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Sept. 29, 2026

The Pause Before You Answer

The Pause Before You Answer
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Most of us are living by default. Saying yes when we mean no. Chasing a version of life that looks good from the outside but never quite settles inside. Author and strategic life coach Kirana Sidin joins Dr. Doug from Jakarta to talk about the simplest practice she knows: pause before you answer. In that small space, patterns become visible, clarity arrives, and you begin to hear what actually matters to you underneath everyone else's expectations. https://cheersforagoodlife.com

Inspire Vision Podcast is broadcast on K4HD Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).

Inspire Vision Podcast TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Inspire Vision Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

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We'll be right back.

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Welcome to Inspire Vision. I am glad you are here. Kirana,

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welcome to the show.

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Thank you so much, Dr. Do for having me. I

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can't wait to have this wonderful conversation with you.

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I'm really excited. You know, it's interesting. Where do you live?

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Yeah, I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. It's like, yeah, probably

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people knows it too. But yeah, if people don't know, yeah,

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it's in the Southeast Asia, right? So yeah, it's basically

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near Singapore, near Malaysia. That's where I live, yeah.

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All right, and I'm in Thailand, so this makes our

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timing really good.

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Yeah, we're so close. We're just like a neighbor. Yes,

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that's great.

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So what I'd love for you to do is kind

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of share with the audience just briefly your background.

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Okay, my background. I think, yeah. Before I get into

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the journey, I also like, yeah, I do my professional

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work before. Yeah, I do like in the private sector.

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And also I do also government worker before. But yeah,

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I think that is something that I already left behind. Yeah,

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so many long years ago. And then I just become

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a mom and a wife too. So yeah, that is

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basically what I do. And then during that period, yeah,

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I think I found my work. path to the journey

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that I do right now, become an author and also

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strategic life coach. And so, yeah, and doing something meaningful

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conversation like this with you, Dr. Do, yeah, that's basically

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my background. I don't want to say it more like

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too long. I think it's not too exciting to hear about.

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So yeah, we just go like going with the flow

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with all the conversation.

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Well, and I'm always curious as to what was the journey,

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if there was one, that brought you, as you say,

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you were a government worker, you were doing all sorts

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of things, and then all of a sudden, here's a

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journey that brings you to being the author and writing

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about what you're writing about, being a life coach or

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a mentor for people who are struggling. Was there a

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specific journey or incidence in your life that brought you

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to that point?

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Yeah, you know, I think My journey to the point

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that I do right now is probably coming from unexpected place.

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It's coming from a comment from my youngest son that

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he was calling me, mom, you're so jobless. In the

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middle of casual dinner, which was just like having a

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dinner with the family. And then suddenly he said to me, mom,

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you're so jobless. Okay, okay. That is honest. Yeah, that

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is honest comment from only seven years old kids at

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that time. But I think that comment stayed with me because,

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you know, even though he didn't say it, I feel like, yeah,

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he was quite right about it. And then, like, he

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got the point because even though he didn't say it,

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I already feel it.

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You know.

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There's some kind of something missing in my life. I

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think something off, yeah, that I can do more than this,

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that I can capable more than this. And then I just, like,

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I do not pay attention, just like, Just like going

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with the flow, with the routine that I have to play.

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So yeah, I think that comment from my youngest son

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is more being like catalyst for me and also some

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kind of wake up call for me to do the

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reflection and the realization. So yeah, that's it. The unexpected

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place coming from my youngest son telling me that I'm

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so jobless. Yeah.

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Okay, so you're jobless, and you probably could have had

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all sorts of different directions that you could have gone.

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And yet, here you are talking about what makes a

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good life. And why that direction? What was the motivation

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behind moving into that direction? Obviously, writing your book, but

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also seeking to help people to start to live a

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better life than what they're experiencing now. What was the

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motivation behind that?

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Yeah, okay. After that comment, yeah, I do some kind

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of reflection because that, and then I realized that I've

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been drifting. I do not build something that's truly mine, okay?

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So I think that's the point, yeah, that I've been drifting.

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And then that makes me, that forced me, like, to

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find what's my next, right? Like, So I have to

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build something that truly mine so I can get some

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kind of that agency back to myself and also ownership

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back to myself. So I just at that time, I

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do not like thinking big. Yeah, I do not like

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planning the grand plan. No, I only started small. I

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start with only something that I know that I love

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the most. But it's begin like some kind of because

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the role that I have to play. Yeah, it like

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shifted in my daily plan. So yeah. That is reading.

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I always been a vivid reader and I always been

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love reading. So yeah, I come back to that habit

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that I love before all of this happen. So and

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then I start reading a book one hour a day

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after the house is empty. And then that reading eventually

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it shaped the way how I think. It's like begin

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like questioning my assumption toward everything that I experience or

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I witness. So yeah, and then like I try to

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like connect it with the reading that I read in

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the book. And then like, and then by the end

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of the day, I get more like clear thinking. So yeah,

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that's basically also why I help people through the coaching too.

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Because When I get that some kind of clarity, I

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think it's really kind of freedom. It's really freeing for me.

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So I want people to also like experience it too

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because when we have that some kind of clarity and

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we can get the more better decision, it feels like

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freedom and it's really freeing for us. So yeah, that's

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basically the coaching. And then the reading to also like

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make me to write a bit about all the things

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that I already read and then like because I already

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connected with the orderly event so I write it on

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a blog but become uh before I realized it already

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become hundreds and by the end of the day I

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think yeah it become my book cheers for the good

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life so yeah that's basically one tiny daily habit reading

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a book one hour a day I think yeah it

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leads me to the journey that I do right now

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so basically it's like that I already know the how

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to build this good life, I just want people to

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also like experience too because it feels really make us

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calm and also like we have a strong mind too.

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And then by the end of the day, we can

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like have the chosen life. So yeah, that's the idea.

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That's it. Okay. So who's your main group of clients?

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Is it mainly women? Is it both men and women?

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Who are most of your clients as far as where

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do they fit?

