Be the Strong Man a Woman Wants

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This program is designed to provide general
information with regards to the subject matters covered.

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This information is given with the understanding
that neither the hosts, guests,

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sponsors, or station are engaged in
rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal, counseling, professional service,
or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying
or trying any suggested ideas. You know,

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one of the biggest challenges that I
think many people face is relationships.

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And there are a lot of different
dilemmas that occur in a relationship that can

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cost challenges. One of those that
we don't think about very often is the

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fact that we as men sometimes basically
say, hey, Henny, what is

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it that you want? What is
it that you want, and never really

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take that leadership role that we should
be and is really what she wants?

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And I'm really happy to have Elliott
Katz on the show today. He's written

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a couple of books. One is
Being the Strong Man and Woman Wants and

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the other one is How to Get
Your Men to Wear the Pants And it's

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fascinating. Again, it's a very
specific segment of relationships, but it's a

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segment that Elliott has really found exists
more than we think and has been able

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to help relationships in helping those men
to start taking the leadership role in a

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way that's kind, that's loving and
understanding that at the same time taking that

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leadership role that their wives so desperately
wish that they would. So I hope

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you enjoy this. I think you
will and enjoy the show. At the

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end of the day, it's not
about what you have or even what you've

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accomplished. It's about what you've done
with those accomplishments. It's about who you've

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lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, Welcome to inspire.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

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of others and to inspire you to
do the same. Oh yeah, thanks

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for joining us. How are you
doing. I'm doing great. Thank you

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for having me. Hey, it's
really an interesting topic that you've written about,

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and I'm fascinated and I think it's
going to be really interesting for the

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audience. So I'm aware of two
books that you've written. Can you share

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what they are and how did you
come to write the books? Okay,

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very god, there's two books.
My first one. I'll show it to

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you. Solled being the strong man
and woman wants timeless wisdom on being a

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man, and that book, like
a lot of books of this type,

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is my own journey. I was
married, then I got divorced, and

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like a lot of people, at
first, I blamed the other person.

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And then I came to the point
of asking myself, what do I have

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to learn from all this? And
I really set out to learn what does

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it mean to be a man in
a relationship? And I learned a lot

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of things. You know. At
first, I spoke to other men that

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we're all confused. I read books
on relafelationship. They didn't really say much

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to me. But then I looked
at the timeless wisdom that over the centuries

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men have written for other men about
being a man in a relationship, and

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it really blew me away because it
coincided with what I heard women complain is

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lacking men today. They don't show
leadership, they don't make decisions, they

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don't take responsibility. That you know, it's so interesting that men hear all

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these messages. Let's be a nice
guy, don't be controlling, let her

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make all the decisions, just to
whatever she wants she'll be happy. Doesn't

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work there. Women want to be
with the man who makes them feel safe

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and protected, and when they always
have to tell a man what to do,

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as one woman said to me,
it makes her feel like he's a

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child and she's his mother, and
she doesn't want to be his mother,

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So really, go ahead. In
the next book he wrote was okay,

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what how to Get your man to
wear the pants? Right? Exactly?

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So a lot of women read this
one and said, well, how do

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I get my man to start taking
charge? I'm tired of always telling him

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what to do. I'm tired of
when I ask him for his input on

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a decision, he doesn't say anything. He just waits for me to do

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everything. So this book isn't in
a response to that. It's called how

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to get your man to wear the
pants so you don't have to inspiring him

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to make more decisions, take the
lead and stop leaving it all to you.

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So it's really so women are frustrated
with men who won't take the lead

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on anything, won't take charge of
anything, that won't make a decision.

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So I explained to the women in
this book, is that problem is men

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really don't know they're supposed to do. They really don't know that you want

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them to. So it's a matter
of how you talk to them and make

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them not in a critical way,
but in a way that you're inspiring them

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and you may make them make them, you make them realize that you want

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them to do this to make you
happy. And Okay, So here's my

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question, all right, because with
my radio show, I've interviewed a lot

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of ladies who have been abused,
who have been abused, who have been

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in those codependent relationships where yes,
their man has taken charge to a point

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that it's not a comfortable and a
happy relationship for them. So have you

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had any pushback on that relative to
the fact that is it a possibility that

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what you're talking about as far as
strong man ends up going a little bit

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too far. I do a lot
of personality analysis and so forth, and

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what I've found is a lot of
times what is their strength, if taken

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too far, becomes their weakness.
So what's been your experience. Have you

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had pushback on that? And what
are your thoughts about what's the differentiation between

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what you're talking about versus what a
lot of these women experience from an abusive

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relationship. Okay, that's a great
question. I'm really talking about different extremes.

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You know, a man, we're
talking about men who don't want to

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make any decisions, who don't I
don't want to be controlling, so I'll

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just let her decide everything. I'll
just do whatever she tells me to do,

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and she's would be happy. And
and that's that's the other that's not

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being controlling at all. That So
if you step forward and make a decision,

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you see a problem and you say, here, I'll handle you know,

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I'll take care of this problem,
You're you're making your wife happy.

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So the other extreme, as ah, where people are in controlling relationships,

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that's horrible. And and you know, it's interesting you ask that question because

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I have had pushback from a couple
of women who really didn't understand what I

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was talking about, who were in
controlling relationships. And it's like it sort

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of triggers, you know, the
the trauma of that experience. But when

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when they when I explain to them, that's not what we're talking about.

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You know, a strong man isn't
controlling as strong you know, and the

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fact the abusive man is really weak. He he's not. He's not he's

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not something being strong, that's not
thinking about the best interests of your family.

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I'm talking about a man who shows, who takes charge because he cares

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about his family. He wants to
take responsibility for what's going on in his

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family and not just leave every problem, solving every problem to his wife.

