March 17, 2026

Blind Spots, Brave Hearts — Jerry Clark on Healing Relationships

Blind Spots, Brave Hearts — Jerry Clark on Healing Relationships
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Marine veteran–turned–counselor Jerry Clark shares how shame, control, and “Mr. Perfect” nearly cost him his marriage—and how humility, honest feedback, and inversion therapy changed everything. We unpack blind spots, emotional maturity, breathwork, parenting with confidence, and his thriving veterans support group.

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Jerry, welcome to the show.

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Thank you, un well a pleasure.

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Hey, I'm excited to have you on the show. So

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where are you residing.

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Well, I live in the suburbs of Houston, halfway between

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League City, or between Gallison and Houston, in a little

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town called League City.

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Okay, so you're what about ten hours away from me?

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Yeah? I love it down here. Yeah, you know.

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I find that it's really fascinating. Everybody has a journey,

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and I'd love for you to share with the audience

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your journey, because you've done some amazing things in your

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life and somewhere along the line has brought you to

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this point that you're really working with people and trying

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to help them in relationships and so forth. Share with

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the audience briefly your story and how you got to

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this point.

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Sure be happy to you. I grew up in Westsex's

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San Angelo. As matter of fact, I was the fifth

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of six children, and we lived kind of in the

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rural areas. And early on, after graduation from from high school,

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I went to college their year and decided to join

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the Marine Corps and I spent two years in the Marines,

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thirteen months and eleven days of that in Vietnam. And

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after that I came home and about a year later

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I got married. And the tragic thing about that was

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I wanted to be the best dad and the best husband,

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but I didn't know how, and so the marriage failed.

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After about thirteen years and two years later, Conne and

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I met and we got married. Say we got married

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about two years after that, and before I knew it.

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The relationship began to go the same way as it

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was before, and although I'd been to counseling before, we

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decided that we needed to go, and going the second

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time and going for a reason to change myself because

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what I was doing wasn't working, was a miracle and

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the marriage began to heal and worked well. I worked

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thirty years in the corporate world and telecommunications as an

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engineering and construction manager and really enjoyed that work. I

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supervised almost five hundred people when I moved down here

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to League City, so it was a big job and

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I loved it. But after going to counseling, I decided that,

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you know, what is something I might want to do,

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and I looked into it. It took it would take

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a lot of years of college and other kinds of

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preparation to be licensed, and anyway, I decided to go,

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and as I went, I just got more and more enthused.

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And I graduated in nineteen ninety six and worked a

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part time in my private practice and full time in

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my job as an engineering and construction manager. And I've

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done this for the last almost the last thirty years now,

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so I really love it. I've enjoyed it. It's been

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amazing ride. And although my wife would like for me

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to retire, I old, I'm going out beat person. I

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just love what I did working with people making a difference.

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My dad didn't retire till he was eighty seven years old.

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He was a university professor, and I think he kind

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of embred that with all of his kids, life can

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get a little bit boring if you retire completely. Yes,

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and I just can't say that, right, Oh, amen to

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that so great story. You know what's fascinating to me

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is how you know some of these elements that come

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up in our lives can literally change our direction, and

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I find that fascinating. I want to talk to you

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a little bit about your counseling because you said that

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with your first marriage you also went to counseling.

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Is that correct, yes, sir, Okay.

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Tell me the difference between the first experience you had

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with counseling and the second experience you had with counseling,

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and what made the difference for the second one to

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be so successful.

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In the first experience that I had, I went with

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the attitude or who knows more about me than I know?

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And who can tell me what I need to be

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doing that I don't know already. So I was very

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resistant and probably not a very good client because I

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just knew I had all the answers and that was

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what was causing me all the trouble. And the second

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time that I went, I went with the idea that

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if I don't change, I'm going to I'm going to

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be a rip in relationships the rest of my life.

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And so it was a change of attitude and the

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story I can tell you about as we were in

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couples counseling, I did like it really made the difference.

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And we'll get into that story I in a bit.

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So the other question I have, and I've been to

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counseling too, and what I find is I've talked to

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others that oftentimes in counseling, as you go in, the

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counselor seems to lean towards one person as not as

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much a fault and the other person as more in fault.

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What's been your experience and how do you handle that

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as a counselor and what do you suggest to people

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if they go into a counseling situation and one or

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the other one gets that feeling it's.

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Such an obvious thing that happens. I love doctor Dog

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and it and it happened to me. And in fact,

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I think my words were, why aren't we talking about her?

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She's got more false than I do. And I just

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felt luck that I was being singled out as the

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as the pulprit the problem, and that made me even

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more resistent because I knew dang well that I was

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the good guy here. And that's that's one of the

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things that really changed my life, when when I realized

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that I was fighting something I didn't need to fight.

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That's what made me think about going into counseling. And

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today when I see that kind of resistance and I

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hear the same words that I spoke, why don't you

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talk to her? Why are you talking to me? Why

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don't you talk to him? And you know, I think

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I have a problem sometimes because I want so much

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for so many and when I see someone that's Jerry Clark,

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that's acting, you know, like they know it all and

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like they don't need to change, it's easy for me

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to focus on that and I admit that it's a problem,

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and I'll know them if they say something about it.

