Lift Oneself

0:01 This program is designed to provide general information with regards to the subject matters covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back than Soel Washington, welcome to inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Natalie, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Doug, I look forward to this deep dive and playful conversation. Yes, I do too, And you like to go by Nat Nat, So if I call you Natalie versus Natinat, I'm not sure how that's going to go. But anyway, what I'd love for you to do is share with the audience your story and what brought you to this point of what you're doing now in your life. Well, ten years ago I almost died. I had lesions in my brain steming and my cerebellum, and I was hospitalized for almost forty days. So they had

1:32 to do a battery of tests, yet each test came back atypical, but not finding out what the cause was of these lesions, and so I was released from the hospital without a diagnosis. And without a diagnosis you don't have a plan, so it's almost like you're in the wilderness. I had another relapse when I left the hospital. They so they put me on pregmozone and morphine to help with the inflammation, yet still not really knowing what it was that was causing this. Thankfully, a year after, in twenty fifteen, I discovered meditation in the form of TM transcendental meditation, and that allowed me to go deeply within and do a lot of somatic releases. The teacher that was teaching me had told me at the beginning, she's like most people when they start meditation, they usually quit after a while because it just gets too much, and then they come back. And then I told her, I was like, I totally understand why they let go, because there's a lot of stuff that we tend to push down or avoid rather than feel our authentic emotions. So that TM and the meditation allowed me to go profoundly within my body, feel some emotions that I had never felt before, see the experiences and memories in a different perception, not just in the eye statement, really seeing it in a bird's eye. And also with the meditation, I was

3:06 a solo parent to twin boys, so they were five at the time, and usually when you learn meditation, they tell you to create a room that's quiet and peaceful, and if you have toys, you know that isn't possible. So I did the meditation in the living room while they were, you know, playing around being children and rambunctious, and I got to really discover the nervous system and how it wants to control every little thing and analyze and in the meditation allowed me like, no, that's not what you have to do. So it allowed me to see the impulsivity and their reactivity and see how we create stories. So with that, I just engaged more and more with the nervous system and a lot of the symptoms that I had corrected themselves.

3:55 And so with that, I really grew the self awareness, grew expanded the mindfulness. And then you know, when I was doing meditation, when I would speak to people, people were like, it's like you're in my head, like you're saying what I'm feeling, and you get me to the core where I'm able to be honest with you and I don't feel judged. Therefore, I started my company in twenty nineteen called Lift Oneself, and I meditated on the name because it was lift the ego, which are the defense mechanisms of the nervous system, so you can come into the oneself and that requires you to feel your vulnerability. Yet a lot of times during our childhood we created these defense mechanisms that protect us from feeling our vulnerability. So doing that and then you wrote the book, right, I haven't written a book yet. I'm in the process of right right now. Yeah, I know many people are like, where is your book, And I'm like, ah, I haven't done that. Ca I'm still parenting the twins. So they're fourteen now, and now I can have more space to start really opening up and doing that writing, because it takes a discipline to really be in that flow, in that structure. Okay, Yeah, when you sent me that picture, you know that I can publish when we do this, I thought it was a book, and that's why you know you've written that book.

5:24 But you know what I'd love for you to do though. You've used a lot of words here, and what I find is being able to define them for the audience, especially from where you're coming from, makes a huge difference. So you talk about meditation, but you talk about transcendental meditation. Could you explain what that is and how that might differ from some of the other meditations such as guided meditation or breathing meditation. Could you explain. Yeah, so TM, they create a mantra for you. So it's just a sound that they create that you repetatively say to yourself internally so that it distracts the mind and the nervous system, so that you can go profoundly deeply within yourself, because a lot of times we're identifying with our nervous system and our thoughts and we don't know how to keep a space and a separation from that, not to allow yourselves to recognize like that's not your identity. Yet you are so entangled in it. You don't realize that that's all you are thinking, You are in being. So TM creates a specific mantra for the person.

6:33 So whoever's teaching you, they speak with you and then they create that sound for you, and then it just allows you to go deeply and it gives you a regulation of the nervous system. So each meditation, what that's doing is allowing the defense mechanisms to be disarmed so that you can come into the vulnerability and the oneness and have a safety in your body. If you would allow me to permit, would I be able to guide us into a short meditation so I can show the listeners what that would look like. Yeah. Actually, I was going to ask you because you know, like I say, there's so many different meditations now I happen to listen to and I go back and forth. I listened to self age, self EDGEO, you know if you're familiar with that, And most of the time I'm listening to gongs that are doing that, yeah, right, And sometimes there's music which are by neural or HEMI sync and I listened to that. I actually found one where there was chanting of monks, which I thought Okay, that's really cool.

