Awakening the Soul of Power

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This program is designed to provide general
information with regards to the subject matters covered.

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This information is given with the understanding
that neither the hosts, guests,

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sponsors, or station are engaged in
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legal counseling, professional service, or
any advice. You should seek the

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services of competent professionals before applying or
trying any suggested ideas. At the end

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of the day, it's not about
what you have or even what you've accomplished.

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It's about what you've done with those
accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted

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up, who you've made better.
It's about what you've given back. Denzel

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Washington, welcome to inspire Vision.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

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of others and to inspire you to
do the same. Christian, Welcome to

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the show. How are you,
hey, Doug, thanks so much so

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much for for having me. I'm
doing great. How about God, I'm

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doing fine. It's a little warm
here. It's about one hundred and five

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degrees outside, so it cats really
hot, and I have to turn on

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the air turn off the air conditioner
in the room because otherwise it would be

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hissing for this whole that you know, this whole interview. So anyway,

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I'm doing great though, enjoying life. So anyway, what I'd love for

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you to do is kind of share
with the audience who you are and your

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story, because you have a fascinating
story and to be able to get to

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the point that you are now and
what you're doing. I'd love for you

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to kind of share that story with
the audience. Yeah. Thanks, thanks

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so much for the opportunity to share
that story because I tell it, because

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I hope that it is inspiring to
others, because I know self doubt,

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I know self hatred. My entire
adolescence was one very long depression with with

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suicidal fans. And flash forward to
today. No matter what happens in my

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life, no matter the circumstances,
you know, whether a relationship works out

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or it doesn't, whether a project
succeeds or it fails. In quotes,

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never ever, ever, do I
question my sense of worth like that is

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established, unshakable, And I know
if that can happen in me, it

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can happen in anybody. And that's
what I hope my work supports people don't

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do I mean, I know it
does I've been doing transformational retreats and workshops

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and coaching for the last over thirty
years, and I use breath work as

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a healing modality, as a healing
tool, and the combination of the teachings

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about understanding how the mind works,
how we break free from the self made

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prison of the mind. It's a
lot. It really makes a difference people's

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lives, and we all have that
right, that desire, that longing to

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be happy, to have relationships that
have a chance of working, to have

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a sense of meaning of purpose in
our lives. And that's what my work

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is intended and designed to do.
Okay, So when you were a child,

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where were you living. I was
born in Cuba, so I'm an

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immigrant. My family came over from
Cuba when I was ten, and so

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we lived in a communist country for
the first ten years of life. Or

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you know, for which I'm actually
grateful. There's so many things that we

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take for granted here in the US, you know, just the freedoms,

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you know, to go to college
and study whatever you want to go or

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not to go to college. Things
that we take for granted are not available

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just anywhere around the world. And
it really you know, it's kind of

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challenging to see that how many people
just take it for granted and don't get

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involved and just kind of let things
go depending which way the wind blows.

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And it's not a good strategy because
they're not guaranteed those rights that they're always

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going to be there. Yeah,
and how what was your experience as a

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child? You know, part of
what for which I'm grateful is that,

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you know, we had a TV, but there was nothing worth watching,

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so we grew up reading. And
for that, I'm really really grateful because

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it teaches you how to think,
how to how to imagine. You imagine

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these different worlds and different realities and
and and we used to create and invent

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our own games and pastimes. So
for that, I'm really grateful. You

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know that we didn't have that many
toys because so there were just that many

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toys to be had, But I'm
really grateful for that. But for those

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reasons, it really engenders and supports
creative thinking. And was it a great

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childhood? Uh? You know,
I know you had good parents. Was

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it a good childhood where the challenges
that you faced? What what went on

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there? Well? I mean it
was yes, and right, it was

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it was a beautiful childhood. And
yet you know, living in a communist

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country, you're living in fear.
And even though we as kids were kind

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of sheltered and protected, you still, you know, you couldn't notice what's

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going on. For example, I
remember this this, and you know,

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my family had it better than most
because my dad was a doctor and had

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connections. You could get stuff for
friends that from friends who worked in foreign

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embassies, or there was a black
market. I remember my parents trading with

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the Russian soldiers who were based in
Cuba at the time, you know,

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trading rum and cigars for butter or
whatever it was that they could get from

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the Russians. And I remember one
situation in which my parents had bought you

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know, like half a cow from
some farmers somewhere and in Cuba, which

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is you know, goes to the
point of taking for granted our freedoms.

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Here, like in every city block, there's a comet the defense side,

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like a defense committee, So they're
basically spying on the comings and goings of

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everybody in that city block, and
they're like stool pitches the report to the

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government. So I guess one of
those noticed and they reported it to the

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g two, which was sort of
like the state police, the Secret Service

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kind of thing, the Secret police
kind of thing. And so there's my

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mom. I have this memory of
my mom like stalling in the front door

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from the guards from coming in while
my dad was out back throwing all the

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meat over the fence to the next
door neighbors. So just little things that

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we take for granted here, like
chewing gum, Like what's chewing gum tours

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in the US? Like nothing.
We put it in their mouth and spit

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it out, don't even think about
it. Well, we were kids,

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and again because my parents had friends
who worked for embassies once in a while,

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we used to get a pack of
chicklets, you know, the little

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checklates, and were large family,
nine kids, and so we used to

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like you know, very fairly,
spread the gum around and chew it all

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day. At the end of the
day, get a glass of water with

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you know, a couple of fingers
of water, and we put our gum

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in there and toothpaste and stir it
up so that it would be minty the

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next day, and hide it so
my mom wouldn't find it and throw it

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out, and we could, you
know, keep it going for days and

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weeks at a time until she found
it and threw it out. That's funny.