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The thing I find is the person who's talking the

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most is the one that I concentrate on. Not fully,

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but it's it I look for opportunity for change. I say,

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I don't give advice. I offer experience. If you want

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to try something that I offer, great, If you don't,

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that's okay too. But it's too easy when someone is

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just blatantly angry or blatantly in denial to want to

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focus on that person because that's where the opportun unity

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for change comes. And I, like so many counselors, I'm

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sure I get caught in that, in that trap.

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So do you find that in most cases it's just

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only one or do you find that as you really

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focus on both people and have both people won't really

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do that introspective work that that makes it different.

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No, it's it's absolutely two people. I say when a

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when a couple is having a great marriage, that's because

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both are working on it. When the marriage is going awrde,

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that means that both people are contributing to it. So

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by no means do I do I just focus on

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one person? I like, you know, having two sides of

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the equation and hearing two voices and two perspectives makes

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it rich rich for change.

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And you've written a book. Tell the audience a little

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bit about your book.

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All right, the book is blind Spots and Relationships. Well,

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I don't know. I don't know about myself. This book

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came into being because I sit in this office over

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and over again I say the same things. And the

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idea to me came to rather than say these things,

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you know, for myself to one or two people and

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maybe even a family, that the effects of some of

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these things that I have to offer made some big

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differences and relationships and in teams, and so I wanted

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to get the word out as best I could so

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more people could hear some of the things that might

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change their lives and make things easier for them.

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Well, and as you talk about relationships teams, what about

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individuals and people who had those blind spots and so forth,

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maybe not being a relationship, and yet there's still struggles.

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I can find similar similar information there for them too,

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no doubt.

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A lot of times it has to do with self talk.

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And when someone is having a lot of negative self talk,

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they tend to show up that way, which really hurts

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them in many ways, not only in relationships, but introspectively.

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When when they're down on themselves, they're they're not the

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kind of person I think they want to be.

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So what what brought about your awareness? As you said

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first first time around, not so much second time around.

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Something had to hit you mentally, emotionally, whatever it was,

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to say, you know what, I've got to really look

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at myself. What what brought about that awareness for you?

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And what do you find as you're working with clients?

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What are the elements that bring them about an awareness

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for most people that they need to.

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Work on themselves. Admitting that might be at faults was

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one thing. Admitting that what I was doing wasn't working.

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What really changed me was conding out in a couple

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and nokdo The women in that group did not like

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me at all, and they called me mister Perfect, mister

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Norton all, mister Wright. And that didn't set well with

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me at all. And the beauty of that is those

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women they really cared about me, but they were just

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honest and they didn't have any thing to lose by

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pointing out those things that I couldn't see in myself.

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And although I was angry with them at first, and

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I didn't show that I was angry I listened to them,

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but they're the ones that really made a difference in

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me because after we'd go after we had about two hour,

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group would go to dinner and they'd laugh and cut

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up with me and we would have a great time.

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And it was those women who dare to be honest

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with me. In some cases I thought they were brutally honest,

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but in a lot of cases they were honest with

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compassion and feedback is the key to be able to

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hear the feedback and not what was really the key

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for me to change. And once I realized that I

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was controlling, it made a tremendous difference in my life.

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Well, and as you say, it's the resistance part that

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is the big challenge. You can hear all of these things,

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but if you resist it, it doesn't do any good. So,

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you know, you talk about blind spots, you talk about,

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you know, other things. What are the habits, what are

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the blind spots in most people? And how do they

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come about? What's been your experience in that.

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I think we grow up with blind spots. We learned

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things in our families of origin that maybe work there

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that don't necessarily work out in the world. And so

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if I'm loud and borestreous. I might get away with

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that in my family, but I'm out push people away

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at work or in relationship. If I'm controlling and don't

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know it, our create havoc. And I think so much

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of the issue, and it was a big issue for me,

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had to do with learning how to communicate and be

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effective in communication and not be the one that was

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in charge. Would be a good listener, and that really

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changed to our laws and how I became more effective

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in relationships, but listening to understand as opposed to listen

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to answer or talk.

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So what was your experience as a child that brought

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about this habit or a blind spot, whatever you want

231
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to call it, of being controlling, of being strong willed,

232
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of not being a good communicator. What was it in

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your childhood that brought that about?

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Interesting question. Being the fifth of six kids, there was

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a lot of teasing in our family and not you know,

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it was just I don't think anybody was trying to

237
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be malicious. They were just you know, anything that I

238
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said or did wrong, I got teased about it, and

239
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I became Shane became a big part in my life.

240
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I didn't want to be teased. As a young boy,

241
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I stuttered and that really caused a lot of attention

242
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and teasing, and it made me feel insecure. Shane was

243
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a big monster for me. And the idea to me

244
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was if I was perfect, no one could spot any

245
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blemishes in me. But I worked to be perfect and

246
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not have any errors, and then I stumble and Paul

247
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and someone would say something and I'd go back and

248
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to the shame pit and then struggle over soover. Trying

249
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to get out of it again by trying to be

250
00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:48.600
perfect was an impossible task. But to learn to accept

251
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myself as I am and know that there's a lot

252
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I don't know, and know that there's a lot of

253
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blunders I have made and probably will make, and accept those.

