Hold Onto Your Dreams

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This program is designed to provide general
information with regards to the subject matters covered.

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This information is given with the understanding
that neither the hosts, guests,

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sponsors, or station are engaged in
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legal counseling, professional service, or
any advice. You should seek the

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services of competent professionals before applying or
trying any suggested ideas. At the end

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of the day, it's not about
what you have or even what you've accomplished.

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It's about what you've done with those
accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted

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up, who you've made better.
It's about what you've given back. Denzel

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Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

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of others and to inspire you to
do the same. Matthew, welcome to

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the show. How are you,
doctor Doug co I screwed up my own

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doctor Doug had the hell? Are
you good? Good? Good? Hey?

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It's great to have you on this
show. It is great to have

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a fellow podcaster on the show.
That's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. I

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want to interest myself to you first
and foremost. My name is Matthew j.

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Canellis. I'm a high school English
teacher out of Staten Island, New

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York by way of East Brunswick,
New Jersey's been doing it for about ten

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years now. I'm co host of
my own podcast called The Classroads Podcast with

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one of my former students and current
friends. Eighteen and four amateur boxer,

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but his name is Anthony Letta.
Hopefully by the time this comes out,

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he'll be in nineteen four, twenty
and four amateur boxer. So yeah,

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very very happy to be here,
doctor Doug, very very happy. Well,

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and I appreciate that. And you
know what I find interesting is the

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story behind what brought you to this
point. Now, obviously you've become a

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teacher. I'd love to know why
you became a teacher number one, But

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number two, what motivated you to
start your podcast? What was the what

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were the things that said to you, Okay, it's time to start a

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podcast and then talk about the things
you're going to talk about. Yeah,

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So becoming a teacher was not an
easy choice, but was a simple choice.

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I always wanted to help people,
that's my moo just in life in

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general. My mother was an English
teacher as well. She was more with

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the elementary school kids, but my
forte is obviously the older grades, high

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school kind of nine to twelfth grade, from about fourteen to eighteen. But

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I wanted to help people, and
English was my best subject. I'll just

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be honest, That's why I wanted
to do it. It was almost where

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I saw myself fit in and ever
since then, I consider myself a mentor

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to a bunch of my current and
former students that have stuck with me throughout

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the ten years that I've been doing
this, and I'm very, very grateful

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for all of them. And that
brings me to the podcast. I actually,

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as I did my intro, I
do a podcast with a former student

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who is one of, if not
one of my best friends, Anthony Letta,

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and we formed this podcast because when
I was his teacher many moons ago.

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He goes, you should start a
podcast, And I had a podcast

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back in twenty fourteen. That show
will remain nameless because I don't know how

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to log in. I don't know
how to log into the old YouTube account,

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and those episodes are still up there. Maybe on my podcast we'll get

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it to those, but at a
later date. But he goes, why

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don't you why don't you do the
podcast? And as a joke, I

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kind of said, yeah, okay, yeah, if you do it with

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me, and he said, okay, I'm in, and I go,

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really, you're in, And he
goes, yeah, why not, It'll

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be fun, And I go,
you know what, if you're in,

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I'll buy all the equipment, all
the updated equipment, all the updated software.

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I'll put in the legwork and we'll
do it together. Because the reason

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why I never did a podcast,
and I always talk about it, I

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couldn't really find the niche for it. I couldn't find where I would go

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into this ever growing podcast a market, because let's face it, everybody has

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a podcast, and you don't want
to have a podcast that talks about the

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same thing over and over again.
You want to have a podcast that could

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maybe appeal to different walks of life. And we are, and I credit

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us as being the number one live
teacher student podcast in the world as far

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as I know. We're the only
one of its kind where we're live tape

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and we talk about our generationalities,
our commonalities, things that make our lives

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so parallel. I'm a thirty I'll
be thirty two in June. He's gonna

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be twenty in July, and it's
the concept of it is to show how

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similar our lives and our upbringings are
and to show where we do contrast in

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different elements. And I'm sure by
the time this comes out, we're going

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to have episodes that come out where
we do argue about different things. And

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he sometimes doesn't get my references because
about twelve years older than him eleven years

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old in him. So, in
a nutshell, that's kind of why we

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started the podcast, because I feel
like we do have this this area that

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we can foster, facilitate and hopefully
grow. That's great. And so as

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a high school teacher, Yeah,
how did that affect How has that affected

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you? I mean, you know, it's interesting how teachers have different personalities

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and so forth. But for your
ten years, how has that affected you

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as a person? How has it
changed you? If it has, oh

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it one trillion percent? Has I
am not the same person that I was

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when I set into a classroom for
the first time in twenty fourteen. I

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have grown immensely in terms of mostly
patients. I never thought I would develop

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the patients that I have would and
I don't think I would have had I

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not become a teacher because not saying
that I was a hot head. But

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I'm from New York. Let's face
it, New Yorkers. Do we have

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patients. I don't know. I'm
not sure if we're exactly known for our

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patients. So in that way,
but also to not be as judgmental and

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be a lot more understanding, because
I teach all walks of life. If

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you can name it, I've taught
it. People who come from different background

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socioeconomically, different religions, different races. People have taught me or tried to

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teach me different languages, and I
don't have a knack for different languages,

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but it's nice that they try.
But definitely not being as narrow minded.

