From Trauma to Bliss: Elke Scholz’s Journey of Healing and Practice

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0:44 Denzel Washington, welcome to inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to. Do the same. Okay, welcome to the show. Thank you. It's so great to say see you again. Doug. Yeah, and folks, just so you know, we talked four years ago, wasn't it. Yeah, that was a great, great time and it's good to see it come on again. So share with the audience kind of who you are and your journey. And you've written a few books, you've done a lot of different things, but just help the audience to understand who you are and where you're coming from and what kind of brought you to this point of writing the books and really focusing on the topic that you now enjoy focusing on well.

1:33 I set my purpose in my twenties. I took a workshop, and I've tweaked it different ways, though it's been very similar. Is to enhance people's lives, to ease their journey in this life. And that's my purpose. And so the books came about because I felt that people were falling in the gaps. Not everybody can get a code coach, not everybody can have therapy or get it or afford it. And the books, I say cost less than a pizza. Usually people they can relate to what pizza costs, you know, And there's just hundreds of strategies in the books. And so that felt really really good to produce these books.

2:21 And of course it's my own journey of loving my life and my own healing. And as we were saying a little earlier, more and more I'm in this bliss place of happiness and love and giving out prayers and just vibrating and shining my light. So I love doing these talks and these interviews, and my wish is always that I'm bringing value and that someone can take away and go, oh yeah that resonates with me, and that it makes a better day for them. That's wonderful. And so you've got your two books. You got Love in your Life, yes and A, and then you have Anxiety Warrior and I have.

3:05 A volume too, Yes, I know. So yeah, and then someone said there's more books in you and I just kind of went, whoa, I'm still working and I'm planning to travel. I'm going to be doing more book talks and sharing. So yeah, then they've just been inspired. The other thing I've been really happy about is I did an audio meditation series and it's on all audio platforms. People can go to it for free. It doesn't have music to the background, but it certainly has the meditations and it's about loving your life and coming through this process and putting these ingredients together. So that was launched in September, and CD baby has launched it internationally since December, so it's still kind of new and it's very exciting.

4:01 And then brain Fitness app has taken it and put isochronic tones to it and viral beats and audio and also visual to it. So it's very powerful when it's together with. Those elements, you know, having those having those elements of this, you know, the vibration and all of that that goes along with it is just amazing. So you said something, and I'm going to ask you. You're going to get into this a bit because you're living a life of bliss, You're living a life of love. You have achieved something that I think that everyone is looking for. And my question is how how on earth if you look back at your past and obviously you've gone as I know, you know, you've had life of tremendous anxiety at times and all of those type of things, and yet here you are now experiencing that life of bliss and happiness.

5:00 Could you share with the audience if you don't mind being a little bit transparent here and vulnerable and kind of here with the audience, you know what you went through and what are the things that you did to achieve that, because I think everyone that's listening would love to be able to say, you know, I am totally living a life bliss and happiness. Well, if I were to say one word it's practice. Okay, one word is practice. So the bigger part of it is and you know you said vulnerable, and I actually could feel it in my heart and my throat. Is I had a very difficult childhood and lots of trauma in that childhood, and yet there's was this core of determination for healing and spirituality. And I've had good people in my life that encouraged me and very spiritual and strong experiences. So to say to everyone, you know what, it takes courage to.

6:07 Not take. Medication, to face yourself, to face these traumas. It's hard work. I'm not saying it's easy. However, it gets better every step. And I'm registered psychotherapist, so my work is to help people with trauma, and so I do encourage them, and it's one step out of time. And those first few steps they're very scary, they feel very dark. They just really know that it gets better. And when I say so, it's courage, it's determination and intention and knowing that you can do this. There's so many tools that we have and resources, and the way I presented my books has been always like a smorgas board, So I don't put anybody in a cookie cutter. I don't say, oh, do this like me, though. There's some key elements, so I'm glad you asked this, and I'm sure you do them too.

7:08 Is when we wake up, we're in that beautiful alpha mode or I know we are so to lavish that to sit in that for a while. And when I do that, that's some beautiful meditation. And I've trained my brain. So we can talk about some brain training what that looks like to think about love and bliss. And this morning I did the oh noon and it was amazing. In my imaginary stage, people were lining up, souls were lining up for this bliss and this this beauty. And then I go into another practice of gratitude, and again it's training my brain. In the beginning, did it feel good, No, it felt like I was just doing an exercise. Because I heard from so many people it's the fastest way to switch your thinking and to bring and train your brain is practicing gratitude. And we can talk about that.

