WEBVTT
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This program is designed to provide general information with regards
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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,
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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek
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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any
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suggested ideas.
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At the end of the day, it's not about what
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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what
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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,
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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.
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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is
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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you
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to do the same.
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Mary Bath, welcome to the show.
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Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to
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be here.
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I love having you here, so I'd love for you
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to share with the audience. I find that the backstory
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is always so amazing, and I'd love for you to
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share with the audience how you got to this point
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in time, a little bit of your background and what
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brought you to this point in what you're doing.
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Well, it definitely wasn't the plan. So it has been
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a journey. I was born in the seventies, and the
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seventies were a lot different than life is today, right,
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like with parenting and things like that, parenting styles. I
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had some childhood trauma and a lot of that I
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believe leads to addictions. And that's part of my story,
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is addiction. And I got really caught up an alcohol
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addiction for over thirty years of my life actually, so
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today today I'm the founder of Day one Life Coaching
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and I help people break out of addictions. And I
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also got caught up in toxic relationships and food addiction.
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Like usually if you've got that tendency which can stem
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from childhood trauma, it can stem from being a sense
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more sensitive soul, like you can feel energies and you know,
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get overwhelmed easily. A lot of that is we're just
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seeking relief, right, it's self soothing. We're trying to self
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medicate and feel better. That's all it is, you know.
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And you know, we criminalize a lot of addiction, but
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where does it start? Usually in childhood, and so I
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try to help people out like these days, Like, once
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you get out of that darkness, it almost feels mandatory
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to me, Like to me, it's like we have to
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help other people. And so that's what I've been doing
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in my forties, is spending my forties as a life preach. Well,
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I'm fifty now, but I didn't start this journey of
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life coaching and helping people out of addiction until my forties,
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and field I wasn't ready. I was still involved in
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the addiction.
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Well, you know, and it's interesting you talk about that
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childhood trauma that can cause that, and and I know
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based on talking to other people too, that there's even
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that DNA memory. If we go back into our ancestors,
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all of a sudden, we realize that some of this
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is there just from DNA and then the ability to
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overcome it. That's the key is how do you overcome that? So,
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sure you start a little bit, how what was your
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process and what finally brought you around to the point
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that you were able to overcome not only the addiction,
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but as you say, oftentimes you end up in relationships
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that are not healthy either.
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Yeah, well, I wanted to go back to since you
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brought up the DNA memory, I wanted to go back
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to that because I didn't even know and tell my
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forties that my grandfather was a severe my dad's dad
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was a severe alcoholic and very abusive to my dad.
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So he actually died. I never met him because he
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died when my mom was pregnant with me. And I think, like,
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a lot of this is genetic, a lot of it's
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in our DNA, and we just have no idea like
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I learned. I learned that from honestly, from a psychic.
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Psychic told me about my grandfather, and I met my
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My family never talked about these things. And I asked
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my dad and he was like, that's everything she said
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is spot on true. And he was very emotionally distant.
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I mean, he's eighty one now and he's still alive,
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but he didn't talk about his family. He didn't talk
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about these things. And that was him doing his best, right,
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Like he's doing his best based on his personal experience
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with his father, you know. So he was shut down
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and you know, but he wasn't like abusive like his
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father was. But my parents were divorced when I was five,
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and yeah, a lot of that stuff causes ancient anxious
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attachment styles. I had, this abandoned meant wood when my
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parents got divorced. My brother has some issues, my sister,
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My sister has issues. She completely divorced the whole family.
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We haven't talked to her in like twelve thirteen years
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probably now, you know, just a lot of these things.
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Just we all deal with it differently, right. My brother
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was admitted to a psych ward when he was a child,
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and I was the middle child. I became like I
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did addiction. I did. That was my way of handling it, right.
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We all handle it differently. So, yeah, and that anxious
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attachment style led to toxic relationships, right, because when you're
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a child. And gabor Mate said this, I'm giving him credit,
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but gosh, it really hit home when he said this.
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Gabor Mate is a trauma expert, and he said, when
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you don't feel wanted as a child, you want to
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make damn sure that you're needed, you know, so you
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become a people pleaser. You become over accommodated, and honestly, like,
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what I know now is that people pleasing we're not
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being authentic, right, We're not being ourselves. We're kind of
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little liars if we're being honest about it. Because we're
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just telling people whatever they want to hear. You know,
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we're like me too, me too, because we don't want conflict.
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We want people to love us. We want people to
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like as it comes from a good intention, correct, But
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at the end of the day, it still is what
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it is. We are not being our true, authentic selves.
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And what do you attract when you're people pleasers? You
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tend to attract manipulators. Maybe some narcissists people they can
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see us coming from a mile away. When you're people,
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you're easy to manipulate, right, So that's why you see
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a lot of these endpaths. And you know, narcissists get together.
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It's a thing like it's stuff very very common for
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those people to connect and attract and on an energetic level,
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on a subconscious level, all the levels. So we do
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tract things that are in our programming, our patterns from childhood.
