May 19, 2026

Good Enough Is Good Enough: Escaping Perfectionism and Choosing Excellence

Good Enough Is Good Enough: Escaping Perfectionism and Choosing Excellence
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Stanley Bronstein challenges the trap of perfectionism and offers a better path: excellence through steady, permanent change. We discuss habit loops, consistency after setbacks, clean “inputs” for food and thoughts, and why balance is something you create, not something you find. Plus: why his books are free and his mission is bigger than money. A calm fire-lit conversation. https://TheWayOfExcellence.com

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,

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professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to inspire vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you.

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To do the same.

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Stanley welcome, Hi, thank you for having me here.

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It's a pleasure to be here.

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Well, I'm excited to having you hear. And you know,

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as we were talking just before we started the recording,

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what amazes me is you're up at two o'clock in

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the morning. It's four o'clock here in the afternoon for

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me in Thailand, and I'm waiting to hear that whole story.

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But what I'd love for you to do is to

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kind of share with the audience who you are, your

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background briefly, and then what brought you to this point.

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You've written many books now and you've got an incredible,

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incredible thing you've put together called the Way of Excellence.

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I'd love to hear your story, your journey. Okay, let's

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start at the beginning. I was eight years old boy

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at school. The lady and missus Cleary from the front

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office store. Remember her name, comes to the door of

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the score room. So, Stanley, you rode your bike to school,

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didn't you? And I said yes. He said, your father

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called and he said he needs you at home. It's

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okay for you to leave. Go ride your bike home. Well,

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wondering what's going on, got on my bike, got about

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a block or two away from the school, fell off

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my bike. I sat there and I got up, and

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I had immediately realized what happened. My mother had died.

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I don't know how I knew it, but I knew it.

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I turned stone cold, got back on my bike, rode home,

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got home. Everyone was crying at home. I'm just sitting there,

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stone cold. My father's busy planning the funeral. We're Jewish.

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We bury people very quickly after they die a lot

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of times. The next day he's sitting there planning it.

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He puts me in his bedroom. He says, you can

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sit in here and cry, and he sets the door.

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Nobody came and talked to me, Nobody did anything whatever.

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I was on my own, needless to said, didn't cry.

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Next day, we're at the funeral home getting ready to

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go drive to the cemetery. I insisted that they opened

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the casket to let me see that my mother was

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in there. And then I started screaming and insisted it

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They opened it up, they let me sing her, They

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closed it back up to the cemetery. Buried or didn't cry.

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Next month or two, I had nightmares or dreams, depending

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on what you want to call it. She got up

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in the middle of the night and she walked home

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from the cemetery. But you know, nothing happening. Nothing happened.

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I'm living with my father, who's massively obese, and we

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both just ate ourselves into oblivion. Just more food, more food,

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more food, and more food. And if you look at

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my pictures from that time, I just started getting bigger

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and bigger and bigger. Most people, when the guys when

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they're married, they say they'd love to be as small

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as they were when they got married. Well, I'm smaller

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than I was when I was thirteen years old. Wow.

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And I don't know if that's a good thing or

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a crazy thing or both, but I am and I

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actually I found recently found some pictures to prove it.

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That's the that's the sad part. So going through this

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whole thing, Go through high school, you know, not as

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popular as I could I mean I was popular, but

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not as popular as I could be because I was big.

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Went to college, same story, joined a fraternity. My senior

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year of college. I lost a bunch of weight, probably

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a seventy five eighty pounds whatever like that, and started

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becoming more popular. But then that summer I was on

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a car trip with some friends of mine and they

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had cookies in the backseat, and I ate the cookies.

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Went right back in my old habits. Boom weight came

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back on. Plus more so, all the hard work that

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I did was only temporary. So lesson Number one. Temporary

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change yields temporary results. Permanent change yields permanent results. I'm

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gonna talk about that a little bit more, a little

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bit later. Okay. So if you want to change your

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life permanently, you have to make permanent changes. But we'll

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get we'll get back to that. Yeah, we'll get into

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that situation. I start moving on. Graduated from college, became

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a CPA. Certain that's a certified public accountant in the

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United States, chartered accountant elsewhere in the world. Working with

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one of my older brothers, one day out of the blue,

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where we're getting in an argument, and as brothers tend

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to do, they're screaming at each other. He sits there

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and he says, you know what you ought to do?

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And I said what he says, You ought to go

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to law school. And I said, that's a good idea.

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I think I'll do that. So I signed up for

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law school. Took me four years because I went at night.

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I became a lawyer. So lesson from that story is

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you could be arguing with someone who's totally full of crap,

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because believe me, he was. Yet you should be listening

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to what they say because some words of wisdom may

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accidentally come out of their mouth that you should hear. Amen. Yeah,

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so you know. So that changed my life and that

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was a good thing. Thank you, bro, I appreciate it.