8:17 And then I go into exercise and the other thing is what's really key, And I also listen to other people that are happy and exude light. And so there's this process of this meditation and what that looks like for you is something you could shape. Though. The other key is to really get your blood circulating. So I do exercises in the morning. I just all the time, and it's interesting. I'm getting stronger, which is really fun. I don't need to wear a back brace anymore. I don't wear wrist braces, which I used to, and I do very vigorous work outside because of these exercises. Is and of course I want to have my blood flowing, especially even for our interview. That so that I'm thinking and on on point. So so that's that's kind of how I start my day.

9:13 Okay, So so let's let's talk about you know, you talk about and you had really a difficult childhood, yeah, and share with the audience kind of how that affected you and what you you know, in your in your early years and you know, as you became an adult and so forth, how did those experiences in early childhood affect you at that point of time in your life and what what were you experiencing And then we'll get into some of the solutions. But let let's talk about what you were experiencing because of those childhood traumas. Right. Uh, So I I think I had zero confidence.

9:57 I also felt very lost. I believe in in when I'm looking back in my teens, I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't see any use in living. And that still brings up some emotion for me because I think that's a sad thing for a teen to experience, and I'm I work with teens that that feel that way, and you know, it's just so blessed. I've been in touch with that teacher. I have two teachers that I attribute to saving my life. So there was that, and then I felt really lost because my genius and it took me a long time to realize we all have genius.

10:41 My genius is a theoryal My genius is nonverbal. Like I I I can say I'm a really great therapist. My brothers they're engineers, they're technicians, they're you know, they're brilliant with facts and history. And that's what was revered and supported in my family and not that you know, my parents they wanted me to do well. I just didn't fit into that. So I felt so lost. It was not nourished, the arts were not nourished that part of me, so it affected decisions. And then I can look back now. I had really bad anxiety. I also have a little bit of dyslexia. Sometimes you might hear me seeing my words a little bit, but most people get what I'm talking about. I stuttered as a teenager and in my early twenties. Yeah, so it was like choices and decisions of just trying to survive. And you know, none of us sign up to be suffering. We all want to be happy. And you know, if someone's going to ask you want to suffer today, like we know the answers gosh, no, I just want to be happy, and yet you know we're And then it's interesting because

12:12 there was something and I don't know always where it comes from. And I think we have a core of love and our you know, when i'm i'm I was touching my stomach in the camera, you can't see it is when we go and there's this core of creativity and love and there's all this debris and distraction. And so yeah, that's kind of how it affected me. Well, And did you have an aha moment that started to move you in a different direction? Obviously you you know, you went to college, you got your degree in psychotherapy, that type of thing. But was there an aha moment or was it kind of a gradual thing over months or maybe over years, to where all of a sudden, it's like, you know what, I don't want to live this way anymore? And then you went in a different direction.

13:01 Can you share with your audience what that was? Yeah, I had I think I had a few of those. I went to school very late, actually, and it was exactly what you said. I didn't want to live this way. I didn't want to struggle this way anymore. And I knew It's interesting. I knew I was meant for more. I always wanted to get a degree, though. You've got to know. One of the things is I thought I wasn't capable. So I actually wrote my first edition book before I went to school, and it was at one of my classes. My teacher just said welcome home. And that was huge and my anxiety though to go to school.

13:52 I remortgaged a house, I had a child at home, she was just eight, and I I had an accident with my car, I lost jewelry, I lost a camera. All because I was so so anxious, and yet people were going like, you know, three years are going to go by or four years are going to go buy anyways, like do you want to just carry on or do you want to at the end of that time say wow, I did it. And so I just really just did one semester at a time and yeah, I was. Yeah, it was really interesting when I think back to that, because I just counted, you know, I can do September to December and that's all I could handle. And then when December came, Okay, I can do another semester. Yeah, I was. I think it was just this sheer determination to change. And it's interesting because it's a great question and I think this has value. As you know, we look at our lives and you want to want to kind of take stock and say, okay, do I stay here, like what is the comfort? Or do I go and try and risk something and no matter what, when we invest in ourselves where it will work out, yeah, it will work out. So that was I just went one step out a time, well and it didn't work out exceedingly and crazy. Wow.