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I can give you an example of
that. I remember years ago, when

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I first started, I was the
teacher that I thought I had to go

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into the classroom and be the guy
that didn't smile. And I don't think

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I've stopped smiling since I've been on
this call with you. That's not my

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personality to be like, hmm,
no, do your work, do your

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work? Come on, come on, everybody, This is not me.

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But they teach you in college that's
how you have to be. And I

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never I subscribed to that school of
thought when I first went into the classroom,

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because I thought that's what I didn't
do, but sinstead, I haven't

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subscribed to that thought because I remember
an instance where the class completely turned on

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me and was like, why would
we listen to you right now? What?

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Just because you're this mean guy?
You're trying to teach us about Shakespeare?

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And I remember giving too much away
of anybody's personal stories. I remember

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a couple of the students pulling me
aside and like talking to me on a

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personal level and almost being like,
you know, you don't have to you

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don't have to put on this act
anymore. You don't have to be like

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this mean guy, because we're talking
to you now like it's normal, and

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like you and I are talking at
this very, very moment. And that

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helped shed that hard exterior that colleges
do put on you. And I was

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trained great doctor Libman from Saint Francis
College is and still is a mentor of

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mine, and he was the only
one that kind of steered me in the

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direction where we have to care about
our kids. And as I've grown as

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a teacher ten years in I feel
like I care almost too much about my

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students now. It's almost a blessing
and a curse. Well, and it

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isn't it interesting how we experienced this
whole concept of this is you need to

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do, this is how you need
to be, and we buy into that.

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And you're right. It happens in
college, it happens. It happens

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in every environment we think of,
whether it's just the family, or whether

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it's our friends, or whether it's
religion, or whether it's college or school

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or whatever, and what have you? As you observed that in your students,

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here's the question. I mean,
for you, you came out of

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that with some experiences that caused you
to make that change, which which I

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find really comes down to the fact
that you have become who you really are.

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So when you're working with your students, how many of your students do

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you observe doing and being who they
quote need to be or who they should

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be, or how they should act. And if you're observing that, how

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do you help them to make that
change? To understand that you know what

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you need to become who you really
are and honor that and appreciate that and

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love that. That's a that's a
definitely great question, great question, and

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it's a loaded one too. As
best I can, I have the luxury

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of being an English teacher. That's
what I'll start off by saying. I

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can have kids write about anything,
really, as long as it somewhat confines

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to the curriculum that I'm teaching.
But we have a lot of free reign

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to have different writing assignments, and
that's usually in September, where I give

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a lot of personal and reflective essays
or just like writing prompts to give,

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and a lot of the times they
will open up in those initial writing prompts.

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Sometimes they don't, but that just
comes with their personality and how do

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I get them to open up and
be who they really are? Usually,

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and I'm about building connections. I
try and build a connection with everybody who

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walks into my door. And without
those connections, I don't think that they

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can even learn what you're trying to
teach him content wise. So I read

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all of the essays that anybody writes, all those reflective essays that I give

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in the very beginning of the year, and I'll try and take a piece

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of that essay and connect on a
very very at first very superficial level,

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and then use that as kind of
a groundbreaking area in order to get below

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the surface. For instance, I
had this kid a couple of years ago.

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I'm a used per wrestling fan,
and he was wearing a stone Cold

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Steve Austin shirt and I was like, Oh, I love Stonecold Steve Austin

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the minute that he walked into the
room. That's not part of the reflective

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essay, but I remember building that
connection with him over the of just him

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wearing wrestling shirts, glass and talking
about wrestling. And then I became sort

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of a mentor to him after he
was like opening up about something and I'm

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like, yeah, we're talking about
wrestling today, but something's going on with

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you. I don't understand what's going
on. Now you want to talk about

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it, And then they want to
talk about it a little bit more because

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they've already gotten that relationship developed with
you through whatever your mutual interests might have

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been. For me and this kid, it was pro wrestling at the time,

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and that helped us form a deeper
bond. So with the reflective essays

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that I give, sometimes I'll see
that maybe we have a similar movie in

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common. I remember a time,
somebody wrote down that they were a big

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fan of Space Jam with Michael Jordan
and Bugs Bunny, and I went over

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to him and I at the time, I had a Bill Murray Space Jam

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Jersey from the actual movie, and
I brought it in. I was like,

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isn't this cool? So it was
a really shy kid and we were

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able to open up and actually talk
about the movies. And you know,

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from there, and I know you
asked how you get these people to be

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who they really are? I feel
like in general, I've gotten a lot

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of kids that wouldn't normally open up
and haven't opened up maybe in the four

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years that they've been in their high
school, to open up to me for

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whatever reason. And I think it
does start with building initial connections. Well,

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and you know, it's interesting.
I hope I answered your question.