254
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It's just an up in some of myself that I'm enough,

255
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and the people that are around me and in my

256
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life they think I'm enough too. So I don't have

257
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to put up any fault spreetense, I don't have to

258
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dress a certain way or act a certain way. I

259
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can just be me and that's enough. And that's such

260
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a peaceful experience. Now in the Marine Corps, I learned,

261
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you know, the word surrender never came up. In fact,

262
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that was a dirty word. But what I learned in

263
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relationships is I can surrender to win. When I called

264
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the people around me to win, I win. And that

265
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was a great thing for me to learn is that

266
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I didn't have to be right. So let me make

267
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you right and make you feel good about our conversation,

268
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and the closeness really began to occur.

269
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So as you look at these limiting blind spots, these

270
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imprints that you had as a child, as you work

271
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with clients, what do you find. Do you find that

272
00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:07.559
there's a greater pauseive implants from a particular situation. Whether

273
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:09.960
is it from parents? Is it from religion? Is it

274
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from society? Is it from school? Is this from friends?

275
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Is there one that stands out a little bit more?

276
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Or do you find that it's very individual and you

277
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:21.159
really can't identify which one it is until you get

278
00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:21.679
into it.

279
00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:24.639
One of the things that I've learned is we are

280
00:16:24.679 --> 00:16:29.639
all so different. We have different backgrounds, we have different parents,

281
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we have different school we have different clothes, different food.

282
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And that's what I respect is people's differences. Sometimes it's

283
00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:40.919
so easy to think that other people need to think

284
00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:43.879
the way I think, And that's just not the case,

285
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whether it's religion or schooling, or lack of religion or

286
00:16:50.120 --> 00:16:54.440
schooling it you know, I just I don't think there's

287
00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:57.320
a cookie cutter way of dealing with people at all.

288
00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:01.159
So what would you say to parents? You know, I mean,

289
00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:04.119
here's your experience with six kids in the family. I

290
00:17:04.119 --> 00:17:06.799
grew up in the same situation, only I was number two,

291
00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:10.880
so I was probably the teaser rather than the being teased.

292
00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:18.279
But what would you suggest to parents as their parenting

293
00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:21.839
Because the bottom line is this starts in childhood, and

294
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parents can have an incredible influence, either in a positive

295
00:17:25.559 --> 00:17:29.359
way or in a not so positive way, relative to

296
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those imprints that children experience. How would you help parents

297
00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:40.440
to understand the influence and power they have in literally

298
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:44.680
helping their child to avoid some of those situations and

299
00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:49.720
imprints so that ultimately, as they grow older they don't

300
00:17:49.799 --> 00:17:53.119
quite have all the challenges that some of us have experienced.

301
00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:58.039
A great question. I really think the key to being

302
00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:01.319
successful in life has to do with so confidence. And

303
00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:07.119
many times I see situations where parents are pretty autocratic

304
00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:09.839
like I was as a parent, which I totally regret,

305
00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:19.759
and finding fault is something that destroys confidence and finding

306
00:18:19.799 --> 00:18:22.880
things catching I call it catching kids doing things right

307
00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.079
is the key. Now that doesn't mean they get away

308
00:18:26.119 --> 00:18:31.400
with anything. Being being balanced, catching them doing things right

309
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:36.279
and ensuring that they take care of business that needs

310
00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:39.079
to be taken care of it. It's a real balance.

311
00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:42.599
And you know, I think emotional maturity has a lot

312
00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:46.880
to do with this, doctor Doug. If I'm in feeling

313
00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:52.359
emotionally mature, I can lead by kids. If I'm struggling financially,

314
00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:57.160
at work or within any kind of problems, it's easy

315
00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:59.400
to take it out on the children. So it's important

316
00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:02.400
for me to be calm, cool and collective when I'm

317
00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.799
dealing with children. Another thing I think is very important

318
00:19:06.039 --> 00:19:11.519
is spending time alone with each child. That really causes

319
00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:15.160
them to feel special because in a large family like

320
00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:20.319
mine and yours, it's easy to overlook some of the

321
00:19:20.440 --> 00:19:24.359
children that are not you know, problem with children. But

322
00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:29.240
I think just being focused, being genuine, being real, using

323
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:31.680
a lot of choices. You know, have a choice, you

324
00:19:31.720 --> 00:19:34.799
can do this or that, and if you don't do this,

325
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.880
this is going to happen, and hope you make a

326
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:40.759
good choice. I think choices are another thing that really

327
00:19:40.759 --> 00:19:45.839
helped young kids grow into the toure adults well, and.

328
00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.960
As you talk about emotional maturity or emotional intelligence, and

329
00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:56.079
you know, my experiences have been that emotional intelligence plays

330
00:19:56.119 --> 00:20:00.480
such a role in how you behave and how you react.

331
00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:05.039
And how do you help people to understand how important

332
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:09.079
that emotional maturity or that emotional intelligence is, and how

333
00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:12.720
do they deal with in a situation where they're in work,

334
00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:16.759
it's frustrating, whatever, and they come home to their children,

335
00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:22.440
and yet they can be enough emotionally mature that they

336
00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:25.400
can be a level of emotions that they don't allow

337
00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:30.039
the previous eight to ten hours to affect their relationship

338
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:31.359
with their children.

339
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:36.400
Or their spouse. Yeah. Yeah, I'll say it this way.

