Dec. 9, 2024

Strong Relationships - Gender Intelligence

Strong Relationships - Gender Intelligence

Ever wonder why your relationships are not at the level of connection you would like?
Often it has to do with a lack of great communication as a result of our not understanding how our significant-other communicates, and they do not understand how we...

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Ever wonder why your relationships are not at the level of connection you would like?
Often it has to do with a lack of great communication as a result of our not understanding how our significant-other communicates, and they do not understand how we communicate also.
Enter Andre Paradis. Andre has studied this issue for years, studying with some of the greatest gurus regarding this issue. Andre shares his insights with us.
https://projectequinox.net

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any

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suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Andre welcome to the show.

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Thank you, thank you nice good to be here.

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I'm excited to hear about all these things you got

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to share. I love for you to share with the audience.

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You have a journey, and you know, as I've read

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your biography and so forth, I know it's a fascinating journey,

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and I'd love for you to share with the audience

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that journey and what brought you to this point of

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what you're doing, particularly with your project Equinox.

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Oh okay, how far back? How far back you over

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to go? Because it starts as five years old instead as.

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Far well go a little senter than that.

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Yeah, So in a nutshell, In a nutshell, when I

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was five years old, I realized, I realized I was

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born in the wrong family. And so what happened is

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it was kind of baffling and scary, and I became

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an observer of the world and people because I've started

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to understand how that's possible. So I was the kid

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who's always watching everyone. With that, I just I I

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became fascinated with the human condition watching people, you know

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what I mean, Like, why is this person cool? Why

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is this personally like this? How come this? And how

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come that? And how do people become with the you know?

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Because again trying to understand me. But it was amazing.

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So with that, I became super tuned with people's energy.

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It just comes with a lifetime I'm observing, you kind

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of tune to people. I can actually just tune into people,

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which is really really really helpful for my work. But

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and so again for me, it was trying to understand

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for me and then decode human beings was my thing.

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I was twenty three years old when I started taking

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personal development workshop for the same reason. So I did

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like personal development, business money, you know, get your life together,

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let go your past, like all that stuff. Constantly trying

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to get ahead of myself because I really felt like

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I didn't know really why I was here. Really ultimately

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that's didn't know why I was here. So it was

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an interesting challenge, but that that kind of mindset. I've

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always been very, very curious, and the human condition was

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my poll so it just constantly put me into that.

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Two thousand and six, I had like a couple of

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careers in two thousand and six in phase two of

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my life, I call it because I was a professional dancer,

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and then I opened a business in Los Angeles. Midway

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through this, I was still doing personal development. I'm in

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San Jose, California, on a business workshop because it's trying

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to get my business right. Like I raised the ceiling.

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I meet this couple on the flight back to Los Angeles.

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We're sitting on the same row, and I thought it

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was just I thought life was random to that moment,

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but it was a third pivotal moment in my life.

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That moment. I'm sitting on the plane with these two

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and the lady says to me, what do you do

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next weekend? And they go next weekend, I'm free. Why

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she goes, you want to come to a worshop? It's

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on me, and I go, yes, of course, that's the fack.

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I agree before I knew what it was, because I'm

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want to learn something and my brain's like this, right

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then those things to be costly, So then I go, so,

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what's the worshop about? She was always called understanding women. Okay,

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so when I tell this story, my friends like, really

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do such a thing, and there's no such state. My

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reaction was in that. My reaction was more like, because

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I have an autistic personality and whatever, I looked the

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way I look, and I've never had problems with the ladies,

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right Like, I always attracted sweet women, is what I mean.

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I attracted sweet women. I didn't do the crazies stuff

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my friends did. So this is one of the area

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that I was the most confident in life. And she's

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like understanding women in a workshop this weekend. Oh like,

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I remember thinking, like okay, whatever. But I was already

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said I was going to go, so I went. I

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thought it was gonna be cute. And I remember that

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Saturday morning, I did not want to get in the

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car to drive to the airport because it's one of

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the airport hotels.

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But hey, I.

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Said I was going to go, and I thought it

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was going to be cute. I walked in there four

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hundred people, Oh interesting, three hundred women, one hundred men.

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What but you can tell there was something in the air.

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That's all I can tell you. Like I realized it's

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like I was glad to be there, like whatever, for whatever, whatever,

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something is going on. And so we're surrounded man who

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peppered over the audience obviously say, but we're surrounded by

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women on purpose. I realized that I was told this

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after the fact because what they taught us about women

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was insane, was mind boggling. I slipped off of my

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chair at least seven times through other workshop, like just

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came off my chair to the ground, just and disbelieve.

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And the guy who's seemingly thought new women, who had,

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you know, an infinity for women and whatever? Right, I

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realized at the end of this workshop, my brain exploded.

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I know, I realized I knew nothing like zero about

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women at the time. I was so married with the

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two little kids, and I realized what scared me is,

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I know, not think about my wife. And I realized

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some of the ways they operated, some of the stuff

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that when I slipped off my chairs and realizing like,

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oh my, that's and it would stop the workshop after

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one of those big moments, and the worship leader would say,

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just so you don't think it's me the crazy lady

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out front, let's take five minutes. Check to the women

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next to you. Right and I spend like there was

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a nineteen year ol on my right and were like

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what she's like.

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Yeah, I'm like, well that's crazy. Well, sometimes we think

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we're crazy. That's why that wouldn't make me nuts, well

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sometimes a little bit nuts. And the kind of confirm

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when I just learned that was unthinkable. It was unthinkable, Like,

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you don't understand the way they process things, the way

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they hear. They hear different than we do, which sounds insane,

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but they hear different than we do. They're attached obviously

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different things. What motivates it?

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They think they take everything personally, not because they're crazy.

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There's a good reason, but like to a level that anyway.

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So I came home kind of devastated or scared, actually

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it was the right word, because I thought, if I

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know anything about my wife, what am I doing to her?

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Not knowing? That could be a liability, right because all

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my brothers and sisters are divorced too, three four times,

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like all of them. I have my family, babies, I

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have my wife. We're not we're not looking for this information.

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We're doing fine. But I now realized I don't really

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know how like what's going on with her, like to

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the point that I realized over the weekend. So that

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was to me again my curious brain went into I'm

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not going to be a statistic because I didn't know.

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So I went crazy. I jumped in the company. That

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company's curriculum. I did all their workshops. When I finished

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a workshop, think there was like nine or ten, maybe

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eleven different workshops about the relationship dynamics men and women.

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After you pay for the workshops, you can actually go

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back in the system, you know, be in the room

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and assists for free, just right. So I was in

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every weekend, I was in the workshop kind of wanted

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to hear it again, hear it differently with different questions.

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The material is so in tantalizing and it like detailed,

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you know what I mean. And that's how it started.

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Next to you know, I was I was on track

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to become one of their worship leaders because I'm a teacher,

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and so that didn't work out with that company, but

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that's when the launch was happening, Like this is why

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they realized like I had a passion for this and

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I needed to discover it again. Originally just for me

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and my wife, but very soon it was like I

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was teaching my friends, I was teaching my customers at

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the shop, like it became this machine. It kind of

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took me over. And so I studied with four of

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the masters, John Gray, Mars and Venus after that, and

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doctor Pat Allen Los Angeles, a family child marriage therapist

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for forty eight years of pretty six years at the time.

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I spent three and a half years in a small

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room with her and three other people, like she taught

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us everything that she's learning, so master and relationships over

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there alas sa'mstrong was the first lady ethropology pat doctor

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John Gray. The past fifteen years of his work is

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all about the chemistry of our bodies that affects our

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brains and our behavior. That it's completely different. So I

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kept studying, and like five masters later, with my own work,

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I have this body of work that I, without arrogance,

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I think is untouchable. It's a level touchable. So I

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live to the code relationship's dynamic and to help men

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and women attain a sustained, healthy relationship by understanding all

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the differences that we don't understand, because that's what we

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gets in that way. So so I told you, I

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told you it's a big one.