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You did. And the thing that
I am thinking about is, you know

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that there's so many educators out there. There's so many teachers, and there

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are some really fantastic ones. I
have had some wonderful I had some wonderful

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teachers in elementary school, in grade
school, middle school, high school not

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so much because I went to a
large high school and I actually went to

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very different high schools, so it
half of high school teach on behalf of

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high school teachers everywhere. I apologize, yes, anyway, it was really

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fascinating. And as I think about
it, then I think about my dad,

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who when he passed away, they
did an honorary thing for him at

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Northwestern University. He was a voice
teacher and they had a memorial service for

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him, and it was fascinating to
me as I came out of that service,

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and because they brought all these incredible
singers into singing and to talk and

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so forth, and I recognized that
he had done the same thing that you

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had done. You know, here
he was a really great voice teacher.

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But the message that I was getting
was how he had literally affected their lives

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to help them to become more successful, to learn to enjoy life, to

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love all those types of things.
And I recognize that there are teachers out

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there that do that consciously or even
subconsciously. And then there are many teachers

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that kind of still get into that
role that you initially were in, where

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this is how I have to be
and this is what I should do,

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and so on and so forth.
What would your message to your fellow teachers

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be based on your experience of how
they can really focus on helping the children

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and you know, developing that relationship
with the children in an appropriate way rather

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than just being that teacher. I
have a quick one line sentence for that

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or two lines centers for that.
I always say, be who you want

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to be, don't be who they
want you to be. And by that

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I mean you have to develop a
style that is right for you. And

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listen, some teachers may not be
able to build the connections that I'm able

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to build, and that's okay too. Maybe they're is in content and that's

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okay. But at the same time, don't be that drill sergeant if you're

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not that drill sergeant and that's not
your personality, because kids see right through

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it. It's so easy to see
a transparent teacher. We've all had them,

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and I'm sure when you were just
reflecting on your own teachers, you

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probably remember the teacher that put on
an act. And I firmly believe that

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teaching is your own personal character times
ten, and your personality is blown up.

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And even though like mister Canelli's is
this high school English teacher that's not

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necessarily all I am, So you
have to find out what you want to

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do as a teacher. You can't
just be this guy because if you follow

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everything people tell you to do from
a college level even to an administrative level.

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And I'm very, very, very
lucky to be where I am,

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where an illustration is very supportive with
all that we do. Gives us tremendous

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amounts of freedom to be who we
are in the classroom. But you can't

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just take advice blindly. You can
just take educational advice blindly, because if

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you do, you're going to be
transparent and you're going to have these kids

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turn on you like they did on
me when I was twenty one twenty two

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years old trying to control a classroom. And it is what it is.

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Kids are smart. Kids are smarter
now than they were ten years ago,

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twenty years ago, thirty years ago. They are more with it in the

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world now, don't get me wrong, or they bogged down by societal influences

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just as we were. Yeah,
But at the same time, I think

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that a good teacher shines through no
matter what, if their personality is able

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to shine through. Because we talked
about this on my podcast as well,

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and me and Anthony were kind of
going back and forth on this a little

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bit. Anybody can teach writing,
anybody could teach how to analyze literature.

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Anybody can teach you some strategy to
answer multiple choice questions. That's not necessarily

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the hard part of the job.
The hard part of the job is the

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connections. And it's also the easiest
part, which is something that we got

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into on our show. But it's
again, I guess a long way to

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answer a shorter question, it's be
who you want to be, even if

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it means going against what some people
are telling you. And I know that

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there's obviously other factors, but let
your personality shine. That's what I have

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to say. Well, and you
know, the one thing that you haven't

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talked about that you have in a
way is this concept of how do we

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develop better relationships with our children,
you know, with those in a business

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if we happen to be a manager
or whatever, you know, as a

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teacher, and the one thing that
you have done is number one, focused

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on the one by looking at each
of your individual students and then seeking to

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understand a way in which you can
find some commonality and then start communication.

