Harnessing Courage: Laura Bratton’s Journey Through Loss and Triumph

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0:44 Thanzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Laura, welcome to the show. Thank you, Thank you for the opportunity. You know I'm really excited about is because as I've watched your ten X talk, as I've kind of observed what's going on here, it fascinates me how many of us, if not all of us, at some point in time in our lives, face difficulties, and for some it's a little bit. For others it's major, and that was in your case major. And yet the response that we have to those difficulties is so varied, and it can either affect our lives in a negative way or it can affect our lives in a positive way. And I'd love for you to share your story with the audience and help them to understand what happened to you, and then we will get into the whole rest of the process.

1:44 Yes, so it all started my first very vivid memory that I still can see in my mind's eye and just feel the emotion. I was a nine year old. I was in between second grade and third grade. It was during the summer, and I was sitting in the ophthalmology office in the examining room. I'd read the big e you know, all the letters that you're just read. My eyes were dilated, and I just assumed this is a normal yearly appointment. And what I can remember why I remember that appointment so clearly, is I was I was sitting in that chair. The doctor just rolled back kind of away from me, and he just looked over at my mom and he said, she has a major problem going on in her retinas, and it's not something that I'm qualified to address. I'm going to refer you to a retina specialist, and we've got to figure out what's going on. And I remember my mom's immediate reaction, it was, Okay, you didn't really start a new school year.

2:52 I'm a teacher. She's already start third grade. We'll take good of that. Sometime during the father Christmas break and I just memory and pausing and then looking back at her and saying, no, you don't understand. This is a major problem. You're not going to lunch today. I want you to leave here and go straight to his office and he will be waiting for you. So that started a whole summer of doctor's appointments, blood drawn lab work, my bloods literally over the world, just trying to diagnose and figure out why is this healthy nine year old all of a sudden losing her vision. So that's the first memory I have of being aware in my mind something was going on. As a nine year old. Clearly, I couldn't process cognitively the magnitude of what the doctor was saying or how that would eventually affect me from then on when it did become real, when I did realize the severity and the difficulty of the incredible change was at the end of middle school. So between being nine and being fourteen, life was pretty normal. I had small accommodations as far as using some large print, but nothing major. So it's just again in my life. In my world, it was what it was I could see, and so it's just kind of okay, So only be

4:23 my my normal, my reality. So then by the end of middle school, one day, I'm sitting in geography class and it was just your typical day as it always been, and the teacher said, all right, I'm going to put notes up on the board. I want everyone to write down the notes. And so I got out my notebook, got out of my pen, looked up at the board, and all I could see were these black blobs. It sort of looked like black shadows, just like black marks. There was no it wasn't any defined letters. So I looked at down on my notebook, I looked back up of the board, and still all I saw were those black blobs, those black kind of markings. So I looked at my neighbor the left and the right, and they're both writing down all these words. So in my mind, I thought, oh, well, maybe there's writing down the note the words they know we're studying, because that's not print up on the board. Then I leaned over to my neighbor and I said, how are you copping down the notes on the board. There's no print up there, there's nothing to write down, And without missing a beach, she leaned over to me and she said, Laura, the print is completely normal. What do you mean they're not letters up there. That's the that's our notes that were copping down like it's always I've dropped up in just sat back in my chair. And that's when that diagnosis as

5:54 a nine year old became real and I realized the magnitude and difficulty that I was literally facing. In that moment, I just lost a significant amount of sight and from that point forward everything would have to be adapted, changed accommodations as I currently knew. Life in those up to those teenage years was completely changing. So that's the two memories that were most impactful. As I started to lose a significant amount of site. Wow, wow, and you know that that fascinates me, And what a traumatic experience. Even though you know you were going on and thinking, okay, I'm you know, still in middle school. Everything's fine, and suddenly there it is. So you know, as a young person in middle school, what what was your mindset and what was the initial experience you were having emotionally and intellectually and so forth.

