Freeing the Voice Within: A Conversation with Dr. Leslie Carr

0:01 I have spent years in conversation with people who are successful by every measure and still quietly restless, not broken, not lost, just aware somewhere underneath the noise that there is a version of their life that feels more honest, more grounded, more genuinely theirs. This podcast exists for those people, for the ones who are done performing and ready to go deeper. My name is Dr. Doug. Welcome to Inspire Vision. I am glad you are here. Leslie, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I'm thrilled to be here. Well, I'm excited too. And, you know, what I love, where are you from, by the way? Where are you at?

0:49 I am originally from the suburbs of New York City, but I've lived in California for 20 years. Which part of California? California. I was in San Francisco for 15 and I've been in LA for a little over five. So I'm in Los Angeles right now. Ah, so you got good weather right now. Yeah, it's a little. Hot today actually, but yes, yes, yes. It's good weather. I won't complain. I lived in Palm Springs for 17 years, so. That's right. I know that. You know heat. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I'd love for you to kind of share with the audience a bit of your background, who you are, and then also what brought you to this point? What was the journey that you experienced that brought you to what you're doing now?

1:35 It's such a good question. And I will tell you, Doug, you're catching me at such an interesting time in my life and career because I'm in the middle of a pivot, which is part of what I'm really excited to talk to you about. I know you're familiar with the notion of a midlife pivot. Yes. But this is actually the first interview that I have ever done as this new version of me. So how I'm going to describe myself is different than I ever have before. But the sort of long and the short of it, to kind of orient the listeners, is that I have a doctorate in psychology, but I also have something resembling an education addiction. So in addition to my doctorate in psychology, I have a master's in neurolinguistic programming.

2:16 I'm a trained breathwork facilitator, a certified Akashic Records reader. If you're familiar with the Akashic Records, I would love to talk to you about that today. And let's see, those are probably the primary things, but I've done a couple of other small certificate programs like Reiki and a couple other things that may or may not come up today. But I came to this journey, quite frankly, because I was raised in a very emotionally complex household. And became, one of the things that I'm very, very fortunate for is that my family, complicated as they were, sent me to a therapist for the first time when I was 10 years old. And that kind of created, I think, a lifelong interest in healing myself and growing and wanting to just become the best version of myself that I could become. So I sort of had that whole experience.

3:08 I went and became a psychologist and then a therapist and then developed all of these other kind of, skills and, you know, went to all these other certificate programs and now just recently kind of rebranded my entire website to be more oriented towards the more energetic things that I've learned more recently, because I feel like I've learned a lot that could be valuable for other people to hear about just the idea that I do believe we have souls. Our souls make a decision to come here for all of the learning and growth and pain and joy that life entails. And that if we embrace the learning and the growth, there are a lot of rewards that come with that. And a lot of what I'm interested in talking about these days is the notion of kind of freeing one's voice or reclaiming one's voice because the more, and I'll end this here so you can get a word in edgewise, but in terms of my complicated family, the most complicated thing about it was the fact that my voice was taken away from me when I was a child due to many complex factors that we can get into with whatever depth you would like. I wasn't permitted to speak freely as a child. I wasn't raised in a family where I was made to feel like my feelings mattered. And because so much of the work that I've done between Breathwork and the Akashic Records and everything, I think the end result of all of that, and also through having my own podcast, I have been able to kind of reclaim and free my own voice. And

4:39 now I want to help other people to be able to do the same if that's a thing that they struggle with. And I do believe it's a common problem. So that's me in a nutshell. I hope that was coherent. Well, and you mentioned you were addicted to, you know, on and on and on. And I sit and laugh because, you know, is it an addiction or is it incredible curiosity? Yes. I mean, I jokingly call it an addiction. But yes, you could sort of say either. You could say either thing. I like to joke that it's like my strange addiction. But yes, it is an insatiable curiosity. I was going to ask if you'd already gone for some addiction therapy, but apparently not. You know what? I am not interested. This is an addiction I do not want to heal. So no.