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And as interesting as one does that
I've just had an interesting experience with that,

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and I'm not going to get into
it, but enough other than to

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say that by opening up a conversation, I was able to have the opportunity

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to really help someone to work through
a process that otherwise they may not have

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been able to work through on their
own. And I think that's so important

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that we realize as individuals, whether
we're teaching or whatever that happens to be,

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that as we look around us and
look at those individuals with whom we

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might be able to have an effect, particularly as parents, and understand that

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the only way we can do that
is to open up that communication line.

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And the only way that we can
really open up a communication line is to

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find commonality and then seek to genuinely
get into that and then open up that

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conversation. So I think one of
the things that you're doing and sharing today

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is you know, in a very
different way, is how important that communication

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is A one hundreds I agree with
you, And it leads to other things

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too. It opens the doors for
all this stuff. I used to have

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a professor in college getting my master's
degree. He used to say, the

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kids might not want to work,
but they'll work for me. And I

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took that to heart from the day
that I heard that, And I feel

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like that's one hundred percent true,
And it comes from what you just said

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about building connections. And again,
these are strategies at work, I feel

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outside of the classroom, not just
as a teacher. I feel like,

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you know, middle management, middle
management jobs at an Amazon warehouse could use

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the same exact strategies that I've used
in order to get productivity out of employee.

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So, Jack, and when you've
talked a lot about Anthony, there's

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got to be an incredible story behind
this. So would you mind sharing with

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the audience that story? Sure,
there's so many to list. Is there

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something specific that you want to know? Well, just the background of he

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was in your class, I assume, yeah, And what were his struggles

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and how did you start to communicate
and and what have you done to literally

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change his life? Sure? And
to be completely honest, I think I

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probably chang. He's probably changed my
life more than it always always happens,

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always happens, right, I know? But yeah, so I met him.

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Oh boy, it feels like it
feels like a much longer ago.

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But in two thousand and seventeen,
or so when he was a freshman in

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my class and he was just this
random kid in the class. He was

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nobody. I told him this.
I don't recall the first time I met

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him, and I always feel like, oh, something came up, was

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mane the silence of my phone.
But yeah, so I remember not much

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about him in the first initial meeting, but we over the course developed this

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student teacher relationship that I hope translated
into a mentorship role as time went on

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and then the pandemic happened, And
before the pandemic happened, I remember him

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talking all about his boxing career and
about how he wanted to be a boxer,

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how I wanted to be an amateur
boxer, and foolishly I said,

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oh, okay, that's great,
that's awesome. But in my head,

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I'm like, Okay, he's another
guy with the dream. And I've had

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students come up to me and be
like, I'm going to be the quarterback

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for the Giants, I'm going to
be an a spar driver, I'm going

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to be a millionaire inventor, And
then they never come to be anything,

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and you're supportive of them, but
in your head, you know, it's

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like Okay, nice dream kid,
but come on, move on, And

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I almost wrote him off as nothing
else. I still wanted to see him

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box. I still wanted to see
all that. But at the end of

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the day, I just thought he
was another story, and another story that

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would end after he graduated. So
the pandemic happens, and I didn't write

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him off, but I kind of
lost touch because we are a million different

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responsibilities back into that in twenty and
he especially as a teacher, and he

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didn't really contact anybody in the school
and I wasn't his teacher anymore, with

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somebody else. And he came back
his senior year after COVID was in the

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rear view, and I remember he
came back in this tip top shape and

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he was like, I'm still boxing, I'm still going at it. And

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I'm like, you know what,
Like I'm starting to believe in this kid,

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because he went from freshman year to
senior year and he kept boxing,

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and he kept at it, and
he never wavered. He transformed his body

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from this short little guy with not
an ounce of muscle on him to a

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00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:47.079
guy who's ripped to the gills and
a guy that is in the boxing gym.

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We actually talked about this. We
recorded episode five last night. He

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goes into the boxing three boxing gym
three hundred and thirty five days out of

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the year. Wow. So he
puts in a lot of effort, and

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I give him. I can't give
him enough credit for the amount of work

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that he puts into this, but
yeah. So the relationship built up his

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senior year, and we kept talking
about his boxing while also talking about our

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own lives and what made us so
similar, and we discussed hour upbringings,

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and I became more and more of
a believer in him. Not that I

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wouldn't have if he wasn't a boxer. I would have always believed because we

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had formed this developed relationship beyond all
that. And he kept inviting me to

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go to see in box towards the
end of the senior year and I'm like,

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I'll come to one. I'll come
the one February passes. He wins

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00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:45.559
in the find and I'm like,
oh, that's awesome, and he shows

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00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:47.400
me the video. He doesn't you
got to come to the next one.

