No Matter How Dark The Stain

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At the end of the day,
it's not about what you have or even

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what you've accomplished. It's about what
you've done with those accomplishments. It's about

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who you've lifted at, who you've
made better. It's about what you've given

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back. Denzel Washington, Welcome to
Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to

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elevate the lives of others and to
inspire you to do the same. Andrea

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Whelan, how are you doing.
I'm doing good today, Doug. Thank

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you, and thank you for having
me back on your show for the second

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time. Oh, you know,
it's great. We had so much fun

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last time. And you know you've
written so many different books. In fact,

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it's really interesting. I started to
play golf a little bit again,

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and I am not a great golfer, right, And so I went to

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the driving range and I was,
you know, practicing, and every time

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I took my driver, which is
you know, the main one you use

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out the teeth, I couldn't even
get a biece and hit. And the

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fellow that was there, that's actually
a professional coach, I pulled them over

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and I said, look, can
you help me with this? And he

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looked at it and he looked at
it, and I kept slicing and doing

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everything else, and he finally took
my driver and kind of whiggled it back

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and forth, and he says,
let me find you a different driver.

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And so he went into his office
and came back with one and the ones

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that I was using as purchaser in
Thailand, so you know, they weren't

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necessarily great, but he brought me
a He brought me one that's made in

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the US that is a really high
end driver, and wow, I used

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that, and all of a sudden, boom, there it is. And

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you know what came to my mind
about that under it is that you know,

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you have written so many different books. You've got the poems, and

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I want you to talk about those
and different things. And I realized,

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you know, it's interesting. Everybody
is going to have a different situation and

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a different solution to help them with
that situation. And what you have done

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is you have done different solutions in
many respects to similar situations. So what

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I'm likely to do is just introduce
yourself again to the audience and talk about

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the books that you've written, and
then we'll go from there. I mean,

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I appreciate how you blended that together, and that you notice that those

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are things that I can't see by
myself. But I really appreciate hearing that

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from you, and that's your insights. That's wonderful. I have published three

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books in three years, and we
can talk about how they all tie together.

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Because when I first started the first
book, No Matter how Dark,

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Disdain poems and inspiration for the Woman
in Pain, I had no idea how

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that the next book would come and
that the next book would come. But

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now as I'm sitting I can see
how it was like a divine kind of

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plan, how they all meld together, and how they all can really help

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heal hearts and change the world for
the better within people. So the next

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the second book I wrote, is
the one we spoke about last time,

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Deeper Days. Deeper Days is three
hundred and sixty five Yoga'spirations for intercom amidst

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Chaos. So that one came out
in twenty twenty two, just after No

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Matter How Dark This Day came out
in twenty twenty one. Recently August thirty,

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first I published. In twenty twenty
three, I published Stillness in the

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Storm, a conscious daily journal of
yoga and spiritual Healing. This instantly became

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number one bestseller in the topic of
yoga, number two in mental health the

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day it came out. Wow.
Yeah, So it's very exciting for me.

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Well, and you know, again, because I'm sure there's going to

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be some people that didn't hear the
first interview, I'd love for you to

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share with the audience. What were
your experiences that brought you to this point

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where you've been writing these books.
And obviously your role is helped individuals who

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have really experienced trauma in their lives. MH. So, I'm really inspired

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by Joseph Campbell and The Hero's Journey, and I started to notice at a

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really young age that a lot of
extraordinary experiences were happening to me. And

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at the time I thought it,
I had resistance. I cried, I

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tried suicide, I tried to escape
it. Why me, I really?

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I think I cried every day through
high school, and during all of those

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times, I always had the gift
of writing. So from age seven,

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I was writing poetry through through all
of the experiences that I was having.

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So it's on one hand, I
had this what I felt was terrible,

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bad seed hell the way some people
would understand it, you know, self

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esteem. And on the other hand, I was able to through the pen

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on my paper that there was this
divine guidance because the words I was writing

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in the poetry were still beyond my
grade what was I at age seven?

