An Unimportant Girl

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This program is designed to provide general
information with regards to the subject matters covered.

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This information is given with the understanding
that neither the hosts, guests,

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legal counseling, professional service, or
any advice. You should seek the

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services of competent professionals before applying or
trying any suggested ideas. At the end

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of the day, it's not about
what you have or even what you've accomplished.

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It's about what you've done with those
accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted

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up, who you've made better.
It's about what you've given back. Denzel

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Washington, welcome to inspire Vision.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

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of others and to inspire you to
do the same. Vivian Tonabel, how

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are you doing today? I'm doing
just great. Thank you for having me.

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Well, it's wonderful to have you
on the show. It sounds like

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you have a wonderful story. I
would love for you to share with the

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audience a little bit about your background
and how you came to this point in

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your life and the reason that you're
coming on podcasts and wanting to share your

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story. Yeah, I had definitely
many strikes against me. I was born

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at the height of World War Two
in Berlin, the epicenter of Nazi Germany,

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so it was pretty I had a
very tough beginning. I was deemed

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stateless because I'm an illegitimate child,
and therefore I was not given nationality,

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and so that was the first strike. I belonged to an no country.

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And then the aftermath was very tough. You know, cold and hunger was

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a constant. It was a struggle, especially for a single mom with two

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young daughters to make ends meet.
So my mother she worked in the black

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market, striking deals just to get
food on the table. So it was

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one great, big struggle. And
then at age six, I entered school

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and wanted to do so well,
but I had a rude awakening in a

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sense that I could not follow the
concepts of the teacher. And so by

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the end of that school year,
I was condemned dumb to my mother by

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my teacher. So that was a
second strike, and that resulted in low

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self esteem. And then we immigrated. The story also of immigration, you

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know, many German immigrants went to
Canada or the United states to seek a

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better life, and so did we
at when I was thirteen, and I

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it was very hard there too,
the beginning. We had to overcome many

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hurdles, but I somehow managed to
build a new life for myself, just

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walking that long path to self discovery
and self fulfillment and go ahead. Yeah.

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And then at the age twenty I
met my husband, also another German

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immigrant, and he had believed in
me, and he encouraged me to learn

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and grow, and so I developed
and we had a life of success.

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But you know, success never is
there's always a challenge. It is life

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changes. So at the age of
seventy, I was diagnosed with breast cancer

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and that's when I became deeply spiritual. Studied the wisdom of the great minds,

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the philosophers, the great thinkers,
and they helped me make sense of

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the world and showed me the way. And so I studied their wisdom for

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many years. And at age seventy
six, I published my first book,

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and that was my life story.
It was called from Rubble to Champagne,

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Rising from the Ashes of War tone
Berlin through Life of Grace, beauty and

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Gratitude. So I and this book
was quite successful. It was turned into

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a documentary film which is out now
on Amazon Prime. It's a full length

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documentary about my life. And after
that, I published my second book,

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which was called A Lessons Learned about
Life and love, living with intention and

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the wisdom of great minds. And
now I turned eighty. Up in cancer

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free for ten years and I turned
eighty and I feel like life is becoming

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more and more fascinating as I age. And I wrote my third book which

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was just released, The Art of
Aging, The Beauty, Richness and Possibilities

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Wonderful. And in your buier you
talk about the fact that you really got

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to the point of committing suicide and
then a miraculous intervention came about that helped

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you to preserve your life. Could
you share it with the audience a little

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bit about that. Yes, yes, I went to night school, you

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know, after first I had gone
through sexual abuse at my first job,

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which was at the age of fourteen, where I had to leave because of

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that. Then I worked at a
five Intentions to a Woolworth behind the lunch

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counter, and I actually enjoyed it
because I was I always like to please

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and serve and do some you know, made sandwiches with care at heart.

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And but I did realize, you
know, in order to improve my station

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in life, I would have to
learn more. So I entered night school,

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and I learned how to type and
stenography. And so I landed this

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job at Volkswagen Sales and Service,
that iconic car dealership, you know.