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Yeah, so I think mostly it's a woman. Mostly more women,

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more like kind of my age, that probably they feel, yeah,

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the thing that I do, that I experienced before, they've

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been drifting and they know what to do about their life.

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Or probably they don't know what to chase again in

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their career. Yeah, something like that. It's not about private, no.

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I think it's more like sometimes it's more about career too.

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But I also like work with, male, yeah, with the

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males also, and then with a group too, yeah, that's,

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I think, basically, with the executive too, yeah, I do

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the coaching with the executive and also a team, yeah,

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but mostly it's individual, and it's mostly, it's a woman.

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Okay, so here's what I find interesting, and I find

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this throughout Everyone that I've talked to with different backgrounds,

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there's a gap between the life that we're experiencing, for many,

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and what we truly want. And sometimes we're not even

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sure what we want, but what we're feeling is a

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discomfort in our lives that we're saying to ourselves, this

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is not what I want. I'm not sure what I want,

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but this is not what I want.

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Mm-hmm.

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Why is that happening among the group, particularly the women

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that you work with?

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Yeah, that's, I think, the most common, yeah, common factor.

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Why does those women experience that? Because we've been sold

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version that feels good from the outside, from social media, from,

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you know, because we live in the modern day, modern

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daily world, you know, you see world too. So we're like,

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like more comparison. It's more like noisy to look up

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that version of life that probably looks good, yeah, looks

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good from the outside. but once again we don't know

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whether it's like working to us or not like we

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just like have to figure out so we're just not

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like always look up to that some kind of person

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that that life so yeah i think that is something

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that probably most people like uh always experience and also

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probably uh the woman also like some kind of has

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this some kind of identity crisis yeah because like they're

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like living it they have to do the role as

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a wife as a mom but in the same time

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yeah they have to do something with their self so

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this is some kind of like this is more like

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you know this is they cannot find a balance yeah

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about it so that's I think the most the most

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mainly factor why people some kind of drifting and they

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don't know what do they really learn and sometimes because

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that that purpose yeah that direction feels like getting buried

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yeah buried underneath all of the busyness too That is,

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I think, also the factor why sometimes it's hard for

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people to find it. But then how we come to

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know what's our purpose? We have to pay attention. It's

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more like closer to attention. And then we get some

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kind of awareness. So I think this is not what

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I want. Or is this something that I want? We

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have to really pay attention. And we also have to...

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getting back again and again to what always keeps coming

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to us you know like there is a clue there

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because even though probably it's not feel good yeah from

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the uh from it's not looks good from the outside

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but it feels good to our to ourself and then

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probably it's not something that looks impressive from the outside,

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or probably people will tell you, I think it's not

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something good for you to do it. But you always

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keep coming back because I think this is something that

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matters to me. I think you have to really pay

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attention to some kind of clue like that because I

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think that is the clue that something that is really

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matters to you and more important to you. And then

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after that, you have to have that some kind of

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courage to live it. if you already had that answer,

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just leave it. You don't have to, you don't have

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to listen to the other people. And it's so like

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telling you, no, no, you cannot do that because it's

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not good for you.

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No.

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If you already think it's good for you and you

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always come back, coming back again and again, I think

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that's the answer. You have to leave it.

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Yeah. So, so here's my question. You know, I, I

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grew up in the U S. Um, so my experience

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was the societal pressures, um, The religious pressures, mainly for me, Christianity.

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And there were so many pressures and expectations of how

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we should be, who we should become, that type of thing.

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Right.

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You live in a different, I assume you're living in

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a different society there, mainly Muslim, right? Yes, yes.

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Majority system, yes.

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So how much do you find in where you grew

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up and where you are that societal expectations, that religion,

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that education creates all of those expectations that oftentimes are

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not genuine for an individual. And so they're failing all

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of those, and therefore that's the life they have to live.

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That's the identity that they have to have. And yet,

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that's not what makes them comfortable.

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Yeah, you know... Yeah, I live in Indonesia. It's majority

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Muslim and I think it's the highest population of Muslim

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in the world. But you know, this is, I think

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that's something that I have to straighten it up. Being

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a Muslim, it doesn't mean that we're not, being a

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Muslim woman, Muslim woman, importantly, especially, it's not that we're

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not like cannot do something and then like do something

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benefit for the society. No, that's I think that I

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have to straighten it up because probably people will think

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that because you're Muslim and then you tied to the

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conventional thing about being a wife, being a mom, and

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then like you cannot do anything aside of that. No,

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in my country, a woman and a man has the

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same rights to... to get the ownership to their self

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and also like growing and then do something about the society.

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So I think that's the point, yeah, the point that

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living in my country. But yeah, there's some kind of,

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there's certain places, yeah, probably more like traditional, more village, yeah.

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There's some kind of place like that makes woman and

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also mom, yeah, they can do anything. There's still some

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kind of place like that. That's whether we want to

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admit it or not. Yeah, that's still some kind of

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place that force a woman just only to stay at

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home and also doing, just being a mom and a

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wife and then they cannot, but they just tell, no,

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you cannot do anything. You just stay there being a mom,

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being a good mom, being a good wife and you cannot,

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you cannot like do something for the society. So yeah,

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that's I think also the realization and also the fact, yeah,

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that that happening in my country where I'm living in Jakarta, right?

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It's like, you know, it's like modern city and also

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modern society. People not expect us to do this, to

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do the like a traditional role, yeah, as like the village.

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But yeah, but yeah, still, yeah, but still sometimes we can,

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like a woman itself, like sometimes we're like experiencing, experiencing

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something that makes us more like, like, you know, like hold,

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hold ourself to do more, to do more for the others.

259
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And then like, we're just, I think this is not

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what we have supposed to do. I think I have

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to really some kind of hold. And then it's not like,

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We cannot express ourselves more freely. So, yeah, I think

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that is the fact that's happening, yeah, also in my country.

264
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It has the same right, but sometimes, yes, people, a

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woman itself, some kind of getting a hold experience to

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do the thing that they want to do.

