Jan. 5, 2026

Discovering Wholeness and Emotional Freedom with Matina Singh

Discovering Wholeness and Emotional Freedom with Matina Singh
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Matina Singh shares her powerful journey of transformation from living by external expectations to embracing self-awareness, emotional healing, and the Soul-Seen Method. Together, we explore how emotions shape our lives, the courage to release old patterns, and the path to authentic relationships rooted in clarity, love, and presence.www.matinasingh.com

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,

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professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services

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of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Mattina, welcome to the show.

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Oh thank you for having me, Doctor Dick. It's absolutely

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a pleasure of sharing this conversation is face with you.

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Well, I'm excited. So where are you living now?

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I am in Canada near Toronto.

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Oh really, okay, cool? Cool, I'm going international.

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Well, and I'm in time. Yeah, I'm in Thailand. So

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it's six point thirty in the morning or no, what

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is it eight forty in the morning for you, yes,

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and seven forty in the evening for me.

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Completely different time zones. You've already lived today.

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I know, I know I have.

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So I know you have an interesting story and a

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lot of what you're doing now it appears as a

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result of some of the discoveries that you made personally

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with what you've gone through. So I'd love for you

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to share with the audience kind of who you are

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and what's what's the motivation and what's the story behind Mattina.

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Singh oh wow, I love that question. Thank you for asking.

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We were telling a story because we can relate to

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stories as human beings. Okay, so for me, I remember

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this day as it was yesterday, where you're sitting in silence,

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and I was literally in the dark in my living room,

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sitting on the couch, absolutely nothing on, and the silent

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tears were rolling down my eyes. But my mind couldn't

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comprehend why that was happening. I was safe, my children

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are safe, we were happy, we were building a life

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that you wanted. I was having the peace that I desired.

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And why am I still crying? What is still that

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missing piece that my heart is craving right now. And

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so many times we have these silent moments, these whispers

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in our lives that whatever reason, we don't give the

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attention in time to But in that moment, I could

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not ignore it anymore. I needed to lean in. I

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need to understand what was inside of me that I

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had not birth it yet, that I was living someone

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else's agenda almost I'm trying to be the best mother

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and the best employee, but who am I truly? So

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that journey of me discovering who I am has led

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me to do the amazing things that I do right now.

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But it didn't come from day one to day too.

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It literally took me to understand myself, invest heavily in myself,

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and really get to a point where I'm like, wow,

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all of this was living inside of me, and I

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was breathing through every day. I was carrying that heavy

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backpack every day without realization, without even thinking that there's

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a possibility for me to put that down. So as

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I put it down, and as I have been blessed

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to help people understand their own emotion, understand their own

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ability to stand up and show up for themselves. Now

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the game has changed. Now I have chang. I'm not

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the same person I was ten years ago when I

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was sitting in that living room. I'm a completely different

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woman because I'm owning myself more, embodying a part of

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myself that I hadn't embodied at that time. It's about

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an embodiment practice that I help my clients, mostly women,

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but also sometimes men and children get to so that

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they can really live their lives on this wholeness that

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they already embody.

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What do you think is?

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I mean?

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For you, what was the cause of that?

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And for the women that you work with, what seems

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to be the major cause and reason why they're going

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through those type of experiences that they need your help.

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For me, it was divorced, and I'm going to say

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divorce is just this little tag that we have created,

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but is beyond that. It's that emotion where I personally

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was living avoid I was making sure and this is

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what I was taught as a little girl, right, make

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sure you have a good education, get a good job,

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find you a good partner, get children, get a house,

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have the cars, have the vacations. Now, oh, your magic

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box is complete. There's nothing else you could ever desire

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because you have it all, but these are all external things.

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So for me, filling all of these boxes trying to

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be this perfect person, but having this void inside of

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me was literally because I was filling it with all

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external things without any comprehension of my internal mind map.

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So the cause wasn't the divorce, but the awareness that

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came probably sounds like it was because of the divorce.

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And it's very interesting how women work.

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Okay, please explain, I'd love to know.

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When I look at my own marriage, I knew really

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early on it wasn't what I really wanted, but I

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kept doing the things. I kept putting a smile on

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my face, I kept showing up, I kept doing what

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I thought was the right thing. Not until a year

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and a half later, after me stepping out of that marriage,

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did I have enough clarity to understand that I was

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fulfilling external things, but I was leaving myself empty. As

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a woman, we're taught literally taught to make sure the

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house is in order, work is in order, children are

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in order, so we are very pushed outside of our

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own internal frame and making sure everyone else is taken

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care of. Everything else is taken care of, and then

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when you have the time, go attend to yourself. But

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what do we do as women? Then we go for

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the haircut, we go for the spoty, we go for vacation.

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We numb our mind so that we can tell ourselves

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that we have it all.

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So what's really happening, if I'm hearing you right, is

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that that we're.

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Really and we're all doing this.

