Mobilize Those Emotions to Spring Forward as a Hero in Your Own Life

0:00 This program is designed to provide general information with regards to the subject matters covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the host, guests, sponsors, or station are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. You know, mental health, suicide, These are issues that are hitting us all of the time. And I've been very fortunate to me a lady that is really taking this to heart. She's experienced it in her own family, and she's doing some amazing things. She's actually started a nonprofit called the Hope Hero Foundation.

0:50 She's developed workbooks for parents and for teachers to work with children. Just an amazing thing that she's doing, and she has tremendous insights into what's actually going on with our kids and how do we help them to have healthier lives and definitely how do we help prevent suicide. Please join us. I think you'll have a great time. At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished, It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better, It's about what you've given back. Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Alicia, how are you doing. I'm doing a great.

1:38 How are you doing, Doug Hey, I'm doing great. It's so great to have you on the show. There's so much stuff that we can talk about here today, which I think it's going to be fantastic. I'm excited to be here. Yeah. So tell the audience a little bit about the story. How did you become involved. Well, let's get your history first, because you have a unique history, and you can tie in how you got involved in the mental health issues. Yeah. So in two thousand and eight, I started teaching. I taught middle school, mainly seventh and ninth grade English, and I did that for fourteen years. So just this is my very first year not being in the classroom. I left the classroom last year at the end of last year. So tying into the mental health things, it goes back before I became a teacher, I was always curious with psychology. My degree is in psychology. I ended up teaching English.

2:40 But what I loved is that I was able to do Romeo and Juliet and where two teenagers take their lives. We brought in the mental health, communication and relationships as well as mythology with the heroes, journey of overcoming things, building resilience and strength with any trials that you have. And I loved those aspects of it. But really where I got involved with the mental health more and suicide prevention is when my seven year old son, and he may have been between seven and eight years old, that he wanted to take his life.

3:23 We knew he struggled, We knew he had some anger issues, he had some outbursts, would get very upset with things, would run away from home, tell us how much he hates us, holes in the walls, all of these things. And that wasn't how we raised him, right there was We loved on him. There were so many things that we did for our son, but it there came a point where one day I was sitting with him in the kitchen and he pulled out a knife and said he was going to kill himself. And I don't exactly remember what I did in those moments. Somehow I was able to handle it calmly, and I just sent him back up to his room, and then I called my mom, who is a counselor. She did a lot of crisis counseling. She did that in the schools and was on teams for suicide prevention with that. Now, that was my first kind of running experiencing things myself with my son. And that changes you and changes your perspective on parenting, on life, on what you're doing, and how you're going to move forward from that. Well, and you know what's interesting is I've been doing a little bit of research and you know, here you are, quote and I believe you are a normal family, okay, and all of a sudden you're experiencing this. And the

4:56 research that I did, I thought, you know what, I want to find out because we're having so many problems in suicide with what we would suggest are really normal families, their health and families, parents want to be good and so on and so forth. And the studies showed that the two major issues that they found, okay, because there are a lot of others, but the ones that they found had to do with communication and expectations. And when I read that, I approached my daughter, you know, and said, okay, sweet, did you get a lot of expectations? I mean, you know, I tried to be a good dad, But is that what happened? She says, well, yeah, yeah, we got we got some expectations. And what I realized was that each individual has their own perception. So when we say things, when we do things that we think are just really going to help that child to grow and be the best they can, oftentimes we don't realize that their perception is something entirely different. Yeah.

6:03 Yeah, well, and I love that that research actually backs up what we ended up doing moving forward was really building that communication and that connection with our son. And what I would tell any family, and I will recommend this work for from here on out, is the five love Languages of children, Because lots of times we're trying as parents to help our kids feel love, to feel seeing, to feel valued and understood. But if we're not speaking to them in a language, in words, in communication that they understand and they perceive what we're trying to do as love, then it's not we're missing the mark. And so really understanding how your child is loved and doing that talking to them about those expectations. Let me kind of go through a little bit about where that boy is now. Okay, yeah, yes, because this has a great story. So I ended up coming home from the classroom to to honestly save my son's life. So I came home. What we did is the Five Love Languages of Children. Gary Chapman's work incredible.