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Well, and, you know, as you talk about the fact that,

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you know, people are living on autopilot. You know, that's

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one of the things you've mentioned in your talking points

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where they're following expectations, habits, other people's definitions of success. Yes.

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How do you help them to start making better choices

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that are intentional for them? And how do you help

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them to begin to understand or to discover and gain

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that clarity of what is it that I really want?

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You know, I have a I have something which I

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call a personal portrait, which is a behavioral analysis for

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an individual that goes in and talks about their three

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different personalities or identities. They're that innate, who they truly are,

279
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that societal expectation, and then how they happen to be

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living by combining those two. But also it gets into

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the fact that what are your true values and You know,

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what are your values? What are the motivators that are

283
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truly motivating you? And it seems to me that, and

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I've experienced this myself, that so often we are living

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other people's expectations to the point that we don't really

286
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know what our values are. We don't really understand what

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our motivators are. And because of that, we make decisions

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that that are not necessarily in our best interest, particularly

289
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as we look at young people who are trying to

290
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choose a profession. And oftentimes they're told, you need to

291
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be this, you need to do that. I experienced that.

292
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My whole family experienced that with my dad. And yet

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they get into that and all of a sudden they realize,

294
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you know what? This is not what makes me happy.

295
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And it's because it's not meeting their values and the

296
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motivations that are truly theirs. So what is your experience

297
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with that and understanding of that? Why is it that

298
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with the people that you work with, that they are

299
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living on autopilot and they're not really living true to themselves?

300
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And how do you help them to gain that clarity

301
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of what their true motivation is, what their true values

302
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are that helps them then to start making different choices?

303
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Yeah, you know, I'm going to start with the most

304
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easiest practical thing that probably people can do, yeah, just

305
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starting from today or tomorrow. I think it's simply pause

306
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for a while. Before like we're doing something or we

307
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want to say yes or no, yeah, we have to

308
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simply pause for a while, just get that some kind

309
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of slow down, yeah, sit down for a while and

310
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then asking questions. yourself, is this something that I really want?

311
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That is, I think, the most easiest way to do it. Because,

312
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you know, when we all more like always do something

313
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by default, yeah, as you said before, living autopilot, we're

314
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like so many like we're responding it like automatically, more

315
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automatically again and again and again because probably people expect

316
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us to do so. And probably people will always telling

317
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us to do so. And probably I think that it

318
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feels right at this time. So yeah, I will say yes.

319
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So I think there is some kind of expectation and

320
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also We're like chasing someone's approval too. And then we're

321
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like getting this busyness and also like more like more distraction.

322
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It's easiest for us to always more automatically respond to

323
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something than just by default. So that's why I always

324
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tell to my people the work that with me, you

325
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have to slow down for a while. You have to

326
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really slow down and get post for a while and

327
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then thinking about it again. Yeah, I think, yeah, probably

328
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it's not easy for you to start. But if you

329
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always like continue doing it, yeah, slow down for a

330
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while before you want to say something, before you want

331
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to decide something, before you have to make decision. it

332
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will eventually, it will easier for you to do what

333
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next again, again. So I think this post, yeah, it

334
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will help us gain more like, first is awareness. Awareness

335
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to know what kind of pattern with always coming back.

336
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When there's some kind of event, And then what kind

337
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of pattern that we always like always come back? Probably

338
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we always say yes, even though we want to say no. That's,

339
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I think, the pattern. And it's like some kind of

340
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awareness is really help us, okay? Really help us to

341
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do what's next again. And then after you already realize

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that you're aware, that you're noticing that the pattern that

343
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always come back, I think the next step is you

344
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have that some kind of gain clarity. So, okay, this

345
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is my pattern. So what I want to do about this, yeah? So,

346
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and then like, and then you find, you like asking

347
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that question again, yeah? What is really matter to me?

348
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And what is the most important to me? Is this

349
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something that I do really want? So, yeah, basically that post, yeah,

350
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that post will help you to answer it, yeah, before

351
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you automatically react and respond by default and autopilot. So

352
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this post help you a lot. So after that, after

353
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you get that clarity, yeah, you can like leave it,

354
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leave the position that you want to choose because you

355
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already know what really matters to you. What's most important

356
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to you? And I think the question, what's our value?

357
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What's something that is really important to us and something

358
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that really matters to us? I think that is something

359
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:27.500
that we have to dig deeper by one of the

360
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:31.279
one of the client and each one of them, yeah,

361
00:22:31.619 --> 00:22:34.460
is something that we have to dig deeper because, yeah,

362
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there is something that you and yourself that have to know.

363
00:22:41.569 --> 00:22:41.950
It, yeah.

364
00:22:42.230 --> 00:22:44.849
It's not something that I know it. It's not you,

365
00:22:45.089 --> 00:22:48.460
but you and yourself only. That's something that I have

366
00:22:48.500 --> 00:22:51.539
to dig deeper again, yeah, in my issues, usually in

367
00:22:51.559 --> 00:22:54.609
my coaching. coaching session. But in the end of the day,

368
00:22:55.009 --> 00:22:59.589
they will get clearer thinking about it. So, yeah. So basically,

369
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I think if you like just only like some kind

370
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of only a simple, simple, simple decision, I think you

371
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always can also like slow down for a while.

372
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Yeah.

373
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And then give that space for yourself to always like

374
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find the answer and also have courage to live it. Yeah.

375
00:23:16.099 --> 00:23:18.930
Well, and you know, what comes to my mind is

376
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that's not easy.

377
00:23:20.970 --> 00:23:21.470
Yeah.

378
00:23:21.529 --> 00:23:24.109
Because you think about this, and I look at this

379
00:23:24.130 --> 00:23:27.619
a lot, you know, we are so controlled by fear,

380
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and the fear of literally experiencing a different life. In fact,

381
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:38.359
I just wrote an article for Substack, and it's talking

382
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about how many, you know, and this comes from, you know,

383
00:23:42.029 --> 00:23:44.430
living here in Thailand, and you have the Buddhism, and

384
00:23:44.470 --> 00:23:49.150
of course, there's this big concept of, you know, multiple lives, reincarnation,

385
00:23:49.170 --> 00:23:52.990
and so forth. And I'm not going there. But what

386
00:23:53.059 --> 00:23:58.039
I do realize is that we live multiple lives here.

