May 12, 2025

Finding Balance & Joy: A Journey of Transformation

Finding Balance & Joy: A Journey of Transformation
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Arlene Cohen Miller, JD PCC, shares her journey from law to life coaching and mentoring, helping women find balance, fulfillment, and self-love. Discover insights on overcoming fear, embracing gratitude, and transforming your life.
https://jewelconsultancy.com/

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better, It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Arlene, welcome to the show.

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Thank you for having me.

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I'm looking forward to it. E. I'd love for you

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to share with the audience kind of your personal journey

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what brought you to this point where there are things

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in your life where you had AHA moments or whatever

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that was that brought you to what you're doing today

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to help particularly women I understand, really transform their lives.

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Well, when I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to

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become an attorney. I don't think my parents believe me. First,

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we didn't have any attorneys in my family. My father

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was an entrepreneur, but I think he's pretty old fashioned

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of me going to college and getting married and having

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lots of babies. So I didn't exactly do that. I

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did go to college, I did get my law degree.

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I went back to Kentucky where I was born and

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raised and went to University of Kentucky College a law

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for that. After law school, my then husband and I

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went up to Cleveland where he had stuff that he

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needed to do for his career, and I worked for

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some other attorneys for about three four years, and then

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I opened my own office in a suburb of the

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western suburb of Cleveland called Lakewood, just a little tiny

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office with a couple of other attorneys and businesses. And

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I immediately found out I was pregnant, and so my

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family and my husband husband's family were all in Louisville, Kentucky,

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and all of my peers from law school, all my

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connections were practicing in Kentucky or like we're Indiana and

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Ohio met Kentucky, we're the Ohio River. So I really

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didn't have a support system, so I had to sort

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of grow my tribe on my own, do things, sort

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of wing it from scratch of how to be how

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to start a business, get up, and going how to

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be a mom, all at the same time while my

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then husband was working like seventy hours a week. So

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it was an interesting journey and I guess that's part

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of the reason. I have a lot of compassion and

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empathy for women, especially mothers who are working, and so

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that's eventually the Welt short story. I ended up being

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a work life balance and harmony coach, but I am

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expanding that out to more the tech profession just because

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of all the professions, they are just the most stressed out,

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especially the ones that are working from home, especially since COVID,

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and it just feels like a lot of what I

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share could be helpful for them, and so I'm learning

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to really better with men at workshops and stuff like that.

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I have been an attorney. I was an attorney for

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many many years. I had a solo practice in a

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suburb of Cleveland, and I practiced family law and commercial law.

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And then I sold when my son was nine and

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we moved to Longmanck, Colorado, a suburb of Denver, and

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I bought into another commercial law practice. I had met

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the gentleman when I went to a business meeting in

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Chicago and ended up marrying him, and we were married

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for quite a long time, and so that's how I

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went through the law stuff. And when I was an attorney,

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I also started studying. I got a diploma in Transformational

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Holistic Counseling in coaching and mentoring and certification and meditation.

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And this is about six years before we sold the business,

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because I felt that they didn't teach me how to

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listen as an attorney, you know, and I was doing

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a lot of negotiating of settlements, I was doing the

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marketing for a lot of the marketing for the law firm,

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and I knew there was something missing. I didn't know

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what it was, but it was just really learning how to,

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like they call it, hold space for people, you know,

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kind of that non judgmental, that unconditional positive regard space

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where people can relax and feel heard and understood and

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so among other things. I learned that when I got

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that extra education, and I've had my own business as

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a coach and a mentor and a facilitator and the

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other things I do. I opened the office, I opened

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the business in twenty eleven, but I really didn't start,

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you know, making a more of a full time thing

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until we sold the business several years ago. I never

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thought I was going to do that, but yeah, that's

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what that's what happened.

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Okay, So, so you had your own personal transformation.

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What was it suddenly a sudden awareness.

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Or what was it that helped you to realize that, Okay,

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you know, I'm going to sell my law practice, which

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is you know, quite something and go into this transformational

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help for people for women. What what was that aha

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moment particularly or was there one or was it just gradual?

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It was a gradual thing, you know. I got the certification,

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I started using it in my business. I saw out

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worked with my staff. I saw how it worked with

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my family and my partner and the people that I

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was working with and marketing with because I was running

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a business meeting in California once a year. It's always

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like I had a lot of I've got a lot

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of chairs, quite a few different things than a national

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business organization that we were involved in. So it was gradual.

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You know.

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I never really thought I was going to leave the

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practice a law. I just think after many, many years

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of practicing law, I got burnt out and I just

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really needed a change and I was helping people in

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the practice of law. But there was never a break.

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You know, It's always there if you're a coach, if

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your own if you have your own business as a

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coach and a mentor and a facilitator. You can that

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when you're going to have, when you're going to talk

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to people, when you're going to do all the things

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that you do, there's no and there's like a beginning

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and an end. But it's not true with the practice

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of law.

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And isn't that interesting?

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We get so caught up in what we have been

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told we should do or what we originally choose to do,

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and find that we get so caught up and there's

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no balance. I was talking to my daughter the other day,

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and she had gone back to her university and been

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asked to, you know, kind of talk to the students

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about what she had done and where she was now

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working in an area entirely different than what her master's

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degree was in. But what when we talked about it

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a little bit, she talked about this work balance and

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how she realized that for her work balance was so

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essential and that was really an important aspect of her

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values and her desires.

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And it seems like we can get also.

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Caught up in work and what we're doing, and we

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find that we get into something we think we really like,

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and all of a sudden it gets to the point

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where we get so busy that we do not have

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that balance much. And is this an area that you

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have found as you're working with women that seems to

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be a common theme.

