and you weren't there. Now, the old me would have freaked out on my son and would have called up my wife, my ex wife, and ripped her a new one. So I turned to my son and said, Caesar, it's not on you. I appreciate it, Thank you for telling me. Now I had to make a decision. So the first ones listen to my inner voice and acknowledge my emotions. I was angry, and then I went to number two. I was enraged, and then I said number three, find out why why do I feel this way? She disrespected me, She showed the children that it's okay to disrespect me, and all these other things. And I made a whole list of the things. And then I said, okay, engage a change and take action. What was I going to do about it? Here's where the metal hit the road, you know, the rubber hit the road.

34:17 The old me would have picked up the phone and ripped her a new one. Two days before the wedding. Now, what would have that done? That would have made her mad and put us shout, That would have made my son upset. My family would have found that, oh there he goes again, her family the other side, and the wedding would have had a huge shadow over it. I'm like, who am I if? I said to myself, who am I? Who's going to benefit from me doing this? Me and nobody else, and maybe not even me. So I thought about it and I rested, Okay, how am I going to make the change? How am I going to take action? And I decided I'm gonna wait until after the wedding to do something. Now, most people think live coaches are all about teaching people how not to get angry. No, it's how to understand your emotions and what to do when the emotions come up.

35:12 So I did exactly that, and I waited until the wedding was on Wednesday. I waited till Friday, and I called her up and I said, this is what you did, this is the message you said. And I had a controlled anger. This is the I didn't care if she heard a word. I said, it was about me getting it off, and so on. I went on for about ten minutes, and I ended the conversation doctor Doug by saying thank you for divorcing me and a moment of closure for me. Yes, And you know what, everything that you're talking about is really this concept of mindset and for the audience to understand, and you know, we talk about this a lot on a lot of different shows, but the concept of mindset, I think it's important for people to understand that.

36:00 You know, we are so affected neurologically by the habits, the beliefs, everything that we have received is children and so on and so forth. And part of the challenge, is you explained so clearly that you've gone through, is to develop that mindset to as those emotions arise, number one, you recognize them. Number two, you place them wherever they need to be. But ultimately, what's happening, and they've shown this scientifically, is you're changing the neural pathways in your brain to the point where it becomes a natural thing for you to do. And it takes a little bit of time. So I know that you talk about seven secrets to an abundant mindset, and maybe for the next four to five minutes, could you talk a little bit about what those seven secrets are absolutely And as I mentioned, I have a card deck and one of the card is loundant warrior mindset within you set an abundant mindset. Okay, I mean I know it by heart, but I'm gonna just look at it for So number one is and I took the word warrior and that's seven letters and turned it into another acronym. So the first W, the first war letter is w wisdom. Seek wisdom. Always look to be learning, because you never the journey of learning never ends. So if

37:36 you've got something going on, ask questions, have the wisdom to say, I'm willing to expand my mindset, expand what I learned, expand everything. The A stands for the cycle of a's ask act an attitude. Ask the universe for what you want, act towards getting it, and have an attitude of that. I don't have a strong desire about what happened. Now. There's a bunch of rs in the Warrior. So the first R is realization. Be content with everything that you have right now. That doesn't mean you don't want more. That means be happy where you are while going and pursuing other things. But don't let the happiness. Uh, don't. Don't put the happiness to the side while you're pursuing the other things. Say I'm happy where I am. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna get up every morning and not want to do things. Be happy, be content. The next one is recognize. Recognize to me as gratitude, Be grateful for everything you have in your life. Wake up every morning and write three things you're grateful for.

38:42 And don't just write them in a book. I have. Somebody just gave this one to me as a gift, a Moleskin notebook, nice quality book. Mine is upstairs in my bedroom. I write three things every morning that I'm grateful for. I also write three things at night. But practice gratitude. Dude, As you start to practice gratitude, if you do it consistently enough, the complaining will start going away. Right. So that's the second R. I imagination. Just be imaginative, think big woman. Vincent Peale said, shoot for the stars and you'll hit the moon. That's a good thing, right. Next, Oh, optimism, find the positive and everything. Wear the rose colored glasses. It's okay to wear the road colored glasses. I tell people, don't wear the dark colored look. For the happiness, look for the good and everything that goes on. And then the last one resilient, Be flexible, have an open mind. Like I said before, get ready to make course corrections when you need to. It's the universe's way of telling you we're trying to guide you in the right way.