7:24 Both my husband and I were one on board with this, and his was physical touch. So we made sure that every single night that we tickled that boy's back. Now there was a lot of pushback with this, all right, that we tucked him in nature, he had hugs, made sure he you know, had the backscratches, the tickles with that. When I'm driving him to school, have my arm over on his you know, on his shoulder, rub his head, different things. It took I would say, almost two years honestly before I thought is this working? Is this even working?

8:05 And where we are now with it is that? Absolutely yes. I think so many Chinese parents want things to happen overnight. That's not the reality. If something happens overnight, it's the realistic thing is that it may disappear again overnight. So we work on building those relationships, those connections, that communication with it. This boy is now graduating from high school this week and he is going to be a football kicker out in California. He's moving out of state. So right, going from this boy who wanted to take his life to this boy who is now going to go live and pursue his dream because we believe in him. He knows he's loved, and he now believes in himself that he can overcome those challenges, those negative thoughts, those negative beliefs, And it came from us believing in him and him building what's called self efficacy, which is the belief in himself that he can achieve and that he can do what he puts his mind to, you know. And I think what's interesting is you talk about the fact that it really takes time.

9:28 It can't happen overnight. And I think that's so true because you know what you did, which to me is just fascinating, is you went in rather than saying, all right, we need to medicate the kid and so on and so forth, you went in to find the cause of what was going on. And the five love languages is you know, I've not really heard of the one for children, but I think that's great, and there are so many other tools out there to help us to really understand who our children are, what are they thinking, why are they thinking the way that they think, or why are they talking the way that they talk, And to be able to understand that and to be able to help them with that is just amazing. Well, thank you, and it's you know, I had the background in psychology. I was raised by parents who really communicated with us, who encouraged us to find the solutions to problems instead of covering up things.

10:26 We did need to get the medical help as well, so we did see a psychiatrist. He was on some medication with things. I don't believe that medication is the cure, all right. It may help to cover something or to give you that little bit of a bridge or a band aid with something until you figure out how to how to transform and help understanding that root cause. So yes, like there's a time and a need for everything, and with what you do with personality, that definitely plays into a lot of how you're able to work with kids in different situations. And I think I think that's important for the audience to understand right now that we're talking about a very not small, an important part of a pie. But it's just one slice of a pie, because there are so many other reasons why, in issues why that need to be addressed. For instance, I just discovered a while ago that concussions can literally change the brain chemistry and can lead to suicidal thoughts or to suicide. And now there are people out there that have the ability to work with that and to change back those brain situations after their concussion to where they get to be healthy again. From that perspective, yes, well, And the interesting thing is is this boy of ours who's going off

11:58 to play college. He played soccer and he wanted he convinced me to let him play football, all right, but and he wanted to be a linebacker. And I had said no, no, no, like you're going to get a concussion. And sure enough, that first season he got a severe concussion and he missed a month and a half of school. And then again about less than a year later, playing soccer, he received another severe concussion and missed another month of school. And so our compromise to him was, but you can be the kicker, and it's taken that time. But we've really seen the effects of concussions on the brain and the connection and really rebuilding that. And I myself, I was a college athlete playing soccer. I had a severe concussion in college, and then back in twenty sixteen, I had a severe one where I actually missed two and a half months of teaching to understand that, yes, the concussions thege challenge, and they they really impact your mental health and your ability to kind of figure things out. But it's I think that's one of those things that has helped me as well, to uncover some of this mental health work that we've been doing well. And I think, you know, we just don't realize. I mean, for me, I've had two nephews different different fathers, but two nephews that have

13:33 committed suicide in the past, and I think this touches so many lives that don't even expect it. Now, about you, you had some other family members that were struggling to didn't you, Yes, I did so. In twenty sixteen, my sister in law overdosed and she was she was a second mom to my kids. We joked that we had joint custody with our kids, going back and forth over the weekend. We knew she was struggling, we just didn't know how bad. We didn't see the signs of really how bad the struggle was until after. That was a huge, huge moment in my life. When you're shattered like that, you reanalyze, you rethink and figure out what is the meaning of life, what is my purpose here?