387
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We are reborn consistently when we're willing to do exactly

388
00:24:05.529 --> 00:24:10.109
what you said, you know, develop that clarity to realize that,

389
00:24:10.150 --> 00:24:13.329
you know what, I'm living my life on autopilot. This

390
00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:16.670
is not what, this is not who I am. But

391
00:24:16.730 --> 00:24:20.470
then what you have happening is the fear that comes

392
00:24:20.589 --> 00:24:24.630
in because to make that change, to go from something

393
00:24:24.670 --> 00:24:27.930
you're so comfortable with that you've been doing for years

394
00:24:28.549 --> 00:24:32.410
and all of a sudden move into a new life,

395
00:24:32.450 --> 00:24:38.220
to literally be reborn into a new, different life and experience,

396
00:24:38.539 --> 00:24:43.460
that is fearful. And how do you help people, your clients,

397
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:48.309
to overcome that fear And be able to move forward

398
00:24:48.369 --> 00:24:52.380
and not let fear affect them and prevent them from

399
00:24:52.440 --> 00:24:53.839
experiencing that new life.

400
00:24:54.299 --> 00:24:57.720
Yeah, I think what you said is quite right, Dr.

401
00:24:57.740 --> 00:24:57.980
Do.

402
00:24:58.420 --> 00:25:00.910
I think, but this is the point, yeah. I think

403
00:25:02.430 --> 00:25:05.680
the changing... is self is not the absence of fear

404
00:25:05.740 --> 00:25:09.319
right you will probably like will happening that some kind

405
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:11.690
of fear I think it's human and it's also a

406
00:25:11.769 --> 00:25:14.029
good thing too I think if you get the some

407
00:25:14.069 --> 00:25:17.400
kind of awareness that oh yeah but I'm afraid how

408
00:25:17.460 --> 00:25:20.220
can I do this yeah That is, I think, something

409
00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:23.619
good because you aware, you notice that it will happening

410
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:26.160
to you. I think that is a good starting point.

411
00:25:26.539 --> 00:25:30.640
It's to do transformation. Yeah. We're not, we cannot saying

412
00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:33.089
that it's the absence of fear.

413
00:25:33.170 --> 00:25:33.349
No.

414
00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:34.609
Fear will always there.

415
00:25:34.869 --> 00:25:35.109
Yeah.

416
00:25:35.130 --> 00:25:38.309
That's a very human. And it's so, it's a good

417
00:25:38.369 --> 00:25:41.180
point that you experience it. That's more like noticing it.

418
00:25:41.609 --> 00:25:46.970
But yeah. And then what can I tell them that, okay, you, you,

419
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:51.720
you experience this fear. So is it like make you

420
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:54.019
want to stop or you just don't want to move?

421
00:25:54.420 --> 00:25:56.910
And then try to, and then try to leave that

422
00:25:57.009 --> 00:26:00.869
fear and just stay there. That's, that's the option, right?

423
00:26:01.329 --> 00:26:05.509
If you, if you choose to, to, to overcome that fear.

424
00:26:05.630 --> 00:26:08.930
And then knowing, yeah, once again, I get this form

425
00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:12.559
for me, a good life itself, more like these four

426
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:14.849
areas all together, you have to strengthen it.

427
00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:15.420
Okay.

428
00:26:15.819 --> 00:26:19.299
So first is self-respect and know that how to treat yourself.

429
00:26:19.660 --> 00:26:21.599
And then second is purpose.

430
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:22.099
Yeah.

431
00:26:22.140 --> 00:26:25.829
You can know what's the direction for you to build

432
00:26:25.910 --> 00:26:28.789
a meaningful life. And the third one is like meaningful

433
00:26:28.809 --> 00:26:31.849
relationship yeah you know where to put your attention to

434
00:26:31.910 --> 00:26:34.130
what kind of person that you want to build the

435
00:26:34.150 --> 00:26:37.710
life with and also the fourth one is growth yeah

436
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:40.539
you can more like always growing all the time i

437
00:26:40.660 --> 00:26:45.420
think when all this area like strengthened all together I

438
00:26:45.539 --> 00:26:50.769
think that fear probably will become eventually, will fade away

439
00:26:51.289 --> 00:26:55.089
and then disappear along the way. So because of that,

440
00:26:55.170 --> 00:27:00.089
we already like strengthened all of this together, self-respect, purpose, manipulation,

441
00:27:00.130 --> 00:27:03.210
also growth. I think by the end of the day,

442
00:27:03.369 --> 00:27:07.089
we know again and again, What really matters to us?

443
00:27:07.490 --> 00:27:10.779
What most important thing to us? What do I really want?

444
00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:16.539
Because one with another is not more aligned with all

445
00:27:16.579 --> 00:27:18.559
of the things that we want to do, more aligned

446
00:27:18.579 --> 00:27:22.829
with all the value that we have. So I think

447
00:27:22.910 --> 00:27:26.690
if already just do it all together, these four, I

448
00:27:26.730 --> 00:27:31.309
think the fear eventually will some kind along the way

449
00:27:31.549 --> 00:27:34.609
it will like fade away and suddenly it disappears but

450
00:27:34.730 --> 00:27:37.990
again again you have to have that courage to live

451
00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:41.420
it again again because knowing that that is matter to

452
00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:44.099
you but you don't know but you what you don't

453
00:27:44.140 --> 00:27:45.819
want to do something about it I think it's such

454
00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:48.119
a waste right because you already know what's matter but

455
00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:51.789
you don't have that courage indeed fear is real yeah

456
00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:54.529
and it's it's a good point for you to aware

457
00:27:54.569 --> 00:27:57.890
it but do not let yourself stay there and do

458
00:27:57.950 --> 00:28:00.569
nothing about it and don't want to have the courage

459
00:28:00.650 --> 00:28:03.930
to live something that you really want, that something really

460
00:28:03.970 --> 00:28:07.779
matters to you. I think it's not wise for you,

461
00:28:07.859 --> 00:28:11.420
and also it's just such a waste of time. So, yeah,

462
00:28:11.700 --> 00:28:15.200
basically you have to live the courage to live it, yeah.

