Steps to Self Fulfillment and Happiness

WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.200
This program is designed to provide general
information with regards to the subject matters covered.

2
00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:10.279
This information is given with the understanding
that neither the hosts, guests,

3
00:00:10.519 --> 00:00:17.399
sponsors, or station are engaged in
rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

4
00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:22.879
legal counseling, professional service, or
any advice. You should seek the

5
00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:31.600
services of competent professionals before applying or
trying any suggested ideas. At the end

6
00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:35.439
of the day, it's not about
what you have or even what you've accomplished.

7
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:39.840
It's about what you've done with those
accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted

8
00:00:39.920 --> 00:00:44.640
up, who you've made better.
It's about what you've given back. Denzel

9
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:49.759
Washington, welcome to inspire Vision.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

10
00:00:49.759 --> 00:00:55.679
of others and to inspire you to
do the same. Andy, Welcome to

11
00:00:55.719 --> 00:01:00.600
the show. How are you well. I'm doing fine and what's better now

12
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:03.840
that you've welcomed me, Doctor Doug, thank you for having me. I

13
00:01:03.880 --> 00:01:07.519
appreciate you inviting me to be on
your program. Well, I really appreciate

14
00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:14.000
you being on the show and share
with the audience. Where are you from.

15
00:01:14.599 --> 00:01:18.719
I am from the Caribbean, the
Twin Island Republic of Trinidad and Tobago.

16
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:25.239
We're just about one point four five
million persons and we are located about

17
00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:33.439
seven miles off the South American course
bordering the country of Venezuela. You know

18
00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:38.400
national yeah, goh ahead, sorry. Our national instrument, just for reference,

19
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:42.599
is the steel pan and we are
currently supposed to be putting on what

20
00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:46.560
they consider as the greatest shoe on
earth, which is Candival that is just

21
00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:49.640
about two weeks away. Oh wow, that's great. You know, it's

22
00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:55.000
amazing, isn't it that you can
actually communicate with people and get to know

23
00:01:55.120 --> 00:02:01.120
people at such distance because of technology, which is wonderful. So what I'd

24
00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:06.480
love for you to do is share
with the audience who you are. And

25
00:02:06.560 --> 00:02:09.639
I know that there's a backstory.
I would assume there's a backstory. So

26
00:02:10.360 --> 00:02:15.400
who are you? What have you
been doing? And what brought you to

27
00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:17.919
this point in your life? And
were there any moments in your life that

28
00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:23.560
moved you in this direction? Okay, great, Well that's a loaded one,

29
00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:29.319
doctor Doug. But I'll do my
best. My name is Andy Charles

30
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:35.039
and what I currently do is I'm
a certified life and development coach, public

31
00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:39.080
speaker, writer, singer and minister
of the gospel, and I know that

32
00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:43.759
songs a lot, but it took
time for me to get to this point.

33
00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:47.919
Presently away I am. I actually
started out as a business owner.

34
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:53.199
I started my own business roughly about
twenty five years ago. It is a

35
00:02:53.240 --> 00:03:00.599
security protection service agency all better known
as a security company, and we started

36
00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:07.000
basically with three thousand dollars. I
remember at that time, I was basically

37
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.080
broke. It was all the money
that I had, and I needed to

38
00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:13.879
invest it, and I needed to
invest it smart. The catalyst for me

39
00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:17.120
wanting to open my own business and
do my own thing basically was because I

40
00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:23.560
was working for people who were living
a good lifestyle based on the work that

41
00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:28.479
I was doing. My energy,
my sweat, my resource, my time,

42
00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:34.000
and there was some long trying and
testing hours, and so I had

43
00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:38.439
this vision. I had this dream
that someday I need to be on my

44
00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:43.039
own. I need to be independent, making my own decisions about my life,

45
00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:47.919
creating my own hours, and basically
getting that kind of lifestyle that I

46
00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:52.199
could dictate the pace in which I
did the things that I needed to do

47
00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:58.000
for myself and of course my family. So that started about twenty five years

48
00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:02.759
ago, and then on twenty nineteen, when we had to deal with the

49
00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:09.199
height of COVID nineteen, something else
dawned on me and I realized that there

50
00:04:09.240 --> 00:04:13.599
were certain talents and gifts that I
had that I wasn't really using, and

51
00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:18.040
I felt guilty because I needed to
create a better avenue for more fulfillment in

52
00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:23.439
my life. My business was pretty
successful. I mean, we started out

53
00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:28.639
basically twelve employees and then we ended
up with about one hundred and fifty and

54
00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:32.279
from twoty thousand dollars a month,
we were making like four point five or

55
00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:38.439
four point six million annually gross income, So that was good, but there

56
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:43.240
was always something missing, doctor Doug
and I was on a search for that

57
00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:47.639
something, and I realized that there
were gifts and talents that I had hidden

58
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.959
for quite a while because I lacked
the confidence and the belief that I could

59
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:57.399
do something about them. And I
realized that speaking two people and with people

60
00:04:57.480 --> 00:05:00.319
became quite easy for me. It
was something that I enjoyed. It gave

61
00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:06.240
me fulfillment. It gave me the
opportunity to symbiotically resonate with people and to

62
00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:12.199
share things with them that were value. And I decided I needed to do

63
00:05:12.279 --> 00:05:16.680
something about that. So I started
to take courses and I decided I would

64
00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:24.279
certify myself, get myself accredited and
recognized, and I also joined Allons Club's

65
00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:31.600
International and I started working training with
them leadership quality Training, membership quality training,

66
00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:36.240
group quality training, and eventually it
put me to an elevated position where

67
00:05:36.279 --> 00:05:43.600
I would do seminars and workshops and
actually be involved in coaching people. And

68
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:48.759
I got a certificate of recognition from
the international president at the time for my

69
00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:54.959
work with Lions Clubs International, and
it's something that I am quite proud of.