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So there. So once again, when I got to my

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last year in law school. When in law school, that

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was when I maxed out. I was about three hundred

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and sixty seven pounds as you can see in this picture. Yeah, wow,

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I was a big boy. That's me today on the

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other side. So my senior year, my last year in

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law school, I started losing weight again. I joined weight watchers.

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I lost. I actually lost one hundred pounds. I got

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one hundred pounds ribbon. But once again, afterward I got

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small enough to get women interested in me. I could

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start dating. But I got married, started going back to

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my old habits again, as guys often do when they

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get married. And the way he started coming back on.

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But this time only sixty pounds of one hundred pounds

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came back on. And you know why, because there was

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one permanent change that I made. Remember that temporary change,

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temporate results, permanent change, permanent results. The permanent change I

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made was I used to believe it or not, get

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up in the middle of the night and eat full

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meals in the middle of the night. Wow, I mean

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a full blown meal. I'm not talking about I'm talking

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about a full blown meal. So when I was losing

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that weight through weight Watchers, I accidentally learned something. I

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came up with that thing. I would wake up ready

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to go eat a meal. At the time, I was

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eating a lot of those frozen dinners weight Watchers, frozen

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dinners with the good looking picture on the front. See

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what I what I thought was healthy back then, is

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not what I think is healthy now. I think those

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things are not good for either. Loaded with sodium, all

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they all they are is portion control. That's what That's

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what they are. So I would pull the package out

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of the freezer, I would look at the picture on

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the cover. I would imagine what it tasted like. Because

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I'd eaten tons of them, I knew what it tasted like.

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I said, that was delicious, m yummy, yummy, yummy, and

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I put it back in the freezer and then I

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went back to sleep. So by doing that, I broke

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myself in the habit of eating a meal in the

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middle of the night. Not eating a meal in the

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middle of the night was good for a forty pound

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permanent weight loss right there, right there, I was a

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permanent have it, So I asked forward, I'm getting ready

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to turn fifty years old. This was almost exactly seventeen

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years ago, February one, two thousand and nine. I remember

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the day. I call that my rebirthday. I'm getting ready

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to celebrate my seventeenth three birthday in five days. So

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at the time, it was four months before my fiftieth birthday.

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That's a time when a lot of men, you know,

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were thinking about their future, their life, and a lot

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of women do. I weighed three hundred and twenty pounds

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at the time. I wasn't my full through sixty seven,

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but I weighed through twenty, hadn't had a heart attack yet,

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had not had a stroke yet. It was not on

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diabetes medication yet, but I probably should have been. I

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wasn't on high blood pressure medication yet, but I probably

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should have been. And I was doing a lot of thinking,

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and I said to myself, where am I going to

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be in five years if I keep doing what I'm

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doing right now? Would you care to guess what? The

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answer was, probably not here anymore on the earth. Dead. Yeah,

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and guess what. I did not want to be dead,

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so I said turned to my wife and I said

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I'm done. I'm cooked. No more. Can I use colorful

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language here? No, okay, I'm gonna okay, I said, I'm

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not going to tolerate this kind of thing in my

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life anymore. So I'm done. I'm cooked. I'm going to

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learn to start eating better right now, not tomorrow, not

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last week, not next month, next week. Now, I'm going

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to start walking every day, or trying to walk every

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day if my body's capable of doing it right now.

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And the reason why I picked walking was it I

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figured you didn't need special equipment, you could do it

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almost anywhere. I figured it would beat my body up

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less than other forms of ventures. So I said, I'm

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gonna work. I'm working towards starting to walk every day

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right now. Now. Little did I know how prophetic my

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words were back then, because when I tell you where

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I'm at today versus where it was then, I hit

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it right on the money. So right away I started

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doing three things. See, not only did I admit to

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myself where I was, I took action on it, you know,

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because that was not the first time in my life

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I said that I'm killing myself by overreading. But it

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was the first time I did something about it permanently.

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So I first thing I did was I quit drinking alcohol.

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I won't say I was an alcoholic, but I will

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say I was drinking too much, and I will say

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it was not serving me. I was serving it. So

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I took my bottle of Scotch, I had pour it

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down the toilet, flushed it. That was it done. Haven't

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touched it since seventeen years. Okay, I was drinking two

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liter bottles of soda. I was drinking three of those

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a day. They were diet caffeine free, so surely those

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must have been good, right, No, No, they weren't. Like

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I said, when I thought was healthy back then, is

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not what I think is healthy now. So no more.