14:28 And how am I going to impact people from this point on? Because you will never be that person you were before that tragedy, before that trauma. A lot of people choose to let situations affect them two different ways. One is that they stay victim to that situation, to that circumstance, and they blame that situation on who they are now and who they get to be in the future. I didn't want that to define me in that way. I wanted my loss, my tragedy, to turn into a way that I could empower and help other kids and other families. And so after losing her, that's really when I shifted the strategies I used in the classroom that I made the mental health needs of those kids first above all academic needs. How did you do that? How did you do that? How did I do that?

15:31 I focused on the connection the very first thing. So every single day, every single kid, I gave them a high five as they entered the door, or fist bumps and whether some of the kids would like duck and try and get out of the way to avoid me. But do you know what, they looked me in the eye and they smiled because every time they came in, I knew that I made a positive impact on their life. Before I had to maybe correct them on their essay on whatever it is that we're working on. We built that relationship of trust that I loved them. I saw them because a high five and I think it is it might be mel Robbins who does like the high five effects, but a high five symbolizes that you're awesome. I see you, good job, right, So if they're getting a good job, I'm so proud that you're here. Before they even walk in the doors, I've shifted the entire frequency and the feeling in the classroom before we've even talked about curriculum. Wow, and did you find you you know, I mean, in today's politics and everything else, did you find you got a little bit of pushback from either parents or administrators on that? No? Other teachers, Yes, who weren't doing or who didn't feel that they could do it. And one of the things I would tell

17:03 to teachers now in the classroom, because so many teachers stand at the door with their arms crossed right. When you're crossed off, that body language means you're not welcome. Okay, I'm closed off. I'm not I'm not willing to build that relationship. But when you built that connection in that relationship, first, those kids are on your team and they know I'm on their team. And the administrators wanted other teachers to do what I was doing. Were there any specific results that really they could say that, wow, this is really working. Yes, So my last six years of teaching and five years we did testing because you know, we had the pandemic year where nobody did testing. Those last six years that we did testing, my students scored the highest in the dish strict on end of level tests at two different schools, two different schools. So what are the statistics here? Because you know what's interesting is you have found a solution, okay as a teacher to be able to help in that, and yet we're seeing still a lot of suicides and as you say, there's a lot of teachers that don't want to move into that direction. But we really have a crisis here in mental health here in Utah. Can you share some of the stats on that if you have them.

18:33 Yes, So, suicide is the number one cause of death for ages ten, aged ten to twenty four here in Utah. On average, there are eleven to thirteen deaths a day by suicide in Utah. We're this year, we're ranked fourteen, which a lot of people are celebrating, saying, do you know what, We're not in the top ten anymore, which I agree is great. But I actually dove into the numbers a little bit and really the shifts in how many died by suicide from last year. I believe it's like eight, so eight fewer deaths. Other states are struggling more than we are right now. We're still struggling at about the same rate. It's just others are struggling more than we are well with suicide. And yet one of the studies, and you probably have an updated study on this, but the last study that I looked at, Utah ranks number one in mental health issues in the US. Is that have you found the same thing? Yes, we are right up there at the top with mental health issues as well as with opioid usage and depression anxiety medications. So that right there, with those statistics tells us that we need to make a change. We cannot contin hinue to do what we've always been doing. The world changed. It opened

20:04 our eyes that hey, the band aids we've been putting on are not working. We're in crisis. And if we want to shift this, we've got to do something different. And so let's focus on Utah for a minute. But I want to make this more universal. And I think that as we talk and as the folks are listening and understanding that, you know, whatever we're talking about Utah and some of these issues, it's universal and there are universal issues that are going on with that. So here's my question for you, and you may or may not have an answer to this. Why why do we see such a high rate of mental health issues in Utah. There's a few different reasons, all right, and one of which is the altitude.