15:21 Yeah. And you know you talk about courage, you talk about bravery, and as you say so often, in our lives, you know, we can look at what's going on, what's happened in the past and go, you know what, I don't like this, I don't I don't want this anymore. And yet it takes the courage to move in an entirely different direction and go to a new situation, and sometimes it doesn't work out, but then it takes chourage to do it again until you actually find that moment in time where okay, I'm here, I'm I'm really loving this and moving forward. So the other thing that fascinates me about your story is that you know so often and we all have experiences as children. Some are a little bit worse than others, and obviously yours was pretty tough.

16:13 But initially you were kind of the victim, if if I can observe that, you know, you were kind of the victim. You were at the effect of all of this, as you say, and you were just lost and so on and so forth, and suddenly you took control. And when you took control, you started moving in a very positive direction. But what's interesting to me is is you look back now at this, do you feel upset, angry or gratitude for those experiences based on what you're doing now in helping other people.

16:55 Well, that's a loaded cannon. I know. Not every day am I grateful for this journey. I have to be honest, though. You know, it's interesting when you said that about the victim. That was another AHA moment. Is one of my therapists introduced me to the Carpman triangle. And I don't know if you're familiar with that. Now you are, no, No, I'm not corrected. Well, okay, so at the bottom of the triangle is victim. Okay, if you can imagine, and then there's persecutor and rescuer. Well, the only you just keep going around and around. The only way to switch that, and you just said it so beautifully, is you flip the triangle. So then you're flipping it and you're on top and you become the creator of your life and then you become the coach or the challenger. Very different. And so when that that was a big shift. I remember because you know, a therapist might say, and this is not useful, So any therapists out there are teachers that say you're your worst enemy.

18:12 That is devastating to hear when you're in that mode. And that was told to me, I just felt worse. Yeah, it wasn't until someone gave me the tool and so I never say that to a client or a friend or anything. I just you know, say hey, you know you're here. I show them the triangle and I said, the way you can change it is this way, and the light bulbs just go. That gives you hope, I mean to take charge of that. I was living my decisions even as a victim. Right, That's that's dark Knight of the soul stuff. Where I'm grateful is when we do this healing, we heal seven generations behind, a seven generations ahead. My children are eons ahead of me and mental health and success in their life as beautiful, independent children.

19:11 And it's because of the work I do. So that's what I'm grateful for. Well, that's what comes to my mind. I mean, I can imagine as you're working with different clients or patients however you want to refer to them. The reality is is that I can imagine that as they start to share some of the challenges that they're experiencing, you're able to identify and understand fully what's going on. And because you've been able to make the change, you are that much more powerful to be able to help them. Yeah, and that's a blessing.

19:52 Yes, and you know it's interesting. Yeah, I I'm okay. Now I'm in a really great place. Though it's been quite a journey. Well it is. It is a journey, and I don't know that the journey ever ends. But you're right, it's you know, living here in Thailand right now. And obviously I've enjoyed, you know, I get very curious, So I've enjoyed studying a bit about Buddhism. And of course his whole purpose was to help people to get to the point where they no longer were suffering, where they were really experiencing that list, and of course he had very specific ways to do that. And yet I observe what's going on with the community around me, and I see a lot of alcoholism. I see a lot of that going on, and recognizing that, you know, what, they have that available to them, and yet they're really not taking advantage of it. And I think that's true of all of us. You know, we have all of these wonderful truths and ways in which we can achieve that happiness and bliss, and yet so often we don't take advantage of it. And you know, as you say, you went through a period of time where you were lost, but suddenly you took advantage of it, and when you did, it's literally changed your life and put you in that

21:23 direction to where at this point in time, you're experiencing that happiness and bliss well, and you know, you. Touch on something very key and I see it. And so we just want to feel better. We all want to feel happier. We want to alleviate that stress or that anxiety. So is it a pill? Is it drugs? Is it alcohol? What happens? And my clients have shared this, They'll say, you know, when I describe what I feel in a meditation a lot, I get that from cocaine or I get that from pot, and it's fast. I just light up and I'm there and I go, yeah, but what about the next two days, Like you've lost those because your body is just exhausted, and they just, you know, so they've had to come to this place of you know, they thought it was a quick fix and it's not. And so it's it's like we've got to go through that work and that's sustainable. Those quick fixes aren't sustainable. And I'm not opposed to any of those.