5:23 I know. I know. Good question. Oh, that's great. And, you know, you talk about the Akashic records. I am. Yeah, explain to the audience a little bit what that is, because I'm sure most of them have never heard of it. Okay, so the Akashic Records are a very specific system for accessing information that we could say is quote-unquote on the other side of the veil. The essential theory of the Akashic Records is that we all have souls. It is inherently based on the concept of reincarnation. I think the deeper down the rabbit hole you go, you could just sort of think about it as kind of a quantum, it has a very kind of quantum quality to it.

6:06 Something that I will explain, I always love to frame it this way for anyone who's listening that might be a little bit newer to spirituality, or maybe they're not accustomed to thinking this way, is just that our physical senses, our ability to see and touch and feel things and that kind of stuff, generally speaking, operate according to classical physics. But we know from other types of physics, like quantum mechanics, that that's not the only thing that exists in reality there. We live in a multidimensional universe. So in essence, the Akashic records is a very specific system for getting information from the other side of the veil, so to speak. And you can, when you are encounter someone who is a certified reader of the records, which I technically am, I don't, I don't sell sessions professionally. That's not what I do for my work, but, but I did become a trained reader. You can ask certain questions and you can get answers to those questions. Sometimes the answers resonate profoundly.

7:06 I think for people who become interested in this stuff or kind of get hooked on it, there can be, it's a little bit like working with a medium who's kind of communicating with people that have passed on and stuff or really high quality psychic. You know, I think that word's a little complicated, but it's a real thing, I do believe. that when we're communicating with someone who is trained to read the records, the language that we use is you open the records. Different readers have different ways of doing that. They either say a prayer, they have a different way of communing with the information. And then you can ask questions and get information. And the types of questions that are best to ask, and I think this is important because it's interesting, is The guidance that you get from the beyond, so to speak, doesn't respond particularly well to sort of yes or no questions like, should I do this or should I do that? You know, they honor the notion of free will and we get to decide as humans. But if you were to ask a question like, what am I meant to learn from this situation? It's amazing how much information can come back.

8:11 So just to give you an example so that maybe folks can kind of anchor themselves to something. You know, my father died in 2021. Both of my parents have passed now, but my father was the one that I had the complicated relationship with. And through having readings with other readers and my own ability to access information this way, I have had a number of very powerful conversations with my father. where I'm surprised, by the way, that we're jumping right in with this, but here we go. Well, I'm going to have some more questions about this, so go. A little bit slower. Yes, I don't doubt that. I know I'm giving you kind of a lot straight out of the gates, but I have had conversations with him.

8:51 I know this might sound crazy, but I don't think that it is, where he has effectively communicated to me that he can see now certain things he couldn't see when he was alive and that he feels bad about some of the decisions that he made. And I think one of the things that I would want listeners to know, and again, you can ask follow-up questions and we'll get deeper into this, but if anybody has ever had a troubled relationship with someone, living or dead, there is a way of kind of getting information and getting into that stuff that can provide a lot of guidance and support and comfort and a different way of looking at things. Okay, so what is the background? Is that Is it a Hindu background? How far back does that go? Just real quickly.

9:35 That is a really good question. To be completely honest with you, Doug, I probably should look more into this. I don't know enough about the complete history. I know I have worked with many readers and in terms of the person who trained me, her name is Helen Vonderheide. She's very much so an expert in this space. If you were to interview her, she could probably walk you through the history and the lineage. That wasn't... kind of how I came through it I just learned the practice. And the reason I ask I just did an interview yesterday with someone and he happens to be Hindu Indian and it was wonderful to go back to the original truths and One of the interesting things I find fascinating is, and here's where we may have a slight different perspective on some things, but you go back to Hinduism, you go back to Buddhism, and there's this concept of reincarnation, which you mentioned. And I think about that, and I think about what their perception was based on what they were able to see, But you bring up a very important point. We are eternal souls. And so if we experienced a previous life as a soul, whatever you want to call it, a spirit or whatever, and then we