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That's what we're talking about here.
We're not talking about some control tyrant,

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God forbid. I feel sorry for
women who are in those situations. And

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that's not all what we're talking about. We're talking about the other extreme,

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where a man makes no decisions.
Okay, good, and I'm glad you

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clarify that, because I think that's
important for the audience to get right up

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front. So here's the question,
as you've looked at this overall historically,

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what came about that men started getting
to the point that they did become children,

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that they became babies that they I
mean, when you know, in

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relationships, as I talk about relationships, it's like, okay, you know

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what, it's great to be independent, but it's great to be able to

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come together and to support each other
in achieving the purposes and goals that you

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want. Well, in that particular
case, there are times that I might

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ask, what is it that you
want? You know, what's important to

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you? And yet from what you're
saying, that can be taken a little

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bit too far, to the point
where you don't take charge or ask those

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questions at all. But what's the
distinction between being able to support and you

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know, really being aware of what
that woman really wants and needs versus just

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taking charge. Well, obviously it's
a matter of degree. A man who

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always a missus. I get comments
from women talk about feedback. I get

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comments from women who say, my
husband, you know, makes no decision,

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will never take charge of anything.
He waits for me to tell him

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everything what to do, and she's
she's frustrated with that. I've talked to

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women who said they divorced our husbands
for those reasons because I always have to

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tell them what to do. So
obviously that's extreme. You have to avoid

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it, really, and I talked
about it in the first book. It's

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really in the middle. You know, there's some things a woman is good

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at and she should decide that.
There's some things a man is good at

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and he should decide. But as
I tell men, not everything is don't

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just decide well, everything there needs
to be decided something that woman should decide.

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It's really a balance. Is there's
something you know, So how does

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a man, how does a man
ask questions? How do they communicate in

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a way that they discover that this
is what their wife wants Because obviously you

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get a lot of wives that are
so strong that they do want to be

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in charge. So when you have
the situation where the woman does not want

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to have to be in charge and
wants their men to make some decisions,

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what type of communication do you need
to have and how does that come about

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to where you start to have that
type of understanding that that is the circumstances.

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Well, you have to use your
judgment. It's interesting that you say

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women are strong and independence today,
and they are. But I've had a

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lot of women say to me,
you know, I may be professional,

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I have my own practice, I
have my own business, but when I'm

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with a man, I want to
feel like a woman. I want them

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to take charge, like I said, not a controlling tyrant, but she

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doesn't want to have to tell him
what's do. And you know the other

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part about you know when a woman
the one thing I coach ment that it's

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it's we laugh about it. So
it's a lot of women will ask men

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like what should I do about this? What should we do about that?

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And the man he says, you
know the question, it's not really important

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to me. Whatever she wants is
fine, And I tell him, well,

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she asks you, she asks you
what you want. She wants your

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input because she wants her input.
She's asking for her input because she wants

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it. And I tell I tell
women, you know, if I tell

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men, don't ever say whatever you
want. You decide. If she's asking

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you for your opinion, I have
an opinion. So I tell women,

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if he says, whatever you want, you decide, just say. What

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I want is to know what you
want. You know, it makes a

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woman feel safe and protected. I
one while I was coaching so's we said,

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like, she asked me all these
questions. They really don't matter to

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me. So I said, it
doesn't matter. If she asked for your

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opinion, give it. And if
it doesn't matter to you, then it's

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easy. Just give me anything.
And she said to him it made her

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feel safe and protected. That's what
she wants. It makes her feel safe

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and protected. So you know what
I'm saying, we're not talking about the

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other extreme and some tyrants abuse of
God forbid, like you know, a

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woman with that kind of man,
run as fast as you can. But

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but we're talking about the others.
Like so many men today, they really

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think if I just do whatever she
wants, she should be happy. Why

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isn't she happy? Why is she
divorcing me? I'm such a great guy.

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I'm doing whatever she wants. That's
not what she wants. Okay,

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So you know, you talk about
asking my opinion. I have a very

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strong personality, and as I've done
my own you know, evaluation and so

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forth, one of one of the
things that comes across is that often saying

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something can create a sense of criticism
to the other person. And I've learned

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that I have to ask this question, do you want me to listen?

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Or do you want my opinion?
And I think that I don't know,

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what are your thoughts on that?
Do you think that's a valuable thing for

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a husband to be able to say, is do you really want my opinion

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or do you just want me to
listen? And then they can say,

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yes, I really want your opinion, and then it's a different story.

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No, I agree with you.
I agree with if she just wants you

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to listen, sometimes that's what she
wants. But sometimes she wants your opinion,

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she wants your advice, she wants
you to solve the problem. Sometimes,

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as you say, sometimes she wants
you to listen. And it's a

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good idea to clarify. You know, you do you want me to take

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truge to solve this problem for you, or you just want me to listen.

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Okay. So with the first book
being a Strong Man, that's really

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for the man. Okay. The
next book, you know, Get Your

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Man to Wear the Pants is really
for the women. So you have you

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found that men really struggle, even
after reading your book, that they really

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struggle with being the individual that their
spouse or their partner really is looking for.

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And thus women need to figure out
how to get their men to take

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charge more. How does that all
work? Okay, that's a great question.

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You know what. I haven't had
a man say he struggles with it.