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But in grade school? It was
still beyond my intellect. But I could

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see the vocabulary that I didn't hear
that at home, so I had,

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you know. So then take that
to now being nineteen twenty, and this

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is still happening. A little bit
of hell, a little bit of heaven,

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depending on how you see things.
And I just really started to put

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together that these experiences are happening for
a reason. They keep happening. They're

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a pattern here, and that's why
I really went into study. How can

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I break the pattern? Can I
How do I heal this so it doesn't

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keep continuing? Because I really felt
that I was going to die. But

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then on the one hand, I
had this poetry, this poetry that was

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coming from God or source or something
bigger than me. Well, and you

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know, and isn't it interesting that
you know through all that that you are

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going through, you finally had that
awareness that you know what, I've got

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to change something or life isn't going
to be what it's meant to be.

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And I think, yeah, I
think I think there's patterns that that keeps

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showing up. So I had some
sexual things happen to me from from men

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in grade school and it's like,
Okay, that's a weird, disturbing,

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traumatizing, Okay, it's just me. It's my fault, you know.

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And then take that to university.
Same thing. Somebody put the roe hypnol

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drug in my drink. A couple
of years later, I'm on a trip

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in Mexico, same thing. The
bartenders were in cahoots with the vocals that

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I had one sip and that roe
hypna was in there and I could have

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died then to take that again.
Then I have this high position job and

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I'm a woman there and I'm sexually
assaulted by one of the long term employees.

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I mean, at what point,
like I had to stop and realize

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I'm the bottom line and all of
that, there's a pattern happening here.

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Well, you know, I'm going
to interrupt you there so I don't forget

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what I wanted to ask. You
know. The thought that I had was

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how often And you made mention of
this that the pattern and everything that you

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were experiencing was a pattern that you
were taking some type of personal responsibility for.

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But that was only, you know, once you reached an age of

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awareness to the point where you were
able to look at that and think,

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wow, this is happening. And
I think there's so many individuals, both

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men and women, that regardless of
what's going on in their life, they're

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experiencing things that are not what they
want and they blame this person, they

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blame this situation, they do all
of those types of things. And yet

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what you said, and the thing
that I have just learned, you know,

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from different people as I've been doing
this podcast, is that we are

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responsible and literally we attract into our
lives those things that we have expected and

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that we've not eliminated from that subconscious
mind, and therefore we keep experiencing,

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and we keep experiencing, and we
never really take the opportunity to say,

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you know what, I'm going to
take responsibility for this. I've got to

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figure out what's going on in my
mind and my emotions that is attracting this

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type of activity. Would you mind
commenting on that? I agree, I

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mean, after it kept happening,
you know, because there's things associated with

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that. So once that kept happening, I was more angry, I was

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more bitter. I was blaming.
I think I tried drinking vodka for year,

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and then what I started to see. I believe that the person in

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front of you is a mirror,
a reflection of who you are. And

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what I started to see was people's
faces. They didn't want to see me.

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I was making people upset, they
were angry. And I started to

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see was if I let that continue, I am no different than the people

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who did stuff to me. My
future will be no different. It's all

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pre written that life path. And
I could see that clearly, and I

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made a conscious choice to switch things
around. I booked myself into anger management

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classes at my university. I would
write the local spiritual retreat centers and I

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wrote them letters and I said,
here's a list of seventeen horrible things that

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happened to me. So I know
I'm going to be damaged if I don't

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fix it. I don't have the
five hundred or however much to pay to

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come in, but I need help. Can you please let me in?

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And I would do silent retreats on
the weekend, and just those little glimpses

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started to open up a new life
for me. I started to realize that

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I could break the patterns of what
was happening. I realized I could control

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my anger. Yeah, and once
you broke the patterns, have you found

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that you're not attracting those experiences anymore
interesting? So there's one little glitch I

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found in that beautiful matrix. So
I really really transformed. So I heard

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once doctor Phil say that for every
I hate you, you need ten I

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love you to counter out that I
hate you. So I am a woman

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who because I was scared of men, I went to Brazil and learned the

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art of Brazil and jiu jitsu.
Just to really make sure that I would

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not be scared. Like I said, I checked myself into retreats. I

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went to New York. I did
everything that ever scared me, turned it

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around. And then I studied all
the ancient trainings that I could. I

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joined the Canadian Theosophical Society. I
studied feng shweet, tarot cards, reiki

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healing, I walked on hot coals, I did trainings with doctor Eric Purl

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reconnective healing, a fourth dimension,
fifth dimensional healings yoga by three different teachers,

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just because I really wanted to do
to counter acts and chase the patterns.