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I haven't had one of those in seventeen years. And

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I also quit eating beef and pork read meat, And

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that was an accomplishment for me when you consider that

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my father was a butcher, and I grew up in

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a house with unlimited free meat, and for me to

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quit eating beef and pork that was something. But I

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quit doing those and I started walking. In the beginning,

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I had trouble. I could only walk two or three blocks,

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so I did a lot of my walking. I would

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go to a pool, and that was when I started

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exercising in the middle of the night, because the only

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time in the pool was freeing available for me to

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walk was the middle of the night. So I would

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go to the gym in the middle of the night

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and I would walk because I would I started walking

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for hours, just back and forth, back and forth, and

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I would listen to audio books. I put on headphones

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water I made them waterproof and I could listen, and

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I started learning things and thinking about things and just

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spending down walking. Then as I was approaching my fiftieth birthday,

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I just I was going to start walking outside. By then,

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i'd lost almost fifty pounds, fifty more pounds, so I

225
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was down to about two seventy you know, something like that,

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and I started walking outside. That went on for, you know,

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another four and a half years or so. Then I

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decided I was going to make another push. I was ready,

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and so that next push was I gave up chicken

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and turkey. So essentially I went vegetarian because my research

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indicated that was better for my health. That was better

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for me, and I kept walking and I lost more weight. Now,

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one thing I want to emphasize about this whole thing.

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This was not a straight line process. I had good days,

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I had bad days. I had days where I did great.

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I had days where I messed up. But the important

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thing is I got started and I kept going. Every

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time I messed up, every time I fell off the wagon,

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I got back on the wagon. I hopped right back

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on and I kept going. So that's something to remember.

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You know, you don't have to be perfect. You are

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not going to be perfect. We are human beings. Remember that,

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and I can be perfect. So fast forward another five years.

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I my weight was down to about one eight one

245
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ninety two hundred. It kept fluctuating one eighty one ninety

246
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two hundred, and it wasn't stable. And yet I was

247
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walking ten to fifteen miles every day by them, and

248
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I said, I'm walking fifteen miles a day and I

249
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can't get my weight below one hundred and eighty. I said,

250
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I'm doing something wrong here. So another lesson I learned

251
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was you cannot exercise your way out of a poor diet.

252
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Nutrition is extremely important. It's all important. So I analyzed

253
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what I was eating and I said, I'm going to

254
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give up bread, butter cheese, and ice cream, in other words, dairy.

255
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And I did that. I essentially I became full blown vegan.

256
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And guess what happened. Not only did my weight gippul

257
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of one point fifty, I lost fifty pounds in like

258
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five minutes. I mean I just I melted, literally, And

259
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so I said, Okay, this is the way I should

260
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be eating, this is why I need to be eating.

261
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So I made a commitment to myself at that time,

262
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and once again it was not a straight line. I

263
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was eating. You know, you can be vegan and eat

264
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junk food. Vegans are I mean oreos are vegan. Yeah,

265
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you know you can eat processed foods that are vegan,

266
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and then you can eat whole foods, plant based foods,

267
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real stuff that's also vegan. That's what you need to

268
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be doing. That's where the power is. So I made

269
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a commitment that no unhealthy food was going to enter

270
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my mouth, full bone commitment, No one healthy food was

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going to enter my mouth. And I also made a

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commitment that I said, my diet, what I eat is

273
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not just my food, it's the thoughts that go into

274
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my head. It's the things I surround myself with, the

275
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people I surround myself with I made a commitment to

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do the best I could to make sure that no

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unhealthy thoughts would enter my head. I would only hang

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around people who were good for me and ask. So

279
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you wind up getting rid of some people in your life.

280
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Yeah you don't, yeh. I you know I did that,

281
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and that's okay. I'm better off for that. So I

282
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started doing that, and I got healthier and healthier and healthier.

283
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Now today, almost seventeen years into the process, I'm gonna

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I'm going to tell you where I'm at, and then

285
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I'm going to tell you what I learned along the

286
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way and what I did as a result of what

287
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I learned. I'm down to about one hundred and forty

288
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five pounds, no drugs, no surgeries. I'm sixty six. I

289
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feel like i'm thirty five, if not younger, except I

290
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was not in this good of shape when I was

291
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thirty five. So many ways I'm better. So when a

292
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lot of people say midlife second half of your life,

293
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I don't like that. No, I mean, okay, I think

294
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that is negative thinking. I think that is a zig

295
00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:09.879
Ziggar used to say, I think that's thinking thinking. Now,

296
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like I said, I'm sixty six. I don't know if

297
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my life is half over or not, but I plan

298
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on living. I plan on living forever or dying trying.

299
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And that's why I take care of myself. So I

300
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don't necessarily think I'm at the midpoint of my life,

301
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and I don't care. I just know I could retire today.

302
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I'm debt free, I have money in the bank, I've

303
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had a successful career. I could quit right now and

304
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take it easy for the rest of my life. So

305
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I'm going to stop you.

306
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I'm going to stop you there for a minute because

307
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I've got I have some questions for you along the way.

308
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Number One, you were walking fifteen miles a day. You

309
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were doing all of this stuff. When were you working? Okay,

310
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I come first of all. I work from home.