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What the common reaction that I've had
is men will say, I didn't

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know this. Why didn't someone tell
me this. I was married thirty two

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years, I didn't know this.
I didn't know. I thought if I

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just did whatever she wants, she'd
be happy. You know. Common response

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is if I had known this when
I was married, I probably wouldn't be

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divorced today. It's it's really it's
it's so fascinating because so much of the

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media, so much television, men
are just not aren't taught. I mean,

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there's a lot of other reasons.
You know, a lot of boys

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grow up in you know, divorce
families. They don't really have a strong

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male role model. You know,
there's a lot of reasons today that men

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weren't taught with these manly traits like
take charge, don't leave it all to

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your wife. She wants you to
step forward and handle those situations. And

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I tell men, a man will
say to me, my wife tells me

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I don't do enough at home,
But I whenever I come home, I

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ask her what she wants me to
do, and I'm going non stop.

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I'm washing the dishes, doing laundry, giving the kids bath, changing our

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diapers. How could you say I'm
not doing enough? So I explain to

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them, well, it's good to
help, especially when you have little kids.

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It's a lot of work. But
if we just come home and do

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you ask her what to do when
you do whatever she wants. That's being

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a mother's helper, that's not being
a husband and a father. Yes,

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help her. There's a lot of
work, like I said, especially when

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you have little kids. But be
aware of what's going on in your family,

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Be aware what's going on in your
home. Say hey, I see

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a problem here. Let me take
charge of dealing with it. Let me

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find a solution, let me implement. And then you know, maybe you

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should consult with her if you find
a solution, to ask her for her

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input, or maybe she just wants
you to handle it that makes her happy,

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because otherwise you're leaving the burden of
finding solutions solve these problems on her.

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And she resents that that's what she
res. It's hard work to like,

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there's a problem, Well I have
to find a solution. Like you

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stuff where you see a problem with
your kid and he's some of me said,

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hey, I think this is a
solution. This is what we need

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to do to help little Johnny here. Oh, you're taking the burden off

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me to defining solving that problem.
That makes her happy. Well, and

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this sounds a little bit patriarchal and
nature historically, and and again, you

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know, I warned you I was
going to ask some of these questions.

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But but you know, you look
historically at the role of women, and

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there's no question that from a perspective
of a man, it's wonderful to have

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a woman that cares and loves and
all of that type of thing. To

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a certain point, historically, as
we look at patriarchal type of situation that

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has come down through history, I
think that that's part of what created the

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woman's movement to where they're actually,
you know, going against that because they

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feel like they don't have a voice
at all. How does that work in

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your mind? Well, okay,
so patriarchal, you know, it's a

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great it's a great way. Is
what is patriarchal? It means being a

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leader of your family. And unfortunately, patriarchal, you know, patriarchy has

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acquired negative connotations in the women's movement. It's not about, like I said,

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I've been being controlling tyrant. It's
really about being a leader. And

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I'll tell you what. One of
the books I read that struck me was

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Doctor Spock, doctor Benjamin Spock.
He says, you want to have a

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good relation with your wife and being
good father to your children. You have

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to be leader of and a role
model to your children. And I'll tell

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you on my own journey. When
I read that, I said, well,

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I wasn't a leader like I hear. I was married for ten years.

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I didn't even know I was supposed
to be. So you know,

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you know when it's not like we
said before, it's not about being controlling.

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It's not about being a dictator of
your family. It's really about showing

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your share of leadership. It's not
about you know, making every decision.

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It's about men not making no decisions, like, step forward, make some

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decisions. Stop leaving it all on
her. That's really what it is.

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It's it's taking responsibility. It's not
you know, ordering people around. It's

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like there's a problem here. It's
stepping forward and dealing with it and not

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stepping back and waiting for your wife
to do it and having her resent you.

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All right, And as you talk
about it, and I loved what

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you mentioned about leadership because as I've
worked with you know, different leaders and

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small companies and so forth, it's
interesting to observe that if the leadership isn't

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there, I mean, the culture
of a company pretty much is dependent on

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the leadership qualities of the leaders,
the manager, whatever you want to call

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it, and oftentimes they have no
clue and her they're thus creating a very

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different culture. It sounds to me
like you're really kind of talking about the

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same thing that within the culture of
a relationship, of marriage and so forth,

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that if the man does not understand
what true leadership is, that then

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that creates the issues. You're exactly
right, and I mean, it's not

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just a matter of understanding what leadership
is. It's understanding that you have a

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role to show your share of leadership
in the family. Like I said,

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I've coached men and they said I
was married, and I didn't know that.

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I didn't know this. I thought, if I just do whatever she

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wants, she should be happy.
It's and really a family needs a leader.

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And often you see when there is
no leaders a family just flounders.

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And the man thinks, well,
you know, I thought, I'm doing

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what I'm supposed to do. Just
tell me what to do, I'll do

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I really, so many men have
said to me, I just do whatever

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she says. Why isn't she happy? Because she wants you to show your

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share of leadership. So one of
the things that we talked about a lot

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on the show is this concept of
being aware and that whatever topic we're talking

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about that has to do with personal
development and self help, those types of

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things. The biggest challenge is that
some are not aware of all of those

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things imprints, you know, beliefs, so on and so forth that are

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affecting their lives in a negative way. How do you help these men to

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become aware that this might be the
issue. What are the signs that they

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can pick up on that all of
a sudden they can go, Okay,

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I got it. This is my
problem because I'm not really being the leader

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of this home. Well, it's
what I just said. When they say

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I'll they just do whatever their wives
tell them. But the thing is I

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teach them, like how to become
a leader. It's okay, it's about

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being a dictator. Like we said, it's be aware what's going on in

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your home. You see a problem, okay, and if nobody's dealing with

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it, that's if you don't like
if your wife is dealing with it,

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don't say, oh, I'm going
to show I'm the leader. We're going

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to do things differently now. If
she's handling it and she's handling. Find

294
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is look for situations that are not
being dealt with, Step forward and like,

295
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:25.279
okay, find a solution. Look
on the internet. You know,

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00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:27.400
there's so much research on the internet. You could find a solution to the

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00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:30.839
problem. Step forward and say,
Okay, I see this problem. I

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think this is a solution. What
do you think? And then and then

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she gives you she can give you
her feedback. It's like, these are

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the steps. And then just keep
doing that. You know at first she

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might be in be in disbelief because
you've never done this before. Just keep

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00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:49.279
doing it. Just look for problems, solve them. Like I said,

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sometimes it's a problem that she just
might want you to deal with. Bond

304
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your own and not bother her with
it. Step forward to deal with it.