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Well, so you know, you
mentioned that you really did, even

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even with the experience and with your
dad's connections and so forth, you experienced

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a great deal of fear as a
child when you came here to the United

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States. Did you find that that
immediately went away or did you find that

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you were still experiencing that sense of
fear even though you were in an entirely

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different environment. Well, it was
it was a different kind of fear that

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that surfaced because you know, it
came to the States without speaking a word

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of English, and we landed in
Georgia, and there's a small town in

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the center of Georgia because of a
psychiatric hospital where my father could practice as

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he was going through the whole licensing
process here, and you know, they

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didn't take very kindly to foreigners.
So there was that whole other fear of

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fitting in, of being rejected,
like struggling like so many people do,

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you know at that age to begin
with, But in my sense, it

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was like even to communicate, and
so yeah, I don't have very fun

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memories of that phase of my life. And you know, I think we

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all experienced to wonder we're another fear, but obviously what you went through.

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I mean, I'm here in Thailand
right now, I'm here for the winter.

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I'm heading back to the US at
Land of May. But I can

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tell you not being able to speak
Tai, which is one of the toughest

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languages to learn and to try to
communicate with people. You know, I

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don't know if it's fear. I
get so frustrated because I'm not being understood

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or I'm not understanding them, or
I think I'm understanding them. I found

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a letter that it was totally an
opposite thing they were saying, and so

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I can imagine how difficult that is, and that was for you to come

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into the US not being able to
speak the language at all. And English

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is not an easy language to learn
either. Oh my god, Doug,

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it's a bitch to learn. I
mean, just the pronunciation. It's so

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difficult because there's no rules, like
just think about the ou combination those vowel

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sounds. You can probably you know, pronounce it like ten different ways,

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and there's just no way other than
memorization to learn it. It's not an

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easy language, for sure. I
know. So how did you end up

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writing this book, Awakening the Soul
of Power? You know, because I've

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been thinking about it for a long
time. Why is it that so many

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of us struggle with issues around power? And why is it that we give

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our power away? You know,
like why do we say yes when inside

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we really feel no, like it's
not okay with us? And how many

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times have we done that? How
many times have we swallowed our dreams,

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our perceptions, our thoughts because of
that fear of rejection or fear of whatever

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it is that we're afraid of.
Well, and what's your definition of power?

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Let's stop for a minute and for
the audience, your definition of power?

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Because people, you know, as
you know, as we're talking about

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it, we all have this different
perception and when we hear the word power,

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people are going to think different things
based on their experiences. So with

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the book Awakening the Soul of Power, what is your definition of power?

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Yes? And that's a beautiful question. Thanks for clarifying that, because I'm

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talking about personal power, you know, our potential to be all of who

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we are. You know, power
also comes is our ability to do like

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you know, words like poret or
prouvoir in French mean not only power,

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but they also mean the ability to
do so it comes to the same root

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of potential. And so to me, power is is agency, is being

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able to be who we are fully
no matter what, and to express that

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in the world. And so so
many of us confused. I are so

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confused about that word power, so
and and there's so much conditioning about it,

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right with quotes like power corrupts and
absolute power corrupts absolutely so no wonder,

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we have an ambivalent relationship to it. Part of us wants it,

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part of us is afraid of it. And what they didn't tell us about

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that quote is that Lord Acton was
speaking specifically about political power, not the

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personal power that we're talking about here. And then we also fear that we

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might abuse it no wonder, like
how many abuses of power have each of

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us witnessed throughout our lives. And
so when you put all that into the

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mix, what happens is that we
end up giving our power away because we

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have that conflicted relationship with it.
And so what this book is about is

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like, how do we step into
power in a different way, like,

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in a different way that's not about
control force, fear, domination. You

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know, this hierarchical power which I
knew very well from childhood, from living

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in a communist regime, you know, where powers abused constantly, like a

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tyrannical regime. Yeah, and so
how do we do it in a way

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that doesn't require that we push anybody
down? Right, that's the hierarchical part

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of it. If it, if
I have to the only way that I'm

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gonna feel power is by pushing you
down and putting my knee to your neck.