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And there I worked up in the
accounting department. It was one big room

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with many desks, and the people
I worked with were more than twice my

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age. There was no camaraderie,
no connection, and aspired into deep depression

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at the age of seventeen. And
this is I had already purchased a small

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used car, and I had rented
the duplex. And I heard somewhere when

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you close the garage door, start
the motor, carbon monoxide would render you

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unconscious and you drift to your ultimate
end. That's exactly what I did.

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I closed the marsh door, started
the motor. I don't know how long

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I had the motor going, must
not have been long. And a little

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girl, all of a sudden appeared
in front of me. She must have

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been around six six years old or
so. She asked me, what are

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you doing? And I immediately shut
off the motor opened the glass door and

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I told her weekly I'm going to
wash my car, and she skipped off

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blisfully unaware that she just saved my
life. So that was a miraculous intervention.

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And I thought later on where did
she come from? She must have

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come through a side door that I
was not aware of. It was not

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meant to be. So I clung
to a glimmer of hope and went back

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to my life. What else could
I do at seventeen? You do?

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You don't understand that life is not
static. It changes. And I want

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young people to know that whenever someone
feels depressed or gets sucked into a hole

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as deep as I died, where
you actually want to commit suicide, you

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have to cling to hope and believe
that life changes even if we don't want

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it to. It is not static. It changes. Better is coming,

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you know? That is my message
to young people. Yes, and I

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love that because so many times people
live in the here and now, and

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particularly are young people, and the
reality is as you said, and I

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think this is just wonderful that you
share this message that here you are ready

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to commit suicide, and miraculous thing
happens. You stop and now look at

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your life and what you've been able
to accomplish. Life changes and that message

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to young people, I think is
so important, and even to older people

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who are experiencing the same type of
thing. Let's talk about your second book

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again. Would you let the audience
know again, what was the name of

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that second book you wrote? That
is called Lessons Learned about Life and Love,

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Living with intention and the wisdom of
great minds. You can see I've

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become a student of life. You
know. I had so many experiences that

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were harsh and I think they made
their mark on me. And I've learned

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in that process and I want to
share this with other people and let them

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know things get better and to look
for the good even in adverse situation and

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you will find it. Well,
and let's talk about that. In your

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opinion, what does it mean to
live with intention? Well, you have

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to be first of all, reinforce
your belief in the preciousness of life.

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This is what I did, and
set and set goals for your life.

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You know, live in the moment, but have a vision of where you

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want to go. That is what
I would say. And purpose is so

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important. We need purpose in our
life, you know it has to be

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you know, in work it's doing
something significant, but in love, it's

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caring for someone. The purpose gives
life meaning. And it's also the power

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of resilience, the power of resilience. Resilience, Yeah, you become resilient.

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You become resilient when you go through
tough times. We must not complain

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and say, oh, you know, be the victim. That would be

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wrong. Just ask yourself, what
have I learned from this? You know,

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what, what have I learned from
this? And also every challenge we

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face, it brings us to a
higher level of awareness and appreciation. So

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there's something good and the challenges.
Yeah, and you mentioned something interesting and

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that has to do with gratitude.
And as you're talking about this, and

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you know, it's fascinating because we
all go through different types of experiences in

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our lives. And as you experienced, there was a point in time where

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you were ready to commit suicide and
then even after that you striggle a great

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deal. But hear what you're saying
now is as you look at those experiences

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and then somehow find a way to
express gratitude, discover what was positive about

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that experience? How did it change
your life for the good and express gratitude.

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That makes a huge difference in being
able to continue to move forward and

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start to move past those experiences that
could ultimately affect you negatively, but with

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gratitude, they affect you positively.
Is that basically what you're saying. That's

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exactly what I say. I believe
that gratitude is the cornerstone to building a

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life of happiness. You know,
this significant insight. Really it makes me

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think, you know, and look
at the brief span of time that is

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my life, our life. It's
really a brief span of time when you

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when you look at the realm of
things. I look at that brief span

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of time and then I am grateful
for all I am and all that have

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experienced. Gratitude is so important.
It leads to happiness absolutely. So you

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mentioned also that with that book you
talk about the great minds that you've met.

