Reach Higher

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0:44 Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Christian Welcome to the show. Thanks, Thanks doug Hey. I appreciate you on the show. You know, as I've looked at your biography, as I've gone to your website and kind of looked at what you've done kind of who you are, I find it fascinating and I'd love for you to share it with the audience, your journey because you've kind of gone in different directions and done a bunch of different things, and here you are now at a different level in your life. So share with the audience what brought you to this point and kind of what's your history.

1:29 So yeah, I think it's probably somewhere in the range in the spectrum between confused and hyperactive. You know. That's and I do a few things now, and I'll tell you what the backstory is. I do performance coaching for high achievers. That's sort of you know, my focus is purpose driven professionals that can help them really perform at the peak of their abilities and beyond actually what they believe they're capable of. The other business I run is a media company. It's basically brand strategy, development and execution right, It's called Third Drive Media. We do everything from sort of the positioning, the the heart the heavy lifting of brand strategy of okay, how are you, who are you serving?

2:18 How you can communicate effectively, all the way to creating all of the assets where websites, videos, logos, all those things. And we have enough to school academy in Africa. That's sort of my philanthropic arm and we just help kids in Mozambique and Maputu get sort of character building, mentorship, computer literacy, and English skills, which basically the idea is to get them out of poverty. So that's sort of the main focus focal points. I'm very involved in Christian ministry as well, but you know, but you know, I can just go down the list, but those are the main things. So the backstory that leads to that is that I just grew up all over the world, right.

3:03 I grew up on four different countries, three continents, and there was just a lot of turmoil in exposure to different cultures early on, and that sort of I think explains the weirdness the Yeah, I grew up in Chile. There was sort of this classic Latin American military coup in the seventies there, and my father ended up in a concentration camp. We ended up being refugees in this United Nations facility. It's just really dramatic early on. I mean I was five years old and I was a refugee, and that sort of sent us traveling. We ended up in Germany, Russia, Africa. My dad got a contract there and we were helping this country sort of get back on their feet. There's a whole bunch of expats working there because they just sort of got their independence from Portugal, and like a year in there was a civil war that started there, so we got that. And then eventually after divorce my parents who ended up in Russia and with my mother who's Russian, my dad's Chilean, so I don't look Slavic at all, but I'm half Russian, and like, sure enough, a few years and the Soviet Union fell apart, and we saw like tanks in the streets and all kinds of stuff going on there as well, and it all sort of so there's a lot of change, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of suffering, poverty, things like that, but also there was a lot of exposure to just what the world offers, bad and good, right, and that

4:33 sent me into sort of this path of professional development. I got a degree in economics, and I was very musical my whole life, so I was like, eh, I'm sort of bored doing this. Let me do some music. And by the end of maybe year two, I was already on national television and became one of the top pop stars in all of that space fifteen different countries. We ended up helping even a president get elected. They used my anthem my song as the anthem for their election campaign, Porisy Elson did when he was trying to defeat the Communists. And that was sort of the beginning of this entrepreneurial journey where I was able to do several things, had like five different careers, and when we moved to the States with we started three companies to nonprofits.

5:17 And it brings us to what I do now, which is sort of almost like a mosaic of the things that came from the origin story. If that makes sense, Well it doesn't. And how did you end up getting into pastoring because that's so totally outside of what you're Well, maybe not, but how did you get into that? Because that's something you haven't mentioned. But I know that that's what you do. Yeah, I you know, Actually that is both incredibly unlikely and it is actually the root why I do coaching now. Right. So, I was brought up atheist. Both my parents were Marxists, So it's zero exposure to the Bible to like that world of the moral code of the universe, right, that that Biblical wisdom brings. And I was extremely successful in my mid twenties as an artist, and because I lacked some of that character, some of that worldview. It really hurt me. And I was just I literally had a number one hit at the time, and I was clinically depressed.

6:24 I was hurting in relationships, very very confused about all kinds of things. And I met this guy who was a Canadian missionary and he was a pastor, and he became my pastor, but he also became my coach. You know, there's a difference between somebody who every once in a while speaks like you know, speaks wisdom into your life and gives you advice, etc. And someone who you cling to, like you know, mister Miyagi, right, right, And that's how I treated him, like my coach, right, he was mister Miyagi, and I was just sort of this apprentice and I'm like, look, my glass is empty, please fail it with it because I'm just desperate, and which was an unlikely thing to do for someone who is a major pop star at the time, right. So people were like, you're in a cult, for sure, You're in a cult. You're letting this guy control you, right, And in a way, I was, actually because I just felt that he could give me something.