11:06 came into this world, as you say, to experience what we needed to experience in a world of a physical body, That to me is not reincarnation. In fact, I kind of call it rebirth. As a matter of fact, as you have talked about all of your changes, I just wrote an article for Substack and I talked about the fact that we have been reborn multiple times in our life. We don't have to die to be reborn. Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. And so getting into that, from my perspective, is absolutely... And when we die... You know, we go on to another existence that we really, you know, well, kind of have an idea. But, you know, we go on to another existence. And I believe that there's that eternal progression that occurs in our lives.

11:59 I couldn't agree more with you. But if I can offer something, because I think this stuff is so fascinating in terms of this idea of having different perspectives. I think so often we're saying the same things and using different language. And some of that just has to do with the limitations of human language. We're trying to use human verbal language to communicate about something that is so much more vastly expansive than the human mind can even comprehend, let alone can we assign words for. I agree. It's not only human language, it's human perception. What are we able to actually perceive? The other thing, though, that you bring up, and here's a question that I've always had, because coming from a strong theological background, what I find is that as we talk about having someone guide us, helping us through, and my thought is, at what point in time do we not ask someone else to help us, but we experience it ourselves. Do I believe that you can talk to your dad that's passed away? Absolutely.

13:13 Do I believe if I were at the spiritual level that I could talk to my dad who has also passed away? Absolutely. And sometimes I will talk to him, not that I hear back from him, but sometimes I will talk to him. So I think this perception... that all of this exists, that the quantum field or whatever you want to call it, I think it's a much higher realm than that, that people perceive. But when we talk about individuals seeking help, what is the difference between that and being able to say, you know what, you're entitled to your own inspiration. You're entitled to your own personal revelation about your life. And to gain that own insight rather than always depending on someone else. And I know that's a challenging comment because that's what you do.

14:09 But share with me how many times have you found that people so often absolve themselves from the responsibility to really discover who they are and try to give it to someone else's responsibility to tell them. And you get that into astrology and all the things that have evolved from that. And I find that sometimes people lose that responsibility. That's a really good question. I think there are a couple of things in here that in some ways we might need to kind of tease apart. But just to speak from my own vantage point for a moment, because it is perhaps an interesting thing about having studied so many different disciplines, you know, it's like, you're going to get a doctorate in psychology, and then you learn how to read the records, and you do all these things.

15:02 And I do absolutely believe that a big part of the journey for me was to learn about all of these disciplines, so that I could just come full circle with to myself and what I believe to be true. And, um, you know, if I were to use this maybe specifically as an example for a moment, every once in a while, I still do have readings with other people. Uh, so for example, you say someone like Helen von der Heide that I mentioned, who does, she reads the Akashic records. And if I have a question about something, I can't quite get to the bottom of it. I'll book an appointment with her and that's helpful. I also have somebody in my life who's a medium. I've had sessions with her and it can be helpful. But more often than not these days, I don't feel like I need to do that because I feel like I can consult myself and I can come to my own conclusions and I can have my own answers. And I actually do think, I will make a bold statement, but I believe this, that the ultimate journey for all of us whatever path it is that we take to get there is to be able to connect with our own internal wisdom what one might call sovereignty right that once you kind of become sovereign that you can be your own leader your own guide you listen you know you consult your own

16:32 oracle but Where I think most people maybe struggle with that in various different kinds of ways is if you don't really learn how to kind of do the work in a way, are you sure that you're giving yourself wise counsel? Like, let's just imagine for a moment a person who's never done any spiritual work, never went to a therapist, never got the perspective of an outside observer, may or may not be doing drugs in some instances. You know, like you could, I think it would be dangerous just to say to anybody willy-nilly, consult yourself, you're the ultimate truth. But I think that when. You do the work, you know, there is something to be said for coming full circle to kind of being like, no one is a higher authority than me on me, certainly.