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Yeah, there's a lot of common themes. And I mean

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the sexes are different. You know, women are nurturers. We

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give birth to babies, and it's still in this world

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even though the fathers are more involved. It feels like,

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especially when the kids are young, a lot more falls

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on us. And it was really hard, you know, well

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the first year I opened my law firm, and after

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my son was born, because you know, I was pregnant

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for the first nine months that I had him, you know,

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the first you know year of his life, I didn't

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work full time, you know, I was I was really

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grateful that my partner had a roof over our heads

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and food on the table, you know, even if I

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wasn't seeing him very much, I didn't have to worry

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about that, and it would have been impossible. I mean,

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I don't know how I could have done it all

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and gotten any sleep because I wasn't doing any sleep

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pretty much anyway at the new mom So it is

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and I also like to bring in balance, not just balance,

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but harmony. Because balance feels too like you're going to

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get something perfect and it's all going to be okay.

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I don't think it's like that for anybody. You know,

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everything's always shifting and changing and we need to be

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flexible and adaptable.

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Well, and as I went on to your website, and

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you know, I love when you know here you have

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all these things you talk about or mentioned on your

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website and other things. And one of the things that

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just hit me strongly is you really talk about manifesting

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and living in love and unleashing love.

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Can you talk about that? And how does that.

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Apply to the to the people now that you are

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working with and helping And what is usually their situation

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that causes them to reach out to you?

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Well, three questions. I'm sorry about that.

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Well, you know, I think people reach out to me

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for a whole bunch of different reasons, but the bottom

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line is is they feel stressed and anxiou sit and

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overwhelmed and maybe burnt out, and they can feel they

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feel an affinity with me and hope that working with me,

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they can find a way to alleviate some of that

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stuff and feel more calm and centered and confident. Because

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I like to work with people from the inside out.

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You know.

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If like if we feel really calm and grounded and

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fully present in ourselves, it's like our energy sort of

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expands out, like it's like a bigger heart that's holding us,

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and it's a lot easy. We can get whatever we

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need to get done. Is it might not change, but

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it's going to feel a lot easier to move through it.

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It's like I have certain times the day and I

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write a blog and sometimes if I've hit the right time,

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it just flows out of me. It takes five or

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ten minutes. It's done. If you hit me do it

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now this time of night, I will be staring at

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the screen for three hours. So you know, we have

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to know our own buyer rhythms, you know, and what

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works for us. And I really do feel that what

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ties is up and knocks is that we get so

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busy doing or giving to other people that our cup

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runs dry. And so the best way to be able

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to be of service to itself and others is to

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know how to fill ourselves up with love. So our

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heart is full of love and we're sharing the overflow

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with others because otherwise we're going to get burnt out.

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We're going to get frustrated or angry of the people

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that we're giving to. Then we're going to be They're

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going to judge yourself for that and feel guilty, and

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then we'll go through the same kind of process of

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overgiving again. And I do find it more prevalent in women,

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but it can be anybody, and it's not a comfortable

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process to go through. So I like to help people

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to break that cycle.

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Well, you know, it's interesting and this is a common

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thing that I love to talk about, and you kind

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of referred to it, and that is how our experiences

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in life, our behavior are. So often we tend to

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do this, do that, do this, do that so that

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we'll be happy, and so forth, rather than recognizing that

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as we can internal and start to change the soul within,

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if we can call it that, that all of a sudden,

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the outer experiences change because it's a matter of a

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reflection of who we have become, not a reflection of

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who we're trying to be.

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What are your thoughts on that, Well, I agree with

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you one hundred and ten percent. And I mean one

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of the ways that I do that if I get

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out in nature, you know, because she's just to me,

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she feels so loving and kind and soothing. And I

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live in Colorado and the beautiful place to get out

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in nature, but you can live anywhere, and I think

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that connection is really really important, the connection with ourselves.

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And if we're in front of a computer all day,

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it's really hard to do that, but we you know,

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it seems to me it's easier out in nature just

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to feel the energy of it, which is beautiful usually,

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and just to connect with the ground and to appreciate

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the beauty around us. That's a great way to work

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with stuff. But yeah, we feel different on the inside,

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and we feel more love and kindness and respect for

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ourselves and others. We're going to see the world a

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lot differently than if we just feel really stressed and

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anxious and overwhelmed. And you know, when we're like that,

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we're all contracted. We're not even breathing right, so we're

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not even oxygenating our bodies, and it's just not a

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happy way, how a happy place to be.

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So how do you help people? Let's get a little

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business ific. Obviously, you know someone that's working with you

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is going to take some time that As our listeners

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listen today, I think that for me, getting a little

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bit of information creates even greater curiosity, and then all

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of a sudden you reach out to people that can

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really help you. So when you talk to people, when

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you talk to women who are experiencing that stress, that

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lack of balance and so on and so forth, how

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do you approach them and what do you find is

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the commonality of why they're experiencing the stress that they're

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experiencing and not experiencing joy. And obviously walking to nature

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is an important one, but that's not I would suspect

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the initial.

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Thing you do.

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No, and I coach. You can choose like coaching or mentoring,

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or or like a combination of both of them if

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you're working with me, But they're very different modalities. With coaching,

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I'm partnering with the person I'm working with, and I

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know that they have all of the answers inside of them.

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So I might be asking powerful questions. I might be

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reflecting back what they're sharing. I might be sharing some

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intuitions or insights that I have by their behavior, their demeanor,

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what they're saying. Some times we don't listen to our words,

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but I'm always turning it back to them to decide

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where to from here. So they're the one that's deciding

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the focus of our conversation. They're the ones that are

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telling me what's the words they're sharing mean. They're the

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ones they're telling me where they like to be by

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the end of our time together and why it's important

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to them. It's mine to have to partner with them

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and walk alongside them and hold that space of judgment

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free love and help them to because they're in a bigger,

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expanded space to really feel into it, maybe explo think

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they haven't been able to go that deep before with

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If I'm mentoring somebody, they're coming to me to stand

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on my shoulders. So I'll be more. Let's try this,

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and I'll give them something to do. It might be

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something like rough work. We might decide that let's work

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with our inner coach and notice where our inner critic

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has kind of gone wild, and learn how to talk

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to ourselves in a way that is kind and loving,

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and to notice from that way it comes up. You know,

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there's a way to turn that around. So there's a

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lot of different topics that we can work with, and basically,

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you know, I'll have a conversation and I'll begin to

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into it and start with some basic stuff with them.