311
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Okay, it makes it easier. I work for myself. You know,

312
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I have clients, but I work for myself. I have

313
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I'm an attorney, so my work does not necessarily require

314
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me to be physically at an office. It doesn't require

315
00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:10.839
me to, you know, meet with patients at the office

316
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to operate on them and everything. Plus, I came up

317
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with a little thing where I put a computer on

318
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my treadmill so I could walk. Okay, I told you

319
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:24.680
before we got on this podcast. I woke up at midnight.

320
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That's my regular daily routine. I should have been a marine.

321
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Now I've been on a treadmill for an hour and

322
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a half. I had my computer. I was working on

323
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the computer while I was walking at two and a

324
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quarter miles an hour. I don't want fast, but I

325
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keep going so I'm getting work done. I'm multitasking right,

326
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and I'm fortunate that I can do that. And you know,

327
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and a lot of my work is if I'm walking outside,

328
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as long as I have my phone with me, I

329
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can get my emails, I can get my text I

330
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can make phone calls. I can do a lot of things.

331
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If I come up with ideas, I can put them

332
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on my phone and they're there for me. You know,

333
00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:02.160
when I come back. All my notes, all my system,

334
00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:06.440
it's all digitized. So if I need something what I'm

335
00:18:06.440 --> 00:18:08.160
out and about, I can go on my phone. I

336
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.839
can get it. So a lot of it is organization.

337
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So that's how I do that. Does that sort of

338
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:16.880
answer the question, Well, it does kind of.

339
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But I think of a bunch of people that are

340
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working regular jobs they've got to be at the office

341
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and so forth. And you know, they don't get up

342
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at two in the morning or at midnight to exercise.

343
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They don't have to.

344
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They do not have to. I gave that. I get that.

345
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I'm just joking with you about how do you help

346
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people or how do you advise them when they really

347
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are working eight to ten hours a day in an office.

348
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How on earth are they able to do some of

349
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the things that you were able to do.

350
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First of all, you don't have to do what I do.

351
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Part of what I do is to demonstrate that ties

352
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into what I've learned out of this thing. It is

353
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to demonstrate what it is possible for human beings to do.

354
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Part of what I'm doing is a test to see

355
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what I can do. Is it nuts that I walk

356
00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:05.680
as much as I do, Yeah, it is. It's it's nuts,

357
00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:10.440
But it's also incredibly empowering. A lot of what I

358
00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:15.839
do is I do it because I can. Yes, That's why,

359
00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:17.920
you know, I want to see what I can do.

360
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:18.400
I can't.

361
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:22.319
Okay, okay, So the next question, next question I have

362
00:19:22.519 --> 00:19:24.480
because you have become a vegan.

363
00:19:24.680 --> 00:19:26.480
You're a vegan, and I.

364
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:29.000
Know that I've had a doctor that I've worked with,

365
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:32.319
a nutritional doctor, and he is an MD, and he

366
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has pushed me towards veganism.

367
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And I've done that for a.

368
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While, and then I recognized that I'm not getting sufficient

369
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protein for my muscles to continue to build. And I

370
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:47.920
know people, a lot of people are on the Keto

371
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diet where they're eating you know, meat and so and

372
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and I actually have moved towards that for the last

373
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couple of weeks to see how that goes, because I

374
00:19:57.799 --> 00:20:01.480
found that just being vagan U changed a couple of

375
00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:06.640
blood tests that were not good. And also I found

376
00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:11.000
that I was losing muscle tone and muscle even though

377
00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:13.680
I'm working out and doing some of most things. And

378
00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:17.480
so how do you help people to understand And again,

379
00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:22.400
it may be your particular body and your particularly metabolism

380
00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:27.480
that suggests veganism is best for you, whereas other people

381
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:31.359
will be on the air swearing that the Keto diet

382
00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:34.799
or the Mediterranean diet is absolutely the way to go.

383
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:37.880
So how do you share that with the audience.

384
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:42.559
Okay, first of all, yes, people have different bodies. I

385
00:20:42.680 --> 00:20:45.359
had my physical two weeks ago, and I did my

386
00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:47.720
blood work numbers and my blood work numbers are off

387
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:51.799
the charts and cast it. Yeah, I mean thirty year

388
00:20:51.799 --> 00:20:55.000
olds which they had my bloodwork number. Now, A lot

389
00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:59.240
of it is learning to how to get a protein.

390
00:21:00.039 --> 00:21:03.559
First of all, I'll give you some examples. People ask me,

391
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:07.000
do I eat rice? You live in Thailand. I'm assuming

392
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:10.160
you eat rice. I eat rice? Yes, okay, is it

393
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:13.720
white rice? No? What's type of rice? Brown rice? There's

394
00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:16.880
brown rice longer okay, now, okay, brown rice is better,

395
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.720
much better than white rice. Yeah. However, there are other

396
00:21:20.839 --> 00:21:29.160
grains spelt, barley, camot, emmer rye. I make a mix

397
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:33.119
of seven different grains, and I cook those and I

398
00:21:33.160 --> 00:21:35.599
eat those. I stop eating rice and eat those. I

399
00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:37.960
did a nutritional analysis on that, and I can send

400
00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:42.720
you the recipe the nutritional analysis. It has almost twice

401
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:46.519
the protein of brown rice. Oh absolutely, yeah. Yeah.