7:21 I just couldn't get anywhere else, and I, you know, he introduced me to the Bible, and I had such disdain for the Bible and for Christians at the time. I was so arrogant. And I started reading it and he started telling me, this is how it looks in real life. You know, this is what it looks like, with marriage, with family, with friendships, with money, with power, with fame, and he just helped me reframe my whole worldview. And it was just so dramatically transformative for me that maybe two years in, I said, you know, I feel like I'm entertaining millions of people, but I'm not changing anybody's life. And Andy, my mentor, he's changed my life, and he's changing many lives as a matter of fact, and there's this domino effect of people influencing each other and becoming Christians who become who make other Christians disciples, who make disciples that kind of thing, right, and like this is to me, it just appealed at a deeper level.

8:23 So I, you know, I just felt a tug and I said, I want to do what you do, basically, and that's how it transitioned into pastoring. And I, you know, I've been doing it ever since, you know, never stopped. I've been by vocational most of that time, but have never stopped, and it probably won't will never stop. Actually, so well, and. You know, it's interesting you talk about I mean, you have achieved a lot. You've achieved a lot. I guarantee you more than most of us that are listening today or you know, talking to you and so forth. What would you say the motivation was for you to achieve what you've been able to achieve in your life.

9:05 You know, I thought I think about that a lot because obviously one of the things that I do now with performance coaching is helping people that are very gifted already to have a broader imagination of what can be and to see what is missing. Right, And you know where I land with it is almost like this combination of we don't allow ourselves to imagine, and the reason why we don't allow ourselves to imagine is because we are too busy distracted to being distracted by just the responsibilities of life. Right. You know, you go from your twenties to your thirties, there's a massive change. You know, most of the time, you acquire some skills, you become more successful. You have a family, you have kids, you have a mortgage, you have responsibilities, employees, whatever. Right this it becomes a big thing and you have very little bandwidth if you don't create and learn how to do that, to imagine what is possible. So you go from sort of accelerating in life to slowing down, to stopping altogether, to going in circles and perhaps hitting some walls, burnout, things like that. So that's one aspect I think, and I just have a lifestyle even now in my fifties where I'm actively imagining what is possible, and anyone can learn that basically, right. And the other piece I think

10:35 is fear and fear it's really not it's very irrational fear, and it's always there for everybody, right. But the more successful mature you become, the more the fear of failing becomes a reality because you have too much to lose in your mind, and it's all completely like tinety nine point nine percent of it is completely unwarranted. So people stop taking risks, people stop trying new things, and because they stop trying new things, they stop growing. And I think if you you can also learn how to diminish this resistance this imposter syndrome, this thing that blocks you from that little whisper in your head of what if I still pursue the thing that really makes me come fully alive. But it's risky, it's it's perhaps irresponsible, you know.

11:37 And I think those two things, between fear and the ability to imagine something bigger are major factors. Well, and I smile before we got on and I was listening to the song to Dream the Impossible Dream, and I kind of thought about that, and then you brought up those two words, the dreamed, the impossible, And you know, it's it's interesting. You know, you're working with very high level from what I can gather, you're working with very high level or you know, people who are very successful that you're helping them even be more. And yet that's what percentage would you say the population fits into that model versus the rest of us who are just really seeking to live a good life and to experience some peace and join our lives and some success.

12:27 How would you work with those people? And I guess number one, just help them to understand that there is that impossible dream that they can achieve if they're willing to take the steps. That's an excellent question. And by the way, I do work with people that are forward leaning, but they're not these sort of stratospheric, out of this world type people. So I mean, the range could be they're all basically people who really want something other than what they have. Oh, okay, that's much better explanation. Yeah. Yeah, So it could be a thirty year old, you know, guy or girl who is maybe five six seven years out of college, has some has a lot of expertise, now has some mastery. By age thirty you start knowing what you're doing right approximately, but then you're taught some things that block you from pursuing something higher, you know. And it sort of it seems to be the cycle that starts around thirty ish when you start seeing the first Oh you know, it's more life is more complicated than I thought it was it would be, and maybe forty actually it sort of repeats itself because the season shifts, your interests shift, your value shift, and what satisfied you, yes, that it doesn't satisfy you anymore, and that by probably by age forty, people start getting more mastery, more money, more status, et cetera, et cetera. Right, And but the range obviously can be from of an

