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At the end of the day, it's not about what
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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what
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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,
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who you've made better, It's about what you've given back.
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Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is
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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you
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to do the same.
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Arlene, welcome to the show.
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Thank you for having me.
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I'm looking forward to it. E. I'd love for you
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to share with the audience kind of your personal journey
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what brought you to this point where there are things
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in your life where you had AHA moments or whatever
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that was that brought you to what you're doing today
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to help particularly women I understand, really transform their lives.
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Well, when I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to
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become an attorney. I don't think my parents believe me. First,
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we didn't have any attorneys in my family. My father
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was an entrepreneur, but I think he's pretty old fashioned
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of me going to college and getting married and having
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lots of babies. So I didn't exactly do that. I
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did go to college, I did get my law degree.
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I went back to Kentucky where I was born and
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raised and went to University of Kentucky College a law
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for that. After law school, my then husband and I
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went up to Cleveland where he had stuff that he
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needed to do for his career, and I worked for
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some other attorneys for about three four years, and then
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I opened my own office in a suburb of the
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western suburb of Cleveland called Lakewood, just a little tiny
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office with a couple of other attorneys and businesses. And
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I immediately found out I was pregnant, and so my
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family and my husband husband's family were all in Louisville, Kentucky,
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and all of my peers from law school, all my
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connections were practicing in Kentucky or like we're Indiana and
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Ohio met Kentucky, we're the Ohio River. So I really
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didn't have a support system, so I had to sort
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of grow my tribe on my own, do things, sort
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of wing it from scratch of how to be how
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to start a business, get up, and going how to
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be a mom, all at the same time while my
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then husband was working like seventy hours a week. So
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it was an interesting journey and I guess that's part
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of the reason. I have a lot of compassion and
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empathy for women, especially mothers who are working, and so
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that's eventually the Welt short story. I ended up being
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a work life balance and harmony coach, but I am
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expanding that out to more the tech profession just because
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of all the professions, they are just the most stressed out,
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especially the ones that are working from home, especially since COVID,
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and it just feels like a lot of what I
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share could be helpful for them, and so I'm learning
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to really better with men at workshops and stuff like that.
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I have been an attorney. I was an attorney for
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many many years. I had a solo practice in a
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suburb of Cleveland, and I practiced family law and commercial law.
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And then I sold when my son was nine and
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we moved to Longmanck, Colorado, a suburb of Denver, and
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I bought into another commercial law practice. I had met
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the gentleman when I went to a business meeting in
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Chicago and ended up marrying him, and we were married
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for quite a long time, and so that's how I
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went through the law stuff. And when I was an attorney,
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I also started studying. I got a diploma in Transformational
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Holistic Counseling in coaching and mentoring and certification and meditation.
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And this is about six years before we sold the business,
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because I felt that they didn't teach me how to
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listen as an attorney, you know, and I was doing
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a lot of negotiating of settlements, I was doing the
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marketing for a lot of the marketing for the law firm,
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and I knew there was something missing. I didn't know
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what it was, but it was just really learning how to,
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like they call it, hold space for people, you know,
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kind of that non judgmental, that unconditional positive regard space
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where people can relax and feel heard and understood and
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so among other things. I learned that when I got
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that extra education, and I've had my own business as
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a coach and a mentor and a facilitator and the
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other things I do. I opened the office, I opened
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the business in twenty eleven, but I really didn't start,
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you know, making a more of a full time thing
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until we sold the business several years ago. I never
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thought I was going to do that, but yeah, that's
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what that's what happened.
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Okay, So, so you had your own personal transformation.
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What was it suddenly a sudden awareness.
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Or what was it that helped you to realize that, Okay,
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you know, I'm going to sell my law practice, which
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is you know, quite something and go into this transformational
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help for people for women. What what was that aha
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moment particularly or was there one or was it just gradual?
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It was a gradual thing, you know. I got the certification,
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I started using it in my business. I saw out
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worked with my staff. I saw how it worked with
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my family and my partner and the people that I
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was working with and marketing with because I was running
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a business meeting in California once a year. It's always
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like I had a lot of I've got a lot
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of chairs, quite a few different things than a national
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business organization that we were involved in. So it was gradual.
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You know.
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I never really thought I was going to leave the
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practice a law. I just think after many, many years
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of practicing law, I got burnt out and I just
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really needed a change and I was helping people in
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the practice of law. But there was never a break.
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You know, It's always there if you're a coach, if
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your own if you have your own business as a
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coach and a mentor and a facilitator. You can that
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when you're going to have, when you're going to talk
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to people, when you're going to do all the things
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that you do, there's no and there's like a beginning
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and an end. But it's not true with the practice
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of law.
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And isn't that interesting?
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We get so caught up in what we have been
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told we should do or what we originally choose to do,
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and find that we get so caught up and there's
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no balance. I was talking to my daughter the other day,
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and she had gone back to her university and been
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asked to, you know, kind of talk to the students
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about what she had done and where she was now
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working in an area entirely different than what her master's
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degree was in. But what when we talked about it
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a little bit, she talked about this work balance and
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how she realized that for her work balance was so
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essential and that was really an important aspect of her
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values and her desires.