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That's great, and and you know it's it's it's fascinating

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that you know, as you're talking about it, that the

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genders do not understand each other. And and it's interesting,

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you know, as I've gone into behavioral type of information

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that I've done before, you know, I've noticed that, for instance,

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there's a and it's not always accurate, but there's a

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large percentage most women tend to be right brained. They're

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much more spiritual, they're much more loving, that type of thing.

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You know, men tend to be left brain where blah

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blah blah blah, And that's how that goes.

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It's a fact. It's a fact.

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It's a fact, and and if you don't understand that,

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that gets to be a real challenge. But I'd love

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for you to share with the audience what And of course,

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hopefully we've got some men listening here because you're going

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to talk about the women, and maybe you'll talk a

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little bit about the men as the women are listening.

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So let's start with the women. What What are some

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of the unique qualities and aspects to women's personalities that

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we need to understand if we want to develop good

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relationships and not only in marriage, but in business and

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everywhere else. I mean, that's that's the bottom line.

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Yeah, So in a nutshell, if forgetting, I'm going to

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try to get you there quickly. It goes. It goes

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back to anthropology and our ancestors and being men and

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women and having you know, get hunt togethers and having

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to come together a different, different style to survive. It

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was all about survival, right, ethopologies about survival. Every instinctum

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we have to survive. Hunters hunt gathers gathered, but one

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one works with the other perfectly to be able to

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can you know, pro create and continue the species survive, survive, survive, survive.

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So with that, let's say on your nervous system, on

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your DNA as a baseline hunter gatherer, there are two

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completely different machines made you come together and work together,

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but they're completely different. And so one of the things

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with the ladies that men don't understand is being logical

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in our heads. Like you said, right, we we we

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plan things, we function through our logic. First, we have feelings,

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we have deep feelings, but we don't drive our lives

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to our feelings. We just we drive our lives for

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our logic. Again, that's the only way to survive, right,

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It's been going on for a millennia. The ladies drive

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their liveshack you said, drive their lives to their feelings,

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not their logic, their feelings. So what happens is they're

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aware of everything that comes at them. That's part of

227
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the reason. Everything they see, everything they hear, smell, tastes Dutch.

228
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Whatever comes at them during a day's course makes them

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feel good and bad, like back and forth, you know

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what I mean. So, like their mood will change depending

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on what's happening. She could have a really good day,

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feel totally happy and her boss says, you know, you

233
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really messed up in that document. You need to go

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back and finish it and do it again. It was

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you know, now she's feeling mad. She's now she's mad

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or she's you know, like upset that she displeased and

237
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she has to go back and we do it of

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now she's in a bad mood, right, And then it's

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like so they kind of do this through the day.

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It's normal for women, right, but men don't operate that way.

241
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So if they approach us with feelings constantly that we

242
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don't understand because that's not how we do, and we

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approach them with logic, disconnect, we missed the boat, right,

244
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and we'll say stuff like, well you thake that personal.

245
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I'm just trying to help you and you two sensitive.

246
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I can't tell you anything. Yes, as a woman on

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the other side, you know, they think we're cold and

248
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shadow and disconnected and selfish because we're always on our heads.

249
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We're not present like they constantly are. Right, they need

250
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the connection to feel safe and connected, you know what

251
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I mean, We don't need that and needs you to

252
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like kind of leave me alone to be quiet most

253
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of the time, Like we need different things, but we

254
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are still blind to this. It's incredible how what each

255
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needs is so mars and venus. And in our culture

256
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now that we teach equality and fifty to fifty and

257
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all these things equal ris you will pay, of course,

258
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But now it's come to believe that men and women

259
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should be the same. So the men have to be

260
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sweet and sensitive and talkative and vulnerable to be good man. No,

261
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that's whr girlfriend, It's never going to happen, but that's

262
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the pole, right, the pulse in the culture. And then

263
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we've masculinized women. Go girl, boss, babe, don't even know man,

264
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give yourself some business and money because you can't trust them.

265
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They're toxic, right, So we'll masculinize the women, feminize the man.

266
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And it's it's a shit shows. That's what I see

267
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every single day. And I guess we're going against nature

268
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in a way that's destructive. Now, this calibration in that somewhere.

269
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But what we're doing doesn't work well.

270
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And you know, as you're talking about that, obviously it

271
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comes down to communication because, as you're saying, so often

272
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we say something to someone and they're going to take

273
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it in a different way based on whether personality and

274
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behavioral traits are. And I think one thing that's important

275
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that I've come to understand is I've done numerous personality

276
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behavioral analyzes. There are exceptions.

277
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Oh, absolutely, absolutely.

278
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There are exceptions. So I want the audience to understand

279
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that we're kind of generalizing, but we recognize that there

280
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are exceptions here because women that tend to be left

281
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brain and there are men that tend to be right brain.

282
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And if we don't understand that, I experienced that as

283
00:14:57.320 --> 00:15:00.840
a dad. I you know, I had a son that

284
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was left brain, and Okay, I get that because I'm

285
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left brain, and all of a sudden, over the time,

286
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I realized that I had a son that I was

287
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not communicating well with because he was right brain. Now,

288
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ultimately we were able to figure that out and now

289
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we have a great relationship. But I think it's really

290
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important that we understand how is it that someone wants

291
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to be communicated too? And as you've done those studies

292
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and you talk about really wanting to equip people with

293
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the tools to have excellent communication, what what are those tools?

294
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And how does an individual, whether they're a man or

295
00:15:40.759 --> 00:15:44.759
a woman, how do they learn to communicate in a

296
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way that's effective, respectful and honoring the personality and who

297
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that person is that they're communicating with the tools.

298
00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:00.879
Great question, So like, and again thank you for mentioning this.

299
00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:03.879
Because there is there's no men or all women are all.

300
00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:06.519
There's no such thing. Right, there's a norm and I

301
00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:08.840
call it there's an eighty twenty rule where eighty percent

302
00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:11.159
is all the same and it's twenty percent or not.

303
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:13.519
I call them hybrids, I call them different, I call

304
00:16:13.559 --> 00:16:16.320
them unique. Right, we're all unique. But there's there's a

305
00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.919
definite Like in everything in life, there's eighty twenty rule.

306
00:16:19.240 --> 00:16:21.240
There's a norm, and the people outside the norm. So

307
00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:25.799
operating weight, like you said, you know, operating from your

308
00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:29.080
left brain as opposed to your right brain sometimes switches gender,

309
00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:30.879
so that you have you have to discover that, you

310
00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:33.720
have to know who you're dealing with. Right, So, men

311
00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:39.080
who are right brain driven typically are left handed. Interesting.

312
00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:42.039
Their brain is wired like the feminine. I'm not calling

313
00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:44.879
him gay or feminine. I'm saying they actually live through

314
00:16:44.919 --> 00:16:48.200
that side of their brains which is more sensitive, more talkative,

315
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:50.639
more and more need to connect. Right, it's it's a

316
00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:52.919
more feminine approach. Now they're just wired that we left

317
00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:56.879
handed men o braave from their right brain. Interesting, about

318
00:16:56.879 --> 00:17:00.639
ten percent of men that and that explains standard manage.

319
00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:04.519
If you dealt with them, they're amazing and they're weird

320
00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:08.319
on something right because they function like men, but they don't.

321
00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:09.880
But they do, but they don't, you know what I mean,

322
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:12.200
depending on what's again a little bit what's happening in

323
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:13.880
the environment. So it's interesting. So you have to know

324
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:17.599
your audience. So when the people the mistake that I

325
00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:21.839
see people make again, it's not knowing right brain, left

326
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:25.519
brain masculine, feminine. We both have masculinefem within us. But

327
00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:29.240
as a male, typically the left brain drives more right

328
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:31.920
eighty twenty again right, the twenty percent will be to

329
00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:35.119
you know, being a right brain is like experiencing life,

330
00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:38.279
being in a moment, watching TV in a right brain.