20:52 Okay, we see it across the Western board that the altitude does have something to do with the mental health. Okay, I don't know all of those things with it, but I do believe it goes back to the communication and the expectations that you talked about before. So if we can shift the way in which we communicate and understand the expectations of where we're really at, what we are wanting our kids to do and achieve, and loving no matter whether they hit those marks or not, we are going to change things.

21:33 A lot of kids, when they would talk to me and come up to me, they would say, I'm afraid to talk to my parents. They won't understand. They tell me to get over it. They get mad at me for saying I'm struggling. We are raising kids in a different generation, a different age than how we grew up. These kids are exposed to the cell phones. Okay, this is another thing that comes in. They're exposed to information that is coming in through their brains quicker than they have the cognitive ability to process it and what it means. They're not sure what's right, what's wrong, what's real, what to believe with any of it? And then not having the communication and safe crucial conversations is another book that I talk about quite a bit. But having that safety to communicate without judgment is a big thing too well, And you bring up you know, the fact that they're afraid to talk to their parents. Let's give parents kudos for doing the best that they can, but let's also understand, and I think this becomes a real issue. Most of us are not aware of what's really going on with their children. And as you say, the only way for that to happen is to become aware of what their values are. How do they want to be communicated with? You know, from what you're telling me, they're

23:07 feeling criticized from their parents. Therefore they don't want to go talk to them. How can we help parents to literally understand that, you know what, the way that you're communicating is not the way that your child wants to be communicated with. Well, and I will go back to the love languages. That is a great starting place. I do have my book Become the Hero of your Own Story. It gives positive, positive statements, quotes, and conversation starters that are not so direct. You know, if you know your child is struggling, you do need to be direct and asks that ask them have you thought about taking your life? You need to ask those questions that A lot of the myths are that if you ask it, that means that they're going to do it. Okay, if they've been thinking about doing it, it's already been on their mind anyway, you are not going to plant that seed in their head. And so really building that communication little by little.

24:11 One of the things that I talk to my clients, my group clients, my personal clients with is doing what I call a walk and talk. Okay, So this is so that when you're in conversation. Lots of times it's hard to just look at someone, especially when it's a difficult thing that you're going to talk about, or you have concerns or worries. So when you're walking by someone, you're out there, you're moving your body, you're resetting those neural pathways, and you have the ability to be breathing without it feeling so intense of a conversation, so you get that movement along with it.

24:52 That is where I would start with some of those things. I have tools. There are so many other tools to build the communication. Hey, and again, it's going to take time. It's not a one and done. Let's do this big thing for my kids so they know that they're loved and seen. It's got to be a day to day interaction. It might be sending a text message to your child, leaving a sticky note, making sure that you are letting them know that you love them every single day, not for doing X, Y and Z, but for being for existing, for just being part of your family. Because lots of times the kids are feeling that it's an expectation or they have to do something in order to receive love, a conditional love. And what we've got to shift it with our parenting is that it's unconditional. So how do you help the parents to do that? Because you know, I think, I mean, is it worth while for parents number one to become aware that you know what okay, you know whatever we think we're doing. And this is even for all of us, you know what we think we were doing? Is it necessarily the perception of what our children were experiencing? And how often are parents brave enough, particularly if they're really involved in a situation. So for how braver parents to