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And that's the way that we have
seen it and witnessed it, and

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I wonder we have an ambivalent,
confused relationship about it. So how do

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we do it in a different way
that your power doesn't threaten me? Like,

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if I'm in my power, why
would I be threatened by you being

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in your powers? Like I can
handle whatever comes my way. And yeah,

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it's a different way that is more
horizontal about power with rather than power

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over. And you know, I
used to teach a course on personality here,

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behavioral you know, type of things, and the model that I followed

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was one where we literally have three
different types of personality. We have that

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innate personality of who we really are
who we came here and we're born as,

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which has a lot to do with
you know, our DNA and all

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of that. But then we have
that social power or that social personality,

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and in that social personality, there
are two options. Either we are at

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the effect of all of those subconscious
imprints or the surroundings around us or whatever

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is going on, and therefore we
have to act and be as we're expected

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to be, or we have the
ability to control and if I'm going to

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a particular event, I can behave
in a way that's appropriate for that and

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then go to a different one and
behave that way. But I'm choosing to

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do that. And then obviously there's
the third one, which basically is how

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we really are coming across in this
world. But what I find is when

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we get to that second one,
which is the social personality, it really

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reminds me of people talking about how
they never have been able to speak their

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voice, their true voice, And
from what you're talking about with power,

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what comes to my mind is the
power to be who we really are,

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exactly exactly, to be authentically a
ourselves in whatever situation. Because we're so

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conditioned and we interpret what we think
other people's expectations are of us, because

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a lot of it is we're just
making it up in our own heads.

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And so we're show up this way
at work, We're this other way with

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our parents. It's the other way
with our kids, it's other way with

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our friends, it's other way with
our partners or spouses, and it's exhausting.

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And like what we're talking about is
like I love the way you speak

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about it, because we just get
to be who we are wherever we are,

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and of course not in a stupid
way. We don't have to reveal

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every deepest dark aspect of us in
any of those settings we get. It's

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like the word that you use,
it's so important, which is choice.

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We get to choose, yes they
are, and how much to say and

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in what setting, and rather than
to make those choices from an authentic place,

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rather than because of some unsolved,
unhealed trauma that happened to where we're

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five or ten or fifteen, and
we've made some choices about that from that

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limited perspective, from those misunderstandings of
your young minds that didn't know any better,

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and so we've made all these huge
assumptions about who we are and how

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to be in the world and what
the roles are according to society and societal

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expectations, and it's all made up. And I love your emphasis on choice,

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that we get to choose who we
are, wherever we are and at

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any point in our lives. Well, yeah, I love some sayings that

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you know, we are either at
the effect of things or we are in

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control, we are at cause.
And the interesting thing is, I think

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more about it. If you know, if we are constantly at the effect

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of the environment and subconscious beliefs and
all these types of things, we are

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literally living a life of victimhood.
The only way to get out of that

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is to be able to truly achieve
what you talk about is getting that the

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power of the soul and becoming who
actually we really are. And most people

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don't realize who they really are.
I think there's a whole spiritual sense of

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that. As far as the divine
is, I've interviewed a few people that

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use that word the divine within us, and most people really don't even recognize

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that it's there because they've been so
hammered, as you say, with your

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experiences and others of this different type
of situation where their perception about themselves is

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completely different than who they really are. Absolutely, Douga and you man,

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you're going right for the jugular right
the whole thing about victimhood. In over

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thirty years of doing this personal transformation
work and supporting people to get free and

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step into their authentic expression, I
think that's the hardest thing to do,

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is to tear up that victim card
because and it's so subtle and so insidious.

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You know that poor me, woy
is me if only mom had been

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this or Dad hadn't left to the
teacher of the minister society, sexism,

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racism, homophobia, whatever it is. And not to deny that bad thing

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happened to us and challenging thing happened
to us, and that the system isn't

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set up fairly, which it isn't. But the thing is, if we're

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on a journey of personal empowerment,
as long as we're holding someone or something

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outside of us responsible for our state
of being, we just gave our power

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away and often to the perpetrator.
So so I don't see a way around

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that. If we want to have
that sense of meeting and purpose and personal

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power and agency over our lives,
we've got to tear up that victim card,

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and again without denying the stuff that
happened, but it's basically saying it's

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like, all right, it sucked
whatever it happened, and I really wish

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it hadn't. But here we are, like, here's here's the deck of

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cards that I was dealt. What
am I gonna do? And response?

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How am I going to show up
in response to that? Given all of

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that and reframing it that way is
incredibly just pops out a victim well and

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get to choose how we show up
in response. Anyway, with all of

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the people in all the years that
you have worked with people with you know,

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developing this message of power within themselves, have you noticed that there's a

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commonality of self sabotaging behaviors of other
patterns that happen that have happened in their

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early childhood and maybe even their teenage
years or whatever. Have you observed that

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there are some patterns that are there
that are common among all of the people

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that you've worked with, And if
so, what are they and how do

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they come about? Oh? My
god, yes, there's definite patterns.

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And you mentioned the word self sabotage, is like, yes, absolutely,

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And the tragic part about it,
Doug, is how much of it happens

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subconsciously. We're not even aware of
why we do the things we do and

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what's driving Why do we get triggered
by certain people, the certain behaviors,

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or certain situations. Why do we
keep repeating certain certain patterns, especially in

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relationships, Like sometimes it feels like, Wow, I've seen this movie before.