331
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:42.079
Right daddy energy tends to be not a warrior energy,

332
00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:44.160
but more of a kind loving energy. Right, that would

333
00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:46.039
be right. So we have we both have both that

334
00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:51.559
women as well, So women ideally are better offen they're feminine.

335
00:17:51.720 --> 00:17:54.640
But there's a twenty twenty five percent of be able

336
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to function in the world, be productive. So we have

337
00:17:57.559 --> 00:18:00.400
to find a balance within ourselves first, and some people

338
00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:03.960
don't have it. Some people are inverted. Interesting, you have

339
00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:05.559
to discover that if you're going to be delicious with

340
00:18:05.599 --> 00:18:14.359
that person, right, so, and again understanding that, understanding who

341
00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:18.200
you're dealing with. Most people think that communication is about

342
00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:21.079
the words that you use. That's not it. Communication is

343
00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:23.759
about the results that you get, right, And if you're

344
00:18:23.799 --> 00:18:26.279
not getting the results and you think he's misbehaving or

345
00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.920
you think she's misbehaving or taking it too seriously, and

346
00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:32.000
it's not that big a deal, you're not communicating. You're

347
00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:35.480
assuming your communication is working on them. And like I said,

348
00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:38.599
the ying yang of this is I want to say this,

349
00:18:38.599 --> 00:18:42.880
it sounds ridiculous, but when I when we speak to

350
00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:47.000
women men, they're not hearing what we're saying and where

351
00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.200
they're talking to us, but we're not hear what they're

352
00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:53.799
saying because we speak and listen completely differently. It sounds

353
00:18:53.880 --> 00:18:56.039
ridiculous because you know, we look at each other. You

354
00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:58.400
understand the words come out of my mouth. Right we

355
00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:02.319
speak English. Ment to women will miss the boat because

356
00:19:02.359 --> 00:19:07.200
we speak directly and they don't. So when we speak directly,

357
00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:10.680
they often check this out for yourself hysterical. You'll say

358
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:16.519
something directly right and she's not sure. The women will go, hmmm,

359
00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:19.359
I wonder, we're just trying to tell me I say this,

360
00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:20.920
and they go, what's he trying to tell me?

361
00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:22.039
Right?

362
00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.799
So that's why you could offer that. The client asks

363
00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:26.640
me this, he goes, why is it that when I

364
00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.799
offer a woman a piece of gum? She gets offended

365
00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:34.039
because she's trying to because her brain goes, have bred breath?

366
00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:36.119
What is he trying to tell me? Right? Like? Because

367
00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:37.839
that's how they speak to each other. We don't know

368
00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:41.160
this right and vice versa. So when they speak to us,

369
00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:43.119
they don't want to be direct because they think it's

370
00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:47.559
kind of impolite. So they go in hints any windows,

371
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:52.720
which we goes right over our heads because we're direct speakers.

372
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:57.960
So stuff like stuff like hints tone of voice in

373
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the windows, right like, it's the way they communicate and

374
00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:04.839
woman to women, they know exactly what they're saying, but

375
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.079
we missed, we missed the communication. All. I'll give you

376
00:20:07.079 --> 00:20:12.119
an example. Silly stuff is a basic one. My wife

377
00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:14.799
this is years ago, sitting on the couch, girlfriend's over.

378
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:17.519
They're about to leave this late afternoon and the girl's

379
00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:20.799
about to leave and it was still early, so I thought, hmm.

380
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:22.799
I asked her in front of the girls to go, baby,

381
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:24.200
you want to go to movies? And the girls leave.

382
00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:28.240
It's still early, right. I asked a simple question, Babe,

383
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:30.599
do you want to go to the movies? Okay, here's

384
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:37.400
the answer. Right. She's like, yeah, I'm like cool, and

385
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:39.640
I go make some some plans. And the girls are like,

386
00:20:39.640 --> 00:20:41.319
who the hell is wrong with this? Dudey? So when

387
00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:46.519
you see stupid because that hmm, yeah, it's a giant now.

388
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:50.960
They all heard it. But what I heard was the word, right,

389
00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:54.200
Like what you're here is the word. They're listening for

390
00:20:54.279 --> 00:20:56.000
tones and that's why women say stuff like it's not

391
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:57.680
what you said, is the way you said it. It

392
00:20:57.799 --> 00:21:00.440
changes the meaning of everything what they're saying with the

393
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.839
hints of the tones and windows they understand. We don't,

394
00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:07.079
so we constantly or like missing the boat and we

395
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:09.400
think the other one is crazy. And I can't believe

396
00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:11.599
he didn't hear, like the girls could not believe they

397
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:14.720
didn't get that. But I'm waiting. I I just asked

398
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:17.400
the question. I gotta yes, I don't know. I don't

399
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:20.640
I have no ear for tones. And my wife will

400
00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:22.599
sometimes say that to me, like, you know, it's don't

401
00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:24.000
talk to me that way. You know, I go, but

402
00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:26.160
I'm upset. Do what you say like I'm upset, So

403
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:28.680
you'll get to hear that in my voice right, like right,

404
00:21:28.759 --> 00:21:31.079
But to her is offensive because it's kind of scary.

405
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:33.880
I get it, but like they're tone, they're just so

406
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:38.839
they This is a huge one that everybody's blind to.

407
00:21:39.880 --> 00:21:42.000
Everybody's blind to, and so you have to learn it.

408
00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:44.720
And so I don't know who teaches this outside of me.

409
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:48.920
I'm sure somebody else that teaches it. But it's a delicate,

410
00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:51.480
delicate thing that is essential to learn. So you don't

411
00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:55.640
get yourself in trouble thinking you know, he knows you

412
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:59.960
heard you and he's misbehaving. No, no, man, don't I

413
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.599
that way. Normal males don't act that way. Right, And

414
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:05.119
same the other way around, Like she's not crazy, she's

415
00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:06.680
like she's trying to figure out what you're trying to say,

416
00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:09.279
as opposed to hearing the words say.

417
00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:12.640
Well, you know, as you talk about that, and as

418
00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:14.920
you've studied with these different grous I'm sure you've come

419
00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:18.960
across and I don't remember the percentages. But when you

420
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.680
start and you mentioned this, when you start talking about

421
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.960
communication and those elements of communication, you have the words,

422
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:32.720
which are really a small percentage of that communication seven percent.

423
00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:38.160
You have the tonality, as you say, which becomes much larger.

424
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:42.799
And then you also have the body language which is

425
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:47.920
also there. And I think that people don't really recognize

426
00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:51.839
as you say, particularly you know, as men, if they

427
00:22:51.880 --> 00:22:53.920
if we happen to be left brain, it's like, okay,

428
00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:56.440
the words boom boom, boom, boom boom, it's it, And

429
00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.559
we don't recognize that the body langugea, the tonality of

430
00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:06.440
those type of things are really what other people are

431
00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:12.039
particularly picking up. So here's the question, yes, yes, how

432
00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:19.279
do we learn to communicate in a way that we

433
00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:22.519
take into account not only just the words, because even

434
00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:26.559
words can be in a words can be a challenge too,

435
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:29.599
particularly if we say something that's going to trigger something

436
00:23:29.640 --> 00:23:34.319
in someone. So how do we learn what the other

437
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:37.799
person needs as far as communication, and how do we

438
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:43.960
learn to utilize the tonality, the body language and the

439
00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:49.359
words in a way that create an effective communication and message,

440
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:52.839
And how do we make sure that the other individual

441
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:56.039
understands what we're saying.

