The Synthesis Effect - Live the Life of Your Dreams

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This program is designed to provide general
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services of competent professionals before applying or
trying any suggested ideas. At the end

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of the day, it's not about
what you have or even what you've accomplished.

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It's about what you've done with those
accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted

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up, who you've made better.
It's about what you've given back. Denzel

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Washington, welcome to inspire Vision.
Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives

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of others and to inspire you to
do the same. John, how are

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you doing. I'm great, Doctor
Doug, how are you hey, I'm

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doing wonderful. Thanks so much for
being on the show. I really appreciate

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it. Well, I'm delighted to
join you, you know. And what

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I find is it's just so fascinating
to hear how someone reached the point in

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their lives that they're doing the type
of things that you're doing now. So

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for what I'd love for you to
do is share with the audience who you

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are, your background, your education
and so forth, but also what brought

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you to this point of you know, doing what you're doing through hypnosis as

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well as writing the book. It's
a bit of a long story. I'll

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try to condense it as much as
I can. First of all, my

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name is John mcgrail. I am
the founder and president of a company called

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a Better You, Inc. And
what I do is help people get rid

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of the blocks in their life,
whatever they may be, usually quickly and

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profoundly, so they can learn to
live their life the way they want to.

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My favorite quote in the world is
from a guy named Christopher Morley who

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lived in the late eighteenth nineteenth century
you're into the twentieth century, and he

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said, there's only one success,
to be able to spend your life in

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your own way. And that's really
how I've tried to live my life.

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As far as the background, this
is certainly not my first career. I

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started in aviation, believe it or
not, military than the airlines, and

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worked on a master's degree in mass
communications, which really got me fascinated with

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radio television, film and video.
So I left Flying because I kind of

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got bored with it after fifteen years
and opened my own media production company in

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Massachusetts called to Creative Media Services.
That led me eventually to Los Angeles to

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pursue a career in acting and screenwriting, and I actually made a living and

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taught test preparation on the side.
That all led to a position as an

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executive with a production company that a
lot of your listeners may not remember the

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dot com crash of two thousand,
but there was this implosion of technology because

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of this dot com craze, and
my little company was one of the victims

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of that. So I found myself
at forty something wondering what I was going

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to do next. And the more
I thought about it, the more I

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realized that in all the jobs I'd
ever had, what I loved most was

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coaching, teaching, mentoring, and
I had always ended up as an instructor

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in aviation, in film TV,
I always ended up teaching people. So

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I did a lot of soul searching
and research, and hypnotherapy was an avenue

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that would allow me to start a
career pretty quickly rather than eight or ten

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years in classical psychology or med school
or all the other options I looked at,

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and there happened to be a school
very close to me who was taking

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students at the time. I went
up and talked to them, and I

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realized that this was something I was
really fascinated in because it just tweaked all

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my natural interests in all the things
that I had been interested for years and

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years. A year later, I
was designated a clinical hypnotherapist, and I

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have not worked a day in twenty
five years since that happened. Along the

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way, I got my PhD in
clinical hypnotherapy. And here I am,

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doctor JOHNA. Wow, Wow,
that's amazing. And then you've written this

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book called Synthesis. Well, I
actually, what's the full name of it,

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The synthesis Effect, right, the
synthesis Effect. And the subtitle is

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and this is a very clunky title, and I'll never do it again,

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your Direct Path to Personal Power and
Transformation, which really aptly describes the book.

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But it's a mouthful, and it's
hard to say synthesis. It's hard

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for me to say it. And
I can't tell you how many shows I've

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been on, or stages I've been
on doing keynotes or motivational, and it's

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really tough, but it is a
very apt title because it is about creating,

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through a variety of techniques and models
and metaphors, a more powerful you

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or a better you, which is
the name of my company. It's a

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synthesis, and so it is really
apt well, and I love that.

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You know, as I was looking
at your website, one of the things

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that you had in the content that
you were writing about is how the world

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has gotten to the point where we're
all experiencing. I can't remember the exact

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wording, but you know, I'm
thinking we're all suffering. And you know,

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as you know, I'm here in
Thailand right now, and so it's

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fascinating to study a little bit about
Buddhism and one of his main focuses is

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the fact that we all suffer.
And of course his goal is to help

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the people move from suffering to not
suffering to completely eliminating suffering, and there's

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a step by step on that.
So I found that fascinating as you were

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talking about that, because in this
world, what have you observed about that?