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We all to some degree, are living lives that are

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expected of as that have been told we have to be.

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We're kind of impostors, aren't we. Yes, we're living as

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impostors in our life. It's interesting.

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I do a behavioral analysis, and as I was working

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to get the program that I wanted to use, one

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of the main focuses that I wanted was that because

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most most personality test, behavioral analyzes give you just one answer, right,

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And I'm looking at that and going wait, wait, wait,

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wait a minute, because I had been involved in something

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previously where we looked at what's that innate personality, what's

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the social personality what you should be, and is that

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how you're acting? And then what's your conscious one? And

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it's amazing to me that most people live in that

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social personality, they're literally living the lives that they think.

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Are expected of them, rather being than being true to themselves.

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But even that comes from this very innate need of belonging.

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And I learned this from Tony Robbins. We have two

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needs as human beings. One is a sense of safety

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and the other one is in need for belonging. Because

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we want to belong to our family, to our friends,

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to our partner, to our children. We will go to

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detriment of ourselves to make sure we have this false

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sense of belonging.

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So how on earth do we come out?

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I know you you've got the phrase soul scene method,

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and so I know you're going to get into the

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whole con concept of the soul and that inner life.

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So how does someone break away? Because quite frankly, you know,

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I think most people in their thirty forties, fifties, sixties,

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all of a sudden, you know, like you did, all

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of a sudden, have that one moment of clarity and awareness,

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and then it becomes a year's process of process of

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transformation and so forth. But how do people overcome that

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earlier so that they don't go through all of this stuff?

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What I love for what is happening right now is

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when you're all being all to listen. And listening is

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not in the sense of listen to the Prime Minister

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or the president, or this or the the other. It

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is literally listened to that silent voice inside of yourself.

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We're seeing a rise in breath work, in meditation, in yoga,

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and all of these spiritual practices that allow you to

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find the stillness within. And as I've heard on your

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podcast earlier as well, like stillness is doesn't mean or

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meditation doesn't mean we're gonna sit still, We're gonna be

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like quiet. No, finally, your thoughts gonna be like, oh, yes,

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now we at the time to make her aware or

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make him aware of all the things that we have

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been thinking. And we know by research already that eighty

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percent minimum eighty percent what our mind thinks is negative

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is fear based. That very little twenty percent that is

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positive or that could be evoking you to try something new,

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do something better, show up in at an event alone.

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There are very little people who would have the courage

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to show up at an event alone. They want to belong.

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You don't want to be that little person on the side,

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like I don't know if I can't talk with this,

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but no, so put yourself in places where you're like, think,

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I like this, right, so try it out.

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So how do people you know, it's interesting, you know

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a lot of people come up from different religions, some

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come up with no religion in their lives.

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You know, you talk.

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About that soul within, you talk about the light within.

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Some of that can be theological in nature. For others

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it's becoming more and more non theological.

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But it's just this spirit or whatever, this inside of us.

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How do people start to realize that they are living

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a life that isn't theirs? And how do they start?

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In your opinion, and how did you find that spirit

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within you, that light within you that allowed you to

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truly become.

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I've never done becoming, and that is a misconception that

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I find here so often, Like tend this event and

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you'll become and you'll be. Like being means that being

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fully present in THEMO. I tell you, doctor Duk, I've

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never been able to be as present as I have

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been in the last few years. Am I perfect? Helmo?

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There are many moments where I go stop conscious in

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my hold on this is what we sign up for,

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stop us us feeling too, and now go from it.

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The sole scene method that you lightly pushed upon is

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for me, it is really allowing the person to stop

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and reflect. When we can disconnect from our pain, from

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our stories, from our perspectives that we have believed to

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be the ultimate truth, and we allow ourselves to see

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a slightly different perspective, only then can we change. But

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this is all logical, right, The work that I do

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with my clients is not logical. It is emotional.

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So so I have a question for you, and again

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it's a personal one, so you can say no if

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you don't want to answer this. But and hey, I've

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experienced this too, so I'm the first one to say

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I've experienced this. So when you got married, you mentioned

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that you know almost from the beginning that really wasn't.

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Right, but you did it because that's what you're supposed

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to do. What is it?

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Because we have such a high divorce rate, and I

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know that people experience the same thing. For me, I

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realized that I was kind of marrying my mother and

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guess what, that's not who I should be married to.

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And we tend to put that energy out that attracts

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those people, and yet that energy that we're putting out

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is a false energy, isn't it? Because it's something that

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was embedded within us by external verses.

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So what is false? I heard this beautiful story right,

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and I'm gonna answer the personal question. I have no

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problems hearing this. I heard this beautiful story where a

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man was has his son, and his son was playing

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in the field on the farm and he broke his leg,

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and his neighbor came by and said, oh, I'm so

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sorry your son broke his leg. It's so horrible what

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happened to him, And the neighbors like, you know what,

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it just is? This is what do you mean by that? No,

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it just is. This is what it is. There's nothing wrong,

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there's nothing good. It is just what it is. And

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he lived by this mind frame. Nothing is good, nothing

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is bad. It just is.