7:34 But yeah, I would love for you to share what you're doing and how you chant, because I think for the audience, everybody has a different experience with different types of meditation and I want to talk a little bit more about that in a minute, but yes, please share with us, And just to let the listeners know, I have moved away from TM and I anchor you in your breath because my main thing with meditation is to remove the narrative that meditation is only a sitting practice. It's actually to bring into your lived experience. At the beginning you have to do, you know, the sitting and regulating. Yet it's to take these practice in your every day.

8:16 So that's why, like I said at the earlier I was doing it in the living room with my twins, not just creating a safe environment, because that we can't control the world in people and nature. So it's like, how do you bring this practice so that you can live with the impermanence of life. So I'm going to I'm going to stop you there because you keep bringing up things that I want to talk about. You know, I actually do a walking meditation, so I think I think what you're talking about is so important because you know, I don't have time to, you know, to walk the ten thousand steps I want to walk every day, and you do a lot of other things and then meditate for an hour or whatever it happens to be. Is so I found that way meditation with those chants or those gongs or whatever it happens to be for me work very well. So I love the point that you make is that you know what, it's not that we have to sit there for twenty minutes, thirty minutes, an hour or two hours whatever to meditate. We can find that we can do that during the day if we learn to apply it. So anyway, so you're are you going to share the chanting even though you're not doing that anymore, or are you going to talk about the breath work, which I'm just going to show you what I do with my clients, and I'm going to give them a bit so that they can feel there's an energetic vibration that I send out that allows people to really regulate themselves and go deep that they didn't even know they could do on their own. So I'm going to guide us in

9:48 that. And is it okay for people to be driving their car while we're doing this. So as I'm going, I was just going to do some housekeeping, So I'm going to ask Doug and myself to close our eyes. Yet, as Doug has mentioned, most people listen to a podcast while driving or doing some physical activity that require your visual So I'll ask you not to close your eyes yet. The other prompt you're able to follow, and if you're starting to feel too regulated or relaxed, then just pause it or fast forward till when we can talk and then come back to the meditation when you're in a space where you feel like you can go more profoundly and more deeply.

10:31 Yet a lot of times you're able to the whole premise of what I'm teaching is to learning to anchor into your breath. Like I know everybody says, breathe, Yet the missing part is focus on your breath and still do your eyes. And I'm going to suggest for those that are driving, do not listen to this parta wait till you're actually in a place where you're safe. I think that's really important. Okay, yes, okay, So Doug Gall asks you to get comfortable in your seat and you're gonna gently close your eyes, and you're gonna begin breathing in and out through your nose, and you're gonna bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. If there's difficulty with that, then breathe in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth. You're not gonna try and control your breath.

11:26 You're just gonna keep your awareness on. Watching your breath. You'll notice a rhythm. There may be sensations or feelings that are coming up in the body. Let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go surrender the need to control, release the need to resist, and just be be with your breath. Drop into your body. Keep the awareness on your breath. There may be thoughts or memories popping up, where to do lists, It's fine, don't try to push it away. Just bring your awareness back to your breath. Stay with your breath while observing and going deeper into your body. You can be staying with your breath and going deeper into

12:58 the body, staying with your breath. I'm going to stop you there. This is going to get too difficult for some people if they're not if they're not in a safe place. Okay, I appreciate what you're doing, and I was really feeling that, by the way. So here's my question, because I know that as you did this, you had some amazing things happen. And you know, you talk about the emotional pain perhaps that you've experienced as a child, and some of those types of things that come up and for a lot of people and me personally, and I don't know why this is, and maybe because for years and years and years had been doing this, working on this, But how often do peop people actually have those subconscious emotions come up that they're not even aware of and suddenly it comes into their mind and they recognize that. Do you find that that's a fairly common thing or does it really take time for someone to work at this and practices to the point where suddenly that starts to happen. See, everybody's unique, and everybody has a different nervous system and different defense mechanisms, And it's the willingness.

