Sept. 8, 2026

Life Hacks for Healing & Harmony. The Labels We Carry, and How to Set Them Down

Show Notes
Transcript

Dr. Doug sits down with Tara Mae Temple, author of Life Hacks for Healing and Harmony, to talk about the quiet stories we start believing about ourselves early on. Tara shares years of feeling like she did not belong, the practice she calls negative thought cancellation, and what shifted when she stopped trying to erase the past. A gentle conversation about noticing the labels you carry, setting them to the side, and finding your way back to who you already are.

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Thank you. Thank you. I have spent years in conversation

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with people who are successful by every measure and still

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quietly restless, not broken, not lost, just aware somewhere underneath

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the noise that there is a version of their life

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that feels more honest, more grounded, more genuinely theirs. This

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podcast exists for those people, for the ones who are

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done performing and ready to go deeper. My name is Dr.

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Doug.

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Welcome to Inspire Vision. I'm glad you were here. Tara, welcome.

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Thank you for having me, Dr.

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Doug. Hey, I'm really excited about this. You know, as

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I looked over your profile and the things that you've

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been going through, it's just fascinating to me. And one

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of the things I find so interesting, I was thinking

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about this before we got on, is everyone has a

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different story. Everyone has a different background. And you know,

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people that are listening and obviously the whole goal of

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this podcast is to help individuals to become better, to

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really learn to love themselves and to be able to

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make a difference in their own lives and in others.

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And I realized that everyone has a different story. And

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I think that's so important because not everyone, you know,

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connects with a particular story, but being able to Being

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able to have an individual story such as yours, someone

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is going to be listening and someone is going to

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connect with that. And that's going to be great. So anyway,

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share a little bit with the audience, a little bit

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about your background.

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Yes. So I'm Tara Mae Temple, author of Life Hacks

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for Healing and Harmony. And You know, I wasn't always

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an author. This was five years in the making. I,

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you know, was at the height of my career, doing

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marketing and healthcare fundraising. And I was in that world

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for 15 years in the corporate world. And I thought,

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you know, I had made it and I checked all

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the boxes of having that ideal career and raising a

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young family, but it was not fulfilling to me. And

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I knew that I didn't want to be trapping myself

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in this box forever.

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So yeah, I went.

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Through all the hoops of going through a health crisis

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and just listening to my inner voice and inner knowing

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about this message of telling my story to help people

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find inner peace, because I was yearning for that for

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so long. And long story short, I just journaled about

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all the struggles I've went through in my life. And

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they're all universal themes that we deal with as human beings.

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So many people can resonate But I did the research

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in ways to find healing strategies and peace practices that

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would help people come to a place of self-actualization and

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find a little bit of joy and peace in their lives.

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So I can go on forever, but I just want

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to keep that little snippet short and then get going here.

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Well, and I love that. And you have so many

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interesting talking points that I think will be fun to

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talk about, but Talk a little bit about your book

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and what was the motivation to write your book?

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Yes, the whole motivation, Dr. Doug, was the fact that

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life doesn't come with a manual. And a lot of

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times we're living through the challenges that we're up against

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in life. I always tended to wonder, why didn't my

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elders or friends speak about their challenges openly? and find

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a way to give each other advice to give each

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and every one of us guidance. So it's a guidebook

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that I wish I had 10 years ago when I

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was going through some of the toughest times in my

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life dealing with anxiety, dealing with identity crisis in becoming

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a new mother, and just not having the tools to

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deal with my mental and emotional state. And I always wondered,

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you know, how could I... explained this message to people to,

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to help them come up with rituals that are easily

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doable in their day to day lives, that would just

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help them in big and grand ways, to help them

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think differently, and to, you know, let them explore about

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who they really are. And knowing that, you know, you

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are not your thoughts, and you're not your past. So

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it's a healing journey, you know, if you're brave enough

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to take that step forward into a healing journey path,

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it will do wonders for your mind, body, spirit. And

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not only that, it will help, help you thrive in

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your relationships.

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Well, that's great. And, and I want you to share

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your journey because what I find is, you know, so

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often a story is so much more effective than anything else.

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You know, we can talk about this and that, but

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your journey is, if you can share that with the

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audience of what the struggles were and everything that you experienced,

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not everything, but the struggles that you had and how

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you ultimately overcame that to get to the point that

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you are now. And again, I realize even with myself

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and everyone else, we're on a journey. The journey never ends.