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And I'm like, okay, I'll
come to the next one. Next one

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00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:52.119
passes, he goes, I want
again, you didn't come and I'm like,

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oh, okay, I'll come to
the next one, and he goes,

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you better come to the next one. I go, okay, come,

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I promise you I'll come to the
next one. And I go to

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the next one. And we talked
about this on the our episode two and

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I bought in fully when I was
able to see him box live, and

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he impressed me more than anybody else
that I've ever seen play a sport that

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I've had as a student that had
and I bought in just as he did

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for I feel like my class.
And we developed this friendship that lasted after

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he graduated and to this day where
we don't just do the podcast together,

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we hang out, we go to
UFC events. I believe he was with

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00:26:41.599 --> 00:26:47.119
me when I got one of these
gloves signed. But yeah, I'm a

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friend with all of his family members. He's brought me into his crew in

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a way. I'm hoping that I'm
still able to mentor him. I send

333
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him a text message every before every
fight. I always say, good luck

334
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if you lose this, I'm right
there corner. He's yeah, he's a

335
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:10.599
great guy, and I'm probably call
my friend and I hope I answered your

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00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:12.960
question. I feel like, I
feel like I screwed around your questions out

337
00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:15.960
there, Doug, and I'm sorry. Well, so I'm going to go

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deeper. So yeah, go deeper, as you know. And here's an

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00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:26.279
interesting observation that I've made so many
times. We do things for people and

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we make a difference in their lives, but we never get the feedback.

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00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:37.559
And it's rare that someone will come
back and say, Wow, you did

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00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.359
this for me and this is the
result. So my question is, has

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he ever done that for you?
Has he ever come and really said,

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00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:48.799
you know what, you have no
idea what you've done for me, but

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00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:52.799
this is it. Oh, I
hope I don't embarrass And one hundred percent

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00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:56.400
he has. He sent me this
nice message on my birthday this past year

347
00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:00.519
that was really kind of him,
and it's about how I was always in

348
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his corner no matter what, and
I was, and even on our podcast,

349
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he said that I was one of
the only people that reached out to

350
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him after his very first loss,
and that meant a lot to me.

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I didn't know I was the only
person, as said, of his immediate

352
00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:21.640
family that reached out to him.
And he said without that, not necessarily

353
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that he would quit or anything like
that. But it meant a lot that

354
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somebody else outside of his family was
in his corner because when and he's told

355
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:37.720
me this privately, when he's had
that initial loss, because he was undefeated

356
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:41.200
for a very very long time,
and when we had that initial loss,

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it did shake his confidence quite a
bit. And to have somebody there that's

358
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not sugarcoating things, that's saying,
hey man, you'll get back in there.

359
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.160
Hey man, it's not the end
of the world. You're gonna win

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your next fight, and even if
you don't win that next fight, you

361
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don't win the next one after that. And he said mostly after or after

362
00:29:02.039 --> 00:29:06.480
the fights, how much those text
messages mean to him. I remember texting

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00:29:06.519 --> 00:29:11.720
him. He went on a bit
of a losing skid towards the middle of

364
00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:17.720
twenty twenty three of last year,
and I remember texting him the day of

365
00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:22.480
his fight when he finally got that
win back, saying like, look,

366
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don't be in your head. Don't
do anything like that like safe focused,

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And he doesn't. I would never
say that he credits me with the wind

368
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because that would be ridiculous, but
he did say how much it meant to

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him that I was the one that
reached out, that I was able to,

370
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you know, connect with him on
that level because a lot of his

371
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friends are obviously much younger, and
I was his teacher, and I guess

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it's nice to have because now I've
I'd no longer consider myself his men tour

373
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necessarily, but I feel like I
am that older friend that is in his

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corner, that does have life experience, and then that he does come to

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for advice because if I've lived something
already, he'll be able to be like,

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00:30:14.440 --> 00:30:18.400
hey, canelis are I'm thinking about
doing this? I'm not sure if

377
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:22.200
I should, and I'll be like, yeah, here's the pros and cons

378
00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:27.759
of it. So he's never not
thanked me for anything that I've said to

379
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:34.920
him or done for him. There
he knows. I think we we both

380
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:38.559
know how much we mean to each
other on a very personal level. And

381
00:30:40.359 --> 00:30:45.599
without him, there's no podcast without
me, I'm not sure. But but

382
00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:51.359
on that that note, yes they
answer your question, yes he has well,

383
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:55.400
and and then I give you long
winded I give you long winded answers

384
00:30:55.440 --> 00:31:03.759
for guessing no questions. And I
think the important thing for people who are

385
00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:10.559
listening to understand is that you can
make a difference in someone's life if you're

386
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:15.359
just willing to number one, open
up that communication, Number two not judge,

387
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:22.960
and number three be there as a
support when they fail, and even

388
00:31:22.039 --> 00:31:27.079
be there as a greater support when
they succeed, and continue to encourage them.