14:00 executive or manager or maybe upper level manager or something like that, all the way to be obviously very very very influential people. But the anatomy of exponential growth is actually the same. The elements, the core elements right of it, are the same. And I want to tell you a quick story not to not to say this is everybody will fly in this particular direction or reach these heights, because it's really individual. The point is what do you perceive as the normal and what and what do you perceive as desirable? Right, because we settle for the status quo.

14:44 And you know even some of the people that you describe right now that you go, well that we're just trying to to lead normal lives. What is normal actually right, is normal actual true contentment, which is fantastic. It doesn't have to be a big thing. As a matter of fact, you know, one of the things that I did as a pastor is going from leading a church of three thousand members plus to planting a church that was by design maximum maybe one hundred and fifty. You know, I call the tribe and we still have it here in Austin. And the reason for that is because I really wanted something on a spiritual level that is small, high quality, true community rather than scale glory smoke machines and megachurch stuff, right for me personally, So I opted for the smaller because for me, that was better, that was more aspirational than the bigger. Does that make sense? It does? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And.

15:52 You know it takes me back to what you were saying. You know, as you were a pop star, and you know, you grew up with your your faults that were atheist, you were an atheist, and you felt like something was missing. And you know, I wonder how many of us, and I think we all go through this where there comes a point in time and who knows what age and maturity we're at when it's like who am I? And why am I really here? What's my purpose? Yeah? And what have you found? Are some of the elements to help someone to really discover what their purpose is in this life? Because I imagine without that understanding, they kind of are going all over the place.

16:36 Right, Yeah, that's exactly what you just said. That's exactly how it works, right A. But ninety plus percent of what we do is subconscious. I mean, we were created in the image of God, and in his wisdom he said, you know what the brain will it is not capable of, you know, of processing more than about ten percent. I will teach you and create habits and ways of thinking and acting and doing, and that will be all stored and they will be brought up when the situation is produt I'll give you an example. You know, when you pull out of your driveway in your car, you actually don't think about, you know, changing the shift from reverse to drive, turning on the blinker or even the road.

17:22 As a matter of fact, you're an autopilot, right, you don't think about it. Right, it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing like it does not it doesn't consume more image than it has to. Basically, it's all pre programmed software stuff, right. But it's the same thing in the good way, and it's the same thing in a bad way, right, so that it serves you and it makes you an incredibly efficient, incredibly skillful person. A neurosurgeon creating a performing a surgery is mostly still operating an autopilot because he's done so many surgeries in his life. Right, your life, So even very complex things can be done on autopilot. But the problem with that is what if the software is flawed. What if you have experiences, even generational ideas that were candied down to you, that are instilled software, and they're they're keeping you stagnant, unhappy, settling for the mediocre. And that is also true, right, all of us inherit all kinds of stuff, not only nurture nature, but also nurture. So if you don't question the status quo, if you don't go you know what, this autopilot has gotten me here, and actually I'm not satisfied where it's gotten me. You know. You imagine like if you get you get into a plane in New York and you're supposed to go to Japan, and then the autopilot take

18:54 you to North Korea? Right, Like, how long are you going to fly that airline? How long will the keep his job? Not very long? You know, you're not going to do it more than once. Right, you land in North Korea and you go, yeah, that's not cool, right, And but that happens to us all the time in life. Right. We keep making the same mistakes, repeating the same relational patterns, professional patterns, and we just it's just an autopilot. So the answer to your question is how do you develop a practice that is daily that allows you to question the status quo, question the autopilot and then reprogram it in a very specific way so that you start succeeding on autopilot in where you failed on autopilot before. Does that make sense?

19:44 Oh? Yeah, it does. And you know what's interesting is, I think so many of us don't realize, you know, we're experiencing life. And you know, obviously, even as you were that pop star, you finally realized that there was some in this un and so you went searching for it. And yet so many people continue to experience their life and hate it, don't like it, and yet they don't take the time to really look and analyze and go, Okay, what's going on? And how can I start to take personal responsibility from my experiences rather than blaming this person or that person or this situation or that situation.