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So it's not like it's all done. But share with

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the audience your journey up to this point and what

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were the challenges and ultimately how How did you get

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to this point in your life?

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Yes, I love that question because everyone's journey is very different,

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but we can find many common threads throughout our journeys

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to learn from one another's stories, right? So for me,

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I was a Filipino-Canadian growing up in Canada, and I

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always felt like I didn't belong.

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Where I lived was a very.

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Small town, and it was mainly not very many people

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from my culture that lived in that town is mainly

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Caucasian people. So I didn't feel like I was the

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ideal fit for when I was going to school and

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in my community. I didn't look like the other girls

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or speak like the other girls. And I thought, you know,

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at the time, that was almost like a downfall of mine.

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So I never feel like I fit in.

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And then as I grew up and I was going

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to grade school, I, you know, had trouble making friends

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my age. I would always tend to gravitate toward making

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friends with younger people and toward being friends with people

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that I could uplift and help them see the good in.

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Themselves, right?

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So I was going through a lot of bullying and

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it really made a big dent in my self-esteem and

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my self-worth. And I believe that when I went to

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high school, I started to, you know, carry that with

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me and kind of bottle that up. And I tried

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to speak about it to close friends and family, but

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I didn't feel like I was understood enough. in any

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way possible because at the time people would just shrug

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that stuff off of being bullied because it was very common.

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A lot of people went through it, right? But what

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I noticed after time, because I like to study human

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behavior and how certain things that affect us in childhood

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can be carried into adult relationships. So I noticed as

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I was entering the workforce that And I was in

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the corporate world, a lot of the same patterns of

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feeling like I was a victim or having the same

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dynamics of feeling like I was being spoken down to

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and spoken to in a condescending way by, you know,

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my superiors in the office and all that. I kind

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of felt like I was projecting outwards my experience of

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having that bullying happen. And What I noticed is, you know,

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like having that mindset of, you know, always being stepped

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on and, you know, the world is cold and I have,

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there's nobody to trust that, that really put me in

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a bubble of isolation as it does many people. And

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they don't think they're good enough to have a fulfilling

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relationship with others. So it took me a long, long

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time to just explore, you know, reading other self-help books,

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how to learn about how to become a self-realized individuals

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through my study of social science and just learning how

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to build my confidence through my writing. I would always

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keep a journal writing practice throughout my life to express

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my thoughts and my feelings because A lot of the

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time when I was growing up, I felt like I

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didn't have a voice and that really created a lot

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of resentment toward the external world for me. So I

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think it's important now that when I was writing my book,

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I was thinking, okay, how can I observe my behavior

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and other people's behavior and how people overcome these challenges

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that they deal with either socially, mentally.

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And emotionally?

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And there's strategies that come up within there on how

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to be a better, clearer communicator with others and how

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to be a better active listener and how to be

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more firm in our communication with others to stand up

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for ourselves. So the first time I started to feel

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liberated from this, you know, state of, you know, always

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being looked down upon or bullied, um, you know, that

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I didn't carry that label with me anymore. Once I

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started writing the story and finding different ways we can be,

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feel more fulfilled in our relationships with others.

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Um, so there's, there's different instances.

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I could talk about, but that's, that's one thing that

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I know a lot of people deal with and, um,

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That's what I wanted to share.

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Okay. And, you know, one of the interesting things that

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I've come to realize personally, and this is, again, my

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own opinion and experience, is that as we seek to

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overcome a lot of these issues, and we all have them,

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it doesn't matter what our experience in growing up has been,

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but ultimately they're always there. And a lot of that

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is because we actually experienced it, such as yourself. And

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in other cases, it's the perception that we had as

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a child. You know, a parent can say something. In fact,

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I've just, you know, been looking at this a lot.

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You know, a parent can say something. My dad was,

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you know, good dad, very successful in his, you know,

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in what he did, more focused on his job and

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his profession than he was his kids. And yet he

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taught us some good things. But What was interesting about

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him was that when we would come home from school

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or whatever, the question was, well, how was school? How

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did you do? How are your grades? And his focus was,

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you know, you boys, and there were five of us,

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you boys will all be professionals. And that was just

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kind of the expectation. And what that does to you

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subconsciously is just amazing. And so talk a little bit

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about how these imprints, at least in your experience, occur.