402
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:48.799
And that's not a lot of protein.

403
00:21:48.920 --> 00:21:53.799
I mean no, it is a lot. It's a lot more. Okay. Example.

404
00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:58.559
Another example, I made myself a tomato soup. Okay, tomatoes

405
00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:02.680
in the tomato soup. A did the pressure ker cooker.

406
00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:06.759
I threw in beans, a lot of beans loaded with protein.

407
00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:10.359
I threw in a pound of tofu in there as

408
00:22:10.440 --> 00:22:13.160
well cooked it. Then I put it in the blender

409
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:14.799
and plunded it all up into soup, and you sit

410
00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:18.160
there and eat that. I made a protein packed tomato soup.

411
00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:22.119
I make other things that are I make my own

412
00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:26.599
homemade nut butters loaded with protein. There are ways to

413
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:31.039
get protein, and also protein for men as they get

414
00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:34.279
older is important because you do want to maintain your

415
00:22:34.359 --> 00:22:37.480
muscle tone. I understand that, and it is true. But

416
00:22:37.640 --> 00:22:40.359
as a general rule, what a lot of people have

417
00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:42.279
the problems in their diet is not that they're not

418
00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:46.240
getting enough protein, is they're not getting enough fiber. And

419
00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:48.440
that's one of the problems I have with the keto diet.

420
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:51.200
I had a woman in who I was working with

421
00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:54.920
who lives in New Zealand, pre diabetic. Her doctor put

422
00:22:54.920 --> 00:22:57.960
her on the keto diet. She felt miserable, had no energy,

423
00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:02.519
and was chronically constipated. She's started eating oatmeal for breakfast,

424
00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:06.720
with fruit, nuts, seeds, lots of other grains and stuff.

425
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:10.279
Guess what, her but sugar went down, no longer constipated,

426
00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:14.240
started losing weight, felt much better. It's all. There is

427
00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:17.519
no one solution for anybody. However, I will tell you

428
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.599
I've done the Keto diet many times.

429
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:21.519
I didn't.

430
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:24.400
One was known as the Atkins diet. Yeah, man, many

431
00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:28.000
years ago, and you're old enough to know that. Yes, Okay, Now,

432
00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:30.359
I'm not a fan of it because I think it's

433
00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:34.119
hard on the kidneys and I think you wind up

434
00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:37.599
eating a lot of unhealthy foods in the name of

435
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:40.640
saying it's you know, protein only. Like for example, when

436
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:44.319
I had a keto diet, bacon was my friend, you know,

437
00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:47.680
And I'm sorry. Bacon's delicious. I love it, you know,

438
00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:50.720
as much as anybody. But eating a lot of nothing

439
00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.559
but bacon is not good for you. I'm sorry, and

440
00:23:55.160 --> 00:23:58.279
it just those are my opinions. I'm not a doctor,

441
00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:00.920
but I've worked with many people and I know what

442
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:03.160
I have the experience, and I know what I have seen,

443
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.039
and I mean there are other benefits as well, Like

444
00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:10.759
since the day I turned vegetarian, I have been sick

445
00:24:10.839 --> 00:24:13.960
one time in twelve years. Wow. That and that was

446
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:17.200
and that was for three days, including COVID. My wife

447
00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:20.599
caught COVID in the airport, brought it home into the house.

448
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.359
And yes, I had had the vaccine at the time,

449
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:26.799
but and for two days I felt like I was

450
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:29.680
only seventy five percent, but I still did my walking

451
00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:31.119
and my body threw it off.

452
00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:34.160
Well, and that's amazing, and I want to get onto actually,

453
00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:37.880
because you have written what now six books is a

454
00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:38.960
five or six books?

455
00:24:39.319 --> 00:24:39.640
Seven?

456
00:24:39.960 --> 00:24:40.640
Seven books?

457
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.599
Okay, and well many many books, but seven in the

458
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:48.079
series the Way of Excellence, And you've developed this whole

459
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:49.680
concept of the Way of Excellence.

460
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.640
And as I've as I've looked at it and printed

461
00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:56.880
it out, it's just like, holy, yeah, that's what I

462
00:24:56.920 --> 00:25:00.119
have in front of me right now. It's like, know,

463
00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:03.160
this has to be an attorney or an accountant that

464
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:05.079
did this, because that's.

465
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:10.079
It was very anal's very very Let's look at the color.

466
00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:11.759
Everything's color coded everymore.

467
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:12.039
I know.

468
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:15.279
Yeah, I was first looking at it and I'm thinking, Okay,

469
00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:18.079
this guy is an attorney or an accountant or something.