17:18 Well, and I agree with you, by the way. I agree with you. You know, you get into even the biblical dogma that goes on with Christianity. And, you know, they'll quote this person. prophet of the New Testament and that prophet of the New Testament say, this is it. Well, bottom line is none of those writers were the real writers. You know, they were all people later on, hundreds of years later that named themselves the same person and then wrote. But here's the key is as you read that, there are insights that then if you internalize those insights, you're able to then, at least from my experience, come up with some answers for yourself. And so you actually have accomplished that, which I really appreciate the fact that you said that. You literally have come to yourself to be able to do that, and you have your own way of doing that, which I think is fantastic. So I love what I read on your website, and you said you just did a new one, but I want to read this statement here. I believe that creativity is a human birthright, and the more we free ourselves from our conditioning and reconnect with who we truly are, the more alive and creative we become. Now, why that statement? What is the basic foundation of that statement for you?

18:42 Oh, I think it's such a good question. And I'm so happy to speak to this because it's the thing I'm most excited about right now. What you just said speaks to the intersection of the way a lot of things have come together for me in my life and career. Oh, by the way, nervous system regulation work is another really big thing for me. I don't technically hold any kind of certificate in it, but I have worked with a nervous system regulation coach for many years now. And it really, really changed my life. And I think when you kind of put all these things together, spiritual stuff, psychological principles, You know, there is this other very significant piece of things, which is the human nervous system and the ways in which it can and often does hold trauma, store memories, become kind of the repository of all of the experiences we've had in our lives, good and bad. And yet it is through this human body with its eyeballs and its ears and its, you know, ability to reach out and touch and feel things. that connects us to the present moment and the very experience of being alive. And I had started meditating when I was really young, kind of a quirky element of my personal history that I started meditating when I was 16 and then didn't begin my nervous system regulation journey until I was probably about 45 years old. So let's say, you know, 30 some odd years had gone by or whatever. And I found

20:12 that it really changed the game when it came to present moment awareness, because it can be very hard to feel fully present when there's anything that we could just sort of say is rattling around in your body as a distraction. We move through the world with a lot of internal sensations, sometimes of reverberation of past anxieties and that kind of stuff. And when I really did a lot of work to kind of tune my nervous system in this way, I noticed a much stronger capacity for present moment awareness. And through that capacity for present moment awareness, an ability to kind of feel creativity move through me. Now, just to back up for a second and connect some dots, I had been an artist of various kinds going way back.

21:07 You know, I was a performing musician in my 20s and that kind of stuff and had a very hard time performing on stage in front of people. It was not, my nervous system at the time was not really well built for that. And so, you know, you fast forward a couple of decades. Now here I've done this nervous system regulation work. I have done a ton of work to become more comfortable with public speaking. And what it basically made me realize is that, you know, our human bodies really are, they can be thought of as instruments. They are the instruments that we move through the world with. We can think about that quite literally when we think about using our voices in the sense that, you know, my body is producing sound. There are vibrations in my chest as a result of the fact that my voice is making sounds in this very moment. And to be able to be present with those physical sensations in a way that feels safe and comfortable for me helps me to connect with my own soul and present moment awareness in a manner that feels really fully alive and creatively inspired.

22:14 And I hope I'm making sense, but that maybe just gives you a rough sense of where that's coming from. And it does, you know, I was just thinking, I'm smiling because again, I learned so much. I've said this before. I think I get more than my audience does from these interviews and conversations that I have. I know the feeling as a podcaster myself. Yes. One of the things that had been mentioned, and I thought it's so true, is literally we are a computer program. Our lives are a computer program. Yes, we are. And Everything we experience, everything we do has been programmed into us. And you have referred to this as early childhood experiences and so forth. And when we talk about present moment awareness, and I love that terminology that you use, being able to ultimately sit back and, as you say, meditate, whatever that happens to be, and be able to really start to understand that, you know what, I've been programmed this way.