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So.

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Then two or three weeks later, the army they were

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searching men for army, and they could not take him

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because he had broken black. The same neighbor comes by again, Oh,

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how good that your son couldn't go. He doesn't have

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to do this and all that. Again, the same answer,

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It just is, we will never know the bigger picture,

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just as I did not know my bigger pick. I

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come from an Indian family, from a sick religion, and

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I was really brought up in a very strict way.

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Even though I grew up in Europe, I was very

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brought up in a strict way, as in, meet to

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marry in a sick boy. This is going to be forever.

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This is it. There's no other option than this is it.

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And as I got to know my then husband, I

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was coming from a mind frame like, oh my god,

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this guy likes me. This is it. I've made it

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in life. This person likes me. I'm actually being seen

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and I'm allowed to be seen now. But this is it.

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I cannot think any other way. I should absolutely flow

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with this, because there's manager interesting. So that on its

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own is a very wrong perspective to come from and

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start a marriage from now. Throughout this experience of my marriage, yes,

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there was something inside of me that was telling me

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and I was numby in that voice because I was

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brought up with these Now, I believe that my soul

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chose to come into this family, into this specific religion,

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into the specific experience of life, to grow into the

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woman that I am today. So there's nothing wrong with

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him with that experience, with all of that, that hardship

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that I went through because I was meant to go

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through it so my soul could have this evolution is lifetime.

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That's what I choose to believe.

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Okay, And I love that because I believe that too.

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And you know, I think it's so interesting that as

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we as we go through those experiences, you know, so

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many people become victims because it's like, oh, this happened

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to me, This happened to me, rather than looking at

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each incident that occurs in our lives, which we could

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look at from a negative perspective and realize that, you

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know what, with a little bit of gratitude and thought,

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we could realize and maybe it takes us a few

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years to look back, but realize that you, you know what,

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because of this experience, this is who I am today.

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And for you, because of those experiences. Look at the

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difference that you're making for these women that are coming

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to you, and you could have never done that probably

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if you had not had those experiences. And I think

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that's the case for all of us, is that when

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we get to a certain point where we're really making

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a difference, and as you said, it never ends. That

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personal becoming. When I said become, I didn't mean that's

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an endpoint. It's something that we constantly do. I mean

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I meditate practically every day and part of that meditation

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is seeking to become more and more and it never

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ends because I never quite reach it, because I realized that,

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you know what, this is a journey that we go

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on and ultimately, but as you say, who we are

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becoming is a result of what family we were born into,

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where we were born, the experiences that we have, and

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if we can look at that from a standpoint of

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gratitude and insight rather than the other way around, I

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think it makes such a difference.

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It totally does. But I was not the person at

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that time. When I went through the divorce, it was

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all about why is this happening to me? What did

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I do wrong? Why is God punishing me all of

303
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those things I've said? And in that moment, this is

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why I love. When I'm helping my clients now and

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they're like, how can you not be angry at him,

306
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I'm like, and drink the poison myself every day. No,

307
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thank you. I don't agree with the father of my children,

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and that is my right. I can have a certain

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amount of feeling towards the experiences that I've had emotional abuse,

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financial like, whatever it was, and I can label it, right,

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but the label is not the solution. The label is

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just the human mind explanation of the experience. But my

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emotion was completely different. Now. Even this morning, I was

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doing this beautiful meditation where I was guided to send

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blessings to people, and I'm sharing this not out of ego.

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I'm sharing this out of insight right now with you,

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where it's like I'm I was literally sharing and sending

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love to the father of my children based on the

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part of him that feels unloved. All of us have

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part of ours in ourselves that feel unloved. So the

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sole scene means that you're, oh, you are saying yes

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to seeing those parts of yourself that are feeling unloved.

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Okay, And as we feel that, and I think you

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hit on this, as we feel that in love and

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to some degree I think it's ego, we will make

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decisions to feel loved that may not be in our

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best interest. Absolutely, how do you overcome that? Okay?

328
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So it was a time earlier this year where I

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felt fadly anxious, and that was an emotion and a

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snapshot of my life. And in my anxiety, I chose

331
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to go outside for a walk and I was searching,

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I don't want to listen to a meditation. I just

333
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want to talk and listen to something that's talking towards

334
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my anxiety right now. And I call it. I was

335
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literally searching emotional pep talk. I need an emotional pep talk,

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like I need to talk to my emotion right now,

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and I couldn't find it. And I looked up in

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anger while the tears are rolling down my eyes, and

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I looked up like, even in my misery, you giving

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me ideas, This is not fair. And it was just

341
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so perfect because it allowed me to see that as

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human beings, we are driven by our emotion, not by

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logic our emotion. So when we sit down and we

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understand that our emotions are literally an emotion that's full

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going through us, that wants and desires our attention right now.