470
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:19.440
He is definitely there.

471
00:25:20.279 --> 00:25:25.000
But but you you created this why because based on

472
00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:29.079
your experience you felt like this then could help other people.

473
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:34.400
Yes, okay, I'm a systems thinker. My entire career has

474
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:38.200
been both as a CPA and a lawyer. How do

475
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:41.240
you take complicated things and make them simple as opposed

476
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.920
to my wife? It does the exact opposite. She takes complicated,

477
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:47.599
takes simple things that makes them complicated. That's okay, that's

478
00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:50.920
so we make a good manage. But I've been paid

479
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:54.119
to make complicated things simple. So I sat there as

480
00:25:54.119 --> 00:25:57.160
I was doing this, and you're doing all this of

481
00:25:57.279 --> 00:25:59.799
something happens when you do all this walking that I did.

482
00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:03.400
You meet some very interesting people. And would you care

483
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:06.039
to guess who the most interesting person you meet is

484
00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:10.680
on your journey? Yourself? Yes, yourself. So I did a

485
00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:14.559
lot of thinking, and I said, you know, I've been

486
00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:18.200
a perfectionist. I was a three hundred and sixty seven

487
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:23.519
pound perfectionist. I mean, that's not an oxymorn little hypocritical there.

488
00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:26.279
I used to complain that people weren't as perfect as me.

489
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:29.720
All I was walking around at three hundred sixty seven pounds.

490
00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:32.759
Some mus talk about perfection for a minute. Because you,

491
00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:35.759
as you mentioned at the beginning, you're Jewish.

492
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:37.720
I you know, I'm Christian.

493
00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:42.000
And I've looked at this concept of perfectionism, and particularly

494
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:44.880
as it is in the Bible, and realize that it

495
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:49.839
has been mistranslated terribly, and because of that, we have

496
00:26:49.960 --> 00:26:52.119
developed this concept of perfectionism.

497
00:26:52.200 --> 00:26:57.519
But you. You probably have never done that. So I agree.

498
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:00.559
The goal is not perfection, The goal is excellent. So

499
00:27:01.400 --> 00:27:04.480
how do other people who may not be of a

500
00:27:04.519 --> 00:27:09.000
particular faith develop this concept of perfectionism and that we

501
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:10.079
have to be perfect?

502
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:12.559
I think we're taught that from a minute we're born.

503
00:27:13.079 --> 00:27:16.319
You know, every time we do something right, we're praised.

504
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:19.079
Every time we do something wrong, we're punished or not

505
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:23.680
praised or scolded or whatever. That's what we're tied and

506
00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:27.720
instead wise parents, you know, I watch a lot of

507
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:32.119
different parenting styles. Wise parents let their kids fail. Yeah,

508
00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.720
they let them mess up because that's how they learn.

509
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:40.960
You know. You know, my same older brother when he

510
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:43.799
had his son, first son, I remember he had him

511
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:46.519
climbing a wall or something like that, and I said,

512
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:48.640
be sure you want to do that? He might fall off.

513
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:50.720
He says, good if he falls off, and learn and

514
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:56.119
learn how not to fall off. So mistakes, mistakes or

515
00:27:56.160 --> 00:28:00.680
proof that you're trying. Yeah, I said, before you're gonna

516
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:05.680
mess up, you know, realize that love yourself anyway.

517
00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:08.319
Well, and so you've you've you've got this whole thing.

518
00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:10.039
I've got this in front of me, the way of you,

519
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.640
and I love how you've done this circle and you've

520
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:17.079
got the body, the spirit, and the mind. And yes,

521
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:21.559
and you talk about finding you, becoming you, and optimizing you.

522
00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:23.279
And I want to get into this for a minute,

523
00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:27.880
because you talk about really bringing the mind, the body,

524
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:32.279
the spirit together, integrating them together, and how that becomes

525
00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:35.279
the real key to wholeness and peace. Could you share

526
00:28:35.319 --> 00:28:39.640
with the audience that concept and in each one of

527
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:42.359
those when we get you've already talked about the body

528
00:28:42.400 --> 00:28:45.759
obviously and really being as healthy as you possibly can.

529
00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:48.200
But let's get into the spirit and let's get into

530
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:51.599
the mind. Okay, First of all, here's the circle again.

531
00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:56.279
Yeah, you notice it's like the typical Chinese except it's

532
00:28:56.359 --> 00:28:59.960
three parts instead of two. Right, The red is the mind,

533
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:02.319
the blue is the body, the green is the spirit.

534
00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:05.759
You notice there's a little person in the middle of

535
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:08.519
the thing. That's where you want to be. Your goal

536
00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:11.240
is to be balanced in the middle of all these things. Now,

537
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:14.839
if you look inside the mind, there's a yin yang

538
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:18.319
that's part blue and part green. That's body and spirit.