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This is a boring movie. I've
seen it before, because we keep

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repeating the same old patterns, the
same old arguments, and now we're just

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doing it with a different actor.
It's a different colleaide, but the same

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crap coming up in relationships. And
at some point we got to get clear,

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I get honest and see that there's
one common denominator in every one of

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those arguments, in every one of
those relationships, And it's right here,

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right, and it's tough, right, like to that's going back to the

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victimization. It's a lot easier to
blame others and blame circumstances. And if

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only I had been raised in a
different family or a different culture or different

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whatever. It keeps us stuck in
that prison of perceived victimization. And like

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you know, in relationships. We
keep recreating the same old patterns following for

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people who are not available, who
are not a match, and again it

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feels like the same old, boring
movie. And at some point in getting

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in realizing that the upside of that
is like, hey, then I get

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to make the choice. I get
to decide why. In becoming more conscious

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of realizing why we do the things
we do, we can bring choice back

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into the equation and that opens up
the possibility for freedom and for personal empowerment.

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So how do you help people?
How do you help your clients to

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number one, become aware that what
they are experiencing is merely a culmination of

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all of those subcoms conscious or conscious
experiences that have created their life. And

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literally that they are attracting the very
experiences that many times they're trying to get

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away from. And yet because all
of this stuff is just buried there in

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the subconscious, they keep attracting it. But how do you help people to

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become aware of that? Number one? I'm going to ask a couple questions.

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Number one, how do they become
aware of that? Honestly? And

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then number two, how do you
help them to take that personal responsibility to

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say you know what, this happened
to me and that was totally out of

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my control. It happened to me, this event, but I can take

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the responsibility to perceive it in two
different ways as a victim or as an

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experience that is teaching me something that
will help me to be better in life

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or help me to help others in
a better way. Yes, and that's

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precisely the shift in perception right there. You just showed up. But how

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do you do it? How do
you help your client's number one to become

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aware and then number two to take
that personal responsibility because it's not easy.

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No, No, it's nothing less
than heroic. Now that I frame all

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this as a heroic journey, as
a hero's journey, and I don't use

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that word lightly right, Coursing through
life and feeling at the effect of feeling

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like we're buffeted by life's ups and
downs and curveballs. Anybody can do that.

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React when somebody hurts us, splatter
somebody against the wall, when somebody

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did something that we interpreted as painful. Anybody can do that, to take

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a pause and to go out that
hurt. How do I want a response

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to have the presence to choose.
It's a journey and nothing less than heroic.

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And it begins with how do we
do? It becomes with aware,

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and it begins with awareness. We
can't do anything about what we can't see.

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So we've got to begin to develop
self awareness or press us in practices

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so that we begin to understand these
patterns and our triggers and why we do

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the things we do. One thing
that I always begin with in my workshops

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in my retreats, it's understanding,
like teaching people to understand what the ego

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mind is. Because if we want
to have a relationship a chance, our

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relationships to have a chance of working, if we want to have that sense

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of meaning of empowerment, we've got
to understand that because it's it's a it's

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our greater sabotager and saboteur and so's
we don't have time to get into it.

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It's a long conversation, but here's
a great visual that helps us understand.

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If you put a baseball in the
center of a stadium, that's what

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the ego is. Right. The
ego means I in Latin, is that

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sense of iness. This is Christian, that's Doug right, that's our sense

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of individual personal personality, separate identity. And so that's the baseball, that's

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our sense ofness. Who we are
is actually the stadium. And we've allowed

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this tiny, tiny, tiny part
of who we are to think that it

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is all who we are and to
make some really important, significant, consequential

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choices about what we do with our
lives, what kind of relationships we say

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yes to, what kind of opportunities
we participate with. We make all those

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choices from its very small, tiny, limited and always fear based perspective.

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So that's step one. And and
then you know, I have a whole

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set of teachings that go with that, the whole set of teachings that go

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about how to how to do relationships
consciously so that again we're not like you

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say, at the effect of these
subconscious patterns. And we'll get in we'll

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get into that night. Yeah,
I want to get into that that more.

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But I want to talk about the
ego because I think that's something that

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most people don't understand. That's fascinating. As I've been here for the winter

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and so you know, my curiosity
has caused me always to study different things.

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I've really been fascinated by Buddhism,
and as i've you know, as

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I've tried to understand a little bit
more, there were items that you know,

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they talk about that I just could
not figure out in my mind.

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And one of those was to understand
your not self. And you knows,

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as I've heard that, and I'm
how do you do that? How do

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you do that? And all of
a sudden you talking about it. I've

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had a few other people talking about
it, talking about the ego and how

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the ego, our ego literally controls
our lives, and not in a good

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way. And now I finally go, aha, that was that aha moment.