389
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It makes such a difference. And
the one thing that I have discovered,

390
00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:34.799
you know, as I've been doing
the podcast and just in my life

391
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:38.279
in general, I remember initially,
all right, I just want to touch

392
00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:41.000
millions of people. I want to
have an effect on millions of people.

393
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:45.240
And finally, you know, I
kind of slapt myself in the face and

394
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:49.319
said, you know what, all
that's really important is the one If I

395
00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:56.279
can reach one person and make a
difference in their lives when they start to

396
00:31:56.359 --> 00:32:00.759
pass that forward, and then when
we start to look at the generational aspect

397
00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:04.680
of that, that's going to make
a difference in generations for a number of

398
00:32:04.759 --> 00:32:07.519
people. And I think that becomes
the key for our audience is to recognize

399
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:10.839
that, you know what, you
only need to touch that one and if

400
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:15.240
you can do that, that's going
to make such a difference. I want

401
00:32:15.319 --> 00:32:21.279
to change topics just a little bit
because as a teacher, I'm sure,

402
00:32:21.319 --> 00:32:27.200
you have really observed this concept.
It's really interesting. I got a message

403
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:31.799
from a friend the other day and
they were talking about how one of their

404
00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:38.960
son's friends was being bullied. I
think they were a little bit, you

405
00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:45.039
know, they had some disabilities that
they were born with and they were being

406
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.720
bullied, and ultimately, apparently as
a young child, they just tried to

407
00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:57.599
commit suicide. And the one thing
that I have been fascinated with and really

408
00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:02.279
you know, focused on in the
past us was this concept of suicide and

409
00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:08.079
bullying and the emotional effects that occur
with that. As a teacher, have

410
00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:15.160
you observed a fair amount of bullying
that goes on within your classroom? Yeah,

411
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:21.799
so, as best I can to
protect any identities and stuff like that,

412
00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:27.720
I would never obviously give any of
that away. Bullying is probably just

413
00:33:27.799 --> 00:33:32.640
as big a problem as it's ever
been. It's unfortunate and a lot of

414
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:39.559
the times nowadays it starts online and
cyber bullying is a huge thing because we

415
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:45.640
have all these apps now, we
have Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok. Facebook

416
00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:49.880
is somehow making a comeback. I
don't know how that's even possible, But

417
00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:54.720
you can't escape anymore like we did
when we were younger, and that's one

418
00:33:54.799 --> 00:34:00.519
of the most unfortunate parts because we
can we can quell bullying in a classroom

419
00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:06.519
setting. How do we do that
is up to the individual teacher, but

420
00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:12.039
that also comes from building connections as
well, where hopefully a knock on wood

421
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:17.000
that somebody they respect you enough not
to do it in front of you and

422
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:22.400
not to and want to not have
it get back to you. But yeah,

423
00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:30.480
it's just as prevalent now and that's
terrible that kids still think that or

424
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:37.239
are driven to suicidal ideation. It's
it's crazy that it's still a thing that

425
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:44.480
kids don't know in twenty twenty four
how to treat each other when the only

426
00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:50.199
thing that we have to model it
we have to be the models for respect

427
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:53.639
in society. And I take my
responsibility as a teacher very very seriously.

428
00:34:54.199 --> 00:35:01.079
I give respect and I expect respect
back, and there's no there's never a

429
00:35:02.280 --> 00:35:07.800
disconnect there. And yeah, let
me let me ask you a question,

430
00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:13.039
and is there a story that you
could share with the audience, because I

431
00:35:13.039 --> 00:35:16.960
think this could be an example if
there is a story where you had some

432
00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:22.920
bullying going on in your classroom and
how did you handle it and did that

433
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:30.320
in fact make a difference and stop
the bullying and help whoever was being bullied

434
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:37.679
come out of that a little bit
emotionally. So I can only speak kind

435
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:43.599
of in generality on this story just
because I have to protect whoever is in

436
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:50.840
it exactly. But the best I'll
just, you know, for the sake

437
00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:54.000
of the story, I'll make up
names. Let's say the kid was Bill,

438
00:35:54.320 --> 00:36:00.679
and he was being bullied, and
he was being bullied on the fact

439
00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:07.280
that he was a different race and
he was not fitting in in this group

440
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:14.239
project. The best way that I
saw to address this situation was you have

441
00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:16.079
to call it out. You have
to call it out, and you have

442
00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:21.400
to say, look, why is
there a problem with anybody in this classroom?