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Fantastic point? And I too am
a student of native and indigenous philosophies,

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and I don't like to use the
word religion because I think there's a

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difference between philosophy, doctrines, and
ethos and necessarily a religion which is more

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about ceremonies, rights and whatnot.
But the Buddha defined enlightenment as the end

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of suffering, and I love that. And what I find is that in

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modern society we are so energetically imbalanced
as a culture, in modern technology driven

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Western culture, that we are suffering. We focus on the negative side of

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life, lack contrast, fear,
and wherever we go we're bombarded with this

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information twenty four hours a day,
seven days a week. They never say,

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and I believe there should be a
law that if you turn on a

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newscasp whether it's radio, television,
streaming, it doesn't matter whoever is delivering

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the news, should be required by
law to say, listen, everybody,

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I'm here to scare the hell out
of you, because that's what they pay

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me a lot of money to do. But before we start telling you what's

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wrong with the world, let me
just remind you that most of the people

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and most of the planet right now
are perfectly fine. We don't think about

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that part. We think about what's
not going well, and it becomes sort

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of a behavioral program. We are
hypnotized to think that we should live in

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fear, anger, obesity, addiction, and that's just the nature of the

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beast, and it doesn't have to
be that way. Well, and you're

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interested, you know, you talk
about we're hypnotized, and I love that

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word, and I love the description
because you know, as I've listened to

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other people talk about this in different
ways, the reality is is that we

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have created our own film. We
have created our own movie of our life,

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and so often that creation has everything
to do with those subconscious experiences that

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we've had that we don't remember,
and yet that is what we create as

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our perception of life and then create
that movie. What what have you found

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is happening to all of us as
we experience all of this challenge that we

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hear on the news and everywhere else, to where even as we're struggling really

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hard not to quote suffer and to
have that affect us, what have you

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found that it has done to people
in general? Well, in general,

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I find that many, if not
most, of us are overstressed, physically

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ill, and there's a lot of
anxiety in the world. Ninety five percent

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of the people I see in my
clinical practice. And I've would have lit

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down these years because I'm working on
other things. I only see people or

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clients a few days a week because
I'm doing talks and whatnot. But what

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I find ninety five percent, and
this is before COVID when it all blew

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up, ninety five percent of the
people that seek my services are stressed and

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anxious and fearful. And that is
not how we're supposed to lose our lives,

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but that is the ethos that this
culture has developed. Unfortunately, and

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again I say, you know you
mentioned it. There was an interesting word

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in the lead up to that question, Doug. You said, we're struggling.

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We're not supposed to struggle. You
know, where did we come up

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with this? You know, no
pain, no gain. Life is supposed

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to be painful. And if it's
really really painful and I suffer a lot,

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maybe I'll be one of those people
who gets a statue erected in my

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honor. Where did that come from? You know, life is not supposed

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to be painful. We can learn
to live virtually, it's never perfect,

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virtually free of suffering, and that's
what the synthesis effect is all about to

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teach people to flip the coin,
if you will, you know, think

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of you know, we have contrast
and we have abundance. It's a two

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edged coin. Any time we want, if we want, we can flip

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that coin. Unfortunately, we've learned
not to even think about it. Our

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glass is always half empty. And
what I like to teach my clients and

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students is that let's talk about the
glass being full well, and so let's

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talk about the synthesis effect. What
is that exactly? Well? The effect,

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which is the title of the book, is learning just what I described,

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how to live your life virtually for
you suffering. What it requires is

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changing your mindset. Obviously, as
you so aptly mentioned, we are programmed,

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if you will, and I hate
to use that word, but at

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least from a metaphorical perspective, the
subconscious part of our mind which controls most

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of our behavior, our attitudes,
our values, our beliefs, our personality.

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That's all imprinted very early in life. Usually by the age of eight,

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we are pretty much formed. Now
it takes a few years for us

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to become the people we've been programmed
to become. But we learn all of

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these negativities, and that becomes the
adult human being, and so to change

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it you have to reprogram it.
Think of the subconscious mind. This is

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how I like to describe it,
as a three year old child that never

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grows up, doesn't really have much
sophistication, can tell good from bad,

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or happy from sad. That's all
happening at a conscious level, and that's

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very subjective. The subconscious mind is
like a little kid. Two plus two

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is five, okay, Santa Claus
is coming, okay great? Or two

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plus two is four. Oh,
that's fine too, It doesn't matter.

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And once these inputs, if you
will, our experiences become reinforced through years

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of repetition and or significance. That
becomes the database, if you will,

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that this internal three year old uses
to get itself through life. And it

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can be programmed negatively or it can
be programmed positively. And unfortunately, in

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our society we have forgotten the positive
side of life. So very often you

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see glimpses and glimmers of it.
But most of what we hear, most

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of what we read, and most
of what we then produce as our own

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reality is about negativity and what I
call lack lack black, black, black

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lack well. And you know,
it's fascinating as I've observed different situations,

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and I really do find this fascinating
that I watch people who I know fairly

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well that literally create a life that
that subconscious has programmed them to do.

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And so for those and you know, to get into just a little bit

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of the negative part of it,
I see people constantly suffering and experiencing this

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and experiencing that, and they can't
understand why and so forth, and for

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some reason, they do not understand
that they are creating the very life that

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they're experiencing, and they don't want
to take responsibility for that. You know,

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it'll be always this is what someone
did to me, or this is

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what someone else did to me,
rather than being able to take that responsibility.