6:58 So my initial mindset, or my initial mindset and emotion was complete denial. Oh this is not that bad. Oh this is not gonna last that long. I'll just wake up tomorrow and have perfect twenty twenty site. It just won't. It won't be permanent. And I was trying to convince myself it wasn't going to last long. It was just a quick event that would last a couple of weeks and then I just move on with my life. So my first response was denial. Once that denial wore off and didn't last that long, the mindset was the mantra was I can't, I can't. I can't. I tried it, I prayed it, I said it. My belief was I don't have the strength as a teenager to make this huge adaptation and experience this traumatic change. I can't. So that mindset of I can't led to extreme depression, extreme anxiety, just constant panic attacks.

8:08 And at what point in time I mean, how long did that last? And what was there a moment or was there just a gradual situation where you were able to slowly move out of that and how long did that take? Yes? And yes, So that did last for a while. So as I started high school and went through high school, I continue to lose a significant amount of the sight. So over that four year period, I pretty much ended high school with what I have now just light perception. So as I continued to experience measure vision walls again, it was that whole mindset of I can't. I don't have the strength to get through this. This is just too much, is just too hard. So it wasn't one moment where I just woke up and said okay, I can Okay, now I have to drink. There wasn't one major event that changed that mindset. It was a series and as you said, just a gradual change. What created that change, what empowered that change is the support around me.

9:18 So what I mean by that, the whole time I'm saying and thinking I can't, this is too hard, I just don't have the strength. I just want to be a normal high schooler, a normal girl. My parents were treating me completely normal, while making the accommodations that I needed. Their standard for me as their daughter didn't change. They didn't start bidding me, They didn't start treating me less than or different from. I have one older brother. They didn't start treating me as like him one way and me another. He continued to treat me as his little younger sister, the normal little sibling rivalries and fights and arguments that didn't change. We still fought over the front seat and the normal like sibling stuff. The teachers around me, they just made the accommodations that needed to be made at school while still grading me the same way as all the other students. They didn't just give me an egg in all my classes because I couldn't see anymore. So, having that constant support around me, everyone around me was continuing to treat me as an equal human. I just couldn't see as well. So while I'm saying I can't, I can't, I can't, I don't have this drength, everyone else around me is not responding that way. So slowly, over time I started to change that mindset and think, humph,

10:51 all right, so if they are treating me as a human with purpose, it is worthy that matters. That's an Maybe I can believe that way, maybe I could live that way. So those panic attacks that would last all day would decrease started to slowly decrease, and that anxiety got a little bit less. I got through one hour, and then I got through three hours, and then I got through a full day. So that's what I mean about it is a gradual process where I realized that I could continue forward because of the foundation that was around me telling me not through their words, but through their literal actions, you are so you and we're just going to move forward. My parents, would we just say again, not to their words every day, but just to their actions.

11:41 We don't know the future, but day by day we will figure it out and continue forward. Wow. And you know what's fascinating to me you bring up such a an incredible point is the people that are surrounding us when we experience that can make such a difference in our life lives. And for the people that are listening that may not be going through something, but they have someone in their family or you know, in the relationships that is understanding. And I love how you know, Pitty wasn't there. They were just treating you supporting you. And what amazes me, quite frankly, is that the school was supporting you and accommodating you to that degree.

12:24 And I assume at what point in time were you absolutely not able to see, not able to read, and had to use other methodologies in order to do that. Oh, that that definitely happened quickly in high school. So about high school, I could not read any print, how to do everything either in braille or audio. So that happened very very very quickly. Well, and it's amazing to me and wonderful that the school was willing to accommodate that and do that. And so as you think about that, now here you are now and you've written a book, and what brought that about? So two perspectives that brought that about. The First perspective was it was incredibly healing for me to sit down and take the time to write my experiences out, just to write out and get it down was incredibly healing.