442
00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:01.119
Right, So, good question, great question, complicated in her long answer,

443
00:24:01.160 --> 00:24:03.039
I'm going to try to go short. But because it's

444
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:06.480
so there's layers in that. But you know, in the

445
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:10.000
in the end is what I just said earlier, like

446
00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:12.359
they speak and listen differently. We both speak on this

447
00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:15.000
in differently. So just knowing that all of a sudden

448
00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:17.839
right kind of kind of puts your ear on on

449
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:21.359
on guard, like, wait, so but my wife, you know

450
00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:26.880
shet'll get this. So if she asked my opinion, right,

451
00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:30.759
I'll give her my opinion, but I know that sometimes

452
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:32.480
she has my opinion. I give him my opinion and

453
00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:34.960
she gets mad at me. I go, well, why don't

454
00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:36.200
you get mad at me? You ask my opinion, give

455
00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:37.559
my opinion. I'm a man, right, I'll tell you what

456
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:39.480
I think. You tell me like we should do this

457
00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:41.559
or this, and you think, you know, you think she's

458
00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:43.880
a jerk for I haven't done that, and I'm like, well, no,

459
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:46.759
actually she did. Just has the right to do this

460
00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:49.160
and it's kind of her job, and she's mad at me.

461
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:54.079
So because I discovered again communication this is another layer

462
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:58.759
is that when my wife asked from my opinion, she

463
00:24:58.839 --> 00:25:01.440
doesn't want my opinion. This is she's just supposed me

464
00:25:01.480 --> 00:25:02.400
to agree with her.

465
00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.359
And I'm I'm gonna I'm laughing at that because I

466
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:12.279
learned with my kids. I finally learned after years and

467
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:14.920
years that I had to say to them, all right,

468
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.279
do you want me to listen? Or do you want

469
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:22.160
my opinion? And most of the time they're saying, I, Dad,

470
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:25.000
I just want you to listen, And every once in

471
00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:27.279
a while I say, no, you know, I really appreciate

472
00:25:27.319 --> 00:25:31.440
your opinion. And and so I've learned that particular technique

473
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:35.200
that I had to do because I just challenged in

474
00:25:36.359 --> 00:25:36.880
with my kids.

475
00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:39.880
Yes, yes, because the same thing right the way, whatever

476
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:43.119
their motive is for the questions or the right to ask.

477
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:45.480
But I mean, when you're talking about it picked up

478
00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:50.400
communication exactly like this, like which, which what is you

479
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.160
asking me here? What is it? Sorry?

480
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:52.440
My phone?

481
00:25:53.319 --> 00:25:54.839
What is it you asking me here? Do you know

482
00:25:54.839 --> 00:25:57.119
what I mean? So before I answer the question and

483
00:25:57.160 --> 00:26:00.079
give them what I think they want, because I we

484
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:02.519
have a different brain right, So my wife, now, which

485
00:26:02.599 --> 00:26:04.559
has my opinion? I go, okay, hold on, so do

486
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:06.440
you want me to agree with you? Or do you

487
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:08.359
want me to give my opinion? Because my opinion, you

488
00:26:08.440 --> 00:26:09.920
might not. You don't. You just want me to agree

489
00:26:09.960 --> 00:26:13.000
with you, which is usually what she wants. Usually that's

490
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:16.160
what she wants, right, So she's like, ah, just agree

491
00:26:16.200 --> 00:26:18.200
with me. I'm like, well, then you're right. She's an ass.

492
00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:19.880
She should never done that. She should get fired. I

493
00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:21.880
don't believe. I can't believe they still hire that girl, right,

494
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:24.559
I just agree with that. Just skipility going to what

495
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.799
she wants me to say, you know what I mean?

496
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:30.480
And she's like, yeah, thanks, Like I okay, I get it. So,

497
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:34.319
like you said, asking the question often because we miss

498
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:38.599
the boats if if we think like another another one

499
00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:42.119
that is feminine again, feminine men will do the same thing,

500
00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:47.119
is my wife. My wife will ask me a question

501
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:50.240
that isn't a question, it's a statement that I'm supposed

502
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:54.680
to decode because it's obvious to her. That's you know

503
00:26:55.519 --> 00:26:58.519
she's doing. So I give you an example. Hysterical. It's

504
00:26:58.519 --> 00:27:03.680
sterical because I you know, one Sunday evening, she says

505
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:06.839
to me, babe, do you want to go out for dinner?

506
00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:11.240
That's a simple question, Babe, do you want to go

507
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:13.119
out for dinner? What did I hear? I heard?

508
00:27:13.160 --> 00:27:13.400
Babe?

509
00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:14.559
Do you want to go for dinn It's a question.

510
00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:16.680
She's asking me a question. Wants to know if I

511
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:19.200
want to go out for dinner. So I go, hm,

512
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:23.200
you know what, No, Like, I just you know, I

513
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:25.000
just want to stay home. And kind of I get

514
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:28.880
to finished some work and no, no, and I see

515
00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:32.960
it get like and I'm noticing that she's getting mad

516
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:35.000
at me, and I'm like, well, I don't understand. You

517
00:27:35.039 --> 00:27:38.079
asked me a question, and now I'm the bad guy, right,

518
00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:40.839
so again have to go fish it out.

519
00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:41.400
Now.

520
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:43.279
We discovered these things very well, but I can so

521
00:27:43.799 --> 00:27:46.720
communication right, something happened there, So I could let her

522
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:49.279
be mad, or I could rescue her out of this

523
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.640
and go find out. So I let her brew for

524
00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:55.119
a little bit because you know, I don't want to

525
00:27:55.119 --> 00:27:57.440
get an explosion. But I'm not sure why she's mad.

526
00:27:57.480 --> 00:28:00.160
She asked me a question. She's mad. So in a

527
00:28:00.200 --> 00:28:03.240
little while later, I'm like, are you okay? I'm fine,

528
00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:06.640
I go No, something's going on? What's going on? I'm okay, No, No,

529
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.839
So I can't. I won't let her go right because

530
00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:10.960
I want to get mad if she's going to keep

531
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:13.640
doing that, right, So, no, that's not fair. Something is

532
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:18.279
going on? Tell me? She goes, well, you know, I

533
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:20.160
didn't want to make dinner. So that's why I wanted

534
00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:22.920
you to take me out for dinner. Like, why didn't

535
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:27.079
you say that, babe? Why did you say that? If

536
00:28:27.079 --> 00:28:30.160
you said to me, you know, babe, it's Sunday night,

537
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.240
I don't feel like cooking. You know, what do you

538
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:34.160
think about going on for dinner? I would have gone, great,

539
00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:36.279
get in the car, right, because I don't if she

540
00:28:36.319 --> 00:28:37.559
doesn't want to cook, I don't want to make a

541
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:40.000
cook right, But I don't know where she did ask

542
00:28:40.039 --> 00:28:43.559
me a question, so she constantly and the girls around

543
00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:45.599
me that this is the way that women communicate. They

544
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:48.079
make a statement in the question, and you're supposed to

545
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:50.160
get the meaning. You know, do you want to go

546
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:53.119
for dinner? Means take me out for dinner? Right? Well,

547
00:28:53.240 --> 00:28:54.839
last week she asked me, she goes, you want me

548
00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:57.319
to go pick her ane a up? My daughter? Right?

549
00:28:57.319 --> 00:28:58.799
Do you want you want me to go? She asked me,

550
00:28:58.839 --> 00:29:00.279
do you want me to go pick he an aap up?

551
00:29:00.519 --> 00:29:03.720
I go, oh, hold on, it's the trap, okay, I said,

552
00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:05.119
do you want me to go? Do you want me

553
00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:05.599
to go? Get her?

554
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:05.839
Day?