70
00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:59.160
And so it took me to a
place where I realized I needed also

71
00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:04.120
to share this information that I had
received about myself, this knowledge that I

72
00:06:04.120 --> 00:06:09.240
had discovered about myself, because for
me, it was much more fulfilling,

73
00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:15.199
it was much more easier, so
simple for me to just go to someone

74
00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:18.800
and have a conversation and share things
with them and help them get clarity about

75
00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:24.279
the things that they needed in life. And the singing, of course,

76
00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:27.360
came easy because I grew up in
a home where my father was a singer,

77
00:06:27.399 --> 00:06:30.120
my mom was a singer. I
joined a choir Sunday school, the

78
00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:35.959
Full Works everything, but speaking with
people and dealing with people became my innate

79
00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:41.000
passion and that is a thing that
fulfilled me the most. And so I

80
00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:46.600
decided I would certify myself and that
I became a certified speech writer and a

81
00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:53.079
public speaker. And then the idea
of a podcast came and now we have

82
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:59.800
three podcasts, Breakout Room, Let's
Just Read, and Breaking Out of the

83
00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:03.360
R So basically, in a nutshell, if I can describe it like that,

84
00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:09.040
that is how I got to this
point where I am today. Oh,

85
00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:13.839
that's wonderful. And you know what's
interesting, I just excuse me.

86
00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:18.040
I just completed an interview a while
ago talking about how we discover our gifts

87
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:26.199
and how we discover our purpose.
And you have described so well your process

88
00:07:26.439 --> 00:07:30.319
of being successful in what you're doing, and yet there's always something feeling like

89
00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:35.160
there's something missing. And here you
are recognizing the gifts that you have,

90
00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:41.839
and as you've been able to follow
that process, here you are now in

91
00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:47.560
a very high level fulfillment, I
would assume. And that's amazing, and

92
00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:51.720
I think that's such a great thing
for people to understand that they can literally

93
00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:59.399
find that purpose, find those gifts
and follow them and it just makes such

94
00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:03.399
a difference. So I'm curious,
as you were, has you been coaching

95
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:05.800
people, as you've been working with
people in Lions Club as well as others,

96
00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:13.120
what have you found seems to be
the greatest difficulty that people experience in

97
00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:16.560
their lives. Has there been something
general that you've been able to say,

98
00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:20.399
you know, I hear more about
this than anything else. Or is it

99
00:08:20.439 --> 00:08:28.439
all over the board? You know, for some people it differs, and

100
00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:31.200
I don't think that it is all
over the board. I can now read

101
00:08:31.200 --> 00:08:39.039
down to basically two things. One
clarity. I am amazed at how many

102
00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:46.120
people lacked clarity in the decisions that
they needed to make about themselves and their

103
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.799
lives. And what we found out. What we discovered is that most of

104
00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:54.159
the time, the reason why they
lacked the clarity is because they were more

105
00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:58.480
or less trying to follow in the
footsteps of someone else, either that or

106
00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:05.480
and or they were trying to please
people, people that they felt they should

107
00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:07.919
look up to, people that they
felt were important to them, and as

108
00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:13.559
a result, there was not room
enough for them to really taking on the

109
00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:18.600
inside their true values, the things
that they would have to do for themselves

110
00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:24.399
to lift themselves out of a place
of mediocrity to a place of abundance,

111
00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:30.159
a place of fulfillment and enlightenment.
And the second thing is self doubt.

112
00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:37.720
A whole lot of people do not
believe in themselves. They do not believe

113
00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:41.559
in their ability. They do not
have that confidence that they can actually be

114
00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:46.879
themselves. And I tell most of
the people that I meet, you have

115
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:52.240
to be able to look the man
in the mirror and embrace what you see

116
00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:56.039
for what it is. It starts
there, and the reason why it starts

117
00:09:56.080 --> 00:10:01.000
there is because that is the real
you. Now, internally, what is

118
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:05.159
happening is that there's a constant struggle, and the struggle is basically based on

119
00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:11.240
either they had a lot of difficulties
in the past, things that happened in

120
00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:16.519
relationships, with investments, with people
on a social basis, and there was

121
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:20.960
no closure, There was not the
opportunity to bring it to a conclusion.

122
00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:26.600
So they have a lot of inner
scars on the inside. And because of

123
00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:33.559
these inner s cars not getting the
opportunity to heal that self confidence became something

124
00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:37.080
different, something unusual that they could
not handle, that they could not take

125
00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:43.919
hold of and control. And there
was a large number of insecurity that mounted

126
00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:48.120
up, and because they never had
the opportunity to confront it and deal with

127
00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:54.360
it, it became something that hampered
the ability to be confident, to have

128
00:10:54.519 --> 00:11:00.440
belief in themselves, and to understand
that their story is as important and as

129
00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:03.759
anybody else's story, and they ought
to be proud of it because that is

130
00:11:03.799 --> 00:11:09.320
the beginning of their truth. Well, you know, and you've said some

131
00:11:09.399 --> 00:11:13.759
really interesting things. I'm here in
Thailand right now, and so as fascinating

132
00:11:13.879 --> 00:11:20.639
as I as I have studied a
bit about Buddhism and recognize that as Buddha

133
00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:24.480
talks about, you know, overcoming
suffering, becoming the best that you can

134
00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:31.000
be, he doesn't use those words, but the reality is is that he

135
00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:37.320
talks about how you can literally reach
a level of goodness and kindness and beingness.