22:38 I don't judge it. It's just that it doesn't change who we are. In fact, it kind of freezes us in that place. And it's temporary. So I remember, and this is interesting because I was a candy striper. I don't think they have those anymore in the hospital, though. There were young people in the war that had really blew up their brains with drugs. So I made a decision very early that I wasn't going to do that. And the other decision my father was an alcoholic and admitted alcoholic, and he blew his body apart literally and died very young. So those things were not They didn't look like options. They didn't look like, oh, this is going to be a good turnout, And so I always went to more what was more natural or facing it.

23:41 You know, if you have a headache, what is it? You need a little caffeine, chocolate water, right, It wasn't about reaching for a pill. So again it's like habits, habits and training and and so I have one client, actually a few clients that are taking small steps in building their meditation and their self esteem and self worth. And it's interesting that the what I call quick fixes are falling away. Well, and you know, you talk about meditation and I know that we wanted to talk a little bit about the power of thought, and you had dropped that up.

24:22 You know, it is fascinating how our thoughts control us, and oftentimes our thoughts are a result of our imprints as child and those experiences because they are controlling us. And yet when we take control of the power of thought and now we are in power over our thoughts, that seems to me to make such a difference. And so as we talk about that, one of the things that you've talked about before is this concept of creativity of passion and what does does that do for someone when they get to that aha moment as you did, where it's like, Okay, I'm going to be courageous enough to go to a different direction, or at least I want to. And where does passion and where does creativity come into that play to help them to be able to move forward in a different direction.

25:21 And just making that note, so it's interesting, you know, I want to talk just back a bit about courage, okay, And one of my actually a good friend and chiropractic friend mine said, when we have enough pain, we make change. And I think it's true. So I had enough pain and they didn't want to be living in that way anymore. And so the courage, like, you know, I don't want listeners to think that, you know, I'm this bear, this grizzly bear that has all this courage. No, I'm shaking in my boots. I'm like almost so outside of myself, except I want to leave the pain and go to something better. So it's interesting and we don't have to talk about the word courage. It's like this determination that gets mixed in with that. Is so I just want.

26:28 People to know, you know, the pain can be the motivator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and yeah. So then you get into the concept of creativity and really discovering your passion. Right when we talk about creativity, isn't that isn't that more of I just want to understand more. I want to learn more. And as we start to really do that and study and so forth, all of a sudden, we start to gain greater. And yes, and no, I think I go to energy. So when you mentioned passion and energy, and I'm actually I've done a webinar on how we can access our vitality because we all have it. So here's an idea.

27:21 So let's say, well, here in Muskoka because we're so far away from an international airport, and so I don't know it might be different for anybody. However, let's say you've got this trip you're looking forward to and you've got to catch a flight. Well, for us, we have to get up at two in the morning. So it's interesting to me that and anybody I tell this too, especially here. So you've got to make it relatable for yourself. Is you know, we don't normally get up at two in the morning, and we don't normally have energy. However, we're excited. Where did that come from. That didn't come from food, It didn't come from any thing except we already have this passion and excitement in us and we're awake, we're ready, and we go on that trip and we go to the airport or whatever we have to do, and our body has this energy already. So the key, the key is to pay attention to your body. We don't have to be you know, it's interesting you were saying about reading and researching. That's head stuff and not that that's that's okay, except we've got to listen to what's going on here, and if it's you know, just being out in the sun. If it's like what you and I like. I love doing these talks. I get excited about them. It motivates me. Then we got to do that and follow it. If it drags us down,

28:53 it's something to look at and go maybe that's not the direction I want to go in. Does that make sense? It does? And so at what point in time did you get into meditation? I mean, you've you've now got you know, you've done a series now on meditation and as you say, the value of adding to that these frequencies that are so important, whether it's music or sounds or whatever it happens to be. But how did you get into meditation and what did you find that experience doing for you? You know, I keep cutting each time you've asked me, and it's come up a few times. Is when I was little, I was five, I'm thinking five, maybe younger.