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I do work with energetic kind of stuff. I do

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help people that I am mentoring work with, like how

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to energetically length and clear and protect themselves, because otherwise

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what we're trying to let go of can often be

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stuff we've taken on from other people.

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Well, and I love that I talked about the fact

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that our energy is really a magnet, whether you want

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to call it positive or negative energy, and that may

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be depending on you know, where we're at at that

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particular time. But what happens is that we tend to

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attract to our lives the very magnet that we're experiencing.

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So if we're experiencing that negativity and lack of love

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and all of that, we're going to attract that very

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thing into our lives. And sometimes we never understand why

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does this keep happening to me? Why do I keep

305
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finding the same partner in my life and their abusive

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they're unkind whatever that happens to be. Talk a little

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bit about this energy and what you have discovered and

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observed relative to the energy that people have and how

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that literally affects their experiences in life.

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Well, you're a hund percent correct, And basically it's a

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lot of things that can come into that, but it's

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a law of attraction.

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You know.

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What we focus on is what we get more of

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in our lives. And people don't realize, and I didn't

316
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realize when I was younger how much I was focusing

317
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on the reverse of an idea, like I wanted to

318
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have like a really positive relationship, especially after my first divorce,

319
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but I hadn't cleared all the stuff that led to

320
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me entering into that relationship, and so I was, of

321
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:28.600
course could to attract the same kind of person again.

322
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But if I look at how I was back then,

323
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I would talk to my girlfriends about all the horrible

324
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negative things about any of the guys I were dating,

325
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and I thought, that's how we bonded, and it not.

326
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It's not kind to myself, is not kind to the

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other person. They're going to be energetically impacted by that.

328
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And I was telling the universe, I want more of

329
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that kind of dysfunction in my life because that's what

330
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I was focusing on. That's what I was judging. I

331
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was judging the people I was dating, I was judging myself.

332
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I was judging people that didn't give me the kudos

333
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to say, oh I get you our lean, I understand

334
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what you're going through and you know, boosting me up.

335
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And so it was a really So I've had personal

336
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experience in that really negative cycle. It's not a kind

337
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place to be. But we don't often realize what we're doing.

338
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And so if we work with a coach, or we

339
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work with a counselor we work with a mentor we

340
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work with somebody that we resonate with, it can help

341
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us break that cycle and become aware of how we're

342
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talking to ourselves and aware of what we're saying to

343
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other people and how that's creating what's already in our life.

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Then that's the first step to begin to start to

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change that.

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Well, so I'm going to go way off the topic

347
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here for a minute, just because that's what you said.

348
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Now, First of all, where are you located now?

349
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I live and I work out of my home, and

350
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I live in Longmont, Colorado, which is about forty minutes

351
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northwest of Denver, Okay.

352
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So it's really fascinating as I get on Facebook from

353
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time to time and I see some of my acquaintances

354
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and friends that I've had all of a sudden because

355
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of the political nature of what's going on right now.

356
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And I'm not going to comment on that other than

357
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and I don't want to get into a political thing here.

358
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But what I'm noticing is there's so many times people

359
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are posting comments continually that reflect their anger, their frustration

360
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with whatever's happening. And that was before this situation in

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the latest election, and even now, what do you find

362
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is happening with those people?

363
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When you know, for you you were talking.

364
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About the negativity of the menu or daiting and so

365
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on and so forth.

366
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Here now we have people.

367
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Who are talking about the negativity of politics, and it's

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gotten to the point where that's all they talk about,

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what's happening to them and their lives. And how do

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we help people to change because that's creating such a

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division within our country. How do we how do we

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help people to get to the point where they recognize that,

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you know what, I've got to stop doing that because

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it's affecting me, regardless of what they think, it's affecting me.

375
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Right well, the only person that we can change is ourselves.

376
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And so I'm going to get really maybe a little

377
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bit woo woo here, but you you broached the subject.

378
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So I'll share with you how we can make a

379
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difference in the world from right here, right now. And

380
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that is is that let's say that we have a

381
00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:46.400
really positive experience with a group, or with another person

382
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or within ourselves. Something happened and we it's just something

383
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that we love. Maybe it's me and I took a course,

384
00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:55.000
a coaching course, and I was in this mentoring group

385
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:58.240
with a bunch of other coaches and it was just fantastic,

386
00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:01.839
and I just love the experience learning so much. It

387
00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:04.519
could be anything that happened in our life and we

388
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can just go, oh my god, this is so amazing

389
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and we really feel it with all our hearts. What

390
00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:13.160
happens is it gets imprinted in the lower Kostak records,

391
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and that's where people reach when they're having problems. Most

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00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:19.119
human beings can't go to anything higher than the lower

393
00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:23.920
Kastak records. And so we're imprinting up there something we're

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just love and we're really excited about and it's positive,

395
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and so that people have something they can reach for

396
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if they have a similar experience, so that they're just

397
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not they're reaching with all that other low level negativity

398
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that everyone else is putting in that lower level of

399
00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:43.680
castak records with how bad this is and what this

400
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.880
person says, and it's very convoluted. There's a lot of

401
00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:54.720
misinformation beings circulated out there to separate people, because if

402
00:20:54.759 --> 00:20:57.759
people are separated, they're not going to be willing. They're

403
00:20:57.759 --> 00:20:59.759
not looking at all the things we have in common

404
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:02.039
that that aren't working well in the world. And if

405
00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:04.839
we come together as a whole, or at least in

406
00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:07.279
big groups of people, we can make changes on the ground,

407
00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:11.039
whether we're in politics or not. And so I hope

408
00:21:11.079 --> 00:21:14.000
that makes sense to you, But for me, it's one

409
00:21:14.039 --> 00:21:16.799
of the ways that I feel I can be of service.