136
00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:41.240
And I love that. But you
know, I think one of the

137
00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:45.240
things that really strikes me, and
I know in your bile you talk about

138
00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:48.279
the fact that you're a minister of
the Gospel, and you know what,

139
00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:56.000
there's one saying from Christ in the
New Testament that where he says I am

140
00:11:56.279 --> 00:11:58.600
maybe it's the Old Testament, you'll
correct me here, but I am that

141
00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:03.759
I am, and you know it's
the old it's the old Testament. Sorry,

142
00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:09.919
sorry enough to day the oldestiny.
I corrected myself. I corrected myself.

143
00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:16.320
But but the point is is that
he's not talking. You know,

144
00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:18.360
every once in a while i'd bring
this up and have to be careful.

145
00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:26.720
But said he's not saying I do
that I do. He says I am

146
00:12:26.879 --> 00:12:31.000
that I am. And and then
as as they talk about, you know,

147
00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:35.639
be there for perfect, but if
you get into the original great meaning

148
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:43.039
of that as really be therefore complete
and And what I find is that it's

149
00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:48.519
so difficult for people, for some
reason to understand the goodness that lies innately

150
00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:52.200
within them. And you brought up
the fact that you know, they don't

151
00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.879
feel like they're really good, they
feel insecure, all of those types of

152
00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:58.919
things. What do you find it
is a is you've analyzed all of this,

153
00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:07.200
Why is it that people don't understand
how good they are internally and in

154
00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:16.080
reality? You know, I listened
carefully to Depak Chopra, and he said

155
00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:20.679
something to me that was very instrumental
based on the question you just ask,

156
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:28.799
and you also mention it briefly.
He said that many people find themselves so

157
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:37.039
busy that they become human doers rather
than human beings. And I understand that

158
00:13:37.120 --> 00:13:39.639
because at the end of the day, like I said before, if you

159
00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:46.879
cannot see the beauty and the simplicity
of the Creator in yourself when you look

160
00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:52.080
at yourself, then you're going to
have some problems. Not only that,

161
00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:58.879
when you begin to discover yourself as
an individual, as a being, and

162
00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:03.600
you enlighten yourself with the things that
you need to become, whether you choose

163
00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:07.200
to be a banker, a doctor, a lawyer, a writer, a

164
00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:11.320
musician, or sportsperson, whatever it
is you choose to become. If that

165
00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:16.799
is what you innately feel that you
need to do, then you need to

166
00:14:16.840 --> 00:14:22.720
go out there and pursue that.
But so many times we align our values

167
00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:26.879
with other person's values. You know, we have to follow the tradition of

168
00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:31.120
the family, or we want to
please those in the community that we involve

169
00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:35.440
in socially, and sometimes when we
do that, we end up losing our

170
00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:41.360
way. So the best thing to
do is to decide early in life,

171
00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:48.000
what is that gives me the greatest
pleasure in what I do? What it

172
00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:52.759
is that gives me a sense of
fulfillment. It may not necessarily make me

173
00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:58.679
feel complete and whole, but it's
something that I gravitate to very naturally.

174
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:01.960
I get up in the morning and
I can do it without a wink.

175
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:05.559
In a heartbeat, I can transform
to being that kind of individual. That

176
00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:09.919
is extremely important. The other thing
that I think people I challenge with is

177
00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:18.399
what we call traditionally the imposter syndrome, where we are trying to please three

178
00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:22.559
different factors of people in our lives
at the same time. And I've seen

179
00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:28.399
situations where people get up in the
morning and you see them, and that's

180
00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:31.559
one individual and they take a shower, they drink a cup of coffee,

181
00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:35.360
they have breakfast, and they go
out there in the public. That's a

182
00:15:35.399 --> 00:15:41.879
different individual, same person, different
personality. They get on public transport,

183
00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:46.080
they go to the mall, they
get to the office, a different personality.

184
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:50.720
Again, so you have one person
in three different environments, giving you

185
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:56.799
three different personalities. By the time
you get home in the evening or the

186
00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:03.240
afternoon or the night, you're fully
confused. Your brain is somewhere else and

187
00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:06.879
your body is trying to catch up, or it's the opposite. So what

188
00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:11.440
we need to do is to narrow
down basically the thing that we can define

189
00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:18.080
within ourselves. That gives us that
personal sense of value that we can hold

190
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:23.600
onto, and it helps us to
build characters and mannerisms that we can exemplify

191
00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:27.799
and share with people. Because for
me, basically, if you can get

192
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:32.559
to the point where you recognize what
your purpose is, why am I here?

193
00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:37.200
Ask yourself that question, why am
I created? What is the purpose

194
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:41.679
that I'm supposed to fulfill? What
is the destiny that I'm supposed to take

195
00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:48.799
up and embrace that is made specifically
for me. That's importance, that's value.