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Can you share a little bit about
that, and you know, who

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are some of these people that you
met, and what are some of the

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things that you learned from vision that
you refer to as great minds. I

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think I think all I've learned is
from the great minds. Really, that

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that all the wisdom that I have
is from the great minds like Victor Franket,

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for instance, was one of the
beautiful person who was in the concentration

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camp, you know where where he
lost his wife. And I mean it

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was just terrible, and yet he
had showed strengths and he always believed in

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purpose. You know, life has
to have meaning, even if we even

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what his words were, even if
you uh in in the adversity, you

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know, like we can deal with
adversity as long as it has meaning.

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You know, it has to have
meaning. And so to find meaning in

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life is so very important. And
also then then other like once Dwayne Dayer

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is a beautiful a man. He's
passed away. Now. I've never met

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him, but read many of his
books. And I remember the first book

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I read from him, that was
I have always been a secret in the

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searcher. Really, I've always tried
to understand more than the average young person.

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I was always a secret and a
searcher. And I bought that book.

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It must have been, oh,
let's say, about maybe forty years

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ago something like that. It was
called pulling your Own Strings. How he

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mentions that, you know, we
need to be we need to know that

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we can make it even if we
are left behind we are alone. For

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instance, in every love song it
says, oh, I will die if

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I lose you. We must not
make us dependent. We need to be

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we need to believe that even if
we lose it first, we still can

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go on, you know, because
I'm right now with faced with another challenge.

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My husband is greatly ill, and
he is the love of my life,

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and to the thought of losing him
is just it's just very, very

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hard. And yet I've come to
that strength that I know I can go

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on, you know. And I
think that's very important too. Oh that's

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wonderful, yes, And you know
it's interesting. So often people don't really

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spend a lot of time reading and
researching those types of things, and I

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think the key to a very healthy
and happy life really is important to be

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able to have that curiosity to read
others and read some of these people,

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as you say, who have been
espoused as great minds, who have written

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wonderful books. Now, even with
you, I mean, with your years

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of experience, you have written this
book. And I would guess that if

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someone reads that book, they're going
to gain insights into their life. It's

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going to make a difference and as
you talk about doctor Frankel and when Dyer,

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these are great men that wrote,
you know, some incredible books and

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the wisdom that they share is so
important. And so I think for the

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audience, particularly those right now that
may be struggling with some depression or anxiety

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or just feeling liking in life isn't
really what I want it to be.

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Being able to make the choice to
actually find some of those books and start

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to read some of those uplifting books
that will give them ideas and philosophies that

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can help them to literally change their
life. I think that is qu is

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such a Yeah, that's what you
did, and I think it works.

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It really it works because they also
polls, you know, poetry instills values,

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gets us values and the wisdom of
the great minds they show us the

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way. If it's not enough to
just read about it apply their wisdom,

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you know, just to read about
it and knowing is not enough. We

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need to apply it our in our
own life experiences. And that's what I

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do. And believe me, it
works, It works, and I believe

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it. I mean, I think
you are you are a prime example of

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how that's working. I mean,
as I think about your story. Here

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you were growing up in Germany with
a single mom, and then going to

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Canada and still struggling and almost committing
suicide, and then all of a sudden,

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as you move forward in your life, here you are now almost eighty,

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you say, and you're eighty years
old, You've written three books,

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You've had a wonderful marriage, and
have been involved in a very successful business

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with your husband. What a story
of how someone can take a life of

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struggle and literally make a choice,
and there are consequences to every choice,

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the consequences for you to make the
choice to not commit suicide and to move

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forward with your life has created this
amazing life for you of being an author

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and having a wonderful relationship and experiencing
happiness, and also being in the mental

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state at this point in time where
as you're struggling and recognizing that you're going

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to ultimately lose that love of your
life, you still can move forward and

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experience happiness and gratitude in your life. To me, that is just a

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wonderful example. Really, when you
have that feeling, and I do have

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that feeling, I see my days
evolving really well every day, and I

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believe that there's a great power also
in not allowing any unloving thoughts to emanate

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from your mind. You know,
just just think loving thoughts. I think

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love is so powerful, and what
I mean especially unconditional love, loving without

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an object, you know, no
expectations, no judgment, and no moralizing.