14:31 So again, like you said, it's safety. What I know to be true about healing is the nervous system needs safety. So as you interrupted the meditation, you're like, wait, I don't want to make people safe, So the nervous system needs safety, and then you need radical honesty. You need to be honest with yourself. And a lot of times we don't even know how to be honest and feel our authentic emotions. And the third one is feeling. So a lot of times, like you said, the body is always sending us messages, yet we will push it down because it's something that we don't want to feel, we don't want to interact with. And so when somebody is now willing to do that healing and face themselves, it's allowing more and more of whatever the messages that are coming up to be able to face that. Because if you understand emotions, you understand that they're messengers. There's sensations that are coming to bring you messages. It doesn't mean that you have to take action with it. It's just a message. And so it's being able to feel that and doing that deep introspection of asking you some questions that will serve you in solutions, not keep you stuck in the past. And the self loathing and feeling, you know, a deep shame or guilt with experiences. Okay, so you were having me focus on my breath, and yet you are guiding me. So then again here comes the

16:02 question. There are some that say, you know, guided meditation you should avoid others that say no, that you need that guided medication, or you need some music behind you or chanting or whatever. Now you have a chance that you do, or at least you don't anymore anymore. Okay, So as you talk about this, is there an advantage to having someone such as yourself or as you're listening and finding it on you know, one of the channels to receive the guided meditation or do you find it just focusing on the breathing without any verbiage coming into your ears in your mind? What's the difference and what do you find is most effective. I think when people start to meditate, it's a lot of people need that guided meditation because they're interacting with their biology and it's a lot of sensations and feelings that they don't think they can navigate through, so they shut it off. And there are certain sensations that will activate your biology where your heart will palpitate, or you're finding that, oh, I didn't realize I was breathing so shallow and trying to go down into your belly and oxygenate So when I'm doing the meditation, what I'm doing is bringing you back into your body so that you can engage with your biology, where a lot of times people are stuck in their head. They don't even know how to drop into their body and start to notice how there's different sensations and feelings that are going on simultaneously, so better understanding. You

17:37 know, there's this narrative of get rid of anxiety rather than question and understand, well, why is it being activated? What is the thing that's activating this. There's another thing where it's said, don't fear. Well, a nervous system needs healthy fear, so there's no such thing as not having any fear. Especially if you start interacting with your intuition, it's going to activate fear because you're going into the unknown and uncertainty. So it's changing these narratives that we've been told to push away from our biology, where I'm bringing the curiosity of better understanding what's going on internally so that you can understand. You know, when people are talking about the executive function of the brain, the frontal lobe, how it gets disconnected if the nervous system is activated and you're in your limbic system the back of your brain. So the meditation allows that staircase to come back to that front executive and you can see solutions. Because what the nervous system has one function, don't die. And with that not dying, it has it's based in negative biases. So to regulate and be able to see the solutions and see the positive it takes warrior work to do that, especially if you've experienced a lot of pain in your life. Yes, and so here's another question you talked about. You know you're trying to get them back in their body. Now, I'm sure as you know, there are many out there that talk about the quantum field and many times they seek through guided meditation to have people move into that quantum field, which in

19:12 my mind is different than getting into your body. Can you explain what your views are on that. Well, you have to get into the body to be able to get into the quantum field, because you have to, like the defense mechanisms of the nervous system. Is that ego that people talk about that blocks us. So the nervous system is blocking you from your vulnerability. So to be able to disarm your nervous system to be into that vulnerability is allowing you to regulate and bringing harmony. I know a lot of people want quantum field and spirituality, yet we're here to live a human experience, and it's merging the two. It's not picking one over the other. Like I understand, the human experience is really painful and it's really challenging. Yet when you can face your pain and you can ask yourself with direct questions to see, Okay, well this is here. Now, how am I going to show up? How am I going to validate the emotions and the experiences that I'm feeling while being in that spirituality that I quantum feel that people speak about that oneness God, universe. Everybody uses different languages to speak about that oneness and that connection. So what I'm showing people is that the blockages where you're like, oh, I'm not in flow, It's like, well, is your nervous system dysregulated? Are you even aware of what's going on inside your body so that you cause your body is like a radio transmitter, so you're not able to get to the frequency if there's all kinds of static, And