340
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:41.480
When our anxiety goes up, our intellect goes down. And

341
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:45.920
the more anxiously become, the less intellectual we are. And

342
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:50.079
it's that high anxiety that causes us problems in relationship

343
00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:53.519
because we're not I wouldn't be in control of myself

344
00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:55.640
and I would come home and want to take it

345
00:20:55.720 --> 00:20:58.279
out on safe targets. And that's the people that love me,

346
00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:01.720
which is sounds ridicul is, but that's kind of the

347
00:21:01.720 --> 00:21:05.839
way it happens. And what I have learned is I

348
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:09.119
don't have a check engine like. But what I need

349
00:21:09.240 --> 00:21:12.400
to know is when my anxiety begins to rise, I

350
00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:16.160
need to do something to increase my intellect or rure

351
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:19.799
my anxiety. The more intellectual will become, the less anxious.

352
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:24.119
And so it's a it's a real it's it's an

353
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:29.400
interesting phenomenon to me. What I have learned is sometimes

354
00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:33.200
when I'm anxious, I operate out of my reptilian brain.

355
00:21:33.319 --> 00:21:36.640
That's the fight or flight and I learned not to flee,

356
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:40.799
so I turned to fighting. And what I learned about

357
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:43.319
fighting as you win at all costs, whatever it is.

358
00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:47.559
And that's what I had to unlearn that when my

359
00:21:47.720 --> 00:21:51.119
anxiety goes up and my intellect goes down, one of

360
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:54.920
the things that I really found that's the key to change.

361
00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:58.880
It's a physiological phenomenon that when I lure my eye

362
00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:01.519
level to the person and i'm talking to, whether it's

363
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:06.359
someone at work or someone at home with someone and

364
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:11.440
the team, it triggers me to subordinate myself and rather

365
00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:15.599
being in the fight or flight mode, what happens is

366
00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.599
I begin to get back in charge of myself because

367
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:23.400
I'm not trying to win. Sometimes even in my office,

368
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.680
I ask people to sit on the floor. Someone's getting angry,

369
00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:30.000
I'll sit in the floor with them and ask them

370
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:32.319
to sit down. And the thing I wish I could

371
00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:35.839
have it recorded because it's all confidential. When they lower

372
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:38.680
their eye level to the person they're talking to, the

373
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:43.359
amplitude of the voice begins to really go down, and

374
00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:47.400
the connection of the conversation begins to get calm and

375
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:52.960
problem solving as opposed to inflictual and you raising the

376
00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:56.960
problems as opposed to solving it. I love that when

377
00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:00.400
I talk to children and I really encourage has to

378
00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:03.039
do the same thing. When you're giving instructions, if you

379
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:06.359
lower your high level, will load them. You're speaking of

380
00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:10.200
them in a totally different way. Sometimes it's said rep

381
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.480
killing rank, pick up that stuff, do this, do that

382
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:16.400
that kind of it feels good to us and we

383
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:18.599
think we're doing it right, but to them they're not.

384
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:22.359
It doesn't connect as well as when I lower my

385
00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:24.640
high level and I'll say, what do you think I

386
00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:26.880
need you to do with this? So you know, do

387
00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:29.039
you think I need you think for backpack your inn?

388
00:23:29.480 --> 00:23:32.319
You know, it gives a different kind of conversation and

389
00:23:32.519 --> 00:23:34.319
more effective well and as you.

390
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:36.720
Use the word intelligence, I think it's important for the

391
00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:40.880
audience to say, we're not talking IQ, we're talking emotional intelligence.

392
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:43.559
And I love there's a number of different types of

393
00:23:43.680 --> 00:23:47.559
charts out there that show this level of emotional intelligence

394
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:49.920
all the way from joy and peace and happiness all

395
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:52.920
the way down to victimhood and all of that, and

396
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:59.359
recognizing that anything below boredom you get you know, frustrated anger,

397
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:04.200
and it keeps going down and in order to get

398
00:24:04.279 --> 00:24:06.279
up there, you need to at least get bored and

399
00:24:06.359 --> 00:24:10.400
then beyond that start to find interest and enjoyment and

400
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:13.279
so on and so forth. So I just wanted to

401
00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:16.319
clarify that for the audience that as you're talking about intellect,

402
00:24:16.519 --> 00:24:17.960
we're talking emotional intellect.

403
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.880
Yes, sir, Yeah, good.

404
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:24.119
So how do you I'd love to hear your story

405
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:26.200
because you have a story.

406
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:26.559
You know.

407
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.720
One of the things that I'm always interested in is

408
00:24:30.359 --> 00:24:32.880
stories that you have had with clients that have made

409
00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:36.079
such a difference in their lives. But as we talked

410
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:39.200
about that, you said that your personal story is probably

411
00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:42.319
the best example. So I'd like for you now to

412
00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:46.359
share your story that really what happened, What was your

413
00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:48.920
healing and how did that occur? And you can go

414
00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:50.240
into a little more depth.

415
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:54.880
Now, Okay. I just think that it had so much

416
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:58.960
to do with shame and control, and as a boy,

417
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:02.480
we didn't have a lot, and going to school with

418
00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:05.519
kids that did have a lot, it was very difficult

419
00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:09.599
for me, and I think I aired so much and

420
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:11.720
trying to be more than I was, and it was

421
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:15.039
easy for kids to see through that, and as a result,

422
00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:19.680
they knew me better than I knew myself. And you know,

423
00:25:19.880 --> 00:25:23.880
going into the military, it was a totally different environment

424
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:28.160
and I learned a lot and I excelled in the military.

