Nov. 27, 2024

Upgrade Your Brain

Show Notes
Transcript

Welcome to Arnold Beekes.
Arnold has study the effects of the environment on our brains and life experiences and mentions and answers a number of interesting statements including:
“You don’t know that you are being conditioned to conform, to live someone else’s life.
You don’t know how your (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) capabilities are intentionally being suppressed.”
Just like we choose to upgrade our phone, it is time to upgrade our brain.
https://braingym.fitness

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Arnold, welcome to the show.

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Thank you very much.

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Dark Hey, it's really great to have you. I'm laughing

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because you know, people ask me who are you interviewing,

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and I say, you know, they're from all over and

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in this case, we happen to be out of the

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US on both counts. So where are you located.

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I'm currently located in Romania, but my Possport says, I'm.

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Dutch, You're Dutch, but you're in Romania. Yeah, correct, Okay,

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that sounds great. Well listen, you know what I'd love

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for you to do is to share the audience your story,

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kind of your background and what brought you to the

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point of what you're doing now, which seems to be

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so important.

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Yeh. What I'm doing now is I call myself to

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bring fitness trainer. So for me, it's very applicable. The

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quote of the Danish philosopher's strud And Girga Gard who

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says life is understood backwards, believed forwards. So I can

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give you now a nice story, but the moment I

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was living out no clue. I grew up in a

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family in the Netherlands which, in hindsight, if he would

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with today's knowledge, a lot of the members were having

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mental illness MHM in some form or another, but it

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was never diagnosed like that. So I had to deal

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with that myself. That was very challenging for I would

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say everyone. Fast forward a couple of years, but that

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was my first encounter with real mental illness. Fast forward

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I well, I went to university, I went into the

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corporate world, had leadership positions where I was responsible for

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for well. My first job was for ten marketing people,

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and at some point in time I was responsible for

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six thousand people and one point two billion dollar business,

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which showed me that if you treat people as unique

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human beings there is you can accomplish with your team

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so much and much much more than people in disipate.

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And instead of using people as mechanics, as cox in

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a machine, but as individual humans who can contribute and

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work together, you can really upgrade your brain.

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As I see it now. Then a couple of years later,

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I ended up living in Budapest in Hungary, and I

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worked a lot with well at the end, teenagers like

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seventeen eighteen up to people in the twenties beginning, And

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that was the first time that I encountered with young

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people where so many of these young people were really

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really having had experiences with mental illness. They had, well

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most of them, they already had experience with being stressed

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out or burnout. And what touched me the most, dug

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was that the everyone I spoke with is that they said,

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we know someone who killed him or herself. And this

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was nine years ago. Yeah, so that was that experience

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again with mental illness. The last eight years I took

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care of my mother and well she was the end

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of her eighties and later on, well a year and

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a half ago she died, but my mother had dimentia

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and Parkinson. So I had this experience throughout my life

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with mental illness but also with mental fitness because my

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experience is that also in my coaching. I'm coaching people

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next year for fifty years. It's my experience that basically

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any human being can be and do much more than

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what they're basically told or pulled themselves.

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Okay, And you know it's fascinating.

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As I mentioned to you before we actually came on

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the air, there's a number of things that have been

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in your bio that I'd like to read for the

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audience because I think it will really give them a

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sense of where we're going to go with this discussion,

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if that's all right with you, yes, And you know

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you talk about the art of um conditioning and it

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says you don't know that you're being conditioned to conform

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to live someone else's life.

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And I call that the impostor syndrome.

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You don't know how how your physical, mental emotional and

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spiritual capabilities are intentionally being suppressed. You don't know why,

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you're not taught how to live life. You feel stressed, powerless,

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and not good enough in a world where others are

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pulling the strings. And your brain is hijacked by parents, teachers,

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clergy bosses, media and entertainment, and your body is hijacked

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by food, fashion, pharmaceutical industry, and it goes on and on.

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So really, what you're talking about here is the fact

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that we really, many of us, really aren't able to

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actually be ourselves. We can't really be who we are,

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and we end up becoming or we end up being

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what someone else tells us we need to be, and

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ultimately we find that that creates as you have talked about,

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it can be some very emotional issues, it can be

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some mental issues. It can lead to all sorts of

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catastrophic situations, and in many cases where it's not that catastrophic,

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you still have our young people and middle aged people

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and just people in general growing up and aging and

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never experiencing life as they could.