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You'll see it makes a big difference. You know, on my own

306
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journey and with the men I've coached, you think, is this really going

307
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to make a difference. It makes
a big difference because it makes the woman

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feel safe and protected. And as
much as women are strong and independent than

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the outside world, when they're with
a man, they want to feel safe

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and protected. And this is one
of the ways to achieve that. It's

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you know, at first, like
I said, I didn't believe. I

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didn't think it would make a difference. It makes a big difference. Okay.

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So here I am in a relationship
okay and not going well, and

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you know there's some challenges. What
are those key indicators. What are the

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indications that I can look for that
will tell me that, oh, okay,

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I am not being the leader that
I need to be. How do

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you determine that or what are some
of the key indicators that a man can

318
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see in that relationship that at least
is going to trigger the thought of oh,

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okay, you know, I need
to be aware of the fact that

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maybe I'm not being the type of
leader in this home right that I need

321
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to be. You know, It's
it's not hard to see because really,

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like I said, a lot of
men aren't even aware of it. So

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when I say to them, you
know, you know, they'll say to

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me, they're just doing whatever their
wives tell them, and they really think

325
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this is what their wives want.
You know, I asked them, like,

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do you know what's going on at
home? Are you dealing with the

327
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problems? Are you Are you just
doing whatever your wife tells you. It's

328
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it makes such a big difference.
I mean, I you know, just

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so many men have said to me, like I said to earlier, I

330
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didn't know this. No one ever
told me this before. Why didn't somebody

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tell me this? It's such a
because all the media is making you know,

332
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we talk about toxic masculinit I don't
want to be toxic. I don't

333
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want to be controlling. I don't
want to be a good man. I

334
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want to be a good husband.
I want my wife to be happy.

335
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Why isn't she happy? Step forward? Be aware that you're just letting just

336
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do it. You know a lot
of men think, well, if I

337
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just do whatever she wants, then
when I need something from her, then

338
00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:03.400
she'll do it for me. Well, you know, if she's disrespectful to

339
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you, if she's critical of you, if she you know, just has

340
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contempt for you, if she resents
you she has no respect for you,

341
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these are signs she just sees you
as a man who's not strong enough to

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protect her and make her feel safe
and protected. These, you know,

343
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these are things that you throughout history
men were taught, and in this generation

344
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we seem to have lost it.
That's really the main thing I'm trying to

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say I think there's really nothing new
in my book. If you read you

346
00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.440
read it, it's like this person
said this two hundred years ago, or

347
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this person said this a thousand years
ago. This is what men are taught.

348
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But in this generation we seem to
have lost it for some reason,

349
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for lots of reasons. And the
interesting thing is it doesn't come naturally to

350
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men. Like the first book,
being The Strong Man and Woman Once,

351
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has been translated into twenty four languages
around the world, including places where you

352
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think men are all mato, like
Brazil in Saudi Arabia. Men have to

353
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learn this. It doesn't come naturally
to most men. So but in this

354
00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:06.039
generation, a lot of men weren't
taught this. That's really what I'm trying

355
00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:08.160
to do. I'm on a mission
to teach men what they used to be

356
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taught and bring peace in marriages.
Okay, and so you know you talk

357
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about the wife has been critical,
you know, not happy and so forth.

358
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That's one indicator. The under indicator, which may be a little bit

359
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:30.440
more difficult because now it takes some
self analysis. Is you know what I'm

360
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:33.640
always saying, well, whatever you
want or do whatever you want, and

361
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:40.680
recognizing that that's not really healthy,
But how do you have that conversation with

362
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:45.079
your spouse? Let's go from the
man first. How do you go from

363
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the man being able to have that
conversation with his spouse saying, Okay,

364
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what's going on here and how do
I need to be better and how do

365
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I need to do that? That
gets into a really important aspect of communication

366
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that not every couple is able to
have, especially if there's tension going on.

367
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Right, that's a great question.
So you know, as I'm sure

368
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you know, men and women speak
different languages. So when a woman complains,

369
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oh, my husband's not doing enough, he thinks he's doing a lot,

370
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but he what she really means is
he's not showing his share of leadership.

371
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And what I tell men is like
read the book, just do it.

372
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Don't talk to your wife with don't
tell her what you're going to do.

373
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Just change yourself. And because it's
not about having a conversation with her,

374
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you know, I'm going to be
more of a leader. Just be

375
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more of a leader. Start changing
yourself and be aware what's going on.

376
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Talk to your kids, talk to
your wife, open your eyes, look

377
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around your house, see what needs
to be done, and do things and

378
00:25:45.160 --> 00:25:48.119
like wow, wow, you know, just think in business, you know,

379
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:52.400
talking about business leaders who do we
admire in business? Who gets promoted

380
00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:56.000
in business? People who show initiative. The employee that you have to keep

381
00:25:56.039 --> 00:25:57.279
telling him what to do all the
time, well, he stays where he

382
00:25:57.359 --> 00:26:00.039
is because he needs to be told
what to do all the time. But

383
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:03.279
the person who shows an initiative,
who goes up to the bost and says,

384
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:07.000
I see this problem over here,
I did some research, I came

385
00:26:07.079 --> 00:26:10.480
up with a solution. You want
to give me the go ahead to do

386
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:12.440
it, or even says I went
and fixed it all on my own.