39:52 Well, and I love the resilience because you know what we're all gonna not. We're all gonna experience the situation as we along that path that you know we blow it. But to be resilient and say Okay, I blew it, put it to the side, and continue on. I love those seven secrets. I love how you do the whole acronyms and warrior and all of that. That's great. So let me ask you, and you know you almost did this, but as we as we come towards the clothes, what I love for you to do is share with the audience. Just take a minute to think about this. What would be the message that you'd like to share with the audience that would help them to achieve this level of happiness and achievement in their lives that you've been talking about. Well, I'm going to give you something that's kind of different than what most people might say. So first thing is I want you to start with that gratitude journal in the morning and have the mindset that I'm going to live incredibly full every day. Whatever your mantra is going to be, that's my I get up and I say that. But here's where we going to tell you to do something different.

41:01 When you're out in the streets, when you're out in the public, when you're going to the supermarket, when you're going anywhere, make somebody laugh. And when you do, here's where it changes. Thank them for helping you to fill your quota to make someone laugh every day. Right, So let's say you're on the supermarket line and you say something funny and the cashier laughs, and you just keep going. You've had no effect on anybody. But if you make her laugh or him laugh, and then say thank you for filling my quota, they're like what, I go, Yeah, it's my job to make somebody laugh every day. Now you've made a connection with them, and then tell them pass it on, pay it forward to someone else.

41:45 Oh, I love that. I love that, And you know it is so important. I remember a discussion I had recently about how important it is to be able to look at an individual. In fact, it was talking about the five love languages, but modified it a bit and talked about the fact that how can you number one identify one an individual that you may not even know what's their love language, and then speak to them in a way, whether it's service or whether it's kindness or whatever that happens to be to help them to have a better day. And I love what you're talking about here, because the reality is is that our life is meant to touch the lives of others. And I really believe that's that's one of the mangles in our life is to achieve that level of mindfulness of goodness to be able to then touch the lives of others. And that takes a little bit of work. It takes some work. And I got to tell you, I wish I could say that I'm like that all the time, but there were times that I have my trips and falls and I guess myself out of it as quickly as possible. I love that. I love that. So let me ask you a question. How can people number one find your book and number two find you? So I made it very simple, because you know,

43:19 luckily I get to go on podcasts like Your Doctor, Doctor Doug. I made a website and I called it connect with Martin dot Com. Right, you go to connect with Martin dot com. Right towards the top, you'll see a link to take you to Amazon to buy the book. Right, so you got that, Then there's another link if you're interested in buying my cards. You can buy my cards and also on the side of freebies like the like the Cycle of A's as well as the Life the four Steps of the Life to control your emotional you know, uh, build your emotional strength as well as there's a link on there if you want to have a conversation with me for half an hour and just see, you know, if we can act, if there's anything I can help you with in the moment.

44:00 It's not a sales goal. It's just me having you know, somebody might have a bad day and they just need to reach out to someone else who could give them a first perspective. Oh, I love it. I love it, No simple connected with Mari dot com. What can I say? Yeah, Warrior to Warrior, Oh my goodness, that is just I love it and I look forward to learning more about it. So thank you, so Martin, thank you so much for being on the show. This has just been a really fun conversation. I really appreciate it. Thank you. I've enjoyed it. Thank you so much. You're beat and folks, thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed it, and please reach out to Martin. I think there's some value here in things that he can share with you, whether it's his book or some of these other things he's mentioned that might make a difference in your life and hence make a difference in other people's lives.

44:52 So thanks for joining us, have a great week, look forward to having you join us against sin. The plant returned to campment for there