13:24 It was a source of empowerment for me. The reason it was so healing was because it made me realize and give me that perspective of incredible support that I did have where I just was taking that for granted because the moment was the moment. We were just all trying to survive the moment, keep going. Taking the time to stop and write the book while so moving forward in life gave me that perspective of gratitude of Wow, I am deeply grateful for the support I did have, and that support made all the difference in the world. That one perspective and then the other perspective was. Once I was through that initial traumatic adapting and transition, it was my deep passion to take the mindset that I had learned and share that with other people so that regardless of what their chain was, regardless of the traumatic transition that they're going through, even though it was totally different, the anxiety, depression, the grief, the uncertainty, the fear, all that's still the same. So I was passionate about being a resource that others could receive strength from as they went through their change.

14:43 Well, and the book's name is harboring, I'm sure. Yeah, it's harnessing courage. Harnessing courage. Yeah, And the reason there's a very specific reason I named that book. So I received my first guide dog in between the end of high school before I started college and the harness is what is around the guide dog. And then the end of the harness is what the person who's blind hole. So there's the dog's walking forward. You were holding the harness. So the reason I named it harness and courage is because that physically held the harness, and that gave me the courage to move forward, to physically feel safe and have confidence navigating the world physically being safe. So that's the first reason I named it harness and courage. The second reason is every single day, even though I'm adjusted, even though I'm adapted, I still have to use that courage and choose to harness the courage as I move forward in life.

15:50 So that there were two reasons for that name. It was very very specific, very deliberate that I named it harnessing courage. Well, and I love the word courage. Uh, you know, I've used that as I've as I've considered you know, personal transformation, and as we talk on the podcast about that and how important it is that as people are experiencing whether it's two degree that you have or and I say, this may be you know, similar degrees but different situations where they're just totally being affected by those imprints and experiences of their younger life and it takes courage to be able to move forward. If you finally had been able to become aware and doing so forth, and then you went on to college, you went on to get a master's degree. Can you share with the audience what that was?

16:43 Yeah, so the reason so let me back up to the college and that's the reason for the master. So in college, I'm majored in psychology. Because my fault was because of my life experience. I want to tho this on psychology where I can again support people in that mindset, emotional health, healing experience. Then, towards the end of college, as I was going deeper and deeper in the psychology and I was reflecting on my own experience, I realized that the healing that I had experienced was not just on the psychology level. It was not just on the spiritual level. It was not just on a physical receiving a guide dog and have the courage to move forward.

17:29 It was that constant flow between the mind, body spirit connection that came together to bring the healing. So it wasn't focusing on one aspect of my life. It was that constant balance of mind, body, spirit, So that's when and why I decided, once I had this degree in psychology, then I want to go pursue my Masters of Divinity, so I have that spiritual theological education that I can connect with the psychology. So because of my first experience and the healing that I found, that's the reason I connected those two disciplines well.

18:11 And then you went on to develop and found a whole organization and talk a little bit about that and what you're doing in that organization. Yeah, So the organization and the book are completely connected. So in the book in Hearts and Courage, while I tell my story and my life experience, I tell it through the perspective of grit and of gratitude. So I talk about the grit that my family, my brother, the teachers, my community had around me to first support me so that I could eventually accept that grit for myself. Then at the same time as I shared writing the book, I became such aware of the deep, deep gratitude that yes, this has been very hard. Yes it has been incredibly difficult to grieve and move forward. Yet I am so grateful for what helps me navigate through the difficulty. So the book is all about my perspective, through the perspective of great and gratitude. So that's the organization. So what I do now is the professional speaker and coach all on empowering others as they navigate through change, and specifically I talk about how do you navigate through that change using grits and then also at the same time using gratitude.

19:40 Well and with the with the organizations called it will be Global. Yes, you mentioned also that you coach. Is that coaching through your speaking or do you actually work with individuals through the organization to help them through these type of processes. Yes, that's individual. So the speaking is all speaking to groups two organizations, and the coaching is one on one work individually with people as they go through specific changes that I'm supporting them through that. Okay, so let's let's go through that process. And I know it's going to be very different. But one of the questions that just came to my mind, you know, you were really, in many respects, extremely blessed from the standpoint of you had that support not only not only from your family and your friends, but from the school and so forth. Yes, I would imagine that many people that you start to work with do not experience that support right right? How do you help them when they're not getting the type of support that you're experiencing. Because I can imagine someone is driving right now listening to this and going, I don't have any support. I'm going through all of this, but I don't have any support.