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And then so I really thought,
Okay, now I've got some love

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in myself. Now I've switched things
around. And what I didn't realize,

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sadly, is that there is one
personality that I wasn't taught about. And

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I wholeheartedly believe that because I had
kind of come from health, turned it

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around and found love, that that
was all I could receive. But I

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wasn't aware that there are predators that
look for people like that and they will

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kind of sneaky and and kind of
take you for all you have. And

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so I did have that experience afterwards. But I feel like I've got the

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lessons now well. And isn't it
interesting that we tend to put out that

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energy, as you said, you
know sometimes and this is so tough I

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can't even imagine, all right,
I've not experienced it, so again,

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it's really tough for me to totally
understand. But what fascinates me is that

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we tend to put that energy out, and you're right, the predators or

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even the experiences. I know one
individual who constantly puts out this energy constantly

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experiences all of these and I'm not
going to tell it's not sexual stuff,

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but it's just in general not having
success in their lives. And I watched

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them and observe that they keep experiencing
it because they're not willing to number one,

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even be aware that it's their responsibility. It's always somebody else, somebody

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else, somebody else. And it
fascinates me that we don't realize that we

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put out the energy and we create
the life. You know, doctor Joe

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Despenza, who you and I have
talked about before because he's so big on

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meditation, but he has literally done
this with some professors in Southern California,

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San Diego, where they are now
measuring brainways through measuring everything, and they

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have found that, in fact,
there is a physiological explanation and a scientific

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explanation to how people can literally change
their lives, change that movie that they're

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experiencing in their life because they're able
whatever process they use in order to do

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that. And I think it's important
for people to understand that, guess what,

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we are responsible from what we're experiencing, but if we're willing to have

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the courage like you obviously had,
and the willingness and the curiosity to explore

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and to seek and to try to
figure it out. Your energy changes and

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suddenly your life changes. Yeah.
Absolutely, Yeah, Well let's go ahead

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after you. Well, and let's
let's talk about your first book, where

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you're writing poems. It's interesting because
you know, there are books that say,

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all, right, step by step, this is how you need to

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do it. And I've interviewed some
authors that have written stories that are fixed

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and yet there's a purpose behind that, and all of a sudden it's totally

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affecting people. Now for you,
it's these poems and as you say,

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you know, no matter how dark
the stained, these are poems that you

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have written. And I'd love for
you to share, you know, because

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there's three different sections right in the
book. Yes, and I'd love for

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you to share what those are and
and what your experience has been with people

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if you've had some feedback, which
I'm sure you have as far as what

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does that do for people who are
experiencing those traumas in their lives as they

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read those poems, how does that
help them? Yeah, So let me

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tell you what I've had these poems
and I wrote through everything that I went

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through in my life. That was
my best friend with any pen and paper,

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toward the paper. When I was
a waitress, it was the waitress

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cards. They're still sitting beside me. They're full of words. There was

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always channeling, channeling, channeling now
when but like you said before, I

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always took it like blame myself kind
of and held it to myself. And

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here's what pushed this book out.
In twenty twenty one, when the pandemic

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happened, now everyone had to stay
home. And here's what I heard,

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domestic violence. Phone calls for the
police went up sixty percent, like six

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six zero. So here I am
sitting with poems. I wrote through all

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of that kind of like violence and
all the things that happened to women.

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I have the words. So there's
sixty percent of women who are calling police

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for help, who are stuck in
these situations, and I know how they

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felt. I'm sure they feel scared, ashamed, they don't know where to

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go, there's no help for them, and who, like, who am

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I not to put this book out? That's what made me put the book

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together, so that no matter how
dark, disdain, no matter how bad

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it is that happened. Those women
need to know that there's a light inside

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of them, that they are still
destiny despite what happened to them. Things

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happen, but it's not who they
are. And I imagine a world where

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all of those women are exactly their
full potential, and I'm reading the books

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that they want to write and the
songs that they want to sting. So

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the three sessions, and no matter
how dark disdain, I made very simple.