425
00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:30.680
I knew that I wanted to be a marine, and

426
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:33.279
I knew that I wanted to go to Vietnam, and

427
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:37.680
so I was I worked hard at doing that, and

428
00:25:38.279 --> 00:25:42.799
because of them, my makeup and that the thought about

429
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:46.400
being perfect, I was a spick and span marine, and

430
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:52.400
in fact I graduated as the two Honorman my patunit

431
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:57.319
of about I was seventy five guys, and I continued

432
00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:00.519
to excel in the Marine Corps and so the things

433
00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:03.599
I was doing there really worked, and getting out of there,

434
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:08.880
I was ready to start a family and be a dad,

435
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:12.720
and the hard part of that was I was so

436
00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:16.319
ill equipped because I thought, you know, being in control,

437
00:26:16.480 --> 00:26:18.440
winning at all costs was the way to do it.

438
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.640
And you know, we had two boys, beautiful boys, and

439
00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:26.599
they're about three years apart, and I treated them like

440
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:29.039
they were in boot camp, and I wanted them to

441
00:26:29.079 --> 00:26:32.119
be spicking spain and flolling. Room had to be straightened up,

442
00:26:32.200 --> 00:26:34.559
bed had to be made, even at a very young age,

443
00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:38.720
and all of that I thought was making them better people.

444
00:26:39.359 --> 00:26:42.759
But I do recall a time when I'd gone home

445
00:26:42.839 --> 00:26:46.359
for lunch and my son was about maybe four years old,

446
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:50.279
and I had gotten on to him about something and

447
00:26:50.440 --> 00:26:53.240
he was sitting in the kitchen floor, had some little

448
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:56.079
overalls on and some little red tennis shoes, and he

449
00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:59.000
was just leaning up against the wall saying, I hate him,

450
00:26:59.400 --> 00:27:02.680
I hate him. And it didn't resture on me. Then,

451
00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:06.000
Doctor Dodwar a monster I had been until later on

452
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:11.000
in my life. And when my boys became teenagers was

453
00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:15.680
when you know, the problems really existed, because again I

454
00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:18.960
was trying to be right and make them do everything

455
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:23.880
according to Hoyle, had great grades, et cetera. And it

456
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:28.640
was just too harsh. And that's when counseling made a

457
00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:32.440
total difference with me that gosh, you know, I would

458
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:35.480
ask them to go mover the yard and they would

459
00:27:35.559 --> 00:27:37.720
just do a horrible job, and I would take the

460
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:40.599
lawnmowre away from them and go, you know, finish it.

461
00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.119
And it was just that kind of action that I

462
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:47.319
was doing that it really caused me the problems. And

463
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:50.799
because I was so deep in these problems, I that's

464
00:27:50.839 --> 00:27:55.839
when counseling made a difference. And and it just it

465
00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:59.400
really resonated with me. And you know, I heard a

466
00:27:59.480 --> 00:28:01.799
voice when I was in counseling after I've been there

467
00:28:01.799 --> 00:28:04.680
about a year, it said, you know, Cherry, take care

468
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:06.599
of my people, and I'll take care of you. And

469
00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:10.480
that's when I started, you know, really feeling the call

470
00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:13.759
to going to counseling. And it took a lot. It

471
00:28:13.799 --> 00:28:15.759
took a lot away from my family to go back

472
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:19.200
to college. I had sixteen graduate hours that I needed

473
00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:24.359
to accomplish and all kinds of supervision hours, and so

474
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.519
that kind of took a little bit away from my family,

475
00:28:27.599 --> 00:28:30.279
but it also built my family because I was just

476
00:28:30.359 --> 00:28:35.759
a better person and going into counseling. This is where

477
00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:39.680
the reward has come that I say, I meet to

478
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:42.279
the need hist people in the world, and mean, people

479
00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:45.519
don't come in here unless they're dragged. But for the

480
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:49.559
most part, people come in that want something different. And

481
00:28:50.519 --> 00:28:52.559
it's not that I'm a hero of any kind. I

482
00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:55.440
can just hear things and see things that they can't

483
00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:58.039
hear and see, and being a fly on the wall

484
00:28:58.119 --> 00:29:01.960
and not being tied emotionally or through love with these people,

485
00:29:02.200 --> 00:29:05.200
I can offer them some things that make a difference.

486
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:10.599
And it's really it's really been rewarding to me. And

487
00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:14.440
about twelve years ago or thirteen years ago now, I

488
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:19.720
started a group of veterans that there were you know,

489
00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:22.759
the statistics were that they were about seventeen to twenty

490
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:25.680
two veterans taking their lives every day, and that was

491
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:29.200
horrible for me to hear because of the pride I

492
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:33.039
had in the military and the things that I felt

493
00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:38.680
about veterans. And so we again a veterans group are church.

494
00:29:39.160 --> 00:29:43.440
And when we started, no one came, very few people came,

495
00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:49.440
and we have met every Thursday evening for the last

496
00:29:49.559 --> 00:29:53.079
almost thirteen years. In December to me thirteen years there

497
00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:55.480
was a time during COVID that we had to meet

498
00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:58.079
on zoom but for the most part we meet in

499
00:29:58.160 --> 00:30:03.759
person and there it sounds it doesn't sound right, but

500
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:08.119
they are about thirty to forty veterans attend our meeting

501
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:12.200
every Thursday night, and it is the most amazing thing

502
00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:15.400
to see these veterans come together and feel comfortable because

503
00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:18.599
we understand each other as the veterans. We understand what

504
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:21.839
we've been through. Not everyone went to war, but everyone,

505
00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:25.640
you know, served and the support and love. Some people

506
00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:28.200
come to get help in that group and some people

507
00:30:28.319 --> 00:30:32.440
come to help others, and it's a confidential group. People

508
00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:35.440
talk about things that you wouldn't think they talk about

509
00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:38.319
in a group that size, But it's those kind of

510
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:43.359
rewarding things, Doctor Dougot, that counseling and change in my

511
00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:47.440
life has made for me, and that's what inspires me

512
00:30:47.799 --> 00:30:51.400
to keep going to lean forward and not look back.