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So, first of all, and
obviously as you're working with your clients,

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as they come to you, there
has to have been some degree of

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awareness that they've had that, you
know what, this is not a life

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that I want. So that's certainly
the case. Yeah, So the question

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that I'm going to have is going
a little bit deeper before that, how

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do you how would you help people
to get to the point or what would

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be the suggestions that they would look
at what are the signs that they could

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observe that would let them know that, hey, you know what, this

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is not the life that I want
and get to the point where there becomes

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a sense of awareness that there's something
they can do about it. That's an

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excellent question, and your point is
so well taken. One of the first

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things that I do with every new
client is explain exactly what you just explained

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that, whether we like it or
not. And of course, when we're

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suffering and in pain in life's not
working well, whether we like it or

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not, we are creating that reality. And I have a model that I

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call the quantum reality equation which,
in very simple, oversimplified terms, explain

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how we do that through our energetic
exchanges. And one of the first steps

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in changing well. First of all, the awareness that they're in pain is

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pretty simple. I'm not happy,
I'm not I don't have what I want.

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I mean, you know, and
it's my mother's fault, my father's

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fault, whoever. And it's really
easy to blame people. And I suppose

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when we're very little they are sort
of responsible because we are powerless. But

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I remind them that you know,
you're thirty five, you're forty, you're

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fifty, you're twenty three years old. Now you are responsible for your own

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outcomes. So the second you decide
to take that responsibility, we can get

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something done. And that's the first
step in the synthesis process. We have

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to admit and own the fact that
we create our own reality. Good,

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bad, happy, sad. We
created ourselves. Do other people help?

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Sure, they're more than happy to
help our misery. Not too many people

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are happy to see us happy,
because you know, misery loves company.

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But when we take that responsibility and
then apply these tools, we can change

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that internal programming if you will.
I know behavioral scientists hate the word computer

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when you describe the mind, but
metaphorically, it works a lot like a

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computer. Once it's programmed, it
just plays its programs. It doesn't know

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what it's doing. And once we
say, okay, I made these programs,

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whether I like it or not,
I want to change them. Now,

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we have some powerful tools to make
that happen quickly and profoundly. So

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your point is absolutely spot on.
You must take responsibility for your outcomes,

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and when you do, you can
produce incredible outcomes. Well, and you

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know, it's interesting so many times, and I'm really guilty of this.

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You know, when I do that
self introspection and I look at those things

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and it's like, Okay, I'm
going to handle this, and so on

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and so forth. But what I've
found is that one of the most important

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things, initially at least, is
to realize that you need somebody there.

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You need somebody to help you,
You need somebody to guide you. You

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need someone I don't like the word
coach, but you know that's why it

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is. But you really need someone
that's going to be there to encourage you,

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to help you, because it can
get very difficult, it can get

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very discouraging, and trying to do
it on our own sometimes is really tough.

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Trying to do it on our own
is almost impossible for most people.

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And that's one of the reasons I
wrote the book to provide so assistance.

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But the truth of the matter is, and you know, I talk about

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this all the time with my clients, with my audiences. When I'm doing

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a motivational or a keynote, I
say, look, folks, if your

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car gets banged up, do you
fix it yourself? You take it to

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a mechanic. If you have a
toothache, do you pull your own tooth?

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You go to the dentist. But
God forbid, in our society you

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have an emotional or shall I say, mental issue, You're feeling badly and

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it's in your mind. We have
this ethos in our culture that we're supposed

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to suck it up. I think
it's a leftover from the Puritan ethic,

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you know, suck it up and
get through it. God forbid I tell

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anybody that I'm having problems. The
truth of the matter is the mind is

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so powerful. If you could change
it yourself, you would, and you

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probably tried. Most people do,
and then fail. I hate the word

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fail. But you try and it
doesn't happen. You try and it doesn't

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happen. Then you get you know, and then you say, okay,

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well this is it. This is
all I've got. You do need help.

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We all need help. And when
we get that help, that's when

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things can happen so powerfully and quickly. Well, and as we look at

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as we look at the synthesis effect, I have two questions that we'll get

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into. Number one, what how
does hypnosis really fall into that? As

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people are reading the book. Is
this something that they need to go through

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hypnosis in order to accomplish? Or
as you talk about the synthesis effect,

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is it something that is they're reading
it can be really a guide to some

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degree of helping them to overcome some
of these things. How does that all

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come together? Okay, let me
see if I can answer that. First

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of all, hypnosis is not necessary, but and it is an incredibly powerful

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tool to facilitate making change quickly because
and it's simply a natural state of consciousness.

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Let's talk about that for just a
second. Everybody, every one of

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us experiences hypnosis several times every day
throughout our lives. Anytime you watch a

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good movie or a TV show,
you have an emotional response to it.

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You've been hypnotized. You are responding
to suggestion. The subconscious mind doesn't know

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the difference between reality and illusion.
So when we shift that consciousness. Daydreaming

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is another form of hypnosis. You
know, Reverie, Oh I remember that

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summer, and you create this emotional
feeling inside of you just by thinking thoughts.

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So is it necess No, does
it accelerate the process for most people?

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Absolutely, because when we allow ourselves
to go into that state of consciousness,

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and it's very similar to another state
of consciousness that is a really forbidden

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term in our culture. Meditation.
Oh boy, we don't like meditation.