20:45 the static is these emotions that are just stuck in the body that you have and their energy and you haven't released them so that you can have a clear channel and hear the clarity coming from within in externally soot. Yeah, if I hear what you're saying, then what you're really saying is we've got to really get into the body. And as you're saying, we'll talk a little bit more about the ego and the effect that that has on us. But as we get into the body and can really focus on that breathing to the point where we are starting to eliminate some of that stuff, then that gives us the ability then if we choose to move into the quantum field and focus in that area. And I find that very interesting. Now, another thing you did during the meditation was you said it's okay to breathe through your mouth, but your focus was just to breathe through your nose, both exhale and inhale. Can you share why and is that actually a more advantageous way to breathe and to focus on your breathing. When you can breathe in and out through your nose, it brings your focus and your awareness a lot more precise.

21:56 We're in a world where we're distracted so much because of technology, and it's very difficult to keep our attention span. So when you're doing that breath through your nose, you're able to take more deeper breaths, and you're also being aware of how shallow your breathing is. A lot of people don't even realize they're only breathing from like the neck up and don't understand that like that will create more anxiety. It will create more fear because all your cells aren't being oxygenated and you're not allowing all the muscles to expand. So when you're able to now breathe through your nose and then start to go more deeper and deeper into the body, you're recognizing, oh, the oxygen can go more profound down into the bottom of my lungs, down into my belly, so all of my cells can get oxygenated. And that's part of that wellness that you want, that health that you want for the body. Okay, So as you're doing that, man, as you say certain, you know, things come to your mind. I mean, are you thinking about I gotta do this tomorrow or whatever. But as you start to feel some of those emotions that are coming up, that may reflect something that you've never really thought about consciously, and yet you know that it's there. What do you say something to yourself or do you just observe them and do you let them go?

23:21 What? How do you deal with that it's failing them and there's going to be a turbulence in the body. So whenever there's some big emotions that are coming up that you haven't felt or you're experiencing things, there's your biology starts to create this tsunomi of sensations in there, and when you can focus on the breath, you're able to ride those waves. So a lot of people here surfing and riding the waves, the ebbs and flows of life. And so when that's coming up, then all of a sudden, there may be tears. A lot of times there's you know, when we are releasing, some people will have profound tears, And unfortunately tears have been labeled as sadness, where it's like no, tears are a plethora of emotions and it's expressions of the heart that you cannot just put into words because it's so much.

24:15 And so it's almost like releasing this steam from a pressure cooker and that there's this download that comes and you're able to see and connect within yourself in some in a more profound way. And you know, at times when there's too much coming up too, you're gonna need movement to be able to not push that sensation away yet allow yourself to have some movement to interact with it for it to still come up and have a better relation with it. And when there's things that come up, it doesn't mean like right then you'll be able to interact with it fully. It might be in small chunks that a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more that you can release. That's why it's say there's not a one size fits all with this, because everybody has different experiences, they have different responsibilities, and we all have different nervous systems. So it's given ourselves grace of Okay, I'm going to see that I have the capacity to see that I can face these things, I can feel it. And also I always have to create safety.

25:21 So if it's going in a space that feels way too overwhelming, you don't want to overload the nervous system because you're going to fall down. It's going to take a long time for you to get back up again. And so it's really understanding how to stretch yourself and not just you know, push yourself to a point where it's difficult to reconnect and rebuild back up your energy. And sometimes when those really severe ones come up, you just what kind of put them to the side and know that you're going to approach them later on as you've matured a little bit in your ability, you know, And you keep talking about fair you keep talking about stress. Have you done any research or have you seen some research about what happens to our physical body and our health when we are constantly experiencing stress or fear in our lives. Yeah, we do a lot of chemical jumps of cortisol. So our body is only supposed to make a certain amount of cortisol in the day. Yet if you're always you know, worrying or fearing certain things, your nervous system is okay activated because it thinks you want to run, you want to get away from something. Yet all you're doing is really rocking in a rocking chair.