20:55 So how do you How do you help those people that are experiencing that lack of support, at least in their own mind. So the first thing that I remind each person I work with is, let me be your support. If you don't feel that you have any other support as you go through this difficult change, you do have one person supporting you. You do have one person that believes in you. You do have one person that you know is going to be here helping you compassionately guiding you through the process. So that's one teaching that I make sure is very clear that they know they have that support in me as their coach. Then, balanced with that, at the same time as I remind them, I also get them to think about, Okay, if you feel like you don't have any support around you, where do you feel support? Is it through nature? Is it through pets, through animals, is it through music? Is it through art, Is it through reading, is it through exercising, journaling, Just giving them that perspective, that mindset of where do you gain that strength? So allowing that strength in the most difficult time to come from me as their coach, supporting them and also from that either situation activity that they do feel supported or

22:29 energized by in their everyday life. Oh as as you work with them. Is there is there a general category of people's experiences. I mean, obviously yours was very, very difficult. Do you find that there's a variety of situations that people approach you with in itself? Is there a generality or is it very specific and very different? And what are they? It is very general. It's it's people they're having recent diagnosis that are very difficult. So on that physical level, it's a lot of people experiencing loss, either a loss of a relationship or a death of a loved one, or a loss in a major job. So it is a lot of people. A lot of what I do is supporting people through the grief process as they go through loss, but it's very overall, it's very general. I work with a lot of athletes as they're just going through the difficulty and experience, injury and just the mindset of being a competitive athlete. So it's all across the board.

23:45 Wow wow, And and how do you help them to begin to move forward as their experience And I, you know, I appreciate the fact that you're saying that this is mainly people who are experiencing a loss, and you're right, that is that happens for all of us, one way or the other. So what is how do you help them to move forward? So the very first step is acknowledging the difficulty of their situation. So rather than just instantly trying to move them to a place of okay, let's move forward, let's just figure this out. Let's move on, Jos taking the time and having the space to acknowledge the difficulty, to acknowledge if it's loss, to acknowledge that loss is really really hard and they don't want to move forward, or the loss is really really hard and they don't know how they're going to move forward. So just or if it's is not a loss, it was just a significant change Jos taking the time for me as the coach to hold that space for them where they can just sit in the pain, they can just feel the sadness.

24:54 They can hold space while they cry, while they feel angry, whatever the emotion be, just giving them time to acknowledge that because what I found. I'd say that because of what I found in my own life that, as I shared, my first reaction was that denial. I didn't give myself that time to just sit in the this is really really hard place. It was that instant I've got to move forward. I have to figure this out. Well, it's interesting you talk about the word denial, and you knows as you talk about acknowledge, it's like so often I think so many people either deny or they resist, Yes, the actual thing that's happening. And when they do that, from a psychology standpoint, when they do that, what's happening to them When they're experiencing the denial, they're experiencing the resistance to whatever is is going on.

25:48 Yes, that is preventing us from moving forward. Because I was in that denial. I wasn't able to move forward because I was in the complete denial of actually what was happening. So again that's why, from my own perspective, helping people to realize you don't have to resist or be in that denial. You just can be in that place of acknowledging the hard of acknowledging it is what it is. And what a lot of people tell me. The feedback I get from most people is the fear of if they acknowledge the difficulty, they're afraid they're going to get stuck there forever and that they won't be able to ave forward.

26:33 Yeah, and do you find that they find themselves in the victim mode where that can be very, very traumatizing to be yes, So it's. Not what I find more than the victim is they feel overwhelmed by the severity of the change. It almost is like they're drowning in the frustration, the anger, the overwhelm of the future, and they feel like they're drowning that out And so they're going to drowned in that emotion forever and they're never going to be able to come up for air and move forward. So as they acknowledge emotionally, what is what does that do for them? Is they acknowledge their situation honestly, and what's the next step once they do that?