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But the truth of the matter is
they go so well together. And those

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are two of the main tools in
the synthesis process. But when we give

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the mind appropriate instructions and it's open
and receptive to change, that's when the

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reprogramming. That's when the relearning,
unlearning the habits, the patterns, the

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fears, the phobias, whatever it
is, the limiting beliefs that aren't working,

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and reteaching that little three year old. What we wanted to know to

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really is for do most people need
help in that? Yes, the book

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is designed to help people do as
much on their own as they can.

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And part of it and I say
this, listen, if this isn't enough

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for you, I have a whole
appendix that guides readers to finding the appropriate

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assistance. And it doesn't have to
be me glad it is if it is.

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But listen, if this isn't working
for you, if it's not enough

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on your own, and it may
well not be, because most of us

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need more help. Here's how to
find it. Here's where to go.

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Here are the questions to ask.
I have three appendencies in the book that

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is all about helping people go further
than the book does. Okay, then,

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so I'm really smiling because as you
talk about hypnosis and meditation, you

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know, it's fascinating that there's a
lot of people out there now that are

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meditating, and as I observe here
in Thailand, obviously with Buddhism being so

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strong that it is, there are
so many people that are that really meditate.

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But I also noticed that those that
are meditating a lot sometimes there are

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still creating a life that they really
don't want to have. And so you

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know, with hypnosis, I would
I would guess that you are able to

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guide them in a very specific way
to focus on those areas that they need

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to focus on. How does an
individual that wants to be able to meditate

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and do the same similar type of
thing, how do they meditate in a

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way that actually is effective in focusing
on and eliminating some of those subconscious issues

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that are creating the life that they're
experiencing. There are so many ways to

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meditate, and all of them can
be very effective, and that's part of

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the reason I think people get so
discouraged because they try it, And okay,

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let's take a step back. First
of all, we are a society,

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due to the miracle of technology,
that wants instant fixes. We want

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instant gratification. We want what we
want, and we want it now.

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Unfortunately, when we're changing our lives
and changing the way our mind works,

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it's not instant. So the big
thing with meditation, and most people get

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discouraged by it is that they think
they're going to have some otherworldly experience.

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They don't. They try it for
a few days, maybe a week or

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two, nothing happens. That didn't
work. I'm no good at it.

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I'm no good at it. Well, you don't get good at it,

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you just do it consistently. And
I've developed I shouldn't say I've developed.

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I introduce and teach my clients a
form of meditation that I call dynamic meditation.

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And it's so very simple. I
teach my clients how to sit quietly,

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just be mindful of the moment,
because that's all we really have.

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Not worry about the past, not
worry about the future. Just let's be

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here now, close your eyes,
learn how to relax your body. Let's

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say practice. Most people aren't very
good at it. Learn how to breathe

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properly. The breath is an incredibly
powerful tool that takes a little practice.

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And then imagine what you want.
Say it's I want better job, I

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want that raise. Put yourself in
that situation and in whatever way works for

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you, visualize it, imagine it, think about it, and create the

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energy as if you're already there.
Ah, I got that job. I

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feel so good now I am doing
what I want to do. I've made

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that change, I got that raise. Oh man, that feels good.

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And sit with that energy for as
long as you can. Just be with

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it, feel it. Don't just
think about it, feel it. It's

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already happened. I call that dynamic
meditation because you are focusing an enormous amount

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of energy on what you want rather
than what you don't have. With consistent

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practice, and that's the trick.
You have to be consistent. You do

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that once or twice a day,
every day. What happens is, after

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a fairly short period of time,
you find your energy changing, you find

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you're making better choices, you find
you're actually taking the steps you needed to

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take to get what you want.
Because it's not instant and that is a

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really powerful way, and it's one
of the key parts of the synthesis process

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along with hypnotherapy. The way I
like to describe it is, hypnosis helps

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us create these changes quickly, meditation
helps us maintain them systemically over a long

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period of time. So they work
so beautifully together. They're a perfect compliment,

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you know. And what's fascinating it. You know, it sounds interesting

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that, you know, you've got
your vision board up there or whatever that

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happens to be, but what you're
talking about, literally is to create in

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your mind the vision of who you
want to be, what you want to

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accomplish, and so forth, and
then actually experience it. And what I

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find fascinating is, you know,
we hear so many stories about people who

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have done that, and literally,
you know, depending on how they want

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to experience it, either God bless
them in that way or the universe brought

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about those effects. Its interesting the
power and the energy that an individual can

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achieve to create the life that they
truly want. There are so many old

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saws that say something along the lines
of what the mind can conceive, we

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can I can't exactly come up with
it right now, but our mind controls

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our experience. Our mind is the
processor of life, and I like to

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think in one of my models is
about how this all works. We are

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nothing more than energy machines. We
don't like to think of ourselves that way,

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but we are miraculous energy processors.
Energy comes in in the form of

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experiences, the form of suggestions.
Good, bad are indifferent. Once that

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energy is inside, our brain processes
it, or the mind processes it,

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and we create thoughts. We don't
think of thoughts as energy, but they

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are. And if we think a
thought over and over and over again,

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it turns in to a very powerful
energy called belief. And once beliefs exist,

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and they're nothing more than thoughts that
we have thought so many times,

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they become ingrained and automatic and unquestioned. That's a little tricky, but once

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a belief exists, it produces our
perception operative word, their perception of truth.