26:36 You think, you know in your mind you're moving, but you physically are not moving. So those cortisol dumps start to add up. And then there's also adrenaline. So a lot of people are addicted to the adrenaline, like those people that procrastinate and wait last minute to do things. That's adrenaline junkie. And so you get that hit a surge and then you can do everything. Yet after a certain amount of time, your body isn't going to be able to withstand that. So it's learning different habits to be able to engage with tasks. But yeah, there's a chemical release. So that's why I'm engaging with people to come back into their body and see like when all of a sudden, you know, there's a noise that goes on you. If you are in your awareness of your body, you can feel that dump of chemical and those the goosebumps that pop up, or the hairs on your skin that pop up, and those are chemical reactions that are going on in your body. A lot of people aren't taught about our nervous system and all the different chemical reactions like oxytocin and adrenaline and cortisol and epinephrine and all these things.

27:44 Like our body is very it's an intelligence. So the medicine that you take your body is able to create also, Yet it's to be able to tap into those things well and it's amazing. How you know, you hear stories of people who literally have healed some fairly serious illnesses along with them, you know some other ones, but and through meditation. And why is that happening based on your experience, because I'm sure you've seen that happen with your clients. Oh, I'm living experience too, Like the lesions have left, and I was given a prognosis of death, and I was told that I wasn't going to walk again, I wouldn't be able to dance, I would need to walk with assisted devices. So I'm the lived experience also of seeing what the meditation has done and transformed in my life. And like I said, there's a lot of stored emotions that are energy that block us from really being in tune with our body, so creating that homeostasis. And sometimes people don't even know what homeostasis can be because of their experience and their childhood, and so being able to better relate with yourself, better relate with your biology.

29:00 A lot of times, especially if you experience physical pain in your body, you're berating your body, You're getting angry with yourself that you're not able to do what you could do at one time, rather than going through the grief and allowing yourself to have acceptance of what can I do now? And so there's always this misalignment. So meditation allows, like I said, that harmony of blending everything as a whole with a W rather than having holes with an H. And the meditation again allows that regulation of the nervous system, so all your systems can communicate again and not just be all separate. Well, and you know, as you start facing that subconscious pain or conscious pain that comes up and it suddenly becomes conscious as you start to face that, you know, I hear people use different words about letting it go and so on and so forth, you know, changing neurological pathways. In your experience, how do people take some of those tremendous childhood traumas that have occurred and let them go? Or do they let them go or do they put them to decide? What is your experience with that and what do you suggest to other people as they start to experience those emotions coming up. The only way you can let go is you have to feel you have to go through it.

30:25 But a lot of people want to bypass, like it's going to suck and it's going to be uncomfortable. I call it warrior work because there is also this narrative that vulnerability is harmful. So to rewire the safety in your body to be in that vulnerability, it's going to be feeling counterintuitive. It's going to bring up some visceral things. So you're going to be in a sacred space with yourself and you have to give yourself permission that I'm going to carve this time in this space to allow myself to do that deep healing, to feel parts of fragmented parts of myself that I separated, to integrate it back into myself. Yet it doesn't always mean it's going to happen in a one time Like a lot of times people think if I've you know, released the trauma, it's never gonna bother me again, and it's like, no, there's a wound there. So life is impermanent and certain experiences are going to activate that. Yet you're going to build the tools to not separate from yourself, to be able to navigate through those emotions and allow yourself a space to feel and let it go. Well, and you know, in your case, how long did it take? I mean, you know, many of us are just you know, I want it now, I want it now, I want it now. So I'm going to meditate for a week and see what happens. How for you, how long did it take for that healing to occur while you were actually starting that whole process of meditation and self care? What do you mean, like, what is the Because I'm

31:56 still on the journey of healing. So what are you asking when you started to actually have that aha moment of saying, you know what, I'm actually healing. I'm actually experiencing some healing. And obviously it is not all done as you say, but as you experienced the fact that, okay, I'm actually starting to experience healing. How long did it take of your self care, your meditation, those type of things before you were able to start to actually notice a change in your body. Well, I have because of the trauma. I have a mindset of a resilience. So when I came out of the hospital, because I was a solo parent, I engaged with the pain. So I faced the pain and I interacted with the pain, being on a backpack and still having to navigate the somatic release of the meditation, and that I learned a year after I would say the profoundness started to release.