23:16 And I don't have to be this computer program. I can really go back to who I truly am, go back to that true soul and discover that. And for me, I focus it on just a quiet return to who we are. And I started a whole new program on that. But the point is, and I love how you talk about the fact that you've been musical. I used to be able to sing. For some reason, my vocal cords have gone to the point now where I'm not able to do that. But my dad was an extremely successful voice teacher. So I think it's so important. And I love your concept of the fact that as we somatically start to do things, and we start to find our true voice, and it has nothing to do necessarily with music, but as we find that true voice, what a difference it can make. How does someone, you know, and obviously when you work with people, they've already reached a certain point, but how do you help someone to develop that present moment awareness to the point that they can then observe those emotions, those triggers? those things that are coming up and recognize that that's just a program, that they had been programmed from early childhood, whether it's by the parents,

24:48 by experiences, by society, by religion, whatever it happens to be. How do you help them to get to that point? Yeah, it's multifaceted in the sense that I think that there are multiple entry points in here. And in some ways, there's no wrong one. because it's ultimately based on any one individual person's life experience and what's running in their computer program. But I think that there is, when it comes to one-on-one work of any kind where someone can work with a facilitator, whether someone is working with me or in the way that I have worked with my coach, there is something extraordinarily powerful about being present with the sensations that are coming up in your body for whatever they happen to be in a given moment. So for example, in this very moment right now, it's always, I think one of the things that's so beautiful about this work is you can literally do it anywhere, anytime, including right now for me and you as we're speaking and later as people are listening. To take a moment and just notice, maybe take a deep breath. It can be really nice actually to take three of them. Three is kind of the magic number for activating the parasympathetic nervous system. If somebody feels like they can do it, if they want to close their eyes, as long as you're not driving a car, you know, and if you are driving a car, just be present with the experience of driving the car, right?

26:10 You don't have to pull over, just be literally present with whatever you're doing and take a moment to bring your attention inward and notice any sensations that are present while you're having the experience that you're having. Now, when a person can be still and slow down, so let's imagine for a moment, they're not driving a car. If you can really bring your attention inward and slow things down a little bit, you will most likely notice that something catches your attention. It might be something we're tempted to label as good or bad. Maybe you have a long-term pain that catches your attention. Something in your physical body just grabs your attention in some way, shape, or form.

26:56 If you can step out of these language labels to go back to what we were saying before, human perception, human language, and just be a witnessing presence of it, perhaps breathe into it a little bit. One of the things that is so wild is you can notice how it shifts and moves and evolves just through the experience of sitting there and breathing. Now, back in my days when I was meditating and there wasn't really a nervous system regulation component, I was sitting there and doing all the hard work of trying not to think, you know, and obviously different approaches to meditation. But there was this missing piece of that internal awareness. The technical term for it is interoception, like really noticing the internal workings of your body, the sensations that arise. And when you do that a lot... especially when you have somebody that can help you guide you through it and be present with you for it. One of the things that a person can notice that opens up and it is so wildly beautiful is we start to notice that it's just energy.

28:06 It's just sensation. These things that we often have labels for, you know, I go, and I label it anxiety, you know, whatever it is, you have these, these, these feelings, these emotions, different energetic states, And when you start to realize that it's just energy moving through the body and you start to develop more of a capacity to be present with it for whatever it is, good or bad, so much opens up. It's so wild. I have had moments of feeling deep rage, deep grief, and the way that I relate to that now at this point in my life when I can just witness the energy move through my body and not have a thought-related reaction to it. It's a game changer from the way things were before. And if you are a performer of any kind, you want to be a public speaker, you'd love to be a stand-up comedian, you want to go sing karaoke with your friends, anything, it opens up this ability to be present with the emotions that move through you. It's no longer, if that was a thing that made you anxious, it doesn't have to make you anxious anymore. It's just energy.