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And once we believe something is true, it defines our reality. And

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as corny as this sounds, what
I use all the time because it's so

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obvious, is the fact that about
six thousand years ago, every person on

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this planet believed without doubt that the
Earth was a pizza, a flat and

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they developed or that defined a very
insular, fear based reality. They were

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afraid to go out to sea,
they were afraid to climb mountains, they

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would fall off the earth. The
monsters out there would eat them. And

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then someone said, you know,
let's take a look at this. And

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of course it didn't take very long
to mathematically prove the Earth is around.

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And of course now today we can
see it from outer space. But once

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we got the new belief, a
new truth that was based in actual fact

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and not just perception, it defined
an incredibly expansive, abundant reality. Hey,

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I can go out to see,
we can explore, we can do

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whatever we want. Yay all because
we changed our limiting beliefs, and our

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beliefs frame our perception of truth,
which defines our reality. We are creating

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it. And that is the crux
of making the changes. Once you know

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you're creating your reality. If you
don't like it, you can change it.

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Does it take help, as we've
mentioned, absolutely for most people.

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But is it doable? Also?
Absolutely? And it's amazing to me and

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one of the most satisfying parts of
this career that I've had for the last

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twenty five or so years. Is
watching people literally in a matter of weeks,

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change a lifetime of negativity, fear, limiting beliefs about themselves, low

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self esteem, confidence, you name
it. In a matter of weeks.

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They're new human beings and they're creating
that new reality. And that's why I

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do what I do. You know, it's fascinating. I've been focusing a

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little bit recently on bullying, and
I think to some degree, we all

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get bullied in one way or the
other. But what's fascinating is we talk

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about perception. You know, you
and I could be standing on this street

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and see an event and literally you
would perceive it one way and I might

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perceive it another way. Or if
someone is being unkind to us, you

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know, we can perceive that as
Okay, what did I do so forth?

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Or we can look at it from
the perspective of they have their perception,

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and based on their perception, they
are bringing about this behavior and has

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nothing to do with me. Yes, absolutely. One of the key lessons

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we have to learn what anybody else
thinks, does, or says about you

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has nothing to do with you.
That's their stuff, that's their reality.

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Who knows where that came from.
What's important is how I feel about myself.

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And another one of the key ingredients, and you're right, we all

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perceive things differently. Reality is based
on perception. None of us are seeing

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what's really going on because we have
these filters, if you will, that

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have been in our minds for years
and years and years, the product of

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the early programming. And like I
said, if you think of the subconscious

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as a computer that's three years old, all it knows how to do is

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play its realities through its perceptions.
But one of the key things is we

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have to learn, Hey, what
he said or she said is what they

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said. How I respond to it
is up to me. And so I

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try to teach my clients and students
that life doesn't necessarily have to be reacting

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the way we've been programmed to react. We can learn to respond in a

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way that's powerful for us. That's
loving, honoring, and respecting to ourselves

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and that is often the launch pad
for an incredible transform formative growth. Well,

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and you know, you talk about
you talk about synthesis effect, and

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we haven't really got into that step
by step, and I would imagine that

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would be a long conversation to get
into. But what makes that different than

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you know. I mean, we've
been talking about meditation, We've been talking

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about all of these different things.
What makes the synthesis effect different than all

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of these other methodologies that we obviously
have heard about. I'm not sure that

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anything is absolutely different, because human
beings have been behaving the way we've been

404
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behaving for centuries, millennia. What
may be different is that I set out

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to help people understand some basic facts. One, I'm responsible for my own

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outcomes. I create my own reality, and I have the power to change

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it. I tried as hard as
possible to demystify all of this stuff and

408
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:07.119
make it simple and understandable through some
very basic, simple metaphorical models. And

409
00:31:07.079 --> 00:31:11.039
contrary to what you just said,
we have talked a lot about the synthesis

410
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:15.119
process in the last half hour,
where you've hit on all the key points

411
00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:18.279
we have. We put it in
a progression. No, it's not really

412
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:19.960
linear. It's linear in the book
because it has to be, but in

413
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:25.960
real life it's three dimensional. But
I think it's the perspective that I presented

414
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:29.960
it from, and it was based
on years and years of suffering myself.

415
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:33.920
I was a really unhappy camper for
quite a long time in my life and

416
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:37.920
having gone through my own process with
help by the way, and hypnotherapy was

417
00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:41.279
a big part of that. I
learned a lot of this stuff, So

418
00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:45.519
I think it's not so much that
anything's different, it's just that I made

419
00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:49.319
it practical, I made it simple, and I did introduce sort of a

420
00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:53.200
step wise process for getting from point
A to point Z. Part of that

421
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:56.880
is realizing that you have to go
to be two C tw D D.