513
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:54.559
I don't want to have any more regrets, and so

514
00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:57.839
I just I'm just thankful that I had the help

515
00:30:58.079 --> 00:31:01.319
and opportunity to continue to do what I do because

516
00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:03.039
it's very peaceful for me.

517
00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:06.720
Well, that's wonderful. How you know, as you talk about

518
00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:10.240
these blind spots, and they really are habits. I mean, ultimately,

519
00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:13.920
what happens is you know, we develop habits. You developed

520
00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:16.279
a habit of being controlling, as you shared, and we

521
00:31:16.359 --> 00:31:20.039
all have developed different habits like that. And how do

522
00:31:20.119 --> 00:31:23.839
you help someone what's some of the methodology that you

523
00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:27.160
use to help them break a habit that is not

524
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:31.480
serving them well and develop a habit that will serve

525
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:35.519
them and their family and their spouse and their relationships better.

526
00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:39.200
I think the first first off is to help them

527
00:31:39.319 --> 00:31:42.759
recognize what they're doing it's not working for them, and

528
00:31:43.640 --> 00:31:47.720
sometimes that's very hard because we're all we can all

529
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:51.480
be so entrenched in what we think is right, and

530
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:55.440
that's that's the first thing. And then to talk about

531
00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:58.480
things like what's going to happen if change doesn't happen,

532
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:01.759
But you know, what's the eature looked like if these

533
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:06.720
conditions continue to exist, And that again has to do

534
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:12.079
with being becoming smart, becoming wise about who you are

535
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:15.480
and how you show up. And it's it just kind

536
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:18.720
of morphs from there, depending on where they are, what

537
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:23.200
they're saying, what they believe, and how changeable they are,

538
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:26.880
how malcable they are, So it really kind of varies,

539
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:28.480
but that's sort of the way it starts.

540
00:32:29.079 --> 00:32:30.960
And then you talk about inversion therapy.

541
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:31.519
What is that?

542
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:33.720
And is that a way in which you help them

543
00:32:33.799 --> 00:32:37.680
to change for these habits and develop new habits.

544
00:32:38.119 --> 00:32:43.039
Yeah, it's doing the opposite of what our reactions have

545
00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:47.440
you tell us to do. I was talking into a

546
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:51.240
lady a week or so ago, and it had been

547
00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:54.079
about five months since she lost her husband. They've been

548
00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:57.480
married over forty years, and she lost her husband. Had

549
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:01.960
to move from where they live to here in the

550
00:33:02.039 --> 00:33:05.119
Houston area to be with her children so they could

551
00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.880
help take care of her. And as we talked, she

552
00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:15.519
kept saying, I'm lonely, sad, I'm miserable, I'm hurting. I

553
00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:18.519
don't know how I'm going to do this. And the

554
00:33:18.599 --> 00:33:20.680
more I heard her talk, the more I could see

555
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:24.000
that her self conversation was just keeping her in a rut.

556
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:27.799
And we began to talk about what if you looked

557
00:33:27.799 --> 00:33:31.240
at some of the opportunities you have. What if you said,

558
00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:33.119
you know what, I'm tired of being sad and I'm

559
00:33:33.160 --> 00:33:36.119
going to be I'm going to work on being a

560
00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:41.680
little bit more happy, finding joy somewhere, And we talked

561
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:44.079
about where could you find joy? And she had grandchildren,

562
00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:47.559
and we talked about you know what it's like to

563
00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:51.240
continue to say these things that bring her down. And

564
00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:53.200
she began to smile and she said, you know, I've

565
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:56.240
never thought about that. I'm just the normal fault is

566
00:33:56.359 --> 00:33:58.319
I'm in grief and I'm sad and I'm hurting. And

567
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:01.599
she came back about a week later it found of

568
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.400
laughing and she said, you know, it's made a lot

569
00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:08.440
of difference because I'm having a different self conversation, and

570
00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:13.400
inversion therapy to me, has the opportunity for a person

571
00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:16.440
to do something the opposite of what they would normally do.

572
00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:21.280
If if in relationships things start to heat up and

573
00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:24.559
I get mad as a reaction, what I can do

574
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:28.320
is sit down and call myself. It's just doing the

575
00:34:28.440 --> 00:34:34.480
opposite of what I normally react to with and so's

576
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:38.719
it's just turning the situation upside down to see what

577
00:34:38.880 --> 00:34:41.679
else could be done as opposed to normal reaction.