410
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:22.319
But it kept to come from a genuine, artfelt space

411
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of something that just was really wonderful that we want

412
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other people to be able to use that if they

413
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:29.240
have a similar experience.

414
00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.440
Well, and I think you're talking about the quantum field

415
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:35.839
to some degree, and how that energy is out there

416
00:21:35.920 --> 00:21:38.079
that we can attract one way or the other. But

417
00:21:39.160 --> 00:21:42.039
you bring up another point that I find interesting. When

418
00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:46.119
you're working with people, how often do you find, whether

419
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:48.640
you're mentoring them or coaching them, how often do you

420
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:53.079
find that they are surrounding themselves with the very people

421
00:21:53.759 --> 00:22:00.960
that are causing or at least increasing those negativity feelings

422
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:07.039
that they're having, rather than surrounding themselves with positive individuals

423
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:09.839
that ultimately would change their own perception.

424
00:22:10.519 --> 00:22:13.599
It's interesting some people are and some people aren't. You know,

425
00:22:13.720 --> 00:22:16.680
some people have this kind of duality thing going on

426
00:22:16.839 --> 00:22:20.640
where we're maybe at work they're being more of a

427
00:22:20.759 --> 00:22:22.720
doormat and a people pleaser, and they go home with

428
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:24.759
their teenagers and they're being a little bit of a

429
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:27.880
tyrant and they don't really see the difference because they

430
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:30.359
don't have balance really in either place, and they really

431
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.759
need to maybe at work, not be a dormat anymore,

432
00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:36.920
and you know, be more assertible, have clear and strong

433
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:40.559
and appropriate boundaries within the parameters of who they're working for,

434
00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:43.079
and not go home and take care take it out

435
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:45.920
on their kids. There are some people, especially in the

436
00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:48.880
tech industry, that you know, you're working with people that

437
00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:53.920
are very demanding and demanding things that are impossible to

438
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:55.359
go through right now because they read it in a

439
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:58.799
magazine article and is supposed to work. So it can

440
00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:02.200
go both ways, and a lot of it really depends

441
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:05.680
on how willing a person is to change. Do they

442
00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:08.119
want a sort of a stop gap measure so they'll

443
00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:11.000
feel better with their lives, or are they really willing

444
00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:13.599
to dive deep and maybe take a leap of faith

445
00:23:13.640 --> 00:23:17.400
and do something you know, majure different in their lives.

446
00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:21.519
And that's really for them to decide, because people are

447
00:23:21.559 --> 00:23:25.359
ready when people are ready, And it's not really for

448
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:27.319
me to say you need to do this now because

449
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:29.720
I don't know, you know, I don't have the big

450
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:32.759
greater picture of you know, being that are way so

451
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:35.720
long than I am. So I just do my best

452
00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:39.759
to you know, hold space and to help them to

453
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:41.599
make the best decisions for themselves.

454
00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:44.839
Do you find that fear plays a large role in

455
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:49.240
that where people are? You know, I noticed this and

456
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:51.960
particularly as I've interviewed a number of women who have

457
00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:54.680
been in the music relationships and as they tell their story,

458
00:23:55.160 --> 00:23:57.839
they talk about they keep getting into another and another one,

459
00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:02.480
and what really comes out of that is their realization

460
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:06.559
finally that the fear of the unknown was so much

461
00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:10.640
greater at that time than getting back into a similar

462
00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:13.599
type of situation that they could not get out of it,

463
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:16.759
and ultimately they were able to overcome that fear and

464
00:24:17.319 --> 00:24:20.119
be brave enough to get out of those relationships, and

465
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:21.400
that was their experience.

466
00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:23.319
But do you find that fear.

467
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:27.200
Plays a heavy role with people who are not able

468
00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:30.240
to change or are trying to but seem to not

469
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:30.920
be able.

470
00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:34.680
To do it. I think that fear plays a big role.

471
00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:38.880
And some people just they also there yet, So fear

472
00:24:38.920 --> 00:24:40.359
does play a role because even if they don't want

473
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:41.880
to step forward, and then maybe they're a little bit

474
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:43.400
lazy and they don't want to do the work and

475
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:45.680
they want the mentic feury does to come grit from

476
00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:48.880
down and make everything sparkly. That's going to happen. We

477
00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:51.400
have to do the work ourselves. So yeah, there is

478
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:54.880
a lot of fear in there, and it is possible

479
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:58.160
to overcome it, and it takes a lot of severance

480
00:24:58.200 --> 00:25:01.559
into napity and you know, just choosing love even when

481
00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:02.759
you don't feel it.

482
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:05.960
So how does someone learn to love themselves?

483
00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:07.079
You know?

484
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:10.279
I find that that seems to be one of the

485
00:25:10.359 --> 00:25:13.559
most difficult things we talk about, as though it's really easy,

486
00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:17.640
you know, love yourself, but the reality is that I

487
00:25:17.759 --> 00:25:21.160
think people really find it difficult to truly love themselves.

488
00:25:21.240 --> 00:25:24.240
How do you help people to do that and to

489
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:27.359
understand there's so much imprinting that we get as children

490
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:29.400
that I'm not good enough that you know, all of

491
00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:30.839
these type of things that happen.

492
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:34.599
How do you help people to learn how.

493
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:39.480
To love themselves and to understand that innately they truly

494
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:44.079
are lovable and even beyond that, they have this wonderful

495
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:46.000
light within them that.

496
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:48.240
Is who they really are.

497
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:52.039
Right, So we're all aspect of source, and so we're

498
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:55.440
all worthy of love. But I do hear what you're saying,

499
00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:58.680
and it's hard, and it's not hard. I sort of

500
00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.160
view it as if like I mean, when I was younger,

501
00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:05.640
I ran, so I ran like ten k's and half

502
00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:09.720
marathons and five k's and I was a runner in triathlons,

503
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.400
and I really enjoyed all that. But I had to practice.