463
00:28:15.619 --> 00:28:19.210
Yes, and I love the word courage. You know, every

464
00:28:19.309 --> 00:28:20.829
once in a while we try to come up with

465
00:28:20.910 --> 00:28:22.869
all of these different fun things, and I think of

466
00:28:22.910 --> 00:28:25.819
the three Cs, and I really never get into it,

467
00:28:25.869 --> 00:28:29.430
but it comes to my mind. You know, there's clarity. Yes.

468
00:28:29.569 --> 00:28:35.150
Then there's courage, and then there's consciousness. Once you have

469
00:28:35.190 --> 00:28:38.730
the courage, then you really need to develop that mindset,

470
00:28:38.769 --> 00:28:42.640
that consciousness of the direction you want to go. You know,

471
00:28:42.740 --> 00:28:45.779
one of the interesting things that I have done, and

472
00:28:45.799 --> 00:28:51.480
I love theology. I love different religions. But one of

473
00:28:51.539 --> 00:28:55.220
the things that I've done is going back as far

474
00:28:55.299 --> 00:28:58.000
as I can to the ancient times.

475
00:28:58.440 --> 00:28:58.559
Mm-hmm.

476
00:28:58.789 --> 00:29:03.819
Because as I have viewed what's gone on with religious beliefs,

477
00:29:04.579 --> 00:29:08.039
regardless of which that happens to be, is that there's

478
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:15.000
been a change that politically, philosophically, all of a sudden,

479
00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.059
here we are living, quote, what we think we should

480
00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:22.970
be living. And it's not really what was taught. And

481
00:29:23.230 --> 00:29:27.599
as I've looked at Hinduism, as I've looked at Buddhism,

482
00:29:27.740 --> 00:29:34.420
as I've gone back to original Hebrew, and even beyond that,

483
00:29:35.490 --> 00:29:40.039
I've not had a chance much with Islam. But I can...

484
00:29:40.150 --> 00:29:43.539
my question for you is how much of that ancient

485
00:29:43.690 --> 00:29:48.099
wisdom that so often we don't even really look at

486
00:29:48.180 --> 00:29:51.500
or study, how much of that really can teach us

487
00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:56.940
about our lives, our modern lives, and how we should actually,

488
00:29:57.019 --> 00:29:59.480
and I hate the word should, but how we choose

489
00:29:59.500 --> 00:30:03.730
to To truly live our lives, to experience that sense

490
00:30:03.789 --> 00:30:07.279
of peace and joy and happiness. Yeah.

491
00:30:07.740 --> 00:30:12.380
So I think one reason that timeless wisdom, yeah, still

492
00:30:12.460 --> 00:30:17.180
matters in this modern life, yeah, and it also like

493
00:30:17.460 --> 00:30:19.650
helping us to navigate this modern.

494
00:30:19.369 --> 00:30:19.829
Life, yeah.

495
00:30:20.289 --> 00:30:23.950
I think even though the world around us has changed

496
00:30:24.089 --> 00:30:27.690
much faster than we have, but I think the same

497
00:30:27.829 --> 00:30:29.230
question is remain the same.

498
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:29.859
Right.

499
00:30:29.980 --> 00:30:33.339
Like we have this smartphone, we have the social media,

500
00:30:33.380 --> 00:30:37.160
we have this endless information, we have more choices and

501
00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.339
more ways to stay connected. But underneath all of that,

502
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:46.210
we're still dealing with very old human question. That's the fact.

503
00:30:46.890 --> 00:30:50.150
That is like how much is enough? What actually matters?

504
00:30:51.049 --> 00:30:54.279
Who do I want to become? What deserves my attention?

505
00:30:54.670 --> 00:30:58.119
And how do I live well when I cannot control everything?

506
00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:00.920
So I think that question is remain the same when

507
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:03.660
we're like living in the ancient time and also like

508
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:07.029
living in the modern world, right? And then when I

509
00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:11.390
say like timeless wisdom, I don't mean a collection of

510
00:31:11.569 --> 00:31:15.269
old quotes or rules of how we should live, no.

511
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:19.650
I think I mean the ideas that have emerged again

512
00:31:19.809 --> 00:31:23.720
and again from generation of human experience. That's what I'm

513
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:26.160
saying with the timeless wisdom. Is it like more like

514
00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:31.500
knowing ourself, accepting what we can control, understanding that enough

515
00:31:31.619 --> 00:31:36.440
is enough, like or choosing our relationship carefully and remembering

516
00:31:36.539 --> 00:31:40.960
that our time is finished. So those ideas aren't new, right?

517
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:45.500
Like there's like old ideas, but modern life gives us

518
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:49.430
plenty of new ways to forget them. That's I think

519
00:31:49.829 --> 00:31:53.809
the most dangerous thing about this modern world. So yeah,

520
00:31:54.250 --> 00:31:58.670
so I think When again, this timeless wisdom, yeah, become

521
00:31:58.750 --> 00:32:03.589
useful because it doesn't necessarily gives us answer. It help

522
00:32:03.769 --> 00:32:09.279
us remember the question that matter. That's anxious wisdom for me.

523
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:12.140
And I don't think the answer, yeah, to modern life

524
00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:16.059
is to reject technology or romanticize the past, no. We

525
00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:19.039
can't and probably we shouldn't go back. But the question

526
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.240
is whether we can use the tools of modern life

527
00:32:22.579 --> 00:32:26.099
without allowing them to decide how we live, right? So

528
00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:29.660
technology can make life more convenient. Information can make us

529
00:32:29.779 --> 00:32:34.299
more informed. Productivity can help us get more done. But

530
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:36.819
none of those things can tell us what a meaningful

531
00:32:36.859 --> 00:32:39.440
life is, right? And that is still something we have

532
00:32:39.500 --> 00:32:42.839
to decide for ourselves. And perhaps, yeah, that's why timeless

533
00:32:42.859 --> 00:32:48.369
technology Wisdom for me remains timeless. The tools, yes, changes.