555
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:08.839
And She's like, oh, that was too direct for her

556
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:11.119
to say. That was too direct for her to say.

557
00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:13.920
That's always the meaning, right as it would be displeasing

558
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:16.799
or ordering, like ordering me around, or like no, I

559
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:20.000
just asked me right, So, but she's asking me like

560
00:29:20.599 --> 00:29:22.599
and I go, oh, oh, oh, do you want me

561
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.240
to go get her name? And she said, well, I

562
00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:25.960
feel this.

563
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:26.319
Is my job.

564
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:28.200
Do you want me to go get day? Well, you

565
00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:29.839
know you work so hard and you just got home

566
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:31.160
that do you want me to go get her? Nay,

567
00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:38.039
that's the answer the question. She's like, oh, yeah, I go,

568
00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:41.519
I'll go get her. Nae, babe, It's easy. Just tell me,

569
00:29:41.720 --> 00:29:44.640
you know, I beat don't throw questions at me that

570
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:47.559
I don't understand. We hear a question, but that's not

571
00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:50.160
we but anyway, but she doesn't. It's kind of an

572
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.440
automatic thing for for ladies. So again understanding that the

573
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:55.160
more you understand and the more you catch it and

574
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:59.240
kind of you know, decode it. Right, there's the more

575
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:02.720
where the more you do this, the more it becomes obvious,

576
00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:05.680
the more it's a flow. And like I said, we

577
00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:09.160
still have miscommunications all the time. I'm educating. I'm an

578
00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:12.559
educative effective commission communication strategy for God's sake, and we

579
00:30:12.599 --> 00:30:16.160
still miscommunicate because of our instinct that we were wired right.

580
00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:21.880
But now the difference is when there's a we trip

581
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:26.200
on something, right, we always cool off. Cool off, take

582
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:28.799
your corners, you know, go for a walk, walk the dog,

583
00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:30.720
you know, for her to take a bath, whatever, Just

584
00:30:30.759 --> 00:30:33.839
cool off because we did. You know, when you argue,

585
00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:36.960
if you when you're heated, things go awry and then

586
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:39.079
you end up saying things that you can't take back, right,

587
00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:42.039
So never fight out loud. This is discuss that, this

588
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:47.279
discourse is something there are corners, come back neutral, right,

589
00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:50.640
and you go, well, what happened there? You know? So

590
00:30:51.079 --> 00:30:53.799
and she'll say something often like well, you know when

591
00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:55.720
you did that, this made me feel like this. I

592
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:58.680
didn't like it, you know, and that's what happened. Or

593
00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:01.000
like you know when you did that, when you said this,

594
00:31:01.039 --> 00:31:03.119
I mean you feel like this and you know I

595
00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:05.799
thought it was like crass or like not very loving?

596
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:08.400
Is that what you meant? Right? Like we actually have

597
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:12.680
a communication about the derailment because they'll happen, but how

598
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:14.920
do you kind of fix it? As really the magic

599
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:18.240
understanding that no one's behaving so she's not screaming at

600
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.079
me and telling me I'm you know, I'm a jerk.

601
00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:24.160
We could calmly say how did we get here? What

602
00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:26.759
happened to you on your side? Because I don't know

603
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:28.759
what's happened vice you know what I mean. And so

604
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:31.519
that's how we kind of come together and come together

605
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:35.119
and now we're That's how you also become safe to

606
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:36.160
bring things up to.

607
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:40.480
Well. And you know it's interesting and I know that

608
00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:44.119
your focus is on relationships, and I think that that

609
00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:48.799
is so essential, particularly those marriage relationships, those significant others

610
00:31:49.279 --> 00:31:51.839
that we do that I kind of smile as you

611
00:31:51.880 --> 00:31:55.160
were talking about that, because, as you say, you know,

612
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:58.119
you said this and this, and it made me feel

613
00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:01.559
this way, and I I kind of go an extra

614
00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:04.599
mile on that, which can get you in real trouble

615
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:09.440
unless you're both really working together on this is honey,

616
00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:14.559
what emotion came up for you when I said that

617
00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:17.559
that caused you to feel that way? And all of

618
00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:19.559
a sudden, then you get into the fact that, you

619
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:22.400
know what, when you said that to me, this emotion

620
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:26.319
came up in me, and I'm taking responsibility for this emotion.

621
00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.119
I got to figure out why I'm getting triggered by

622
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:33.279
the words that you're saying, and all of a sudden,

623
00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:36.279
what I found is when you have two people and

624
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:39.039
it sounds like you're in that situation where you have

625
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:44.880
two people who are willing to really listen, communicate and

626
00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:49.839
figure things out, all of a sudden, that relationship just

627
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:52.920
is so enhanced. And where you get into trouble is

628
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:56.200
when one person isn't willing to do that, or both

629
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:59.119
people are not willing to do that, and then all

630
00:32:59.160 --> 00:33:02.640
of it becomes is the five and ultimately a separation

631
00:33:02.759 --> 00:33:03.400
or divorce.

632
00:33:03.480 --> 00:33:06.000
Yeah, because he's a jerk and she's crazy, right a seriously,

633
00:33:06.039 --> 00:33:08.680
but the case. So there's a lot of data on this, right,

634
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:12.240
the people, the couples, all orientation, by the way, it's

635
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:14.799
not just men and women, it's all the couples who

636
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:19.839
succeed long term relationships. Right. One thing they have in common, right,

637
00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:22.160
there's a yin yang. First of all, there's a one

638
00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:24.559
that's more masculine, was more feminine, So they compliment each

639
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:27.839
other naturally. That's some people just have it naturally that

640
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:29.920
they just one wants to lead more one was support

641
00:33:29.960 --> 00:33:32.799
to lead, the one does not want to lead. What'

642
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:36.759
you know? What I mean. So personality wise, yin yang, extraverted, introverted,

643
00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:40.880
always in duality. It's beautiful, it's nature. But what I

644
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:45.000
the people who really like truly have quality of lives

645
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.079
and relationship is is they know how to do conflict resolution.

646
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.240
And it's actually in the conflict resolution that they get

647
00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:55.640
closer and bond even tighter. Because if I have your

648
00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:58.240
back and you have my back, which means we each

649
00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:02.000
want each other's best, right, so I want to understand

650
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:03.799
what's going on with you and why you're upset and

651
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:06.160
how I got you there, if I got you there right,

652
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:09.960
and vice versa. So when the couple has each other's back,

653
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:14.000
the communication is a lot more steady, Right, they could

654
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:16.199
be calmer, they understand today and they come back and

655
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:19.199
they can talk about it. Then what you're talking about

656
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:21.920
is in my world is triggers. We all have triggers

657
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:24.280
that are completely blind to the person because their life

658
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:28.320
experience is not ours. Right, So for me feeling abandoned

659
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:30.920
by my mother when as a kid, if my wife,

660
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.960
you know, goes to the grocery store and buys everything

661
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:36.119
for her and the kids, and that's happened when the

662
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:39.000
kids are little, she'll buy everything that the kids need

663
00:34:39.239 --> 00:34:44.239
and her and the food that I need. She completely

664
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.280
forgot about me visually, right, Like that's what appears to

665
00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:49.800
me because I'm sensitive to that. Right, and then I

666
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.119
go into what the you know I feel on love.

667
00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:54.880
I'm triggered, I'm angry, like how could she do all

668
00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:56.679
the work around here? I'm the one to bring the money.