26:22 be able to go to their child and say, am I creating expectations for you that are really you're finding difficult? I think that's the big thing is we've got to be brave, to be vulnerable to let our kids know that we don't know it all. I haven't lived to day with you yet. I don't know what's coming up to date in your life and my life with things. I definitely think being open with your kids, Okay, it doesn't mean that you're going to tell all of everything. Being vulnerable. Vulnerability is letting them know that you've had things happened too. All Right. It may not be the same thing. We don't have those same situations happen, but we have all experienced some of those same emotions. And I think that when when our children they experience that vulnerability from us, doesn't that allow them ultimately to gain the confidence to be vulnerable with us. It does because it feels safe. You want it to be safe, instead of because a lot I see this with some parents, okay, where it's they want to let their kids think that they're perfect. They know how to do this parenting thing and they have it all figured out, so the kids come to them for all the answers and the solution. I want to shift that a little bit,

27:55 being on the team with your kid. If you mess up, you say something, Hey, I'm sorry for how that worked out, how I said this. Can you forgive me what I wish I would have done was this? Would that have worked better? Or how do you think it would have worked better if I handled this differently? How do you think I should have handled this? What would have helped? You? Feel supported? And I use the words supported quite a bit. Instead of help, how can I help you? I use how can I support you? Because at the end of the day, our kids need, we need to empower them that they're going to be able to work through some of these situations on their own, because as a parent, we're not always there with them. Most of the time, we're not there with them, like at school, when they're involved at sports, when they're out with their friends on the evenings and on the weekends, we're not there. So what we want to do is to be able to empower them to work through the conversations and communications, find some creativity in solving those problems, and then having the courage to ask for help when it's needed. A lot are not willing to do that, and the same goes for the parents having that courage to say, hey, I don't know exactly how to do this, and guess what, it's okay for the parents listening, it is okay not to know because We didn't prepare for all of

29:26 these things. You know, we didn't know all of this was going to happen or that our kids would be exposed to so much of this. But what we can do is just acknowledge and be aware of Kay, where am I at, where are my kids at? And what do I want to happen if we keep going down this direction? What is it going to look like? And is that what I want my relationship with my child to be like? Well, and you know, it's really interes One thing that you said that really struck me was, you know, we cannot live a day in their life, and that goes back to this concept of perception. What they're perceiving in their lives. We have no clue as parents unless we communicate with them. But one of the other things that you said that really hit me too is a lot of times, if our children are starting to share their thoughts and feelings with us, guess what, many times it goes against what we personally believe as our values and so forth, And all of a sudden, here's this judgment that they're going to immediately sense. How do we help parents to understand that? As you're talking to your child, don't judge.

30:48 I'm going to go back to Stephen Covey where he says, seek first to understand, then to be understood. So I'm going to say that again, seek first to understand, then to be understood. If we go in and we're looking at trying to tell our kids how to do X, Y and Z, that makes them shut down. And another thing that I wanted to bring into this, I can't remember who I was talking with who told me this, but they asked, maybe it was you, Doug, Maybe let's find out. But you said, are you wanting me to respond or are you wanting me to listen? Was that you? That was me?

31:36 And in fact, funny, I was talking to my daughter and all that we were texting. We were not talking, we were texting, and she I was saying something to her about something that I'm wanted to do in my personal life, and oh boy, I got a text back and I just text back said thanks for the judgment. Right. So we spoke last night and I said hey, and she said, you know what when you said that, that really offended me. And I'm going, well, bottom line is a text doesn't really share the emotions and the thought process that you really have. That's why we're talking, that's why we're communicating. But they learned a long time ago because my personality is such that I can be fairly willing to offer my opinion whenever anything happens. And I learned over a period of time, through some self introspection and some help from some coaches, that I had to get to that point where I'm going, Hey, do you want me to listen or do you want me to offer my opinion? And there have been times I was speaking to a friend just the other day and I said that I thought, you know, i'd better say this, and the response was, I just want you to listen. And I'm going, oh wow, because I was so ready to give my opinion. Yes. Well, and since we spoke, I mean, and we've only known each other, what less than a month, right, but we've had multiple conversations.