534
00:32:48.829 --> 00:32:53.960
But the fundamental question of how to live well does

535
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.180
not change. So, yeah, that's, I think.

536
00:32:56.819 --> 00:33:01.880
How much do you find the ego comes into this

537
00:33:01.940 --> 00:33:06.519
whole realm of not experiencing the life that we want to? Because,

538
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:10.279
you know, you talk about money, you talk about all

539
00:33:10.339 --> 00:33:15.230
these different things. But how often are you observing that

540
00:33:15.490 --> 00:33:20.240
people's happiness in their mind depends on how much they

541
00:33:20.299 --> 00:33:23.680
have or the kind of home they're in or some

542
00:33:23.700 --> 00:33:27.240
of the possessions they have or maybe even the position

543
00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:31.460
they are in society or whatever that happens to be. And,

544
00:33:31.859 --> 00:33:34.839
you know, we talk about that from the standpoint of

545
00:33:35.380 --> 00:33:41.230
our needs, our wants, and oftentimes our identity being determined.

546
00:33:41.809 --> 00:33:48.829
by those outside elements, rather than recognizing that our identity,

547
00:33:49.390 --> 00:33:51.869
and this is where I get into the theology part

548
00:33:51.910 --> 00:33:55.490
of it, our identity is actually, if we were to

549
00:33:55.549 --> 00:33:59.950
look at it, that divine nature that exists within each

550
00:34:00.109 --> 00:34:03.710
one of us, the divinity of who we truly are,

551
00:34:04.329 --> 00:34:08.900
and yet we allow our ego to to determine that, okay,

552
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:11.019
this is who I am because I have this or

553
00:34:11.099 --> 00:34:14.679
I have that. Do you find that occurs a lot

554
00:34:14.699 --> 00:34:16.429
with the people you work with? Yeah.

555
00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:20.550
I think that is one of the biggest misconceptions about

556
00:34:20.590 --> 00:34:23.730
a good life itself. People will assume that a good

557
00:34:23.769 --> 00:34:28.110
life or meaningful life or fulfillment life will instantly happen

558
00:34:28.170 --> 00:34:31.179
to you when you already reach that kind of milestone,

559
00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:34.679
probably that successful career when you have so much money

560
00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:37.199
in your hand. So I think that is something, the

561
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:40.610
biggest misconception about a meaningful life itself. That people will

562
00:34:40.699 --> 00:34:43.530
tend to see that a good life, it will like

563
00:34:44.010 --> 00:34:47.289
instantly happening to you when you already reach that point

564
00:34:47.530 --> 00:34:51.710
of life. Probably life that looks impressive from the outside, right?

565
00:34:51.889 --> 00:34:55.349
I think, wow, she already had that good life. But

566
00:34:55.449 --> 00:34:57.489
as for me, it's not the way it works, right?

567
00:34:57.809 --> 00:35:01.130
Because a good life itself more like not one area

568
00:35:01.170 --> 00:35:05.000
maximized out. When I say one area maximize out, like, yeah,

569
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:07.739
you have this wonderful career, you have this successful career,

570
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:10.329
you have so much money, but it's only one area

571
00:35:10.369 --> 00:35:13.889
of your life. There's not whole quality of your life. So,

572
00:35:14.389 --> 00:35:17.610
I think you cannot like have that meaningful life or

573
00:35:17.750 --> 00:35:21.190
also like have that good life when you always like

574
00:35:21.250 --> 00:35:24.969
chasing that one area. No, you will, along the way,

575
00:35:25.010 --> 00:35:28.090
you will feel something still missing. You will feel something off.

576
00:35:28.510 --> 00:35:31.659
I'm pretty sure because I experienced, I also experienced that.

577
00:35:32.179 --> 00:35:36.199
I get this, really have, I have that meaningful relationship

578
00:35:36.239 --> 00:35:38.820
with my family, with my husband. But along the way,

579
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:41.400
I feel, then I have a happy life. I do

580
00:35:41.420 --> 00:35:43.670
not like complaining about it. I have a happy life.

581
00:35:43.929 --> 00:35:46.130
But you know, somewhere along the way, I still feel

582
00:35:46.150 --> 00:35:49.289
something missing because I do not have purpose. I don't

583
00:35:49.309 --> 00:35:52.409
have that meaningful direction to build my life. Yeah, that

584
00:35:52.449 --> 00:35:55.449
is something, yeah. So I cannot like always choosing this

585
00:35:55.550 --> 00:35:58.409
one area, yeah. If you think that you already have

586
00:35:58.429 --> 00:36:00.230
that some kind amount of money and you have that

587
00:36:00.250 --> 00:36:04.230
success career and that is meaningful life. No, this is again, yeah,

588
00:36:04.389 --> 00:36:09.789
all of this area, four of area have to build together. Self-respect,

589
00:36:10.269 --> 00:36:13.320
And also purpose and also meaningful relationship and also growth.

590
00:36:13.719 --> 00:36:16.460
You have to do it all of this all together.

591
00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:20.900
Because that is what makes you like have this more

592
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:23.420
quality of life, whole quality of life. It's not only

593
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:27.269
one area. That I think the most important thing people

594
00:36:27.329 --> 00:36:30.250
have to understand, yeah? And this is not some kind

595
00:36:30.329 --> 00:36:33.199
of something that you have to always check out because

596
00:36:33.550 --> 00:36:37.820
what really matters for us when we live in the 40,

597
00:36:37.820 --> 00:36:41.110
probably will feel different when we live in the 60.

598
00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:44.059
So you have to always like, yeah, get that some

599
00:36:44.099 --> 00:36:46.880
kind of clarity again to know, yeah, to know what

600
00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:49.030
really matters for you at that point of your life.