29:18 Well, and I love about one of the things you talk about, as I've done a little bit more research with you, is the somatic aspect of this. And what comes to my mind, I have four children, but one of my sons just loves to work out. He loves to run. Mm-hmm. what's amazing to me is that as he does that, there are times that emotions come up. His mom passed away last year and He went on a major, major run. He's in the mountains of Utah. And so he went on a major run that was worldwide type of aspect. And I think it was probably three, four, five hours just running up the mountains. Like ultra marathon, basically.

30:08 But he shares that during that time, that emotion of whether you want to call it grief or maybe deep love, whatever, tears came to his eyes regarding his mom. And I think as I meditate, for instance, when I meditate, I can't sit and be still and meditate. It drives me absolutely crazy. But when I walk, I meditate. And there's something that you talk about. I want you to go a little deeper into this, whether it's breathing, whether it's humming, whether it's yoga, whether it's exercising, whether it's walking, whatever that happens to be. What is the value of that and why is that so important? Because I know that's an area that you have focused on is humming, making noise, vocalizing, breath work, all of that. What is so valuable about that?

31:07 Well, I think a lot of it is about the connection. sort of developing the capacity that I was just talking about. So for example, even if we take something as simple as humming, and I think it's so, your example of the running and the walking is, it's beautiful because it's so similar. But if you take an example of something like humming, especially if you can be present with it in any way, shape or form, but really, you know, someone can be, let's say they listen to this and they want to experiment with it. You could think of yourself as a terrible singer. I don't care. This is not about what you sound like. If you just kind of hum and you notice the way the sound reverberates in your chest, because it's a sensation, right? It's not just the sound that comes out. The vibration as it kind of resonates in your chest cavity can be in and of itself healing, especially, you don't necessarily have to be present in order for it to be healing, but I think it really helps. to just notice it, to be present with it. And I think one of the reasons why it's probably easier for you to be present and meditate while you're walking rather than sitting is because the energy is moving in your body and it gives your mind, it lulls us, it comforts us. It gives the mind either something to track if it needs something to track while we're meditating or being present, Or it just allows the energy to move. I think depending on

32:37 the experience that people are having, it could be either one of those things. And I'm not concerned about which it is. But if a person can be present while their body is in motion or, you know, and it might just be an interesting kind of thing to challenge yourself with. If you are sitting there and trying to quote unquote meditate and feeling like this is hard, does it change anything at all? just to actually notice a physical sensation in your body and to bear witness to it, to do nothing other than to bear witness to it and to notice the way that it shifts and evolves over time because it'll evolve, especially as we're sitting there breathing it. The feelings, internal feelings move. It's a wild thing to pay attention to.

33:21 Well, and it's fascinating to me as I listen to and observe some of the people here in In Thailand and in other places, they're humming, you know, from their religious standpoint. They're humming. They're chanting. Yes. And it's amazing. You know, initially when I heard that, I'm going, what on earth are you doing? And now I kind of have this sense and realization that, you know what, they are experiencing something that you've just been talking about. By doing that, it changes their whole experience.

34:01 Yes. And you're bringing in another layer that I think is fascinating because I wasn't thinking about it kind of germane to this particular point. But it's interesting to think about the role that humming or vocalization plays in nervous system regulation because it can be a distinct nervous system regulation practice to hum, to sing, to notice the way the vibration feels in your chest. I do think that it is also true that that it is through our voices that we communicate with the divine. It is one way of communicating that this is just my personal belief system. But if you imagine that the energy that's on the other side of the veil is sentient, we can quite literally communicate with it using our voices. Like you can ask a question, you can get that question answered as they say, sort of, you know, prayer is asking, meditating is receiving the answer.

34:56 Right? And so I do think that there are, depending on so many world religions and approaches and all of this stuff, all different kinds of Buddhism and all different kinds of everything. But in some religions and disciplines, I do think it has a divine element to it of kind of communicating with our ancestors, the energy that's on the other side of the veil. And I think both of those things are true, personally. Yeah, and I do too. And To be able to tap into that, I think, becomes the key. To be able to understand that, number one, you can tap into that. But so often I think that we are so programmed in a negative way because of those experiences as children that it limits us to some degree to be able to tap into that. And as you said, get to that present awareness, start to look at that, And you talk about the neurological aspects of this and the neural pathways, and you've apparently done a lot of studies on that.