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One is that innocence and that's like
grade school or going to high school.

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It just innocence and you know,
having fun and just who you are.

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And the second chunk of poetry here
is called that's the thing about the

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heart it breaks, and that's the
stuff you run into. For me,

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it was rated sexual assaults. You
know, I douilt things with alcoholism,

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friendships, schooling, high school,
well, suicide, all of those kinds

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of things that you know, you
don't read about in the baron seeing Barns

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books when you're a kid. So
there's a section for that. The last

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section of the book is Rise Up
the Goddess. I've been in all three

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spots. But here's the beautiful thing
about poetry right in the beginning. There

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is a Greek word for imitation,
and it's called mimesis, and Plato's theory

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of memesis was that all forms of
art are imitation of life, of an

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idea of reality. Memesis allows us
to explore the relationship with our inner cults,

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our emotions beyond what's possible in the
real world. In poetry of Four

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of My Nieces, the words are
written at one point in time, read

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at another point in time, and
through this mind to mind, heart to

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heart experience, the reader finds that
he or she is transformed. So if

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there's a lady, say, you
know, who's lost a baby, which

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happens, but we don't talk about
it all the time. In the second

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part of the book, there's words
now for her to know that these are

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the words when that happens. Someone
else has felt this, not just you,

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and in her during that or having
words to her trauma that is transforming.

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That is turning light onto darkness.
And where there is light, there

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can be no darkness because the mind
cannot serve two masters. This is the

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start of healing. We can handle
hard things, but we need to put

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it in a place. And my
wish is that every woman who experienced any

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sexual assault, reproductive issues abuse will
have this book in their hands, or

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they if your daughter comes home and
you think something happened but she doesn't quite

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know what to say, that this
book is just first just shows up on

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the bedside table because you can just
open it and find where you are and

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read about it. But also you
can see where you came from in the

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Innocence, and you can see where
you're going in the Rise of the Goddess.

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Well, and you know, I
think that's so amazing that you've done

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it that way too, because I
think that for many people, you know,

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they may look back at the Innocence, they look back and you know,

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they may observe what's going on and
presently still what's going on, and

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they don't have hope. You know, hope is so important. And yes,

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they've lost hope because they don't know
that there's a solution. And then

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with your third section, where all
of a sudden, here's the hope,

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here's here, here's the ability to
come out of this situation, to move

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forward in our lives. And as
you say, it's fascinating that as they

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read that it's going to impinge in
their mind. It's going to impinge in

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their heart and give them hope,
and hopefully it gives them enough strength to

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say, Okay, I'm now aware
that there is hope, and I'm aware

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that you know I'm going through this, but I'm aware that I want to

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change, And at that point in
time, then they're able to seek out

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whatever professional help is going to work
for them. And as you say,

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which I find fascinating, I mean, you did everything to try to figure

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that out. What's there for you? And for you? And as I

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said, when we first started,
you know, everybody, you know,

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I needed to find the right driver
for golf in order to at least somewhat

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correct my swing. And what was
it for you? Was there one point

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or was it all of those things? Was there one thing that stood out

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to you that you found really was
the most effective in helping you work through

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that? Yeah? What was that? I was completely completely alone? And

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what what item? What? What
thing is? You went to all of

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these different things with riiky and Brasilian
jiu jitsu and you know, punk shue

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and meditation and yoga was for you? Was there one thing that has really

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been the main help or have you
found that you still need to incorporate men

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any of those things that have been
able to then help you. I feel

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like, at this moment in time, I am an amalgamation and I have

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embodied all of it perfectly, cultivated
a life of love, cultivated the cells

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of my body to vibrate love the
people around me, and the words that

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I write in my books now touched
that heart center. When people come to

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my yoga classes now they'll say,
I'm not quite sure what it is,

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but it sounds like like love,
Like it sounds like your heart. And

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I know that because I'm coming from
such an authentic place in my heart,

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that that's what they're hearing, that
that's what they're feeling. And I believe

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that that's how the world changes.
It is heart to heart in yoga.