196
00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:53.440
When you hold onto that and you
seek that and you discover that and

197
00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:57.639
it brings you that level of fulfillment, then it does not matter what someone

198
00:16:57.799 --> 00:17:03.599
says or think does. What you
are going to hold onto is what you

199
00:17:03.680 --> 00:17:08.599
have discovered, because now that becomes
your treasure, your value, and it

200
00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:14.400
gives you the opportunity to be vulnerable
because now you can share with others and

201
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:18.000
even make a difference in people's lives. Well. And you know, I

202
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:26.240
love behavioral analysis and I'm certified in
that, and one of the things I

203
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:33.160
love to do is to do these
behavioral profiles. And the one that I

204
00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:36.920
really enjoy doing and the one that
I've researched out. It really goes in

205
00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:41.640
and analysis the three different types of
personalities that we have. One is that

206
00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:47.000
innate personality, is you say,
who are we really? And then you

207
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:51.839
get into that social personality who do
we need to be? And then you

208
00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:55.319
get into that conscious personality, which
is kind of a combination of all of

209
00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:59.720
that. But what I find is
I have taught some of this one of

210
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:03.079
the things that I find so interesting, and you bring it up so well.

211
00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:08.640
We have different personalities based on the
environment that we're in. But the

212
00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:17.880
question is are we at the effect
of that environment or are we in control?

213
00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:22.440
And I think that makes such a
difference because if we're the effect,

214
00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:26.000
Okay, I'm here in my work, so this is how I have to

215
00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:29.160
be, or I'm here at this
party and this is how I have to

216
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:32.279
be. Or I'm here at church
and this is how I have to be,

217
00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:36.480
or I'm here at home and this
is how I have to be because

218
00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:42.079
this is what they've been taught versus
knowing who you are and being in control

219
00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:45.920
and saying, you know what,
I'm in an environment right now that I

220
00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:51.839
need, I can choose to behave
and be this way because it's appropriate and

221
00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:56.680
it helps those surrounding me. If
I'm at work, Okay, this is

222
00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:59.400
how I need to be at work, because that's how I'm going to be

223
00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:03.680
most successed and also how I can
be of greater value to the company and

224
00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:08.799
those around me. The difference is
being at the effect or in control,

225
00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:15.599
and I find that to be fascinating
for people because in most cases I've experienced

226
00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:21.440
this too. I'm at the effect
of this environment, and therefore I'm not

227
00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:26.759
in control. Therefore I'm not really
It's not me, it's somebody else that

228
00:19:26.839 --> 00:19:33.680
I'm trying to be. Yeah,
I think it is extremely important for us

229
00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:44.559
to be comfortable with who we are. If we constantly find ourselves being so

230
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:51.920
much influenced by the environment and we
have to switch or mood us up a

231
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:57.480
randai so that we can either fit
in or be pleasing to those who are

232
00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:03.720
in that same environment, we're going
to have confusion for a long time.

233
00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:08.960
But if, on the other hand, we realize that because we are in

234
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:15.920
a particular environment and it requires a
certain behavior, we may change to conform

235
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:21.920
to that behavior because it is required. But if the basic profile of our

236
00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:30.039
humanity or characteristics or mannerisms remains the
same, and that basic foundational aspect of

237
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:34.279
ourselves is not touch, move,
or influence, then it's a better approach.

238
00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:38.559
And the reason why I say that
is because it means therefore that we

239
00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:45.279
are the ones that are in control
and not necessarily being at the mercy of

240
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:49.839
the environment. So, first of
all, it starts with not just being

241
00:20:49.920 --> 00:20:55.519
comfortable with who we are, but
accepting that because of who we are,

242
00:20:56.440 --> 00:21:03.880
we are the real value that projects
our mannerisms, our characteristics, and when

243
00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:07.319
we go out there and we are
among people, we are not ashamed of

244
00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:12.119
being who we are. And yes, we may have to conform to certain

245
00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.920
behaviors. I mean, if you're
in the court house, you have to

246
00:21:15.960 --> 00:21:18.920
conduct yourself in a certain manner.
If you're in church, you have to

247
00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:23.319
conduct yourself in a certain manner,
if you're in an interview, you have

248
00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:26.920
to conduct yourself in a certain manner. But as long as that does not

249
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:37.400
affect the basic foundation of your humanistic
mannerism, beliefs, desires, values,

250
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:41.880
then things are going to be much
more better for you because it means therefore

251
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:48.680
that you are still in control of
your innate self and not being affected just

252
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:52.599
by the environment. Amen to that
well, And you've written some books,

253
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:56.559
and one that I'm aware of is
to Lose a Dream. I'd really be

254
00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:02.759
interested in knowing what motivated you to
write that and what is the message that

255
00:22:02.839 --> 00:22:11.480
you're seeking to share in that book. I wrote that about probably about fourteen

256
00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:18.359
fifteen years ago, and the motivation
came from something that I had tried and

257
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:22.559
I did not succeed in it.
I wanted to go into business at that

258
00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:29.920
time other than what I was doing. It was like a sort of by

259
00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:33.480
the side something that I was trying
to do because, you know, for

260
00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:37.640
some reason the earlier I found that
I was being consistent in the current business

261
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:41.519
that I was in. But at
the same time, I was thinking,

262
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:45.160
if something should go wrong here,
what do I fall back on? And

263
00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:51.079
we're always taught you need to have
more than one source of income. So

264
00:22:51.160 --> 00:22:56.319
I wanted to do something that was
different and it did not work out.

265
00:22:56.440 --> 00:23:00.200
It did not succeed, it failed. And in the process of trying to

266
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:06.960
do something in the midst of being
successful, trying to do something that did

267
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:11.279
not turn out to be a success, I learned some things. And the

268
00:23:11.319 --> 00:23:17.000
information that I learned, the experience
that I got is what I decided to

269
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:22.039
put into that book, and that
is why I abstractly name it to Lose

270
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:29.200
a Dream, because many people do
not know how to lose something gracefully.