32:57 I would say about six months that it started to really I could recognize what I was creating and changing of creating a lifestyle that would support my energy. Because that's the thing about healing too. A lot of people think that they're going to keep the same lifestyle and keep going. Where when you start doing the healing, you recognize, oh, certain things in my lifestyle are depleting my energy and I'm not to be around certain people or engaging with certain things, and you start taking the accountability and responsibility for you not going externally to find the quick fixes. It's like, oh, I got some work with rechanging my lifestyle. Yeah that's the question. Yeah, I love that because I think that you know, like I say, so many people think that, you know, I'm meditate for a week for a month and it's all going to be happening, especially if they're focusing on some healing processes, but realizing that it takes time and there has to be patience and consistency in anything, but particularly in meditation, there has to be the consistency for it to work. You know, you talk about ego and I shared this with someone else. The other day, I was listening to a lecture, and since I'm in Thailand, obviously, I listened to some Buddhist lectures and one of the things that I have just struggled with is this concept of non self.

34:24 And as I was thinking about it one day, all of a sudden, it just came to me that what he was talking about, at least in my opinion, was removing the ego, the self and becoming the non self. So it wasn't some kind of magical thing that you do, but it's rather you learn to remove the ego. So let's talk a little bit about what your thoughts are about the ego, What is it, how does it affect our lives, and how on earth do we remove it from our lives. Again, it's those defense mechanisms of the nervous system. You think you are the identity of these emotions and these belief systems, and the persona that you've created, this avatar to navigate like. You believe that you are the body. And once you can come out of disarming those defense mechanisms, you go into the non self. You see that your spirit, you see that you are part of the everything that's connected you recognize your energy yet to come into That's why it's so difficult to put it in verbiage of well, what is this thing? Like you're talking some Google stuff and this doesn't make sense. That's why I guide people into their body so they can recognize and engage with the ego, the defense mechanisms of the nervous system that are guarding you. It's like quantum physics. There's this feel that you have to traverse

35:55 through that's really uncomfortable, and it's going to sings. Yeah. Once you can pass through it, there's just this bliss of open space and you're just floating. And so that's the same premise of understanding viscerally what goes on in our biology. Yet it takes a regulation of okay, the defense mechanisms feel safe to surrender so that you can go back into this vulnerability. That's why when you see children at a young age and they can just be so playful and curious and you're like, why can I not have this? Well, they haven't been indoctrinated with all kinds of definitions. Like I just explained a different way to interact with anxiety and fear where you don't hear a lot of that in the mainstream narrative, and then people are trying to under well, what's wrong with me? And it's like, well, you're berating parts that you actually need to navigate in this world. Have you read the book by a car Tootally, a new work, Yes? And have you read the book Untethered Soul by Michael Singer? I have not yet, so I will take a note of that because, you know, it's interesting he talks about the ego not only just you know, dealing with the anxiety and so forth, but also about, you know, the things that we need to have, the recognition that we need to have all of the things that literally cause us stress in our lives, and we don't even realize it because we're always reaching for that thing because of the the reason that we get into arguments with

37:30 people, the reason that we see what's going on in the world today all has to do with ego. We have to be right. And so it's fascinating to understand that, you know what, we can experience a piece within ourselves, and I really believe we could see a greater piece within the world if we could just learn to let go of that ego. Well, like I said, the nervous system needs safety. When you're looking for the identity and the attachment and the accolades. It's safety like if I am successful, if I have this title, if I have this materialistic things, if I have this, then I have a sense of safety. But once you get it, you recognize it's fleeting and you're onto the next thing. And you're onto the next thing. It's like coming back into your body and recognizing, no, I'm safe to be with myself. But we've been programmed that we're not good enough, so we're looking for the good enough externally from ourselves, not recognizing like the alchemists, it's the journey back within, back into the self, back into your worth. Yet, if you are not looking inwardly and you keep looking out there, you're just like the don keyp chasing the carrot and you're like, why can't I not get this carrot? Like they keep telling me there's an arrival if I get here, and it's like, no, the arrival is your home is within yourself. It's that safety and validating yourself because is another thing where people think a healthy nervous system is always