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And it seems like we can get also.
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Caught up in work and what we're doing, and we
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find that we get into something we think we really like,
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and all of a sudden it gets to the point
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where we get so busy that we do not have
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that balance much. And is this an area that you
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have found as you're working with women that seems to
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be a common theme.
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Yeah, there's a lot of common themes. And I mean
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the sexes are different. You know, women are nurturers. We
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give birth to babies, and it's still in this world
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even though the fathers are more involved. It feels like,
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especially when the kids are young, a lot more falls
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on us. And it was really hard, you know, well
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the first year I opened my law firm, and after
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my son was born, because you know, I was pregnant
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for the first nine months that I had him, you know,
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the first you know year of his life, I didn't
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work full time, you know, I was I was really
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grateful that my partner had a roof over our heads
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and food on the table, you know, even if I
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wasn't seeing him very much, I didn't have to worry
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about that, and it would have been impossible. I mean,
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I don't know how I could have done it all
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and gotten any sleep because I wasn't doing any sleep
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pretty much anyway at the new mom So it is
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and I also like to bring in balance, not just balance,
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but harmony. Because balance feels too like you're going to
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get something perfect and it's all going to be okay.
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I don't think it's like that for anybody. You know,
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everything's always shifting and changing and we need to be
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flexible and adaptable.
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Well, and as I went on to your website, and
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you know, I love when you know here you have
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all these things you talk about or mentioned on your
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website and other things. And one of the things that
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just hit me strongly is you really talk about manifesting
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and living in love and unleashing love.
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Can you talk about that? And how does that.
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Apply to the to the people now that you are
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working with and helping And what is usually their situation
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that causes them to reach out to you?
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Well, three questions. I'm sorry about that.
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Well, you know, I think people reach out to me
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for a whole bunch of different reasons, but the bottom
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line is is they feel stressed and anxiou sit and
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overwhelmed and maybe burnt out, and they can feel they
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feel an affinity with me and hope that working with me,
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they can find a way to alleviate some of that
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stuff and feel more calm and centered and confident. Because
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I like to work with people from the inside out.
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You know.
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If like if we feel really calm and grounded and
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fully present in ourselves, it's like our energy sort of
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expands out, like it's like a bigger heart that's holding us,
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and it's a lot easy. We can get whatever we
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need to get done. Is it might not change, but
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it's going to feel a lot easier to move through it.
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It's like I have certain times the day and I
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write a blog and sometimes if I've hit the right time,
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it just flows out of me. It takes five or
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ten minutes. It's done. If you hit me do it
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now this time of night, I will be staring at
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the screen for three hours. So you know, we have
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to know our own buyer rhythms, you know, and what
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works for us. And I really do feel that what
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ties is up and knocks is that we get so
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busy doing or giving to other people that our cup
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runs dry. And so the best way to be able
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to be of service to itself and others is to
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know how to fill ourselves up with love. So our
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heart is full of love and we're sharing the overflow
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with others because otherwise we're going to get burnt out.
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We're going to get frustrated or angry of the people
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that we're giving to. Then we're going to be They're
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going to judge yourself for that and feel guilty, and
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then we'll go through the same kind of process of
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overgiving again. And I do find it more prevalent in women,
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but it can be anybody, and it's not a comfortable
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process to go through. So I like to help people
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to break that cycle.
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Well, you know, it's interesting and this is a common
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thing that I love to talk about, and you kind
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of referred to it, and that is how our experiences
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in life, our behavior are. So often we tend to
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do this, do that, do this, do that so that
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we'll be happy, and so forth, rather than recognizing that
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as we can internal and start to change the soul within,
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if we can call it that, that all of a sudden,
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the outer experiences change because it's a matter of a
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reflection of who we have become, not a reflection of
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who we're trying to be.
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What are your thoughts on that, Well, I agree with
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you one hundred and ten percent. And I mean one
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of the ways that I do that if I get
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out in nature, you know, because she's just to me,
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she feels so loving and kind and soothing. And I
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live in Colorado and the beautiful place to get out
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in nature, but you can live anywhere, and I think
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that connection is really really important, the connection with ourselves.
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And if we're in front of a computer all day,
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it's really hard to do that, but we you know,
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it seems to me it's easier out in nature just
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to feel the energy of it, which is beautiful usually,
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and just to connect with the ground and to appreciate
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the beauty around us. That's a great way to work
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with stuff. But yeah, we feel different on the inside,
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and we feel more love and kindness and respect for
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ourselves and others. We're going to see the world a
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lot differently than if we just feel really stressed and
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anxious and overwhelmed. And you know, when we're like that,
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we're all contracted. We're not even breathing right, so we're
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not even oxygenating our bodies, and it's just not a
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happy way, how a happy place to be.
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So how do you help people? Let's get a little