271
00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:36.039
They consider a loss as something that
is that should be forgotten, should not

272
00:23:36.119 --> 00:23:41.039
be considered, or something that is
negative. But a loss in many ways

273
00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:47.319
is a lesson, a lesson for
us to understand that there are some things

274
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:49.920
that we should not do and there
are some things that we can do.

275
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:55.359
And the ecotomy is very simple.
It's very simple in the sense that if

276
00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:59.880
I did not go through that process, I would not have learned the things

277
00:24:00.119 --> 00:24:04.759
that I learned. And it's because
of the experience of trying to diverse or

278
00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:12.200
diverse my business operations, I realize
that fundational business, in terms of how

279
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:18.599
you do it, is extremely important. And the thing about it is you

280
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:23.079
cannot be trying to do too many
things at the same time and expect to

281
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:30.559
succeed. You have to either focus
on one or find a team of people

282
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:33.559
that would come together and believe in
your dream, support you, and commit

283
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:37.920
themselves to helping you doing something other
than you are currently doing right now.

284
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:41.960
So at the end of the day, what I decided was. Since I

285
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:45.799
had learned so much from this experience, I'm going to put it into a

286
00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:52.160
publication and call it to Lose a
dream. Well, and I love that.

287
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:57.400
And of course you're focusing on your
experience in business, but how well

288
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:03.799
does that transition into personal life.
How many times do we experience failure in

289
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:08.720
our personal lives, whether it's losing
a friendship or you know, relationships or

290
00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:15.559
whatever that happens to be. And
how often do we find ourselves blaming ourselves

291
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.799
or you know, thinking where I'm
a failure and so forth, rather than,

292
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:23.640
as you say, so well,
looking at it from the perspective of

293
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:29.920
what have I learned? This is
a lesson that I've got the opportunity to

294
00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:36.920
learn so that next time around I
can do better. Well, you see

295
00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:42.039
the thing about it is this many
people believe that anything that does not go

296
00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:48.839
their way, anything that happened that
brought back a negative response or a negative

297
00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:56.880
result, is something that happened to
them. In my coaching, I help

298
00:25:56.920 --> 00:26:02.079
them to realign by getting them to
understand what happened was not to you,

299
00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:10.599
but what happened was for you.
There's always a message in the mess.

300
00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:19.279
The challenge is perspective perspective meaning what
lens do you see that negative situation or

301
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:25.880
that negative result in. If your
perspective is based on the fact that you're

302
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.359
looking at the end result and not
the process that brought it to the end

303
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:33.920
result, you're going to miss that
lesson that you're supposed to learn. But

304
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:40.599
if you were paying attention to details, then you would understand that something happened

305
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:45.160
and that something was the reason why
it did not work out or it feeled

306
00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:49.319
or it did not end up being
a result in your favor. When you

307
00:26:49.400 --> 00:26:57.880
can get to that point where you
become emotionally strong or mature enough to sort

308
00:26:57.880 --> 00:27:04.920
of claire the confusion and see the
core reason why something did not work out,

309
00:27:06.680 --> 00:27:11.400
then objectively you can learn the lesson
out of it. I remember hearing

310
00:27:11.480 --> 00:27:18.319
an interview with Michael Jordan and he
was saying, I have made thousands and

311
00:27:18.599 --> 00:27:27.000
thousands of shots at the basket,
and on many instances I fail. But

312
00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:33.160
the reason why I am so successful
is because I fail. Here's the thing.

313
00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:38.799
Every time he failed, he took
note of the failure and he recognized

314
00:27:40.279 --> 00:27:47.599
it just needed a slight adjustment.
Mentally, that's challenging because it is so

315
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:51.200
easy to feel the press when you
fail. But at the end of the

316
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:53.599
day, if you realize that there
is something that you need to do just

317
00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:59.720
a little better or just a little
more that could make the difference. When

318
00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:03.440
you begin to understand that that is
the mindset you have to have and the

319
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.279
perspective of the lens through which you
see the things you experience and even in

320
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:14.119
life, then you will come to
the conclusion that if I perceive that I

321
00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:18.720
need to learn something from this,
then I will seek to find the details

322
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:22.440
that would lead me to the root
cause or the lesson while the process is

323
00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:29.599
actually taking place. And when that
happens, we become an individual who receive

324
00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:34.039
value out of the experience even though
it did not go the way we expected

325
00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:37.920
it too. Yes, and I
want to go even a little bit deeper

326
00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:42.119
in your in your experience. And
this has been my observation among many people

327
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:49.880
that I know and friends that I
know that the experience that they're having they

328
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:55.000
have created, and yet they don't
take responsibility for that. You know,

329
00:28:55.039 --> 00:28:57.440
they'll blame this person, this situation, so on and so forth. But

330
00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:04.440
as you coach people, how often
do you find that there are certain situations

331
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:11.920
where people are literally creating their own
life that they don't like, and they're

332
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:15.119
not really willing to take responsibility and
realize that, you know what, the

333
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:21.880
movie of my life I am creating, I am not only the writer,

334
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:26.680
but I'm the producer. And you
know, you talk about clarity, talk

335
00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:33.200
about responsibility, being able to finally
understand and accept the fact that, you

336
00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:37.079
know what, I am creating my
own life in so many ways, and

337
00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:41.599
if I don't like it, then
I need to make some changes. I

338
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:44.960
need to understand and then make some
changes. And I'm sure that's what you

339
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:48.720
do with your coaching, But what's
been your observation with that? Yeah,

340
00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:55.839
And it takes me back to what
we were speaking about earlier. If there's

341
00:29:55.880 --> 00:30:00.240
a lack of clarity, and I
need to sort of backup here a little

342
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:08.279
bit. There are some things that
we do that focuses on neuroplasticity, and

343
00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:14.640
I'm sure you're probably familiar with that
term absolutely, And what some people don't

344
00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:19.319
realize, doctor Doug, is that
even though they grew up in a particular

345
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:26.519
environment and their lives were affected by
the culture, the beliefs, whether it

346
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:33.240
be religious or the socioeconomical environment,
that they would have come out from.