504
00:26:12.920 --> 00:26:14.640
And for a while I was on a master's swim

505
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:16.480
team when I was an adult, and you had to practice.

506
00:26:16.519 --> 00:26:18.640
I didn't do raceis, but you know, just to keep

507
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:20.400
up with the other people in the pool, something that

508
00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:23.480
does not put it over you. You got to practice swimming.

509
00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:26.319
And the same thing is when it comes to loving yourself.

510
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:31.119
If we got messages that to just tended to destroy

511
00:26:31.240 --> 00:26:33.279
that feeling that we could love results so that we

512
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:36.160
were lovable, even if it was just a little bit

513
00:26:36.200 --> 00:26:38.240
when we were kids, but we took in printing on

514
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:41.400
you know, maybe you know our parents didn't feel worthy

515
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:44.160
of love. It wasn't communicating, but we felt that. And

516
00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:47.920
so a few things that we can do is that,

517
00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:50.720
first of all, to realize that we already had that

518
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:54.319
within us, because most of us, if we had a

519
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:57.160
friend or someone that we loved and they came to

520
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.559
us and started telling us all the things that were

521
00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:02.000
saying and that you know that we're going through that

522
00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:04.839
and that's what's wrong in their life and they're telling us,

523
00:27:05.400 --> 00:27:08.079
you know, we would be kind, we would be patient,

524
00:27:08.440 --> 00:27:11.480
we would listen, we would be nurturing, we would champion them.

525
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:13.799
If they had their head up a dark place, we

526
00:27:13.960 --> 00:27:17.200
might you know, share a little bit of tough love,

527
00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.000
but if we love them, when we cared about them,

528
00:27:20.039 --> 00:27:21.599
we would find a way to be there for them.

529
00:27:22.039 --> 00:27:23.799
And so the bottom line is that we have the

530
00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:26.440
skill and ability. All we have to do is turn

531
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.920
around and start giving it to ourselves. And the way

532
00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:32.279
I like to share with people to give it to

533
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:35.599
yourselves is that if you feel scared, if you feel anxious,

534
00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:39.079
if you feel overwhelmed. I always ask myself, how old

535
00:27:39.240 --> 00:27:41.960
is this aspect of Arlene inside of me? You know?

536
00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:44.119
Might she might feel eight, she might feel fifteen. It

537
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:46.440
doesn't matter what it is. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrongly,

538
00:27:46.599 --> 00:27:49.680
just a feeling. I turn around. I do my best

539
00:27:49.720 --> 00:27:52.079
to visualize how I was and what I look like

540
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:54.200
and everything about me at that age. And I love

541
00:27:54.279 --> 00:27:57.319
that bit of me because it's probably a bit of

542
00:27:57.400 --> 00:28:01.200
me that I that's been languishing without my love. Maybe

543
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:05.400
I didn't like that bit behavior. I didn't really care

544
00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:09.440
for my behavior myself as a teenager. Maybe it was

545
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.759
something that happened as a kid where I just I

546
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:14.759
got stuck, you know, and and I didn't know how

547
00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:17.599
to deal with it then and something happened, and you know,

548
00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:19.759
I just sort of covered it up because I was

549
00:28:19.880 --> 00:28:23.279
I didn't have the skills to handle what I experienced,

550
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:27.440
because I'm pretty sensitive and intuitive, and so things that

551
00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:30.720
wouldn't bother most people could have could floor me. But

552
00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:33.559
nobody knew. I didn't really I didn't share that with people.

553
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:37.680
I just didn't. And so if we love those bits,

554
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:38.880
that's the beginning.

555
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:41.000
Well, and you know, you talk.

556
00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:44.119
About those experiences that can affect us so deeply, and

557
00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:47.359
you also talk about gratitude, So I want to I

558
00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:50.559
want to kind of tie those things together because what

559
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:53.839
I found is so often people will look back at

560
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:58.720
these situations that they've experienced, and you know, there's that regret,

561
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:01.799
there's perhaps a shame, whatever that happens to be the

562
00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:05.599
anger whatever. What have you found and do you help

563
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:10.319
people to reframe those experiences and recognize that you know

564
00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:14.160
what if I really look back at that that experience

565
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:19.680
taught me something and then be grateful for that lesson

566
00:29:20.119 --> 00:29:23.880
by changing that perception, by you know, reframing that experience,

567
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:28.119
do you find that with gratitude that really helps people

568
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:31.920
to start to move out of those situations and become

569
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:33.279
something different.

570
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.839
Well, gratitude is awesome, Coos top And what you're talking

571
00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:40.119
about is something I like to share as well as

572
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:44.000
that mistakes or opportunities to learn and grow, they're not

573
00:29:44.119 --> 00:29:46.119
an excuse to take that whip and chain and beat

574
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:49.119
ourselves up. They're just an opportunity to learn and grow.

575
00:29:49.720 --> 00:29:53.960
And as human beings on planet Earth, it's sole experiencing

576
00:29:54.039 --> 00:29:55.880
in this body which makes a lot of mistakes. We

577
00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:58.559
came here to learn and grow and have experiences and

578
00:29:58.720 --> 00:30:01.839
learn from them, and so yeah, you're absolutely right. You know,

579
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:04.480
what can I learn from this experience? And if we

580
00:30:04.599 --> 00:30:06.880
really feel into what we can learn from this experience

581
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:09.559
and we take it to heart, and you know, the

582
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:12.519
next time something similar happens in my life, we can

583
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:14.799
visualize and feel how we're going to do it differently

584
00:30:15.319 --> 00:30:17.480
and really feel that, because then we have like a

585
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:20.839
baseline if something similar happens to again that we could

586
00:30:20.920 --> 00:30:23.359
could be our go to instead of our old way

587
00:30:23.359 --> 00:30:26.839
of handling things that wasn't working and we were beating

588
00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:31.519
ourselves up for. And of course, when we experience gratitude,

589
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:36.920
that changes everything. It's just such a high vibrational, sacred quality.