387
00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:15.640
Hey that's a person. Let's promote
it. It's the same thing in a

388
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:19.240
marriage. Don't need to be told
what to do. Be aware what's going

389
00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:22.240
on. See a problem, fix
it or come up with a solution.

390
00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:26.640
Talk to your wife about it and
use your judgment to decide which is which.

391
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:32.319
And she'll be so happy because you
know, it's not about power.

392
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:34.640
It's like you're putting all this burden
of solving every problem on her. She

393
00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:40.799
didn't want that. It's like enough, you know, go ahead, Okay.

394
00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:44.960
So from the woman's perspective here,
she's living in this situation. She

395
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:48.079
really loves her husband and she really
wants this thing to work out well,

396
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:53.359
but the frustration is just building and
building and building. How do they talk

397
00:26:53.480 --> 00:27:00.480
to their husband in a way that
doesn't create the deviceive right, It actually

398
00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:06.519
creates a sense of oh, okay, I didn't understand that. Let me

399
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:10.920
see what I can do. Great
question, because that's why I wrote this

400
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:12.200
book. That's what this book is
all about it, and that's why I'm

401
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:15.839
asking the question. So you know, so like before I say so,

402
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:19.480
if you ask him for his input
and he says whatever you want to say,

403
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:22.799
what I want is to know what
you want. And I respect men

404
00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:29.640
who are decisive and can make decisions. Excuse me other situations like if he

405
00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:33.839
just comes home and you know it
does whatever you want, but you say,

406
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:38.079
you know, I really appreciate what
you do. It really helps me

407
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:41.880
a lot. But what I really
also need you to do, and I

408
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:45.359
would really appreciate a lot and would
make me really happy if you did this

409
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:48.039
is not wait for me to tell
you what to do. Just be aware

410
00:27:48.359 --> 00:27:53.119
of situations and handle on and you
know it makes me happy when you would

411
00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:56.160
say, if you would say you
see your problem, I'll handle it.

412
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:00.200
Yeah, and you handle it like
I would make me really happy. Be

413
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:03.839
And the thing is what I say
in the book, I explained to women,

414
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.759
men don't know this, don't you
see? You think he should know

415
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:11.119
this, and you're frustrated with him
because why isn't he doing this? He

416
00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:14.079
should know it, but you're the
one who could teach him to do it.

417
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:18.400
So different situations, you know.
You know, one common situation I

418
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:22.440
am complaining about is and I was
surprised too. It's like a man will

419
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:25.480
say, here, we're going on
vacation. You plan the vacation, I'll

420
00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:29.599
pay for it, and and the
woman's very frustrated with that. I would

421
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:30.759
know, well, what's wrong?
Do you plan the vacation? No,

422
00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:34.079
just say there, it would make
me happy. If you help me make

423
00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:37.920
these decisions about the vacation and suggest
some plans, it would make me happy.

424
00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:41.839
Women. Men want to make women
happy. And if you say,

425
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:45.079
if you do this, it will
make me happy. Oh, I want

426
00:28:45.119 --> 00:28:48.519
to make my wife happy, so
I will do it. And you know

427
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.000
it's as opposed to if you're critical
of Oh, you know my husband,

428
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:56.680
he's so useful, he does nothing
here. Yeah, you know, when

429
00:28:56.759 --> 00:28:59.519
you know they get They're very frustrated
because they really think he should know and

430
00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:03.519
he's not doing it, and they
get critical and insulting. And he said,

431
00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:06.599
oh, you know, my husband, he's he's not really a man.

432
00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:10.319
Really, I've I've heard those comments. He doesn't doesn't He's like a

433
00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:12.039
child. I've heard that so many
times. He's like a child. You

434
00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:15.200
know, we're in a difficult situations. You know, he waits for me

435
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:18.279
to he waits for me to handle
it. I want him to stand up,

436
00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.119
stand up for us. It's like
I'm with a child. But the

437
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:25.920
man probably think, I mean,
I believe in equality. I'll let her

438
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:30.359
handle it. Did you say he
would make me happy if you would step

439
00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:34.319
forward to handle it. It would
make me so safe and protected. So

440
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:38.519
what comes to my mind is the
love languages? Okay? And yeah,

441
00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:42.759
I can't remember them all, but
what is there? There's the seventh time

442
00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:51.359
affirmation physical. I'm not sure what
all gifts and I can. I think

443
00:29:51.400 --> 00:29:55.279
there's five, but maybe there's seven. Okay, man, is this is

444
00:29:55.319 --> 00:29:57.480
this a new level language? Because
I think a lot of times what happens

445
00:29:57.559 --> 00:30:02.559
is you say, you know,
if my love language is I love to

446
00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:04.759
give gifts, I just love to
give gifts. And on the other hand,

447
00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:12.880
their love language happens to be affirmations
or whatever that happens to be time

448
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:17.480
spent. You know, it's one
thing to give a gift, that's another

449
00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:19.759
thing to give the gift of your
time, which is an entirely different thing.