36:01 You know, it's interesting. I want you to share with the audience just a little bit, because I think there's so many people that will say, you know, I just can't change. I've tried. I just can't change. I don't know if you've ever heard that, but I've heard that. And yet, I think for people to understand that, you know, if we really use the the analogy that we're computer programmed to some degree, at least we've been programmed like a computer, that we can change, that we can change that programming, that we can change the neural pathways in our brain. I want you to go into that a little bit and help people understand from a scientific standpoint, from a neurological standpoint, how they literally can change their brain pathways so that they're Behavior changes, their experience in life changes, the energy that they put out, which then attracts those experiences, can change.

36:58 Oh, Doug, that's such a juicy question. I love it so much. So when I hear this kind of example that you're bringing up of someone saying, I can't change, to be brutally frank, what I think that actually means is I don't want to. Because there are a couple of different elements to what we're talking about here. Some of what we can kind of start to unpack is the notion of belief, that what we believe is possible. Really all of our human experiences, and this is really getting into this computer program analogy, is run on conscious and unconscious belief, largely unconscious belief. And so when we want to change, part of what we need to revise is our unconscious beliefs And our conscious beliefs are kind of a pathway in on some level to kind of understanding what some of those unconscious beliefs are. It is also, and by it, I mean the computer program, our ability to change it and all of that kind of stuff is incredibly responsive to our desire. If a person wants to change something and they believe that they can, I think the potential outcomes are frankly, honestly, sort of limitless.

38:19 And I could say more about that. But I think that if we want to change, we believe that we can. We can become unstoppable as people. But if someone is saying, I think I can't change, it's so powerful because first of all, it's a belief. And it's also a statement of a boundary on some level. The person is just sort of saying, I choose to believe on some level that change is not possible for me because I would like to remain where I am. I would prefer to not change. Well, and you talk about they don't want to change, but I think there's another element that I want you to talk about for a minute. Sure. And that is, I'm afraid to change. You talk about people who, for instance, are in these negative relationships and they may get out of that one and then they end up attracting the same relationship again and a lot of it is the fear of change and it's not that they don't want to I think that they have the desire to change but they're so afraid of what that change would look like because it's an unknown that it's difficult for them to overcome the fear of change and therefore they stay where they are.

39:40 Yeah, you know, I think one of the things that's really interesting about dealing with examples like this where we don't have, like, let's say a specific person that we're talking about, or we don't have someone sitting here in front of us that can speak for themselves, is that so many different things can be true. So when I first heard you say, you know, I can't change, to use this example of the person who's speaking that way, I just coded that as I'm not interested. There is absolutely a completely different situation, which is the kind of person where maybe part of them wants to but maybe kind of believes that they can't. And another thing that we have to introduce into all of this, a couple of quick concepts that are significant. One is just the notion of like parts and parts work. We are not internally monolithic. We all contain multitudes and, you know, inside of everybody's mind is ultimately a dialogue of different parts where maybe one part of us wants to change, another part of us is afraid to, etc., I think it's important to engage all of those parts in a dialogue.

40:47 But it is absolutely true, and this is a painful element of life, that changing comes with consequences. And for some people, they may be afraid to change or they could have some ambivalence about it and some mixed feelings because they know that a certain change they may want to make, quote unquote, on some level, could come with consequences like no longer being the right fit for a relationship that's dysfunctional. You know, that the dysfunctional relationship is a carryover from the childhood wounds that developed the software in the first place in the computer program. You know, we have hardware and then many, many, many layers of software and software upgrades and some of it's running on DOS and other things are Wi-Fi enabled. You know, it's a really complex program we've got.