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That is like, what he's talking
about is get rid of the ego

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and don't let it control you,
because literally, that ego is the one

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that seeks for riches, It seeks
for this, It wants this, it

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wants that, and as we keep
wanting all of those things, it causes

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us to behaviors and so forth that
or not necessarily who we are, but

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we feel like that's going to prove
to people who we are, when in

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fact that's not really who we are, but the ego is telling us that's

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what we need to do. How
how do you find you help people to

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break that, you know, as
you call it, that self imprison that

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self imposed prison of limitations, that
ego. How do they how do they

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learn to break that pattern so that
they are literally not being controlled by their

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ego? Yeah, And it's it's
a journey, right, It's a heroic

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journey. It's nothing less than that. And and so part of it begins

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with understanding, like, right,
what is the ego? How does it

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work? Where does it show up
in my life? Beginning to see it

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in each other? Right, we
start seeing each other over there first,

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because that's easier to see that.
It's harder to see in our in ourselves

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and our self defeating patterns and all
election that that's all the realm of the

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ego, a reactivity, which is
what gets us into trouble. Right,

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somebody says something, we interpret it
as hurt, which is also through the

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filter of the egos and all its
past unresolved hurts. And so we have

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this false sense of self and which
is also impacted by conditioning and societal roles

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and all those definitions and limitations.
And so we have this false sense of

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self and we're coming from that.
So part of the process of freeing ourselves

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has got to start with understanding how
does it work. So I've got a

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whole set of teachings which are really
helpful about understanding the ego and how it

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works. And it's and because we
react and then we regret, right,

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that's the adrenaline takes over. We
say something that hurts somebody back, and

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then the adrenaline dissiplates. It's like, oh my god, I can't believe

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I said that. It gets us
into trouble, it harms our relationships,

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and it doesn't get us what we
want. So it begins with understanding,

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and then I bring in a healing
modality, which is the breath work that

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I started to talk about earlier,
which my dad, as I said,

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was a psychiatrist. I studied psychology. I was on a track to get

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a PhD in psychology until I discovered
breathwork thirty three years ago, and it

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changed my life. After one session
Doug, I knew how to do it

376
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again, and I knew that I
had to make it available to others,

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and with all due respect to psychotherapy, in the right hands, with clear

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goals, it can be incredibly supporting
and life changing. And we all know

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that you can sit on somebody's scouch
or in somebody's office for five, ten,

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twenty thirty years at a time,
rehashing the same old crap and nothing

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happens. And why is that right? Because that trauma no longer lives up

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here in the mind. It's been
somaticized and now lives in the body.

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So talking about it is not really
going to get to it, right.

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So we've got to find modalities like
breath work that bypass the mind and go

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to with the source of the trauma, live and clear it and heal it.

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And it's incredibly effective. And you
know, it's hard to believe.

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I know that just from breathing so
much healing can happen and provide these moments

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of non self that you're talking about. We helps us pop out of the

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limitation of the baseball into perceptions of
the stadium or true nature. But I

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can't argue with the results it works. Okay, So you're talking about breath

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work, So are you talking about
meditation? Breath work you could say is

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a type of meditation. Meditation has
it's all other set of practices, right,

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breath work it's kind of a shortcut
to high meditative states. It doesn't

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replace meditation. It's a lot to
be said, you know, for that

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practice of even if it's ten minutes
a day, three times, three times

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a week, you do that,
and even start with five minutes a day.

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Right, it's just observing ourselves,
observing our breath, observing an accounting

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tens like placing or gaze in the
candle. There's a lot of different types

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of meditation are that are taught to
focus the mind and to increase self awareness.

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So there's a lot of benefits for
those. Breath work is something else.

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And again, breathwork is a large
umbrella term a lot of breathing practice,

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as anybody who's gone to a yoga
clause has done breathwork. The one

403
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that I'm talking about is longer.
It's like kind of breath work on steroids.

404
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You breathe in a certain way,
in a circular, connected way for

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about an hour an hour and a
half, and amazing things happen. Amazing,

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Okay things happen. So I'm fascinated
by meditation, but I'm also fascinated

407
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by breath work, and I'm not
really ever understood it. And as you

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say, there are all sorts of
different things that they talk about breath work,

409
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:55.519
whether it's yoga on the matter or
whatever. So the breath work that

410
00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:59.119
you're talking about, could you get
a little bit more detailed here if you

411
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:04.119
don't mind, and really explain to
the audience, what are you talking about

412
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:07.759
this type of breath work, How
do I experience it? What do I

413
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:12.400
do in order to experience the breath
work, and how do I do it

414
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:15.160
in a way that I can sit
there for an hour and do that and

415
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.440
experience what you're talking about. Yeah, well, this particular type of breath

416
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:22.640
work, I wouldn't recommend that initially
people try it on their own because it's

417
00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:29.200
really powerful. Okay, I've had
people and really stuff, profound stuff gets

418
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:35.799
healed, right. But part of
the way that it works is like what

419
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:39.400
used to be spiritual teaching that everything
is energy. Now we know from quantum

420
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.599
physics that it's true. Even what
solid this chair that I'm sitting on,

421
00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:49.160
my body, it feels solid,
but it's not. It's vibration. And

422
00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:55.039
we know from from physics that energy
cannot be destroyed. For all the hundreds

423
00:32:55.519 --> 00:33:00.680
and maybe thousands of times that we
have swallowed or emotions, right that we

424
00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:06.680
haven't given them voice because we didn't
feel safe saying how we felt. That

425
00:33:06.799 --> 00:33:10.400
stuff doesn't go away, right,
because energy cannot be destroyed. Emotions are

426
00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:16.160
energy too, right, so they
get stuck in the tissues of our body.