601
00:36:49.469 --> 00:36:53.590
So once again, yeah, success in it is really good. Yeah,

602
00:36:53.690 --> 00:36:56.909
it's real. Yeah, and probably it helps you to build

603
00:36:57.070 --> 00:37:00.489
a good life, but do not always define a good

604
00:37:00.570 --> 00:37:03.090
life with something happening to you when you have that

605
00:37:03.110 --> 00:37:05.489
some kind of amount of that money. No, you have

606
00:37:05.530 --> 00:37:08.739
to build it by all of those foundation altogether.

607
00:37:09.019 --> 00:37:13.119
Yes. So any stories that you can share about clients

608
00:37:13.159 --> 00:37:16.119
that you've worked with where you've literally been able to

609
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:21.199
help them to move from living someone else's life and

610
00:37:21.260 --> 00:37:26.119
having the identity that isn't truly them to actually working

611
00:37:26.179 --> 00:37:29.400
through that process to the point where they are now

612
00:37:29.699 --> 00:37:34.820
genuinely themselves and enjoying life because they have found themselves.

613
00:37:35.260 --> 00:37:39.590
Yeah, I think there's so many clients that already experienced

614
00:37:39.659 --> 00:37:45.750
it from my coaching practice. Before, clients told me that

615
00:37:45.849 --> 00:37:48.710
they don't know what to do with their life or

616
00:37:48.750 --> 00:37:53.190
probably they feel like they don't have agency to themselves.

617
00:37:53.230 --> 00:37:55.750
And also, I don't know which part of the career

618
00:37:55.789 --> 00:37:59.570
that I want to do next because I think all

619
00:37:59.650 --> 00:38:02.570
is like being some kind of dead end for them. So,

620
00:38:02.949 --> 00:38:05.309
and then, yeah. Yeah, I help them to gain that

621
00:38:05.369 --> 00:38:10.179
clarity again and again, dig deeper. It's more like, you know,

622
00:38:10.219 --> 00:38:14.480
what's the real problem? When they say like, probably I

623
00:38:14.519 --> 00:38:18.360
want to change my work. Probably the answer is not

624
00:38:18.420 --> 00:38:21.190
like changing your work. Probably why you have to change

625
00:38:21.230 --> 00:38:23.840
your work? What happened, right? And then we have to

626
00:38:24.139 --> 00:38:27.280
dig deeper again what's happened next. So yeah, eventually it

627
00:38:27.340 --> 00:38:31.440
will lead us to something bigger than only the question,

628
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:34.630
the first question, I have to change my work, I

629
00:38:34.670 --> 00:38:38.250
have to change office, yeah. That is lead to the

630
00:38:38.409 --> 00:38:42.059
bigger problem and problems why they want to do it.

631
00:38:42.429 --> 00:38:46.380
So yeah, basically when I'm helping people, yeah, and then

632
00:38:46.460 --> 00:38:49.360
it's more like they like more like getting stuck in

633
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:52.550
their face of life and then And in the end

634
00:38:52.619 --> 00:38:54.880
of the day, they gain that kind of the clarity.

635
00:38:55.260 --> 00:38:57.380
And by the end of the day, they know what

636
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:01.019
truly matters to them and know that is something that

637
00:39:01.079 --> 00:39:04.159
they want to achieve for their life. So yeah, in

638
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:06.199
the end of the day, they can make a better decision.

639
00:39:06.519 --> 00:39:10.139
I always tell them that that is not only the way.

640
00:39:10.409 --> 00:39:13.650
When you already know this is the way, but to

641
00:39:13.730 --> 00:39:17.070
get to the direction, you can probably have a little

642
00:39:18.510 --> 00:39:22.400
detour first, probably. And then like, eventually you will find,

643
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:25.429
you will lead to the journey that you want to reach.

644
00:39:25.849 --> 00:39:29.050
So yeah, that's basically that I do, yeah, with my

645
00:39:29.130 --> 00:39:32.219
coaching practice. And also more like getting clarity and also

646
00:39:32.699 --> 00:39:34.059
in the end of the day, you can get the

647
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:36.099
better decision to do what's next with your life.

648
00:39:36.519 --> 00:39:39.340
Well, and you know, I find it interesting. We talk

649
00:39:39.380 --> 00:39:42.559
a lot and, you know, as I've interviewed so many people,

650
00:39:43.039 --> 00:39:45.199
you know, we talk about, do I need to change

651
00:39:45.260 --> 00:39:50.760
my job? And quite honestly, in many cases, yes. yes,

652
00:39:50.940 --> 00:39:54.900
your job is literally, your work is affecting you in

653
00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:57.719
such a negative way, you need to make that change.

654
00:39:58.320 --> 00:40:00.900
But I think there's also people who think, okay, I

655
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:03.739
need to change my job because I'm not happy. And

656
00:40:03.980 --> 00:40:06.820
as I've worked with people over the years, one of

657
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:09.639
the things that has come to my mind is that

658
00:40:10.139 --> 00:40:13.960
you don't necessarily have to change your job, but rather

659
00:40:14.519 --> 00:40:17.460
go back and discover what are those motivators? What are

660
00:40:17.500 --> 00:40:21.070
those values for you? And are there other things you

661
00:40:21.090 --> 00:40:25.210
can do outside of work that would help to fulfill

662
00:40:25.289 --> 00:40:28.860
that and then change your mindset about what work is

663
00:40:28.929 --> 00:40:32.880
all about? And rather work being your life, work is

664
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:37.940
merely a means to be able then to experience those

665
00:40:38.019 --> 00:40:41.260
values and those motivators by something else that you're doing,

666
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:45.119
whether it's art, whether it's music, whatever it happens to be.

667
00:40:45.969 --> 00:40:49.360
And I think so. For many people, they need to understand,

668
00:40:49.380 --> 00:40:53.329
or it would be important for them to understand that, yes,

669
00:40:53.449 --> 00:40:55.389
maybe you really do need to change your job.