347
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:38.519
What some of us don't realize is
that when I sit down to coach you

348
00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:45.799
or to be of service to you
from a coaching perspective, I see all

349
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:51.359
those things in you. Some people
don't realize that. They don't realize that

350
00:30:51.519 --> 00:30:56.680
most of what they have become evolves
around an ecosystem that exists around them,

351
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:00.319
some that they know and some that
they don't know. And so the greatest

352
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:07.759
challenge that most of them face is
that they will not accept responsibility even for

353
00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:15.119
the results in their lives, because
they find it easier to cause aspersions and

354
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:23.279
blames on other people things, circumstances, situation until I get them to go

355
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:30.200
deep, go back down memory lane
and think about your thought process. What

356
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:34.400
were you thinking about, What was
your deepest conviction at the time, What

357
00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:41.920
is the emotion that you harbored within
concerning that particular situation? And when it

358
00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:45.279
begins to open to them because they
go back into memory lane, they dig

359
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:51.480
down into themselves in retrospect, and
then they start to come to the light

360
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:56.400
and see and realize and recognize,
Wait a minute, was I thinking that

361
00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:01.000
way? Did I really say that
I do that? And most of them

362
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:06.880
are surprised by the things that they
have cultivated for themselves over the years.

363
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:12.440
So what we do is we help
them see their story as it is and

364
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:17.359
then tell them look at it not
just from somebody who's participating, but from

365
00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:22.720
somebody who's an observer from the outside, and see if you can see it

366
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:29.759
from a different perspective, a different
lens, what other direction, what other

367
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:34.240
perspective, what other lens can you
see it in? Can you imagine seeing

368
00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.440
it this way? And you give
them options and then they begin to think

369
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:44.079
and realize, through the process of
neuroplasticity, you know what I could change.

370
00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:45.799
I could change the way I think, I could change the way I

371
00:32:45.799 --> 00:32:50.039
see things. And it's a process. It starts with, first of all,

372
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:57.119
recognizing that I have to accept responsibility
for where I am currently now in

373
00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:01.119
this life. It's all about me, despite what I think about people,

374
00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:06.720
circumstances, what may I call karma, what however I want to term it,

375
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:13.319
I ultimately must accept responsibility for the
results that I have seen thus far.

376
00:33:14.200 --> 00:33:16.240
When it starts with that, it's
the first step to get in that

377
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:22.119
process ongoing and move into the next
level, and then to see a story

378
00:33:22.119 --> 00:33:27.680
from a different perspective, not just
as a participator, but as an observer

379
00:33:27.720 --> 00:33:31.119
who would then have a different perspective
of a different take that would take them

380
00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:35.400
to a next level. And then
when they decide what they are going to

381
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:40.359
embrace going forward, we find ourselves
connecting on a different level and they are

382
00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:45.519
now saying, yes, I believe
that I can now see changes in my

383
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:52.160
life because I realize what it means
now to see things differently. Well,

384
00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:55.559
you talk about neuroplasticity, and I'm
not sure a lot of people really understand

385
00:33:55.599 --> 00:34:00.559
what that's all about, because literally
we can change, you know, they

386
00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:04.559
talk about how do you change a
habit? It takes ninety days or more

387
00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:08.719
to do that. But what people
don't understand is as you were doing that,

388
00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:16.599
what you're literally doing is you were
taking that neural pathway of behavior and

389
00:34:16.679 --> 00:34:22.159
moving it to the side and creating
a new pathway with that new habit and

390
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:27.079
ultimately creating that what I find fascinating, and I don't know if you've done

391
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:31.079
any study on this, but we
talk about epigenetics. You know, it's

392
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:39.880
interesting. It's interesting to see how
children oftentimes mimic parents, and so many

393
00:34:39.960 --> 00:34:45.559
times, you know, you're experiencing
an emotion you're experiencing a behavior whatever,

394
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:51.880
and you go, where on earth
did that come from from? And yet,

395
00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:57.199
what we don't understand that with this
epigenetics, that there are things that

396
00:34:57.320 --> 00:35:01.960
attach to our DNA that then we
ate those neural pathways that have nothing to

397
00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:05.719
do with us and may have nothing
to do with our parents. I may

398
00:35:05.760 --> 00:35:08.840
have something to do with our grandparents
or great grandparents, and it's there.

399
00:35:09.559 --> 00:35:15.920
But as you say, then the
point is is once you have some clarity

400
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:21.000
that it doesn't matter where it comes
from, it's internal right now in me.