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And you've already shared a little bit about what happened

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with you. But also, how do you detach yourself from

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these labels? How do you detach yourself from these imprints

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that are literally, in my mind, controlling our lives?

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Yeah, I love that question because I tackled with it

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for many decades. And what you speak of here with

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the labels, I'll give you an example, was I picture

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that as the nobody likes me kind of self-talk that

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I had for myself for the longest time. And I

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carried the label being shy forever. And the way that

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I detached myself from that is I came up with

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a technique called negative thought cancellation because my thinking was

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distorted about myself, right? I do have many friends and

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family that love me and they know that I'm kind,

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but how this negative thought cancellation works is once you

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catch yourself thinking a negative thought about yourself or replaying

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this label that you have about yourself, I want you

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to try and experiment. Lightly pinch your hand to create

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a pattern interrupt. And I'm not advocating for self-harm here,

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but just a light pinch on your hand when you're

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thinking that thought. And then, for example, with me, I

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would picture a heart balloon eating up that negative thought.

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And instead, the.

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Phrase would be, I am kind, I am caring, of

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course people like me.

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And I.

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You know, I would say it over and over again

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consistently whenever I would get a bad thought about myself

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in my mind. And if you're not a visual person

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or you're not verbal, what really works as well is

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writing the phrase down that you want to cancel out

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that negative thought or label you have about yourself.

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And for me, this was a game changer because.

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This started to shift my lens and onto what's possible

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for me to see the good side of myself and

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to build up that self-esteem so I practice it to

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that to this day it sounds a little silly but

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um it's definitely what we need to do because we

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need to discipline our minds otherwise our thoughts will ruminate

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and they take.

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Over well I drive my kids crazy you know I've

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got I've got poor kids and The thing that I

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do that drives them crazy is when they start to

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say something.

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I always come up with an alternative thought. And I'm

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going to do that now.

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I love that.

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I'm going to do that now. Because one of the things,

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at least from my experience in my studies, and you

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say something that I think is so essential, that when

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those thoughts come up, number one, you do become aware

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of them. But There's a saying, and I use it

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a lot in my podcast as we're talking about these

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type of things, that which we resist persists.

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Yes, I love that.

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And so often as we talk about personal transformation and

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discovering that peace and so forth, there's such a focus

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on doing this and doing that and overcoming this and

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putting this away and so forth, that in fact, that's

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a little bit of resistance, which means it doesn't go away.

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And one of the thoughts that's come to my mind,

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and a lot has been influenced by people I've talked to,

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is that rather than trying to eliminate it, we just

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set it to the side. And I think from a

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standpoint of neurological issues, that as we just set it

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to the side, those neurological pathways are still there, but

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we start to develop the new one. And I love

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what you said about now you have something that you

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say four to five times and you're developing a new

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neural pathway. But for me, I think it's important to

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realize the mindset of I'm not trying to eliminate it

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because you're never going to eliminate it, but you can

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set it to the side. And by setting it to

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the side, you're no longer resisting it. You're merely controlling

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it and you're developing your new mindset. Tell me your

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thoughts on that. Yes.

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Oh, I love that so much because, you know, all

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of us want a magical button where we want to

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just press it and erase the past and erase all

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the difficult things that we went through. And it doesn't

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work that way, right? And you're right, like we really,

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by setting it aside, we could just detach from it

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and know that it doesn't define us. And we don't

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need to let it affect every aspect of our life. And,

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you know, if you don't let that thought control you,

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you are in the driver's seat of what you can

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control in your life.

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And that's your mind, body and spirit.

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And I think it starts with the mind, and really

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working on our perception of others, the world we live

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in and ourselves. And I think, you know, that awareness

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is have number one, and we need to have that

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awareness in order to set those very difficult thoughts aside.

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So I love that you mentioned that because those neurological

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pathways are very important. We need to reset those negative

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thought patterns in order to create a shift.

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In the way we think.

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Well, and you grew up, as you say, as a

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Filipino in a major Caucasian situation. And how much of

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that was perception? Perception? And how much of that was

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reality when you look back and see how you were treated? Yes.