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One breath at a time, one
poem a day, my Zen Buddhist teacher

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taught can soften your heart. He
always taught. He started with a poem,

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my Zen Buddhist teacher, and he
ended with a poem at the end

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of every class. And I believe
the same thing. I think one poem

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a day can soften your heart,
and just one breath a day, you

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have a little space to come from
a more creative place within yourself. And

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in that little space is where healing
happens, where the cells start to change

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patterns in the body, where you
can take that extra breath, where you

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realize you're not just who you've been, that you can become something else,

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will become who you'd like to be. Well. And you know, I

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kind of laugh because I've tried yoga. I cannot do it. I just

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don't have the ability to do all
those yoga I disagree with you. I

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disagree with you. I disagree with
you, and I'll tell you why,

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because I know that you have a
copy of the Forded right right? Do

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you have a copy of Deeper Dates? And this in yoga right here?

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Shake it up, set it free
and rise from the ashes. Shake it

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up, set it free and rise
from the ashes. That's yoga right there,

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in that moment where I connected my
head and my heart in that alignment,

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is yoga. That's to yoga to
unite. Okay, I'm glad you

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clarified that, because if I'm understanding
what you're saying, yoga is not necessarily

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all the physical activity, but rather
it's a mental, emotional, spiritual activity.

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And are you able to accomplish the
same thing that quote yoga is doing

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by doing either city meditation, walking
meditation, those type of things. Because

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what I did with your book is
you know, I had it and every

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day I was going to do some
walking meditation, I'd look at that.

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Yeah, that's what I thought about, is I was doing that. So

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do you find do you find that
people who quote like me say, well,

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you know, yoga, I can't
do all that physical stuff, but

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in fact they can do meditation,
which will accomplish similar things. Yeah.

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So my backstory is that when I
was looking for the dealing things, I

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opened up a newspaper after I think
people were trying to kill me at that

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point, and I packed my car
and drove like five cities away found a

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newspaper. I didn't want to be
messed up from that too, so I

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opened it up and in the back
section was NLP meditation person looking for students.

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So I went to his house for
five years. He ended up being

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famous, He's on some shows,
he made a beautiful course, and he

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worked with me for five years before
I even went into yoga. I had

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that meditation piece and I love it. It's yoga is a mind free of

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disturbances yoga is, but what we've
seen culturally is all of the ofteness,

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which is postures and poses. When
we look at yoga journal, we see

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the people holding their foot over their
heads. So yoga is. There's over

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two hundred and sixty sutras and sutra
think of stitches sutras or called and only

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three of them, only three out
of over two hundred and sixty from potentially

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are about the postures. There's eight
different components of yoga. There is the

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yamas, the ethics of yoga,
the self observances, how you see yourself

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react. Then there's the posture.
Then there is which one's next, prana

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yama, the breathing exercises. Then
you go to the concentration, which is

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like deeper days, where you can
hold your mind on one thought. Once

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you can hold your mind on one
thought, then you have a little campground

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where you can open to more holding
a meditation practice. Once you have that

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is pratyahara, where you kind of
go beyond the sensus. You probably notice

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this. You just you bliss out. It's not about what you're thinking feeling

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itchy. There's a state there.
It's called prachiahara and that's one of the

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limbs. After that is a body
of feeling of bliss. And it's not

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like they go on step, but
it goes around in circles. It's so

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fascinating it is, and I think
it's so important for people to understand that

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are experiencing these emotional traumas and physical
traumas that ultimately become major emotional trauma.

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Is that and you made the point
of the concentration. What came to my

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mind is, you know, here, here's the sense of meditation, yoga,

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concentration to the point where our mind
allows us just to focus on one

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thing and as we see those emotions
coming up. Now we're talking about mindset

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where you have developed a mindset that
as those emotions start to come up,

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you're able to recognize them and put
them to the side because you no longer

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buy into that. And I love
that concept. I love what you're saying.

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I love what you're saying. Here's
what I noticed. No matter how

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dark the stain, shines light on
all of those pebbles of the trauma that's

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within us. And once the light
is there, once they come up,

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there is no they just come up
and then deeper days then once those pebbles

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are settled and you have a spot
to hold all the things that have happened,

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then you have deeper days when you
can start to concentrate on something else.