669
00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.400
She can't go to the store and buy the food

670
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:02.599
that I need because I'm an athlete, so these very

671
00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:06.320
specific foods, right that I have to have. So so

672
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:10.280
we now know that's one of my triggers. Right, don't

673
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.679
act like I don't exist, because this person will go

674
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:15.559
away and you'll have another monster in front of you

675
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:17.760
and you wonder who you marry. Right, So we have

676
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:21.679
to also discover each other's triggers, you know, abandonment issues,

677
00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:25.119
neglect issues, you know, abuse issue like finance issues like

678
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:26.960
that kind of stuff. Like you need to know what

679
00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:31.599
somebody is easily triggered by. Because again, if you if

680
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:34.239
you can share these things, that's supposed to pretend that

681
00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:36.559
you're We all do this right in the beginning of

682
00:35:36.599 --> 00:35:38.679
the issue, we like we take all the flaws and

683
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:41.159
we hide them thinking, you know, they're gonna like you,

684
00:35:41.519 --> 00:35:43.719
but it's not real, like the person has to come out.

685
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:48.800
And so that whole hiding your flaws is actually counter

686
00:35:49.039 --> 00:35:53.880
it's it's it's counter productive. You really want to present

687
00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:57.599
them forward. So when they flick that nerve and you

688
00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:00.000
get upset that she gets upset and you go, wait,

689
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:04.559
did that just see the thing? Right? Like? Oh that's it? Yes, okay,

690
00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:06.840
well I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to so okay,

691
00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:09.679
so uh anything I do to make you feel better, right,

692
00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:11.760
and you could actually kind of gravel it, you know.

693
00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:16.000
So for women is all often them not feeling cherished

694
00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:19.159
and unloved, right, The hurst of feelings for us is

695
00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:23.079
being disrespected. And another blind another blind spot is we

696
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:24.639
don't know why they get their feelings hurt because it

697
00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:26.599
doesn't know feelings. I don't know why we get feel

698
00:36:26.599 --> 00:36:29.800
disrespected because there's things that disrespect us doesn't disrepect them.

699
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:31.400
So another layer into this.

700
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:34.360
And you know what as you as you talk about this,

701
00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:38.079
and obviously we're focusing on adult men and women, but

702
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:43.000
let's think about the children, you know, and parenting and

703
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:46.559
goodness and my goodness, what what do we do as

704
00:36:46.599 --> 00:36:50.280
we as we talk about those emotional overlays that the

705
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:53.599
children develop out to the point where now they're getting triggered,

706
00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:57.159
and you know, and it's life. I mean, you know,

707
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:01.559
we all do the best we can. But how important

708
00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:05.119
is it as what you're talking about, these principles? Is

709
00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:09.800
it to use those principles as you are ruining your children,

710
00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:12.320
as you are communicating with your children.

711
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:15.559
Well as well of course as well, because you know,

712
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:17.039
the way I speak to my son is different the

713
00:37:17.079 --> 00:37:19.320
way I speak my daughter, because I have a boy

714
00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:22.000
and a girl. Right, I keep you direct with him,

715
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:24.840
I keep be criticizing and he takes that as love.

716
00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:27.119
And you know, if I criticize my boy and I

717
00:37:27.159 --> 00:37:29.119
say he needs to get his life together or whatever,

718
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:32.000
right like, criticism, men on man, is an act of love.

719
00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:34.400
Because if I didn't care for you, I wouldn't say anything.

720
00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:36.320
So the fact that I'm saying something and I'm upset

721
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:38.159
and I'm actually angry because you need to wake the

722
00:37:38.199 --> 00:37:40.440
hell up, right, that's love, men on man. We all

723
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:44.039
know this criticism from man to woman, it's the kiss

724
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:46.880
of death. It's it's destroys women, you know what I mean.

725
00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:50.159
So the way I talk to my boys, talk to

726
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:53.400
my girl, Right, the way I help help them sort

727
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:57.440
of step into his manhood. That's not the way I

728
00:37:57.519 --> 00:37:59.679
raise my daughter. Right. I want to push my boy

729
00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:02.239
to do brave things that he's afraid of. I don't

730
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:04.639
want to push my daughter into doing things to make

731
00:38:04.679 --> 00:38:08.320
it more brave. Right. That's that's that's how you damage them.

732
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:08.599
Right.

733
00:38:09.320 --> 00:38:12.960
So there's a whole other there's a whole other dynamic

734
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:16.960
right there. But understand again, little girls live through their feelings.

735
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:19.000
Little boys live through their heads. Right. So if you

736
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:23.440
want to communicate man on man, it's easy, man on girl. Okay,

737
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:25.760
seen so easy.

738
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:29.679
So you've developed, you've created this project Equinox. Can you

739
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:32.960
share with the audience what is that? Yeah?

740
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:33.880
Well that yeah?

741
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:36.440
What do people experience if they get involved with that?

742
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:41.000
So Project Equanox basically is is the programs that I

743
00:38:41.079 --> 00:38:45.519
offer to help men and women understand these differences. I

744
00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:51.519
have programs of four to five months in chunks that basically,

745
00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:53.440
if you work on me one on one is five

746
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:55.559
different ways to work with me. But the concept of

747
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.039
dimunity to teach all this stuff, but no need to

748
00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:03.159
teach it because we know that information does not create transformation. Right,

749
00:39:03.239 --> 00:39:05.840
Listen to a podcast, read a book like that's interesting.

750
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:08.440
It doesn't change your life. Why because you have to

751
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:10.440
take action, you have to get it under your skin.

752
00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:13.800
You have to it has to be visual experience the

753
00:39:13.880 --> 00:39:17.000
first time that a woman who never feels safe with

754
00:39:17.079 --> 00:39:19.599
men in her life because they're daddy, right, like the

755
00:39:19.679 --> 00:39:22.239
trauma we talk about triggers in trauma. If a woman

756
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:24.920
doesn't feel safe in the world, every man's an enemy

757
00:39:25.320 --> 00:39:29.880
on her nervous system to some degree, right, And so

758
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:32.800
they're scared of men. They're super protective of man. They

759
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:35.239
don't trust men right that they can be vulnerable with men,

760
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:37.440
which could cost a whole lot of their lives, by

761
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:41.639
the way, because there's no way to live. But when

762
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:46.159
we decode and kind of release their trauma, right and

763
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:49.719
bring him the place of curiosity as opposed to fear.

764
00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:54.079
And then I teach women about men and to you know,

765
00:39:54.159 --> 00:39:56.199
in my world, there's three types of men. There's boys

766
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:58.320
or guys. They're men. They all look the same but

767
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:01.480
very different temperaments. And the boys are the ones that

768
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:02.960
you want to avoid because the boys are the ones

769
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:05.280
who take take advantage of women. Those are the toxic ones,

770
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:08.360
are the cheaters, the liars, right, because men naturally are

771
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:11.880
not those things. What I call the wounded masculine is

772
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:14.119
those things. So there's a lot of that out there,

773
00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:17.880
I get it. But to know who to avoid as

774
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:22.320
a woman who's been let's say, you know, not loved

775
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:25.639
rights as a child, and it's afraid of man when

776
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:28.800
you again, but it's a trauma, and realize that there's

777
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:31.239
only you only have to spot the bad ones and

778
00:40:31.320 --> 00:40:33.800
know how to avoid them, because the rest of them

779
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.039
is safe and they want to be heroes and they

780
00:40:36.039 --> 00:40:38.639
want to help. And natural instinct and men is to provide.

781
00:40:38.679 --> 00:40:44.360
Protect Cherish gives support, guide everything everyone right, protect women

782
00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:48.039
and children and anybody who needs protection. There's a man

783
00:40:48.119 --> 00:40:49.400
on the side of the road that's going to pull

784
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:52.000
over if your car breaks down. Another woman because for

785
00:40:52.079 --> 00:40:54.639
her there's danger and that she could fall into a trap. Right,

786
00:40:54.679 --> 00:40:57.800
So like a man will stop to make sure you know,

787
00:40:58.039 --> 00:41:00.519
to see if you could help you. That's natural mess Kennedy.

788
00:41:01.039 --> 00:41:03.760
And besides, always behind the first guy is the second

789
00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:06.159
eye pulls up just in case that guy's at peace.