32:57 And that's one of the things that stuck out to me, and I think that is so important for parents and even in any relationship that you have, whether it's parenting, whether it's with your spouse, friends, any of those things, and even coworkers as well. Are you wanting me just to listen to listen and be here or are you wanting me to listen to respond? And those are going to be things that will shift the entire relationship. And if you practice that over time, that direction that you're wanting to go with that connection and communication is drastically going to improve. You know. And as interesting as you mentioned, I love personalities and I love the profile and behavioral analysis that I do. And one of the interesting things is that I fall in that category of my greatest fear is criticism. For others, the greatest fear is without family relationships. For others, it's not being successful, or for others, not having friends. So if we don't understand the personality of our children, we're never going to understand how we can communicate. The other thing that struck me as you were talking about how kids are on the phone and so on and so forth, I started listening to TikTok because I had some friends that were trying to build their business that way, and I thought, Okay, that'll be interesting. I want to see if that works.

34:28 I know everyone's going on to Instagram, but TikTok, Well, as I started watching it, it got to be amusing because as I listened to people talk and this is my personality is like, Okay, this is what you said, I'm going to go research it. I can't tell you how many falsehoods are being perpetrated in social media, whether it's TikTok, whether it happens to be Instagram or Facebook. These kids are getting information that they tend to believe when the reality is is that it's not true. Yeah. Yeah, well, and that's where that misinformation and then being funneled so much at I mean at a rapid rate that they can't process it and they're not going to do what you did and go research it to see if it actually is true or not. They're just going to say, I heard this, it must be true. Right. Well, yeah, yeah, it's amazing. I have another question for you, and this is something that you've just kind of mentioned in passing the gap and current mental health infrastructure. Can you share a little bit with what you mean by that. Yes, So some are going to agree with me, some will not, All right, but I've been doing I'm nationally certified in suicide prevention and I've been doing work in that for the last seven years. Okay, in schools outside of schools with different programs that I've been doing and coaching, and what I've realized when I go to

36:00 those events, you know the walks, the people who are there are those who have lost someone to suicide or mental health like I have. They're already in the club that I'm in. Hey, so those that are showing up have already been affected by it and they're not sure what to do. Now. Where the gap is is I really do not believe we have prevention. I believe we have crisis intervention, meaning that once the crisis, once the red flag, we've got this. Okay, well, now let's start to go to therapy. Let's get checked in here, let's take the medication.

36:43 We do not have proactive empowerment, and that is what I'm working on creating where we proactively help these kids and these families learn resilience tools, learn strategies for mindfulness, stand personalities, understand love languages, learn how to communicate, learn how to have creative solutions to problems and work through that. Being resilient. And this is this definition I just took from doctor Taryn Marie, who is known for all of her work in resiliency, but she says, being resilient is your ability to bounce forward, not backwards, Okay, not back.

37:30 A lot of people say resilience is your ability to bounce back, well, when you have been affected by a death, by a trauma, by a move, and a trauma could be micro or it could be macro. Right, these little or these big traumas, but when those happen, you're not ever going to be that same person that you were before this experience. Your paradigms, your perspectives have changed, and so too, as you're thinking. So it's your ability to bounce forward after experiencing an event that changes your life. And that's what we need to focus on, because we are never going to be able to erase challenges or race situations that are going to be happening. What we need to create is kids who are resilient, who understand that they are capable of working through these that they are capable of being their own hero, of becoming that hero who gets called on these adventures, as these trials thinks, oh my gosh, I don't think I can do this, But somehow they pull in on those mentorships, on those tools and say I've got this, I really can do this, and they rise above that challenge braver, stronger, and with more courage, knowing that the next time the obstacle comes their way or something similar, maybe it's something different, but

39:01 that they have the ability that self efficacy to believe in themselves, that they can do the hard things that it doesn't need to create them as a victim of their life. They get to be that hero. Well, and let's clarify something because I think this is really important for the people that are listening. Not everybody has children, Not everybody has children that are going to commit suicide, but I would dare say that in many respects, most of us have experienced emotional turmoil that our children have experienced. And as we talked about mental health, we're not just talking about prevention of suicide. We're talking about prevention of mental poor mental health. And you know, I have two stories what you're interesting and I think I shared one of them with you already.