39:04 being coomed by the eye and in bliss and it's like, no life is impermanent. A healthy nervous system is being able to disregulate and come back into regulation. So it's like a gas and brake pedal. You want to be able to navigate through that so that your biology can protect you because there is harmful things in the world where it's like if you are just in bliss and not doing anything while you're really probably in the fond of a nervous system, because there's still some things that you have to engage with unless you want to be a monk, you know, in a cave. Yet even the monk in the cave is listening to a stuition if there's an animal or something coming near, so that they can just react to it and then just let it go, not be all frazzled and create a story of oh my gosh, this and this and this and this could have happened. So it's better understanding what that is. That's true. In one of your writings, you talk about poor things, and let need to take you know, just a few minutes to talk about me because I think they're important. You talk about feeling, processing, integration, and releasing, So could you take a few minutes and talk about that. So the feeling, as we said, Okay, all of a sudden, you're engaging that there is an emotion, let's say grief. Okay, I'm going to use a big subject. There's grief, so I'm going to have to feel this grief. And grief is a very overwhelming emotion because it activates the nervous system because there's a loss and you're having

40:38 to move into a new world. And so you're processing that, you're listening to the messages, you're feeling the emotions and the overwhelmed and then you're integrating, like you're accepting that I have this loss. You're accepting whatever emotions that are coming up. You're not doing a la carte that I shouldn't be anymore, I shouldn't feel angry, I should feel happy or excited, and recognizing you can feel all those emotions all at once, it's not just one or the other. And if you can also get to the layer where a lot of times we don't even know how to validate that we are feeling afraid. There's such a beratement of not being able to do that, and that is the activation of the nervousness, and that's its one function, So being able to integrate and and validate and acknowledge what is going on in your biology, so then you can start letting go of the things that you've thought were protecting you that you no longer need. Okay, I love it. Facing Yeah, that's great. So feeling, processing, integrating, and ultimately releasing.

41:46 And I think that's a wonderful pathway. I like how you put that. So as we come to a close, what I'd love for you to do is just take a moment and sure with the audience what would be that message that you would like to share with them. Please remember to be kind to yourself. You matter. And there's a reason why they call it radical compassion because this journey that you're going to be on, you're going to need that compassion to see and go through your experiences. So that kindness is to start within. Is the only thing that we give on the outside, it has to come internally, So be kind with yourself during the journey. Oh I love that. I love that, Natalie. And so if people want to learn more about what you're doing and potentially working with you through some guided meditation and so forth, how do they find you? I have a website called lift oneself dot com l I F T O N E s E l F dot com and they can come into a fifteen minute free discovery call to see if we can work together. I also am on all the social media's under lift wheself, where I leave affirmations or introspective questions so people can start being curious about their biology and their own lived experience. And also for your listeners, I created a ten minute meditation that they can access, so they'll go

43:20 to liftweself dot com forward slash gift gift and they'll just have to opt in and then they'll have this ten minute meditation where I go down into a belly breath also so they can really start that regulation and come back into their body. And that's wonderful. And you ring up one more quick question. How long and how important it is from the standpoint at a time that we meditate. I've heard people talk ten minutes, twenty minutes, an hour, or two hours. What has been your experience? What creates an effective meditation time wise? Get it even does? It's just the commitment to meditate every day.

44:05 It's really the commitment to meditate. And then once you start meditating, you recognize that's the medicine for yourself. So then when things are going out of sort, you recognize, waight, have I taken time to be with myself? Have I taken time to feel, to process, to integrate, to release. That's the whole process of the meditation, and the more at times you're going to need a longer meditation because of whatever challenges, and if you're beginning the work, you'll need longer meditations to be able to remove the things that are in your body, to open up and have an empty vessel so that you can receive yet all throughout the day. Yet, this is your journey. There is no right way find what works for you in your experience. Yet, the only thing I can really tell you if you really want transformation is that consistency of every day, every day, even if it's for a minute. Just commit every day that you will meditate so you can start taking care of what's going on internally and really doing that self care.

45:13 Love it, Natalie, thanks so much for being on the show. This has been a fascinating discussion. I love this one. I really appreciate the openness and I love when we can do a deep dive and I always just want to create a simplicity of the language. Too many times, you know, in my own journey and what I hear with other people, they're getting the wrong definition, and they're not inquiring about themselves. They're going externally to figure out other people's plans rather than using that curiosity of let me see what works for me, let me really be that mad scientist in my own lived experience and not having theories. It's the lived experience that brain transformation. So you're going to have to do the trench work. You're going to have to do the work. Yet it's possible and you have the capacity to do the work. Oh that's great. Thanks and folks, I know you really enjoyed this one. I hope you'll reach out to Natalie and you know, even experience that ten meditation. I can tell you it can change your life if you so choose to have that do so. So thanks for listening. I hope you'll join us again soon.