578
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:44.320
Well, and you know, one of the things I have

579
00:34:44.440 --> 00:34:47.280
found is I've interviewed so many people, is this whole

580
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:51.559
focus on as we become, as we become the person

581
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:53.880
that we really are meant to be and who we

582
00:34:54.000 --> 00:35:00.679
really are, that our behavior then represents that. And you know,

583
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:03.920
and then as you change your habits, if you're consciously

584
00:35:04.599 --> 00:35:07.400
saying good things and doing those types of things, you know,

585
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:11.840
kind of the inversion therapy. Ultimately, do you find that

586
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:16.519
if they keep doing it consciously, that ultimately it becomes

587
00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:19.360
a part of who they are, and therefore it's no

588
00:35:19.519 --> 00:35:23.280
longer a conscious decision, but it's just a natural decision

589
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:25.719
to be kind, to be loving, to be happy.

590
00:35:26.199 --> 00:35:29.639
It's that's a great point, and it would be nice

591
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:34.159
if it happened overnight, but it doesn't. It takes. It

592
00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:40.559
takes some focus and repetition. I like the small steps,

593
00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:44.840
taking small steps along the way that so that you're

594
00:35:44.920 --> 00:35:48.079
gaining ground so that you're having wins in your life

595
00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:52.119
as you as you make these shifts. And you're right,

596
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:55.239
the more that we say the good things about ourselves

597
00:35:55.320 --> 00:35:58.239
and accept the things that we mess up and but

598
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:04.199
don't dwell on those to move forward and look for

599
00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:07.480
that peaceful joy that I think we're all looking well,

600
00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:07.679
you know.

601
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:11.519
And I love the quote of be still and then

602
00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:14.440
you can follow that with whatever you want. But this

603
00:36:14.679 --> 00:36:20.039
concept of stillness and being able to stop. I know

604
00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:22.840
that you talk a little bit about the power of writing,

605
00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:26.559
and that's certainly something that I find is a very

606
00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:32.039
common thing that the counselors like and other coaches like

607
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:35.719
to use in helping someone to learn to be still

608
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:39.400
and learn to become more aware of who they are

609
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:44.199
and what they're experiencing. Meditation. There are so many things,

610
00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:47.679
which ones do you use And is it mainly writing

611
00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:50.519
or do you use a variety of things to help

612
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:54.639
people to learn that stillness, that mindfulness so that as

613
00:36:54.719 --> 00:36:58.320
those negative things come up, they're able to recognize what

614
00:36:58.440 --> 00:37:00.840
they are and let them pass. They can be more

615
00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:02.400
positive and happy in their lives.

616
00:37:02.840 --> 00:37:07.280
You know, A big factor I think is breathing breath work.

617
00:37:07.800 --> 00:37:11.079
When we focus on our breathing, we don't we can't

618
00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:14.159
think of anything else. Our breathing is so normal that

619
00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:17.159
it's like our heartbeat. We don't even we don't even

620
00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:20.360
know what's happening. But when we say I'm going to

621
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:23.599
take them, you know, breathe in one two three, all

622
00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:27.159
the breeth out one two three. When you're going through

623
00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:32.360
that mantra, you can't think of bills, or the broken

624
00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:35.039
down car, or the yard needs to be mode, or

625
00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:37.639
any kind of distraction or worries that you might have.

626
00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:41.880
And so it's very powerful, and there's so much work

627
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:45.000
done with U and breath work, and there are so

628
00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:48.800
many apps that you can use to help control your breath.

629
00:37:48.920 --> 00:37:53.440
But that really brings me to that peaceful place, because

630
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:57.559
when I get anxious about heart racing and breathing is

631
00:37:57.679 --> 00:38:00.800
shallow and rapid, and to calm that day just really

632
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:04.920
ruins me to calm stay. The other thing that you

633
00:38:05.039 --> 00:38:09.199
mentioned is writing, and I think writing our story is

634
00:38:10.039 --> 00:38:14.480
very powerful because we don't realize how things in our

635
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:18.079
past ricochet in our head and we don't ever calm

636
00:38:18.199 --> 00:38:20.840
them down. They just we jump from this to that,

637
00:38:21.239 --> 00:38:24.719
this to that, and writing our story causes us to

638
00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:28.840
really get in touch with what our thinking is and

639
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:31.480
how we react to that. One of the things that

640
00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:34.679
I found that is very beneficial is to if someone's

641
00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:37.239
had a bad childhood or a problem with someone in

642
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:41.320
their life, is to write them a letter and say

643
00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:44.639
the good, the bad, and the ugly of of what

644
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:50.360
the experience was. And I have found that, you know,

645
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:53.960
some people write a paragraph, some people write twenty pages.

646
00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:57.760
The more you write, the better this works. And then

647
00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:59.840
when they come in and they read the letter to

648
00:39:00.039 --> 00:39:04.559
this person, it is very cathartic, and it really brings

649
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:08.840
out some things and makes them kind of puts them

650
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:12.760
in concrete as opposed to making them a ricochet thought.

651
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:17.199
And then to me, the miracle question or the miracle thing.

652
00:39:17.400 --> 00:39:20.039
After they write that letter and after we go through it,

653
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:23.679
I asked them to write a letter from that person

654
00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:27.280
to them saying the things that they need to hear,

655
00:39:27.480 --> 00:39:29.559
not what they think they would say, but what do

656
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:33.440
you need to hear from this person? And that again

657
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:37.840
just really adds to the thinking about, you know, what

658
00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:40.760
they need and how life would be different if they

659
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:45.239
were hearing those things. So I find it. When I

660
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:48.559
came home from Vietnam twenty years later, I wrote a

661
00:39:48.679 --> 00:39:51.599
small book called Welcome Home, where I was trying to

662
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:56.840
find peace and myself because Welcome Home wasn't that great,

663
00:39:57.480 --> 00:40:00.519
and that book made such a difference in my life.