539
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:21.519
You look in the blue, there's a sorry, there's a

540
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:26.400
red and green in yng that's part mind and spirit.

541
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:29.720
And you look at the spirit. It's blue and red.

542
00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:34.920
That's body and mind. That's because everything works together. Here's

543
00:29:34.920 --> 00:29:38.960
how it works. Your mind feeds your body and your spirit.

544
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:42.279
Your body feeds your mind and your spirit. Your spirit

545
00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:47.079
feeds your mind and your body. They're all connected. See.

546
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:50.680
My problem was I was out of whack. I was

547
00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:54.920
all mind. My profession was all mind, sitting at a

548
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:58.799
desk thinking, thinking, thinking, you know, creating, creating, and I

549
00:29:58.839 --> 00:30:02.319
was totally neglecting my and it was affecting my spirit.

550
00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:05.799
It was making me miserable. Then when I started getting

551
00:30:05.799 --> 00:30:08.720
my body together, I actually became out of whack with

552
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.720
my mind and my spirit. I exceeded it, you know,

553
00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:14.000
I found it more difficult to want to focus on

554
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:15.880
my work. I didn't want to work, you know, I

555
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:19.119
was having too much fun doing these other things. And

556
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:22.240
then I ultimately brought it all back into balance. And

557
00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:28.880
it's not a perfect thing. It goes back and forth, left, right, up, down, forward, backwards, sideways,

558
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:33.079
you know, all those things, but it's working on bringing

559
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:37.039
everything into balance. And what is balance? First of all,

560
00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.000
balance is not something you find. You don't go to

561
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:42.920
a class and find balance. You don't go to a

562
00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:47.400
taichi class and buying balance, you create balance. I heard

563
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:50.720
a definition many years ago that I've incorporated into my work.

564
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:56.880
Balance is identifying what's deficient and increasing it, identifying what's

565
00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:58.279
excessive and decreasing it.

566
00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:01.319
Okay, so you're talking about the body, and we've got

567
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.359
that whole part in factory, spent most of the time

568
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:06.559
on that. Let's let's look at the spirit in the mind.

569
00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:09.319
And you know, we talk about mind, mindfulness and so forth.

570
00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:10.599
Spirit.

571
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:13.880
What you know, I think so many people get so

572
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:17.359
confused when we start talking about spirit and so on

573
00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:18.119
and so forth.

574
00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:21.759
Yes, that's because it's it's amorphless. It's not. It's not.

575
00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:23.400
I mean, you can't look at it and go, that's

576
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:27.599
the spirit, right it to me, it's your I think

577
00:31:27.599 --> 00:31:33.000
of it as my energy. Okay, okay, I have abundant energy.

578
00:31:33.079 --> 00:31:36.240
It is two thirty eight in the morning right now,

579
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:39.119
and I'm ready to roll. You know, most of the

580
00:31:39.160 --> 00:31:41.920
world where I'm at is sleeping right now, and that's fine,

581
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:44.000
nothing wrong with that. But I've made it a habit

582
00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:46.119
that I like to say, I want to be up

583
00:31:46.119 --> 00:31:49.720
conquering the world while everyone else is sleeping. Now, it's

584
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:53.079
your energy. Think of it that way. That makes it easier.

585
00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:55.400
Do you have energy to do what you want to

586
00:31:55.440 --> 00:32:00.000
do or are you walking around? You know all the time?

587
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:05.079
That is why I have identified along the way. I've

588
00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:09.519
taken notes all along the way. Every mistake you could make,

589
00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:12.519
I've made it ten times, if not more. But as

590
00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:15.799
I slowly figured out things that work for me, those

591
00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:20.319
were the things that I incorporated. Now I want to

592
00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:24.079
clarify right now, people do not necessarily have to do

593
00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:29.920
what I do. The world already has one Stanley, doesn't

594
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:35.240
need another one. But the world does need the best you.

595
00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:39.200
And okay, you talked about the way of you. I

596
00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:43.119
break this whole journey down into three parts. First part

597
00:32:43.160 --> 00:32:46.640
is finding you. When I Fibruary first, two thousand and nine,

598
00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:49.240
when I said enough is enough and I embarked on

599
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:53.440
this journey, I was finding myself. Then over the next

600
00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:59.559
ten years or so, I became myself. I changed my identity.

601
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:03.960
I went from this to this. These are the same people,

602
00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:07.240
but they are not the same people.

603
00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:09.920
Right, And folks, he's showing a picture of himself when

604
00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:15.079
he was tremendously overweight, and now that he's then yeah, and.

605
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:20.400
So I became a new person. I became myself. Now

606
00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:23.759
I am in that third phase. I call it optimized

607
00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:27.759
Stanley in my notes. I've got it's doing it optimized Stanley.

608
00:33:27.799 --> 00:33:30.079
It's the project. How do I take where I am

609
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:33.039
at and how do I optimize it? How do I

610
00:33:33.079 --> 00:33:36.960
make it even better? Because that is the beauty of excellence.