39:47 You know, when I had my dental practice, people I had a very subspecialty that I enjoyed. People would come in and say, oh, doctor, I have TMJ and I'm going, well, let me clarify this. You actually have two You went on the right side and went on the left side. It's your jaw right, and I said, so tell me what your symptoms are. Now. The other thing is that as I've gone through life, there's issues, so I'm taking different medications for this and then and so forth. I found a doctor who is totally outside the medical community. I'm sure he's not really accepted because usually what doctors do, which they did for me, is give me meds. He is a nutritional physician and he is an MD, and all of a sudden, he's saying, Doug, he says, let's look at your blood tests. Okay, you know what, Let's try this, Let's try that, Let's try this. And he's just giving me all of these different supplements and guess what, miracles happen.

40:45 So I think that I think that one of the challenges that we face is realizing that, you know, what we need, As you have said, we need to get to the very essence and the causation of what's going on here, and I think everything that you're talking about is doing exactly that. Now. I want you to just share some information on your Hohope Hero Foundation because I think that's really important. How are you going to proactively change the education system to bring the families and schools together. And what are some of the other things that the Hope Hero Foundations. What is your mission? Yeah, thank you for that. So our mission is to catch kids before they fall. We want to prepare them, proactively, prepare them to become heroes of their own stories. And I love that you said. You know, not all kids are going to think about suicide, all right, not all of them will. But right now, what is being out there is anxiety, depression, mental health, mental health, mental health. Right they're hearing these, they're not understanding how to build strong and healthy mindsets for growth and overcoming these. And so what we're doing is preventing them from ever getting to those thoughts of suicide, or if they do have those thoughts, how do I work around those things? And so with the foundation, so this just started this year, all right. So we've got the Hope Hero Foundation and

42:19 then I also and that's our nonprofit. And what we are doing with that is we have so with my book. I got my book right here, So it has some red converse on it, all right, And so what we are doing with this is these converse are a symbol of hope, of courage, of perseverance, that with every step these kids take, they can be brave. Right. Red symbolizes power, bravery, love, So with every step, every direction, they are walking with their head up a little higher, knowing that someone else el believes in them as well as finding that belief in themselves. So we donate a pair of high top red commerce to a deserving team or tween throughout the country. So every month we are doing that. We also have Heroeship scholarships for my programs as well as helping those when we get into the schools for the programs that we're going to be doing.

43:27 And do you want me to talk about kind of my ideas and what I'm working out? Absolutely? Absolutely. We got about five minutes left, so take your time, Okay, Well, don't take your time, take five minutes. Take five minutes, right, I will do that. So here's the gap that I've seen as an educator as a parent with the school systems and and things. Sometimes it's very divisive, all right, And especially in the last couple of years. You've got the teachers and you've got parents, and the kids are in the middle of this, okay, And so sometimes you have the parents truly supporting the teachers, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you have the parents blaming the teachers. Sometimes you have the teachers blaming the parents. I want to get rid of this, okay, so that we are a trifecta working together where we are on the team of our kids, because at the end of the day, they are who is important. They are what we are building on for the future. So what I've done is I've broken down my book and I've created some workbooks for it. For the Hero's journey, all right, so calls to adventure, challenges, trials, overcoming those things, finding the internal guidance to rise above situation. What we are doing is we are breaking that down and we are doing custom curriculum grade