422
00:31:56.240 --> 00:32:00.200
You can't go from A to Z, which is what everybody wants now.

423
00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:04.279
Point doesn't work that way. But
when you learn how to do it and

424
00:32:04.319 --> 00:32:07.119
you use the tools, you can
get down that path very very quickly.

425
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:12.839
So different, no, practical and
usable, yes, apparently because it seems

426
00:32:12.839 --> 00:32:16.680
to work really really well. Any
stories about some of your clients that you

427
00:32:16.680 --> 00:32:21.960
could share without revealing names and so
forth, But any stories you could share

428
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:27.440
with the audience about how this literally
changed their lives. Oh, I have

429
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.279
more than I could possibly even think
of, and there are many in the

430
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:34.359
book. By the way. One
of the things I wanted to do when

431
00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:39.559
I wrote it and was to share
actual case studies of real people just like

432
00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:42.720
the people who are reading the book. Just like you and me. And

433
00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:47.359
I say all the time when I
do a keynote or a motivational seminar,

434
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:51.319
you know, people think, oh, doctor John, I'm no guru.

435
00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:53.640
I'm just like you. I had
my stuff, I got the help I

436
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:58.319
needed to get over it. Now
I'm sharing what I learned. But yeah,

437
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:02.200
I can think of so many.
A couple that are particularly striking.

438
00:33:02.640 --> 00:33:08.079
I had a young woman who came
to me with a phobic fear of commitment.

439
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:13.839
She just couldn't get into a committed
relationship. Consciously, she wanted to

440
00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:16.119
find a guy, get married,
have kids in his family, lived the

441
00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:20.400
American dream. But every time a
relationship got close to serius, she'd find

442
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:24.079
a way to sabotage it. And
I think it took about four or five

443
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:29.960
sessions, but she had a n
Aha moment, realized where all of this

444
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:36.559
was coming from, this irrational fear, and left with a whole different set

445
00:33:36.599 --> 00:33:42.680
of expectations about herself and what it
was all about. And within six months

446
00:33:42.680 --> 00:33:45.240
she met a really nice guy.
They ended up getting married a year later.

447
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:49.920
They now have three kids and she's
living happily. Ever after she did

448
00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:52.880
that change, she was maybe thirty
three or thirty four when she came to

449
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:57.839
see me in four weeks and now
she's living a life of her dreams.

450
00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:02.720
And I just recently worked with a
with a gentleman in his mid fifties because

451
00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:07.360
this, you know, there's no
age limit for being unhappy and not living

452
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:13.199
the life you want. This poor
gentleman had been suffering from what's called derealization,

453
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.599
which is where you're in a situation
and you don't feel like it's real

454
00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:21.480
and you're not really sure who you
are. And this did require a psychological

455
00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:25.800
referral from his therapist because it's a
diagnosed condition. But he would get into

456
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:31.639
situations, usually what we would associate
with agoraphobia of wide open spaces. He'd

457
00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:35.719
get into a big store like a
k Mart or a Walmart. Camart doesn't

458
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.159
exist anyonere a Walmart or a parking
lot. Or he'd be with people and

459
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:45.920
he'd have this feeling that he wasn't
real and you know, this is not

460
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:50.519
the brag. I think maybe three
weeks, three weekly sessions and one follow

461
00:34:50.599 --> 00:34:53.280
up session, it's gone. And
he wrote me a really nice review on

462
00:34:53.400 --> 00:35:00.280
Yelp and this psych called Thumbtack,
where I'm listed and his life is change

463
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:04.000
completely. And he lived with this
for years and years and years, and

464
00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:08.280
now it's gone. And that's the
power of the mind if it's given the

465
00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:13.000
right directions. And again I don't
take credit for this, it's a gift

466
00:35:13.039 --> 00:35:15.920
that was given to me to help
people and I'm just sharing what I know.

467
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:21.000
You know, as one of my
Native American teachers said, any healer

468
00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:24.000
at any capacity, has to remember
that all we really are, and I

469
00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:28.840
think you mentioned this earlier, are
hollow bones through which the energy of change

470
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:32.360
flows. You're getting done to it, that's exactly right, and the conduit

471
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:38.639
that's managed to tap into that energy
exactly once we understand that, realize that

472
00:35:38.800 --> 00:35:44.639
energy is something beyond each of us, that it's there to tap into if

473
00:35:44.639 --> 00:35:50.480
we choose to. That's it perfect
if we choose to. So for anybody

474
00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:53.960
out there who is suffering, and
unfortunately that's so many people and who may

475
00:35:54.000 --> 00:36:00.360
have become desperate, just understand that
you have everything within you to make the

476
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:02.559
changes you want. You can live
the life of your dreams. You can

477
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:07.239
learn to live virtually free of suffering. We all can do it. Will

478
00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:12.639
you need some help? Probably?
Is the help out there? Absolutely?