401
00:35:22.280 --> 00:35:24.519
So what do I need to do? I need to number one recognize

402
00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:29.400
it, to have thirty that is
there, and then number two make the

403
00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:36.039
decision that I am going to change
that neural pathway. And it's fascinating to

404
00:35:36.119 --> 00:35:39.840
see. I tell my kids all
the time, or many times, you

405
00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:45.840
know, my dad was from what
I can understand, my dad was,

406
00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:52.000
you know, hit by a belt
by his father many times. And guess

407
00:35:52.079 --> 00:36:00.400
what, my parents never ever touched
us from that perspective. And I look

408
00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:06.320
at my children and my brother's children, and from all that I can see,

409
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:10.000
they never do that either, unless
you know it's a middle spanking or

410
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:21.159
whatever. But it's not there.
And literally my father consciously change that neural

411
00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:27.400
pathway, that epigenetic aspect in his
life, and because he did that with

412
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:31.480
his children, that's being passed down
in a positive way now. And I

413
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:37.440
think it's important to understand how we
can if we're experiencing some of those types

414
00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:42.239
of things, we can make the
decision that we are going to change that

415
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:46.960
so that generations beyond us are not
going to experience the same thing that we

416
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:54.239
may have experienced or seen one of
our parents' experience. Absolutely absolutely, And

417
00:36:54.360 --> 00:36:58.960
you know, in addition to that, and as you said, we need

418
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:07.880
to take sometimes a deep dive to
understand that we are dimensionally made up individuals.

419
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:10.400
And as you rightfully say, there
are things that would have been passed

420
00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:15.719
down from generation to generation to generation, and sometimes we end up doing things

421
00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:21.440
without thinking about the consequences, without
thinking about the end result. But what

422
00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:27.400
happened if we decide for one moment
to look at it and to survey in

423
00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:31.239
the manner in which we have not
seen it before, look for the novelty

424
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:37.559
in it, become very childlike and
curious about it, Exploit it, exploit

425
00:37:38.360 --> 00:37:45.280
ask questions, get involved in a
community that does the same thing. I

426
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:49.320
was supposed to have an interview with
a guy yesterday, and he has founded

427
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:55.519
a community where he is teaching fathers
how to be better closer aligned with their

428
00:37:55.639 --> 00:38:00.840
children because when he was a young
man growing, there was no alignment,

429
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:07.679
no connection, no sort of mentorship
communication between him and his father. And

430
00:38:07.800 --> 00:38:12.639
what he decided as a result is
when he became an adult and he became

431
00:38:12.679 --> 00:38:19.000
a father, he would do everything
possible to right the wrongs that he believed

432
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:22.719
he experienced as a result of a
lack of his father being there for him

433
00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:27.320
when he needed him the most.
And so what we have to understand is

434
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:31.360
we have to take time out to
truly discover the things that are valuable to

435
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:37.280
us and to understand it is not
just because something has been passed down that

436
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:40.679
we should go in that step and
follow it and do it. We need

437
00:38:40.679 --> 00:38:45.679
to question things. We need to
become curious, inquisitive in an innocent way.

438
00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:51.360
Why innocent, because we need to
understand why it was being done,

439
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:57.079
why it was expected to be done, and what is the result if we

440
00:38:57.159 --> 00:39:00.679
continue doing it. And so if
we look at it from that perspective,

441
00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:06.400
we'd realize that the change that we
need to see, it starts with us.

442
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:10.559
It begins with us having that deep
conviction first, and then when we

443
00:39:10.639 --> 00:39:16.400
display that conviction, we can take
the necessary steps to engender that change and

444
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:22.480
pass it on to others as well. And what a difference that makes when

445
00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:27.440
you think about it, Either you're
the victim and the effect of all of

446
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:30.760
that environment, or you look at
that and you say, I'm going to

447
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:35.559
change that, and I'm going to
make a difference in someone else's life,

448
00:39:35.719 --> 00:39:42.840
and you look at what you're doing
here, which is just amazing. Real

449
00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:46.920
quickly, any stories come into your
mind of someone that you've worked with that

450
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:52.800
have experienced just an amazing change in
their life based on the fact that they

451
00:39:52.840 --> 00:40:00.440
were willing to seek some help and
then accept that responsibility. I work recently

452
00:40:00.519 --> 00:40:07.079
with someone she's married to this guy
who is involved in martial arts. He's

453
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:13.039
a martial arts instructor, and she's
an executive working at a public service company

454
00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:19.360
right here in Trinidad. And she
came to me and she said, I

455
00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:23.679
have been working at this company for
twenty five years and I have not been

456
00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:30.920
fulfilled, not one day ever that
I enjoy going to work at my job.

457
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:37.280
And I was like wow, and
so the first thing I ask is

458
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:42.000
is this what you really wanted to
do or did you choose this job because

459
00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:45.400
of some level of pressure. And
she went back to the beginning and she

460
00:40:45.519 --> 00:40:50.400
realized, wait a minute, I
didn't even think about that. It was

461
00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:55.320
because she was influenced by people who
taught that if she took that job,

462
00:40:57.159 --> 00:41:00.679
she would stand out in the community. Even though it was not something that

463
00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:05.119
she wanted to do of herself.
It was not something that she would feel

464
00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:09.639
fulfillment about. But she did it
because they had invested in her. And

465
00:41:09.679 --> 00:41:15.519
it was appearance actually who told her
take this job. You need to stand

466
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.079
out, you need to represent the
family, you need to show people something

467
00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:22.559
different. And she went and she
did the job, but for twenty five

468
00:41:22.679 --> 00:41:28.239
years, going every day and not
being fulfilled. I don't know how she

469
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:31.199
did it, but what I showed
her is that I said to her,

470
00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:39.639
you need to extract yourself from the
job for a moment and search deep inside

471
00:41:39.679 --> 00:41:45.559
and think personally what it is that
fulfills me the most. I see.

472
00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:51.000
You need to find that discovery because
that part of you that is has been

473
00:41:51.280 --> 00:41:54.119
fulfilled for so long, you need
to revive it and bring it back and

474
00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:59.000
give it life, give it sustenance, give it substance, something that it

475
00:41:59.039 --> 00:42:04.119
can reson with innately, and hold
onto because what you have been doing is

476
00:42:04.920 --> 00:42:12.119
being someone else and not being yourself. And she recognized that. And after

477
00:42:12.199 --> 00:42:15.320
working with them for about a month, because the husband came in the picture.