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So if you feel worried, and there is a reason

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why you're feeling worried, but instead of sitting in that

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story of the worry, did in that vibration of the worry,

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how does the worry make me feel right? Now? Where

350
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does my body feel heavy right? What are the thoughts

351
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that are coming up that are making me go? Look, no,

352
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I don't want to hear us, don't want to feel us,

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because that awareness is the key to allowing it to

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move out of you. But what do we do as

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human beings? We suppress? We pretend, we put up a

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bright face and show up with a bike, smile and

357
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like I'm happy, I am good. Look at me now, okay?

358
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Can I also see the part of you that is vulnerable?

359
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That?

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That's why I do my own podcast as well, where

361
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I'm sharing my day to day life, where I'm sharing

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my own struggles. I am even though I will will

363
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help you move your shadows, move out and see your shadows,

364
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move out your shadows and move out with clarity. It

365
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is required for you to feel empowered in that exercise

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and that you can be like, oh, I can do

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this on my own. None of my clients will ever

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tell you that they're dependent on me. That's not how

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I work, and as I prove personally, don't believe any

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coach out there should work that way.

371
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No, it is, yeah, isn't it interesting?

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You know?

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As we talk about emotions and as you talk about frequency.

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And you know what I tell people often is, and

375
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I did this, particularly when I was working with businesses,

376
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look at your outcome right now, and tell me what

377
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it is that you really want, which is different. And

378
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once they say that, I'll go okay, So I just

379
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want you to take one step back and tell me

380
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what would have to happen, just one step back in order.

381
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For that to be achieved.

382
00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:05.079
Okay, all right, what would have to happen one step

383
00:22:05.079 --> 00:22:08.960
before that to have that last step happen? And so

384
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on and so on and so on until we get

385
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back to the point where it's the beginning, and it

386
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goes to the emotions, and it goes to the frequency.

387
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And what I find interesting is, and I don't know

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if people really understand this, that those emotions create a

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frequency that if we suppress them, it actually becomes stronger

390
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and we end up attracting the very.

391
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Things that we don't want to attract, and.

392
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Our body will do as a service by stopping us,

393
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by creating a disease. Now, this is very wrong to say.

394
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A lot of people can be like, what do you mean,

395
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I cause this listen, I'm not saying you cause it consciously,

396
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Just saying that your body loves you enough make you

397
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stop and assess what is really truly turning inside of

398
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you right now.

399
00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:03.839
Well, as you're working with people, do you find that

400
00:23:03.960 --> 00:23:06.480
most of them have had some type of moment of

401
00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:09.039
clarity like you did as you were sitting there in

402
00:23:09.079 --> 00:23:12.960
that room dark and look at most people have some

403
00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:15.440
type of moment of clarity in order for them to

404
00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:18.519
start really having the courage and the desire to do

405
00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:19.400
that in our work.

406
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And then they stop themselves because they're afraid.

407
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.880
And fear is false evidence of pairing real because what

408
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:31.160
do we know? We know what we have created in

409
00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:34.079
our lives, the way we live our lives, the family

410
00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:36.519
we have, the people we have around us, and we

411
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:41.000
are afraid that everything will fall away. Now, in reality,

412
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it will because you are changing your frequency. And as

413
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:49.400
you change your frequency, the people who are not ready

414
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to embrace that frequency will make their way out of it.

415
00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:56.000
Well, and I love how you talk about suppressing your

416
00:23:56.039 --> 00:23:59.599
emotion and you know, and there's such a.

417
00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:00.799
Variety of emotions.

418
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:04.880
I know that my children's mother passed away last week,

419
00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:09.279
and as I was talking to son number two, he

420
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:09.920
says Dad.

421
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:12.720
He says, I was just sitting.

422
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.960
Working out at the gym and I started crying, and

423
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he says, you know, it's I'm so grateful that I

424
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can not suppress my emotions but actually experience those at

425
00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:27.119
the given moment. And I said, you know what, that's

426
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a blessing that a lot of people don't have in

427
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:32.880
their lives, you know. And there's the emotion of the

428
00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:35.839
sadness and loss and so forth. But with all of

429
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:38.640
the emotions that are there, what do you find as people?

430
00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:40.880
And we'll get into meditation a little bit more, but

431
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:43.440
as people will go into that process of what we

432
00:24:43.720 --> 00:24:48.359
refer to as meditation and start to experience those emotions

433
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:52.319
coming up and recognizing that these are not the emotions

434
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:56.319
that I want to experience in my life, how do

435
00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:01.720
they ultimately allow that to come up and remove it.

436
00:25:01.160 --> 00:25:03.039
And change it into something different.

437
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.480
First of all, my condolences is grief is always a

438
00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:12.799
very heavy topic. It is something that goes beyond logic.