443
00:36:21.519 --> 00:36:23.719
And you have to speak in generalities. You can't be like, this

444
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:28.480
is the problem that we have in
this classroom, because guess what, they

445
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:31.519
know. They know that you're talking
about them, even if you don't call

446
00:36:31.559 --> 00:36:35.880
it out directly. And that's what
happened in this case. I remember Bill,

447
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:38.400
the kid that was being picked on, after I called it out in

448
00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:43.320
very general terms, being like that
was about me, wasn't it? And

449
00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:49.519
I go yeah yeah, without saying
yeah yeah, and he goes thank you,

450
00:36:50.039 --> 00:36:54.679
and I go literally anytime, and
did it work? Did it get

451
00:36:54.719 --> 00:37:02.360
him accepted into a group? No, but it didn't also develop. It

452
00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:07.159
was almost like a fire that was
being started, and it could have gotten

453
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:13.199
so much worse, where people would
have picked on him even more because of

454
00:37:13.239 --> 00:37:22.679
his background. And I feel like
from that moment forward, we almost had

455
00:37:22.719 --> 00:37:28.079
people not jump in to save him
because that's that would be wrong of me

456
00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:30.800
to say, But we had people
who also picked up on what I was

457
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:40.440
saying to the class and yeah,
that's that's a big bullying sorry that I

458
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:47.119
couldn't recall. There's another story too, about getting word that students were being

459
00:37:47.159 --> 00:37:52.400
cyber bullied. And it's not enough
to just do a lesson on cyber bullying,

460
00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:55.280
because that's not enough. They're gonna
be like, who the hell is

461
00:37:55.320 --> 00:38:01.559
this talking to us about how we
interact on social media. It's just this

462
00:38:01.719 --> 00:38:06.519
old man, right, even though
I'm only thirty two, I'm gonna be

463
00:38:06.519 --> 00:38:12.119
thirty two giving us this lesson.
You have to confront it and make it

464
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:16.960
a part of your lesson without making
it the lesson. And I remember having

465
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:23.760
these students who were being cyberbullied almost
stopping it because now our eyes are on

466
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:28.960
you. It's almost like we're watching. Now we know about it. And

467
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:34.639
if sometimes an adult knows about something
going on, sometimes it stops because they

468
00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:38.320
don't want to be that jerk who's
doing that online. They don't want to

469
00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:44.039
maybe they didn't realize that. Maybe
the bully didn't realize how much of a

470
00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:49.639
negative effect they were having on other
people. And I think that happened with

471
00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:52.800
this whole cyber bullion thing because I
remember addressing it in class, being almost

472
00:38:52.880 --> 00:39:00.159
calling it stupid that people were cyberbullying
in today's day and age, when everything

473
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:06.280
is recorded online, nothing ever leaves
the internet. It's something that I try

474
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:09.639
to tell the kids on a daily
basis. Don't write anything online that you

475
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:15.000
don't want repeated to your parents or
whoever's watching you at home, because it's

476
00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:19.880
there forever or your bosses, your
future bosses, think about your future self.

477
00:39:21.280 --> 00:39:22.840
And I don't think kids like being
called out, and I feel like

478
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:28.719
even if they think they're being called
out, I think that helps stop bullying

479
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:34.800
almost added source. So, and
do you find there's a reason. Is

480
00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:39.199
there a commonality among those that kids
that are bullying or even adults, But

481
00:39:39.320 --> 00:39:46.079
is there a commonality that you have
observed as to maybe why they are bullying

482
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:52.800
others. Yeah, I mean it's
always people that are not confident in themselves.

483
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:58.000
That's nine times out of ten when
I've seen bullying, it is because

484
00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:02.079
somebody else not has been bullied,
but they're uncomfortable with who they are,

485
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:07.880
as opposed to going out of their
way and doing something because they want to.

486
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:12.679
They I really feel and I'm I'm
a big proponent of my students,

487
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:15.559
and I always try and give every
single one benefit of the doubt. I

488
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:21.159
always feel like they are and obviously
not the victim, but they are the

489
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:23.719
ones who wake up in the morning
and they are the ones who are unhappy

490
00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:30.239
about themselves, so they make others
unhappy about themselves and or try to maybe

491
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:36.000
and you know them in being in
the adult world, because it happens.