450
00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:23.880
So do you find that this is
something that you could add to that

451
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:32.319
book as far as so what what
what we call this love language that says

452
00:30:33.079 --> 00:30:37.319
be a leader because that's what I
need you to be and that's important to

453
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:38.720
me. Well, that's a good
it's a very good question. But I

454
00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:41.880
think what I say in the book
and and and you know it applies in

455
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:45.200
management and business too, is that
you have to talk to a person the

456
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:48.799
way they need to be spoken to, not the way you want to talk

457
00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:51.960
to them. Right, I'm sure
you say that because if you say,

458
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:55.640
you know, you do nothing here
at home and anything, why is she

459
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:59.039
insulting me like that? But if
you actually say to her, what is

460
00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:02.759
ask yourself what does he need to
hear? How does he need to hear

461
00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:06.160
it so that he'll be inspired and
motivated? He say, you know,

462
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:10.200
I appreciate how you did this.
I appreciate you get up early in the

463
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:12.400
morning and make breakfast for the family. But it would really help me a

464
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:15.039
lot if you would do also do
this, and it would make me really

465
00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:18.799
happy. You know. Say it
in a way is all right? In

466
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:22.400
management, you do the same thing
with employee. You don't say you're useless.

467
00:31:22.440 --> 00:31:26.079
You say, you know, I
think you need to develop these skills,

468
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:27.680
and I think you're ready for this
next project, because that would be

469
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:32.319
a really good next step for you. Right, You say in a way

470
00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:37.200
that motivates him and inspires him and
doesn't make him feel bad. And that's

471
00:31:37.559 --> 00:31:41.000
and that's what this book is about. It's like, say it in a

472
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:44.799
way that will make him feel good, you know why. You know men

473
00:31:44.839 --> 00:31:48.160
want to make women happy. Say
it in a way that it would make

474
00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:51.000
me happy if you do this.
Oh really, okay, I didn't know

475
00:31:51.039 --> 00:31:55.559
that. All right. So we're
getting in this whole area of communication,

476
00:31:55.960 --> 00:32:00.680
and you know, I think that
probably one of the biggest challenges we face

477
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:09.799
today is the inability to understand appropriate
and proper and good communication. And so

478
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:15.000
often it comes from anger, it
comes from bitterness, it comes from whatever

479
00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:20.039
that happens to be, rather than
just being able to sit down and communicate.

480
00:32:20.119 --> 00:32:24.279
So do you get into this aspect
of how does one communicate? I

481
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:31.200
was talking to a friend the other
day and it was like they reiterated what

482
00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:36.000
I said and said, I don't
understand. Could you put that in different

483
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:38.519
words? And so that's what I
did, and all of a sudden,

484
00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:43.200
it's like, Okay, now I
get that. So for me, understanding

485
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:47.880
communication is that I need to make
sure that the individual that I'm communicating with

486
00:32:49.359 --> 00:32:53.400
is able to duplicate what I said, whether it's a question or a statement.

487
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.880
Do you work with these people in
their communication skills, because to me,

488
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.240
that seems to be a very very
important aspect that a lot of people

489
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:06.279
don't have anymore. Well, I
think that's the point I was just making

490
00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:09.119
that how does this person need to
hear it? Right? A leader speaks

491
00:33:09.160 --> 00:33:14.000
to people in a way to motivate
them. Write a good leader. I

492
00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:16.960
read one quote says a good leader
gets people to do something they don't want

493
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:21.599
to do and feel good about doing
it. He speaks in an inspiring way.

494
00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:25.599
And that's really what you know.
Our natural reaction off is like to

495
00:33:25.599 --> 00:33:30.960
respond in anger, to be critical, but we have to pause and tell

496
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.759
ourselves, well, that's not going
to get us what we want. What

497
00:33:32.799 --> 00:33:37.519
we want, We want this person
to take initiative to deal with problems.

498
00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:43.720
Say it in a way. What
does he need to hear that will motivate

499
00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:46.480
him and inspire him to do what
I want him to do and feel good

500
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:51.599
about doing it. That's the question
we have to keep asking ourselves. Insulting

501
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:54.759
him, criticizing him, embarrassing him
in front of his friends, ain't gonna

502
00:33:54.759 --> 00:34:04.079
work? Leave me well, And
yeah, it does get just absolutely fascinating

503
00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:07.279
when I think about it, because
then you get into the sole concept of

504
00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:12.360
triggers. You know, for instance, you have someone who happens to be

505
00:34:12.559 --> 00:34:17.519
more left brain more you know,
extrovertish left brain or introvertish left brain.

506
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:24.360
When someone says something to them,
the difficulty for them is that oftentimes they

507
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:30.000
take it as criticism. Now it's
their problem. Understand, it's their problem.

508
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:35.599
They've taken something that should be a
positive in their lives. And because

509
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:38.760
this happens to be their greatest fear. That okay, criticism is my greatest

510
00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:44.000
fear. So when someone says something, wow, criticism, and all of

511
00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:47.000
a sudden you get that banering going
back and forth. That isn't healthy.

512
00:34:47.559 --> 00:34:53.960
How do you learn how the other
person would like to be spoken to?

513
00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:00.360
Well, I guess it's trial and
error. I mean, I think if

514
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:04.679
a person takes everything as criticism,
and I know people like that, just

515
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:07.400
think, well, how does just
try different things? Trial and there?

516
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:12.679
Tell them you know, this was
great, this was great, but have

517
00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:17.360
you thought of doing this differently?
Right? Right? It's in a way

518
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:22.000
that they don't feel put off,
and really, you know, you know,

519
00:35:22.559 --> 00:35:25.360
And I think it's a very important
point because I've had a lot of

520
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:30.159
men will say to me, I
tried to show leadership, but she criticized

521
00:35:30.199 --> 00:35:32.320
me. So I just shut down
and withdrew and I said, you know

522
00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:37.280
that's you or they said, you
know, I felt that I needed her

523
00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:40.519
permission. She would she wouldn't let
me be the leader. You know,

524
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:45.239
you got to I mean, either
one if the woman has to realize that's

525
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:47.079
not the way to talk to the
man, and the man has to real

526
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:50.679
even though she talks to you that
way, you have to be the leader

527
00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:54.519
because she's if she's not respecting you, maybe she's not respecting you because you

528
00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:59.440
weren't being a leader. Now you
finally start and she's being critical of you.