27:20 So once they acknowledge it honestly how they're feeling, then that gives them the power to control their mindset, to control their emotions. So, no, they can't control the loss. No they can't control the change that's happening. What they can control is their response to it. So my next step, after they've sat with the difficult emotion is that's where the grit starts, and it's the grit of taking it literally, moment by moment, day by day. So I help people in that mindset, what can you control at seven o'clock in the morning when you first wake up, What can you control at eight thirty? What can you control at ten?

28:06 All you have to do is make that one phone call that's really difficult, or send that one email that you're afraid to send. So taking the whole picture of the magnitude of what they're going through and breaking it down to moment by moment, step by step so that there's more mental control over their emotions and their mindset. And you know that fascinates me. You you talked about how you started to ultimately realize as you experienced, is that there's a there's a correlation of body, mind and spirit. I'd love for you to expand on that a little bit because I think that's really important for people to understand that they're never alone, and there is that whole correlation.

28:54 So what I found is as I was in that intense anxiety and depression and I didn't realize how I was holding my body, that I was constantly tensing my shoulders, I was constantly tensing my muscles. I was constantly had that like pit feeling in my stomach. So there was a real physical reaction in my body. Actually, the I was holding my muscle so tight that I was having sharp pain in my left shoulder blade, and so I it was so bad I had that physical the doctor ordered physical therapy for it. So my emotional reaction was causing that physical reaction in my body. And at the same time, on a spiritual level, I was asking all those questions, do I still matter? Do I still have purpose in the world, Do I still have gifts? What's why should I even move forward? Is it even worth it?

29:56 So that's what I mean about the mind body connection is so prevalent. And then as my mindset started to change and I shifted to that mindset if I can in that place of healing and accepting who who I was, I realized I don't have to be so tense in my body, I can relax my muscles. I can relax and have better sleep at night. I can incorporate exercise into part of my day, and the exercise is going to help me physically and also emotionally. And then as I experienced that change mentally and physically, I started to realize, oh yeah, spiritually I do matter. I do so I'll still have gifts. I still am enough. I just can't see as well. So that's what I mean about that mind body spirit connection. Our mindset is connected to our body reaction, our spiritual reaction, and vice versa well.

31:04 And as you've worked with people, and this gets to be interesting to me as I see people going through these type of transformations that you know, as you talk about resistance, as you talk about denial h and how that can affect the body and what that does chemically to the body. Have you noticed as you started to work with people where they may also have a combination of not only that experience and laws, but physically they're not doing real well or they're having some specific issues. And as you work with them as they come through that process, do you see that their health improves or those physical situations go away.

31:50 So what I find is that has people move from acknowledging the laws, moving forward from the laws, just changing that mind said, incorporating mindfulness into their every day. As they work on that mindset and motions, they just have overall better help. They go to their yearly check up and their blood work is completely different and improved from last year. It's they don't have that desire to eat a bunch of junk food. They want to eat that healthy, whole foods. They they're not just exercising because I know it's something I have to do and I'm forcing myself do and I don't want to do, and I can't feel a difference. But they're exercising, and then all of a sudden, they're experiencing the weight loss, the muscle gain, the sleeping better, They're experiencing this physical benefits and healing well.

32:47 And you know what's interesting to me is we talked about suffering, and certainly here we are talking about your experience and other people's experiences where they really experience that suffering. And yet you're talking about how as they developed that grit, as they developed that courage, as it developed the gratitude that and acknowledge what's going on that in some way that starts to diminish the suffering you're experiencing. Yes, yes, and I was one thousand percent in my experience. Yes, the difficulty, the frustration hasn't gone away. I'm still a person without sight in the sided world. Yet everything that you just said, my mindset, just my spiritual world, my mental world, the physical it all helps ease the suffering and make that suffering less and less and less. So it's not that the suffering is no longer there, it's just I know how to manage the suffering.