611
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:40.359
No matter how good you are, there's always a level higher,

612
00:33:40.559 --> 00:33:44.759
there's always a level deeper. You can always work toward

613
00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:47.640
getting better. But there's one thing I want to introduce

614
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:50.920
into here. Don't be a perfectionist. Be what I call

615
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.799
a good enoughist. You realize that good enough is good enough,

616
00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:57.680
doesn't mean you can't get better, doesn't mean you shouldn't

617
00:33:57.680 --> 00:34:01.359
try to get better. But if you're doing good enough wonderful.

618
00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:06.880
Am appreciate that, Be happy with that, be satisfied with that.

619
00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:09.079
And if the people around you are being good enough,

620
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:11.679
cut them some slack too. Amen.

621
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:14.840
So as we you know what, We could go on

622
00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:16.880
and on and on, and we haven't even touched what

623
00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:19.920
I was originally wanting to talk to you about. But

624
00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:23.480
time is running out for us. Let me ask you this,

625
00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:28.360
if if you could really just share one or two

626
00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:32.480
thoughts that you feel would be really important for people

627
00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:35.719
who are listening to think about that might motivate them.

628
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:40.480
Okay, what would that be? Okay, right here, This experience

629
00:34:41.079 --> 00:34:43.159
of what I've done and what I continue to do

630
00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:45.920
taught me to It taught me one thing. It made

631
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:48.679
me realize another thing. It taught me that I am

632
00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:51.360
more powerful than I ever imagined. And the thing that

633
00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:54.800
made me realize is that if I am more powerful

634
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:58.519
than I ever imagined, so is everybody else. I am

635
00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:01.960
no more powerful than you. You're no more powerful than me.

636
00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:04.360
I have no more special than you. You are no

637
00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:08.159
more special than me. We are all special, each and

638
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:11.840
every one of us. You are more powerful than you

639
00:35:12.199 --> 00:35:16.360
ever imagine. Believe it, know it, feel it. And then

640
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:19.119
once you realize that you're more powerful than you ever imagine,

641
00:35:19.239 --> 00:35:21.519
it becomes a question of what are you going to

642
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:23.519
do with that knowledge? Are you going to sit on

643
00:35:23.559 --> 00:35:26.280
your butt or are you going to take action? Amen?

644
00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:30.320
Oh well that's great, that's a great message. So Stanley,

645
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:32.559
how do people find you? Because obviously you've got a

646
00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:36.239
number of books that they're able to download. Again, folks,

647
00:35:36.719 --> 00:35:38.840
I have to tell you, looking at what he has

648
00:35:38.920 --> 00:35:41.119
on his website, I've printed a bunch of it out.

649
00:35:41.239 --> 00:35:43.320
It's amazing when you.

650
00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:47.039
Talk about the Way of Excellence dot com is where

651
00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:50.000
we go the Way of Excellence dot com and there

652
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:52.920
is so much information there as far as how to

653
00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:56.119
literally transform our lives.

654
00:35:56.679 --> 00:35:57.800
So that's great.

655
00:35:57.880 --> 00:36:00.760
And are all that is free? I was going to

656
00:36:00.840 --> 00:36:02.800
say all the books are free, aren't they?

657
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:06.679
Yes, because it is my way of giving back. Look,

658
00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:09.000
I have people who work with me privately, and if

659
00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:11.679
people want to work with me privately, that's wonderful. But

660
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:15.039
that costs money. Not everyone has money, Not everyone wants

661
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:17.960
to spend money. But I want to give back to

662
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.320
people because don't get me wrong, I love money, but

663
00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:24.920
the mission is more important than the money sometimes. Yes,

664
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:28.400
what is important is that we as individuals get our

665
00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:33.199
lives together so that we can collectively get our lives together.

666
00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:36.400
We can collectively get our communities together, we can collectively

667
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:39.159
get our countries together, we can get our world together.

668
00:36:39.400 --> 00:36:42.599
Because as crazy and as mixed up as this world

669
00:36:42.679 --> 00:36:47.400
is right now, it is an incredible place. Would if

670
00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:51.079
we would just wake up realize that and act upon it.

671
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:54.239
Yes, well, Stanley, thank you so much. This has been

672
00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:58.000
amazing and look forward to you walk with you after

673
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.840
we finished this recording for it. But anyway, folks, thank

674
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:04.800
you for listening. I hope you'd enjoy this, and if

675
00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:06.639
I can, I'm going to get Stanley back on the

676
00:37:06.679 --> 00:37:09.360
show again and we're going to actually get into the

677
00:37:09.480 --> 00:37:13.199
nuts and bolts of what he really has been writing about.

678
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:16.280
So anyway, thanks for listening. This is doctor Doug saying

679
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:17.480
I'm mistay.

680
00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:21.360
Thank you.