41:39 Going on in here. But if the human experience and nervous system level experience was such that childhood trauma developed a belief system where somebody became the right fit for a certain relationship, and let's imagine that becoming more empowered means you're no longer the right fit for that bad relationship. Well, that's true. If you become more empowered, it's probably not gonna feel like the right fit anymore. I think where a lot of the work comes in is beginning to kind of start to have that internal conversation hopefully with someone that can help you through it but to to be kind of begin to have that conversation to reconcile the different parts that are having a different experience and to start to develop certain capacities like trust that when you become the person you say you want to become that life will be rearranged in such a way that some of the things you currently imagine are costs will become worth it by the time you become the version of yourself that is free and on a soul level I believe that nothing that we want is an accident you know it's our desires are our souls speaking to us and whenever I say this there's always something I want to point out which is it can be worthwhile to notice what you don't want in life right I personally have never wanted to become a professional basketball player. The things

43:13 that we want are soul level nudges, pushing us towards our destiny on some level. And, and I know that it's scary for the human part of us. It can be super scary, but these are the different parts we have to be in dialogue with. If that. Yes. Tracks. Yes. And you know what, what's interesting. I was just thinking about this. I've, been really struggling with my computer recently on some things. And I've learned that I have to hit Command-R to reset. I love this. And so often, and we're coming to an end here, but how important it is for people to realize that they can hit that Command-R and reset their lives. And as you say, it's a journey and it takes time. It takes that immediate awareness. It takes all of that to do. And quite frankly, it takes someone such as yourself who can be a guide, who can be a mentor. Because trying to do it on our own, I think anyone that I know that has really tried to work in that direction, finds that having a mentor, having a coach, having someone there to be a guide and help them doesn't mean that they're doing it for them, but it means that they're sitting back, observing, watching, asking questions so that that individual can then start to really do that self-introspective work themselves.

44:48 So as we close, how do people find you? Well, my website is lesliecarr.com. My Instagram handle is at DrLeslieCarr. And my podcast, even though we haven't talked about it today, but that's fine, is called The Nature of Nurture. And that can be found on YouTube or in any podcast app. So what I would suggest is that people should find me wherever they would like to. If they're on Instagram, they can find me over there. If they want to follow the podcast, they can find me over there. And if someone wants to find me on my website, my newsletter has information about freeing your voice because that's my current Passion.

45:29 Oh, wonderful. So final message to the audience, what would that be? Based on the conversation that we've been having today, I just really want to reinforce this idea that I hope people will really, really listen to the desires that are on their heart, that to notice those internal nudges, and it can be anything. I mean, as long as you're not hurting anybody or committing a crime, I wouldn't want to be misinterpreted. But I think for all of the good-hearted people out there that are wanting to grow and heal and achieve a dream, the sky is truly the limit.

46:11 And it's true that becoming the people we really want to be does sometimes mean leaving the people that we were behind. But as scary as that might sound, I really believe it's worth it to do the work because to go with the example we were using, If healing yourself means leaving an unhealthy relationship, well, guess what? Now you're the right fit for a healthy relationship. So go find that and trust that, again, that your desires are not random. And I love that that's where our conversation took us because I do deeply believe that that's true. Thank you so much, Leslie. This has been a wonderful conversation and your insights are so amazing. I really appreciate it.

46:55 Thank you. I really appreciate having had this conversation with you. Something I'll just say really quickly is I surprised even myself by jumping straight into the deep end of the pool with the Akashic Records. But this has been a lovely conversation. And based on having listened to your podcast, I was so excited to do this with you. So thank you for having me. Thank you. And folks, hope you've enjoyed this one. Look forward to having you join us again soon. And as normal, namaste. Namaste. Every conversation on this podcast eventually comes back to that same question, not how do I get more, but is this actually who I am? If something you heard today moved you just a little closer to an honest answer, that is enough. I'm Dr. Doug. This is Inspire Vision.

47:45 Until next time.