664
00:40:00.880 --> 00:40:03.000
It gave me the piece that I was looking for.

665
00:40:03.719 --> 00:40:06.719
And I think anyone when they began to write, they

666
00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:10.599
think of something in writing where it takes a while

667
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:14.239
to get it down. And the more time we spend

668
00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:16.679
on that, the more thoughts come back from the past

669
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.599
that are have influences us. And it's digging up those

670
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:24.119
old bones. Sometimes it really makes the difference. Well, you know,

671
00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:24.960
I smile.

672
00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:29.159
My son number two call me one day, he says, Dad,

673
00:40:29.320 --> 00:40:30.920
he says, you know what, we don't know a lot

674
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:36.239
about your life, he says, But how about he found

675
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:40.000
an app of some sort that has the children ask

676
00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:44.039
their parents questions and then ask you to kind of

677
00:40:44.119 --> 00:40:46.239
do a video on each question a little bit of

678
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:49.320
the time. And we've started that, haven't gone very far

679
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:52.800
with it. But what I find fascinating about that is

680
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:56.440
that I believe that there are actual apps out there

681
00:40:57.079 --> 00:40:59.360
that if you're trying to do this and you're not

682
00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:01.840
real good at that, you can use something that asks

683
00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:04.280
you a question, you can write it down, ask you

684
00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:06.639
another question, and I think if you get a good one,

685
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:09.599
it starts to really help you to delve, as you say,

686
00:41:09.880 --> 00:41:13.360
into that life experience and what's been going on so

687
00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:15.559
that you're able to write it down. And it makes

688
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:16.280
a big difference.

689
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:20.960
It does so much have been we are evaporates, and

690
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:25.119
it's fascinating for kids to know there's so much about

691
00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:27.800
my mom and dad that I didn't know. They had

692
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:33.280
quite a history, and it would be very fascinating to

693
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:39.000
have written down, you know, their travels, their hardships, and

694
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:41.880
I know they both had them because back in their

695
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:46.039
days they went through the depression, they went through World

696
00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:49.559
War two, which is horrible, and but to know what

697
00:41:49.719 --> 00:41:52.119
they went through would be a gold mine.

698
00:41:52.559 --> 00:41:56.119
Amen, And a lot of people find you, Jerry.

699
00:41:56.639 --> 00:42:01.840
My website is Jerry D. Clark Jersey Clark dot com.

700
00:42:02.519 --> 00:42:09.320
And on the website it has the social media Instagram LinkedIn.

701
00:42:11.239 --> 00:42:16.079
Let's see, YouTube and Facebook are all free there, so

702
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:19.320
anyone can get in touch with me in any of

703
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:22.519
those social medias by going to my Facebook, my web

704
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:24.480
page Jerdy Clark dot com.

705
00:42:25.039 --> 00:42:27.760
Okay, And how do they find your book? Find spots.

706
00:42:28.239 --> 00:42:33.039
That's in all the major bookstores and it's also on Amazon. Great. Great.

707
00:42:33.159 --> 00:42:36.440
So as we close, Jerry, what would be a final

708
00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:38.519
message that you'd like to share with the audience.

709
00:42:39.679 --> 00:42:43.119
I like the idea that life is beautiful and it

710
00:42:43.239 --> 00:42:47.199
can be beautiful, and sometimes we produce a lot of

711
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:52.440
wreckuge that we're totally aware. The magic of that, to

712
00:42:52.599 --> 00:42:57.320
me is feedback and to be able to hear feedback

713
00:42:57.800 --> 00:43:00.800
and make the kind of changes that cause people to

714
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:05.440
gravitate towards you as opposed it to be repelled. We

715
00:43:05.559 --> 00:43:09.360
all know so many instances where that happens, where people

716
00:43:09.760 --> 00:43:13.719
just don't connect with others and it's hard for them

717
00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:16.360
to hear feedback. For me to hear anything negative about

718
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:21.119
myself was awful, But now I'll welcome feedback whatever anyone

719
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:24.760
can tell me. And I don't adhere to everything someone

720
00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:26.880
says that I need to make a change, but if

721
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:29.320
there's any kind of pattern, by all means, I want

722
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.679
to look at that and see what I can do

723
00:43:31.880 --> 00:43:34.719
to call it build a better mea so I can

724
00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:36.000
have a better life.

725
00:43:36.679 --> 00:43:39.400
That's wonderful. Jerry, thank you so much for being on

726
00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:42.480
the show. This has been wonderful. And what I love

727
00:43:42.840 --> 00:43:46.000
is the fact that I just love people that are

728
00:43:46.119 --> 00:43:49.559
making a difference in other people's lives. And they do

729
00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:52.880
that in different ways, but here you made a major

730
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:55.880
change in your life and are now helping people in

731
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:59.000
such a wonderful way. So kudos to you for that.

732
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:01.679
Thank you so much, doctor Doug, and I appreciate what

733
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.320
you're doing. So it's the same thing.

734
00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:06.800
Well, I appreciate that. Folks, thanks for listening, and I

735
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:09.199
hope you've enjoyed it and look forward to having you

736
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:13.039
join again soon. This is a doctor Doug saying now mistay,