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Your thoughts, Yes, and that is very unfortunate. That creates

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along these dis eases in people mentally, emotional, spiritual, physical

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this ease, this ease, you're uncomfortable in your skin, and

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what they say the main reason is, yeah, that's logical

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because you're not living your own life. You're living someone

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else's life.

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So what you know, you talk about mental illness, and

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you've talked about that quite a bit initially, and obviously

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I'm not.

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A side chiatrist. I know you're not a psychiatrist.

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But as we look at people who are experiencing that

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emotional issue that it's really affecting their brains to a

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high degree, what do you feel the causes of that

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are As you've researched this out over time, what do

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you feel the causes of mental illness really are?

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Well, the main cause is is that you're not living

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in your own life. You're living the life that other

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people expect you to do. So it like it's from

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the moment you're born. When are you a good kid?

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When you do exactly what your parents tell you to do?

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Then you go to school, When are you a good

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student when you do what your teacher those you do.

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Maybe you go to some kind of education or university,

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doesn't matter of the same story is when are you

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a good student? When you do what the teacher those

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you do, then most likely you do start work. Are

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you good to I pre when you do exactly what

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your boss tells you to do. So by the time

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we're twenty five, the only thing what we have learned

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is to meet expectations of other people. The only thing

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what we have learned is to live that life is

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what do they expect from me? And if I do

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that correctly, then I'm okay.

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Okay, So I want to change the wording a little bit,

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if you're okay with that, because as I have chatted

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and interviewed psychiatrists and you know, very well known psychologists,

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there certainly is a mental illness that is caused by

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biochemical disruptions in the brain, and it is something that

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absolutely exists that has nothing to do with what you're

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talking about right now. But when you're talking, what I

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kind of gather is you're really talking about emotional illness.

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You're talking about people living in an emotional state where

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they can't truly be happy, they can't be themselves. And

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to me, that that is really what you're suggesting. Am

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I Am I a little bit off the record here

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on that.

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Yeah, mental and emotional, but mental and emotional is is

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not separate from physical is not separate from it. It's

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like we are integrated being. So you have emotional problems,

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they can manifest in a physical way and the other

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way around. You are in a little pain that can

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create mental and emotional problems.

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Yes, and I and I and I have met and

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now a few people who literally have experienced mental illness

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and it is as a physiological biochemical issue. Something is

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happening within their brain that is literally causing them.

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To go that way.

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So I want to focus if it's okay with you,

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let's focus mainly on the emotional issues here about you

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know how people are being affected with emotional issues that, yes,

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ultimately it can create some mental issues. But when we

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talk about emotion, that does affect the brain, there's no

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question about that. And as we talk about that, what

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do you feel that brain fitness is? As we get

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into that, what is it to have a fit brain?

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For me? Brain fitness is a state of physical and

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psychological well being where individuals use error or his uniqueness,

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deals with the challenges in life, learns continuously and contributes

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to people and planets.

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Well. And as people are struggling emotionally to the point

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where you know it can be considered a high level

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of emotional illness, and even to the point of a

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little bit of mental illness. How how do we change

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and why is it so hard to change from that?

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In your opinion, because it is embedded in ourselves and

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in our society.

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Not to change. So I said earlier, is like we

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are most of us very conditioned until we at least

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twenty five years old. There are exceptions, but at least

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twenty five years. That is a lot of time. So

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if you want to change something which is embedded in

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yourself for twenty five years, then people are in the forties,

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forty years or people in the et cetera, et cetera.

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So that is a long lost thing habit to change

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that takes quite some work. That is the reason why

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people are not doing that, and in our society, isn't

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it strange duc that if at school and doesn't matter

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whether it's primary school, high school, university, with personal change

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is not taught.

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Yes, that is so true. In fact, in many cases,

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I know, at least in the US, they kind of

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tell you who you.

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Are oh well, yeah, yeah, which.

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Is really unfortunate. So it's you know, and I think

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as we talk about this, I think one of the

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important things for people to understand is that change can occur.