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You can bring new vibes in.
You can feel a sense of peace

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and that you're more right. You
don't get you don't get these coming up

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so much right, they're not disturbing. And then you have stillness where you

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can be completely still with yourself and
no matter what's coming, something's always a

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rising, something's always passing. We
never quite get there. Something's always coming.

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And that's a beautiful dance in a
mind, a beautiful dance in the

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mind. But we need the words, we need the poems, we need

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to acknowledge. I see people here
come to yoga and they'll lay down in

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yoga and clows their eyes. But
if it's not dealt with, you know,

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if you were jerked to someone in
high school, say, or you

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kicked your mom when you were little, those things are going to come when

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you're still. You don't know what's
coming, and it might shock you or

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you might get scared to be surprised. And so some people they'll come back

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after five years to yoga and be
like, oh, I stopped coming because

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I you know, and I get
it, because things come up. It's

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important to shine a light and overturn
every stone. And I say it like

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it's easy, but it's taken me
years and stacks and stacks of self worth

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and self inquiry. But it can
be done. It can be done well.

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And aim in to that. And
you know what's interesting is again for

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those people that tend to look at
more scientific than they do you know other

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things, is that literally we are
changing the neural pathways in our brain,

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as you say, as those negative
things come up and we we mentally change

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the thought pattern on that. We
are literally changing the neural pathways to the

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point where more positive than negative.
And ultimately we can actually put that negative

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to the side and now we have
those more positive neural pathways and it changes

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our lives because we are now in
that direction. So, as we're getting

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to the close here, Heder,
what I'd like you to do is just

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for less than a minute, I'd
like you to share your thoughts with the

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audience. What would be the message
that you want to share with them.

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I want to share with you that
you don't need to travel to all the

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places that I've done to do the
hard work that I've done. The consciousness

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has risen and you can do this
yourself. You can use the books as

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tools, and you have all you
need to heal inside of you right now.

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The piece you find on the mountaintop
of Tibet is the piece that you

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bring there. It's within you.
The dark things of your life and the

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light ones are both love. You
are both. You are the darkness,

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you are the light. You are
absolute love. It's never too late to

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shine. The greatest illusion is separation. We're not separate. So me doing

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the work here is just for you
to do the work there. And we're

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all interconnected on this beautiful invisible web
of frequencies and vibrations. Well, and

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I love that. And you know, you bring up an interesting point that

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whether it's the negative or the positive, it is still love. And what's

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interesting is here you are. You've
gone through all this trauma, and yet

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you have turned that around to where
you are now affecting other people's lives in

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a positive way. And so as
you look back at that, you know,

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horrible stuff and you certainly didn't deserve
to go through that, Yet you

397
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have taken that and you've transformed that
into love to where you are now touching

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the lives of other people and making
a difference in their lives. And Andrea,

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I think that is amazing. I
think it's nature. It's nature.

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Yeah, I'm grateful for every moment. Had none of that happened, I

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would not be sitting here with you. I'm grateful for every hit, for

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every experience. Yeah. Well,
and again, thank you again for coming

403
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back on the show. And you
know we're going to do this again because

404
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we have some great conversations. I
really appreciate it. I'm so happy to

405
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hear that. Thank you so much. Well, and folks, thanks for

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00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:52.559
listening. And I hope that there's
been something that's been said here today that

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is going to motivate you. Go
get those books. They're all on Amazon,

408
00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:01.280
right, They're all on Amazon.
Yet, were your favorite bookstore chapters?

409
00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:05.840
Indigo? If you're in Canada,
Barnes and Noble has them online.

410
00:36:05.960 --> 00:36:10.159
Amazon is number one, for sure. Okay, go get some Go get

411
00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:17.079
those books and start reading because I
can guarantee you I have experienced that as

412
00:36:17.159 --> 00:36:22.920
I read these books, it just
makes a change in your heart and in

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00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:27.599
your life. So thanks for listening. Hope you'll join us again soon.

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00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:31.960
This is doctor Duck saying have a
wonderful week.