439
00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:15.200
We can go fine for a week and then have

440
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:19.880
a very heavy week after. I find even though even

441
00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:25.519
though I haven't experienced grief very personally close upon myself yet,

442
00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:28.279
I know I will at one point I don't haven't yet.

443
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.920
From a logical perspective, I can say the soul always

444
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:37.240
lives on, always in and around our energetic field, as

445
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:41.160
a spirit that will guide us, support us beyond the

446
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:45.480
logic of our mind. Having said that, I actually became

447
00:25:46.359 --> 00:25:49.720
an emotion called practitioner just because I want to understand

448
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:52.240
emotion more. And this is work that was created by

449
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:56.519
doctor Bradley Nelson, And in his book he actually explains

450
00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.480
step by step how you can move those emotions out

451
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:04.119
of you. And it doesn't require you to tell yourself

452
00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:07.640
the story again, it only requires you to identify what

453
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:10.680
emotions stuck in your body. If you want to know

454
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:12.880
what age you got stuck, you can ask that question

455
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:16.359
and you can move it out of yourself by yourself

456
00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:20.240
through literally a hand palm and go with from the

457
00:26:20.279 --> 00:26:23.519
top of your head all around until the bottom of

458
00:26:23.559 --> 00:26:27.960
your neck if you will back. But what happens is

459
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:30.279
wed out. I did the same. When I did the

460
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:32.920
work for the first time, I'm like, yeah, I felt something,

461
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:37.200
but it's okay, it's ever it's second time, this ancestral one,

462
00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:39.920
I felt spirits all around me, and I'm like, okay,

463
00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:45.200
I believe you. I hear you, thank you going up

464
00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:49.480
because I don't know what to do with this, and

465
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:53.559
it became my trigger, like hold on. If I am

466
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:58.279
able to do this work for my children, for my clients,

467
00:26:58.440 --> 00:27:01.839
for myself, or my family, for my friends, then I

468
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:05.920
can go beyond the logical mind. See, by the time

469
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:08.920
that episode is going to live, I will have my

470
00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:13.039
pep talks out there that will work with your logical mind,

471
00:27:13.359 --> 00:27:16.319
that will give you empowered questions that will allow you

472
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:20.079
to feel the emotion. And at the end, with the

473
00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:23.680
work and the gifts that I have received through my intuition,

474
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:26.599
I will be able to move them out of your energy.

475
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:30.400
So if you feel like, Okay, I'm having this specific emotion,

476
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:33.799
come up, look up. If that emotion pep talk is

477
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:36.599
there out there yet. If not, send me a message

478
00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:39.640
in the DM on Instagram or any other platform and

479
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:43.079
I will response. I will create that for you because

480
00:27:43.160 --> 00:27:47.880
I truly feel there's a power in sitting in that emotion.

481
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:52.200
We can all want to through meditation, through the logical

482
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:56.039
work that we do, move that emotion out. It's uncomfortable.

483
00:27:56.079 --> 00:27:57.359
I don't want to feel it, I don't want to

484
00:27:57.400 --> 00:27:57.759
see it.

485
00:27:57.880 --> 00:27:58.279
Let it go.

486
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:00.680
Let it go. Let it go. But the gift that

487
00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:03.160
emotion is coming up is has a message for you.

488
00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:06.680
So let's sit with this emotion so the message can

489
00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:10.799
come through and now from a deeper level of yourself

490
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:13.720
can let it go. The top to time, this is

491
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:14.440
a hard.

492
00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:15.480
Part, well it is.

493
00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:18.079
And you know when you were talking about these emotions

494
00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:20.599
come up and have you know, one of the one

495
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:23.920
of the sayings that I love is that was we

496
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:29.440
resist persists. And you know, if we continually fight those

497
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:32.400
emotions and keep pushing them back down because we don't

498
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:37.160
want to experience them, they continue. And and like you say,

499
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:39.799
and I love when you talk about pep talk. And

500
00:28:39.880 --> 00:28:43.000
what I find interesting is you know, for me meditation,

501
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:46.319
I'm from time to time I come up with these

502
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:50.480
affirmations I will say or pep talk and try to

503
00:28:50.519 --> 00:28:54.039
make sure that they're ones that are believable obviously, But

504
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:58.920
what I know is that literally changes your brain. It

505
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:02.359
changes your neural pathways, and you're able to literally, at

506
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:06.200
some point in time change those neural pathways of negative

507
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:10.200
emotions the positive ones. Because you're using as you refer

508
00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:12.759
to as which I think you're referring to as pep talk.

509
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:17.319
So for me, pep talk is not. The difference that

510
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:20.680
I find with pep talk and meditation is meditation is

511
00:29:20.839 --> 00:29:25.519
about dealing the mind and allowing that emotion to go out.

512
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:29.480
But what happens often is after the meditation you're good

513
00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:31.680
for a day and then you're like, oh, it's back again.