478
00:42:15.400 --> 00:42:19.599
After I woke with her for two
weeks and then for the other two

479
00:42:19.639 --> 00:42:22.440
weeks, he came in. And
after working with them for about a month,

480
00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:27.440
she started implementing some of the things
that I told her she needed to

481
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:31.320
do, those mindset exercises, and
I created the opportunity for her to do

482
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:37.800
some actual exercises, creating a board
where she would write down five things that

483
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:42.039
she wanted to become and five things
that other people wanted her to become,

484
00:42:42.280 --> 00:42:45.880
and then weigh them in the balance
to see which one resonated with her,

485
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:50.679
which one sent a message of hope, which one sent a message of yes,

486
00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:53.519
I could connect with this, Yes
I could do this. And finally

487
00:42:53.639 --> 00:42:59.719
make a decision about how you intend
to go forward, because you know in

488
00:43:00.199 --> 00:43:04.960
and we don't tell people what to
do, but we give them the assurance

489
00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:08.039
that they have the answers somewhere on
the inside, and all we do is

490
00:43:08.119 --> 00:43:13.360
draw them to a place where they
eventually recognize, hey, this is what

491
00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:16.159
I need to do. If I
do this, I will have clarity.

492
00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:21.960
But they must be intentional about what
they're doing. And she became intentional.

493
00:43:22.639 --> 00:43:27.480
She got clarity, and she moved
on to a place where she got herself

494
00:43:27.559 --> 00:43:30.199
engaged in something else on the side
that brought forth. She didn't leave her

495
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:35.400
job, but now going to her
job is no longer a burden, a

496
00:43:35.480 --> 00:43:40.400
strain and a stress or that unfulfilled
feeling, because there is something now that

497
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:45.960
has taken care of that, and
she continues to grow and develop and become

498
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:50.840
a better person. And that is
one of the stories that comes to my

499
00:43:50.920 --> 00:43:54.360
mind. And I'm grateful for the
opportunity that i had to help her get

500
00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:59.880
that clarity, that intentionality, and
to make a decision that was in her

501
00:44:00.039 --> 00:44:06.360
best interests after she was making one
continually that was an other person's best interests

502
00:44:06.400 --> 00:44:09.239
for such a long time. Well, and I love what you said.

503
00:44:09.320 --> 00:44:12.599
And you know, one of the
things that I love to say is I've

504
00:44:12.599 --> 00:44:19.119
worked with people is it isn't either
or it's both, And you can do

505
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:23.519
this and this, and all of
a sudden it takes away that upsetness and

506
00:44:23.559 --> 00:44:30.280
frustration with work when they find that
they can do both that and what they

507
00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:32.119
love. So I appreciate that.
So as we're closing up today, Andy,

508
00:44:32.960 --> 00:44:37.760
what would be in a short brief
moment you know of a meditor,

509
00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:40.559
So what would be the message that
you want to share with the audience?

510
00:44:43.480 --> 00:44:51.599
Wow? I love that. My
most important message to the audience is be

511
00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:58.559
grateful for life. Be grateful for
the opportunity that you can live, move

512
00:44:59.239 --> 00:45:05.199
and have being. Please value on
that. Discover your purpose, embrace it

513
00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:09.159
and do not be ashamed to share
your story. Share yourself with the world.

514
00:45:09.199 --> 00:45:14.440
We are here as servants to each
other, will place to complement and

515
00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:19.039
support each other by the creator.
Find what your purpose is, find what

516
00:45:19.079 --> 00:45:22.280
your role is, embrace it and
share it, and do not be ashamed

517
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:27.320
of your story. It's yours and
it's the most valuable thing that you have

518
00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:34.000
got for yourself but also for others
as well. Love it, Andy,

519
00:45:34.039 --> 00:45:36.760
thanks so much for being on the
show. How do people find you?

520
00:45:37.679 --> 00:45:39.559
Okay? Great? Well, there
are number of places that they can go.

521
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:46.719
If you're on Facebook, It's www
dot Facebook, dot come forward,

522
00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:54.039
slash Andy dot, Chile's dot three
nine three. My YouTube handle is YouTube

523
00:45:54.079 --> 00:46:01.000
dot com at Andy Charles Dreamer.
LinkedIn is ww dot, LinkedIn dot com

524
00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:07.400
forward slash in forward slash Andy E. Childs. Twitter is much more easy

525
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:14.639
as Twitter, dot come forward slash
KEYMENA key e, y M E n

526
00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:21.360
E. And Instagram is ww dot
Instagram dot come forward slash Andy Childs eight

527
00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:25.639
four one seven. Yeah you go, Yeah, there you go. And

528
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:30.559
folks, thanks for listening today,
and I hope you got something really a

529
00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:34.000
value of this. And and if
you're in that situation where you're not happy

530
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:39.000
with what's going on, take take
that moment to really develop some clarity and

531
00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:45.880
some responsibility and seek someone who can
really help you and make sure and this

532
00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:49.559
is what I think, key Andy, is make sure that they really are

533
00:46:49.639 --> 00:46:53.559
experienced and they have accomplished things for
other people in a positive way, so

534
00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:58.199
that you get the right person to
help you. Thanks again for listening,

535
00:46:58.320 --> 00:47:01.599
and hopefully you will have a wonderful
rest of the week and look forward to

536
00:47:01.679 --> 00:47:04.000
having you join us again soon