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And I didn't know this, you know, this is something
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that I know now since I've been I've studied it
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my whole life. I've always been a spiritual seeker personal development,
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very curious about all these things my entire life. So
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that's how I know. And I've had some spiritually transformative
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experiences that got me to the point that I am
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now that I'm very thankful for that. That is why
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I can say truly that I am addiction free and
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have got all of this stuff under control, alcohol free,
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and that was that was probably the one that was
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holding me down the most, that I was in denial
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of the moss. Like when I worked in the corporate world,
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I didn't I didn't love my life. A lot of
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people can probably relate to this, you know, if you're
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in the corporate world or you're you just let's just say,
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you don't like your job. You wake up every morning
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and you're unhappy, You're not joyful. We're supposed to be joyful.
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We're supposed to be happy, passionate, you know, living our life.
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We're powerful creators. And when we're not creating and we
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wake up and we're like, oh, got to do this again,
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it leads to depression.
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You know.
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So that's something that we really want to look at,
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is because you know, we can get when we're not
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on our life path and we're doing stuff we really
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don't want to do. Of course, people are depressed, anxious.
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You're sitting in cubical world and for us in lighting.
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I'm not sure that humans are meant to be living
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that way.
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Well, you know, And the one thing we were talking about,
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and you actually brought it up again, is this DNA memory.
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And I want to talk about that a little bit
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because you have done something and you know, I think
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a lot of people, you know, what what's the struggle
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and what what's the motivation to finally overcome some of
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these situations and for a lot of people that self,
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I want to be better and so forth for a
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lot of people. Though, And as you said, your dad
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stopped the abuse that he got from his dad, So
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I guarantee you that, well I can't guarantee you this,
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but my guess would be that as he was able
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to do that, he wrote into his DNA a new
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pattern that says no abuse now that may or may
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not go on. Same experience with my dad. He came,
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you know, his dad came from Norway, and I know
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that there was some at least belts taken, you know,
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and so far, and yet he never There's six kids
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in our family, never were we spanked in any way
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that was abusive at all. And because of that, as
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you look now at all the grandchildren, which I think
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they're what thirty four to thirty five, that's not happening.
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And I think for people to understand that you can
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make a difference not only in your life, but you
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can make a difference in your posterity because you can
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start to change that pattern, it literally will re embed
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itself within that DNA, and so posterity doesn't have that
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proclivity to do that, and I think that's wonderful. So
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as you as you talk about some of your spiritual
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transformative experiences and so forth, I think that's I think
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that's always of interest to people as what what did
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you experience and how did that change your direction?
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If you don't mind, Yeah, yeah, To just address what
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you said about my dad real quick, he didn't. He's
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still he's he stopped a lot of the abuse, but
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it's a you know, it's a translow transition. He's still
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hasn't addressed fully like he's like I said, he's eighty one,
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he's emotionally, you know, still messed up from that experience.
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He hasn't fully healed. But I think he's he stopped
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a lot of the abuse. Right, He wasn't physically abusive.
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He he's still emotionally distant from us, and he just
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never really was able to be the dad. He was
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more of an absent father. But it's like I understand
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that now now that I was told by that psychic right,
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that what he went through and to forgive him. I'm like,
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oh my gosh, And that's the key is forgiveness, right.
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We got to forgive all this stuff and do all
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that shadow work. And I was able to understand him,
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and especially because he admitted everything, So that's good. You know,
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he is now has awareness of that. And that's what
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I was told, is like, you know, he's just forgive
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him because he didn't have a good example of how
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to be a father, you know. So really he wasn't
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in my life very much, which honestly, in retrospect, I
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think it was probably a good thing. I mean, we talk,
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we talked these days, but you know, most of my
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life he just wasn't around. He was an absent father.
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So to go back to your what was your question?
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And I'm sorry, I know you talked about the spiritual
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transformative Okay, yeah, formative experiences that you had, so you know,
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I find it really fascinating for me there as an
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aha moment where and it was at my dad's funeral. Okay,
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a sudden It changed my entire approach to what I
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wanted to accomplish in life. And I find that everybody
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has some type of moment like that. Sometimes it's gradual
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and sometimes it's just right there for you. Explain a
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little bit about that. Yeah, it's like the transformative spiritual
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situation for you was one of them.
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Yeah, I think we all have a lot of them
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throughout life. The most significant one that I had, which
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I think put me on this trajectory, Like I was
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only eighteen, but I think it had to happen in
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order for me to get down this road because I
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was a very selfish eighteen year old. My parents had
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already moved. I stayed in Houston by myself, where I
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grew up, and essentially I was always still a spiritual seeker,
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but I think I was pretty selfish. I was already
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drinking alcohol, partying, you know. I was just this like
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all about me person. But I still was a spiritual
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seeker because I always had paranormal experiences my whole life,
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even from childhood. So I was reading this book. I
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was afraid of death, so I was reading this book
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on near death experiences. So this is probably nineteen ninety two,
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and you know, not many people were into this stuff.
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No one talked about it. But because I had that
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fear of death, I was very interested in it. And
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we can have we can spiritually transformative experience, which I
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didn't even know that term until like last year because
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it wasn't coined, you know. So that's what I've learned
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what it was since then, because back in the day,