514
00:29:31.799 --> 00:29:35.440
It didn't work. That's because your mind is not believing

515
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:39.599
what you experience. To help your mind believe what you

516
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:44.200
experience is to give your mind better questions. So the

517
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:48.160
pep talk is literally about let's identify your emotion. Let's

518
00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:51.799
ask better questions to this emotion. If you feel compelled

519
00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:53.759
to journal about a journal about it. If you don't

520
00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:57.319
like journaling, record your voice, stay out loud all the thoughts,

521
00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:59.839
all the things, all the answers that you are feeling.

522
00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:03.000
Now you have given it voice, either through your hand

523
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:06.279
or through your own voice. And now that you have

524
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:11.640
created and gave yourself a gift of clarity, now we

525
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:14.240
can step into the latter part, which is actually the

526
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:16.880
medication parts, into the release.

527
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:19.359
Well, and as you talk about I am not a

528
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:22.880
good journal or I hate journaling, but what I have

529
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:25.640
discovered and I love what you just said there, you know,

530
00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:28.480
I happen to be a Mac user. So I use

531
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:31.279
Pages and I discovered on Pages, and I think this

532
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:34.680
works for Microsoft Word too, that you have a recording

533
00:30:34.759 --> 00:30:37.880
capability where it will hear your voice and it will

534
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:41.759
type up what you're saying. And therefore, not only are

535
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:44.039
you able to say it, because I used to say

536
00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:46.279
it and then I couldn't remember what I said, But

537
00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:49.799
this way saying it is a way to develop that

538
00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.599
journaling because now you have it in written form.

539
00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:56.480
Yes, and it's all today with AI. There's so many

540
00:30:56.519 --> 00:31:01.359
tools out there. I go beyond Microsoft or Apple, and

541
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:04.640
you can utilize all of these tools to help you

542
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:08.880
get into that. See. Honestly, what I would do sometimes

543
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.240
is I will just hit record on my phone and

544
00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:13.519
I will just allow all the things that want to

545
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:15.559
come out in a moment to come out. If I

546
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:18.000
feel inspired, I will go back again and listen to it,

547
00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:21.119
or I will transcribe and read through it. But the

548
00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:24.920
energy was not required for you to that, I'll go

549
00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:27.400
back to read it. Is the energy it required for

550
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:28.799
you to release it.

551
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:29.720
Okay.

552
00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:32.400
So here's the question that we talked about before we

553
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:33.680
actually started recording.

554
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:37.039
As I mentioned to you, I have some people that.

555
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:39.559
I've interviewed, and one of their main focuses on their

556
00:31:39.599 --> 00:31:45.640
podcast is working with men that are really struggling with women,

557
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:48.559
and they're in their fifties and forties, fifties and sixties.

558
00:31:50.039 --> 00:31:54.079
And as you're helping these women to really come to

559
00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:57.119
themselves and to be free, do you find that that

560
00:31:57.200 --> 00:32:02.759
affects that desire for a relationship with someone else or

561
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:05.799
do you find that all of a sudden they become

562
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:08.960
so independent with the women's movement and so forth, and

563
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.440
men have their own problems which would be interesting to

564
00:32:11.480 --> 00:32:15.079
talk about, but do you find that.

565
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.640
That's part of the challenger.

566
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:20.440
How do you help your clients to truly reach a

567
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:27.119
point of independence and self love and clarity, mindfulness, all

568
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:31.359
of that, and still want to be part of a

569
00:32:31.480 --> 00:32:36.160
relationship that can be wonderful, joyous, full of true love.

570
00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:40.400
I love this question. For men, what they've been taught

571
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:46.279
from generations ages ago is they're hunters, their providers. For

572
00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:52.240
women they're nurturers. So if a man's need is to provide,

573
00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:55.279
they need someone to provide too, And if a woman's

574
00:32:55.319 --> 00:32:58.519
need is to nurture, they need someone to nursere Now,

575
00:32:58.559 --> 00:33:00.559
what has happened with all of these moves, and of

576
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:03.880
course there are extremes always out there. They're always extremes

577
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:06.920
like no, I can do it on my own. I'm

578
00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:09.319
do it on my own, am Mind you, I've been

579
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:12.880
on myself by myself for ten years now. It's not

580
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:16.640
the lack of desire of a relationship. It is the

581
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:20.240
lack of clarity that keeps the men and the women

582
00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:23.240
away from the So a practice that I do for

583
00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:28.359
myself is I you know, this is so beautiful. There's

584
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:30.519
so many things out there that will tell you the

585
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:33.359
specific what types of men are you calling in? What

586
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:36.279
does this person look like? What is what are they doing?

587
00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:38.759
And all of those things. These are all external things.