790
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:08.960
Because we know they're out there, right, We know these

791
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:11.960
guys are out there. But that's so when a woman

792
00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:14.320
discover we need the true nature of men, the hero

793
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:16.960
and man, the providing, protecting all women at all time.

794
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:18.920
To all you have to ask for help and they go,

795
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:22.480
h sure, of course you know anything else, and you go,

796
00:41:22.519 --> 00:41:24.679
thank you for such a gentleman, and they puff up. Right,

797
00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:27.480
you have the powers of women to bring men into

798
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:31.880
the masculine even more by asking for help. So when

799
00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:34.199
this woman discover this, they go from being unsafe in

800
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:36.679
the world to realize that they were surmounded by heroes.

801
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:40.039
They're surmounts of protection. So it's a different world, right.

802
00:41:40.119 --> 00:41:41.320
So that's the work.

803
00:41:41.639 --> 00:41:44.800
So what you've really done, if I can just kind

804
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.079
of summarize and you can correct me if I'm wrong,

805
00:41:48.239 --> 00:41:51.800
you you have taken all this knowledge that you've gained

806
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:55.880
over the years with your workshops and your reading and

807
00:41:56.039 --> 00:41:59.239
with the different mentors you've worked with, and you've put

808
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:03.280
it all in to a package where people rather than

809
00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:06.280
having to do the same thing over heres. Can I

810
00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:10.639
actually go into your website and into the project Equinox

811
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:13.960
and there you're sharing all the information and as you say,

812
00:42:14.159 --> 00:42:17.719
sharing the information is one thing, but then you have

813
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:21.280
some way in which you are actually helping them to

814
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:24.000
integrate that into their lives.

815
00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:27.159
Yep, practice it, but to use go try this.

816
00:42:27.599 --> 00:42:27.800
You know.

817
00:42:28.159 --> 00:42:30.199
My favorite thing is again because when it are very

818
00:42:30.199 --> 00:42:34.440
different and what I tell them, which is it's factual.

819
00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:36.519
Like I tell the men that have the Owner's Manual

820
00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:38.960
for ladies, you just don't know how they work and

821
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:42.000
they can't explain it. They're responding, right, and ladies have

822
00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:45.079
the owners Manual for the men, same thing. Managers respond

823
00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:47.159
to you, and so how do you get the best

824
00:42:47.159 --> 00:42:50.800
out of him instinctively? Right? The provider protector. So that's

825
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:54.639
really the gig, like understand the other side, and part

826
00:42:54.639 --> 00:42:57.519
of it is is Louis, how many times I hear this?

827
00:42:57.639 --> 00:42:59.559
I say, go this week, you're going to go practice

828
00:42:59.559 --> 00:43:03.960
this right, and they go, how's that going to help?

829
00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:07.599
I'm like, okay, hold on, So your way doesn't work clearly,

830
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:11.000
because that's why you're here. I'm about we try my way, right,

831
00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:14.960
And so they go, okay, whatever right at the beginning,

832
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:17.320
in the beginning, because they don't some of the stuff

833
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:20.800
they can't really grasp, like why right, I go go

834
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:23.880
anyway and they come back they go, oh my god,

835
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:27.119
I can't believe that worked. There was I can't believe

836
00:43:27.159 --> 00:43:29.639
that worked like, men did exactly what you said they're

837
00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:32.440
gonna do. I go, well, because that's that's what men do.

838
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:35.159
I'm not a genius. I'm just telling you and that

839
00:43:35.239 --> 00:43:37.599
I kind of discovered this new world, right. The same

840
00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:40.000
with the man when they understand. When the man understands,

841
00:43:40.039 --> 00:43:43.719
because we don't we don't need connection to survive, and

842
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:45.840
we don't need to feel safe to survive. We create

843
00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:48.760
our own safety, and connection is something we don't need

844
00:43:49.199 --> 00:43:52.840
like the ladies. Right, So we're constantly scared the ladies

845
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:58.079
because because of our own basically basic wiring. But when

846
00:43:58.079 --> 00:44:01.159
a man understand the first wife I had a client sterical.

847
00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:04.000
This was a couple of years back. He calls me.

848
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:08.039
I didn't know him, he came referred, and he goes,

849
00:44:08.079 --> 00:44:09.920
I need your help. I go okay, he goes. I

850
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:12.280
goes up. He goes my lovely wife of ten years.

851
00:44:12.280 --> 00:44:14.039
She used to be so sweet as love of my life.

852
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:17.119
That's why I married her. She's amazing. I go, yeah,

853
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:20.760
he goes, well, now I come home, right, I come

854
00:44:20.760 --> 00:44:23.159
home from work. She's like, she looks at me, she goes, oh,

855
00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:25.800
it's you and goes in the kitchen. He goes, dude,

856
00:44:25.800 --> 00:44:28.559
she hates me. I don't know what happened. I go

857
00:44:28.639 --> 00:44:31.079
to work, I bring the money, I do my best.

858
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:34.760
I don't understand, and I'm like, I want to call

859
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:37.159
a name, like a dumbass. I go, well, because as

860
00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:40.960
a man, he doesn't understand rights. I go, I promise you.

861
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:42.639
I don't know your wife, but I promise you if

862
00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:46.239
she's really like this, she feels stakey for granted, right,

863
00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:48.719
she feels like neglected. You don't talk to her, You

864
00:44:48.760 --> 00:44:51.760
give it the one word answer, right. You don't notice

865
00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:54.480
everything she does to support the household because you're too

866
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:56.880
busy coming home, kicking off your shoes and turning on

867
00:44:56.920 --> 00:45:00.320
the TV. You don't appreciate all the stuff that's like

868
00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:02.400
you don't call it, you don't say it out loud, right,

869
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:04.639
you take it all for granted, like you just sort

870
00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:08.760
of kind of you're okay because it's all working. But

871
00:45:09.039 --> 00:45:11.880
she is not okay because she feels disconnected. And she

872
00:45:11.960 --> 00:45:14.159
feels disconnected because you know, talking to her and you

873
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:17.159
take it for granted. She gets resentful and she ultimately

874
00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:20.320
doesn't feel safe. So if you understand the feminine needs

875
00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:24.920
to be connected and safe, right, and just do that,

876
00:45:25.079 --> 00:45:28.039
and then then so he did, you know he did

877
00:45:28.119 --> 00:45:29.840
and kind of put in this this again, she had

878
00:45:29.880 --> 00:45:32.239
no idea both parties. I have to know. As long

879
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:35.559
as one knows how to bring instinctively the best of

880
00:45:35.679 --> 00:45:38.239
the other person, it just works. Right, So they respond,

881
00:45:38.599 --> 00:45:41.159
So it worked, and he's like, you know, it took

882
00:45:41.360 --> 00:45:44.280
about a year because it takes there's a program and

883
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:46.800
this a continue practicing. So right, so it lands. It

884
00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:49.159
takes a year for transformation. That's not a long time.

885
00:45:49.480 --> 00:45:51.719
That's not a long time for a new life. But

886
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:55.159
now he's like, dude, so I got my wife back,

887
00:45:55.239 --> 00:45:58.400
Thanks so much. But he's he knows how to do

888
00:45:58.440 --> 00:46:01.119
all this small stuff to make you feel connected and safe,

889
00:46:01.239 --> 00:46:04.800
something that we're blind to. He knows now, and he goes,

890
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:06.960
he goes, he goes. Now when I come home, she's

891
00:46:06.960 --> 00:46:09.079
happy to see me, and sometimes she's at the door

892
00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:12.559
with a glass of wine. Thank you. Right, But again,

893
00:46:12.599 --> 00:46:15.159
it's understanding instinct really, it's all it is.