20:28 Yeah, and you can. The thing is, you can be legitimately be a victim of generational dysfunction, of abuse, of bullying, all kinds of things, right, Yeah, I mean, and we all are at some point in our life all kinds of abuse, right, that's so the messy world will live in. But the question is will you remain a victim and will you will you turn your victimhood into rationalizing why you are you know, not questioning the status quo? And I think most people, most people don't question status quo enough. I would say, well, and it's kind of like, I love the comp I love the thought of impostor syndrome because you know, it's so true that if we had not really discovered who we are and what our purpose is, you know, long term, then we are really living as an impost in our life because we're not being true to ourselves and to those gifts and those you know, purposes that we were born to fulfill.

21:30 Yeah, And and the reason for that is fear, right, it's the reason for that is here. And fear is ninety nine percent completely irrational, like that has it literally has no no root in reality. I'll tell you a quick story that I sort of I use that to illustrate how do to break out of that status quo? Right the settling for the for the app for the mediocre. Growing up I was I traveled a lot. We grew up in Africa, and we flew to this island called Santa Carlina. My dad and I are. Thing we did together was spearfishing. And there was this guy there on this island who we literally spotted him on a plane going to the island like miles away from the coast with no boat, and we asked the pie. I was like, what is this and he goes, oh, that's Juan. Juan gets lobster for the hotel and like we're at the boat.

22:28 He's too poor to have a boat. He just swims out and there gets lobster, right, And it was crazy. So we met this Juau and he was this because we wanted him to show us the spots around the island. So we spent a day with him and he was I was in awe of this guy. I was probably twelve thirteen something like that, and he taught us this. We saw him in action and he was like, you know aquaman, you know it. And he told us this thing that stuck with me. He was telling me, so the lobster is always under the rocks. That's where you get it right. You have to go under the rocks, and you know, spearfishing and what else is under the rocks if you want to get to the lobster sometimes is sharks they sleep under the rocks because they that's where the current goes under and goes through their gills, and they can't really stop moving, you know, they or they die, so that's where they rest sometimes. And we go, oh, so what do you do when you see a shark under the rocks and you behind the shark or under the rocks is the is the lobster? And he goes, I just shake them, And we go what are you talking about? And he goes, yeah, I just grab by the fin I shake them. They swim away, and it just stuck with me as this incredible allegory of if you want, if you want to get to the lobster of life, you know the good stuff, you have to shake a shark or two, which is if you know that the shark is not a threat to you, you can shake the shark. But most people will spot the shark and immediately panic it starts swearing in the other direction.

23:57 But this guy show, he's like, no, I mean, sharks don't attack people. The chances of you being bitten by a shark that you shake is close to zero because you're scaring the shark, not the other way around. That's the reality of it, right, and most things in life are incredibly disproportionately high on our fear list, and we shouldn't fear those things. So there's a way to train yourself and through coaching, through community, through accountability, through sort of daily practices of really understanding what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and why you're not doing the things that you're supposed to do. That is essentially shaking the shark so you can get to the lobster.

24:37 Well, you know, and I saw on your website this quote from the New Testament, you know, Romans twelve two, and I read it and I thought, okay, I'm going to go and read it again just to see which, you know, which Bible you got it from, because there's so many out there, and see if there's a different interpretation. And there was not up that there was more to that particular verse than what was shown. And it fascinated me because I think that, you know, we don't understand this higher level of what was being said, and you know, I have it in front of me, and the way that I have at least is be not conformed of this world. In other words, don't just be worldly, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And I think that's kind of what we're talking about, is there's got to be an effort to literally renew our minds to go, as you say, from accepting all of these subconscious beliefs that may be fighting against what we're really trying to achieve. We need to renew that and develop a mindset that's going to allow us to achieve.

25:55 That's it. I love that, as you probably can see, right because I have it on my website. But you're right. And the thing is, if you think about it, sometimes as Christians, we can sort of create a very narrow narrative or even of that verse, right, So do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, and it could be interpreted and it's for sure including sort of the bad things that you know that we don't need to be doing. Right, So don't don't conform to that. But if you think about it, we are completely shaped by our environment all the time. And I think in a broader sense, we're all shaped by our environment, and we need to be able to discern which is the world.