588
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:41.599
The way that my mentor taught me is like, write

589
00:33:41.599 --> 00:33:44.160
down how you want to deal with how does this

590
00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:47.960
man or woman make you feel on a day to

591
00:33:48.039 --> 00:33:53.000
day basis, so that you know what frequency, what energy

592
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:56.160
you are calling in. When there's a disagreement, how do

593
00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:58.759
you both work through that? And when you have a

594
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:04.920
clarity in that regard, you can create a unit, a partnership,

595
00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:10.079
a companionship that goes beyond logic. The sad part now is, though,

596
00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:13.840
when we decide to go back to a relationship. We

597
00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:18.400
are unclear about what we're really truly calling in because

598
00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:20.599
you can have the perfect looking man or the perfect

599
00:34:20.599 --> 00:34:23.000
looking woman in front of you and you can still

600
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:27.440
say no because there's not this emotion that was evoked

601
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:29.480
in you that you're looking for. And I'm not calling

602
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:34.480
about talking about lust or talking about infactuation. That's different, right,

603
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:37.800
There's enough of that in the world either way. I'm

604
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:41.519
talking literally about the soul to soul connection that you think.

605
00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:42.239
I know.

606
00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:44.840
I know, I know that my man is out there

607
00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:47.960
and he knows that I'm out here. Whenever we will meet,

608
00:34:48.119 --> 00:34:52.000
because we will meet, that unit is going to create

609
00:34:52.480 --> 00:35:00.599
an experience that my children, myself himself have desired beyond logic.

610
00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:03.159
Well, and as you as you look for that man

611
00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:06.119
that's going to be supportive and as he's looking for

612
00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:07.239
that woman that's going.

613
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:08.639
To be nurturing.

614
00:35:09.559 --> 00:35:13.519
Do you find that as you're working with women oftentimes

615
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:17.239
they lose that nurturing or if you're working with men,

616
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:21.000
they tend to be patriarchal rather than supportive. And I

617
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:23.559
think there's a big difference between.

618
00:35:23.159 --> 00:35:25.639
That and totally totally yeah.

619
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:29.320
So do you find that that's that's.

620
00:35:29.159 --> 00:35:33.639
Another challenge that people have is that, you know, the

621
00:35:33.719 --> 00:35:37.000
men want that nurturing and the women want that support,

622
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:41.039
but somewhere along the line, it's not existing in who

623
00:35:41.079 --> 00:35:41.440
they are.

624
00:35:41.960 --> 00:35:45.119
For men to come to a relationship where they will

625
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:50.039
allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to really truly allow

626
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:54.559
a healthy, nurturing woman in, it requires for them to

627
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:59.000
feel good about themselves, to feel good with where they

628
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:03.679
are financial and chilly. Or a woman it requires such

629
00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:07.079
a fool good about herself and to feel good about

630
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:12.039
how someone else is making them feel. The mismatch happens

631
00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:17.119
when we go in extremes. I want a woman who's independent,

632
00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:20.320
who's also very much like taking care of the home,

633
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:22.559
taking care of this, taking care of me, taking care

634
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:24.320
of all of the things that I want her to

635
00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:28.280
take care of. That's patriarchy. Yes, a woman in her

636
00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:30.920
extreme is like, I'm going to showcase to the world

637
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:33.280
that I'm so independent. I can have kids on my own,

638
00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:35.119
I can live my life on my own, I can

639
00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:38.800
create a career for myself. Deep down inside, I desire

640
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:42.039
a man, but I can't tell myself I desire a man.

641
00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:47.800
So therefore I'm going to find quick fixes. Blings situationships

642
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:51.079
to make myself be like, oh you see, I'm still wanted,

643
00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:54.719
I'm still desired, or that's not what I'm seeking. So

644
00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:59.039
when we come from this energy of filling a gap

645
00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:05.199
in our lives that isn't already failed by yourselves, by awareness,

646
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:09.559
by love, by understanding, you're going to come from this extreme.

647
00:37:10.119 --> 00:37:13.599
A healthy relationship, in my books, is a man who

648
00:37:13.719 --> 00:37:17.719
is in his divine feminine and divine masculine. He will

649
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:22.199
always be more masculine and feminine because his desire just

650
00:37:22.239 --> 00:37:25.519
because he came and birth as a man, is to provide,

651
00:37:25.960 --> 00:37:29.679
say for a woman. Our desire is to nurture. In

652
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:33.519
my past relationships, even as a child, I always came

653
00:37:33.519 --> 00:37:35.679
to a relationship as a fixer. I will fix this,

654
00:37:36.280 --> 00:37:38.280
I will help you fix this, and I can feel

655
00:37:38.280 --> 00:37:41.840
good about myself. Well, what happens if Matina doesn't have

656
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:44.599
to fix there's a void? What do I do? Then?

657
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:47.039
Who do I be? Then? How can I add value

658
00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:48.840
to you if I don't have to fix you? Well,

659
00:37:48.920 --> 00:37:51.840
I add value by just being me. My person will

660
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:53.280
add value by just being.