33:54 And therefore you don't suffer as much. Yeah, that's interesting. So, you know, as you talk about gratitude, because I know that's an important thing, I think you know, I personally experienced difficulties sometimes being grateful for whatever is going on here and there. Yeah, let's expand a little bit on gratitude. And as you talk about gratitude and as you help people to develop gratitude, what do you find are the obstacles and what do you find helps them and what are the things that they really need to focus their gratitude on. So let me first there a story of how the whole gratitude experience started for me because I wasn't feeling grateful right Like, I wasn't grateful to become blind. I wasn't grateful to have that depression anxiety. I wasn't grateful to be a teenager. That wasn't the same as all my other friends. I didn't feel like there was going to be grateful for. So in high school, a mentor of mind said to me, or, I want you to start writing down three things that you're grateful for. At the end of each day, I want you to write down three things that you're thankful for. They be people, situations.

35:09 Just start doing that. Well, in my mind, thankfully, I didn't say this, but in my mind, my response was, Okay, you're not a good mentor because I've just lost my sight. I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm overwhelmed. I have nothing to be grateful for. That's just not good advice, don't I don't like that. In my stubbornness, I said, Okay, I'm gonna proofer wrong. I'm actually gonna be her mentor. I'm gonna change the table here and I'm going to be her mentor and teach her. That's just not good advice to give to someone in the midst of that change. So the one day became three days, three days became seven days, the week, one week became three weeks, and I slowly realized what my mentor was teaching me. I resist that gratitude because I thought she was saying, I want you to be grateful for the blindness. I want you to be grateful for the suffering. I want you to be grateful for the difficulty. What she was teaching me is I want you to create a mindset of gratitude where you're grateful for what helps you navigate through the change. So again, not waking up and saying, gosh, I'm so grateful to be blind, but to wake up and say, I am so grateful that in the midst of the suffering, I have parents who still are supporting me and doing whatever it will take to figure out

36:40 this new world. I'm grateful to have a brother that still treats me like his little baby, younger, annoying sister, you know, and still does those normal sibling interactions. I'm grateful for the guide dog that helps you navigate the world. So that's how gratitude started for me. It wasn't because I was thankful for the blindness. It was because that mentor helped me to create that mindset that made me grateful for what helps you navigate through the change. So that's exactly the gratitude that I work with, both through the speaking and through the coaching, is helping others to develop that perspective of you know, we're not grateful for your change, we're not grateful for your loss, but I want you to be grateful for what helps you get through the laws through the change. So that very clear distinction.

37:38 Well, and you know, it's amazing how that brings about a change of mindset to the point where then not only that experience, but anything else that's going on, if they've got that mindset of gratitude, they're no longer they're no longer at the effect of these situations, but rather they are actually in control. In control absolutely, And the gratitude is what we can control. We can control the mindset of being grateful for what helps us through. Well, that's lovely, and hey, this has been just an amazing experience for me to listen to you and to have you share your experiences and as we as we come to a close. Number one, I'd like for you to share how the audience can find you and get your book.

38:26 So the best place is my website. So Laura Bratton dot com has all of the information about the speaking, the coaching in the book. Okay, and again, what's the website. Laura Bratton dot com. So my name is b R A T. T O N. Right. Okay, great, and so as we close, what would be a final message that you would like to share with the audience. The message is, in the midst of change, when you're navigating through change, give yourself the self compassion to acknowledge the change and then choose to move forward moment by moment by moment and trust and know that you're enough.

39:09 That's wonderful. Laura, thank you so much. This is just as I say, been enlightening and I appreciate it so much. Well, thank you for the opportunity for creating this platform. Well, and thank you and folks, thanks for listening. I know that you're getting something out of this, and I hope that for those of you that need a little bit more that you can contact Laura and literally see read a book and get some help because we all go through this We're not alone. We all go through these experiences and to be able to have someone that can help guide us through these experiences is magic. So once again, Laura, I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you're doing and acknowledging that, and secondarily, folks, hope you'll join us again soon. So this is doctor Doug saying no mistayd do to repair