894
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:18.400
So how do people find that? Project number one? And

895
00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:21.239
you had mentioned as we were talking earlier that you

896
00:46:21.320 --> 00:46:22.639
do have a gift for people.

897
00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:27.360
Yes, I do. So my website is Project equinox dot net.

898
00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:30.320
And again everything's on there I'm on also showed media

899
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:33.559
platform under either Project Equinox or my person my name

900
00:46:33.599 --> 00:46:35.880
on your parody, So depending on where you're going, but

901
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:37.480
it's all on the website. You should be able to

902
00:46:37.519 --> 00:46:42.679
find all the all the YouTube, Instagram, TikTok at LinkedIn,

903
00:46:42.719 --> 00:46:45.440
so that's all on there. But yeah, so so my

904
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:50.239
gift free listeners, and I think you'd appreciate that we

905
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:53.119
talked about this earlier before we started recording that My

906
00:46:53.119 --> 00:46:55.880
my God mission is to really spread this to the masses.

907
00:46:56.400 --> 00:46:58.000
What's out there in the world right now. It's not

908
00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:02.119
working when we talk about you know, toxic masculinity and

909
00:47:02.199 --> 00:47:04.159
man or crap and you can't trust them and they're

910
00:47:04.199 --> 00:47:07.400
dangers and cheaters. Right when you make all women fearful

911
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:11.320
of men, Well, how is this going to help? Right? So,

912
00:47:11.480 --> 00:47:14.320
but this out there, that's the pulse and so and

913
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:16.519
then we push the women into go girl boss, baby

914
00:47:16.519 --> 00:47:18.639
independent because you can't trust these guys anyway, and they're

915
00:47:18.639 --> 00:47:25.880
all players, and that's that's destroying basically relationship, that's destroying families.

916
00:47:26.519 --> 00:47:29.360
That means that children are not raising systems that are

917
00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:32.400
healthy so they could actually build their own healthy relationships

918
00:47:32.480 --> 00:47:35.400
and their own family. So then when family system fall apart,

919
00:47:35.719 --> 00:47:38.039
society and culture falls apart. That's what's happening out there.

920
00:47:38.119 --> 00:47:39.480
So what's your gift? What's your gift?

921
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:42.400
My gift is I noticed it's two type listeners on

922
00:47:42.440 --> 00:47:45.320
podcast because that's why I do podcasts. Right, So some

923
00:47:45.360 --> 00:47:47.519
people are here for information. They're curious, they starting to

924
00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:51.320
poke around, right, They're like information. So if you're a listener,

925
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:56.760
you'll find yourself. You know, qualify, classify yourself, will qualify

926
00:47:56.800 --> 00:48:00.639
yourself as if you're an information seeker. I want to

927
00:48:00.639 --> 00:48:02.719
send you directed to my email if you go to

928
00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:06.800
Andre Coaching the number one in Gmail a dre Coaching

929
00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:09.400
the word coaching number one at gmail dot com and

930
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:12.960
in the subject box right. Irresistible book. I have this

931
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:17.440
thirty page book called five Feminine Qualities High value men

932
00:48:17.480 --> 00:48:22.400
find absolutely irresistible. This is the work that I've done

933
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:24.639
with men and then men talking about where they find

934
00:48:24.679 --> 00:48:27.559
it resistible in women ladies. That will knock your socks off.

935
00:48:28.079 --> 00:48:30.519
It's free. If you just email me, I'll send it

936
00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:32.159
to you. I set out my website, I'll send it

937
00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:34.760
to you directly. It's a workbook, so there's pages and

938
00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:38.360
there's nose fit taken. It's fantastic. So information seekers on

939
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:44.800
your coaching one Irresistible book Irresistible. The second type listeners

940
00:48:44.800 --> 00:48:49.239
I notice are people who more like action takers, like

941
00:48:49.320 --> 00:48:51.079
some of the stuff that we talked about for some people,

942
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:52.760
like a lot of it resonates a lot of people

943
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:56.400
often because I'm teaching nature. So if something I said

944
00:48:56.440 --> 00:48:58.480
resonated and you're curious you want to have a conversation

945
00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:03.199
with me, I will actually absolutely grant you an exploratory call.

946
00:49:03.239 --> 00:49:06.400
It's on me Andre coaching one in a subject box

947
00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:09.840
just right talk now. You can also ask me questions

948
00:49:09.880 --> 00:49:12.400
you request both. I don't care, like this is the gift.

949
00:49:13.159 --> 00:49:15.079
And what I'll do is, I'll send you my calendar link.

950
00:49:15.119 --> 00:49:17.159
You'll find a space that's open. We have a one

951
00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:19.159
on one conversation like you and I are having right now,

952
00:49:19.239 --> 00:49:21.760
and then that will discover really I go right to

953
00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:25.599
childhood and finding the triggers that get us either too masculine,

954
00:49:25.639 --> 00:49:29.639
too feminine right, the injuries that we carry that drives

955
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:31.519
our life, and that's how we get stuck in the loop.

956
00:49:31.719 --> 00:49:34.119
So like that, and then we'll talk about if we

957
00:49:34.199 --> 00:49:38.000
know what happened is fixable that's what I do. Right,

958
00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:43.079
And so if you're not broken, because we it's fixable,

959
00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:46.199
like what's the dream life? Where do you want? Relationship? Marriage? Kids?

960
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:48.079
You know, turn whatever, right and then we'll talk about that.

961
00:49:48.199 --> 00:49:51.119
So for some people, whether like I said, it's five

962
00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:55.280
ways to get invested if you want. But and some people,

963
00:49:55.519 --> 00:49:59.079
even if you don't work together, just that call is liberating.

964
00:49:59.239 --> 00:50:02.800
Okay, So as we close, As we closed, what would

965
00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:05.519
be that short message that you'd like to share with people?

966
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:08.440
Okay, really quickly, it's again because of my work and

967
00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:10.239
when I see what's out there, I want to say,

968
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:14.559
ladies and gentlemen, think for yourselves. What I mean by

969
00:50:14.599 --> 00:50:17.679
that is, you know, there's a pulse out there that

970
00:50:19.559 --> 00:50:21.840
my assistant is twenty nine years old and she cannot

971
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:24.880
She wants a traditional life, she wants three kids, but

972
00:50:24.920 --> 00:50:26.840
she can't say that out loud in Los Angeles because

973
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:29.639
the women attack her. Girl, we need to talk. You

974
00:50:29.719 --> 00:50:33.920
better to be some girls some man's slave and children

975
00:50:34.039 --> 00:50:37.400
ruin you. Okay. So what I'm saying is she wants

976
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:40.639
to be traditional, right, be traditional. Think for yourselves. Be

977
00:50:40.679 --> 00:50:42.800
careful that you get caught in a title wave of

978
00:50:43.679 --> 00:50:46.840
boss babe. Gold girls, mena toxic. Just think for yourself,

979
00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:49.880
decode it. Learn this stuff, and be careful when you

980
00:50:49.960 --> 00:50:52.639
listen to because the culture right now is making This

981
00:50:52.679 --> 00:50:54.719
is why I'm so busy. Everything they teach in the

982
00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:57.079
culture is making relationships almost impossible.

983
00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:59.440
Okay, very good, Andre, thanks so.

984
00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:00.920
Much, absolutely, my man.

985
00:51:00.920 --> 00:51:05.159
I appreciate your informative appreciate it, and folks, thanks for

986
00:51:05.199 --> 00:51:07.679
listening to Hope you enjoyed it and we look forward

987
00:51:07.719 --> 00:51:11.280
to having you join us again soon. Go to Project

988
00:51:11.280 --> 00:51:14.239
Equinix and find out a little bit, because I guarantee

989
00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:17.079
you we all have challenges with that. So anyway, there's

990
00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:19.199
doctor Duck saying, now, mistake