427
00:33:16.599 --> 00:33:22.640
And after years and decades and a
lifetime of suppressing our emotions, we

428
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:28.039
walk around with layers and layers and
more layers of suppressed emotional crap and unhealed

429
00:33:28.039 --> 00:33:30.359
past trauma, stuff that we never
work through, and we try to sweep

430
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:32.880
unto the rug. And again,
that stuff doesn't go away if we don't

431
00:33:32.960 --> 00:33:37.400
work with it, if we don't
heal it. Right here, we are

432
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:40.119
trying to have a relationship and in
the present, and it's all getting filtered

433
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:46.400
through that lifetime of suppressed emotions and
unhealed past trauma. Yikes, because we

434
00:33:46.440 --> 00:33:52.960
then start projecting all that stuff on
each other and and it's that no wonder.

435
00:33:53.640 --> 00:33:58.279
You know, our relationships mostly most
of the time don't work. We

436
00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:00.000
haven't been taught how to hold them. We have been taught how to approach

437
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:04.720
them, and we certainly haven't been
taught how to heal ourselves from up this

438
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:08.519
bag of bund resolved emotional crap that
we walk around with. And so the

439
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:13.760
beauty of breath work is that it
clears up, and it's you know,

440
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:19.519
it's because we're healing stuff from our
past. Sometimes stuff comes up. You

441
00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:25.079
know, I've had countless people work
through and sometimes remember like stuff like sexual

442
00:34:25.119 --> 00:34:30.679
trauma or sexual abuse. And so
it's good to have somebody who's holding space,

443
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:36.480
whether you can space for you,
who can who can create help create

444
00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:40.639
that safe environment in which that stuff
can come up. But I wouldn't recommend

445
00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:44.400
initially trying it on your own.
So to work, you know, do

446
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:47.239
the first five sessions, the first
ten with a trained professional. Then you

447
00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:52.119
can be taught how to do it
on your own. Okay, and it's

448
00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:54.440
different. Yeah, it's not a
difficult technique. It's just a way of

449
00:34:54.440 --> 00:35:00.280
breathing. The technical part of it
is easy, but it's the vic eating

450
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:04.760
the safe environment so that that stuff
can come up from where it's been suppressed

451
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:08.159
and subconscious into the conscious so that
it can be cleared and like we were

452
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:14.719
talking about earlier, so that we're
not making choices because of our unhealed past

453
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:20.199
and unexamined fears, So that we
can make these choices from a place of

454
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:24.440
consciousness and presence and freedom, not
because of our unhealed pasts. So have

455
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:28.400
you found you know, I do
a lot of meditation. In fact,

456
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:35.400
practically every morning I will do some
walking meditation and listen to different frequencies and

457
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:39.000
you know, go through that whole
process, and oftentimes part of that guided

458
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:43.360
meditation is some of them which I
do. There is that focus on the

459
00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:45.920
breath and so on and so forth. So it sounds to me almost like

460
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:52.280
what you're saying is, you know, there's there's that that probably you go

461
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:58.239
from elementary school to middle school to
high school to college, and you're reaching

462
00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:04.639
that level of college, but there's
that PhD. There's that advanced you know,

463
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:08.400
that advanced degree where you are now
reaching this level which you know obviously

464
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:15.159
you can't go from high school into
a PhD program. But what you're saying,

465
00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:19.159
if I'm understanding you correctly, is
the methodology that you teach on the

466
00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:23.159
breath number one really does need some
guidance in someone there to be with you.

467
00:36:23.480 --> 00:36:30.320
But secondarily that it is really that
highest level of advanced type of quote

468
00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:34.880
meditation or whatever you want to call
it, that for some reason brings forth

469
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:38.719
all of these things and really creates
the healing that needs to heal you know,

470
00:36:39.039 --> 00:36:45.800
there's so much science now behind the
quantum field, the energy that's there,

471
00:36:46.599 --> 00:36:52.559
the meditation to whatever degree people do
that, and the healing and literally

472
00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:58.559
being able to see the physical changes, the biological changes at the cellular level

473
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:02.960
that are occurring because of that.
And what I hear you saying is that

474
00:37:04.039 --> 00:37:10.519
your breath methodology is literally putting them
up at that PhD level. You know,

475
00:37:12.199 --> 00:37:15.199
that's funny, Doug and I,
but I hate to create a higherarchy

476
00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:22.639
of meditation or higherarchy of healing practices
like the sitting meditation. There's amazing stuff

477
00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:24.920
that comes from it, right,
and even again, if we're going to

478
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.960
do it just a few times a
week most of the time for the majority

479
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:30.719
of us, it's gonna be boring, right, It's gonna be sitting there

480
00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:34.599
watching my thoughts. Oh, and
there I go. Then I was suddenly

481
00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:37.960
futurizing about the argument that I'm gonna
have. This is what I'm running when

482
00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:40.239
I see my colleague, this is
what I wish I would have said to

483
00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:44.519
her, so rehashing the past and
then projecting into the future. This is

484
00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:46.280
what I'm gonna tell them when I
go to the office or you know,

485
00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:50.599
back to the breath, back to
the mantra, and now I'm doing my

486
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:54.760
to do list or my shopping list
whatever. Back to the mantra. Most

487
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:58.840
of the time is that once in
a while we have that moment of no