590
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:40.559
And so one of the ways I help people is

591
00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:43.599
just a lot of people make the mistake that I

592
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:46.559
need to wait to be something for something to be

593
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.599
grateful for. I mean, I need to wait to get

594
00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:51.400
out of this horrible relationship and have my night in

595
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:54.000
shining Army and everything's perfect, and then I'll be grateful.

596
00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:57.039
And that's not a good plan. We have so much

597
00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:00.400
already in our lives to be grateful for you know,

598
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:02.519
I have nice comfy clothes to where a little bit

599
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:05.640
sure to stop. That's comfortable if you warm. I have

600
00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:07.720
a nice bed to sleep and it's really comfortable. I

601
00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:10.119
have food in my fridge in my pantry. I have

602
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:13.119
hot water running. I can take a shower whenever I want.

603
00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:16.400
I mean, all those little things that we all have.

604
00:31:16.839 --> 00:31:19.000
I have in a car that works and takes peoplehere

605
00:31:19.079 --> 00:31:22.559
where you need to go. If we take the time

606
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:25.960
to really look around and appreciate what we have, and

607
00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:28.920
even the simple thing of not eating on the run

608
00:31:29.000 --> 00:31:32.279
and having a plate of food and just enjoying it

609
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:35.200
so much because it's so delicious and it's nourishing my body,

610
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:38.359
and all those things help to build the gratitude so

611
00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:41.480
that we can have we can begin to have gratitude

612
00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:44.319
for all of our experiences, even the quote negative ones.

613
00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:48.720
And do you find that that literally changes the mindset

614
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:52.599
and ultimately, as gratitude is developed for all those things

615
00:31:52.640 --> 00:31:55.799
that you're talking about, do you find that then somehow

616
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.079
people become.

617
00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:59.880
Aware that, you know what, I don't need to remain.

618
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:06.759
Either emotionally, mentally physically in this experience and I can

619
00:32:06.839 --> 00:32:09.920
move on. Do you find the gratitude literally can help

620
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:11.079
to change that mindset.

621
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:14.519
It literally can, and it's really up to the individual

622
00:32:14.599 --> 00:32:16.440
of how much they want to practice that and how

623
00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:17.960
much they want to apply that. I mean, there's other

624
00:32:18.039 --> 00:32:21.640
things we can apply as well. It really depends on

625
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:24.960
the person. You can lead a horse to water, but

626
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:26.920
you can't make them drink, but you can provide them

627
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:28.920
with all the things that they need around them to

628
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.759
make the wisest choice, and to work with them to practice.

629
00:32:31.799 --> 00:32:34.400
They begin to practice and maybe they develop. We can

630
00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:38.640
help them to develop tools like journaling or having a

631
00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:41.599
nightly review before they go to bed and really looking

632
00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:44.000
at maybe a mistake that they made and how they

633
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:47.119
could do it differently next time, and really practicing with

634
00:32:47.799 --> 00:32:50.559
sitting down and really enjoying and loving your food or

635
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:53.480
even loving it while you're making it. There's all sorts

636
00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:55.799
of things that we can suggest and then we can

637
00:32:56.359 --> 00:32:59.200
help to reinforce it when they come back and share

638
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:02.319
their experience with it. So yes, we can.

639
00:33:03.319 --> 00:33:06.680
And how how much do you feel like meditation? I mean,

640
00:33:06.839 --> 00:33:09.640
you know, people talk a lot about meditation and some

641
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.359
are very positive about it. Others say, yeah, it doesn't

642
00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:15.039
really make a difference. What has been your experience. And

643
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:18.640
do you use meditation and how does meditation help your clients?

644
00:33:19.079 --> 00:33:21.240
If you use it, I don't.

645
00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:25.000
I do it with my mentoring students. I teach, I

646
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:27.920
facilitate classes and we'll, you know, occasionally we'll go through

647
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:29.960
some of the mentoring stuff. If someone comes to me

648
00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:32.480
and wants to work with it, I will. I don't

649
00:33:32.519 --> 00:33:35.559
hold regular and mentoring classes, but I do share tidbits.

650
00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:38.319
And that is you don't have to sit there for

651
00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:42.079
an hour in a lotus position going you know you can.

652
00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:45.839
You can do a walking meditation. You can listen to

653
00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:49.880
music that just uplifts you. You can do some breath work.

654
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:52.200
You can start with five minutes and build up to

655
00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:55.680
ten or fifteen. It doesn't have to be a drastic thing,

656
00:33:56.319 --> 00:33:59.440
but it does help to take us from fight or

657
00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:02.680
flight to and relaxed mode. It does help us to

658
00:34:03.119 --> 00:34:06.319
expand out so that we can breathe more deeply and

659
00:34:06.440 --> 00:34:09.079
let go of what's not working for us. It does

660
00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:11.360
help us if we start the day like that, to

661
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:15.239
sort of reset our day so it doesn't have to

662
00:34:15.320 --> 00:34:18.079
be like this thing that we think that it has

663
00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:21.440
to be sitting in sixty minutes and not moving a

664
00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:23.599
muscle and all that kind of stuff. There's a lot

665
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:28.079
of different ways to meditate, which is about letting go

666
00:34:28.440 --> 00:34:33.119
and just being there with ourselves and that you might

667
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:35.159
be already sort of doing, you know, like I was

668
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:37.840
talking about, you can take a walk in nature, but

669
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:40.360
not have a power walk in just this nice slow

670
00:34:40.559 --> 00:34:43.800
walk and enjoy breathing in and out and the beauty

671
00:34:43.880 --> 00:34:46.199
around you. There's all sorts of ways that we can

672
00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:51.199
bring that kind of calm assurance into our lives. Well.

