Aug. 25, 2026
Who Are You When the Work Is Gone?
Many of us are living a life someone else chose for us. Author and longtime coach Chip Scholz joins Dr. Doug to talk about what happens when identity gets tied to a title, a family business, or a role we were expected to fill, and what remains when those things fall away. They speak gently about layoffs, illness, changed motivators, and the slow work of returning to who we actually are. A conversation for anyone quietly asking, is this really me? Scholzandassociates.com
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This program is designed to provide general information with regards
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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,
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professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services
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of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.
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I have spent years in conversation with people who are
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successful by every measure and still quietly restless, not broken,
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not lost, just aware somewhere underneath the noise that there
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is a version of their life that feels more honest,
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more grounded, more genuinely theirs. This podcast exists for those people,
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for the ones who are done performing and ready to
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go deeper.
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My name is Dr. Doug. Welcome to Inspire Vision. I
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am glad you are here. Chip, welcome.
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Dr. Daga, I'm so glad to be here. Thank you
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very much.
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Oh, and I'm really excited, as we were just chatting
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a little bit before. Your focus has become so similar
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and analogous to what I am so focused on now
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that I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I'd love
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for you to kind of share with the audience your
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background very quickly, talk a little bit about your book
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that you've written, and then... We'll get into all of
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the other topics that we want to talk about.
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Yeah, you know, it's funny because I've kind of defined
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myself differently these days than I have. I've spent the
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last 30 years as an executive coach and a facilitator
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and a speaker and all those kind of things. But
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now I really call myself an author, a speaker, and
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a craftsperson. You can see behind me a whole bunch
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of different wooden objects. Those are all things that I've made. Wow.
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I love woodturning. In fact, I was just out finishing
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a couple of Christmas ornaments while we were waiting for
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time to speak. I think when you become a coach
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and you start to have some of your own thoughts
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and you read pretty broadly and you read all the
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great people, the John Maxwells and the Stephen Coveys and that,
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you start to get your own idea. And that led
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to writing a book, which is Small Decisions, Big Shifts.
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That came out in October of last year. Took me
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10 years to write it. And there's a story that
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goes along with that, but I'll save that for another time.
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And I'm You know, I was so thoroughly enjoying the
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writing process that I wrote another one. It took me
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about a month and a half to write it. And
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that one was Every Dog Has His Day. That came
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out in March of this year. And I just kept going.
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It took me about six months to write another one
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called Handoffs, which is about family business. That's coming out
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in October of this year. And I'm working on another
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one for next year.
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Oh, that's fantastic. So you know what's always interesting? Here
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you have this major business orientation that you've done for years.
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I had a dental practice for 21 years before neurological
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situations eliminated that. But what I find interesting is the
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journey that people are on, particularly as I have an
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opportunity to visit with them like this, and to see
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how that journey has changed their life to the point
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that they're doing now what they're doing. So for instance,
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what you're doing now is so different, I think, from
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what you used to do. What was your journey?
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What happened? And how did that change take place? Was
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it gradual? Was it sudden?
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Well, I was, I was a big company guy, you know,
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so I worked for Del Monte, which at the time
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was an independent company, but it ended up selling to
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RJ Reynolds while I was working for them, selling beans
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and corn and ketchup in Charlotte and Atlanta, left them,
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ended up in the air freight business and was selling
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for them in Atlanta, got promoted to a district manager
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position in Tampa. And then got promoted again and sent
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to Los Angeles. Talking about quite the cultural shock to
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go from Tampa, Florida to Los Angeles. I'd grown up
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in Chicago, so big cities weren't that much of a
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mystery to me. But my wife and kids had a
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difficult transition with the culture. But along the way, I
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ended up working for a company called BFI. It was
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a trash company at the time. And, you know, it's
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funny because all of the companies that I worked for
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don't exist in their same form today.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, most of them are gone. But in May of 98,
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I got laid off. And BFI was going to sell.
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We didn't know it at the time, but they were
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going to sell about six months later. And they were
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getting rid of all the people who knew where the
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bodies were buried. So, you know, I was a lobbyist.
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And I'd been a lobbyist for 10 years. So I
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got laid off and I called my wife and I said, hey,
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guess what? I'd got the package. And she said, great.
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She said, so what do you want to do? And
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I said, I know a couple of things. I know
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I don't want to do it here. And I don't
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want to work for anybody else. And I want to
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hang my own shingle. And she said, OK, let's figure
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it out. So we spent about a year. We came
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back to North Carolina. We started building a house, went
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back to L.A., took temporary permanent jobs, and made our
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plans to move. And so in July of 99, we
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moved to North Carolina. We moved in a 19-foot travel
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trailer with five cats, two dogs, and three humans.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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That's another story. Spent a month and a half on
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the road coming from the West Coast to the East Coast.
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In fact, we put her feet in the Pacific in
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Santa Monica and put them in the Atlantic outside of Charleston,
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South Carolina. Just had a great time. And we got
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back here and then all of a sudden we had
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to figure out what we wanted to do. you know,
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my wife and I didn't have a job. Um, we
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had a grown daughter that was, uh, that was with
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us as well. And, you know, um, my wife started
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a business, I started a business and here we are
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almost 30 years later. Um, I, I don't think the
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business is the same today as it was when I
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started out. Certainly I, you know, I, I wanted to
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be a, um, a platform speaker, you know, somebody who
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speaks for a living and, and, uh, And I found
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out that that is just a lonely job. You know,
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you get all kinds of love when you're on stage
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for two hours. And in fact, I heard a comedian
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talk about this because it's the same thing as being
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a comedian. You go on stage and you do your
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set or you do your motivational speech and you walk
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off stage and people are applauding and, you know, buying
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you drinks and that. And then you go back to
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your hotel room and eat bad food and wait for
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your plane. And that's it. And I didn't want that
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life for myself. I wanted relationships. I wanted to make relationships.