488
00:37:59.079 --> 00:38:04.360
thought and clear and in profound peace. But the benefit of being willing to

489
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:07.840
do that work of going back to
the thought of the mantra is going back

490
00:38:07.880 --> 00:38:12.679
to what we've started talking about,
the self awareness. Right, So when

491
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:16.920
the rubber hits the road and I'm
about to go and say something or do

492
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:22.000
something that later I'm gonna regret and
it's going to go south and it's not

493
00:38:22.119 --> 00:38:27.239
going to end well, it's that's
where that meditation practice of self observation,

494
00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:31.320
of watching our thoughts and our emotions, that's where it comes really helpful because

495
00:38:31.639 --> 00:38:37.760
it advise us that moment of grace
and that moment of choice that allows us

496
00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:42.480
to make a choice rather than just
react and regret. So, I mean,

497
00:38:42.599 --> 00:38:45.519
that is priceless to be able to
do that. And what have you

498
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:51.559
observed with your clients? And you
talk a lot about relationships, so let's

499
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:54.760
just talk about that for a short
time. What have you observed with some

500
00:38:54.880 --> 00:39:00.760
of your clients as they go through
this process and go through the the bread

501
00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:05.480
technique that you're teaching and so forth. What results have you seen, particularly

502
00:39:05.559 --> 00:39:09.440
in relationships, because I think that
becomes one of the biggest challenges that we

503
00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:13.639
all experience to some degree, and
you've brought it up a number of times.

504
00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:19.599
Those relationships can be so challenging and
oftentimes end up not being relationships anymore.

505
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:23.280
What has been some of your personal
experiences with clients where you have observed

506
00:39:23.280 --> 00:39:30.880
this helping them to the degree that
it really has resolved and helped a relationship

507
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:34.320
to get to a level that it's
never been before. Oh my god,

508
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:37.519
so many examples of that. Because
once we understand why we do the things

509
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:43.280
we do, especially when you've got
both partners working together, and rather than

510
00:39:43.320 --> 00:39:45.039
blaming them and pointing the finger and
you did this and you did that,

511
00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:51.079
it's like we're using all that stuff
that comes up in our relationship to speed

512
00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:55.840
up our own process of work and
healing and clearing and transformation, rather than

513
00:39:57.159 --> 00:39:59.880
blaming the other person, which is
what most of us end up doing.

514
00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:04.440
So if we use the relationship consciously
and and you know, make some safe

515
00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:07.239
assumptions, if it's there, it's
here, right, So how do,

516
00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:09.440
how do I do that? How
do and it's going to look completely different.

517
00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:13.119
And again it's a huge conversation.
Like I'm writing a whole book about

518
00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:16.199
this, my second book, it's
about relationships. But here's here's a great

519
00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:22.760
example of what we were talking about, the ways that we sabotage our relationships,

520
00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:25.719
sometimes even before the get go.
So this is a woman that came

521
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:30.639
to several of my retreats. Highly
successful, like vice president of a global

522
00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:37.199
multinational and like real vice president,
not like you know, like in banking

523
00:40:37.239 --> 00:40:40.360
that you have every bank, every
other person's vice president. It's like a

524
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:46.960
real vice president. And yet in
her personal life like had never and this

525
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:52.119
is probably in her middle fifties when
she came to me, had never had

526
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:55.599
a relationship. Okay, yeah she
dated, and yeah she'd had quasi relationships,

527
00:40:55.599 --> 00:41:00.920
but never a real authentic one.
Through her work with breath work,

528
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:06.079
she's one of these people that I
was talking about who started recovering memories about

529
00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:08.960
sexual abuse and started making all these
connections. Like she had moved back into

530
00:41:09.039 --> 00:41:14.960
the town of her childhood and hadn't
realized that she was living down the street,

531
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:20.199
literally like three blocks down the street
from from the person from the perpetrator

532
00:41:20.239 --> 00:41:22.760
who had abused her as a child. Wow, And it's like mean that

533
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:29.440
goes to show how much of this
is driven subconsciously. And so through her

534
00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:32.039
work, you know, like I
remember the last session of this last retreat

535
00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:37.119
of like you know, we do
multiple breath work sessions over a weekend.

536
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:43.639
Retreating the last session, she realized
that that she saw herself in a dark

537
00:41:43.719 --> 00:41:45.800
room and realized that she was the
one that inside the room, and that

538
00:41:45.840 --> 00:41:50.800
she was the one who wasn't let
herself out, and that only she could

539
00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:52.840
let herself out. And so there
was a part of her because her father

540
00:41:52.880 --> 00:42:00.159
had been absent, that she identified
this person that her abuser was also like

541
00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:04.079
a father figure. So she didn't
want to completely let go of it,

542
00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:09.079
right because she had gotten interpreted so
much meaning because of that of that special

543
00:42:09.119 --> 00:42:15.280
attention that she got from this man. And so in finally letting herself out

544
00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:21.400
and owning all of it, like
that was on a Sunday on Tuesday,

545
00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:22.639
she was having lunch for the furnish
and the friend goes, oh, I

546
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:25.599
don't know what, I hadn't thought
about this, but you need to meet

547
00:42:25.639 --> 00:42:30.000
my friend. So and so within
two weeks, I had lunch. Long

548
00:42:30.039 --> 00:42:36.960
story short, I married them and
they're still in this amazing kick has you

549
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:42.039
know like relationship that's that's where their
shirts passion not only in the bedroom,

550
00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:45.760
but outside of the bedroom and there
and they're they're using that relationship to help

551
00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:52.000
each other grow and fulfill her potential. So how does how does that work?