29:39 I remember looking in the mirror and I was just you know, the cupboard is up to here that just your eyes hit the mirror, and I just remember feeling so old, like ancient old. And I think what happened for me, it's it's like being so present, so aware. So I spent a lot of time in nature with animals. That was already my meditation, and as I got older, it was my solace. So I would be I remember when i'd have these anxiety attacks, I call them that now, these panic attacks. I would run to a meadow and I would just curl up and lay in the grass, or I would lay on a beach, and just so that grounding. That that started that journey. And then I met people along the way, whether it was Bahighs or Buddhists, and so going into that awareness and practice, it kept growing.

30:54 And I don't know if that's an answer. But well, and it is. I mean, you know, for me, I think I got into meditation about three years ago and it literally changed the direction of my life. And I think for people to understand that, you know, as you really do sit back or in my case, I do walking meditation, and of course right now I'm not doing that, which really frustrates me because it's so hot outside. But the reality is is that as we clear our minds and suddenly just try to get rid of everything for whether it's ten minutes, a half an hour, an hour, whatever it is, and use that meditation type of experience, all of a sudden. I think answers come into our mind and all of a sudden, if we can recognize that and go okay, and then as you say, have the courage to try that direction and so forth. But then you've done a guided meditation. Now, and when you're doing a guide meditation, what's the purpose of that? When you're when you're using words to guide someone, what do you try to guide them to? Well?

32:08 And that works both ways. Sometimes I want words, uh huh, yeah, I know, right right, and sometimes so and thank you. That's a great question. And there's many forms of meditation, and I think it comes again to awareness. So what's the purpose? So that's a good question to ask yourself. Is so I ask myself in the morning, what is it that I need today? Do I need just to listen to music that just keeps me in my alpha mode and just let things effervescent, or sometimes I wake up and my thoughts are messy. Then I want a guided meditation because and this is where we're going into this idea of our perspective, our own thoughts, so we can step back and be the observer. And I love one description I heard was be the sky and just these clouds the thoughts and the emotions are clouds. They're just going through and so being in the sky, we can choose do I need words today? Like my mind?

33:25 You know, our brain is as a free slate in a way when we're born, and then we get all this I want to call it debried discraction. You said something earlier about our childhood, our imprints. I think, so all that stuff affects our brain and then people I actually have a YouTube out that says, you are not your brain. People think that their thoughts are them and they're not. It's all this influence that we've had, and we can step out of that and just go, whoa, look at what my brain is doing. So then it's about deciding. And so when I did my meditations, that's based on loving your life and also my experience of bringing people to a place of loving their lives. So there's a series of exercises to take the mat So that's guided.

34:29 Yeah, and you know, and I love that. You know, we talk a lot about neuropathways and how literally we are at the effect of all of those childhood experiences or early teen experiences or even adult experiences that were traumatic at least based on our perception. And yet you know, for me, I've done the guided meditation, and I love that because someone's there talking about whether it's moving towards love, moving towards whatever that happens to be. And then I also learned it because I was fascinated by the chanting that goes on in Buddhism. You know, if I visit a temple and there's the changing and I don't understand a word of what they're saying, but it's fascinating to me.

35:13 And so all of a sudden, I interviewed one fellow who was really into meditation, and he talked about how we can literally speak to ourselves in our own mind. And I actually do it verbally if I'm walking no one's around, but we start to do our own guided meditation. We have those affirmations, and those affirmations if we use those in a way that move us in an entirely different direction. I believe what we're doing is we're literally taking those neural pathways that have been controlling our lives and we're moving them to the side and developing new neural pathways that are positive. So for you, now that you're living that life of blissened so forth, because in my mind, you've those neural pathways. So that's what you experience hunt.