661
00:37:53.159 --> 00:37:57.639
Him and having that supportive attitude and that nurturing attitude.

662
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:01.559
And it's interesting as you can get that emotional agreement

663
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:05.440
and connection going, It changes a whole relationship.

664
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:09.239
This is so beautiful because so often women be like, oh,

665
00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:11.880
I pay for my own days, right, But now you

666
00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:16.519
have robbed a man, a healthy man, from the ability

667
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:19.320
to provide. Even when you are in a relationship with

668
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.360
a person and everything is going good, you are being nurtured,

669
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:26.320
you are nurturing, you're being supportive, you're supporting, you are

670
00:38:26.440 --> 00:38:30.599
being seen, you are being providing. All of those things together,

671
00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:33.800
there is a give and take because none of us

672
00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:37.320
are going to be one hundred percent every day. And

673
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:41.599
Brenee Brown always talks about this, like when she comes

674
00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:44.000
home she talks to a progner, I'm like, I'm seventy percent.

675
00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:46.119
Oh it's okay, I'm one hundred percent today. I will

676
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:48.920
make up for the I'll make up. I'll be there.

677
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:51.039
And when they both come from an energy of okay,

678
00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:53.960
I'm four fifty to fifty or I'm forty forty, that

679
00:38:54.039 --> 00:38:57.400
doesn't equal the hundred. So what do we do now?

680
00:38:57.480 --> 00:38:59.599
We need to come to an agreement. Let's give me

681
00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:02.840
some each other's space. Let's give each other the energy

682
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:05.480
and the requirement that we have. We just want to

683
00:39:05.480 --> 00:39:11.239
be held. Yeah, that's enough to calm the nervous system

684
00:39:11.320 --> 00:39:13.639
down for a woman. When the man wants to be

685
00:39:13.719 --> 00:39:18.400
providing for a specific thing for you, just allow You

686
00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:20.119
don't have to showcase to him that you can do

687
00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:21.360
it yourself all the time.

688
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:23.039
Great, talk about.

689
00:39:22.840 --> 00:39:25.400
Something you want and it will be fulfilled by this.

690
00:39:26.480 --> 00:39:28.440
And I think that's such a great insight that you

691
00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:31.280
have on that. You know, I think if people would

692
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:34.039
listen to that alone, it would make such a difference

693
00:39:34.039 --> 00:39:34.960
in relationships.

694
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:39.159
And this requires those self awareness from both ends.

695
00:39:39.239 --> 00:39:43.639
Yes, oh absolutely, not only self awareness, but humility and

696
00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:49.280
encourage and putting that ego aside. And you know, there's

697
00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:52.239
some great books out there about ego and putting that

698
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:54.960
ego aside. And when we can do that and reach

699
00:39:55.039 --> 00:39:57.800
that point, all of a sudden things come together and

700
00:39:57.800 --> 00:40:03.679
guess what, we're out of time. Conversation though, I love

701
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:06.800
so as we finished Number one, how do people find you?

702
00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:09.800
They can find me on my website matinasing dot com

703
00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:14.599
or on any social Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and it's

704
00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:16.639
always a thing or sigmautina.

705
00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:20.159
Okay, and you said that something's coming up that you're

706
00:40:20.199 --> 00:40:21.280
working on right now.

707
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:24.199
By the time this episode will be released, it will

708
00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:26.440
be out there. I will have my pep talks for

709
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:30.159
specific emotions out there. You can get one specific emotion

710
00:40:30.599 --> 00:40:33.400
meditation med I'm saying meditation. It's not meditation, it's a

711
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:36.639
pep talk. Or you can get a bundle to really

712
00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:37.960
allow yourself to.

713
00:40:38.079 --> 00:40:42.320
Feel okay, great. And as a final message for the audience,

714
00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:43.320
what would that be.

715
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:47.880
As emotional beings, you will always, always, always be driven

716
00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:52.119
by emotion. It is about you taking time to understand

717
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:55.719
which emotion is driving you, receive the message of that emotion,

718
00:40:55.840 --> 00:40:58.519
and allow the emotion to move through you because it

719
00:40:58.559 --> 00:41:00.480
was never meant to be back in the first Please

720
00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:04.480
understand yourself, love yourself, give yourself the freedom so that

721
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:08.119
tomorrow is a grand new day and with the presence

722
00:41:08.599 --> 00:41:11.079
and clarity you can create a better tomorrow.

723
00:41:11.599 --> 00:41:14.960
Wonderful Medina, Thank you so much. This has been a

724
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:16.079
wonderful conversation.

725
00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:18.320
Thank you, Thank you for having me.

726
00:41:18.920 --> 00:41:22.039
You've met folks, thanks for listening. Hope you've enjoyed it.

727
00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:24.480
Hope you'll join us again soon. This is doctor Doug

728
00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:34.519
saying no mistay