45:00 level her school, her district based off of the surveys done by parents, teachers, and the students of those grades. So we'll have Hero's Journey material in it. And then if parents say, do you know what I need a little bit more on? Maybe it is personality, maybe it is breathwork, maybe it's setting goals some of those things. A lot that's been coming up is finding friendships, Okay, how to build those friendships, how to have trust with my friends with parents, and so what this will do is we will work together with the schools and the parents. There will be a committee where they will go through and say, yes, this is what my sixth graders need, or this is what my ninth graders need right now, or this is what the tenth graders need. And so we are building a a curriculum that is specifically for those kids that year to empower them to work through the challenges that are right now. Okay, and that is a separate curriculum from math and English and all of those different types of things. But this is an additional curriculum that you would add correct. Yes, So some of the schools that we're working with, they have advisory classes, okay, so where they specifically already have a homeroom teacher where they would take maybe ten

46:36 fifteen minutes a couple times a week to do that. And the cool thing with teachers doing it that way, there's been studies saying that in microdoses of things, you actually internalize those you can process it and be able to integrate it into your life. So it's taking these things processing it so being aware, right, so we will have a quote so self awareness of how this is impacting your life, then it brings in the empathy of how do you see this showing up for your friends or your peers. Now, the cool thing is is that there will be a teacher workbook where I've had experience creating teacher curriculum how to do these lesson plants. There will be supplemental materials.

47:27 O, hey, this should be ten minutes. Here's some other ideas on how to have some conversations with this then, so the kids will have their own The teachers and the parents are going to have their own workbook that goes directly with this of how to support the kids at home. There will be conversation starters of hey, let's have a conversation about this this week, let's do this adventure challenge is what I call them. You know, all of Hero's journey type language with it and becoming your own row. And it will allow those parents to have the built in conversations and know that at school it is being supported. So you have the trifecta at schools and at homes where we are working together to be on the team for our kids who are a future. Oh and I really love that, you know. And the thing that comes to my mind is you were talking about all of that is the word courage you know, for people to actually number one awareness, but then secondarily are they courageous enough to move forward and do the things that you're talking about. So as we as we're finishing up, what I would love for you to do is take the next sixty seconds. Okay, I'm going to give you a minute, think about this. The next sixty seconds, I want you to share what is the message that you want the audience to understand

48:57 that you want parents to understand, because that sixty seconds will be just a short reel that we put somewhere. Oh. I think my biggest thing is I want parents to know that they are doing amazing. That we live in a time that is a challenge. I want these kids to know that you are so capable. You are so capable, and if you just had that belief in yourself to know that you can rise above these challenges, you will rise above those. It's that little bit of belief, that little bit of hope that helps you get to that next step. Take one step today, take one brave, courageous step, and who you want to be, ask for the help that you need. Learn discover who you want to be, who you want to become and trust that you truly are capable of being the hero of your own story. And I truly believe that when we come together as a community, we will empower our kids with resilience and bravery that no matter what comes into their lives, they will be able to overcome those challenges with grace, with determination, and belief in themselves that they can do hard things. Wonderful, wonderful. Well, Alicia, thank you so much.

50:30 This has just been an amazing, amazing discussion and interview. I really appreciate it, and more importantly, and you know this, I appreciate what you're doing. You know, it's one thing to have a little bit of concern and sit back and say, oh, I'm concerned about this. It's another thing to say that concern is going to move me to action and I'm going to do, based on my talents and my abilities, the best I can do to help people. And obviously you have those talents and abilities. So thank you so much for being on the show. Well, thank you, Doug. I appreciate being here and I love all that you're doing. And it really it does take that bravery and that courage to step out and to take the action. Being aware is one thing, but you have to act.

51:17 And I think it's Leonardo da Vinci who says, like knowing is not enough, we must do exactly. And folks, thanks for listening today. I hope this has made a difference for you. And if you have any questions or actually would like to get ahold of Alicia, Alicia, how do they reach you? So? You can find me on Instagram at the Hope Hero or at Rise with Elicia. The Hope hero dot com is our website, so you can check that out and really just find me on social or on the website and I would love to connect and chat with you support you in any way that I can perfect. Thanks so much, and folks, thanks for listening. I hope you'll join us again soon. Take care all right, bye Doug bye now.