673
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:55.840
I love stories. So you have a pardicular story I

674
00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:58.440
think that you talk about with the client at Center

675
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.400
late forwardies. Could you share that story with the audience

676
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:04.719
of how you were able to help her, whether it

677
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:10.320
was coaching or mentoring, to turn herself around a.

678
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:13.320
Woman her late forties. It was it on my website.

679
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:18.920
Yeah, it was on your website. Two teenage girls mother

680
00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:22.000
at home. She was a doormat never yes, say no.

681
00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:27.199
Yes, That's what I was talking about. What happened was

682
00:35:28.119 --> 00:35:31.559
it was a coaching situation and just from holding space

683
00:35:31.639 --> 00:35:34.800
and allowing her to talk about what was going on

684
00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:36.760
at work that was bothering her and what was going

685
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:38.920
on at home and she was really, really controlling at

686
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.480
home and just asking those powerful questions, sharing some reflecting back.

687
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:47.679
She finally because all the girls really wanted her teenage

688
00:35:47.719 --> 00:35:51.079
girls was to get a dog, and she was gonna

689
00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:53.519
let him get a dog, like, oh my god. And

690
00:35:53.639 --> 00:35:56.920
she finally just came to the realization from conversation. It

691
00:35:57.079 --> 00:35:59.719
was like a gradual thing where she could begin to

692
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:03.079
see herself more clearly because she just thought, no matter

693
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:05.199
how she acted, her daughters would be with her forever.

694
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:09.119
And I'm like, thinking, money, that's going to keep acting

695
00:36:09.239 --> 00:36:11.360
like this, But I would never say that, you know.

696
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:13.360
She had to come to her own knowing about that.

697
00:36:13.559 --> 00:36:17.239
And I guess there wasn't anything special that I did

698
00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:20.480
other than maybe sort of reflecting back and noticing like

699
00:36:20.679 --> 00:36:22.760
her tone of voice and her demeanor when she talked

700
00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:26.119
about certain things, and asking her maybe what if questions,

701
00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:28.920
you know, what if you tried this? But basically it

702
00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:32.559
really feels to me that just over time, she she

703
00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:35.599
came to the realization herself from I mean coaching, the

704
00:36:35.719 --> 00:36:37.159
main thing you know, when you when you when you

705
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:40.599
get a coach, as I've been trained where I'm not

706
00:36:40.679 --> 00:36:42.920
treating my hornets. Just I love the school I went

707
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:46.840
to the Global Coaching Academy and FOREF Australia. But anyway,

708
00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:51.119
when you hold like a big, judgment free, unconditionally loving

709
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.559
space for somebody and give them the opportunity to talk

710
00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:56.920
and share and maybe no one else listened to them

711
00:36:57.039 --> 00:37:02.079
like that, ask powerful questions, reflect, share, share your intuitions

712
00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:04.719
and always hand it back to them. I find that

713
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:07.639
they come to stronger and more amazing realizations than I

714
00:37:07.639 --> 00:37:08.519
could ever tell them.

715
00:37:09.079 --> 00:37:14.199
Well, and yeah, I think you've hit the point there

716
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:17.320
that I think is so important. And for people who

717
00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:19.800
are really seeking help, I think one of the things

718
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:23.039
they really need to look at very carefully is are

719
00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:27.519
they experiencing just talking back and forth talk talk talk,

720
00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:32.679
or do they have someone there, whether it's a psychiatrist, psychologist,

721
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:37.360
or coach, whatever it is, that is literally asking questions

722
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:41.880
that allows them to discover within themselves the answers. Because

723
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:46.320
I really believe that in most situations, people have the

724
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:49.760
answer within themselves if they can just be guided to

725
00:37:49.880 --> 00:37:52.159
start to ask those questions within themselves.

726
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:56.199
Yeah, and one of my mentors said to me years

727
00:37:56.239 --> 00:37:59.280
ago is that you know, Arlene, if you have the question,

728
00:38:00.079 --> 00:38:02.840
the answer is already inside of you. And I'm like, what,

729
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:06.760
But you know, I guess this is exactly what you're saying.

730
00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:09.880
You know, if they already have all these questions, the answers,

731
00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:12.800
they're already inside of them, and so it's our job

732
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:15.480
to hold that space and to do what we do

733
00:38:16.079 --> 00:38:17.280
so they can discover.

734
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:20.760
That answer well and to be able to ask, you know,

735
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:24.719
as you're observing, be able to ask additional questions that

736
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:27.400
can guide them, which I find fascinating.

737
00:38:27.480 --> 00:38:29.920
You're really a guide as a coach, You're.

738
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:33.159
Really a guide to asking questions that guides them to

739
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:36.920
that self understanding and sometimes it takes a bit of

740
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:40.280
time and you have to ask very pertinent questions for

741
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:43.800
them to finowly discover within themselves the answer. Yeah.

742
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:47.159
I mean, as partnering with them, I'm their partner. I'm

743
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:50.920
walking alongside of you. I'm right there and you know

744
00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.719
where you If it feels like they're going on a

745
00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:55.360
different track, I'll say, you know, you said do you

746
00:38:55.440 --> 00:38:57.360
want to do this in the session, and now you're

747
00:38:57.400 --> 00:38:59.440
talking about this, what is it that you'd like to

748
00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:01.960
focus on? So I always bring it back to them.

749
00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:05.960
But it really feels like a partnership, and you.

750
00:39:06.039 --> 00:39:08.000
Know, I think the question that always comes to my

751
00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:13.159
mind is how do you help people to become aware?

752
00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:16.119
And obviously people who have reached out to you have

753
00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:18.960
become aware. Have you found that there's a common theme

754
00:39:19.639 --> 00:39:22.800
that causes that element of awareness.

755
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:24.760
That you know, what is not the life I want

756
00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:28.400
to live. I'm not happy. I need to make some changes.