479
00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:16.199
Please, you deserve it. You
deserve to live the life of your dreams,

480
00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:22.039
go get it. So I'm curious
you live. We're in southern California.

481
00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:24.599
No, actually, I was in
southern California for many years. My

482
00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:29.679
wife and I with my mother in
law, moved back to the East Coast

483
00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:32.920
last year where we all grew up. I've now lived in southern New Hampshire,

484
00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:37.199
which is anything but southern California.
As a look at the six instages

485
00:36:37.239 --> 00:36:42.800
of snow we got yesterday, but
it was trying for us to get home.

486
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:45.920
We wanted to be close to family. I was in LA for thirty

487
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:49.800
three years and now back in New
England where I grew up. I grew

488
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:52.800
up in Connecticut. We're living in
southern Hampshire near Boston and just absolutely love

489
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:58.480
it. Okay, so here we
are using zoom and we're having an incredible

490
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.400
conversation. And I'm here Lan,
you're there in the East Coast. Yes,

491
00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:06.239
when we talk about you know a
lot of people that are doing some

492
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:10.159
type of coaching or that type of
process, they're doing it via zoom and

493
00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:15.559
so forth with hypnotherapy. And here's
the question I've always had, because you

494
00:37:15.639 --> 00:37:19.760
have a lot of hypnotherapists that are
doing it one to one. You have

495
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:24.719
hypnotherapists that are doing it via Zoom
or some other type of technology. What

496
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:29.480
has been your experience and how do
you do it? I would assume you

497
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:34.079
probably do both. But do you
find that being able to do it long

498
00:37:34.119 --> 00:37:37.920
distance via zoom or some other type
of technology works as effectively as doing it

499
00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:45.079
in person? Yes? Excuse me. First of all, before Zoom,

500
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:49.519
before we had the video technology,
we could actually do hypnotherapy on the phone,

501
00:37:50.280 --> 00:37:52.920
much more challenging, but with training
and experience, it's very doable.

502
00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:59.679
Certainly not my preferred methodology. I
used to have a mixed practice of both

503
00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:06.320
in and online. Of course,
with COVID, we were forced to perfect

504
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:08.960
us. There was no way we
couldn't get together. It wasn't allowed.

505
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:13.199
We were locked down. And you
know, COVID, in many ways,

506
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:17.039
as horrible as it was for a
lot of people, was sort of an

507
00:38:17.079 --> 00:38:22.199
epiphanous moment because we were locked down, and all the distractions that we normally

508
00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:29.920
that they or most folks go to
to repress the stuff were not available.

509
00:38:30.239 --> 00:38:32.719
So the stuff comes bubbling up.
That's the activity, whatever it is.

510
00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:38.880
And now I got to deal with
it. So it forced many people to

511
00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:42.719
say, you know what, I
need some help because this doesn't feel good.

512
00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:47.800
But yes, it's every bit as
effective remotely and quite frankly right now,

513
00:38:49.159 --> 00:38:52.559
I haven't been back in New England
very long. I have not opened

514
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:57.559
a physical office here. I close
my in LA. I'm working exclusively via

515
00:38:57.960 --> 00:39:00.679
Zoom and the other video channel so
those Zoom is the best. It's hypno

516
00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:07.360
compliant and the results are every bit
is effective. There are a very few

517
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:12.559
issues that I probably wouldn't take in
a remote session. But what's much more

518
00:39:12.599 --> 00:39:16.639
important about hypnotherapy, and I'm so
glad you brought this up is who you're

519
00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:21.920
working with. It's become very popular
and very vogue. Now you see on

520
00:39:21.960 --> 00:39:24.920
Facebook all these these incredible ads.
In three days, you can be a

521
00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:30.760
hypnotherapist, well you can. Anybody
can call themselves a hypnotherapist. It's not

522
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:34.039
a regulated profession yet. I think
at some point it will be, and

523
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:38.239
I hope that happens because there should
be some minimum requirements for training, competence,

524
00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:43.519
experience, which right now there aren't. Very few states require licensure or

525
00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:46.400
any experience. So you get a
lot of folks that may be very well

526
00:39:46.440 --> 00:39:50.760
meaning or maybe just want to make
a lot of money, because you can

527
00:39:50.880 --> 00:39:53.960
make a very nice living doing this, and they don't have very much training,

528
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:59.239
they don't have very much experience,
and unfortunately they're not any good.

529
00:40:00.119 --> 00:40:04.440
So it's not so much whether it's
remote or in person. It's who you're

530
00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:07.360
working with. And I tell everybody
that calls me, please do your due

531
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:10.960
diligence. Talk to a whole bunch
of people, find out about their training,

532
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:15.039
find out about their experience, read
the reviews on Yelp and Google and

533
00:40:15.119 --> 00:40:20.760
see what they're about. And you'll
find somebody that you feel the best about

534
00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:23.239
in here in your gut, and
that's the person you should work with.