552
00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:55.079
From breathing? I mean, and
I know it wasn't just the bathwork.

553
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:58.719
It's but you know, it was
a combination of all the work that

554
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:02.719
she did with me before leading up
to that moment. But that's the kind

555
00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:07.480
of freedom and empowerment that's accessible to
any of us. Yeah, and it's

556
00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:10.800
you know, it's so miraculous and
people don't believe it, and yet it

557
00:43:10.920 --> 00:43:15.280
is so true. And I have
heard so many stories of that type of

558
00:43:15.320 --> 00:43:20.880
emotional healing, physical healing, all
of those type of things that are just

559
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:24.039
amazing. So as we come to
a close, what I'd love for you

560
00:43:24.119 --> 00:43:28.199
to do is just take a moment
and share with the audience. If you

561
00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:31.639
just could take all the messages you
want to give and pile it into one

562
00:43:31.719 --> 00:43:42.360
short message, what would that be? That's a great question that don't matter

563
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:49.480
what happened to us, and that
no matter what happens going forward, one

564
00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:53.199
thing that we can know for sure
that life is going to continue throwing curveballs

565
00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:57.840
our way. And so that no
matter what happened, and no matter what

566
00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:01.199
happens, we get to choose who
we are and that we can break free,

567
00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:06.000
and that there is a way that
we can step into our personal power

568
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:09.360
and to express all of our potential
in a way that is a match for

569
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:15.960
us and that we all have access
to. That that is our divine birthrate.

570
00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:20.639
Wonderful, wonderful. And so the
book Awakening the Soul of Power.

571
00:44:20.679 --> 00:44:23.320
How do people find it? It's
available wherever books are sold. You can

572
00:44:23.400 --> 00:44:27.519
order it at your local bookstore if
you want to support them. It's also

573
00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:34.159
available on Amazon Okay great. And
if people want to find you and are

574
00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:37.800
interested in these retreats or you know, whatever it is that you provide for

575
00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:43.320
people, how do they find you? Probably the best way is my website

576
00:44:43.519 --> 00:44:49.440
Soulfulpower dot com s o U L
f U l pow r dot com.

577
00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:52.639
And from there they can access my
social media and for your audience, Dog,

578
00:44:52.679 --> 00:44:58.519
anybody who comes to Soulfulpower dot com
and gets on my email list,

579
00:44:58.559 --> 00:45:00.960
and we know how easy it is
click unsubscribe down the road if it doesn't

580
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:07.960
work for you, But anybody who
goes, will send them a sample chapter

581
00:45:07.079 --> 00:45:10.000
of the book. And it's a
book that talks about what it means to

582
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:13.800
be a hero in the twenty first
century, right, So going back to

583
00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:19.360
that heroic work that you and I've
been talking about. It will send them

584
00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:24.239
some guided guided meditation that I created
in the midst of the pandemic, which

585
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:34.039
talks about how to achieve that place
of of of self acceptance and trust even

586
00:45:34.079 --> 00:45:38.519
in the midst of chaos. And
we'll send them some questions, some practices

587
00:45:38.559 --> 00:45:43.480
that are designed to integrate the teachings
so that they don't stay at the level

588
00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:46.480
of information. We don't need more
information, we get information overload. What

589
00:45:46.519 --> 00:45:52.599
we need is transformation and that only
comes from taking on and living from practicing

590
00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:58.480
from a set of teachings. And
that's what that's what will send your audience.

591
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:02.519
Yeah, well, thank you,
and thanks so much Christian for being

592
00:46:02.559 --> 00:46:07.880
on the show. This has been
enlightening to say the least, so I

593
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:12.840
really appreciate it. And folks,
I hope you're listening, and I hope

594
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:15.239
you'll go and really get to his
website, look at the book, look

595
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:20.400
at what he has to offer,
because I can tell you that from personal

596
00:46:20.440 --> 00:46:25.000
experience, these type of things can
be of such great value to your personal

597
00:46:25.079 --> 00:46:30.760
development and to ultimately your happiness enjoying
your life. So again, Christian,

598
00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:32.960
thanks for being on the show.
Thank you, Thank you so much for

599
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:36.920
having me on the show. Doug, and thank you for having the show

600
00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:40.639
because I know that in your willingness
to do that, many many lives are

601
00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:45.400
being reached in a real way,
in a profound way, and we're all

602
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:51.760
in this together so well, So
thank you for being willing to make a

603
00:46:51.800 --> 00:46:54.119
difference in so many lives through your
work. Thank you well, thank you,

604
00:46:55.719 --> 00:46:59.599
and folks, we look forward to
having you join us against him.

605
00:47:00.119 --> 00:47:07.320
The camp and Trett returned Pretent and
Britair