26:37 It's nature, nurture, parents, friends, social circles or ensure choices. All of it together is that world shaping us into I would say, misshaping us from what we were intended to be. Right, So we're misshapen by the world. And basically it's a very rebellious verse because it says, do not come form in otherwise, don't conform to the status quo. Yeah. Yeah, And there's an if and then, and it says if you are if you don't conform, if you are allowed, if you allow yourself to be transformed by the renewing of your mind, changing the way you think, and you can go all kinds of depth into that, right, neural pathways, autopilot stuff, all of that training, skills, fears, all of that is is renewing your your mind. But then there's that then if you do the work, and that's where I think, you know, I just love teaching people how to do that work, how to acquire those skills. If you do the work of renewing your mind, being transformed with in really your mind, then you will see God's good and perfect plan.

27:51 Right, yes, and his will for you. Exactly specifically for you. And it says, and you said, a test, you test it a test it right, the word a test is there, which basically means you will experience, not just understand the goodness that's on the other side of that of not conforming. Yes, and all of a sudden there is going back to that original question that I made a while ago was how do we discover our purpose? And what is it that we're here to achieve? And so the question is how do you do that? And you know, I know that there's a lot of elements to this, but could you share with the audience those basic elements that you have found that you use as you teach and as you coach to help people to learn how to transform and renew their mind. Oh?

28:47 Absolutely, I can talk about this for hours. Okay, Well, the first thing is this get guidance. You know, we get so much guidance when we're children. That's why we grow so much. We have the we are learning and absorbing and growing machines when you're children. But think about it, it's not we go oh, this is the child's heart, this and this and this, it just goes away. No, no, no, there's so much, so many studies that show that neuroplasticity never stops. Right. But here's what happens you are in learning mode, that's one thing. But you have all this guidance around you when you're when you're a kid. When you grow up, that guidance goes away. You become the one who gives guidance. But don't you think you need guidance too well?

29:35 And I and I use the word curiosity. Curiosity is an element that we have to have in our lives, which then brings about. Guidance, yes and vice versa. Because curiosity goes away because of disappointments and because of busyness, and because of the status pose. Settling in the world shapes you. You conform to this world and you stop being curious because even sort of the presence of possibility goes away. And that's where guidance comes in. If you have accountability with people who basically get you up from where you are, so it's a safe place and a challenging place at the same time. That is a huge element. You ask me, how find you know? I call it a friend blend.

30:26 You know, a friend blend is sort of the app you become the average of the of the closest five people year around. That's that's just irrefutable yes, so what do we do in real life? So if we go real practical here we end up and there's nothing wrong with be friends with everybody, right with whoever you love and loves you, et cetera. But for the purposes of growth and direction in life, if you think about the five the average of the five people you're surrounded by. You know, I even do this exercise. There's like two levels of the exercise where you go, okay, write out the names of your inner circle. They have five to six people whatever, right, a dash if it's sort of a neutral relationship, an arrow down if it's a relationship that sucks the life out of you. And sometimes those are even you know, sometimes those things are unavoidable because you know, you have this crazy uncle and you're the crazy ancle. Maybe you know blood is blood. You have to figure those things out. But sometimes you stay in toxic relationships way too long, and then what are how many of those are arabs up where this person is making you better? Right?

31:35 Right? Most of the time, we see a lot of downs and neutrals, not a lot of apps most of the time. And then there's a lot of more sophisticated layer of sort of understanding and then starting to shape your your friend blend that I'm not going to go into because it's a little bit more. It takes more time, right, But the idea is that you have coaches, mentors, friends, et cetera. I have concentric circles of those in my life. I'm fifty five years old and I have extraordinary guidance, extraordinary and wisdom around me. And it takes a lot of time, a lot of intentionality to do that right. So that's one piece. And coaching is a good spark.

32:16 So when my first mentor, the Canadian missionary, the presence that the growth he provided was five x seven x, like what would have probably gotten me in normal a normal pace even as a Christian, to get to maybe five years. He got me there in a year. And the question is that's why it's worth investing in both coaching and mentoring. Whatever you can get right, it's worth fighting for and nurturing those relationships because they accelerate your life. It does make a difference if you want to get to a nice place like you know, Key West from Texas.