529
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:01.559
Well, you just realize you have
to be the leader. And I

530
00:36:01.599 --> 00:36:05.880
tell mentor, one thing to realize
is she actually wants you to be the

531
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:08.880
leader. She doesn't want a controlling
tyrant. Now nobody wants that, but

532
00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:13.840
she actually wants you to step forward
and show your share of leadership. So

533
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:19.119
if she criticizes you, just realize, just ignore it and step forward.

534
00:36:19.159 --> 00:36:22.280
And you know, when you think
about it, any kind of leader takes

535
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:24.960
a lot of criticism. You know, leaders of companies, leaders and governments.

536
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:30.800
You know, you step forward into
leadership role, you get criticized,

537
00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:34.199
and that's in a relationship that may
be part of it. And you have

538
00:36:34.239 --> 00:36:37.559
to say, well, you know, if if one criticize you, just

539
00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:40.480
say, you know, would you
support me on this? Now, one

540
00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:45.039
thing men will say, you know
that they try to show leadership with their

541
00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:50.519
kids and their their wives will undermind
them, and because so resentful, they'll

542
00:36:50.519 --> 00:36:52.559
say, I'll say, you don't
just say to her, you know,

543
00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:57.360
would you please support me on this? You know, like because what a

544
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:00.519
leader say, they ask for your
support, say, would you please support

545
00:37:00.519 --> 00:37:01.920
me on this? You know,
if you want to criticize me, not

546
00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:05.760
in front of the children, please
support me in front of the children,

547
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:09.360
and often they'll do it. It
works like you talk like a leader speaks

548
00:37:10.519 --> 00:37:15.800
well. And you know, I
do a behavioral analysis which gives you all

549
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:21.000
of that information on how does someone
want to be spoken with? But families

550
00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:23.880
aren't going to necessarily do that because
it costs a little bit of money.

551
00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:29.960
So do you find that it's important
to be able to say to your spouse,

552
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.599
help me to understand how you would
like me to speak to you.

553
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:38.760
What am I doing that may not
be comfortable for you? So, for

554
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:40.840
instance, for me, when I
learned that, you know what, I

555
00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:45.480
have to ask my kids you want
my opinion or you just want me to

556
00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:49.840
listen? And they laugh now when
I say that, But at the same

557
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:54.239
time, they never feel criticism anymore
because they know that they either ask for

558
00:37:54.280 --> 00:38:00.599
it or I'm not offering an opinion. So do you encourage them? And

559
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:06.280
how do they get to the point
where they can really learn how that person

560
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:09.719
really chooses and would like to be
communicated with unless they ask the question.

561
00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:16.159
But that's a good point, and
I I I'll ask my kids and when

562
00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:19.960
they tell me something, do you
want me to listen or do you want

563
00:38:19.960 --> 00:38:23.920
my opinions? Because I generally give
my opinion. That's why they're asking me.

564
00:38:24.519 --> 00:38:28.880
So that's that's a good point you
could ask them or you know,

565
00:38:28.920 --> 00:38:31.400
it's just a matter of thinking through, like what is the best way to

566
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:35.480
deal with this? What is what
is the best way to get the response

567
00:38:35.559 --> 00:38:38.400
you want? You know it?
You know, just like you know,

568
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:40.760
like a child, if you want
to motivate a child, if you say,

569
00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:44.000
you know, you did it so
badly on this, you've been so

570
00:38:44.039 --> 00:38:45.239
badly on that, like, that's
not going to motivate him. I mean,

571
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:49.079
you know this. If you say, hey, well you know you

572
00:38:49.159 --> 00:38:52.239
had a little setback here in life, you'll have lots of setbacks. I

573
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:54.199
mean, what is a person need, Dear, you'll have lots of setbacks.

574
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:59.880
It's guaranteed. In fact, you're
probably more setbacks than successes because that's

575
00:38:59.880 --> 00:39:02.519
how life is. And then and
you say, but I see you didn't

576
00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:06.719
succeeded this, but I see you
have ability in this. They need to

577
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:09.199
be encouraged, right, everybody wants
encouragement, especially from a parent, a

578
00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:15.599
parent, especially a father. You
know, what a father says has a

579
00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:20.519
big impact on a child. I'm
sure you agree with that. Or yeah,

580
00:39:20.719 --> 00:39:22.559
so if you say you know,
this was a setback, but you're

581
00:39:22.599 --> 00:39:27.000
good at this, and then you
can tell them about your own setbacks.

582
00:39:27.719 --> 00:39:30.320
I set back on this, set
back on this, but this I succeeded.

583
00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:35.079
It took a long time. Well, and you know what it's I

584
00:39:35.079 --> 00:39:38.119
mean this whole area of communication and
what you're doing, which I think is

585
00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:44.400
fantastic of trying to work with that
specific group of men that are just frustrating

586
00:39:44.440 --> 00:39:49.400
the living daylights out of their wives
because they're not taking any kind of leadership

587
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:57.199
responsibility at all. So what would
you say to people? Has a message

588
00:39:57.239 --> 00:40:02.599
to them as far as what do
they need to do? What's the next

589
00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:07.559
step? People that are listening right
now that say you know what that may

590
00:40:07.559 --> 00:40:10.599
be applying to me, what's their
next step? Well, okay, if

591
00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:15.840
it's a man, say stop,
realize that your wife actually wants you to

592
00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:19.360
show your share of leadership. She
actually wants you to make decisions. If

593
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.079
she asks for your input, she
wants it, don't just say whatever you

594
00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:27.079
want and you know, be aware
of what's going on. You know,

595
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:30.199
step forward to deal with situation that
need to be dealt with there not being

596
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:34.480
dealt with. Take responsibility. That's
another message we've been talking about. It

597
00:40:34.599 --> 00:40:37.480
is like if you give into something
that your wife pressures you into, you

598
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:40.039
into and you knew was wrong,
and it goes wrong just like you thought

599
00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:45.320
it would. Don't blame your wife. You went along. Take responsibility.