757
00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:31.519
What is there a common thing that you have found,

758
00:39:31.639 --> 00:39:36.239
particularly with women, that creates ultimately that awareness to where

759
00:39:36.280 --> 00:39:39.400
they're finally willing to reach out to you or to someone.

760
00:39:39.960 --> 00:39:42.320
Well, I guess what happens is to get fed up

761
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:45.159
with how they're feeling and how their life is going

762
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:47.599
in a certain aspect of it. Most people don't come

763
00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:49.639
to me in the whole life is just horrible. They'll

764
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:52.519
have like this aspect of a life that needs working on,

765
00:39:53.199 --> 00:39:56.440
and they won't necessarily have awareness of everything that they

766
00:39:56.519 --> 00:39:59.000
need to have awareness of to maybe make a change

767
00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:01.559
or a new decision. But I do are there very

768
00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:05.400
poignantly aware that this is no longer working and I

769
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:07.800
do need some help to get out of this hole

770
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:11.400
that I've sort of fallen into instead of moving around it.

771
00:40:11.639 --> 00:40:15.599
So that would be the common theme that I know

772
00:40:15.800 --> 00:40:18.719
that I need to make a change I'm not sure

773
00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:21.239
how to do it, and I really maybe need some

774
00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:24.800
help in navigating that to get to the other side.

775
00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:27.679
And I can sort of see and visualize what that is,

776
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:31.000
but in this moment, I don't have the tools or

777
00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:33.559
the ability or whatever to do it by myself.

778
00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:36.280
Well, and I think you've hit the key, and for

779
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:38.960
people that are listening, I think is so important for

780
00:40:39.079 --> 00:40:42.079
all of us to understand that you know, and you

781
00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.199
talk about you have mentors. I've had coaches, I've had mentors.

782
00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:49.480
The key is is that we can't really do it

783
00:40:49.559 --> 00:40:52.719
all by ourselves. We really need to be able to

784
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:55.679
reach out and find someone that we can trust, that

785
00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:58.639
we know has the ability to help us, either through

786
00:40:58.719 --> 00:41:02.719
mentoring or coaching, that allows us to do that self

787
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:07.119
discovery then and that self transformation to really reach the

788
00:41:07.239 --> 00:41:07.599
level that.

789
00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:08.880
We would like to reach.

790
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:12.119
Yeah, I agree, and I love it, and I love

791
00:41:12.239 --> 00:41:15.079
like getting together groups of like I call like minded

792
00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:17.480
soul that I that we can work together with, because

793
00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:19.280
I find that that's really uplifting as well.

794
00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:22.039
But in order to do this, I have to.

795
00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:23.960
Be practicing it, and I have to be evolving and

796
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:27.079
growing myself. I mean, I think that's part of part

797
00:41:27.119 --> 00:41:27.800
of the commitment.

798
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:29.360
Yeah, I agree with that.

799
00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:32.760
And so as we as we close, what would be

800
00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:36.239
a message that you would like to share with the audience.

801
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.480
I'd like to share a trinity A try and go

802
00:41:39.639 --> 00:41:43.039
to be kind, patient, and tolerant with yourself that you know,

803
00:41:43.119 --> 00:41:46.280
we're all in a journey. It's not fairly easy, it

804
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:50.559
could be very challenging, but practice kindness, patience, and tolerance

805
00:41:50.599 --> 00:41:53.360
with yourself and others and that can be a big

806
00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:56.639
key to having a new experience in your life.

807
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:59.320
I love it, Arlene, Thank you so much, you know,

808
00:41:59.800 --> 00:42:02.840
and again thank you what I find and the whole

809
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:06.920
reason I do this podcast is to find people who

810
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:09.119
are making a difference in other people's lives.

811
00:42:09.239 --> 00:42:11.360
And as we talk and as.

812
00:42:11.239 --> 00:42:15.079
We chat and have this conversation, I know that somebody

813
00:42:15.159 --> 00:42:17.599
out there that's listening is going to be touched in

814
00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:20.000
a way that they're going to be willing to reach

815
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:23.639
out either to you or to someone to help them

816
00:42:23.760 --> 00:42:26.400
to move forward in their lives. And so thank you

817
00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:28.639
so much for what you do, and kudos to you

818
00:42:29.320 --> 00:42:32.119
for being willing to move away from being an attorney

819
00:42:33.559 --> 00:42:37.159
to being willing to really focus your attention on helping

820
00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:40.760
women in particular, to live a better life, to experience

821
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:42.960
greater joy, love and happiness in their lives.

822
00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:44.480
How do people find you?

823
00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:48.840
Well, you can come to my website Jewel Consultancy, Jewel

824
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:52.039
Like the Diamond, or you can just google my name

825
00:42:52.239 --> 00:42:55.639
Arlene Cohen cohgn Miller. There's only one of me. There's

826
00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:57.639
a lot of Arleen Miller's, but there's only one Arlene

827
00:42:57.639 --> 00:43:00.760
Cohen Miller. Or you can always text. I know people say,

828
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:02.599
why don't you give out your phone numbers? And why not?

829
00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:06.239
It's seven two oh nine three six two six three four.

830
00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:09.079
Just remind me that you met me on this show

831
00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:11.280
and you just have a question or something like that,

832
00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:12.519
and I will get back to you.

833
00:43:13.159 --> 00:43:14.679
Wonderful. Well, thank you so much.

834
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:19.039
I really appreciate your insights today and folks, thank you

835
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:20.039
for listening.

836
00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:21.800
And hope this is making.

837
00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:24.480
A difference for you and you'll reach out to Arlene

838
00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:27.440
if that is something that you find could make a

839
00:43:27.480 --> 00:43:28.440
difference in your life.

840
00:43:28.519 --> 00:43:31.280
So this is doctor Doug saying no mistay.

841
00:43:39.239 --> 00:43:39.519
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