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And that's where I found coaching. And so that helped.
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Well, and, you know, that's so interesting. I've really been
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focusing for a number of years, but more recently developed
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a program called the 4D Personal Portraits. And it goes
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to talking about what you were just sharing is that,
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you know, so often we find ourselves doing things because
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we've been told this is what we need to do.
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You know, for me, five boys, one daughter in our family.
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And my dad basically was a classical voice teacher for
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university and, you know, nationally known. But his comment to
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us was, you will not go into teaching.
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You will all become professionals. And for the most part,
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we did.
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And, you know, it's interesting how we, quote, become what
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we've been taught to become in so many times. And
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then later on in life, for whatever reason, when things happen,
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all of a sudden we find ourselves in a much
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more enjoyable and peaceful experience. I know my daughter was
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going for her Ph.D.
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In sociology.
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And she was at the master's degree and had a
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whole program ready to go into the PhD. And she said, Dad,
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I'm not sure I feel that way. And of course,
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we had done this analysis for her. And it was like,
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you know, when you look at this, this is not
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who you are. And so she finished her master's, went
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on and is doing something entirely different. And you know,
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it sounds like exactly for you, too. You know, you
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were doing what you were doing, doing it very well.
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But here you are now doing something that my impression
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is you absolutely love. And as you say, you know,
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speaking was so dramatically attractive. And yet when you realized
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that's not what I really want to do, and you
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had the ability to understand that within yourself, it's so
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fascinating that you're able to do that. And As you
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work with people, how often do you find that they
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are doing what they've been told to do or becoming
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what they've been told to become from childhood on versus
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becoming who they truly are, which then resonates and they
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find that their work is no longer work, but it's
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just enjoyment.
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I'll answer that in two ways. One is my dad
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was the consummate salesman. He was an incredible salesperson. And
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that's the that's the place that I grew up is
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is he was a salesman sometimes on the road, but
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mostly it was, you know, being around. He didn't start
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traveling till we were junior high, high school. And so
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I just want to be like my dad, you know? Yeah.
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And I came out of school in 78. The recession
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was in full bloom then. And so I got a
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job selling. And, you know, it's not necessarily that I
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knew what I wanted to do. It's just what I
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was expected to do. The second way I'll answer that
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is that I work with a number of family businesses
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and multi-generational family business. There is an expectation that you
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will go into the business. And so many of the
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people that I deal with have been working in the
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business since they were six or eight years old. They
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were working on the dock or, you know, these are
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logistics business, trucking business, but they've been working. they've been
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working in the business since they were kids and they were,
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they were surrounded by the business and, you know, they were,
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they were in that soft, warm embrace, you know, of,
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of being in the business. And now they're 70 years
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old and still in the business, still running the business
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and they don't know what the hell to do. Yeah. Um, I, because, okay,
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selling it would be painful. Um, although a number of, uh,
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of people that I've known have, have done that. Uh,
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but selling the business is tough and, and, uh, um,
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Handing it off is tough. The book that I've got
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coming out is about a family business that there's an
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intergenerational handoff that has to happen, doesn't happen, and then
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there's some things that happen about that. And so much
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of their identity is wrapped up in what they do.
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And they just can't imagine that. what it'd be like
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not to be able to do that anymore. Um, and so,
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and so they hold on and they create all kinds
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of hell for, for their kids and for the families
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of their kids. And, um, you know, I've, I've just
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seen so many situations where, um, where, where the kids
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can't come over to Thanksgiving because, you know, they've, they've
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gotten at odds with the old man. Um, I had
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one situation where, uh, um, It just, it was a mess.
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And the kid ended up getting fired and then starting
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a business and started stealing employees. And again, Thanksgiving was
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not a good time for that family.
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Well, it can become such a mess. And yet at
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the same time, what I have found, and for me,
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it took decades to get to the point where I
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am now. And I'm still on that journey. I'm not
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even where I really want to be, I'm sure. But
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what's interesting is how much that self-talk, that external talk
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from family, from society, from school, from religion, whatever it
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happens to be, really affects the decisions we make. And
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then those decisions ultimately create the life we're experiencing, which
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so often is not what we want to experience. And
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in the case you're just sharing, it's very dramatic. But
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I think for many people, that experience is just something
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just doesn't feel right or there's some stress or something's
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going on that they're just not as happy and at
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peace as they could be. And so talk a little
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bit about that, how those assumptions, how the self-talk really
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affects our outcome and experience in life.
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A friend of mine, a guy named Art Blanchford, he
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also runs a podcast, Life in Transition, if you ever
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get a chance to listen. He's a brilliant guy. And
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he wrote something recently that I thought was amazing, and
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I'm going to butcher it. But it was, retirement is
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not the time to figure out what your life was for.
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Think about that. Retirement is not the time. If you
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are waiting for retirement to figure out what your purpose is,
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