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And as we're talking about the brain, we're really talking

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about the fact that the brain can change and through neuroplasticity.

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Can you kind of explain to the audience what is

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neuroplasticity and how does it allow us to literally if

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we choose to make changes in our life and start

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to remove some of that highly emotional discomfort and start

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to be more focused on who we really are.

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Yes, that is actually opposed to what up until ninety

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eight ninety ninety eight, where people thought is like, well,

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you know a lot of people say, that's just the

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way I am. Yeah, that's just my personality, that's just

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the way I am. Yeah, And even parents and people

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whatever they thought until well, basically the two thousands is

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that they couldn't change. So it was a given the

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finding which was much earlier, but until people get get

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to notice, neuroplasticity is your capacity to rewire your brain

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to make new connections. The neurals that the rewiring is

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what we go learning, so we can we can basically

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in our brain make new connections until we're in our nineties.

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So our brain has this capacity to learn and grow

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and make new connections. And that is fantastic because it

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means that at any age we can grow and change

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if we want to.

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Well. And so as we talk about that, let's talk

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about the you know, the neural pathways within an individual's brain.

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What initially affects that, So that as we're growing up

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and we're being affected, as you say, by teachers and

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by religion and by society and by social media and

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all of those things, what happens to those brain pathways

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that cause us to ultimately act, think, and behave in

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a way that really isn't to our advantage?

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Well they well you called it pathway. Little use that word.

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Is those passways become deeper and deeper embedded in yourself.

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It's it's like I used the metaphor of like a

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groove in in a in an LP in in the

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in in a in a record. Yeah, weird red music. Yeah. Sometimes,

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Yet when when you when you always play the same song,

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the groove becomes deeper and deeper. At some point in time,

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it doesn't go over to the next song. It's stays

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stuck in that old song that happens in our brain

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in the same way.

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Ah okay, And so so when that happens, and and

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as you say, as we continue to reinforce that, and

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I think people it's important for people to understand that

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we literally have the ability to change those neuropaths ways,

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and we have potentially unconsciously and being unaware of creating

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those neural pathways based on our environment and all those

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type of things that we've talked about. So what are

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the components that you have found. How does an individual

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that recognizes, all right, I'm not where I want to be,

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I'm not experiencing life the way I want to experience it,

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how do they change those neural pathways in a way

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to start developing different habits, different attitudes, and thus different

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experiences in life.

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Yes, So the main thing is is what I say

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is that you be curious, that you're open to learning,

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that you're open to gaining those new experiences that you

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are Well, there's an old Chinese Japanese saying whereas that

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you're invited to have a beginner spirit where it's like yeah,

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you start all over again, and like hey, issue might

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do nothing or not too much it's like hey. Now

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it's like, hey, I want to learn this, I want

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to do this. Yeah. As an example, I really was

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at the beginning of my forties when my first coach

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asked me, and I can still vividly remember, and I

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was explaining I was just out of a corporate job,

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and I was explaining to a moment, yeah, what I want,

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And basically I was not saying what I want. I

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was saying what I don't want. I don't want a boss,

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I don't want this. I want to be a general

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manager or whatever. I don't want this. I don't want that.

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And then he said, oh, I understand, but can you

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please tell me what do you want? And I'm like, mm,

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I don't know. This was yeah, the only thing was

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general many things, but the rest for the other one,

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I have such a list, and he was like, Arnold,

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what do you want? I had no clue. This was

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the first time in my life that anyone had asked me, Arnold,

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what do I want?

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The other things?

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We're constantly reacting to what other people want from me,

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and since then I've applied it to many many of

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my clients same response. They're all like, I don't know,

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so all the change starts there where you say, like

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who am I? What do I want in my life,

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in my work, in my relationships, in my hobies, in everything,

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start defining those things for yourself. And that is the

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whole process, because, like I said, like I'm in my

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fourties when those first questions appear. Most people never get

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that question until they are It is not an easy

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question because for so long it's not being also and

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you're you're very used to what other people expect from you,

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what other people want from me.