492
00:40:37.480 --> 00:40:43.039
We have other people like I remember
being I was a deli guy at stopping

493
00:40:43.079 --> 00:40:47.559
shop, and I remember having bullies
there, And not that I was bullied

494
00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:53.039
at stopping shop being a deli guy, but I remember these miserable people who

495
00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:57.960
hated their job and were just looking
for the next thing to do, and

496
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:02.159
they would take out their aggression on
somebodybody else. So the commonality is that

497
00:41:02.599 --> 00:41:07.679
I feel like they all are trying
to make up for something that they don't

498
00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:15.559
necessarily have, and it's sad.
And beyond that too, you see a

499
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:21.199
lot of it in a lot of
it, from my experience, has stemmed

500
00:41:21.239 --> 00:41:24.079
from jealousy. A lot of them, a lot of bullying stories that I

501
00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:30.599
see, whether I first hand their
second end accounts come from bullying people for

502
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:36.400
things that others have that they want, whether it's the girlfriend that they don't

503
00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:39.000
have, or the boyfriend that don't
have, or the new car that somebody

504
00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:44.639
is driving, or the new job
that somebody is begging to have. And

505
00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:49.920
there again, just I always feel
that way. I've felt this way for

506
00:41:50.159 --> 00:41:52.960
since I've become a teacher, that
if you do bully, you're just unhappy

507
00:41:53.440 --> 00:42:00.360
with yourself. And on the flip
side of this too, a lot of

508
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:06.599
them and choose to believe them or
don't. But a lot of people who

509
00:42:06.639 --> 00:42:10.880
are accused of bullying don't realize necessarily
that they're a bully. A lot of

510
00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:19.000
people realize don't realize that they are
having a deleterious effect on whoever they're choosing

511
00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:22.480
to pick on that day because they'll
try and play it off as I'm joking,

512
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:27.760
Oh it's fake, Oh we're friends. Oh it's this, it's that.

513
00:42:28.159 --> 00:42:35.079
And that's a commonality that I've seen
that's been very prevalent in today's society,

514
00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:42.199
more so than five years ago even
Okay, yeah, yeah, So

515
00:42:42.639 --> 00:42:47.280
as we close the show today,
with all of the experiences you've had as

516
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:51.760
a teacher, is an individual,
as you've seen all of these things going

517
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:54.679
on, what would be a message
that you want to share with the audience

518
00:42:54.800 --> 00:43:00.079
that hopefully are some teachers, some
parents, some individuals that maybe are bullying,

519
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:06.239
some individuals that maybe are being bullied. Overall, within less than a

520
00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.079
minute, what would be the message
you'd like to share with the audience.

521
00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:15.159
So my main message is to never
stop being who you are just because somebody

522
00:43:15.159 --> 00:43:19.360
else doesn't like who you are.
That doesn't mean that you have to stop

523
00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:22.239
or change yourself. If you like
yourself, there's no reason to change.

524
00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:25.960
If you're proud of who you are, keep going, keep pushing, no

525
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:30.199
matter how hard you have to push, you have to keep going forward.

526
00:43:30.519 --> 00:43:34.519
And look, I'm a prime example
of this. I had a failed podcast

527
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:37.760
ten years ago, and now I'm
coming out with a new podcast, and

528
00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:43.679
we're relatively successful already. Anthony he
failed at his a couple of his fights.

529
00:43:43.800 --> 00:43:46.320
Guess what he's going and he's going
to win another tournament. So never

530
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:50.159
stop pushing. If you have a
dream, you have to hold on to

531
00:43:50.280 --> 00:43:52.000
it and shoot for the stars,
because if you shoot for the stars,

532
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:59.519
you can do You really can accomplish
anything, and I firmly believe that you

533
00:43:59.519 --> 00:44:04.159
can comp anything. I love that, And Matthew, thank you so much

534
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:07.320
for being on the show. I
really appreciate your insights and what you're willing

535
00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:09.880
to share in the fact that you're
willing to be open and really talk about

536
00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:14.679
these things. So I appreciate you
being on the show one more time.

537
00:44:14.719 --> 00:44:17.880
What's the name of your podcast?
Yeah, so we're the Classrooms Podcast.

538
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:22.599
You can follow us on Instagram and
TikTok and Facebook at the Classroads podcast and

539
00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:27.960
a whole social media YouTube. We're
putting up all of our episodes on iTunes,

540
00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:32.440
Spotify, Apple, wherever you get
podcasts. Again, it's The Classrooms

541
00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:37.039
Podcast hosted by meeting Matthew mucnell as
a high school English teacher and my co

542
00:44:37.119 --> 00:44:45.559
host is my current friend, former
student amateur boxer Anthony visit Lana fantastic folks,

543
00:44:45.599 --> 00:44:47.280
Thanks for listening. I hope this
has made a difference for you,

544
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:51.719
and I really want you to consider
what's been said here and see if there's

545
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:55.880
ways that it can help you to
change your own life and also help to

546
00:44:55.920 --> 00:45:00.679
make an effect on other people.
Who you can help is doctor Dog.

547
00:45:00.760 --> 00:45:02.000
Thanks for listening. Folks. I
hope you'll join us against