32:57 It does make a big difference if I walk or if I fly there, you know, and guidance will provide that for you. Right. So the other piece if you if we're talking about staying on the practical side of things, is this capacity for medical cognition. Medical cognition is essentially self awareness, right, It's it's sort of a fancy term for self awareness. And what does that look like on a practical level. Well, if you're an out pilot ninety percent of the time, you know, you get up in the morning and you follow a certain pattern of action, feeling, actually action and thought. Are you capable of creating a new future for yourself? The only way that usually not.

33:40 You're repeating, You're rinsing and repeating, right, So your actions today create your future. If the actions today are not different from the actions last month, last year, your future is not coming. You know. I hate to break it to you. So medicognition is a is a daily ritual. And that's why prayer is so important. That's why you draw it from that from the Bible. Prayer is a bridge to mediccognition. Why is that, Well, because if you are the center of the universe and you can, even as as a Christian sort of mechanically pray and sort of say the thing but not really expanding your view of yourself. But I think it's really meant prayer, Bible study, contemplation, meditation, journaling, and some other elements that I teach people how to do is teaching them how to become, how to be able stop the autopilot and analyze the software and go huh, this is off, and then start reprogramming it and then changing your patterns of thought, emotion, behavior every single day. Now, that might go, that might feel overwhelming and surmountable, but my point is it's all incremental.

34:50 Well it is. And you know you talk about a lot of things. You talk about meditation, you talk about prayer, you talk about coaching or finding someone to be that guide for you and so forth. One thing you haven't mentioned that I have found for me is an amazing is reading or in some cases I do audible because I love to listen rather than read. But what are your thoughts on that? Because I know a lot of people might say, you know what, right now, I can't afford to get a coach, I can't afford to do this and that, and yet they can easily afford to start getting into those higher level books of understanding of personal development. Of all those things that can then instill within them that desire to learn more. And I do not disagree with you. I think having a personal coach or mentor is essential, and sometimes you go from one to another to another depending on what you're doing. You know, when I started my meditation, I found a coach to follow and went to one of his seminars or you know, week long workshops, and it was great. And then all of a sudden, as I was doing that, I found, Okay, this isn't quite working for me the way I want.

36:04 So I started looking and reading and found higher level mentors that helped me in a different way. And so what are your thoughts about encouraging people to get that curiosity and read books and read those higher level type of books. So basically what you said is exactly true, and I call I mean, I teach that. But I can tell you that you can do this right now, quite literally. It doesn't cost you anything. Every morning set aside one hour every single but it has to be every morning and you do three things. You have a contemplative practice, prayer, journaling, reading, reading wisdom, right understanding yourself. The self awareness piece. Journaling is actually an important piece because what you feel, You think you know what you feel, but you don't know.

36:56 You actually don't know, because it's a different part of the brain that engages. When you start writing words, you start engaging your feelings from a different perspective. I'm not going to go into all the let's say, twenty minutes of contemplation, para meditation, journaling, you know that kind of thing. Twenty minutes of physical activity will wake you up. It will get you all kinds of internal pharmacy substances essentially that we're wired into us and to the pressence all the things that you go to Walgreens for. You don't need those things most of the time if you just exercise every day twenty minutes. The third piece of thirty minutes is learning. It's audiobooks, books, the stuff that is the most pain point surf centric, right, what is it that you need to learn about life that will take you to the next level? And it could be everything from relationships, romance, to marketing, social media, sales, whatever, right, philosophy, history, economics.

37:54 You know, it's individual to you. But learning every single day engages your mind and spark this curiosity and gives you the sense of Oh, I am not the status, the static blob that doesn't change. I can change. I can develop skills, abilities, character traits that will give me a different life, a different future. So if you basically do twenty twenty twenty one hour right, contemplation, physical activity, learning will and you do that every day. And it's hard in the beginning, and then after a while it becomes a habit. Right, It goes from a routine and routines so hard to maintain, it becomes a habit. Oh yeah, I'm more comfortable with it. But then it becomes a ritual.

38:41 It becomes a thing that just feeds your soul and starts your day and inserts that spark into your day that makes you do everything else and think and feel and do everything else differently during that one day. Well, I mean, you know, it's interesting, as you may or may not know. I'm in Thailand right now, and so I I find fascinating the Buddhism concepts and have studied them to some extent. And it amazes me that he talks about suffering and I look at that word and I think about stress and how you know, in Buddhism, the whole goal is to get to a point where you're not experiencing that suffering. And you know, when we get into Christianity where he says man is that he might have joy. And yet how many of us are experiencing stress in our daily lives every day? And how do we turn that into joy and creativity in our lives?