535
00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:27.960
But if anybody makes promises like it's
magic, and they do, like God,

536
00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:30.159
I see some of these ads on
Facebook. Now you know you can

537
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:35.920
lose fifty pounds after two weeks.
No, you can lose fifty pounds after

538
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:38.000
changing your mindset, which is probably
going to take a little bit longer than

539
00:40:38.039 --> 00:40:43.599
two weeks. And and so you
know, if it seems too good to

540
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:45.960
be true, it is too good
to be true. But yes, remote

541
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:50.599
sessions work absolutely fine. I have
clients all over the world I just last

542
00:40:50.639 --> 00:40:52.119
year had a client in Thailand.
Believe it or not. The time zone

543
00:40:52.119 --> 00:40:58.119
thing was a little tricky. But
it's about the practitioner, their knowledge,

544
00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:00.400
their expertise, their training, their
competence, and their desires. You know,

545
00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:02.800
are they here to really help you? Are they here to take your

546
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:06.639
money? And unfortunately, there's a
lot of folks out there that are just

547
00:41:06.920 --> 00:41:09.360
you know, they can read a
script, it'll take in your money,

548
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:15.480
unfortunately. So all right, as
we close up here, Number one,

549
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:20.960
how do people find your book?
I Am? The book is available on

550
00:41:21.039 --> 00:41:25.519
Amazon and Barnes Andnoble dot com in
both paperback and ebook. There unfortunately isn't

551
00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:30.480
an audio version. That's a long
story, but it's available online. It's

552
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:34.119
not in bookstores anymore. I'm hoping
for a second edition and then we'll have

553
00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:37.280
another run in bookstores. But as
you probably know, books don't stay in

554
00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:39.840
bookstores very long, just because of
the nature of the beast, because there's

555
00:41:39.840 --> 00:41:44.880
so many new ones coming out.
But it is available and as far as

556
00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:47.880
finding it, it's pretty simple.
Okay, great, And how do they

557
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:52.599
find you? Thank you? I
Am easy to find. You can just

558
00:41:52.679 --> 00:41:58.440
google doctor John mcgrail hypnotherapy or better
you ink, and you'll find that I

559
00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:02.320
have a pretty big online presence after
all these years, and on my sites

560
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:07.440
Hypnotherapy Los Angeles it's still called that
because I couldn't change it after twenty years.

561
00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:13.159
You have to keep your website there
or else it disappears. Hypnotherapy los

562
00:42:13.159 --> 00:42:16.079
Angeles dot com One Big Word is
my hypnotherapy site, and for those who

563
00:42:16.159 --> 00:42:21.639
might be interested in a motivational presentation
or a keynote, Doctor John mcgrail dot

564
00:42:21.639 --> 00:42:24.719
com is my other site which covers
that part of the practice, and my

565
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:30.840
phone numbers are listed, my email
address is listed. If anybody does have

566
00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:35.159
curiosity and reaches out to me,
I promise a personal response. I don't

567
00:42:35.159 --> 00:42:38.920
have my people answer emails or phone
calls. I call back and I answer

568
00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:44.599
emails personally. But I'm easy to
find, and you know, I'm really

569
00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:46.239
proud of the work that I've done
and what I've been helped to accomplish over

570
00:42:46.280 --> 00:42:50.480
these years. So I hope people
do reach out and if nothing else,

571
00:42:50.519 --> 00:42:53.599
I can help guide them to finding
the help they need wherever they are.

572
00:42:53.679 --> 00:43:00.679
If for whatever reason, I'm not
a good fit, right And thanks you

573
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:05.559
so much for being on the show. As we close, in a minute

574
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:08.360
or less, what would be the
message you want to share with the audience.

575
00:43:12.199 --> 00:43:14.519
It's been a delight to be with
you, and I hope we do

576
00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:16.800
this again because we've just scratched the
surface. This has been fantastic, so

577
00:43:16.920 --> 00:43:23.159
much fun. In a minute or
less, Okay, take responsibility for creating

578
00:43:23.199 --> 00:43:27.239
your reality, whether you think it
is that way, whether it feels that

579
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:30.159
way or not, that's the truth. It feels like life is happening to

580
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:35.840
us, it's not. We are
creating it. Once you understand that and

581
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:42.480
take responsibility for it, I promise
you you have within you all the resources

582
00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:45.280
you need with the right assistance,
whatever that looks like, to create the

583
00:43:45.320 --> 00:43:49.559
life of your dreams, and I
encourage you to do that. Going back

584
00:43:49.559 --> 00:43:52.000
to where we start at, Christopher
Morley, there is only one success,

585
00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:55.639
to be able to spend your life
in your own way. I believe that,

586
00:43:55.880 --> 00:44:00.599
and I believe everybody has the ability
to do that if they get the

587
00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:04.599
help they need. That's it.
Amen, Amen, thank you so much,

588
00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:07.719
and folks, thanks for listening to
Hope you really enjoyed this, and

589
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:10.199
John, I look forward to having
you back on the show. Well,

590
00:44:10.239 --> 00:44:13.960
I look forward to joining you.
Doug thank you, thank you, and

591
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:16.159
folks take care, have a great
week. Look forward to having to join

592
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:16.880
us again soon