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So how do you how do you sit back and

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how did you sit back with that coach working with you,

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helping you. How did you get to the point where

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you started to really understand what you wanted? Because so

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many times we have, as you say, so much of

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that peripheral environmental stuff coming in telling us what they

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want us to be and who we should be. How

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did you get to the point where you started to

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truly identify what you wanted and who you wanted to be.

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Well, that is a process. That is not a moment.

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But I really felt like, well I can really easily

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express and talk myself. I'm not a shy person, but

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I was like, no, clue. So that had a huge

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impact on me that itself. That moment which was like

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I really don't know anything to say, said I realized

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that like, oh wow, that means I gotta define it.

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They got to think about it, they got to feel

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about it, they gotta Yeah, I gotta read books or whatever.

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Things like well, we're you talking now about emotional wellbeing,

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spiritual wellbeing, all this stuff. I had no clue. I'd

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no clue. Yeah, I was really successful in the business

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corporate world, said the mental site, and let's call it

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like the other things and all of these others in

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I barely know it existed.

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All right. So you know, you talk about how it

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may be different for individual people, but for you, what

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was the process step by step if you don't mind

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sharing with the audience, what was the process step by

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step that you went through that you can share with

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the audience in order for you to finally get to

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the point where you knew what you wanted in life

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truly and who you were.

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Yeah, well, that that that that that process is driven

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by curiosity. I wanted to find out. I wanted to

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find out about these things, which what is spirituality? What

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does it do for me, how does it help me?

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So I read books, articles, I joined a spiritual organization

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where I became a teacher. So it's it's it's that process.

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But the process around all of these topics you can

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people can find it is like you can split up

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your your life. Let's let's call it in different categories.

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It's not just one big look's like, what do you

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want to do for career? What are you doing for

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your career? What do you want to do for help?

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What do you want to do for relationships? What do

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you want to do or your spirituality? Yes, what do

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you want to do for your hobbies? You see, you

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can split things up in categories. So Egypt is getting

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I started to explore. It's like, oh, yeah, I can

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define that or I can do that. I'm like, let's

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find that out. Listen to podcasts. I love listening to podcasts.

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I'm listening to podcasts ten fifteen years and yes, it's

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like this is what I do every day. You like,

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I'm like, that's how I'm learning. That's how I was like, Oh,

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this is an interesting guest. Oh he's written a book,

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Well let's buy that book. That's the whole process.

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All right. So curiosity and I and I totally agree

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with you by the way, that curiosity is the key.

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But here's the question that came to my mind. This

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is why it starts smiling. You know, we talk about

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the environment, affectiveness and telling us who we should be.

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Now we get curious and we listen to the podcasts

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we you know, we maybe hire coach, we read books

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about and as you say, there's so many elements to

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our lives, whether it's spiritual, physical, health wise, mental, all

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of those type of things. How do we ultimately or

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how did you ultimately as you started reading books and

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listening to books on audible and so forth, how did

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you decide what that was that you wanted to become

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versus them telling you just another source telling you who

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you should be.

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Well, that is why I am basically a lot of things.

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Is you get to experiment, you get to try. H

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So it like I often say to do my clients.

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Let's say that clients have an idea. It was like

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I'm on to own horse and then uh yeah, and

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I put it somewhere in the stable and then each

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day after work I can go to my horse and

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take care of it and ride on my horse with it.

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And then I asked people, I say, oh, some nights,

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it's really cool. I did, have you ever rode a horse?

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More than half people never had. I said, well, before

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you execute on that idea, Yeah, why don't you try riding? Yeah? Mh.

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By the way, I learned riding on the horses only

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when in my thirties, and it's not easy, and it

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can be frightening and whatever is it and it can

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be very uncomfortable with Like that's why I say to

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all people, just experiment and try. And it's like I

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want to be that. I want to do that, go

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and try. Yeah, that is what I did say, I said.

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One of the main thing is, yeah, I felt was

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on startups. I did some startups, most of them they

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still fail.

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Is it?

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Like? Okay, it's nice. I like that. But I continued

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with my coaching, which I started years ago, but like

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more on the personal side, which I did first new

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sports and coaching, and well that works, that's that, that's including.

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You so well.

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And in the end they're like, why am I now

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focused on brain fitness? Is basically when I had those

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experiences which I said at the beginning, those phases in

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