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I think it was 100% perception because, you know, the

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friends I made along the way and all of my

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teachers that I found very influential in my life, they

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weren't from the same background I was.

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They were all, you know, they were either mostly.

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Caucasian or of a different background as well. And, um,

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you know, I think I had all of these thoughts

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in my head, these cognitive distortions of, you know, um,

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being influenced by media because growing up in the eighties

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and nineties, um, we all know media was a huge

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thing and it still is to this day.

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So, you know, seeing.

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Magazines and the way other women looked and all these things,

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I always thought I had to fit that ideal box.

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And that could, you know, when you're stuck on those

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thoughts of being, you know, wanting to be like everybody else,

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it can really put you in a state of struggle

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and and not being able to accept yourself and it's

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you know because it doesn't feel like home there you're

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always trying to attain something else externally in order to

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get to a place of fulfillment but that that isn't

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the place and I learned over time that you know

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it's a lot more liberating when I could just speak

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my own perspective and my own stories and experiences and

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not worry about comparing them to someone else's story because

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we're all unique in our, own very individual ways and

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we all have something to teach the world and the

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people around us and so I embrace that now you

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know I don't I don't look at my my background

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and my nationality as you know something that is holding

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me down I see it As a benefit to teach

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others that no matter what culture or background you're from,

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whatever gender you affiliate with, and all these different things,

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we can all unite together and teach each other something.

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Well, and as you were growing up, one of the

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things that fascinates me is that so often we have

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grown up in an environment that says you are. this

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and so you know as we talk about how do

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we overcome how do we eliminate these imprints and so

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on and so forth one of the things that in

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my mind is so important is the foundation the foundational

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understanding and when you were growing up what what were

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those areas and elements that really were causing you to

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become imprinted as far as beliefs about yourself. I know

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that you mentioned a little bit about being bullied, and

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that's certainly one. You know, being kind of in a

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group where you just don't feel like you fit in

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because of your nationality, that's another one. What was your

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religious background, if any? And were there other areas that

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you found really did create your vision of who you were?

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Yes, I love this question, because there's so many different

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aspects of our lives that can affect us. And in

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terms of other imprints that were imprinted upon me, my culture,

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I come from a culture that's very, you know, the

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elders speak openly.

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And it's very.

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Common in Filipino culture to have an elder.

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Kind of comment on appearance.

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And there is a lot of body shaming and, you know,

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which I find funny because in Filipino culture, it's always about,

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you know, having a feast and gathering together and having

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all the food and enjoying each other's company around a

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dinner table. Yet elders would kind of insult the younger

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girls in the family and say, oh, you know, you've

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gained weight or, you all this different stuff around what

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our bodies look like, and all this stuff. And I

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think that really had an effect on me in terms

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of self image struggle. And so I identified as being Filipino,

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but I also had this inner conflict of, you know,

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there's some parts of my culture, like I appreciate, but

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some that I would rather not, not put up with,

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you know, so There's that. And then the expectation in

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terms of like my religion, I'm Catholic and I'm very

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true to my faith to this day.

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I'm very spiritual as well.

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So in my culture, they put an emphasis on religion

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and our faith. And I think that actually helped strengthen

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all avenues of my life. as well so um there's

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all these different things but i think with these cultures

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as well immigrant families um immigrating to north america or

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canada back in the 70s you know um they they

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made a better life for us um immigrating but then

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that also comes with the expectation of um being who

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our parents want us to be in terms of roles

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and what professions to take um to pursue as we

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become adults. So I really struggled with expectation. And to

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this day, I know I don't fit all the boxes

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of staying with a career for more than 20 years

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at the same corporation because I truly believe in continuous learning.

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And I was very curious about learning different industries. So

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I tried everything from logistics, advertising, marketing, healthcare, fundraising, And

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in all those roles, I've always did my writing. So

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I was tired of checking all the boxes of doing

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what others expected. And when the pandemic finally hit, that

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was the very beginning of my book writing journey. And

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I could tell you it was very liberating because I

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knew it was my call to write. And I like

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to teach people how to achieve their dreams as well.

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So... And I think my whole point is, and I'm

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very much into theology also, is that I think it's

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so important. And people that are not quite into that,

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Life Hacks for Healing & Harmony. The Labels We Carry, and How to Set Them Down

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