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That is a beautiful kind of love. And it is also often misunderstood

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or dilutes many people because they see
love only as a sentiment and affection.

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But what it really is experiencing the
harmon means of life. Yes, yes,

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that is so true, beautiful thing. And so if you can have

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that, and if you if you
get angry and you have had hostility or

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a difference within you, you know
that will affect you, That infects that,

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that infects your body and your mind, and it will not bring anything

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good into your life. Loving thoughts
is what you want to want to play,

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the right thoughts, and they should
be loving thoughts. I believe in

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that very strongly well, and I
love that. And when you combine loving

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thoughts and kindness and gratitude in your
lives, and then a curiosity to experience

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more and understand what other people have
experienced, that can give you wisdom and

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as you say, if one is
willing to actually apply that wisdom in their

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own life, it can really make
a difference in their life and all the

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difference. And I also want to
stress stress the importance of being positive.

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You know, be positive when things
are not going well, surely you know,

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don't just see what's not going well. Look for that tiny crumb of

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good. That's what I always do, even even when things are in adversity.

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You will find a little tiny crumb
of good and build on that and

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pretty soon your pile of good will
go. That is and being optimistic,

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you know, it's so important positivity
and optimism that cheers you on in everything

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we do in life. And that
is so true. One wonderful example and

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the story of your life that you're
willing to share with people. And I

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guarantee you that as people read your
books and listen to this podcast another podcast

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that you're doing, you're going to
touch someone and it's going to make a

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difference in their life for not only
that moment, but for the future.

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And I want to just commend you
for being willing to share your experiences.

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It's not easy to be that vulnerable
to be telling you that you just said

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it. When I wrote my first
book, My Life Story, I just

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put it all on paper, and
I said to myself, you know,

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this is even though I moved around
in higher circles and i live a life

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of luxury, but I've never forgotten
where I came from. And it was

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so important for me to always stay
grounded, you know, to stay grounded

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no matter how successful you become,
and give back, you know, give

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back, and that's what I'm doing
with my books. And also I wanted

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to mention you know, my life's
story is actually on film. There's a

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documentary film that was made of this
first book, and it is now available

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on Amazon Prime where you can see
my whole life story as I talk and

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and go through that whole life.
It's quite interesting. And and again the

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name of the film on Amazon Prime
as well, it's it's not like the

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book. It's it's it's it's my
life story, which was called from Robert

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to Champagne. But the film is
called an Unimportant Girl. Okay, so

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the film is called an Unimportant Girl. I'm you know, I'm going to

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get on Amazon Prime and watch that
because I think that's so essential. I

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think it was it I hope it
develops empathy because there's a lot of there's

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a lot of humanity depicted in the
film, you know, So I I

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think it's good for young people as
well. And it's historical, you know,

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it's a lot about the history how
Bilin was divided and then we were

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closed off and we had no food
and the Americans launched a year long yearlift

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in nineteen forty eight and dropped surprise
on our city. You know, all

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those things, it's all depicted in
the film. Well, and that's wonderful.

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So Vivian, thank you so much
for being on the show. The

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insights that you have shared, and
the willingness to be vulnerable and to share.

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Also the name of this movie that
we can watch, I think is

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just amazing. So I appreciate so
much that you've been on the show and

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thank you for having me. And
it was a privilege to be in conversation

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with you. Yes, and folks, I hope you'll listen to the show

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and recognize that life changes, and
if you're experiencing some negativity right now,

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recognize that life can change. And
it's just really important to develop that gratitude,

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to develop that curiosity and to develop
the ability to make those changes as

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you seek other people to give you
better ideas about how you can live your

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life. So thanks for being on
the show, and folks, thanks for

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listening. Look forward to having you
join us again soon