36:05 Of percent exactly. And you know, when I was back in that victim mode my neuropathways, I related it to a twelve lane highway to pain. So it didn't matter if good things were happening neutral, they were all going to one pathway. And so you're right. And when we're doing this, I call it brain training. I'm not the only one that says that, so it's not my term. However, we're creating these new neural pathways. It's hard. Sometimes it's like having a dull machete going through a rainforest, Like initially that path takes a little while, and it's it's just trusting that there's people that have gone before us that it's working. They're giving us these tools, and you're right, it's you know, I want my default to be positive, and I brought I brought these fun little prompts because I did a talk on Sunday. But you know, we have like here's me and then there's my world. While right now I've got these glasses on. But you know the only thing that really changes are our thinking is our perspective. Right, We've got all these fun things, and I know they're just fun, but they make a point that we can choose. Like the situation is, it's like

37:39 there's my dreams, there's my garden, here's my computer, here's me. The only difference is my perspective. So I want to choose the perspective of happiness and bliss and then and then that's going to keep revolving. I can choose a different perspective and it's maybe I didn't choose it or I had. You know, I've been surprised at some of the language in my head and I'm going new, new new, that's not your that those aren't your words. Well, as you talk about perspective and you talk about the energy that is created because of that perspective, and you talk about the frequency of energy from that perspective, what happens you end up attracting as a magnet that equal perspective and frequency. And so if it's happiness and joy and bliss, that's what you attract. If it's something else, that's what you attract. And I think, you know, for people to understand that, guess what, I am responsible for my life experiences and that's okay, you know. I mean I look back at my life and go, oh my goodness, you know, but I can accept responsibility that I'm the one that created that life, and I'm also the one that can make a change and change that to something entirely different. And I really believe that as I do that, and as people do that, and as you have done that,

39:10 all of a sudden, that energy, that frequency that you are exuding outward you received back in kind. Well, and you've lighted on something too. Were all connected. So this magnet, this energy, this flow. I don't perceive to understand it all except that there were things on habits where I've seen it. In my family when I made the change, it was within hours, sometimes a day. My son made a shift and I'm just going, WHOA, how did that happen? Or my daughter they actually feel it, So that's really fascinating to me. And you know how we think about other people, and all of us have had this. We're all so so connected. So yeah, and I agree like people, you know, people, I don't watch the news, and I find out things. If I need to, I'll research, but most of the time I don't need to.

40:20 And what I notice is that you know, people ask me, why aren't you scared? Aren't you afraid? I'm going no, why Because I have miracles and this beauty in my life and you know, soul peeps, and so I'm going to I think that I believe it from my experience. I say, I think that I believe it from my experience. Is that's more powerful. So it's working and that's what I want to keep shit.

41:01 Yes, and I love that. So as we come to a close, what would be that message that you want to share with the audience. Yes, I was thinking about it, and the message is that it's practice and all these things. The reason they're so valuable is life is going to be chaotic anyways. We're going through the universe. I think it's sixty thousand miles an hour. You know, the sun has solar flares, We've got storms. When we do this practice and we keep strengthening our core and practicing, I'm just going to keep saying that word, the repetition of practice, we have more resilience and creativity to figure out what we need to do. And prayer that I say every day is I just ask please bring me what I need to know today. To do, to say, to be for the highest good, and so it has been, so it is, so it shall be. And yeah, well no, we're gonna know.

42:17 That's great. That's great. So how do people find you? Well, they can find me. Probably the easiest right now is my website if you google my name. I know it's not an easy name, but it's got everything. It's got free resources, the books, the links, lots of youtubees, connections to blogs, connections to the audios that are basically CD baby distributed to them, and they're free. So if you have a paid Spotify or even a free Spotify, you can still access the audios, okay, and. Spell your name for them. Spell your name for the audience.

43:01 Well, it's not so tough, but it's not usual. So it's Elka with the short E, so it's e l K E. And then my last name is Shoals, so it's sc h o l z dot com. That's it and it comes up pretty easy. And I think you'll put it in the link, right You've got it? Yeah, absolutely, So what is how do people find your book? Is it on Amazon and some of those other places. Any bookseller. It's in audio, also ebook, hardcover, and on the website you'll find all the links. Though if you google the books and my name, whatever your favorite bookseller is, they'll come up. So they're they're well distributed. And oh yeah, since I've seen you, I translated two of them into German.

43:55 Wow, that was all that fantastic. Well, Olka, thanks so much. This is again. I just love our conversations. Yeah, we gotta do it. I was thinking it. I'd like to do that sooner than four years. It's just fun. Me too, me too. Anyway, thanks so much, and folks, thanks for listening. I know you got some good things out of this. I hope you'll get in touch with her at least get those books and take a look, because it's going to make a difference for those of you that are really seeking to make a change in your life. So this is doctor Douc Saye, no mistake,