600
00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:47.960
Nobody wants to hear you say you're
a victim of a woman. You know,

601
00:40:49.679 --> 00:40:52.199
make decisions, take responsibility, show
show your share of leadership. But

602
00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:55.519
don't blame your wife. And even
if you know a lot of them guys

603
00:40:55.519 --> 00:40:59.239
will think I'll let her decide everything
because then if it goes wrong, she

604
00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:01.719
won't blame me. Believe me,
she'll blame you. Anyway, you should

605
00:41:01.719 --> 00:41:05.880
have stopped me from doing it.
You should have known. Okay, that's

606
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.880
for the men, for the women. And if you have a man like

607
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:13.599
this, realize he's doing this because
he really doesn't know better. He really

608
00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:15.239
thought this is the right thing.
I don't want to be controlling. I'll

609
00:41:15.239 --> 00:41:19.079
just do whatever you want. I
mean. I met with a psychologist once

610
00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:22.840
on another issue is a custody and
access assessment for a friend of mine,

611
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:25.679
and he said to me, he
does marriage counseling and he tells men just

612
00:41:25.719 --> 00:41:30.960
do whatever your wife tells you.
I said, you're joking on you anyway,

613
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:35.320
So that men have to have to
learn this. They have to learn

614
00:41:35.400 --> 00:41:37.719
they have to take responsibility, they
have to show leadership. So speak to

615
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:42.480
him in a way that I just
realize that. So don't be frustrated with

616
00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:45.039
him, because you shouldn't be frustrated
with some man doing something he doesn't know,

617
00:41:45.280 --> 00:41:49.119
for him not doing something he doesn't
know he's supposed to do. So

618
00:41:50.239 --> 00:41:52.599
encourage him, you say, it
will make make you happy if he would

619
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:55.679
make a decision on this. You
know, I want your input. I

620
00:41:55.719 --> 00:42:00.920
think decisive men are really sexy.
Say what he needs to hear to motivate

621
00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:04.679
him to do that, and realize
that's what he needs to hear. And

622
00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:07.239
he's not doing this to resent you. He doesn't want He wants you to

623
00:42:07.239 --> 00:42:12.239
be his mother. He wants to
be a good man and just talk to

624
00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:15.119
him. But that that's and that's
really the message of the second book.

625
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:17.360
You know how to get your man
to wear the pants. Encourage him and

626
00:42:17.400 --> 00:42:22.559
he will be that. He will
become that man because he really wants to

627
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:24.960
make you happy. He really wants
to keep his family together. He doesn't

628
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:29.039
want to get divorced, he doesn't
want his children to be from broken home.

629
00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:34.760
Just educate him, realize he didn't
know this. Okay, So how

630
00:42:34.840 --> 00:42:37.880
do they find your books? Your
two books? Okay, well they're both

631
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:42.119
available here. They are Being the
Strong Man and Woman Wants and how to

632
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.719
Get Your Man to Where the Pants
are both available on Amazon as a paperback,

633
00:42:45.239 --> 00:42:49.960
as an ebook, and as an
audiobook. And I find the audiobook

634
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:52.400
is quite popular people like to listen
to while our drivings. Oh yeah,

635
00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:58.039
fantastic. And then you coach,
you coach people, right, you help

636
00:42:58.079 --> 00:43:00.960
people with this issue. So how
do they find you? They come to

637
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:07.079
my website www dot Elliott kats dot
com. It's Elliott is E L L

638
00:43:07.159 --> 00:43:10.159
I O T T it's two t's
kat z dot com. And you can

639
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:15.280
email me and you can you know, call it. We'll speak on the

640
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:17.719
phone. I you know, the
first half hour is no charge. And

641
00:43:17.880 --> 00:43:22.519
really I'm just happy to help people. This isn't really a business for me.

642
00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:27.880
I'm really want fewer divorces and fewer
kids from broken homes. And we

643
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:31.000
could talk for half an hour and
make some progress. That's fine with me.

644
00:43:31.719 --> 00:43:36.360
I get it. And that's fantastic. And Elliott, thanks so much

645
00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:39.559
for being on the show. This
is fascinating because we're we're talking about something

646
00:43:39.599 --> 00:43:45.039
and I think you're right the media
and then you just mentioned the psychologists.

647
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:52.079
There's there's so much that people tend
to think are leaders and accurate leaders,

648
00:43:52.199 --> 00:43:59.760
when in fact the information that they're
getting is so incorrect and it's causing all

649
00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:04.400
of the these divorces in these certain
areas. So I think you know,

650
00:44:04.599 --> 00:44:07.719
the books that you're writing and what
you're doing is just really fantastic for that

651
00:44:07.960 --> 00:44:13.960
segment that are experiencing that. So
thank you very much. Okay, thank

652
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:17.239
you for having me and folks,
thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed

653
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:22.159
it. And you know what,
if you're experiencing this situation, get a

654
00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:25.159
hold of Elliott and you know,
let him answer some questions for you and

655
00:44:25.199 --> 00:44:29.960
hopefully it's something that can help you
very much in that relationship. So thanks

656
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:31.800
for listening. Look forward to having
you join us again soon