670
00:40:55.630 --> 00:40:55.929
Yeah.

671
00:40:56.150 --> 00:41:00.170
But at the same time, you know, maybe not. Maybe

672
00:41:00.210 --> 00:41:03.610
if you can find things to do outside of work

673
00:41:04.150 --> 00:41:08.480
that help to fulfill and then identify that that work

674
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:11.780
is what's helping you to enjoy those other areas of

675
00:41:11.820 --> 00:41:15.539
your life, it's a change of mindset. And it makes

676
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:18.880
such a difference. So As we're getting to a close,

677
00:41:18.940 --> 00:41:21.320
number one, how do people find you? How do they

678
00:41:21.380 --> 00:41:22.260
find your book?

679
00:41:22.780 --> 00:41:27.139
Yeah, you can find my book in the Amazon. Basically,

680
00:41:27.219 --> 00:41:32.099
it's Amazon US, Amazon UK, all the Amazon. And also, yeah,

681
00:41:32.119 --> 00:41:34.059
probably you can find also in the Barnes & Noble.

682
00:41:34.619 --> 00:41:37.880
So yeah, that's my book. You can find it. And also,

683
00:41:39.389 --> 00:41:44.750
probably my website, cheersforthegoodlife.com, but I just noticed that it's broken.

684
00:41:44.789 --> 00:41:47.590
But yeah, I will figure it out. So, yeah, that's

685
00:41:47.610 --> 00:41:52.510
basically the home for my body of work, yeah, cheersforthegoodlife.com.

686
00:41:52.550 --> 00:41:54.349
You can find my book there. You can find my

687
00:41:54.389 --> 00:41:58.130
coaching practice and also my writing, yeah, my real thought,

688
00:41:58.150 --> 00:42:01.489
my understanding, and also my next event and also my

689
00:42:01.510 --> 00:42:04.710
speaking engagement, yeah. So, yeah, that's basically it.

690
00:42:04.730 --> 00:42:12.460
Okay. And for the folks that didn't understand that, it's cheersforthegoodlife, C-H-E-E-R-S. Yeah.

691
00:42:12.929 --> 00:42:17.210
For a good life dot com. Yes. And so what

692
00:42:17.230 --> 00:42:19.849
would be that final message that you'd like to share

693
00:42:19.889 --> 00:42:22.789
with the audience that would make a difference for them?

694
00:42:23.269 --> 00:42:27.409
Yeah, I want to say this to the people that

695
00:42:27.489 --> 00:42:30.769
listen to this conversation. I just want you to know

696
00:42:30.849 --> 00:42:34.090
that a good life itself is not something that is

697
00:42:34.150 --> 00:42:37.099
suddenly happening to you. It's not something that will fall

698
00:42:37.159 --> 00:42:39.780
for you, yeah? And then like happening to you instantly, no.

699
00:42:40.099 --> 00:42:43.250
It is something that you have to build by one

700
00:42:43.329 --> 00:42:47.130
intentional choice at a time. So yeah, you have to

701
00:42:47.230 --> 00:42:50.449
build it. If you want to build that meaningful life

702
00:42:50.889 --> 00:42:56.260
by doing this self-respect, proposed relationship and growth all together.

703
00:42:56.739 --> 00:42:59.119
And then knowing what truly matters to you, what's really

704
00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:03.000
important for you and also what you really want. And

705
00:43:03.460 --> 00:43:07.159
you have to have this some kind of habit to

706
00:43:07.260 --> 00:43:10.539
pause for a while before you want to answer to something,

707
00:43:10.579 --> 00:43:12.940
before you respond to something, you have to do some

708
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:15.389
kind of habit to pause for a while. So by

709
00:43:15.449 --> 00:43:17.210
the end of the day, you will not like always

710
00:43:17.570 --> 00:43:22.409
do it by default and autopilot. So yeah, that's from me, Dr.

711
00:43:22.429 --> 00:43:22.650
Do.

712
00:43:22.710 --> 00:43:23.489
Thank you so much.

713
00:43:24.170 --> 00:43:29.139
Oh, thank you. And I appreciate your thoughts. You know, it's,

714
00:43:29.260 --> 00:43:32.840
I love interviewing people from around the world because I

715
00:43:33.469 --> 00:43:38.250
What I find fascinating is that regardless of where you're

716
00:43:38.289 --> 00:43:41.280
from or the society that you happen to be from,

717
00:43:41.800 --> 00:43:46.719
there's that commonality of goodness, of desiring to truly become

718
00:43:46.780 --> 00:43:49.320
the best that we can become and to experience a

719
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:53.039
life of joy and happiness. So, Karana, thank you so

720
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:55.090
much for being on the show.

721
00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:56.670
My pleasure. My pleasure, Dr.

722
00:43:56.750 --> 00:43:56.909
Do.

723
00:43:56.989 --> 00:43:59.920
It's such an honor to be in your show. I

724
00:43:59.980 --> 00:44:04.239
really enjoy it. I genuinely also appreciate all of your

725
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:07.619
insightful talk too. So yeah, thank you so much.

726
00:44:07.880 --> 00:44:10.579
Thank you. And folks, I hope you've enjoyed this. I

727
00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:13.219
hope there's been some things that have been said today

728
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:15.469
that will make a difference in your life. So this

729
00:44:15.570 --> 00:44:19.190
is Dr. Doug, as usual, saying namaste.

730
00:44:19.610 --> 00:44:20.329
Namaste.

731
00:44:21.170 --> 00:44:24.969
Thank you. Every conversation on this podcast eventually comes back

732
00:44:25.010 --> 00:44:27.869
to that same question, not how do I get more?

733
00:44:28.309 --> 00:44:31.670
But is this actually who I am? If something you

734
00:44:31.710 --> 00:44:34.570
heard today moved you just a little closer to an

735
00:44:34.610 --> 00:44:39.469
honest answer, that is enough. I'm Dr. Doug. This is

736
00:44:39.550 --> 00:44:41.619
Inspire Vision. Until next time.