39:40 Is it the same thing you've been talking about or are there other elements that we haven't talked about yet? You know, it's it's of course metaphysically true that joy and suffering are two size of the same coin, you know, and so and you probably will see it in Boot as well. You know. Sidharthart Sidharth god Thomas at Hardock, he was a prince the Buddha, and he left a life of opulence. His parents shielded him, according to the stories of anything that has to do with suffering, right, even aging disease, and he was so empaty because of that that he actually did this radical thing and left everything behind and he embraced, you know, the life of an asthetic just extreme versions of that, and then he embraced the life of extreme pleasure. And then he found sort of the middle way, right, that's sort of the essence of Buddhism. And it's what's fascinating about about the insights that you can draw from that is that, in a way, it's very hard to find joy, true joy, right, not entertainment, not distraction, not something escape is behavior that

41:11 we practice quite a bit without learning how to suffer well, and I mean some and part of part of what I attribute my ability to do some of the things that I was able to do is because I suffered quite a bit as a kid, you know, and a lot of it was also self inflicted suffering as a grown up, where you just do things that are terrible. Your character needs change, and you need to you cause suffering to other people in yourself. But if you don't know how to suffer, and if you're afraid of suffering, you will never find joy and you will never be changed. So I mean, it's sort of a side of that shake the sharks thing, right, You don't we try to avoid suffering at all costs, but suffering shapes us, and the suffering that shapes us won't kill us most of the time. Right, So we don't try new things, we don't write the book, we don't start the company, we don't you know, ask the girl out. We don't pursue spiritual change and transformation and repentance because we think we're trying to avoid suffering by not doing that. But the suffering is the thing that forges us into a new person and joys on the other side.

42:20 You know, yes, amen to that and yeah again, time has just gone by. So as we cause a couple of questions. Number one, how do people find you? Well, if you want to just get access to a lot of the content that I do, the newsletter is the best one. Christian Rayflores dot com is the is the website. You can subscribe. All the new stuff is free. If you want access to the whole thing, you can just you know, pay like the equivalent to a latte a month, and there's a lot of good stuff there. And I drop an episode in or a newsletter every Sunday. So that's one way to do it. If you want to get a bit more serious and you feel like you need some more help, or you just want to be more self aware. Exponential that life without the E startups with an X. You know the cool way to spell exponential If you go to that website. It's my coaching website. On it, you will find a tool that we offer for free that we use all the time with our clients, and it's called the Exponential Scorecard. It asks you a bunch of questions like forty plus maybe seven to eight minutes to complete, but it gives you this incredible insight into the areas of your life that you need to pay attention to, and you get a very clear answer, Oh, this is my reality and now I need to know. Now I need to decide what to do with it. So go to Exponential that Life or Exponential Life slash Score. In either of those places you'll find the scorecard.

43:48 You know. For my coaching, I'm oversubscribed. I usually have a wait list and if somebody in the audience goes, I really need to talk to this guy, please reach out. That's fine. I won't be able to coach you right away, for sure, but you can join the wait list and down the road you'll probably get You know, you'll hear from us saying, hey, there's a spot opening and would you be interested? Okay, and what would be a final message to the audience that you'd like to share? You can do so much more than you think you can do, and you should never settle for the mediocre. Lovely and that was shortened right to the point, Christian, this has been a wonderful discussion. I've really appreciated your insights.

44:32 Thanks Doug, thank you, thanks for tuning in from Thailand all the way. I love Thailand. I've been It's it's great and I'm enjoying it. And I appreciate what you're doing. I mean, when when you look at what you're doing, you're you're not only coaching individuals, You've got the services, the service projects that you're doing over in Africa and in different places. To me, that becomes the whole point of making a difference in people's lives. And and I think that. As we look at that, and I want the audience to understand that the whole point of this podcast is to inspire each of us to make a difference in someone else's life. And in order to do that, we need to become someone who has the ability to do that by becoming our true selves. And when we do that, then we're going to be able to make a difference.

45:24 Beautiful words, Yes, that's what you're true. And thanks so much, and folks, thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed it, and we really look forward to having you join us again soon